posted by drew on 12/14/2005
Back to drew's blog-o-rama?
So, just finished watching the new Poseidon trailer (Quicktime), and to tell you the truth...it didn't do anything for me. Seems pretty much like the 70's one: big boat, "big" stars, big wave, yadda yadda. Talk about a movie that really didn't need to get made again; seems like it was just last week that Steve Guttenberg and C. Thomas Howell were on a ship doing the same herky jerky on the small screen.
What's the process of getting the rights to this flick, anyway? Buy one dozen donuts, get a free crueller and the rights to "pimp my Poseidon?" Between the original flick, Titanic, and Perfect Storm (also by Wolfgang, the lazy bastard), it's safe to say the nautical "star"-studded disaster movie should have officially been given a burial at sea years ago. Or, to be oh-so-cute, perhaps whoever conceived of this remake should had taken a "morning after" pill instead.
I just realized I may be coming off a tad jaded here, so here's a positive thing I noticed during this trailer:
I had no idea that Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas was on this! I can only pray that she sings "My Humps". I can just picture it now...
INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT
Fergie is singing on stage in front of a large crowd that
is DESPERATELY trying to keep their lobster bisque down.
FERGIE
(singing)
...tryin a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can't touch it,
If u touch it I'm-
Fergie SHRIEKS in horror as a massive wave SLAMS into the ship.
From out of nowhere, a huge Christmas tree CRUSHES her.
FERGIE
(barely audible)
My only regret in life is that I
did not refer to my humps as much
as I would have liked to.
Fergie EXPIRES.
I'd pay good money to see that.
Related tune: The Morning After by Maureen McGovern (Real Audio via terrificmusic.com)
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