Being Julia Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Being Julia script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Annette Bening and Michael Gambon.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Being Julia. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Being Julia Script


   

                   

I've lived in the

theatre since I was a kid.



 

                   

what I don't know about acting



 

                   

isn't worth knowing.



 

                   

now, you may be    years

old and just beginning,



 

                   

but I think you're a genius.



 

                   

you've got magnetism,

but no idea how to use it.



 

                   

you have to grab the audience

by the throat and say:



 

                   

"now, you buggers, you

pay attention to me!"



 

                   

and remember this,



  

                   

when you're on the stage acting,



  

                   

theatre is the only reality.



  

                   

everything else, the world outside,



  

                   

what civilians call the real world,



  

                   

is nothing but fantasy.



  

                   

and I bloody well

won't let you forget it.



  

                   

the trouble is, darling,

I'm an incurable romantic.



  

                   

I believe in love,



  

                   

I believe in happiness,



  

                   

I believe in us.



  

                   

no, you don't.

you're just saying that.



  

                   

there's someone else, isn't there?



  

                   

I love you, I do.



  

                   

I do, I

love you--



  

                   

and I used to believe



  

                   

we'd live happily ever after.



  

                   

didn't you?



  

                   

with every fiber of my being.



  

                   

only now...



  

                   

good morning, miss Lambert.



  

                   

good morning, Margery,



  

                   

is anyone with my lord and master?



  

                   

no.



  

                   

darling, what are you doing here?



  

                   

I want an answer, Michael.



  

                   

what's the question?



  

                   

what did I say to you



  

                   

before we went to sleep last night, hmm?



  

                   

uh, I give up. what did you say to me



  

                   

before we went to sleep last night?



  

                   

I said I was tired.



  

                   

it seems a perfectly natural thing

to say before you go to sleep.



  

                   

Christ, Michael, you can be

an irritating little shit!



  

                   

Julia, Julia, really,



  

                   

if your public could

only hear your language.



  

                   

I want them to hear.



  

                   

I want every bloody one of them to hear.



  

                   

I'm tired. I am utterly exhausted.



  

                   

I need a holiday.



  

                   

just admit it, Michael.



  

                   

you've never understood what it means



  

                   

to carry a play,



  

                   

to sweat it out night after night.



  

                   

I'm the only one who takes it

seriously, Michael, you know that.



  

                   

all you do is count the money and

think it's a bloody great lark.



  

                   

take the play off.



  

                   

but we'll lose a fortune.



  

                   

our partner won't like it.



  

                   

to hell with dolly!



  

                   

I'm sorry, sweetheart.



  

                   

god, I didn't mean to be so vile.



  

                   

it's just I'm-- I'm

near to breaking point.



  

                   

everything's so tedious.



  

                   

I want something to happen.



  

                   

what?



  

                   

I wish I knew.



  

                   

please. please close the

play at the end of the month.



  

                   

yeah. I really do

have to think about it.



  

                   

we can't have the theatre dark.



  

                   

hmm?



  

                   

I'll try and see what

I can do. I promise.



  

                   

hmm?



  

                   

please.



  

                   

I promise.



  

                   

thank you.



  

                   

you were very quiet



  

                   

leaving the house this morning.



  

                   

well, I didn't want to wake you.



  

                   

you were dead to the world.



  

                   

hmm. I did my exercises

and went for a run.



  

                   

exercises, running...



  

                   

god, Michael,



  

                   

you're the vainest man in London.



  

                   

me, vain? nonsense.



  

                   

I just want to preserve my magnificent

good looks for as long as possible.



  

                   

oh, yes, speaking of good looks,



  

                   

did you notice that

young man as you came in?



  

                   

no.



  

                   

he's an American.



  

                   

son of a friend of a

friend of Eddie Gilbert's.



  

                   

I can't see what that's

got to do with me.



  

                   

he admires you tremendously.



  

                   

oh, he sounds frightfully intelligent.



  

                   

what's his name?



  

                   

can't remember.



  

                   

uh, unfortunately,



  

                   

he's as poor as a church mouse.



  

                   

I thought we might give

him a spot of lunch.



  

                   

well, he's awfully

good-mannered, for an American.



  

                   

uh!



   

                   

rubbish mail, Margery.



   

                   

yes, Mr. Gosselyn.



   

                   

uh, I would like to

introduce you to my wife,



   

                   

Julia Lambert.



   

                   

Julia, this

is-- this is--



   

                   

this is the young man

I was telling you about.



   

                   

he wants to learn the business,



   

                   

so we're starting him

off with our accountant.



   

                   

it-it's an honor to

meet you, miss Lambert.



   

                   

I wonder if we could persuade you



   

                   

to come and eat a chop with us.



   

                   

Michael will drive you back after lunch.



   

                   

gee, that's real kind of you.



   

                   

you two take the lift,

I'll take the stairs.



   

                   

last one down's a sissy.



   

                   

miss Lambert,



   

                   

could I-- could

I ask you a favor?



   

                   

I can't give you any more

room, if that's what you mean.



   

                   

no, no, no, it's, uh... I wonder...



   

                   

would you...



   

                   

would you let me have a photograph?



   

                   

of course.



   

                   

gee, that's swell of you.



   

                   

I've seen you in

farewell, my love   times.



   

                   

you haven't. have you really?



   

                   

it's such a silly play.



   

                   

oh, it's not the play,



   

                   

it's you. you're just... just great.



   

                   

I'm glad you liked me.



   

                   

liked you? I loved you.



   

                   

I won.

- what?



   

                   

well done.



   

                   

come on, Mr... uh...



   

                   

all an actress like Julia needs



   

                   

is a vehicle.



   

                   

it's the actors the public go to see,



   

                   

not the play.



   

                   

that's true in my case. I'd see

you in anything, miss Lambert.



   

                   

but you know what I'd

really like to find out?



   

                   

how did you start?



   

                   

how did you get to be where you are,



   

                   

owning a theatre, top of the tree?



   

                   

clean living and hard work. cigarette?



   

                   

we owe it all to a rude, foul-mouthed

brute called Jimmie Langton.



   

                   

we were in his repertory

company in Middlesbrough.



   

                   

he knew all there is to know

about theatre and acting.



   

                   

that's where I met Michael.

that's how we began.



   

                   

I was a rotten actor.



   

                   

yes, but you have presence.



   

                   

the audience always

gasps when you come on.



   

                   

it's his dazzling good looks, you see.



   

                   

gee, this is fascinating. fascinating.



   

                   

dreadfully jealous of him?



   

                   

you're very sweet, but

I know perfectly well



   

                   

that all I can play are

diplomats, lawyers and politicians.



   

                   

I'm more interested in

the business side. that's--



   

                   

yes, but you know as well as I do



   

                   

that we'd be nothing without Jimmie.



   

                   

I always lay a place

for him at the table.



   

                   

just in case he turns up.



   

                   

he's been dead for    years.



   

                   

yes, but you never know.



   

                   

he was a monster.



   

                   

uh, how do you spell your first name?



   

                   

t-o-m.



   

                   

hoy!



   

                   

hoy!



   

                   

hoy!



   

                   

hoy!



   

                   

hoy!



   

                   

for god's sake,



   

                   

don't torture yourself like this, Laura.



   

                   

no one will ever know

how much I loved him.



   

                   

he was my earth, my moon,



   

                   

all the stars in the firmament.



   

                   

farewell, my love.



   

                   

bravo! bravo!



   

                   

no, there's nothing left for me now



   

                   

but to tour Canada and Australia,



   

                   

god help me.



   

                   

nonsense, miss Lambert.



   

                   

it's not nonsense.



   

                   

I've decided to retire

and let myself go.



   

                   

I'll have potatoes for lunch

and potatoes for dinner.



   

                   

beer. god, I love beer!



   

                   

and treacle pudding and

cherry tart and cream.



   

                   

cream, cream, cream, cream, cream...



   

                   

as god is my judge,



   

                   

I'll never eat a lettuce leaf again.



   

                   

oh, god, I bet I know who that is.



   

                   

good afternoon, Evie.



   

                   

oh, Mrs. de vries, what a surprise.



   

                   

uh, I hope this isn't inconvenient



   

                   

but I have to see miss Lambert



   

                   

on a business matter.



   

                   

she isn't having one

of her afternoon naps,



   

                   

is she?



   

                   

wait a minute.



   

                   

guess who's here.



   

                   

show her in.



   

                   

business, she says, but isn't it funny



   

                   

how she always manages

to time her visits



   

                   

when you're lying stark bollock naked.



   

                   

enough of that, you dirty-minded slut.



   

                   

show her in.



   

                   

Mrs. de vries.



   

                   

Julia, darling.



   

                   

dolly, dear. hmm.



   

                   

oh, I'm so sorry.



   

                   

I always seem to call when

you're--you're otherwise engaged.



   

                   

tea? lovely.



   

                   

ignore me. I'll--I'll just

sit here quiet as a lamb



   

                   

until you're done.



   

                   

so Evie said



   

                   

something about business. hmm?



   

                   

what? oh, yes.



   

                   

um, Michael tells me you

want to close the play.



   

                   

my husband's a devious little runt.



   

                   

oh, that's unfair.



   

                   

he was perfectly right to consult me.



   

                   

we're partners. the   of us.



   

                   

a perfect combination.



   

                   

my money, his know-how, your genius.



   

                   

I'm exhausted, dolly.



   

                   

I feel twice my age which makes me   .



   

                   

I'm bored. life has

nothing in store for me.



   

                   

you mean that or are you acting?



   

                   

I never know when you're acting.



   

                   

I'm not acting.



   

                   

I'm near to having a breakdown.



   

                   

I feel as though my

life's come to an end.



   

                   

all right. all right.



   

                   

all done.



   

                   

oh, thank you, you're a dear.



   

                   

uh.



   

                   

are you really near a breakdown, Julia?



   

                   

oh, I don't know. I don't know.



   

                   

I'm in such an odd state at the moment.



   

                   

it's as if...



   

                   

it's as if the curtain's

come down on act  



   

                   

but I have no idea

what happens in act  .



   

                   

I-I'm in a sort of limbo.



   

                   

waiting for something

to happen. but what?



   

                   

what?



   

                   

oh, please, dolly, be my friend.



   

                   

oh.



   

                   

make Michael take the play off.



   

                   

I need a holiday.



   

                   

I could visit--visit

my mother in jersey,



   

                   

and then visit you in France.



   

                   

oh. I could swim in

your pool. in the nuddy.



   

                   

lovely flowers for someone.



   

                   

oh, hello, a

blooming florist's shop.



   

                   

who sent them? Mrs. de vries?



   

                   

very likely. or lord Tamerley.



   

                   

here, don't forget,

you've got dinner with him



   

                   

after the show tonight.



   

                   

yes, I know.



   

                   

expect you'll have to

turn on the waterworks



   

                   

for him again as per usual.



   

                   

I wish you'd teach me to cry real tears.



   

                   

the times I've needed them.



   

                   

oh, here's a card.



   

                   

from Mr. Thomas fennel,

Tavistock square.



   

                   

what a place to live.



   

                   

who the hell do you suppose he is, Evie?



   

                   

oh, some feller knocked all of a heap



   

                   

by your fatal beauty, I expect.



   

                   

probably cost a fortune.



   

                   

went without dinner for a week.



   

                   

oh, pull the other one.



   

                   

beginners, please, miss Lambert.



   

                   

mmm-hmm.



   

                   

well, whoever Mr. Thomas fennel is,



   

                   

I think it's all right



   

                   

having a young man send me flowers



   

                   

at my time of life.



   

                   

I mean, it

just shows you--



   

                   

how do you know he's a young man?



   

                   

he's probably over   .



   

                   

go to hell.



   

                   

I'm on my way I'm on my way



   

                   

I'm busy 'cause I'm on my way



   

                   

thank you.



   

                   

thank you.



   

                   

Julia Lambert.



   

                   

the champagne now, my lord?



   

                   

thank you, Antoine.



   

                   

and for you, madame Lambert?



   

                   

I'd prefer beer but I mustn't,



   

                   

so I'll make do with bubbly.



   

                   

thank you.



   

                   

it's for you. open it.



   

                   

oh.



   

                   

it's a portrait of Clairon.



   

                   

she was a great actress,



   

                   

and I believe you

have many of her gifts.



   

                   

Charles, you are sweet.



   

                   

I thought you might like it.



   

                   

it's by way of being a parting present.



   

                   

you're going away?



   

                   

no. but I shan't be seeing you anymore.



   

                   

oh, Charles, not again.



   

                   

no. this is becoming a ritual. why?



   

                   

we have such a beautiful

friendship, Julia.



   

                   

it's unique in my

experience, but people talk.



   

                   

they don't understand.



   

                   

and even though we know the truth,



   

                   

if we go on seeing one another,



   

                   

there will be a terrible scandal.



   

                   

no, there won't.



   

                   

Michael and I lead separate lives.



   

                   

that's why we're so happily married.



   

                   

more or less.



   

                   

jumped-up little tart,

that's what she is.



   

                   

never stops acting, on-stage or off.



   

                   

she's just one big pose.



   

                   

dashed pretty.



   

                   

shut up, Rupert, don't

show your ignorance.



   

                   

I know all about her.



   

                   

we were both born



   

                   

in the channel islands, jersey.



   

                   

her father was our

doctor. a jersey doctor!



   

                   

you can't get more common than that.



   

                   

it's only common sense, darling.



   

                   

I don't want to lose you.



   

                   

I--I have few

friends. real friends.



   

                   

you're the only person in my life



   

                   

with whom I can be entirely myself.



   

                   

I'm terribly low at the moment.



   

                   

I--I

need you.



   

                   

let's go on seeing each other. please.



   

                   

uh, please forgive us intruding

like this, miss Lambert.



   

                   

my friend and I are

such very great admirers.



   

                   

and I wonder... do you remember me?



   

                   

Florence Coltraine, isn't it?



   

                   

correct.



   

                   

Rupert and I want you

to settle an argument.



   

                   

I think I used to know

your father in jersey.



   

                   

he was a doctor, wasn't he?



   

                   

he used to come to

our house quite often.



   

                   

actually, he was a vet.



   

                   

he used to go to your house



   

                   

to deliver the bitches.



   

                   

the house was full of them.



   

                   

life is just a bowl of cherries



   

                   

don't take it serious

life's too mysterious



   

                   

you work, you save you worry so



   

                   

but you can't take

your dough when you go



   

                   

I'm sorry, I didn't

mean to frighten you.



   

                   

t-o-m.



   

                   

you remember.



   

                   

did you like

the--the flowers?



   

                   

oh, Mr. Thomas fennel, Tavistock square.



   

                   

yes, of course, thank you.



   

                   

well, uh, I couldn't

decide between a single rose



   

                   

and every flower in the store.



   

                   

is that why you're here

at this time of night?



   

                   

to find out if I received the flowers?



   

                   

no. you see, I don't have a phone yet.



   

                   

and I...



   

                   

um...



   

                   

you wouldn't come to tea

with me one day, would you?



   

                   

I don't see why not.



   

                   

will you really?



   

                   

how about next Friday?



   

                   

    Tavistock square,  :  ?



   

                   

all right. I'll be there.



   

                   

gee, that's swell. see you then.



   

                   

the sweet things in life

to you were just loaned



   

                   

so how gonna you lose

what you've never owned?



   

                   

life is just a bowl of cherries



   

                   

so live and laugh at it all



   

                   

life is just a bowl of cherries



   

                   

don't make it serious

life's too mysterious



   

                   

you work, you save you worry so



   

                   

but you can't take your

dough when you go go



   

                   

keep on repeating "it's the berries"



   

                   

the strongest oak must fall



   

                   

oh?



   

                   

I saw you drive up.



   

                   

I'm afraid I'm on the  rd floor.



   

                   

I hope you don't mind.



   

                   

and if I do?



   

                   

we're there.



   

                   

thank god for that.



   

                   

the gas ring's in the bathroom.



   

                   

oh.



   

                   

it isn't the Ritz, but it's home.



   

                   

no, it's--it's

charming. it's so London.



   

                   

it reminds me of my early days.



   

                   

I have to put coins in the gas meter.



   

                   

oh, yes, so did I.



   

                   

have some cake. I bought it specially.



   

                   

oh.



   

                   

I shouldn't, but I will.



   

                   

you know something? you

ought to be in movies.



   

                   

real actresses don't make films.



   

                   

but beautiful actresses do.



   

                   

hmm.



   

                   

well, I saw you in nobody's

perfect on Broadway.



   

                   

I was    at the time.



   

                   

I wish you hadn't told me that.



   

                   

I stood outside the stage door

and, uh, I got your autograph.



   

                   

you asked me my name. I told you.



   

                   

you knew how to spell it then.



   

                   

what's so funny?



   

                   

you remind me of something.



   

                   

what is it?



   

                   

my husband. in a scene we had to play.



   

                   

he didn't know how to sit down.



   

                   

Jimmie made him do it

over and over again.



   

                   

uh, I can't stay long.



   

                   

I must have a nap before my performance.



   

                   

but you've only just arrived.



   

                   

and you--you can't

go without, uh,



   

                   

without, well, seeing the view.



   

                   

it's really great.



   

                   

if you just come over to the window...



   

                   

isn't it terrific?



   

                   

I just love London.



   

                   

it's so big, but it's

also kind of friendly.



   

                   

and all those people,

each with their own lives.



   

                   

I can't explain it.



   

                   

when I first came to London,

I stood in Piccadilly circus



   

                   

looking at the lights



   

                   

and the people and the taxis,



   

                   

and I said out loud:



   

                   

"one day I'm going to conquer you."



   

                   

and you have.



   

                   

have I?

I wonder--



   

                   

look at my hair.



   

                   

uh, here.



   

                   

oh?



   

                   

thank you.



   

                   

and I thought you were

such a shy young man.



   

                   

when am I-- when am

I gonna see you again?



   

                   

you want to see me again?



   

                   

what do you think?



   

                   

I'll ring you up one of these days.



   

                   

uh, my hat...



   

                   

oh, uh...



   

                   

good. well, uh, I have a phone now.



   

                   

and the number's museum-    .



   

                   

so promise you'll call soon.



   

                   

on my honor.



   

                   

you know, don't come down.



   

                   

I can see myself out.



   

                   

for Christ's sake, Julia,

what do you think you're doing?



   

                   

you're supposed to be playing a whore,



   

                   

not a schoolgirl with a

crush on her gym mistress.



   

                   

you kissed him



   

                   

as if you were frightened

of catching his cold.



   

                   

when you kiss, you should feel



   

                   

as if your bones are

melting inside your body.



   

                   

tongues, darling,



   

                   

that's what it's about, tongues.



   

                   

now, I know you're a virgin.



   

                   

don't give me the waterworks,

Julia, I'm too old for that.



   

                   

you're a virgin, so what you have

to do is find a handsome young man,



   

                   

like your juvenile

man, Michael Gosselyn.



   

                   

go back to your rooms,



   

                   

take your clothes off, lie

on the bed, open your legs



   

                   

and ask him to give it to

you hot, sweet and strong.



   

                   

if that doesn't improve your

acting, then nothing will.



   

                   

right, let's do it again.



   

                   

what's so funny?



   

                   

I feel as though

I'm a  -year-old.



   

                   

that's    years you've lost in a week.



   

                   

tell us the secret,



   

                   

we'll bottle it and make a fortune.



   

                   

hmm.



   

                   

damn it all, miss Lambert,

you don't look so bad.



   

                   

you can go on

playing   -year-olds,



   

                   

  -year-olds for a

good long time yet.



   

                   

and then what?



   

                   

whoo!



   

                   

mothers, grandmothers and old maids.



   

                   

bugger playwrights.

can't write for women.



   

                   

they're all men, that's the trouble.



   

                   

yes?



   

                   

good morning.



   

                   

t-o-m.



   

                   

you promised to call me.



   

                   

give a girl a chance.



   

                   

when am I going to see you again?



   

                   

as soon as I have a moment to spare.



   

                   

come to tea after the matinee.



   

                   

oh, I'm not falling for that one again.



   

                   

how about dinner after the show then?



   

                   

if you insist.



   

                   

I do.



   

                   

on the silver screen



   

                   

he melts her foolish

heart in every single scene



   

                   

although she's quite

aware that here and there



   

                   

are traces of the cad about the boy



   

                   

lord knows she's not a fool girl



   

                   

she really shouldn't care



   

                   

lord knows she's not a school girl



   

                   

in the flurry of her first affair



   

                   

will it ever cloy this odd diversity



   

                   

of misery and joy I told them



   

                   

look, there's lord Crumley over there.



   

                   

and I think that's lady Laweston.



   

                   

what have you been reading,  Debrett's?



   

                   

Debrett's? no,  the tatler.



   

                   

oh, you have to know who's

who to get on in this town.



   

                   

oh, you want to get on, do you?



   

                   

I want to get on you, Julia.



   

                   

don't be disgusting.



   

                   

but I want you.



   

                   

I do.



   

                   

you're the loveliest girl that one



   

                   

I want you.



   

                   

your conversation's

frightfully limited, tom.



   

                   

dance with me.



   

                   

what time is it?



   

                   

oh, well, uh, I... I

forgot to put on my watch.



   

                   

have you pawned it?



   

                   

no, no, I just, uh,



   

                   

I--I dressed in

rather a hurry tonight.



   

                   

they'll never believe me



   

                   

they'll never believe me



   

                   

that from this great big world



   

                   

you've chosen



   

                   

he treated you like a tart.



   

                   

which of course is what you are.



   

                   

he was my earth, my moon,



   

                   

and all the stars in the firmament.



   

                   

the photo's

in the wrong place!



   

                   

farewell, my love.



   

                   

you were wonderful tonight, my darling.



   

                   

bloody marvelous.



   

                   

you almost made me cry.



   

                   

only almost?



   

                   

I'll kill whoever set the photo.



   

                   

thanks, Archie.



   

                   

and what've you done to your eyes?



   

                   

hmm? some new makeup?



   

                   

I've never seen them

shine like that before.



   

                   

your call, Mr. Dexter.



   

                   

hmm.



   

                   

sorry about the photo,

it won't happen again.



   

                   

hmm.



   

                   

your call, miss Lambert.



   

                   

you're forgiven.



   

                   

what's the matter with her?



   

                   

darling, Julia.



   

                   

you were quite wonderful tonight.



   

                   

I'll say. absolutely first-rate.



   

                   

thank you.



   

                   

yes, I believe I was

firing on all cylinders.



   

                   

and I'm starving, absolutely ravenous.



   

                   

Evie, what have we

got for supper tonight?



   

                   

tripe and onions.



   

                   

oh, how divine. I

adore tripe and onions.



   

                   

Michael, Michael, if you love me,



   

                   

if you've got any spark of tenderness



   

                   

in that hard heart of yours,



   

                   

let me have a bottle of beer.



   

                   

beer? yes.



   

                   

Julia. just this once.



   

                   

oh, Evie, that's for you.



   

                   

uh, please?



   

                   

Julia, I think it's a damn shame.



   

                   

what is?



   

                   

well, that you're taking the play off.



   

                   

the good news is,



   

                   

I've found an Italian company



   

                   

who wants the theatre for   months,



   

                   

so I said they could have it. hmm. mmm.



   

                   

I'm sure your mother's

as excited as I am



   

                   

at the thought of being with you.



   

                   

we'll have such fun at my place, Julia.



   

                   

you could do anything you like.



   

                   

rest. anything.



   

                   

I've changed my mind. I don't know why,



   

                   

but I'm beginning to  enjoy

myself again. oh, but--



   

                   

let's run through the summer



   

                   

and then find something

new for the autumn.



   

                   

but I've... I-I've...

I've told the Italians.



   

                   

then un-tell them.



   

                   

and I was so looking forward to France.



   

                   

stars will be stars.



   

                   

I forgot.



   

                   

what?



   

                   

hmm...



   

                   

oh, my god. a cartier.



   

                   

well spotted. when's your birthday?



   

                   

November   .



   

                   

hmm.



   

                   

happy birthday.



   

                   

uh, but it's not November   .



   

                   

don't be so pedantic. open it.



   

                   

oh, that's the one thing

I've wanted my whole life.



   

                   

thank you.



   

                   

uh, geez, it's lousy



   

                   

I can't give you anything in return.



   

                   

give me that watch you

pawned to buy me supper.



   

                   

have you redeemed it yet? ah! thanks.



   

                   

it'll amuse me to wear it.



   

                   

I love you, Julia.



   

                   

this is total insanity.

I'm old enough to be...



   

                   

god, I'm a fool,



   

                   

I'm such a bloody fool.



   

                   

good morning, Evie. where's my wife?



   

                   

in your study.



   

                   

my study? mmm-hmm.



   

                   

what's she doing there?



   

                   

exercising.



   

                   

exercising?



   

                   

what are you doing?



   

                   

swimming the channel, what

do you think I'm doing?



   

                   

yeah, but why?



   

                   

miss Phillips said my

tummy needed tightening,



   

                   

so I'm tightening it.



   

                   

oh.



   

                   

oh, yes, I had a thought.



   

                   

we should take a country house



   

                   

for the summer.



   

                   

what do you think?



   

                   

I'll talk to you later.



   

                   

so do you think a house

for the summer's a good idea?



   

                   

yes.



   

                   

golf, swimming, tennis.



   

                   

it'll be especially good

for Roger. he loves golf.



   

                   

then he'll have to decide

what's he gonna do with his life.



   

                   

I think he should go to university.



   

                   

he doesn't want to,

and we shouldn't insist.



   

                   

it's his life.



   

                   

oh, yes, I had another idea.



   

                   

you remember that young

chap I introduced you to?



   

                   

which young chap?



   

                   

that American. good-looking fellow.



   

                   

remember?



   

                   

no.



   

                   

he wants to learn the business.



   

                   

Tom Fennel is his name.



   

                   

American, you must remember.



   

                   

vaguely.



   

                   

well, he's frightfully good at his job.



   

                   

he's a wizard with money.



   

                   

lots of American ideas for avoiding tax.



   

                   

what about him?



   

                   

well, I thought we might invite him down



   

                   

for a couple of weeks to

spend his holiday with us.



   

                   

why would we want to do that?



   

                   

he'll be company for Roger.



   

                   

he's only a bit older.



   

                   

Roger will like him, I'm sure of it.



   

                   

shall I ask him?



   

                   

hmm.



   

                   

ah!



   

                   

remind me to keep exercising.



   

                   

so, will you come and stay?



   

                   

Michael says the house is

frightfully comfortable.



   

                   

probably not.



   

                   

I'm going abroad for a couple of months.



   

                   

what fun.



   

                   

well, you'll be busy, won't you?



   

                   

looking for a new play, reading scripts.



   

                   

so, what do you think?



   

                   

he hasn't done justice to your eyes.



   

                   

as a matter of fact,



   

                   

there is a play that interests me.



   

                   

it's about an older woman



   

                   

who has an affair with a younger man.



   

                   

oh, a farce.



   

                   

why do you say that?



   

                   

well, because everyone

laughs at the older woman.



   

                   

no, not in this play. it's all serious.



   

                   

the act   curtain's good.



   

                   

it comes as a shock to her.



   

                   

what does?



   

                   

that she's fallen in love with the boy.



   

                   

and it happens just when everything



   

                   

seemed to her so dull and unpromising,



   

                   

as if her life was over.



   

                   

she finds the affair exhilarating.



   

                   

and everyone keeps telling her



   

                   

she looks    years younger.



   

                   

I trust she doesn't confess to the boy



   

                   

that she loves him. that's always fatal.



   

                   

does it sound like something for me?



   

                   

oh, don't be ridiculous, Julia.



   

                   

no, your public would

never stand for it.



   

                   

if such a woman asked me,



   

                   

I know what advice I'd give her.



   

                   

what? break it off at once.



   

                   

it will only end in tears.



   

                   

but, Charles, she can't do that.



   

                   

why ever not?



   

                   

because she's fallen in love with him,



   

                   

that's why. she's helpless.



   

                   

hmm.



   

                   

the character in the play.



   

                   

dolly, old thing,



   

                   

how are you?



   

                   

I haven't seen you for ages.



   

                   

sit down and make yourself, uh,



   

                   

comfy.



   

                   

so, come to see that

the old firm's raking in



   

                   

the dividends for you?



   

                   

Michael, I'll come

straight to the point.



   

                   

you know I'm not one to gossip,



   

                   

but--but I'm

upset about Julia.



   

                   

I think you ought to know that

people are beginning to talk.



   

                   

what the devil do you mean?



   

                   

well, it's absurd that at her age,



   

                   

she should make herself so conspicuous



   

                   

with a young boy.



   

                   

oh, you mean tom fennel?

don't be such a fool, dolly.



   

                   

I'm not a fool.



   

                   

when someone is as well-known as Julia



   

                   

and they're always seen with the

same man, naturally people talk.



   

                   

tom fennel is a very

good type of American.



   

                   

he's clean, honest and by

way of being a gentleman.



   

                   

he's boring, dull, common and a snob.



   

                   

he's just using Julia.

he's a little gold digger.



   

                   

can you look me in the eyes, dolly,



   

                   

and tell me you really think



   

                   

Julia's having an affair with him?



   

                   

no.



   

                   

ah.



   

                   

the truth is, Michael,

I've hardly seen her.



   

                   

she never telephones anymore, and...



   

                   

and...



   

                   

I understand, dolly, believe me.



   

                   

she's very fond of you, you know that,



   

                   

but she's bound to have other friends.



   

                   

I don't think chaps



   

                   

should talk about their wives to others.



   

                   

I think it's frightfully bad form



   

                   

but let me explain

something to you about Julia.



   

                   

sex doesn't mean a thing to her.



   

                   

it was different in the beginning.



   

                   

then she could be somewhat

tiresome sometimes.



   

                   

but after she had Roger, she changed.



   

                   

having a baby seemed to settle her.



   

                   

all those instincts went

into her acting, you see.



   

                   

gossip isn't good for business, Michael.



   

                   

I mean, if Julia had one flagrant

affair after another, nobody would notice



   

                   

but--but this boy,

he's half her age.



   

                   

the public has always looked up to you



   

                   

as such a devoted and loyal couple.



   

                   

and so we are, damn it. in our way.



   

                   

devoted, united, but not...



   

                   

how shall I put it? not possessive.



   

                   

we're a very modern couple.



   

                   

hello, Roger, my boy.



   

                   

hello, daddy.



   

                   

glad to be finished at Eton?



   

                   

no mummy?



   

                   

no, it's Saturday. she's got   shows.



   

                   

  and   pence, sir.



   

                   

she'll be down first

thing in the morning.



   

                   

thank you so much.



   

                   

thank you, sir.



   

                   

here, let me give you a hand.



   

                   

she's bringing a young

chap down with her,



   

                   

your age more or less.



   

                   

a yank. I think you'll like him.



   

                   

I get no kick from champagne



   

                   

mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all



   

                   

so tell me why should it be true



   

                   

that I get a kick out of you



   

                   

what's the matter?



   

                   

nothing.



   

                   

tell me.



   

                   

it's... I--I--I

just don't...



   

                   

I'm worried sick, that's all.



   

                   

what about?



   

                   

tell me, tom. what?



   

                   

it's money, I owe money.



   

                   

oh.



   

                   

is that all?



   

                   

I thought it was something serious.



   

                   

well, it's ok for you, Julia,



   

                   

but I just can't afford

all the things we do.



   

                   

nightclubs, restaurants.



   

                   

sweetheart.



   

                   

how can you let a trifle

like that upset you?



   

                   

don't worry about it.

I'll give you the money.



   

                   

no, I--I couldn't take

any money from you.



   

                   

what nonsense.



   

                   

why grudge me the happiness



   

                   

it gives me to get you out of a hole?



   

                   

I get a kick out of you



   

                   

I thought tonight

we might play mahjong.



   

                   

do you play

mahjong, tom? no, I--



   

                   

sorry, um, no can do. we're going down



   

                   

to the pub to assess the local talent.



   

                   

oh, I might come with you.



   

                   

the barmaid is an absolute stunner.



   

                   

god, you're all so vulgar.



   

                   

well, mummy, you have an early night.



   

                   

it'll do you good.



   

                   

you're looking awfully fagged.



   

                   

more wine?



   

                   

first word.



   

                   

first word.



   

                   

film. cinema.



   

                   

  words. the first word...



   

                   

she'll never get this

one. never get this.



   

                   

small.



   

                   

very small.



   

                   

oh, um, wee. wee, wee, wee.



   

                   

wee.



   

                   

 nd word.



   

                   

there you go.



   

                   

 nd word, fly.



   

                   

very nice, Julia.



   

                   

wee, wee. wee, wee. wee, wee, wee, wee.



   

                   

Julia, Julia, Julia,

we're in mixed company.



   

                   

oh, let's do the  rd word.



   

                   

 rd word.  rd word.



   

                   

winking! winking!



   

                   

oh, oh, oh.



   

                   

wee willie winkie! yes.



   

                   

yes. yes, you idiots. wee willie winkie.



   

                   

Shirley Temple, god, you're stupid.



   

                   

I don't get "willie."



   

                   

I don't get "willie."



   

                   

oh, well, they did.



   

                   

It-it's an English thing.



   

                   

ah.



   

                   

ok.



   

                   

hello, you.



   

                   

hey.



   

                   

more water.



   

                   

no, stop it!



   

                   

I told you.



   

                   

oh, no. I just dried

off, tom, I hate you.



   

                   

I'm going to get you back.



   

                   

you're an uncivilized oaf.



   

                   

and you're running away.



   

                   

come on, Michael,

you promised me a dance.



   

                   

so I did, sorry.



   

                   

I might be out of practice.



   

                   

answer my question, Julia.



   

                   

what question?



   

                   

would you?



   

                   

would I what?



   

                   

tour in the second Mrs. Tanqueray



   

                   

for    pounds a week.



   

                   

and it's a  -month tour, darling.



   

                   

  months.



   

                   

no, I can't be away

from home for   months.



   

                   

what would Archie do without me?



   

                   

oh, he'll think of something.



   

                   

mmm.



   

                   

they're so bloody

mean, these managements.



   

                   

I said, "give me   

pounds and I'll do it."



   

                   

and he said, "   pounds?   

pounds!" cheeky little sod.



   

                   

what are you doing tonight?



   

                   

I don't know.



   

                   

do you know that girl's name?



   

                   

which girl?



   

                   

oh, that's Avice Crichton.



   

                   

"you couldn't have her for    pounds,



   

                   

never mind    pounds."



   

                   

I thought that was witty.



   

                   

don't you think that was witty?



   

                   

hilarious.



   

                   

well, they're not

number-one dates, darling.



   

                   

oh, not at all.



   

                   

Lowestoft, bournemouth and chesterfield



   

                   

and Christ knows where else.



   

                   

  months...



   

                   

mummy, we're going to London to have

supper and do the clubs, all right?



   

                   

no. no, really not,



   

                   

you've all had too much to drink.



   

                   

tom hasn't. he's driving,



   

                   

and one of the girls has a car.



   

                   

yeah. yeah, we had a great time



   

                   

good night, old man.



   

                   

good night, pal.



   

                   

are you-- are you crazy, what

do you think you're you doing?



   

                   

I was about to ask you the same thing.



   

                   

go back to your room.



   

                   

I've hardly seen you

since you've been here.



   

                   

you've seen Roger more than me.



   

                   

we haven't been alone.



   

                   

what's wrong with you?

you haven't held me,



   

                   

you haven't kissed me.



   

                   

shh.



   

                   

can't you

see the state I'm in?



   

                   

and--and tonight--tonight,

going off like that,



   

                   

not a word to me, with that little tart.



   

                   

oh, Avice Crichton is not a tart.



   

                   

Avice Crichton certainly looks like one.



   

                   

I'm going back to London tomorrow.



   

                   

good. I hope you remember

to tip the servants



   

                   

or do you want me to

give you the money, hmm?



   

                   

these are yours, take them back.



   

                   

don't be such a bloody little fool.



   

                   

you think I like being a kept boy?



   

                   

you think I like being

humiliated like this, huh?



   

                   

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm

sorry. I didn't mean it.



   

                   

that makes it even worse.



   

                   

I should never have let

you give me these presents.



   

                   

I should never have let

you lend me that money.



   

                   

by the end of the

month I'll pay you back.



   

                   

I've apologized.



   

                   

don't go to London tomorrow, please.



   

                   

I love you, tom.



   

                   

please.



   

                   

I'm tired. I want to go to bed now.



   

                   

now, that's

the real thing, Julia,



   

                   

or my name's not Jimmie Langton.



   

                   

but I've got some notes.



   

                   

you're still going over the top.



   

                   

you've got to learn restraint.



   

                   

and for Christ's sake,

stop crying, will you?



   

                   

we all know you can turn your

tears on and off like a tap,



   

                   

so turn them off, will you?



   

                   

well, bugger me,



   

                   

you really are crying

this time, aren't you?



   

                   

I can't say I wasn't moved,



   

                   

but you've got to learn to do it



   

                   

so that it seems real.



   

                   

seems to be real,

that's the art of acting.



   

                   

hold the mirror up to nature, ducky,



   

                   

otherwise you'll become a nervous wreck,



   

                   

take to drink



   

                   

and end up a piss artist

playing gin-sodden whores



   

                   

all over Scotland on number-  tours.



   

                   

technique, that's what

I want you to learn.



   

                   

technique.



   

                   

I saw the light on. can I come in?



   

                   

yes, of course. is something wrong?



   

                   

no. you've been crying.



   

                   

no, no, just a bad dream.



   

                   

what is it, sweetheart?



   

                   

we picked up a couple of girls tonight.



   

                   

who did?



   

                   

tom and me.



   

                   

oh.



   

                   

tom made me promise I wouldn't tell you.



   

                   

he said you'd be furious.



   

                   

were they tarts?



   

                   

no, they're on the stage.



   

                   

Joan asked me if I could get her



   

                   

an understudy in your next play.



   

                   

yes, tarts.



   

                   

I just had to tell you.



   

                   

tell me what?



   

                   

I thought it was about time



   

                   

I found out what it was all about.



   

                   

Roger, what do you mean?



   

                   

love.



   

                   

love?



   

                   

it's not that great, really.



   

                   

I don't know why everybody

makes such a fuss about it.



   

                   

mummy, what's the matter?



   

                   

you are upset.



   

                   

why are you crying?



   

                   

oh, because you're such a little boy.



   

                   

don't cry.



   

                   

hmm.



   

                   

I needed to tell you.



   

                   

it had to happen sooner or later.



   

                   

it makes me feel so old.



   

                   

"age cannot wither her,



   

                   

nor custom stale her infinite variety"



   

                   

if I'd been Cleopatra,



   

                   

I'd have put whoever said that to death.



   

                   

to tell you the truth,

I didn't enjoy it much.



   

                   

oh, you're so very, very young.



   

                   

I'll grow out of it.



   

                   

hmm.



   

                   

I may go abroad for a while.



   

                   

oh, where?



   

                   

I don't know. Italy, France. abroad.



   

                   

I say,



   

                   

about--about

that under study,



   

                   

is there any chance for Joan?



   

                   

tell her to write to me.



   

                   

thanks. good night.



   

                   

good night, darling.



   

                   

an understudy, my foot.



   

                   

wait. hold it.



   

                   

it's from you know who.



   

                   

I don't want to be disturbed.



   

                   

good matinee?



   

                   

all right,



   

                   

but I'm not feeling very well.



   

                   

draw up a chair. sit down.



   

                   

what's the matter?



   

                   

nothing. I haven't been sleeping.



   

                   

I had a post card from Roger.



   

                   

he's in Naples.



   

                   

says he's having a great time.



   

                   

yes, but you haven't come

here just to tell me that,



   

                   

have you?



   

                   

no, it's something else. I, uh...



   

                   

I can't pay you back

the money that I owe you.



   

                   

I know I said at the end of last month.



   

                   

but I just don't have it.



   

                   

I could pay it off.



    

                   

I hate having to ask

for more time. but...



    

                   

don't be such a bloody

little idiot, tom.



    

                   

it's so humiliating, Julia.



    

                   

geez, when you said

you'd pay my tips for me,



    

                   

how do you think that made me feel?



    

                   

I said I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.



    

                   

I was jealous of you



    

                   

spending so much time with Roger.



    

                   

I was jealous.



    

                   

I was jealous of you going out



    

                   

and having a good time without me.



    

                   

is that so horrible?



    

                   

I should never have

accepted anything from you.



    

                   

you're everything in the world to me.



    

                   

you know that.



    

                   

I love being with you.

I don't want to lose you.



    

                   

I have few friends. real friends.



    

                   

and you're the only person in my life



    

                   

with whom I can be entirely myself.



    

                   

let's... let's go...



    

                   

let's go on seeing each other. please.



    

                   

oh, Julia.



    

                   

well, I've always said,



    

                   

you're lucky you can cry

without your eyelids swelling.



    

                   

go to hell.



    

                   

well, you're looking a lot happier,



    

                   

I'll say that for you.



    

                   

I hope with good reason.



    

                   

if you're thinking what

I think you're thinking,



    

                   

then stop thinking.



    

                   

all the same, Evie,

you know what I think?



    

                   

no, what do you think?



    

                   

what mugs men are.



    

                   

well, they can't keep

it in their trousers,



    

                   

that's for sure.



    

                   

you're a revolting hag.



    

                   

yes, I am happier.



    

                   

everything will be all right now.



    

                   

I can't help feeling...



    

                   

I wish I didn't.



    

                   

deep down, I can't help feeling...



    

                   

what?



    

                   

a certain contempt for that boy.



    

                   

he's so transparent.



    

                   

life is just a bowl of cherries



    

                   

don't make it serious

life's too mysterious



    

                   

you work, you save, you worry so



    

                   

but you can't take your dough



    

                   

when you go, go, go



    

                   

so keep repeating



    

                   

are you dancing with

me or with someone else?



    

                   

I'm sorry,

I--I--I, uh,



    

                   

I can't get over what her

royal highness just said to me.



    

                   

what? what did she say?



    

                   

she said I ought to come

and see them in the country.



    

                   

and I was just thinking,



    

                   

you think it's ok if

I asked her to dance?



    

                   

oh, you're such a dreadful snob, tom.



    

                   

I know. that's why England's

the best place for me.



    

                   

I'm glad we quarreled.



    

                   

we're closer now than we've ever been.



    

                   

tom?



    

                   

what?



    

                   

can I ask you a favor?



    

                   

anything in the world.



    

                   

you know Julia Lambert well, don't you?



    

                   

no, not well, slightly.



    

                   

oh.



    

                   

have you been to bed with her?



    

                   

are you crazy?



    

                   

she's old enough to be my mother.



    

                   

what about her?



    

                   

I heard on the grapevine

that she's doing a new play



    

                   

called  nowadays,



    

                   

and there's a part for me in it.



    

                   

so I wondered if you...



    

                   

if I'd talk to her?



    

                   

yes. please, tom,



    

                   

I'm doing a Sunday night

performance week after next.



    

                   

terrible play. lovely

part. good shop window.



    

                   

if you could get

her to see me in it--



    

                   

is that all? consider it done.



    

                   

I can get Julia Lambert

to do anything I want.



    

                   

she eats out of my

hand. the part's yours.



    

                   

don't be daft,



    

                   

I'd be lucky to get an audition,



    

                   

never mind the part.



    

                   

you'll be in that play or

I'll never kiss you again.



    

                   

must say,



    

                   

never thought you'd keep this up.



    

                   

nor did I. but tummies will be tummies.



    

                   

saw the preliminary

budget for  nowadays.



    

                   

hmm. looks promising.



    

                   

must start auditioning. by the way,



    

                   

have you ever heard of a

girl called Avice Crichton?



    

                   

the name rings a bell.



    

                   

I'm told she's rather good.



    

                   

I was wondering if she might play Sybil.



    

                   

guess how I heard about her.



    

                   

how?



    

                   

through tom.



    

                   

he says she's clever.



    

                   

she's playing in a Sunday night show.



    

                   

tom thinks



    

                   

it might be worthwhile

to go and have a look-see.



    

                   

well, why don't you? can't.



    

                   

going down to sandwich to play golf.



    

                   

staying the night.



    

                   

would it bore you awfully to go?



    

                   

Tom'll take you.



    

                   

I'll think about it.



    

                   

hmm, am I late or were you early?



    

                   

the curtain goes up sharp at  :  .



    

                   

I hate getting to a

play after it's begun.



    

                   

remind me, uh,



    

                   

what's the name of the actress

we're going to see tonight?



    

                   

Avice Crichton. you met her.



    

                   

she came to lunch at Taplow.



    

                   

we even fought over her. did we?



    

                   

mmm. I don't remember.



    

                   

I can't wait to hear

what you think of her.



    

                   

she's so nervous knowing

you're gonna be out front.



    

                   

you know, these performances are like

rehearsals, but I said you'd understand.



    

                   

bottoms up.



    

                   

I had a letter from Roger.



    

                   

he's having a fine old

time. he's in Rome now.



    

                   

oh, yeah? she's awfully pretty.



    

                   

who are we talking about now?



    

                   

Avice Crichton.



    

                   

oh.



    

                   

yeah, she's got a great

figure. and she's very fair.



    

                   

what with platinum and peroxide,



    

                   

there's no lack of blondes these days.



    

                   

hers is natural.



    

                   

I wonder how you know that.



    

                   

keep the pace, Julia, don't rush it.



    

                   

nice and easy.



    

                   

god, this is undrinkable.



    

                   

he'll have to make a fresh pot.



    

                   

Julia, please don't.



    

                   

we'll be late.



    

                   

the first few minutes don't matter.



    

                   

but I said we'd be there on the dot.



    

                   

she's got a very good scene

right at the beginning.



    

                   

I'm sorry, but I can't

go without my coffee.



    

                   

Wilson, can you make a fresh pot?



    

                   

this tastes of bitter aloes.



    

                   

bravo!



    

                   

what time did the

doctor say he was coming?



    

                   

any moment now.



    

                   

which one's Avice?



    

                   

the pretty one.



    

                   

oh, Cynthia,



    

                   

I do hope he will be able to help me.



    

                   

"he's meant

to be a miracle worker."



    

                   

he's meant to be a miracle worker.



    

                   

I do so want to see again, Cynthia.



    

                   

miss Lambert, this is such an honor.



    

                   

you were great.



    

                   

I'm so glad to meet you again.



    

                   

and it's awfully good

of you to come round.



    

                   

I-I'm afraid it's not much of a play



    

                   

but I took a fancy to the part.



    

                   

oh, my dear,



    

                   

please don't weep. you're nervous.



    

                   

and nerves are the respect

we pay our audience.



    

                   

it was only the first few moments.



    

                   

after that, you were

splendid, quite splendid.



    

                   

thank you, miss Lambert. of course.



    

                   

thank you so much.



    

                   

good night, miss

Crichton, and thank you.



    

                   

you're so good at being blind.



    

                   

oh, thank you.



    

                   

ask her.



    

                   

miss Lambert,



    

                   

is it true



    

                   

you're putting on a new play soon?



    

                   

yes.



    

                   

if there's a part for me in it,



    

                   

could I audition for you?



    

                   

I'll tell Mr. Gosselyn about you.



    

                   

if you were to put

in a good word for me,



    

                   

that would help so much.



    

                   

I take my husband's advice

more often than he does mine.



    

                   

oh, and good night. please, cheer up.



    

                   

you should go a long way.



    

                   

you didn't think much of her, did you?



    

                   

on the contrary, I think

a great deal of her.



    

                   

she's so energetic.



    

                   

I don't feel like going to a restaurant.



    

                   

Bolton, straight home, please.



    

                   

Michael's away. we can talk.



    

                   

tell me,



    

                   

have you been to bed

with Avice Crichton?



    

                   

of course not.



    

                   

why not? she's pretty.



    

                   

she's not that sort

of girl. I respect her.



    

                   

hmm, do you know what I think?



    

                   

I think you're madly in love with her.



    

                   

are you?



    

                   

there's no need to

break up the happy home.



    

                   

yeah, I'm sorry. I don't

know why I did that.



    

                   

you did it



    

                   

because you haven't the

guts to tell me the truth.



    

                   

you're in love with

that girl, aren't you?



    

                   

why not admit it?



    

                   

is it because you think



    

                   

it would harm her

chances of playing Sybil



    

                   

in the new play?



    

                   

you ought to know me well enough by now



    

                   

that I would never let sentiment

interfere with business.



    

                   

what do you mean?



    

                   

I think she's rather a find.



    

                   

I'll tell Michael.



    

                   

I'll insist she plays the part.



    

                   

oh, Julia, you're wonderful.



    

                   

hell, I'm so fond of you.



    

                   

you...



    

                   

I'm fond of you.



    

                   

I've liked going to bed with you.



    

                   

and it pleases me to think



    

                   

that you liked going to bed with me.



    

                   

but let's face it.



    

                   

I've never been in love with you



    

                   

and you,



    

                   

you've never been in love with me.



    

                   

we both knew it couldn't last.



    

                   

hmm.



    

                   

you're in love with

that girl, aren't you?



    

                   

you might as well admit it.



    

                   

yes.



    

                   

go now. please.



    

                   

for Christ's sake, Julia,



    

                   

what do you think you're doing?



    

                   

you disappoint me.



    

                   

oh, dear, oh, dear, you really do.



    

                   

after all I've taught you?



    

                   

you can't just stand there



    

                   

like a spare prick at a wedding.



    

                   

for Christ's sake,

Julia, assert yourself.



    

                   

it's you that matters. you. only you.



    

                   

all's fair with love

and the theatre, ducky.



    

                   

no one will ever know

how much I loved him.



    

                   

he was my earth, my moon,



    

                   

and all the stars in the firmament.



    

                   

farewell, my love.



    

                   

oh, evening, Mr. Gosselyn.



    

                   

I didn't expect you back tonight.



    

                   

how was the golf?



    

                   

erratic.



    

                   

how was the girl?



    

                   

oh.



    

                   

brilliant. really?



    

                   

very talented.



    

                   

yes, but can she act?



    

                   

oh, she has to play Sybil.



    

                   

she's very pretty. audition her.



    

                   

you'll see what I mean.



    

                   

I saw the play tonight.



    

                   

hmm. we took   calls.



    

                   

Julia, I've got something to say to you.



    

                   

don't fly into temper, just listen.



    

                   

what is it?



    

                   

why did you give such

a lousy performance?



    

                   

a lousy performance? mmm-hmm.



    

                   

that just shows how little you know.



    

                   

I've never acted better in my life.



    

                   

balls. you were awful.



    

                   

they adored me tonight.



    

                   

the public are jackasses.



    

                   

you were barnstorming.



    

                   

false from beginning to end.



    

                   

how dare you speak to me like that,



    

                   

you little shit?



    

                   

get out of my room! what do you know?



    

                   

you can strike me,



    

                   

you can swear at me, you

can yell the roof off.



    

                   

the fact remains that your

acting has gone all to hell.



    

                   

and I'm not going to

start rehearsing  nowadays



    

                   

with you playing up like a drama

queen suffering from asthma.



    

                   

get someone else to play the part!



    

                   

don't be stupid, Julia!



    

                   

I'm taking the play off on Saturday.



    

                   

and then I want you to go abroad.



    

                   

have a break.



    

                   

go and see your mother in jersey.



    

                   

we'll start rehearsing

nowadays when you...



    

                   

when you get back.



    

                   

am I really that bad?



    

                   

yes.



    

                   

don't let the world

outside cheapen your gifts.



    

                   

and what Jimmie Langton used to say:



    

                   

"your only reality is the theatre."



    

                   

I hate myself. I'm a slut.



    

                   

I'm just a rotten bitch.

rotten through and through.



    

                   

nevertheless, you're a great actress.



    

                   

not tonight.



    

                   

no. not tonight.



    

                   

oh, darling, I'm--I'm

tired out. I...



    

                   

so stupid of

me. I should--



    

                   

you're right. you're right.



    

                   

the only thing is to go away.



    

                   

thank you.



    

                   

it's so good to see you.



    

                   

and no drafts,



    

                   

that's very important, Julia, dear.



    

                   

aunt Carrie and I will be very careful



    

                   

to see that you never sit in a draft.



    

                   

and you must wear

socks and woolen vests.



    

                   

I would sooner wear a shroud.



    

                   

oh, well, we will

discuss it in the morning.



    

                   

miss Avice Crichton.



    

                   

good afternoon.



    

                   

good afternoon.



    

                   

I'm Michael Gosselyn.



    

                   

good afternoon, Mr. Gosselyn.



    

                   

what are you going to do for us?



    

                   

I thought I'd do something

from  twelfth night.



    

                   

viola.



    

                   

good. in your own time.



    

                   

"make me a willow cabin at your gate



    

                   

and call upon my soul within the house"



    

                   

now do it as if you've got a cold.



    

                   

I beg your pardon?



    

                   

can you do it again,



    

                   

but this time



    

                   

as if you've got a bad cold in the nose.



    

                   

"make me a

willow cabin at your gate



    

                   

"and call upon my soul within the house



    

                   

"write loyal cantons of contemned love



    

                   

"and sing them loud

even in the dead of night



    

                   

halloo

your name--"



    

                   

thank you. can you do a sneeze?



    

                   

a what?



    

                   

can you do a good, big sneeze?



    

                   

I think so.



    

                   

I've got it. tom, I've got it!



    

                   

- I've got it!

- you got it!



    

                   

she's coming.



    

                   

don't over-dramatize, dear.



    

                   

just say, "here's a telegram,"



    

                   

as if it's the most

natural thing in the world.



    

                   

yes, but I hate telegrams.



    

                   

um, Julia, dear,



    

                   

sit down and, uh, don't be alarmed.



    

                   

what's happened?



    

                   

well, I'm afraid there's

a telegram for you.



    

                   

oh.



    

                   

oh, how lovely.



    

                   

I only realize now



    

                   

how terribly I've missed

you all these months.



    

                   

and I you. god, I've missed you.



    

                   

come on, tell me all the gossip.



    

                   

oh, let's see.



    

                   

johnny gore-barker has run

off with Bunty Robinson.



    

                   

no. yeah.



    

                   

he can't have.



    

                   

she looks like the back of a bus.



    

                   

oh, I don't think johnny gore-barker

knows what a bus is, front or back.



    

                   

everyone's talking about this new girl,



    

                   

but of course you know

that. what new girl?



    

                   

the one who's to be in your next play.



    

                   

her name's Avice Crichton,

something like that.



    

                   

Michael says she's to

be the new Julia Lambert.



    

                   

yes, yes, he wrote to me.



    

                   

it was my idea. I'm delighted.



    

                   

she's very pretty.



    

                   

how madly generous of you.



    

                   

and London was

full of your mischief, Julia.



    

                   

was it?



    

                   

it sounds as if you

needed a hand to hold.



    

                   

are you through the worst?



    

                   

I think my vanity



    

                   

was more wounded than my heart.



    

                   

I'm so sorry, Julia,

sorry that you've suffered.



    

                   

I love you. I always have. always will.



    

                   

Charles, we're miles from home.



    

                   

there's no one here who knows us.



    

                   

just... honey...



    

                   

what?



    

                   

don't let your vanity

be wounded again, um.



    

                   

I'm not worth it.



    

                   

there'd be no reason.



    

                   

I love you

in--in my own way.



    

                   

Julia, we've always

known what that means.



    

                   

you can't be in the

theatre and that naive.



    

                   

I love you more than you can imagine.



    

                   

but...



    

                   

but what?



    

                   

I play for the other side.



    

                   

Charles.



    

                   

oh, darling.



    

                   

hello.



    

                   

oh, grace.



    

                   

I'm so happy you're with us!



    

                   

well, it's not much of a

part, but it is the west end.



    

                   

hello, dear.



    

                   

hello, Michael,



    

                   

I'd like to introduce

our distinguished author,



    

                   

Mr. Walter Gibbs.



    

                   

oh, I can't tell you



    

                   

how proud I am that you're on  nowadays.



    

                   

how sweet of you.



    

                   

but you've given me a monstrous

speech at the end of the play.



    

                   

I hope I can learn it.



    

                   

you remember miss Crichton.



    

                   

miss Lambert. oh, how could I forget.



    

                   

she's playing Sybil.



    

                   

miss Lambert, I just

want you to know--



    

                   

have you seen tom recently?



    

                   

uh, once or twice.



    

                   

miss Lambert, I just want you to know



    

                   

I'm going to give my all in this part.



    

                   

I'll give it my absolute all.



    

                   

now, now, you mustn't

be a little spendthrift.



    

                   

all right, everybody, we'll start.



    

                   

yeah.



    

                   

so, if you'll find a chair.



    

                   

"oh, Millicent,



    

                   

"then I asked if he could help me.



    

                   

"I asked if he would give

me a letter to the bank.



    

                   

"he lifted the towel.



    

                   

"his nose was bright red

and his eyes were streaming.



    

                   

"he looked awful. he said:



    

                   

I'm afraid I

have a nasty cold in my nose."



    

                   

good.



    

                   

"I hope you didn't catch it from him.



    

                   

you can't afford a cold

with so much to do."



    

                   

go on.



    

                   

"then he sneezed.



    

                   

"I don't think I've ever

heard such a sneeze, Millicent.



    

                   

"it began with a

monstrous intake of breath.



    

                   

"wait, wait. I'll show you.



    

                   

"I said, 'bless you.'



    

                   

"and he said, 'I won't say thank you



    

                   

as it's meant

to bring misfortune."



    

                   

"we should have seen through him.



    

                   

"then it would never have happened.



    

                   

"but nowadays



    

                   

"we're only interested in appearances.



    

                   

and he did have the most

beautiful appearance."



    

                   

uh, mumbo-jumbo. bad

luck to say the last line.



    

                   

right, well, I think

we should call it a morning.



    

                   

all right?



    

                   

couldn't be better.



    

                   

good reading. pleased with the company?



    

                   

you've cast it splendidly.



    

                   

the girl's clever, isn't she?



    

                   

yes, isn't she?



    

                   

well, give my love to Roger. ta.



    

                   

I wouldn't say this to your face,



    

                   

so I'll say it

to your back.



    

                   

I've missed you.



    

                   

and I've missed you, Evie.



    

                   

I did the usual things.



    

                   

I saw the sights. worked

hard at my Italian.



    

                   

and went to the opera a good deal.



    

                   

have you made up your mind

what you're going to do yet?



    

                   

I want to stop living



    

                   

in an atmosphere of make-believe.



    

                   

that's your world, not mine.



    

                   

and it stifles me.



    

                   

what do you mean?



    

                   

once, when I was a kid,



    

                   

I was standing in the

wings watching you on-stage.



    

                   

it must've been a pretty moving scene



    

                   

because I couldn't stop blubbing.



    

                   

you moved to the side of the stage



    

                   

near where I was standing



    

                   

and you turned your back on

the audience, and you said,



    

                   

in your ordinary voice:



    

                   

"what the bloody hell the

electrician thought he was doing



    

                   

with the bright lights."



    

                   

and then in the same breath,

with a great cry of anguish



    

                   

you just went on with the scene.



    

                   

that was acting.



    

                   

if I-- if

I truly felt



    

                   

all the emotions I was representing,



    

                   

I'd be a wreck.



    

                   

you have a performance for everyone.



    

                   

for the servants, for

daddy, for everybody.



    

                   

and I don't think you really exist.



    

                   

Roger!



    

                   

once you told me something.

I don't remember exactly what,



    

                   

but the exact same night



    

                   

you said the same line on the stage.



    

                   

even the things you say are second hand.



    

                   

all I want is for you to be happy.



    

                   

you should talk this

over with your father.



    

                   

mmm, daddy's worse than you are.



    

                   

but he only acts one part, thank god,



    

                   

and that's the

handsomest man in England.



    

                   

then talk it over with

someone of your own age, then.



    

                   

tom, for instance.



    

                   

tom?



    

                   

I thought you liked him.



    

                   

no, I didn't like him at all.



    

                   

you've dropped him, haven't you?



    

                   

I...



    

                   

I suppose I have, more or less.



    

                   

good. he wasn't worthy of you.



    

                   

Roger, do you think I'm getting old?



    

                   

no, not you.



    

                   

mmm, tom's little tart's

in your play, I hear.



    

                   

by the way,



    

                   

she's having a fling with daddy.



    

                   

"how's your

cousin Millicent?"



    

                   

and I said you were well.



    

                   

he wanted to

know-- Michael,



    

                   

I'm not happy



    

                   

sitting beside her on the bench.



    

                   

after all, it's miss Crichton's scene,



    

                   

I think I'm too dominant here.



    

                   

well, move if you want to, but where?



    

                   

there, on the stool, with

my back to the audience.



    

                   

all I am is a feed in this scene



    

                   

and it--it

feels wrong



    

                   

to be on equal footing

with miss Crichton.



    

                   

I don't mind, really, miss Lambert.



    

                   

no, no, no, no,



    

                   

I'm uncomfortable. it feels ungenerous.



    

                   

Michael, what if I'm discovered there



    

                   

when the scene starts?



    

                   

I could sit facing the swing.



    

                   

then I don't have to move.



    

                   

I can stay here



    

                   

right until miss Crichton's exit.



    

                   

to thunderous

applause, I've no doubt. hmm?



    

                   

well, I'm--I'm quite

happy to try it.



    

                   

go from the top.



    

                   

how was your

interview with sir Philip?



    

                   

oh!



    

                   

it was like a scene out of dickens.



    

                   

he had

the most dread--



    

                   

you see? it's much better

with me here, isn't it?



    

                   

well, yes, it is,



    

                   

as long as you don't mind being

stuck down there for    minutes.



    

                   

mind? why should I mind? I suggested it.



    

                   

lower. lower.



    

                   

that's right.



    

                   

it was like a scene out of dickens.



    

                   

he had the most dreadful cold.



    

                   

so I said,



    

                   

"should I come back another time?



    

                   

and he said:



    

                   

"no, no, no, no, no, no."



    

                   

thank you,



    

                   

and then give me all

the light you've got.



    

                   

can't do comedy in the dark.



    

                   

dolly, darling.



    

                   

how's it all going?



    

                   

splendid. how was--

how was France?



    

                   

splendid. how's Julia?



    

                   

splendid. and the new girl?



    

                   

we're ready, Mr. Gosselyn.

thank you, Mr. turnbull.



    

                   

dolly, have a seat.



    

                   

thank you, uh, miss Lambert,



    

                   

Mr. Dexter, miss Crichton on the stage.



    

                   

hold the banging.



    

                   

Michael.



    

                   

I say, that's awfully plain, Julia.



    

                   

precisely. but I want it for   reasons.



    

                   

firstly, it's awfully

good for the quick change,



    

                   

just hooks up the back.



    

                   

second, I simply don't want in any way



    

                   

to distract from miss Crichton.



    

                   

all right. happy, Archie?



    

                   

trousers need shortening a bit,



    

                   

but that's all.



    

                   

and miss Crichton?



    

                   

I don't think it fits her properly.



    

                   

especially at the waist.



    

                   

and she's got such a pretty figure,



    

                   

I think it needs to come

in at least half an inch.



    

                   

I don't like it.



    

                   

Julia's being far too angelic.



    

                   

of all the boys I've

known, and I've known some



    

                   

until I first met you I was lonesome



    

                   

and when you came in sight, dear



    

                   

my heart grew light and this

old world seemed new to me



    

                   

you're really swell I have to admit



    

                   

you deserve expressions

that really fit you



    

                   

"nowadays from j. l."

and the date. very nice.



    

                   

here's the list. can

you wrap each separately



    

                   

and have them sent round to the theatre



    

                   

no later than  :   this evening?



    

                   

of course, miss Lambert.



    

                   

I'm so looking forward

to seeing the play.



    

                   

it will

make a beautiful gift.



    

                   

yeah.



    

                   

t-o-m.



    

                   

Julia.



    

                   

are you getting engaged to Avice?



    

                   

oh, this. oh, no. no,

it's a first-night gift.



    

                   

she doesn't want to get engaged.



    

                   

wants her freedom.



    

                   

doesn't want anything to

interfere with her career.



    

                   

her what?



    

                   

oh, yes, I--I

see what you mean.



    

                   

I'm going to be there tonight.

Michael's given me a box.



    

                   

will that be all, sir?



    

                   

yes.



    

                   

tom, how about giving me tea?



    

                   

at your place. for old times' sake.



    

                   

why not?



    

                   

give Avice this. hmm?



    

                   

it may bring her luck.



    

                   

I have in my hand,

this piece of paper



    

                   

signed by me,  herr

Hitler, and Benito macaroni



    

                   

in Munich.



    

                   

it is for peace in our time.



    

                   

however, if there is a war,



    

                   

then their majesties, the king and queen



    

                   

and their   lovely daughters,



    

                   

Elizabeth and Margaret rose



    

                   

and me and the entire cabinet



    

                   

will set sail immediately for Canada!



    

                   

you will stay here!



    

                   

break a leg.



    

                   

you're going

to be a sensation.



    

                   

terribly sorry.



    

                   

same from me, Julia.



    

                   

and you're coming to the

party tonight, aren't you?



    

                   

of course, wouldn't

miss it. thank you both.



    

                   

yes, thank you. thank you.



    

                   

yes.



    

                   

you don't have a whisky handy?



    

                   

no, no, no, not here. I've

got all that set up in the bar.



    

                   

darling, we'll see you later.



    

                   

dolly, I'll do the other dressing

rooms and I'll see you in the foyer.



    

                   

uh, bring our distinguished

author with you, will you?



    

                   

yes, of course.



    

                   

are--

are we leaving?



    

                   

half an hour, miss Lambert.



    

                   

so--so--so

sorry.



    

                   

hello, Mr. Dexter.



    

                   

it's me.



    

                   

half an hour

please, miss Crichton.



    

                   

oh, Michael.



    

                   

thank you for everything, Michael.



    

                   

here's your first-night present.



    

                   

I'm putting you under contract.



    

                   

Michael. here it is.



    

                   

sign on the front.



    

                   

here you are.



    

                   

oh, thank you.



    

                   

good evening, Mrs. de vries.



    

                   

good evening, Roger.



    

                   

Charles.



    

                   

aunt dolly.



    

                   

sweetheart, don't call me aunty.



    

                   

um, we should be going in.



    

                   

oh, yes.



    

                   

I'm nervous. I'm going to get a drink.



    

                   

it's that way. it's that way.



    

                   

join us upstairs. got your ticket?



    

                   

the first stage, come on.



    

                   

sir.



    

                   

thank you.



    

                   

no, no, no, no, no, no.



    

                   

he did have the

most beautiful appearance.



    

                   

no, no, no, no, no, no. no, no, no.



    

                   

no, that one, you silly cow. quickly.



    

                   

what are you up to?



    

                   

well, give it.



    

                   

how was your interview with sir Philip?



    

                   

it was like a scene out of dickens.



    

                   

he had the most dreadful cold.



    

                   

he was in--in

bed, inhaling.



    

                   

so

I--



    

                   

so I said,



    

                   

"should I come back another time?"



    

                   

and he said:



    

                   

"no, no."



    

                   

I used to do that as a child.



    

                   

I was very prone to colds.



    

                   

in my nose. I sneezed a good deal.



    

                   

I was always inhaling



    

                   

over steaming water and camphorated oil.



    

                   

oh, Millicent.



    

                   

then I asked if he could help me.



    

                   

I asked

if he would give me



    

                   

a letter to the bank.



    

                   

he lifted the towel.



    

                   

his nose was bright red

and his eyes were streaming.



    

                   

he looked awful. he said:



    

                   

"I'm afraid I

have a nasty cold in my nose."



    

                   

you're lying to me, Sybil.



    

                   

you're not putting on that cold



    

                   

because you've caught it

from sir Philip, haven't you?



    

                   

who wrote this balls?



    

                   

was it because

you snuggled up beside him?



    

                   

was it because he made a pass at you?



    

                   

tell me the truth, Sybil.



    

                   

he sneezed.



    

                   

oh.



    

                   

I don't think



    

                   

I've ever heard such

a sneeze, Millicent.



    

                   

it began with a monstrous

intake of breath.



    

                   

wait, wait. I'll show you.



    

                   

I said...



    

                   

oh, my god.



    

                   

"bless you."



    

                   

"bless you."



    

                   

I said, "bless you."



    

                   

and he said, "I won't say thank you



    

                   

as it's meant to bring misfortune."



    

                   

misfortune, indeed.



    

                   

no, now I get it!



    

                   

now I understand!



    

                   

you're dilly-dallying with

sir Philip and young ben.



    

                   

no wonder you caught a cold.



    

                   

shame on you, Sybil.



    

                   

which is it to be?



    

                   

the old man or the young boy?



    

                   

silly question, I suppose.

I know which one I'd choose.



    

                   

no, no, no, no, don't you go.



    

                   

stay exactly where you are.

I haven't finished with you.



    

                   

not remotely.



    

                   

I want to know.



    

                   

did he make a pass at you



    

                   

or did you make a pass at him?



    

                   

I'm talking about the old man now,



    

                   

not the young boy.



    

                   

my god, this is complicated!



    

                   

god!



    

                   

god, god.



    

                   

oh, no, no, don't cry.



    

                   

it'll only make you more miserable!



    

                   

I'll tell you what I

think happened. huh?



    

                   

sir Philip got a little fresh with you,



    

                   

didn't he?



    

                   

and you, you, you, you couldn't resist.



    

                   

it's rather difficult to get fresh



    

                   

when you have a cold.



    

                   

what did he say?



    

                   

"please, please,



    

                   

make an old man happy."



    

                   

naughty, Sybil, very naughty.



    

                   

trying to have sir Philip on the side.



    

                   

and I've always found

it very uncomfortable



    

                   

on the side.



    

                   

I think we should

punish him, don't you?



    

                   

or you.



    

                   

perhaps we should punish you.



    

                   

but how? that's the question: how?



    

                   

hmm?



    

                   

I know. we'll tell ben.



    

                   

oh, don't pretend you've

forgotten him. ben.



    

                   

b-e-n.



    

                   

oh, dear, have I upset you?



    

                   

never mind, Sybil.



    

                   

just remember all's fair in war and...



    

                   

war and...



    

                   

oh, hell, the word escapes me.



    

                   

bravo!

bravo!



    

                   

bravo!



    

                   

you're a monster.



    

                   

a wonderful, glorious monster.



    

                   

it was great! you were superb!



    

                   

sweetheart.



    

                   

a real tour de force. yes.



    

                   

don't change a word.

keep it just like that.



    

                   

god, I hope-- I hope I

can remember what I said.



    

                   

you're so naughty.



    

                   

that's why you love me.



    

                   

yes.



    

                   

that cow!



    

                   

she is vile, disgusting, cruel.



    

                   

she is a double-dyed bitch!



    

                   

we have a hit, tom. a

palpable hit, my boy.



    

                   

I want to leave.



    

                   

I never want to act again.



    

                   

don't be so silly, you were wonderful.



    

                   

absolutely superb.



    

                   

and now you're under contract.



    

                   

it's clear the play's

going to run and run.



    

                   

so you'll have the opportunity

to hone your performance.



    

                   

just think,   shows a week for a year,



    

                   

playing opposite Julia Lambert.



    

                   

it'll be an experience

you'll never forget.



    

                   

just have a great time, have fun.



    

                   

no! no!



    

                   

you're still the greatest

actress in England.



    

                   

I'm going now. see you at the party.



    

                   

and try not to be late.



    

                   

it's going to be simply heavenly.



    

                   

I'll be there.



    

                   

splendid. oh, darling.



    

                   

magnificent. absolutely wonderful.



    

                   

they asked me how I knew



    

                   

my true love was true



    

                   

champagne,

mademoiselle Lambert?



    

                   

no. beer. a pint.



    

                   

everyone here is talking about



    

                   

how wonderful you were tonight.



    

                   

ah, thank you.



    

                   

cannot be denied



    

                   

they said someday you'll find



    

                   

all who love are blind



    

                   

your only reality is the theatre.



    

                   

anything else, the outside world,



    

                   

what civilians call the real world,



    

                   

is nothing but fantasy.



    

                   

and I bloody well

won't let you forget it.



    

                   

rubbish.



    

                   

are you expecting a guest?



    

                   

shall I place another plate?



    

                   

no, thank you, Antoine.



    

                   

I've decided not to go

to the first-night party.



    

                   

I want to dine alone tonight.



    

                   

quite alone.



    

                   

yet today



    

                   

my love has flown away



    

                   

I am without



    

                   

my love



    

                   

now laughing friends deride



    

                   

tears I cannot hide



    

                   

so I smile and say



    

                   

when a lovely flame dies



    

                   

smoke gets in your eyes



    

                   

so I chaffed them



    

                   

and I gaily laughed to think



    

                   

they could doubt my love



    

                   

yet today



    

                   

my love has flown away



    

                   

I am without



    

                   

my love



    

                   

now laughing friends deride



    

                   

tears I cannot hide



    

                   

so I smile and say



    

                   

when a lovely flame dies



    

                   

smoke gets in your eyes









 
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