To Jim Belu, Thanks For Nothing! Love, Julie Newmar.

Ah, what's more fun than feuds between C-list celebrities, I ask you? Whilst bagel-noshing this morning, I came across the news (via MSNBC) that Jim Belushi has sued Julie Newmar for a tidy sum of four million bucks. Holy frivolous lawsuit, Batman! She's being accused of a campaign of harassment that includes playing loud music directed as his backyard and making defamatory statements about him to friends and neighbors.

I think I speak for everybody when I say...Julie Newmar is still alive!?

But seriously, if I won a few million dead presidents every time one of my neighbors talked smack about me or played godawful music at a non-appreciated volume I'd be richer than the Monopoly guy by now. But besides that, even if it's true, could you really blame her? I mean, would you want to have Jim Belushi as your neighbor?

The guy plummeted from an obnoxious no-talent ass-clown who headlined countless excruciating comedies in the 80's to a an obnoxious no-talent ass-clown who looks more and more like Steven Seagal while headlining bland ABC comedies and piling up countless straight-to-video fecal matter. Did you know he actually made a sequel to K-9 in 2002? Talk about the quintessential dog returning to his own vomit!

So, Jim suing anybody for defamation of character? Please. The guy's been defaming his own character for over twenty years now; no assistance from outside world was necessary. Julie, even if you don't continue your non-violent protest of what I like to picture as standing in front of Jim's house while holding up a boombox playing Taking Care Of Business on an endless loop to get rid of the lesser Belushi, you'll still have my neverending respect embarking on this Gandhi-esque protest.

Related tune: There Goes The Neighborhood by Sheryl Crow (Windows Media via cdzlimited.org)

posted by drew on 11/08/2004

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