The Usual Suspects 2: The Sequel That Must Die

Listen to Verbal Kint: "You think you can catch Keyser Soze? You think a guy like that comes this close to getting caught, and sticks his head out? If he comes up for anything it'll be to get rid of me. After that... my guess is you'll never hear from him again."

I hope to God he's right. Because according to an interview (via Moviehole), Chazz Palminteri has recently said the following about a Usual Suspects sequel: "They're past the talking about it stage. I'm looking forward to it. The title they like is Searching For Keyser Soze."

I'll probably sh*t blood tonight.

Oh yeah, don't read past this point if you haven't seen The Usual Suspects yet. In fact, if you haven't seen it yet, get your ass to the video store right now and pick it up. I mean it. Scram!

Ummm...what would possibly be the point doing a sequel? The element that made the movie unique was the "Who is Keyser Soze?" thing, and everybody on the planet knows the answer by now. Not to mention the teensy-weensy problem that he killed all the other usual suspects. Palminteri's character lived, so it makes sense he'd feel glee about the potential for a sequel.

After all, Noel (Chazz directed) currently has a zero on Rotten Tomatoes. And the guy hasn't been in a good movie since Hurlyburly, and that was '98. Which is sad really, since he was perfect in that flick, and had what looked to be a promising career back in the Bronx Tale/Bullets Over Broadway days.

But I'm positive that Spacey wouldn't star in it and that Bryan Singer wouldn't do it. Not inside info or anything, but it wouldn't make any sense for them to do it. If both of them had failing careers, it would be logical. But Singer can choose any project he wants after the X-Men success and is about to direct Superman. And Spacey's getting great reviews for Beyond The Sea, is loving doing theater, and is about to get a big paycheck to be Lex Luthor. There's absolutely no reason for them to go back to the well. So a Usual Suspects 2 where the mystery is gone and with the two best parts of the original splitsville is not a movie that gets me enthused in the least.

To mangle something my pal Verbal once uttered, "Keaton always said, 'I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him.' Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is a Usual Suspects sequel."

Related tune: Stop Draggin' My Heart Around by Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty (mp3 via cdharris.net)

posted by drew on 11/26/2004

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