Babe Script - The Dialogue

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================= BABE =================



[ Snorting ]

 

[ Narrator ]

THIS IS A TALE ABOUT

AN UNPREJUDICED HEART...

 

AND HOW IT CHANGED OUR VALLEY

FOREVER.

 

THERE WAS A TIME

NOT SO LONG AGO...

 

WHEN PIGS

WERE AFFORDED NO RESPECT

EXCEPT BY OTHER PIGS.

 

THEY LIVED THEIR WHOLE LIVES

IN A CRUEL AND SUNLESS WORLD.

 

IN THOSE DAYS,

PIGS BELIEVED THAT THE SOONER

THEY GREW LARGE AND FAT,

 

THE SOONER THEY'D BE TAKEN

INTO PIG PARADISE.

 

HAA !  HAA !

GET UP !

A PLACE SO WONDERFUL...

 

THAT NO PIG

HAD EVER THOUGHT TO COME BACK.

 YO !  YEAH !

 

GOOD-BYE, MOM.

 

SO WHEN THE DAY CAME FOR THEIR

PARENTS TO GO TO THAT OTHER

WORLD OF ENDLESS PLEASURES,

 

IT WAS NOT A TIME

FOR YOUNG PIGS TO BE SAD.

 

JUST ANOTHER STEP TOWARDS

THE DAY WHEN THEY, TOO,

WOULD MAKE THE JOURNEY.

 

[ Sobbing ]

PERHAPS IT WAS BECAUSE

HE WAS ALONE.

 

PERHAPS HIS SADNESS

MADE HIM EASIER TO CATCH.

 

WHATEVER THE REASON,

OF THE THOUSANDS OF ANIMALS

IN THE PIGGERY THAT DAY...

 

ONLY ONE WAS CHOSEN.

 

HOW'S THIS ONE,

HARRY.

JUST RIGHT

FOR THE PURPOSE.

 

HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU ?

IT'S A RUNT, HARRY.

A WORTHLESS, LITTLE RUNT.

 

[ Chuckling ]

[ Pig Squealing ]

 

[ Screaming ]

 

[ Auctioneer Chattering ]

 

[ Chuckling ]

YOU'RE TOO MODEST,

ESME HOGGETT.

 

NINE OUT OF TEN

FIRST PRIZES

FOR JAMS AND JELLIES...

 

IS MORE THAN

A MATTER OF LUCK.

 

LUCK STILL PLAYS ITS PART.

OUR BERRIES WERE

WICKEDLY GOOD THIS YEAR.

 

AND OUR WATER

IS VERY TASTY TOO.

 

OF COURSE, WE DON'T USE

THE TOWN WATER.

 

[ Pig Squealing ]

 

ARTHUR HOGGETT !

HOW'S IT GOING, ARTHUR ?

 

HOW ARE THOSE SHEEP OF YOURS ?

COME ON, TRY YOUR LUCK.

 

HOW ABOUT TAKING

A GUESS, ARTHUR ?

ALL FOR A GOOD CAUSE.

 

- DON'T KEEP PIGS.

- CHRISTMAS DAY.  THINK OF IT.

  WHAT A FEAST !

 

THAT'LL DO, PIG.

 

[ Narrator ]

THE PIG AND THE FARMER

REGARDED EACH OTHER.

 

AND FOR A FLEETING MOMENT,

SOMETHING PASSED BETWEEN THEM.

 

A FAINT SENSE

OF SOME COMMON DESTINY.

[ Man ]  HAH.  STRANGE.

 

FIRST TIME THE LITTLE THING

HASN'T SCREAMED ITS HEAD OFF.

 

NOW YOU'LL HAVE

TO HAVE A GUESS.

 

SIXTEEN POUNDS, FIVE--

[ Pig Urinating ]

 

EEW.

 

TWO OUNCES.

 

[ Mrs. Hoggett ]

HOOEY !  HOGGETT !

 

HOOEY!  HOGGETT !

 

THANKS, ARTHUR.

WE'LL BE WEIGHING

THE LITTLE PIG TOMORROW.

 

WE'LL PHONE YOU

IF YOU WIN.

 

WHEN YOU WIN, ARTHUR.

WHEN YOU WIN !

[ Laughing ]

 

CARE TO GUESS

THE PIG'S WEIGHT, SIR ?

 

SUPPORT THE LION'S CLUB.

 

[ Clock Ticking ]

 

[ Huffs ]

 

OOH !

[ Chuckles ]

 

WHAT COULD WE DO

WITH A PIG, EH, DUCHESS ?

 

JUST THINK.

TWO NICE HAMS.

TWO SIDES OF BACON.

 

OH, AND PORK CHOPS,

KIDNEY, LIVER, CHITLINS,

PICKLE HIS FEET.

 

[ Phone Rings ]

SAVE HIS BLOOD FOR BLACK

PUDDIN'.  THERE'S THE TELEPHONE.

 

HOGGETT !

 

[ Man ]

GOOD NEWS, ARTHUR.

YOU'VE WON THE PIG.

 

OH.

 

[ Mouse ]

PIGS ARE DEFINITELY STUPID.

[ Giggling ]

 

OH, OH, OH, OH.

 

[ Puppy ]

WHAT IS IT, MOM ?

THAT'S A PIG.

 

THEY'LL EAT HIM WHEN HE'S BIG.

WILL THEY EAT US ?

 

GOOD HEAVENS, NO !

THE BOSSES ONLY EAT

STUPID ANIMALS...

 

LIKE SHEEP AND DUCKS

AND CHICKENS.

 

[ Puppies Barking ]

YEA !

 

IT DOES LOOK STUPID,

MOM.

 

NOT AS STUPID AS SHEEP,

MIND YOU.  BUT PIGS

ARE DEFINITELY STUPID.

 

EXCUSE ME.

NO, WE'RE NOT.

 

- GOOD HEAVENS !

  WHO ARE YOU ?

- I'M A LARGE WHITE.

 

- YES, THAT'S YOUR BREED, DEAR.

  WHAT'S YOUR NAME ?

- I DON'T KNOW.

 

WHAT DID YOUR MOTHER CALL YOU

TO TELL YOU APART FROM

YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS ?

 

OUR MOM CALLED US

ALL THE SAME.

 

AND WHAT WAS THAT,

DEAR ?

 

SHE CALLED US ALL BABE.

 

PERHAPS WE SHOULDN'T TALK

TOO MUCH ABOUT, UH, FAMILY.

 

[ Crying ]

I WANT MY MOM.

 

[ Whimpering ]

 

THERE, THERE.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE

A BRAVE BOY NOW.

 

I LEFT MY MOTHER WHEN

I WAS YOUR AGE, AND MY PUPS

WILL HAVE TO LEAVE ME SOON.

 

BUT I'LL KEEP AN EYE ON YOU,

IF YOU LIKE,

JUST 'TIL YOU FIND YOUR FEET.

 

THE LITTLE PIG'S A BIT LOW.

HE'S GOING TO SLEEP WITH US...

 

JUST 'TIL

HE FINDS HIS FEET.

[ Snarls ]

 

UNTIL HE FINDS HIS FEET.

 

BUT, MOM,

HE'LL WET THE BED !

 

NONSENSE !

 

IF YOU DO WANT TO DO ANYTHING,

YOU'LL GO OUTSIDE, WON'T YOU ?

 

[ Sniffling ]

GOOD BOY.

 

[ Puppies Together ]

YEA !

 

YEAH !  YEAH !

STOMP ON HIM !

 

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, PIG ?

 

WHAT DOES

HE TASTE LIKE ?

WHERE DID HE COME FROM ?

 

[ Clucking ]

 

COMIN' THROUGH !

HEY, GET LOST !

 

- [ Clucking ]

- [ Duck Crowing ]

 

[ Crowing Continues ]

 

WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING

ABOUT THAT DUCK.

 

OOH !  OOH !

 

DOODLE-LOO-DEE-DOO.

 

WHAT'S THAT NOISE ?

IT'S ONLY FERDINAND.

 

WHAT'S FERDINAND ?

HE'S A DUCK.

 

HE WANTS TO BE

A ROOSTER.

HE HATES BEING A DUCK.

 

WE'LL CATCH HIM ONE DAY

AND EAT HIM.  WON'T WE, MOM ?

YES, DEAR.

 

YECH !

WHO'D WANT TO EAT A DUCK ?

 

[ Whistles ]

 

[ Yipping ]

 

BABE, YOU WAIT HERE.

 

- AREN'T PIGS ALLOWED ?

- NOT LIVE ONES.

 

- SORRY, DEAR.  ONLY DOGS

  AND CATS INSIDE THE HOUSE.

- WHY ?

 

THAT'S JUST THE WAY

THINGS ARE.

 

[ Purring ]

 

- [ Screeching ]

- [ Barking ]

 

WHOA !

 

[ Babe Groaning ]

 

OW !

[ Mrs. Hoggett ]

PIG-PIG-PIGGY !

 

OOH, WHAT A SPECTACULAR FEAST

I'VE GOT FOR YOU.

 

OH, YES !  WHAT A LUCKY

LITTLE PORK CHOP YOU ARE.

 

DELICIOUS !  OH, YES !

YUM, YUM, YUM.

 

WHO'S GONNA GROW UP

TO BE A BIG, FAT PIG ?

 

YOU ARE !  YOU ARE !

YUM, YUM, YUM.

 

[ Puppy ]

WHERE ARE WE GOING ?

TO WORK WITH THE SHEEP.

 

- WHAT'S SHEEP ?

- SHEEP IS ANIMALS

  WITH THICK, WOOLLY COATS.

 

AND THICK WOOLLY HEADS.

AND MEN CAN'T

LOOK AFTER THEM WITHOUT US.

 

- WHY DO THEY NEED US ?

- [ Together ]

 'CAUSE WE'RE SHEEPDOGS !  YEA !

 

- NOT YOU, DEAR.

- WHY NOT ?

 

WE HAVE TO DO DOGS' WORK.

YOU'RE A PIG.  YOUR JOB IS

TO STAY HERE AND EAT YOUR FOOD.

 

WE'LL BE BACK

AT THE END OF THE DAY.

 

[ Female Voice ]

THEY DON'T THINK I'LL REMEMBER.

WELL, I DON'T FORGET.

 

SEEMS LIKE A SHEEP'S

JUST BORN TO SUFFER.

 

HELLO ?

EXCUSE ME.

 

[ Coughing ]

DARN WOLF !

 

- I'M NOT A WOLF.  I'M A PIG.

  WHAT ARE YOU ?

- EWE.

 

PIG.  WHAT ARE YOU ?

 

I'M A EWE.

 A EWE !

 

YOU'RE A SHEEP !

I'LL NOT BE CALLED A

COMMON SHEEP, THANK YOU KINDLY.

 

 I'M A BORDER LEICESTER EWE.

 THE NAME'S MAA.

 

[ Coughing ]

OH.

 

- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, MAA ?

- FOOT ROT.  AND I GOT ME

  A NASTY COUGH.

 

AND I'M NOT AS YOUNG

AS I USED TO BE.

[ Coughing ]

 

[ Coughing,

  Bleating ]

 

HMPH.

 

"" [ Humming ]

 

- SEEM LIKE A NICE YOUNG PIG.

  WHAT BE YOUR NAME ?

- BABE.

 

NOT LIKE THEM WOLVES.

TREAT YOU LIKE DIRT, THEY DO !

 

BITE YOU AS SOON AS

LOOK AT YOU, THOSE SAVAGES !

BITE YOU ?

 

AND WORSE.

SOME WOLVES BE SO BAD,

 

THEY RUN A SHEEP DOWN

AND TEAR IT TO PIECES.

 

[ Coughing ]

FLY WOULD NEVER DO THAT !

 

FLY, IS IT ?

A RIGHT VICIOUS CREATURE

SHE BE, I'LL TELL YOU.

 

- NOT FLY.

- ALL THEM WOLVES IS CRUEL

  TO SHEEP.  ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

 

BRUTAL SAVAGES !

THAT'S WHAT THEY BE.

 

 I WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE

 A GENTLE SOUL LIKE YOU

 MIXIN' WITH THE LIKES OF THEM.

 

[ Coughing ]

 

[ Narrator ]

THAT AFTERNOON

WHEN HE SAW FLY,

 

THE PIG'S MIND

WAS A TANGLE OF QUESTIONS.

 

CRUEL, VICIOUS, BRUTAL ?

 

WHAT WAS IT THAT DOGS DID

IN THE FIELDS ALL DAY ?

 

- HELLO, BABE ?

  HAD A GOOD DAY ?

- YES, THANK YOU.

 

[ Giggling ]

 

[ Narrator ]

THE OLD SHEEP

HAD TO BE WRONG ABOUT FLY.

 

AND THE PIG PROMISED HIMSELF

THAT HE WOULD NEVER THINK BADLY

OF ANY CREATURE EVER AGAIN.

 

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT !

[ Laughing ]

 

THE MORNING OF

 THE TERRIBLE CRIME...

 

STARTED LIKE ANY OTHER

ON HOGGETT FARM.

 

COMIN' THROUGH !

COMIN' THROUGH !

[ Clucking ]

 

TAKE OFF !

 

- [ Chuckles ]  NOW !

- UP, UP, UP.

 

- [ Clucking ]

- NEE-NEE-NEE-NEE.

 

 -[ Crowing ]

- [ Alarm Ringing ]

 - HMM ?

 

I WAS WORRIED IT MIGHT HAVE

A HARSH TONE, BUT THAT'S

QUITE A NICE MUSICAL RING.

 

I WALKED INTO

O'HALLORAN'S HARDWARE, AND

THERE IT WAS WAITING FOR ME.

 

WHAT A SPLENDID WAY

TO WAKE UP EACH MORNING !

 

HOGGETT, DEAR.

CHURCH.

 

[ Narrator ]

WHEN EMBARKING

ON AN AUDACIOUS CRIME,

 

A DUCK NEEDS

 A WILLING ACCOMPLICE.

 

A CREATURE WHO IS RELIABLE,

BEYOND SUSPICION,

 

AND ABOVE ALL...

EXTREMELY GULLIBLE.

 

HEY !  PSST !

 

WHA--  WHAT ?

 

YOU LOOK LIKE

AN INTELLIGENT, SOPHISTICATED,

DISCERNING YOUNG FELLA.

 

- WHO, ME ?

- YEAH.  FOLLOW ME.  OH, BOY !

  ARE YOU IN FOR SOME FUN !

 

WHAT ARE WE DOIN' ?

WHERE ARE WE GOIN' ?

 

[ Narrator ]

NOW THE DUCK KNEW

EXACTLY WHAT HE HAD TO DO.

 

THE ALARM CLOCK HAD TO GO.

HIS VERY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.

[ Duck ]  DO YOU SEE IT ?

 

YES.

GOOD.

 

[ Babe ] 

SO I GO THROUGH THE KITCHEN,

ACROSS THE LIVING ROOM...

 

GOOD, GOOD.

INTO THE BEDROOM.

 

GET THE MECHANICAL ROOSTER

AND BRING IT OUT TO YOU.

 

- WHAT ABOUT THAT CAT ?

- BUT QUIETLY BRING IT OUT

  TO YOU.

 

EXCELLENT.

I DON'T THINK

 I CAN DO IT.

 

IT'S AGAINST THE RULES.

ONLY DOGS AND CATS

ALLOWED IN THE HOUSE.

 

IT'S A GOOD RULE,

BUT THIS IS BIGGER THAN RULES.

THIS IS LIFE AND DEATH.

 

- IT IS ?

- MM-HMM.  FOLLOW ME.

 

[ Duck ]  HELLO !

LOOK, THERE'S SOMETHING

YOU SHOULD KNOW.

 

- HUMANS EAT DUCKS !

- [ Gasps ]  I BEG YOUR PARDON ?

 

MOST DUCKS PREFER TO FORGET IT,

BUT THE FACT IS THAT HUMANS

LIKE TO EAT PLUMP DUCKS.

 

I DON'T THINK SO.

NOT THE BOSS.

NOT THE BOSS'S WIFE.

 

COME ON.

HUMANS DON'T EAT CATS.

WHY ?

 

- WELL, THEY'RE--

- THEY'RE INDISPENSABLE.

  THEY CATCH MICE.

 

HUMANS DON'T EAT ROOSTERS. WHY ?

THEY MAKE EGGS WITH THE HENS AND

WAKE UP EVERYONE IN THE MORNING.

 

I TRIED IT WITH THE HENS.

IT DIDN'T WORK.

 

SO I TURNED TO CROWING, AND LO !

I DISCOVER MY GIFT.

 

BUT NO SOONER DO I BECOME

INDISPENSABLE THAN THEY BRING IN

A MACHINE TO DO THE JOB !

 

[ Moaning ]

AH, THE TREACHERY OF IT !

 

A MECHANICAL ROOSTER !

OH, DEAR ME.

 

OH, DEAR YOU ?

[ Sighing ]

 

I SUPPOSE THE LIFE

OF AN ANOREXIC DUCK...

 

DOESN'T AMOUNT TO MUCH

IN THE BROAD SCHEME OF THINGS.

 

BUT, PIG,

 

I'M ALL I'VE GOT.

 

WHY DO YOU NEED ME

TO DO IT ?

 

[ Groans ]

I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS.

OH.

 

THEY MAKE ME SNEEZE.

 

AHH.

 

DON'T WORRY.

I WON'T WAKE THE CAT.

 

MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS.

 

OH, DEAR.

[ Grunting ]

 

OH, NO !

 

[ Door Squeaking ]

 

[ Sniffing ]

 

[ Purring ]

 

AH, BOY.

[ Grunting ]

 

[ Spoon Clatters ]

 

[ Quietly Growls ]

 

[ Muffled Quacking ]

NO, NO, NO !

 

[ Tapping At Window ]

 

YOUR FOOT, YOUR FOOT !

TAKE THE STRING OFF

YOUR FOOT.

 

WAIT, WAIT.

LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.

STOP.  TURN AROUND--

 

SHH.

 

NO, NO !

THE OTHER WAY !  TURN--

 

NO, STOP !  OH !

[ Quacking ]

 

STOP !

 STOP, STOP, STOP !

 

DON'T, DON'T, STUPID.

GO OUTSIDE... NOW.

 

- BUT YOU SAID

  YOU CAN'T DO WITHOUT ME.

- I CAN.  TRUST ME, I CAN.

 

ARE YOU SURE ?

YOU'RE POSITIVE ?

YES !

 

GO OUTSIDE

AND STAND GUARD.

OKAY.  GOOD IDEA.

 

[ Groaning ]

 

OH, BOY.

WANT SOMETHING DONE,

YOU GOTTA DO IT YOURSELF.

 

[ Ticking ]

 

HMM.

GUARD AGAINST WHAT ?

 

AHH !  AHH !

DON'T WORRY.

 

STICK WITH ME AND PLEASE,

I BEG YOU, NOT ONE MORE WORD.

 

ALL RIGHT.

 

[ Ticking ]

 

[ Gulps ]

 

AAH--

[ Gasping ]

 

DON'T SNEEZE, FERDIE.

 

- JUST HOLD YOUR BREATH.

- AHHH--

 

[ Alarm Ringing ]

 

[ Screeching, Clanging ]

 

[ Ferdinand Quacking ]

AH-CHOO !

 

"" [ Humming ]

 

"" [ Humming Continues ]

 

[ Meows ]

 

[ Gasping ]

 

[ Rex ]

IT WAS MY MISTAKE.  I WAS TRYING

TO LOOSEN THINGS UP A LITTLE.

 

BUT, NO.  TODAY PROVES

THAT IT DOESN'T WORK.

 

FROM NOW ON,

WE'LL ALL RESPECT THE RULES.

 

TO EACH CREATURE

ITS OWN DESTINY.

 

EVERY ANIMAL

IN ITS PROPER PLACE.

 

AND A PIG'S PROPER PLACE

IS UNDER THE OLD CART,

NOT IN THE BARN.

 

AND ABSOLUTELYNEVER

IN THE HOUSE.

 

IS THAT UNDERSTOOD ?

YES, SIR.

 

NOW, PIG, REGARDING

THE COMPANY YOU KEEP.

BEING YOUNG,

 

IT'S HARD TO DISCRIMINATE,

SO I'LL MAKE IT EASY FOR YOU.

 

I FORBID YOU TO TALK TO

OR CONSORT WITH...

 

THAT DUCK... EVER.

 

HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR ?

UH... WHAT'S "CONSORT" ?

 

IT MEANS, YOUNG MAN,

 

THAT YOU MUST NOT GO

ANYWHERE NEAR THAT DUCK.

 

AS FOR THE FUGITIVE DUCK,

WHEN HE SHOWS HIMSELF,

LET HIM KNOW THIS:

 

BEING A DUCK HE MUST BEHAVE

LIKE A DUCK.  NO MORE OF

THIS CROWING AND NONSENSE.

 

HE SHOULD ACCEPT WHAT HE IS

AND BE THANKFUL FOR IT.

 

- THAT GOES FOR ALL OF US.

- HERE, HERE !

 

[ Narrator ]

REX CONTINUED

LONG INTO THE NIGHT.

 

ELSEWHERE,

THERE WAS MORE TALK.

 

THE SUBJECT

WAS CHRISTMAS DINNER...

 

AND WHETHER THAT YEAR

THE MAIN COURSE WOULD BE

ROAST PORK...

 

OR DUCK A L'ORANGE.

 

AND PORK IS

A NICE, SWEET MEAT.

 

THEN THERE'S THE CRACKLING.

THAT ALWAYS ADDS INTEREST

AND TEXTURE.

 

[ Puppies Cheering ]

GET HIM !

 

GET THE PIG !

GET THE PIG !

GET THE PIG !

 

GET HIM !  GET HIM !

 

[ Whimpering ]

 

PSST !

[ Gasps ]

FERDINAND !

 

- EVERYONE'S BEEN LOOKING

  FOR YOU.

- SHH.  SHH.

 

- WHAT IS THIS PLACE ?

- WHAT'S HAPPENIN' OUT THERE ?

 

REX ISN'T VERY HAPPY.

BOY, ALL THESE NEW RULES !

 

I'M NOT ALLOWED TO--

OOPS.

 

NOT ALLOWED TO WHAT ?

[ Mumbling ]

 

- HUH ?

- [ Continues Mumbling ]

 

 [ Mrs. Hoggett ]  PIGGY !

WHAT ?  [ Stammering ]

YOU DIDN'T SEE ME, ALL RIGHT ?

 

AND I DIDN'T SEE YOU.

ALL RIGHT ?  OOPS.

 

"" [ Mice Singing An Aria

     In French ]

 

""

 

[ Narrator ]

THE TIME COMES

FOR ALL CREATURES...

 

WHEN CHILDHOOD ENDS...

 

AND THE DOORWAY OPENS

TO LIFE AS AN ADULT.

 

AND SO IT WAS

WITH FLY'S PUPS.

 

THOUGH THAT TIME

WAS ALL TOO SOON FOR FLY.

 

PUPPY, PUPPY, PUPPY.

COME ON.

 

[ Giggling ]

 

IN MY POCKET.

 

[ Mr. Hoggett Whistles ]

 

FLY ?

 

MAY I CALL YOU MOM ?

 

[ Narrator ]

AND SO IT WAS THAT THE PIG...

 

FOUND HIS PLACE

IN THE WORLD OF THE FARM.

 

AND HE WAS HAPPY,

EVEN IN HIS DREAMS.

 

[ Car Horn Honks ]

 

[ Dogs Barking ]

 

HELLO !

FOLKS, HOW ARE YOU ?

MERRY CHRISTMAS !

 

[ Screams ]

 

[ Mrs. Hoggett ]

HOW'S MY FAVORITE GIRL ?

 

NANNY'S GOT

A JELLYBEAN.

 

GIVE US A KISS.

 

GUESS WHAT WE'RE HAVING

FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER.

 

ROAST PORK.

[ Child ]

I HATE PORK.

 

DARN SILLY CARRY-ON,

IF YOU ASK ME.

 

THE CATS SAYS

 THEY CALL IT CHRISTMAS.

 

CHRISTMAS !

 CHRISTMAS DINNER, YEAH.

 

DINNER MEANS DEATH.

 

DEATH MEANS CARNAGE !

CHRISTMAS MEANS CARNAGE !

 

CHRISTMAS MEANS CARNAGE !

[ Quacking ]

 

OOOH.

 

[ Giggling ]

 

- [ Giggling Continues ]

- YES !

 

WAIT.

 

EATIN' PIGS !

BLAAH !  BARBARIANS !

 

YOU'RE GOIN' BACK

TO THE FIELDS, MAA.

 

OH, YOUNG'UN,

TRAGIC THERE AIN'T MORE

OF YOUR KIND.

 

- I'LL BE THINKIN' OF YA ALWAYS.

- I COULD COME VISIT YOU.

 

I'D LIKE THAT, BUT--

[ Clears Throat ]

 

WELL, WE SHOULDN'T HOPE

FOR TOO MUCH.  OOH !

 

[ Bleats ]

 

[ "Jingle Bells" ]

" LA-LA-LA 

  LA-LA-LA "

 

" LA-LA-LA

   LA-LA "

 

" LA-LA-LA 

   LA-LA-LA-LA "

 

" LA-LA-LA 

  LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, HEY "

 

[ Narrator ]

AND SO, IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE.

 

AND TIME HAD RUN OUT

FOR THE PIG.

 

ARE YOU DOING HIM

TONIGHT THEN ?

MMM.

 

GOOD.

THE BLOOD'LL DRAIN

BY MORNING.

 

PITY.

WHAT'S THAT ?

 

NOTHIN'.

 

WHAT ON EARTH

ARE YOU BABBLING ON ABOUT ?

 

SHAME TO MISS OUT ON

THE BEST HAM PRIZE AT

NEXT YEAR'S FAIR, IS ALL.

 

NICE PLUMP HAUNCHES

HE'S GETTIN'.

 

BEAUTIFUL.

STILL...

 

SILLY TO WAIT,

I SUPPOSE.

 

[ Mrs. Hoggett And Family ]

" AWAY IN A MANGER "

 

" NO CRIB FOR A BED "

 

" THE LITTLE LORD JESUS "

 

" LAY DOWN HIS SWEET HEAD "

 

[ Footsteps ]

 

[ Footsteps Continue ]

 

[ Quacking ]

[ Knife Thumping ]

 

"" [ Singing Continues ]

 

" BLESS ALL

  THE DEAR CHILDREN "

 

" IN YOUR TENDER CARE "

 

" AND FIT US FOR HEAVEN "

 

" TO LIVE WITH YOU THERE ""

 

[ Mrs. Hoggett ]

HERE IT IS !

 

THE BIRD.

YUCK.

CHICKEN ?

 

NO,

IT'S DUCK A L'ORANGE.

 

AND, MOTHER, IT LOOKS

ABSOLUTELY SUPERB.

 

[ Girl ]  I'M NOT GOING

TO EAT ANY OF IT !

THIS IS FABULOUS.

 

FERDINAND !

 

IF YOU'RE OUT HERE,

WHO'S THAT IN THERE ?

 

HER NAME'S ROSANNA.

 

[ Ferdinand ]

WHY ROSANNA ?

 

SHE HAD SUCH

A BEAUTIFUL NATURE.

OH, FERDINAND.

 

I CAN'T TAKE IT

ANYMORE.

REALLY !

 

THE FEAR'S TOO MUCH

FOR A DUCK.

IT EATS AWAY AT THE SOUL.

 

THERE MUST BE KINDER

DISPOSITIONS IN

FAR-OFF GENTLER LANDS.

 

THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL FIND

HAPPINESS IS TO ACCEPT...

 

THAT THE WAY THINGS ARE

IS THE WAY THINGS ARE.

 

THE WAY THINGS ARE STINKS !

I'M NOT GONNA BE A GONER.

I'M GONE.

 

I WISH ALL OF YOU

THE BEST OF LUCK.

 

[ Panting ]

WHERE WILL YOU GO ?

NO IDEA.

 

BUT I'M A CLEVER DUCK.

I COULD DO WITH AN ADVENTURE.

 

I'LL MISS YOU, FERDIE.

FERDIE ?  NO ONE'S EVER

CALLED ME THAT BEFORE.

 

HEY, GOOD LUCK, PIG.

HUH ?

 

I AM OUTTA HERE.

BYE, BYE.

 

[ Groaning ]

OW !  WOULD YOU DO ME

A FAVOR, PIG ?

 

- ANYTHING.

- OPEN THE GATE, HUH ?

 

AH !  AH !  AHH !

HA-HA-HA !  WHOA !

 

[ Sheep Bleating Excitedly ]

 

[ Narrator ]

THE PIG KNEW IT WAS AGAINST

THE RULES TO LEAVE THE FARM.

 

BUT SOMETHING

WAS DEFINITELY WRONG.

 

HOW LOVELY, DARLING.

WHAT IS IT ?

 

IT'S A FAX MACHINE.

YOU CAN SEND US LETTERS

BY PHONE.

 

HMM.

OH.

 

[ Narrator ]

AT ANY OTHER TIME, THE PIG

WOULD'VE BEEN TICKLED PINK...

 

BY HIS FIRST VISIT

TO THE SHEEP FIELDS.

 

BUT NOW

THERE WAS FEAR IN THE AIR.

 

MAA AND HER KIND

WERE UNDER THREAT.

 

[ Barking ]

 

HEY, FRANK, FEEL LIKE PORK

FOR DINNER TONIGHT ?

 

- YOUNG'UN, YOU'RE ALIVE !

- MAA !

 

WHAT'S HAPPENING ?

WHO ARE THESE MEN ?

 

I'LL GET HIM OUT.

COME AROUND, SNIFF !

[ Whistles ]

 

WHERE'S OUR BOSS ?

IT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT.

 

[ Crying ]

 

WHAT'S WRONG, DEAR ?

IT'S THE WRONG ONE !

 

I WANT THE HOUSE I SAW

ON THE TELEVISION !

 

OH, THERE, THERE.

 

[ Squealing ]

 

[ Barking ]

 

[ Barking ]

 

GET !  QUICK !

 GET THE DOG IN.

[ Whistles ]

 

OUT OF THE SHEEP !

COME ON !

 

LET'S GO !

 

[ Barking ]

 

GOOD DOG.

 

GOOD PIG.

 

OOOH.

 

[ Fireworks Exploding ]

[ Together ]

OOOH !

 

HEY, HEY.  DAD SAYS

HIS LITTLE PORKER'S A WATCH PIG.

DEARIE ME !

 

IF IT'S NOT A DUCK

THAT THINKS IT'S A ROOSTER,

 

IT'S A PIG

THAT THINKS IT'S A DOG !

[ Laughing ]

 

A PIG THAT THINKS

IT'S A DOG !

 

"" [ Mice Singing ]

 

" BLUE MOON

  YOU SAW ME STANDING ALONE "

 

" WITHOUT A DREAM IN MY HEART

   WITHOUT A LOVE OF MY OWN "

 

" BLUE MOON, YOU KNEW

  JUST WHAT I WAS THERE FOR ""

 

[ Mice ]

A PIG THAT THINKS IT'S A DOG !

[ Laughing ]

 

[ Mrs. Hoggett ]

A WASHING MACHINE, A RADIO,

A NEW ALARM CLOCK.

 

I THINK IT'S A LOVELY

FAX MACHINE, DARLING,

BUT CAN'T YOU USE IT ?

 

WE ALREADY HAVE ONE, MOM.

THAT'S THE WHOLE IDEA.

 

WE CAN SEND FAXES

TO EACH OTHER.

 

DON'T BE AFRAID OF IT

JUST BECAUSE IT'S NEW.

 

THESE ACCOUNTS ARE

A REAL WORRY, ARTHUR.

 

EVERY MONTH YOUR EXPENDITURE

IS GREATER THAN YOUR INCOME.

 

IT'S EATING UP YOUR RESERVES.

 

YOU NEED TO MODERNIZE, GET

SOME SORT OF CASH FLOW GOING.

 

YOU'RE STILL USING

A HORSE AND CART,

FOR GOD'S SAKES.

 

DAD ?

FUNNY, THAT.

 

- WHAT ?

- THOSE CHICKENS, THAT PIG.

 

WHAT'S THE PIG

GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING ?

 

NOTHING.

 

JUST LOOK AT THEM.

THE BROWNS AND THE WHITES.

 

[ Clears Throat ]

 

[ Chuckles ]

 

COME, REX.

 COME, FLY.

 

COME, PIG.

 

COME, PIG !

 

[ Fly ]

PERHAPS HE'S PLEASED WITH YOU

FOR WHAT YOU DID YESTERDAY.

 

[ Babe ]

I DIDN'T DO MUCH.

IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, DEAR,

 

THEY COULD'VE STOLEN

THE WHOLE FLOCK.

 

IS REX UNHAPPY WITH ME ?

OH, HE'LL BE

ALL RIGHT.

 

JUST STAY OUT

OF HIS WAY TODAY.

 

WAY TO BE, FLY.

REX, COME BY.

 

[ Whistles ]

 

THAT'LL DO.

 

YOU'RE SO QUICK.

I'D NEVER BE ABLE TO FLY

LIKE YOU CAN.

 

PIGS AREN'T BUILT

TO FLY, DEAR.

 

BUT SPEED ISN'T THE THING.

IT'S ATTITUDE.

 

THEY JUST HAVE TO KNOW

WHO'S BOSS.

 

OUT YOU GO.

 

[ Crunching ]

MMM !

 

[ Whimpering ]

 

GET 'EM UP, PIG.

 

- HE WANTS YOU TO DRIVE THEM

  OUT OF THE YARD.

- AWAY TO ME, PIG.

 

REMEMBER, YOU HAVE

TO DOMINATE THEM.

 

DO THAT AND THEY'LL DO

ANYTHING YOU WANT.  GO.

 

WOOF !

 

WOOF, WOOF, WOOF !

[ Laughing ]

 

WOOF !  WOOF !

 WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF !

 

[ Sheep Laughing ]

 

[ Laughing Continues ]

WOOF, WOOF, WOOF !

 

THIS IS RIDICULOUS,

MOM.

 

NONSENSE.

IT'S ONLY YOUR FIRST TRY.

 

BUT YOU'RE TREATING THEM

LIKE EQUALS.  THEY'RE SHEEP.

THEY'RE INFERIOR.

 

- AH, NO THEY'RE NOT.

- OF COURSE THEY ARE !

 

 WE ARE THEIR MASTERS.

 LET THEM DOUBT IT FOR A SECOND

 AND THEY'LL WALK ALL OVER YOU.

 

-FLY, GET THAT PIG OUT OF THERE.

-MAKE THEM FEEL INFERIOR.

 ABUSE THEM.  INSULT THEM.

 

BUT THEY'LL LAUGH AT ME.

THEN BITE THEM.

 

BE RUTHLESS.

WHATEVER IT TAKES.

BEND THEM TO YOUR WILL.

 

- ENOUGH !

- GO ON !  GO !

 

MOVE ALONG THERE,

YOU--

 

YOU, UH,

BIG BUTT HEADS !

 

[ Laughing ]

 

[ Growling ]

 

- OW !

- YOUNG'UN, STOP THIS NONSENSE.

 

WHAT'S GOT INTO YOU ?

I JUST FINISHED TELLIN'

WHAT A NICE YOUNG PIG YOU BE.

 

MAA, I WAS JUST TRYING

TO BE A SHEEPDOG.

 

HAH !  ENOUGH WOLVES

IN THE WORLD ALREADY...

 

WITHOUT A NICE LAD LIKE YOU

TURNIN' NASTY.

 

YOU HAVEN'T GOT IT IN YA,

YOUNG'UN.

 

YOU AND I ARE DESCENDED

FROM THE GREAT SHEEPDOGS.

 

WE CARRY THE BLOODLINE

OF THE ANCIENT BAHOU.

 

WE STAND FOR SOMETHING.

 

AND TODAY I WATCHED IN SHAME

AS ALL THAT WAS BETRAYED.

 

- REX, HE'S JUST A LITTLE PIG.

- ALL THE GREATER THE INSULT.

 

I'M SORRY I BIT YOU.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ?

 

I WOULDN'T CALL THAT A BITE,

MYSELF.  YOU GOT TEETH IN

THAT FLOPPY MOUTH OR JUST GUMS ?

 

[ Laughing ]

 

YOU SEE, LADIES,

A HEART OF GOLD.

 

[ Sheep Together ]

AHH.  HEART OF GOLD.

 

NO NEED FOR ALL THIS

WOLF NONSENSE, YOUNG'UN.

 

ALL A NICE PIG LIKE YOU

NEED DO IS ASK.

 

[ Barking ]

 

THANKS VERY MUCH.

IT WAS VERY KIND OF YOU.

 

A PLEASURE.

WHAT A NICE LITTLE PIG !

 

ALL RIGHT,

HOW DID YOU DO IT ?

 

I ASKED THEM,

AND THEY DID IT.

I ASKED THEM NICELY.

 

WE DON'T ASK SHEEP, DEAR.

 WE TELL THEM WHAT TO DO.

 

I DID, MOM.

THEY WERE REALLY FRIENDLY.

 

MAYBE REX MIGHT BE

A LITTLE MORE FRIENDLY

IF I HAD A TALK WITH HIM.

 

NO, NO, NO.

YOU BETTER LEAVE THAT TO ME.

 

REX ?

 

I KNOW IT WAS HARD

FOR YOU TODAY...

 

WATCHING ALL THAT HAPPENING.

 

BUT SURELY IT'S NOT WORTH

ALL THIS MISERY.

 

PLEASE, DEAR,

NOT ON SUCH A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.

 

YOU PUT THESE IDEAS

INTO HIS HEAD !

 

TWO-FACED TRAITOROUS WRET--

 

[ Growling, Snarling ]

 

GET DOWN !

 

DOWN, REX.

FLY !

 

[ Snarling ]

 

[ Whimpers ]

 

[ Narrator ]

A DARK CLOUD

HAD DESCENDED ON THE VALLEY.

 

AND THE PIG FELT THAT

THE TROUBLES WERE ALL HIS FAULT.

 

BUT HE WAS CERTAIN

THAT HE KNEW HOW

TO PUT THINGS RIGHT AGAIN.

 

OH, UH,

E-EXCUSE ME, SIR.

 

BUT I-I-I THINK

ALL THIS TROUBLE--

 

- [ Snarling, Growling ]

- [ Squealing ]

 

[ Vet ]

WELL, IT'S NOT DISTEMPER.

CAN'T BE RABIES.

 

MUST BE THE HORMONES.

 

WHAT ABOUT HOGGETT'S NOTION,

THE DOG JEALOUS OF THE WEE PIG ?

I DON'T SEE THAT MYSELF.

 

[ Mrs. Hoggett ]

NO.  SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO ?

 

YOU CAN KEEP HIM LOCKED UP

OR... SNIP, SNIP.

I CAN DO IT TUESDAY.

 

NO.

 

OR WEDNESDAY.

 

HOGGETT DOESN'T WANT

THE DOG OPERATED ON.

HE'S A BREEDING DOG.

 

I CAN SEDATE HIM,

OF COURSE,

 

BUT HE'LL BE USELESS

AS A WORKING DOG.

 

[ Groans ]

[ Vet ]  I'LL GIVE YOU PILLS

TO PUT IN HIS FOOD.

 

GOOD DOG.

 

[ Together ]

THE SHEEP PIG.

 

[ Bleating ]

 

[ Sighs ]

 

[ Oinks ]

 

[ Narrator ]

A PIG DOING THE WORK

OF A SHEEPDOG ?

 

WITH REX OUT OF ACTION

AND FLY INJURED FROM THE FIGHT,

FARMER HOGGETT HAD NO CHOICE.

 

MAA !  MAA !  THE BOSS HAS

TO GIVE YOU SOME MEDICINE.

 

OH, DEAR, I THOUGHT SO !

IT'S HORRIBLE STUFF, THAT.

 

- I KNOW,

  BUT IT'S FOR THE BEST.

- YOUNG'UN, IF YOU SAY SO.

 

SHOO !  SHOO !

 

[ Narrator ]

WHEN THE THOUGHT

FIRST CAME TO HIM,

 

FARMER HOGGETT DISMISSED IT

AS MERE WHIMSY.

 

BUT, LIKE MOST

OF HIS HAREBRAINED IDEAS,

IT WOULDN'T GO AWAY.

 

[ Babe ]

WHAT ARE THEY DOING ?

[ Fly ]  IT'S A SHEEPDOG TRIAL.

 

[ Babe ]

SO IT'S LIKE A COMPETITION

FOR SHEEPDOGS ?

 

[ Fly ]

AND THEIR BOSSES.

IT'S LIKE AN OBSTACLE COURSE.

 

HOW DO THEY DECIDE

WHO WINS ?

 

IT'S TIME AND MISTAKES.

YOU GET POINTS

FOR HOW QUICK YOU ARE.

 

AND THEY TAKE POINTS OFF

FOR EVERY MISTAKE.

 

EVERY TIME A SHEEP GOES

THE WRONG WAY, THAT'S A MISTAKE

AND YOU LOSE POINTS.

 

- LOOKS LIKE FUN !

- FOR A SHEEPDOG,

  THERE'S NO PROUDER MOMENT.

 

- REX AND I USED TO--

- HMM ?

 

NEVER MIND.

 

OH.

 

[ Babe ]

WAS REX A CHAMPION ?

 

[ Fly ]  HE HAD THE MAKINGS

OF THE GREATEST CHAMPION THERE

EVER WAS, BUT IT WASN'T TO BE.

 

[ Babe ]  WHAT HAPPENED ?

[ Fly ]  A WHILE BACK

WHEN REX WAS IN HIS PRIME,

 

THE WINTER RAINS BROUGHT

A GREAT FLOOD TO THE VALLEY.

 

REX AND THE BOSS GOT MOST OF

THE FLOCK ONTO THE HIGH GROUND.

 

THEN REX WENT BACK

TO LOOK FOR THE STRAYS.

 

HE FOUND THEM.

THEY'D BEEN STRANDED

BY THE RISING WATER.

 

HE TRIED TO HERD THEM

ACROSS TO SAFETY,

BUT THEY WOULDN'T BUDGE.

 

TOO AFRAID AND TOO STUPID

TO SAVE THEIR OWN SKINS.

 

IT WAS FREEZING COLD

AND THE WATER KEPT RISING.

 

REX STAYED WITH THEM

RIGHT THROUGH THE NIGHT.

 

BY MORNING,

THE SHEEP WERE DROWNED.

 

AND WHEN THEY FOUND REX,

HE WAS BARELY ALIVE.

[ Babe ]  OH, MOM !

 

[ Fly ]  TWO WEEKS REST

IN FRONT OF THE FIRE

SAW HIM BACK ON HIS FEET.

 

BUT HIS HEARING

WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN.

 

HE'D NEVER WANT

ANYONE TO KNOW, BUT

HE'S ALMOST TOTALLY DEAF.

 

IS THAT WHY HE'S SO,

YOU KNOW, ANGRY ?

THAT'S NOT THE HALF OF IT.

 

[ Fly ]  ALL THIS WAS BARELY

A MONTH BEFORE THE

GRAND NATIONAL CHALLENGE.

 

HE TRIED HIS BEST, BUT HE

COULDN'T HEAR THE BOSS'S CALLS,

AND IT SLOWED HIM UP.

 

THE COLD TRUTH IS THAT,

BUT FOR THE STUPIDITY OF SHEEP,

 

REX WOULD'VE BEEN

THE CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS.

 

GOOD DOG.

 

[ Haing ]

 

THAT'S IT, ALL RIGHT.

GOOD.

 

[ Hoggett ]

HERE WE GO.  ALL RIGHT.

 

NOW, THROUGH HERE LIKE THIS.

 

AND THEN, BIG HOOK TO THE LEFT.

BIG HOOK.

 

BIG HOOK.

THROUGH THIS GATE HERE.

 

[ Narrator ]  IT WAS AT THAT

TIME THAT MRS. HOGGETT BEGAN

TO WORRY ABOUT HER HUSBAND.

 

BUT FARMER HOGGETT KNEW

THAT LITTLE IDEAS...

 

THAT TICKLED AND NAGGED

AND REFUSED TO GO AWAY...

 

SHOULD NEVER BE IGNORED...

 

FOR IN THEM LIE

THE SEEDS OF DESTINY.

 

CLOSE THE GATE LIKE THAT,

AND YOU'RE DONE.

 

A TRAGIC DAY.

 

MOM.  MOM !

CAN WE START WORK EARLY TODAY ?

 

OH, DEAR,

IT'S NOT EVEN DAWN YET.

 

YOU CAN GO TO WORK

WHEN THE ROOSTER CROWS.

OH, GO BACK TO SLEEP.

 

[ Sighs ]

 

AHEM.

 

 UM, EXCUSE ME.

 

HELLO, SIR.  EXCUSE ME,

BUT IT'S NEARLY DAWN, AND--

 

[ Mumbling ]

WHAT ?

SORRY TO DISTURB YOU.

 

IT'S NEARLY DAWN, AND I WONDERED

IF YOU'D MIND CROWING JUST A

FEW MINUTES EARLY THIS MORNING.

 

- GET OUT OF HERE !

- BUT, WELL, SEE I--

 

- GET LOST !

- OH, OKAY.

 

WHOA !

[ Groans ]

 

[ Bleating ]

 

[ Bleating ]

 

[ Bleating, Barking ]

 

[ Narrator ]  NOW THE PIG

UNDERSTOOD WHY THE SHEEP

CALLED ALL DOGS WOLVES.

 

AND HE WAS FILLED WITH

A DEEP AND TERRIBLE RAGE.

 

- [ Whimpering ]

- [ Barking ]

 

[ Maa Groaning ]

 

[ Groaning ]

 

MAA !  MAA !

 

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ?

HELLO, YOUNG'UN.

 

OH, MAA,

CAN YOU GET UP ?

 

I DON'T RECKON.

 

IT'S OVER, MAA.

THE WOLVES HAVE GONE FAR AWAY.

 

I'LL GET THE BOSS UP HERE

TO LOOK AFTER YOU.

 

YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

 YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT !

[ Groaning ]

 

OH, MAA !  MAA !

[ Crying ]

 

MAA !  MAA !

 

MAA !

 

[ Sheep Bleating ]

MAA !

 

[ Sighs ]

 

HOME, PIG.

 

[ Narrator ]

FLY KNEW THAT THERE WAS ONLY

ONE FATE FOR ANY CREATURE...

 

THAT TOOK THE LIFE OF A SHEEP

ON HOGGETT FARM.

 

BUT FLY COULD NEVER BELIEVE

THAT BABE WAS A SHEEP KILLER,

 

SO SHE REMAINED IN THE FIELD

TO DO SOMETHING SHE'D NEVER

DONE BEFORE: TALK TO THE SHEEP.

 

TELL ME.

WHO KILLED THE OLD ONE ?

 

- WOLF !

- WOLF.  IS THAT THE ONLY WORDS

  YOU HALF-WITS KNOW ?

 

- WOLF !

- ARE YOU SAYING IT WAS A DOG ?

 

- WHERE'S BABE ?

- WAS IT WOLF OR BABE ?

 

[ Shouting ]

WOLF !  BABE !

 

[ Narrator ]  FARMER HOGGETT

WAS CARRYING SOMETHING

IN THE CROOK OF ONE ARM.

 

A KIND OF BLACK, SHINY TUBE.

 

COME, PIG.

 

[ Narrator ]

THE PIG HAD A VAGUE MEMORY

THAT SHINY TUBES PRODUCED FOOD,

 

AND GUESSED THAT SOME

QUITE UNEXPECTED SURPRISE...

 

WOULD COME OUT

OF TWO SMALL ROUND MOUTHS.

 

[ Shouting ]

BABE !  WOLF !

 

[ Shouting ]

BABE !  WOLF !

 

QUIET !

 

[ Narrator ]

FLY DECIDED TO SPEAK

VERY SLOWLY,

 

FOR IT WAS A COLD FACT OF NATURE

THAT SHEEP WERE STUPID...

 

AND NO ONE WOULD EVER

PERSUADE HER OTHERWISE.

 

PLEASE, PLEASE

WOULD YOU BE...

 

SO KIND AS TO TELL ME

WHAT HAPPENED ?

 

QUIET !

 

PLEASE, TELL ME

WHAT HAPPENED THIS MORNING.

 

[ Narrator ]

THE SHEEP SPOKE VERY SLOWLY...

 

FOR IT WAS

A COLD FACT OF NATURE

THAT WOLVES WERE IGNORANT...

 

AND NOTHING WOULD

CONVINCE THEM OTHERWISE.

 

BABE CAME !

HE SAVED US !

 

- THE WOLVES KILLED MAA.

- BUT BABE DROVE

  THE WOLVES AWAY !

 

THANK YOU !  THANK YOU !

 THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH !

 

PLEASURE TALKIN'

TO YA.

 

[ Barking ]

 

[ Barking ]

 

HOOEY !  HOGGETT !

 HOOEY !  ARTHUR !

 

[ Barking ]

 

OH, THERE YOU ARE !

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK ?

 

THAT WAS THE POLICE

ON THE TELEPHONE.

SAID THERE ARE WILD DOGS ABOUT.

 

APPARENTLY THE MITCHELLS

LOST SIX LAMBS THIS MORNING.

 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WITH THAT GUN ?

 

OH, I--

NOTHING.

 

[ Sighs ]

 

[ Mice ]

PIG OF DESTINY !

 

IT'S ALL VERY SIMPLE.

HALF AN HOUR AT 350 DEGREES.

 

I'VE GIVEN YOU

RABBIT CASSEROLE FOR FRIDAY.

 

NOW, FOR DUCHESS,

IT'S LIVER IN THE MORNING,

HEART FOR THE EVENING.

 

EXCEPT FRIDAYS, WHEN

IT'S STEAK IN THE MORNING,

AND COOKED LIVER AT NIGHT.

 

WARM IT UP A BIT BUT TEST IT,

BECAUSE SHE BITES INTO

IT BEFORE SHE KNOWS WHAT'S WHAT.

 

THAT'LL BE THE BUS.

 

OH, BYE, BYE.

HAVE A GOOD TIME.

BYE.

 

HELLO, EVERYONE !

 

OH, DEARIE ME, VALDA.

 

I KNOW I HAVE TO BE

AT THE NATIONAL CONFERENCE.

 

I AM THE ASSISTANT

GENERAL SECRETARY OF THE

NORTHEAST REGION AFTER ALL,

 

BUT I DO WORRY ABOUT

LEAVING THAT MAN ALONE.

 

STILL ACTING

A BIT STRANGE ?

JUST SILLY THINGS.

 

ODD LITTLE THINGS

ONLY A WIFE WOULD NOTICE.

 

STILL HE CAN'T GET UP TO TOO

MUCH MISCHIEF IN THREE DAYS.

OF COURSE NOT.

 

[ Whistles ]

 

GO ON.

 

GO ON !

 

[ Meows ]

 

- OH !  GOOD EVENING.

  SHAME ABOUT THE WEATHER.

- [ Hisses ]

 

NASTY COUGH !

 

[ Narrator ]

IT HAD BEEN A LONG TIME

SINCE ARTHUR HOGGETT...

 

HAD HAD AN ANIMAL

IN WHOSE ABILITIES

HE HAD SO MUCH FAITH.

 

AND WITH THE NATIONAL GRAND

CHALLENGE SHEEPDOG TRIALS

ONLY TWO DAYS AWAY,

 

HE WASN'T GOING TO LET THE FACT

THAT HIS ANIMAL WAS A PIG

DETER HIM.

 

HE HAD BEEN WORRIED,

FOR HE WAS A TRUTHFUL MAN,

 

THAT THE HEADING MIGHT SAY

"NAME OF DOG."

 

AND THEN WHATEVER HE PUT

WOULD BE A LIE.

 

BUT AS IT HAPPENED,

LUCK... FOR THE MOMENT,

WAS RUNNING WITH HIM.

 

IT'S ALL RIGHT, REALLY !

 

I'M JUST, WELL--

BLESS YOU.

[ Hisses ]

 

[ Screeching ]

 

[ Meowing ]

 

[ Meowing ]

 

WHOA, WHOA !

UH, EASY, WHOA !  AH.

 

OH, NO.

 

SO, AH...

WHAT'S HAPPENING ?

[ Cow ]  OH, NO.

 

SHH.  EASY, EASY.

 

GOOD PIG.

 GOOD PIG.

HUH ?  HUH ?

 

HOLD STILL.

 HOLD STILL.

 

HUH ?

 

[ Laughing ]

 

[ Narrator ]

THERE ARE MANY PERFECTLY

NICE CATS IN THE WORLD.

 

BUT EVERY BARREL

HAS ITS BAD APPLES.

 

AND IT IS WELL TO HEED

THE OLD ADAGE,

 

"BEWARE THE BAD CAT

 BEARING A GRUDGE."

 

[ Thunderclaps ]

 

"" [ TV:

     "Cantique De Jean Racine" ]

 

""

 

"" [ Singing Continues ]

 

[ Loud Thunderclap ]

 

HOW ARE

YOU FEELING ?

A BIT TIRED.

 

YOU'LL NEED A GOOD SLEEP

TO PUT YOU

IN TOP CONDITION TOMORROW.

 

DON'T STAY UP TOO LATE.

GOOD NIGHT.

 

[ Yawns ]

GOOD NIGHT, MOM.

 

OH, DO FORGIVE ME

FOR SCRATCHING YOU, DEAR.

 

I GOT A BIT CARRIED AWAY.

IT'S A CAT THING.

 

OH.  WELL--

[ Chuckles ]

BUT OH--

 

FEELING GOOD ABOUT TOMORROW,

ARE YOU ?

 

MM-HMM.

IT SHOULD BE ALL RIGHT,

I THINK.

 

I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T

SAY THIS, BUT I'M

NOT SURE IF YOU REALIZE...

 

HOW MUCH THE OTHER ANIMALS

ARE LAUGHING AT YOU

FOR THIS SHEEPDOG BUSINESS.

 

WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT ?

 

WELL, THEY SAY THAT

YOU'VE FORGOTTEN THAT YOU'RE

A PIG.  ISN'T THAT SILLY ?

 

THEY EVEN SAY THAT YOU

DON'T KNOW WHAT PIGS ARE FOR.

 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?

 

YOU KNOW...

WHY PIGS ARE HERE.

WHY ARE ANY OF US HERE ?

 

WELL, THE COW'S HERE

TO BE MILKED.

 

THE DOGS ARE HERE

TO HELP THE BOSS'S HUSBAND

WITH THE SHEEP.

 

AND I'M HERE TO BE BEAUTIFUL

AND AFFECTIONATE TO THE BOSS.

 

YES ?

[ Sighs ]

 

THE FACT IS THAT PIGS

DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE.

 

JUST LIKE DUCKS

DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE.

 

I DON'T--

ALL RIGHT, FOR YOU OWN SAKE,

I'LL BE BLUNT.

 

WHY DO THE BOSSES KEEP DUCKS ?

TO EAT THEM.

 

SO WHY DO THE BOSSES

KEEP A PIG ?

 

THE FACT IS THAT ANIMALS THAT

DON'T SEEM TO HAVE A PURPOSE

REALLY DO HAVE A PURPOSE.

 

THE BOSSES HAVE TO EAT.

IT'S PROBABLY

THE MOST NOBLE PURPOSE OF ALL...

 

WHEN YOU COME

TO THINK ABOUT IT.

 

THEY EAT PIGS ?

 

PORK, THEY CALL IT.

OR BACON.

 

THEY ONLY CALL THEM PIGS

WHEN THEY'RE ALIVE.

 

BUT, UH, I'M A SHEEP PIG !

 

[ Chuckles ]

 

THE BOSS'S HUSBAND'S JUST

PLAYING A LITTLE GAME WITH YOU.

 

BELIEVE ME, SOONER OR LATER,

EVERY PIG GETS EATEN.

 

THAT'S THE WAY

THE WORLD WORKS.

 

OH !  I HAVEN'T UPSET YOU,

HAVE I ?

[ Chuckles ]

 

[ Whimpers ]

 

MOM ?

MM-HMM.

 

MOM !

GOOD HEAVENS !

 

WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING

OUT IN THE RAIN ?

 

YOU SHOULD BE LOOKING

AFTER YOURSELF WITH SUCH

A BIG DAY AHEAD OF YOU.

 

- ARE PIGS FOR EATIN' ?

- [ Gasps ]

  WHO TOLD YOU THAT ?

 

THE CAT TOLD ME.

PIGS DON'T HAVE A PURPOSE

EXCEPT TO BE EATEN.

 

IS IT TRUE ?

 

IT'S TRUE.

FOR MANY PIGS, IT'S TRUE.

 

SO MY MOTHER, MY FATHER,

MY BROTHERS AND MY SISTERS,

 

ALL--

PROBABLY, DEAR.

 

DO YOU WANT

TO TALK ABOUT IT ?

NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

 

I UNDERSTAND.

I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

 

EVEN... THE BOSS ?

 

YES, DEAR.

 

[ Sighs ]

 

[ Ferdinand Quacking,

  Squawking ]

 

OOH !  OOO !

[ Quacking ]

 

BABE ?

 

BABE !

 

[ Fly ]

BABE !

 

BABE !

 

BABE !

 

BABE'S RUN AWAY.

 

REX ?

 

PLEASE ?

 

CALL THE BOSS.

 

[ Barking ]

 

[ Barking ]

 

[ Barks ]

[ Barking ]

 

[ Quivering, Sniffing ]

 

HE'S OVER HERE.

 

HOLD ON, PIG,

YOU'LL BE HOME SOON.

 

[ Quivering ]

 

HE'S GOT A COLD,

BUT THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN

A PIG NOT EATING.

 

HE'S GOT ME STONKERED,

ARTHUR.

BUT I CAN TELL YOU THIS.

 

IF YOU DON'T GET FLUIDS

INTO HIM SOON,

YOU'RE GONNA LOSE HIM.

 

C'MON, SON.

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.

 

THE BOSS NEEDS YOU.

 

[ Door Closes ]

 

HERE WE GO.

 

COME ON, PIG.

AH, COME ON.

 

THERE'S MY BOY.

 

COME ON, THEN.

 COME ON.

 

" IF I HAD WORDS "

 

" TO MAKE A DAY FOR YOU "

 

" I'D SING YOU A MORNING "

 

" GOLDEN AND TRUE "

 

" I WOULD MAKE THIS DAY "

 

" LAST FOR ALL TIME "

 

" THEN FILL THE NIGHT "

 

" DEEP IN MOONSHINE "

 

" IF I HAD WORDS "

 

" TO MAKE A DAY FOR YOU "

 

" I'D GIVE YOU A MORNING

  GOLDEN AND TRUE "

 

" I WOULD MAKE

  THIS DAY "

 

" LAST FOR ALL TIME "

 

"" [ Humming ]

 

[ Shouts ]

 

- [ Moos ]

- [ Quacking ]

 

[ Clanking Noise ]

 

[ Munching Sounds ]

 

[ Man ]

LISTEN, ARTHUR,

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE CAN DO.

 

YOU'RE LISTED THIRD,

BUT WE CAN PUT YOU LAST

IN THE PROGRAM.

 

HOWEVER, YOU MUST BE HERE

BY 3:30; OTHERWISE

YOU'LL BE DISQUALIFIED.

 

ALL RIGHT.

 

AND WELCOME BACK TO

THE NATIONAL GRAND CHALLENGE

SHEEPDOG TRIALS...

 

COMING TODAY FROM

THE KINGSMITH SHOW GROUND

IN THE HEART OF SHEEP COUNTRY.

 

THE WEATHER'S BEEN PATCHY,

 

BUT WE'VE ALREADY SEEN

SOME WONDERFUL WORK

BY THESE TALENTED DOGS.

 

STAY THERE.

 

EXCUSE ME, SHEEP.

 

HELLO !  HELLO !

GOOD MORNING TO YOU ALL !

 

[ Bleats ]

 

I'VE NEVER MET A SHEEP

WITH SUCH A STRONG, DARK FACE.

 

ARE THEY

FEEDING YOU WELL ?

[ Bleats ]

 

BABE, I'LL TRY.

 

ALL RIGHT, BLOCKHEADS !

PAY ATTENTION OVER HERE !

 

NOW, YOU PAY ATTENTION

TO WHAT THIS PIG HAS TO SAY...

 

OR I'LL COME IN THERE

AND RIP YOU TO SHREDS !

 

HADN'T THOUGHT OF THIS.

KEEP TALKING TO THEM.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

 

DOESN'T IT LOOK A PICTURE ?

OUR SHOW GROUND ON THE TELLY !

APART FROM THE WEATHER.

 

LOOK !  THERE'S YOUR BERT !

[ TV Commentator ]  BERT FORD

AND SWEEP DOING VERY WELL.

 

SWEEP'S HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE

WITH THIS GATE, CLIVE.

A LOT OF TROUBLE ACTUALLY.

 

THAT'S GOING TO SET BERT BACK.

DON'T WORRY, VALDA.

JUST A LITTLE SLIPUP.

 

LOOK, HE'S DOING

MUCH BETTER NOW.

 

[ Commentator ]  TOO MANY

LOOSE SHEEP.  AND SWEEP'S

USUALLY SUCH A RELIABLE DOG.

 

HEY, WHOA.

STOP !

 

IF THOSE SHEEP WON'T TALK

TO BABE, THE BOSS IS GOING

TO LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.

 

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT TO DO.

THERE IS ONE THING.

 

I GOTTA GO !

I'LL TRY TO BE BACK IN TIME.

 

AHEM.  IT MUST'VE BEEN

TERRIBLE WEATHER FOR YOU,

 

OUT IN THE FIELD WITH

ALL THIS RAIN WE'VE BEEN HAVING.

[ Bleats ]

 

HEY, THAT DOG'S

IN A HURRY.

 

COME ON, NICK,

I GOT A BEER AND A TV WAITING.

 

[ P.A. Announcer ]

THE LAST ENTRY IS PIG.

OWNER, A. HOGGETT.

 

IS THAT HOGGETT ?

I THINK IT WAS !

 

HUH ?

HE SAID HOGGETT.

IT WAS CLEAR AS A BELL.

 

MUST BE ANOTHER HOGGETT.

WE ONLY HAVE THE TWO DOGS,

AND THEY CERTAINLY...

 

AREN'T--

 

[ Sighs ]

 

WOLF !  WOLF !

 

[ Sheep ]

WOLF !  WOLF !

 

SHUT UP, YOU MORONS !

 

THE LITTLE PIG'S IN TROUBLE.

 

WHAT TROUBLE HAS COME

TO OUR BABE, WOLF ?

 

THE SHEEP AT THE TRIALS

WON'T TALK

TO THE LITTLE FELLOW.

 

THEY WON'T LISTEN.

HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

 

DON'T KNOW WHAT

WE COULD DO TO HELP.

 

IT'S NOT RIGHT TO GIVE HELP

TO A WOLF.

YOU WAIT HERE, WOLF.

 

YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP.

I'M A...

LITTLE HARD OF HEARING.

 

I ASKED YOU

TO WAIT HERE, WOLF.

 

DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD

BY AN OLD SHEEP FOR A CHANGE.

 

WE'LL SEE

WHAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU.

 

WORK COMPLETED.

RESTORE POWER.

 

[ Commentator ]

VERY FRUSTRATING

TO BE SITTING UP HERE...

 

WONDERING

WHAT'S CAUSING THE DELAY.

 

WE HAVE SOMEONE ON THEIR WAY

TO THE JUDGES' ROOMS NOW.

 

WE'LL TELL YOU

WHAT'S CAUSING THE PROBLEM

AS SOON AS WE FIND OUT.

 

PERHAPS IT'S A DRUG TEST ?

YEAH, IT COULD BE.

 

[ Moos ]

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A DRUG TEST

AT A SHEEPDOG CONTEST BEFORE.

 

WE'VE GOT SOMETHIN' HERE

THAT MIGHT BE OF USE TO OUR PIG.

 

[ Sheep ]

PASSWORD !  PASSWORD !

 

BEFORE WE GIVES YOU ANYTHIN',

 

YOU'LL BE MAKIN' US

A SOLEMN PROMISE.

[ Rex ]  YES ?

 

TREAT US CIVIL !

YES !  YOU GOTTA TREAT US

NICE-LIKE.

 

I'LL TRY.

 

NO BITIN' !

THAT'S RIGHT.  WOLF

MUST AVOID BITIN' US SHEEP...

 

AT ALL COSTS !

ALL RIGHT !

I'LL TRY THAT TOO.

 

 IT'S PREPOSTEROUS !

 WE'D BE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF

 EVERY SHEEPDOG ORGANIZATION...

 

IN EVERY CIVILIZED COUNTRY

 IN THE WORLD !

THERE'S NO RULE--

 

WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT WHEN

THE ADJUDICATION COMMITTEE

HAVE FINISHED THEIR MEETING.

 

WHAT WILL WE HAVE NEXT YEAR,

A LAUGHING HYENA

DOING SHOW JUMPING ?

 

BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL,

YOU MUST PROMISE...

 

NEVER EVER TO LET THIS PASSWORD

WE BE ABOUT TO GIVE...

 

TO BE USED AGAINST

ANY SHEEP ANYWHERE.

 

I PROMISE YOU THAT.

I'LL MAKE SURE THE PIG

KNOWS IT TOO.

 

WE HAVE THE PROMISE !

'TIS FOR BABE.

 

MAA WOULD HAVE WANTED IT.

 

BAA, RAM, EWE.

 

[ Sheep ]

BAA, RAM, EWE.

 

TO YOUR BREED, YOUR FLEECE,

YOUR CLAN BE TRUE.

 

SHEEP BE TRUE.

BAA, RAM, EWE.

 

IS THAT IT ?

 IS THAT THE PASSWORD ?

 

[ Clapping In Unison ]

 

MR. HOGGETT,

THE JUDGES WOULD LIKE ME

TO CONVEY TO YOU...

 

THEIR DISAPPOINTMENT

THAT A MAN SUCH AS YOURSELF,

 

WITH A LONG AND HONORABLE

ASSOCIATION WITH THE WORK OF

NATIONAL SHEEPDOG ASSOCIATION,

 

SHOULD SEE FIT TO FLOUT...

 

THE HISTORIC CONVENTIONS

WHICH HAVE LONG RULED

OUR SPORT.

 

HOWEVER WE FIND THERE

IS NO RULE, AS SUCH,

 

WHICH WOULD PREVENT YOUR...

ANIMAL... BEING ENTERED.

 

 THE COMMITTEE HAS RULED

 THAT IF YOU WISH TO PROCEED,

 

THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO

TO STOP YOU.

 

WHAT DO YOU WISH

TO DO ?

 

[ Clapping Continues ]

 

[ Commentator ]

THERE APPEARS TO BE

SOME MOVEMENT DOWN THERE NOW.

 

I EXPECT IF THERE ARE

NO FURTHER PROBLEMS,

 

WE SHALL SEE HOGGETT

AND HIS DOG PIG.

 

UNUSUAL NAME.

STRANGE NAME, ISN'T IT ?

PIG.

 

ANYONE FOR A GAME

OF CARDS ?

 

[ Commentator ]

OH, GOOD GRIEF !  LOOK !

[ Gasps ]

 

[ Laughter ]

 

[ Laughter Continues ]

 

[ Man ]

HE'S A FOOL !

 

[ P.A. Announcer ]

ENTRY NUMBER 23,

MR. A. HOGGETT WITH PIG.

 

[ Crowd Laughing ]

 

[ Commentator ]

THIS IS JUST TOO CRAZY

TO BELIEVE.

 

AND IF THAT ISN'T ENOUGH.

WE HAVE A STRAY DOG

ON THE FIELD.

 

THEY TRYING TO ROUND HIM UP ?

 

THE DOG'S GONNA GIVE A FEW TIPS

ON HOW TO BE A SHEEP PIG.

 

[ Laughing ]

 

[ Panting ]

 

WELL,

IT'S UP TO HIM NOW.

 

AWAY TO ME, PIG.

 

[ Crowd Laughing ]

 

[ Laughing ]

GET OFF !

 

BAA, RAM, EWE.

 BAA, RAM, EWE !

 

TO YOUR BREED, YOUR FLEECE,

YOUR CLAN BE TRUE.

 

SHEEP BE TRUE.

BAA, RAM, EWE.

 

WHAT...

 WHAT DID YOU SAY ?

 

[ Man ]

GET YOURSELF A DOG, HOGGETT.

 

[ Sobbing ]

 

THERE, THERE, ESME.

IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.

 

[ Commentator ]

IS HE JUST GOING TO STAND THERE

UNTIL HIS TIME RUNS OUT ?

 

OR COULD THIS BE

SOME SORT OF PROTEST ?

 

MAYBE WE SHOULD LINE UP AN

INTERVIEW WITH THE SHEEP PIG ?

 

OR THE SHEEP PIG'S TRAINER.

 

HE'S A LIVELY SORT OF FELLOW

BY THE LOOKS OF THINGS.

 

[ Commentator ]

GOOD HEAVENS !

 

HEY !

SHH.

 

[ Horse ]

IT'S BABE !

 

I-I--

 

IT, UH--

HMM.

 

OH, BEAUTIFULLY DONE !

I CAN'T TELL YOU

HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO Y'ALL.

 

NOW, FOR ONE LAST FAVOR.

 

IF THE THREE LADIES

WITH COLLARS WOULD KINDLY

WALK OUT OF THE RING,

 

I'D BE VERY MUCH OBLIGED.

 

[ Cheering ]

 

[ Narrator ]

AND SO IT WAS THAT

IN ALL THE CELEBRATION,

 

IN ALL THE HUBBUB

OF NOISE AND EXCITEMENT,

 

THERE WERE TWO FIGURES

WHO STOOD SILENT AND STILL...

 

SIDE BY SIDE.

 

[ Crowing ]

 

[ Ferdinand Laughing ]

THE PIG DID IT !

THE PERFECT SCORE !

 

YIPPEE !  YIPPEE !

 

[ Narrator ]  AND THOUGH

EVERY SINGLE HUMAN IN THE STANDS

OR IN THE COMMENTARY BOXES...

 

WAS AT A COMPLETE LOSS

FOR WORDS,

 

THE MAN, WHO IN HIS LIFE

HAD UTTERED FEWER WORDS

THAN ANY OF THEM...

 

KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY.

 

THAT'LL DO, PIG.

 

THAT'LL DO.

 

[ Sighs ]

 

       CLOSED-CAPTIONED BY      

  CAPTIONS, INC.  LOS ANGELES   

 

[ Mouse ]

AND A-ONE AND A-TWO AND A-THREE.

HIT IT.

 

[ Mice ]

" IF I HAD WORDS TO MAKE

  A DAY FOR YOU "

 

" I'D SING YOU THE MORNING

  GOLDEN AND NEW "

 

" I WOULD MAKE THIS DAY

  LAST FOR ALL TIME "

 

" GIVE YOU A NIGHT

  DEEP IN MOONSHINE "

 

" IF I HAD WORDS TO MAKE

  A DAY FOR YOU "

 

" I'D SING YOU A MORNING

  GOLDEN AND NEW "

 

" I WOULD MAKE THIS DAY

  LAST FOR ALL TIME "

 

" GIVE YOU A NIGHT

  DEEP IN MOONSHINE "

 

"" [ Song Repeats ]

 

""

 

[ Mice Giggling ]

 















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