Voila! Finally, the Big Bounce
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie based on the Elmore Leonard
book starring Owen Wilson, Morgan Freeman, Gary Sinise, Sara Foster, yadda
yadda. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Big Bounce. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
For a long time I've been walking
down life's road with my two pals...
...bad luck and bad choices.
Fortunately, I'm a big believer
in new beginnings, new friends...
...and running from my problems.
So one day I decided to head
for the Islands.
Aloha. My name is Jack.
Start here. All the way down the line.
Rolling.
Ain't gonna get no work done today with
these Menehune huggers blocking the site.
Mr. Ritchie's gonna take care
of these assholes, chop-chop.
I've got a hotel to build. I don't care how
many Hawaiians got their blood spilled here.
If they so much as scratch
Mr. Ritchie's car when he shows, he'll shit.
Yeah, I'll get up there. Now, take it easy
on me because I got a bad shoulder here.
- Serve me one up.
- What are you doing?
- I'll smack one down Frank's throat.
- No.
- I'm gonna hit one.
- Put your tool belt on.
Harris, ease up.
We're just having some fun.
Yeah, Frank, you get back to work.
Now!
What? Just like that? No more game?
You'll go back to desecrating
these people's land, blowing up palm trees?
We can go blow up palm trees later.
I just want one pitch.
Come on, I think it's messing
with our karma.
- I need the work.
- Yeah, you do.
- Come on, Frank, be part of us.
- Hey, you shut up, coconut nigger.
Did he just say "coconut nigger"? Harris,
Harris, Harris, you can't say coconut nigger.
- Oh, I can't?
- Well, not really in this day and age.
- You're fired.
- Why?
- Get off the premises.
- These aren't your premises. This is...
- Are you joking?
- I'm gonna kick your ass.
- Kick my ass? This is a bat.
- It's just aluminum.
- Just a wimp.
- Threatening me?
No, but I'll hit you because
you're really big and crazy...
...and you're scaring me right now.
I'm gonna hit you.
That dislocated the jaw.
Walter, let me read you
Mr. Harris' statement.
"I found Jack and some others playing
ball. I politely asked them to stop...
...as Mr. Ritchie would not be happy
with this situation.
I told Jack he was under my supervision
when he told me to do an unprintable thing.
So I told him to put the bat down, but he
came at me before I could defend myself."
And got fungoed.
- So, what do you think, judge?
- Good, quick hands.
He's also got an interesting rap sheet.
Got a couple of breaking and enterings,
no convictions.
He's got a bunco rap here. Suspected of
conning a police officer out of some money.
- They always wind up here, don't they?
- Hawaii is sort of the end of the line.
They never seem to go on to Tokyo.
We ought to put him in jail,
let him work on his swing a bit.
Let's just keep an eye on him.
He did manage to shut down
Ray Ritchie's construction site for a bit.
Standup guy in my book.
I hope you enjoyed your stay with us.
Just sign that at the bottom.
Your company dropped off your paycheck...
...which ought to be a good head start
in getting you off the island.
I had a harp, a harmonica.
Neither one.
A Hohner. You didn't see...?
Why would anyone want
a prisoner's used harmonica?
Would you like to look back
in your cell for more days for it?
No, I wouldn't.
You can pick a new one
up at Waialua...
Why don't you buy one in Honolulu, sport.
I'll put you on the Pearl Shuttle today.
That's all right. I'll see you.
Better not.
Now what?
You don't work for me anymore,
so I don't have to help you out.
Fair enough.
I will tell you something
for your own good.
Go back to the mainland.
What, miss the big surf season?
Are you crazy? I live for these big waves.
You club a foreman in front of his men,
someone will knife you...
...so fast you won't even feel it.
Well, I got a long walk ahead of me.
Thanks for the tip, Bob Jr.
I'll be seeing you around.
Jack, Mr. Ritchie got you out
because we got a hotel to build.
And it won't get built with
all the workers in courtrooms.
The quicker you shut up, the quicker
I'm gone. I got a long walk ahead of me.
And then you're out of here?
- I'm gone.
- I'll give you a ride to your truck.
Now you're talking.
You'd have been a big hit in jail.
- Don't touch me.
- Seriously.
Nancy.
Come on, I got a lot to do today.
What do you want me to do when
your wife comes back from Honolulu?
You go to the lodge.
What, slip out the back door
as she comes in the front? Like this?
I'll be back next Thursday.
If you don't like this, Bob Jr. can drive you
past Cane Haul Road, where you came from.
Well, it's nice to know
you can't live without me, Ray.
Did I make any promises to you?
We're clear?
Do I owe you anything?
Ray Ritchie, always the businessman.
You're a cute kid, Nancy.
If I had to replace you,
it'd probably take me most of the day.
Think I don't know
you're up to something?
Who are you fooling with?
You, Ray.
Get dressed. You're coming with me.
Hurry up, get your skinny ass moving.
Come on, I don't have all day.
- Hey, there he is!
- Yeah, he's our brother!
Show them, man.
Give the man a bat.
Brother, you the man.
Yeah.
You missed a spot. Beat it, Frank.
I'm taking The Alison out for a cruise.
We'll moor it in Lanikuhonua.
- Then I'm heading to Honolulu.
- Excellent.
- Is that him?
- Yes, sir.
- He's been arrested before, huh?
- A few times.
- What for?
- Various scams. B and E, mostly.
What's "B and E"?
Breaking and entering.
That ought to turn you on.
Mr. Ritchie, you want to get rid of me
bad enough to give me a lift?
Sure, cowboy.
But not bad enough to drive
with you to Honolulu.
Mahalo, anyway.
- Dude, wait till I tell you what I found.
- No, pass.
- What do you mean? I didn't say anything.
- I'm semi-retired.
- I know what you're gonna say.
- No. What you are is out of a job.
This is the place I've been telling you
about, and I can't do it without you.
Let me explain it simply. I just did a short
visit to jail. That's enough for a while.
- It was a pain in the ass. I'm taking a break.
- I've been casing this all summer.
Don't make me waste that work.
One quick look, that's all I'm asking.
We're talking about a fat goose.
Hear what I'm saying?
You're looking at the new me.
Come on. Come take a look.
- You still owe Harris money?
- I don't wanna talk about that.
I'm gonna take one look.
Would you do it for me?
- I would do it for you.
- Okay.
- Okay. One look. One look.
- Beautiful.
- What do you think?
- How many we got?
I count cars,
but they're all down at the beach.
Okay. You wait here.
- Yes.
- Anybody comes, you still wait here.
- Oh, what if, like, the cops come by?
- Just watch them roll by. Are you nervous?
- Are you having second thoughts?
- I just wanna make sure I'm doing it right.
- Everything's cool.
- Who's ever sure if it's cool?
Let me just open...
Bad start here.
Getting a little sloppy here.
What are we doing?
We're just delivering beer.
No crime in that. Not yet, at least.
They haven't outlawed that.
Hello.
You guys order some beer?
Hey.
Hi. Aloha. I'm Wendy
with the Haleiwa Party Planners.
- Yeah, we thought you'd never make it.
- I know. We're just swamped today. Sorry.
- You're a mermaid.
- Yeah, you ordered the Catch of the Day.
Yeah, yeah. We made the right choice.
- Flippers and all. Wow.
- Great.
- I'll turn you loose there in the kitchen.
- Okay.
Your flippers clean? Just the floors.
We had to give a cleaning deposit.
- Okay.
- They look all right.
- That little shimmering stuff looks good.
- Thanks.
- Give it to me. Give it to me.
- Hold it, hold it, get over here.
Give me my cut.
You're gonna be happy with this one.
- What is this?
- What's what?
- Dude, this is . You said we made six.
- Yeah, right.
Yeah, but is your cut.
That's the going rate for hiding in the truck.
Come on, I'm in the hole to Harris.
I wasn't hiding in the truck.
- I'm not a rich man.
- Jack, please.
- Thanks.
- Hold it.
Take the wallets and the box...
...go get rid of them behind
Kammie's Market, in the dumpsters.
Absolutely.
We should do this again soon.
You know, they got a video
of you batting Harris?
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
How did you happen to see it?
Well, if Harris hadn't dropped the charges,
the trial would've been in my court.
I'm the D.J. here.
District judge, among other things.
I'm glad you sat down. Let me ask you,
if they dropped the charges...
...how come they're telling me to leave?
- Can't make you leave...
...unless they make something up.
There we are. Thank you.
What's this for?
Chamber of commerce, welcome wagon.
Now, for what it's worth, kid, I think
you're better off out from under Ray Ritchie.
- You're not a fan of Ray Ritchie's?
- Don't like the way he does things.
See, he's supposed to be in Chapter .
Any businessman knows, if you're bankrupt,
you can't afford to build that hotel.
Are you a businessman?
I got a little resort spot.
Surf camp.
I guess Ray's big, ugly hotel
wouldn't be so great for your business.
No, not at all.
It's just the way he treats us locals.
You got a bunch of little cabins
over near the beach?
Keiki Vista? Shit.
- I've got bungalows, my man.
- Bungalows?
Bungalows. Bedroom, kitchen, bath.
The whole works.
You wanna see a pretty girl?
She's practically undressing me
with her eyes there.
Do you know that guy she's sitting with?
Bob Jr.? He's Ray Ritchie's flunky.
His old man and I play dominoes together.
What's that girl's name?
Nancy-something.
She's Ray's assistant.
But that's a euphemism.
Kind of young to be a euphemism,
isn't she?
Word of warning.
She's been in my court a couple of times.
- This girl?
- Started young.
Looks so sweet.
Yeah. One of those unfortunate girls
who's turned on by the criminal type.
Poor girl.
I wonder what she's doing
with Bob Jr.
Bob's old man, dumb-shit,
undersold all of his property to Ray Ritchie.
Don't look now,
but Dumbshit Jr.'s coming over.
- Bob.
- Are you trying to be cute?
Now, Junior, who can be cute
with you around?
- This is company business, Walter.
- Does he work for you?
No. We paid him off,
and he agreed to leave.
You paid him off because you owed him.
Now he doesn't work for you anymore.
Right? Right.
So if he doesn't want to go anywhere,
he doesn't have to. Right? Right.
- Right.
- You letting him fight your battles for you?
Yeah. Seems to be doing a good job.
Right.
If I wasn't with someone I might just pick
your ass up and carry you out of here.
You might have to if Walter keeps buying
me beer. I'm all liquored up.
I'm just trying to keep my wits about me.
Look, Junior, I invited this guy
to have a beer, and we're not done.
We might have another one or more. The
point is, you said what you came to say.
So now why don't you just leave.
I get the feeling we're gonna run
into each other again.
And one of us is gonna end up
looking like shit.
I got a head start on you
in that department. It's not fair.
Your Honor.
- Bob Jr. scare you?
- Yeah, he does.
Not as much as that girl, though.
Thank you, there.
Appreciate that.
- You gonna be hanging around here?
- I don't know yet.
Want to come to work at Keiki Vista?
I'll pay you $ ... No.
I'll pay you...
...$ a week and give you a place to
stay that you can fix up. You think it over.
- Hey.
- Hey, yourself.
Hi, I'm Number .
I have a weird showerhead
that just keeps spraying everywhere.
- Think you can fix it?
- Sure.
I just wanna finish what I started here,
then I'll get on it.
- Thanks.
- Thanks, Number .
I want you to check the showerhead
in Number .
I just spoke with her.
So I guess I'm the plumber also.
And the cook and the lifeguard
before I'm through with you.
Does Ray Ritchie live around here?
You mean, does Nancy live around here?
That pimp starter castle up the beach.
Okay, call me when you get there.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
That's great.
Well, same to you.
Oh, really?
Yeah. I was just on the phone with him.
Yeah, he's kind of interesting
in sort of a limited way, for an off night.
Listen, I have to run.
My personal trainer just showed up.
Mahalo.
Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you
like that.
You are good at this B and E thing,
aren't you?
It's more trespassing at this point.
So should I call the police now,
or you gonna tie me up and loot the place?
Call the cops?
You go to this trouble to get me here,
and now you call the cops?
A word of advice.
If you're thinking of scamming Ray Ritchie,
think twice.
Who said anything about scamming?
I came to see if you wanted to surf.
- You, downstairs.
- Let me ask you...
...why were you winking at me in the bar?
- I wasn't winking at you at the bar.
Like hell, you didn't.
- You get scared being here all alone?
- I'm never all alone.
So beautiful.
- This looks like a good one.
- No, not that one. It's too stimulating.
- Let's do something else.
- Like what?
Let's do something
that makes the sex better afterwards.
Sometimes sex makes the sex
better afterwards. I'm old-fashioned.
I don't know what you'd be interested in.
I'm the poor, unfortunate criminal type.
- Yeah, you look dangerous.
- Kind of an outlaw.
You know, I get into things
like stealing cars and...
You know how?
- Please. You wouldn't be interested in that...
- I'll make you a deal.
Why don't you show me how, and I'll
show you something, whatever you want.
Like how to make bail?
I'm starting to get a little nervous.
Is Ray a great boxer or something?
Take your shoes off.
Watch your head.
- Don't be scared.
- This is like a...
Are you serious?
You really want to box?
I win, you show me how to steal a car.
You win, I do whatever you want.
- Put them up.
- Did you grow up on a Marine base?
Just don't use the
"I've never hit a girl" excuse.
I've never hit a girl.
Don't be hitting me on my head
when I'm not looking.
You've just awakened a sleeping giant.
- Tell me everything about yourself.
- No, you first. I need to work on my D.
Okay. I dropped out of high school,
took a trip to Hollywood...
...went broke, came home
and hostessed at a strip club.
Everybody hostesses. Nobody strips.
- Too shy.
- Too shy?
I met Ray and figured him
for an easy mark and...
And I sort of liked him when I found out
he cheats on his taxes.
The arrangement works out fine.
And you?
You're not gonna believe it,
you told my story.
Too shy to strip, so I was a hostess too.
You hit me!
Is that allowed?
- "I've never hit a girl before."
- Come on, let's work on our clinches.
Let's go steal a car.
You happy now? We did it. Stole a car.
- Easy.
- What do we do?
Be cool.
- We're in a stolen car.
- True, but they don't know that.
- Hopefully.
- Hey, boys!
Nancy?
Nancy?
Nancy?
Okay, a little cat-and-mouse.
Well, I'll play the game.
- Nancy!
- Don't look. I'm taking my clothes off.
I get shy at the weirdest times.
It's my party dress.
Mine too.
So is this Mr. Ritchie's boat,
The Alison?
- Who's Alison?
- Take a wild guess.
Mrs. R. God, he must really love her
to name such a great boat after her.
Come here. Come sit down next to me.
So let's have it.
- Have what?
- Just ask me.
So ask me what you want to ask me.
Okay. Have you ever stolen any money?
I'll grab something if it's lying around.
What's the most you ever got?
- Couple hundred bucks.
- Okay.
What if I told you
there was lying around?
- Would you have the nerve to take it?
- We talking about Ray Ritchie's money?
- Wouldn't that make it a little more fun?
- Where would this be lying around?
In his hunting lodge,
up in the Waialua Hills.
- What's he got the money for?
- For the local gangsters.
He wants to make sure there are no more
protesters at the construction site.
- You following?
- Yeah, I follow you.
- How do you know all this?
- Bob Jr. told me.
- And the money just sits there?
- Bob Jr. will be with it.
We'll find a way to grab it.
Two hundred grand's a lot different
from a TV set.
Yeah, it's way lighter.
I'll take a look at the lodge.
Let's have a drink.
You gotta admit this is a great boat.
I mean, even if it is called The Alison.
Wait till you see the one
they name after me.
And I guess now we call it a night.
That was fun. I had a good time.
- Me too.
- Yeah.
- I'll be seeing you.
- Wait, Nancy.
I mean, you wanna have a nightcap?
- We could break into a house or something.
- Okay, yeah.
If you're sure the house is empty,
why are we whispering?
Professional courtesy.
- What's that?
- I don't know, a shrunken head?
God.
Get a room.
And a rubber!
- Oh, hey, Jack. How are you?
- Frank, what...?
- How'd you know I was here?
- The guy outside said this was yours.
- Did he tell you to make yourself at home?
- No, I tried the door and it was open.
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay. I've just had a crazy day.
Well, listen,
I hate to burden you with this, but...
- Can I get you anything?
- Harris has these guys...
...and they're gonna kick my ass
if I don't pay him his money.
- What do you want me to do? Pay him.
- Harris says I know where you're hiding.
First, I'm not really hiding. Second, you
would never tell him where I was hiding...
...because you're my friend.
- I'm not threatening you.
Things will get weird if it seems you're
threatening me and I'm threatening you.
Listen, I'm desperate for this money,
and we're friends, right?
Yeah, we're friends. But it's the type
of friendship where if you're in trouble...
...I probably won't be there for you just like
I wouldn't expect you to be there for me.
It's a more honest friendship. It's not this
phony thing. It's like a genuine friendship.
I can't trust you. You can't trust me.
I'm not taking a bullet for you.
- I'm not gonna jump on a grenade for you.
- Jack, Jack, cut the shit, will you?
- How much do you owe Harris?
- Fifteen hundred.
Dollars? You think I got ?
No, no, but you know
how to get that kind of money.
Okay.
I got one thing I'm working on.
Maybe I can work you in.
Yes, please. Thank you.
Thank you so much. Thanks.
Wait, you wanna tell me
about it now?
- I'm working out details. I'll surprise you.
- Thanks. Thanks, man.
Bravo!
Hey, you went flying off there that time.
- Mahalo.
- Very good dive.
- Appreciate that, Walter.
- Pretty high up there, isn't it?
Well, you ready to try it?
Me? No, I wanna give my food
a chance to settle before I get up there.
Oh, boy, look at that.
Figured out your day off?
Yeah, I was thinking about maybe Friday.
- No, I need you Friday.
- What?
- I've got a meeting.
- What do you got a meeting on?
None of your business.
So tomorrow's better than Friday?
Yeah.
So I hear you found a new friend.
You mean Nancy? No.
She belongs to Ray Ritchie.
- Well, I didn't think he'd given her to you.
- No, she's still Ritchie's.
As long as you remember.
Pretty girl, though.
This house, there's no newspaper out front,
which makes me think that they're home.
Over at that house...
That house is definitely occupied.
Judging from the car, it's an elderly couple.
I get along really well
with my grandmother.
You do? Yeah, me too.
Okay, we'll skip that house.
Then off in the distance, we got
a little happy-hour get-together going on.
Obviously, we're gonna pass. So I think
we're gonna find an empty house.
Where's the rush?
What are you gonna say
if someone comes?
Are the Ambruzazaolas here?
What if that's their name?
- Ambruzazaola?
- Yes.
- What are the odds?
- Where's the bounce?
Here we go.
There. You getting a little bounce?
A little.
Perfect.
- Are you scared?
- No.
Wait, wait, wait.
Where are you going?
- Guess if I have clothes on.
- The guy who lives here is a cop.
- I know. I know. Guess.
- I know the guy.
Guess.
- What is this?
- I don't know.
Son of a bitch, this is my harmonica.
That...
What?
Come here. Come here. Hurry.
Christ, I'm late.
Where'd you tear my shirt off last night?
It may be downstairs. Check, love.
I'm on duty in minutes.
Yes, officer.
- Take that shirt off. Let's go.
- No way. I earned it.
- Take it off.
- No.
- Come on.
- "Yes, officer."
- Not funny.
- Yes, it is.
Did you see that tattoo?
Mercy.
- Aloha, Jack.
- Hey, Number .
- I have to use your bathroom.
- I'm surprised you didn't use the cop's.
What if he'd seen us?
He would have seen his career
and reputation go.
Let me tell you.
He probably would've had to kill us.
There's a fine line between taking a risk
and being an idiot.
Maybe he's fine being gay.
Not everyone's in the closet.
What does that mean?
Hurry.
- What a freak-hole.
- What?
Jack, it's really depressing here.
- I'm depressed.
- This isn't depressing.
It's one of the things I like about it,
is how depressing it is.
It's like where dreams go to die.
You got me here.
Is there something you want to show me?
- Yeah.
- What?
- Come on.
- I'm spoken for.
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
- Let's go peek in windows. It'll be fun.
- Have a heart.
Does the party ever stop here?
How do you handle all the excitement,
one would wonder.
Lock it up. That's my boss.
What do we have here?
Walter is into some kinky shit.
Look at this.
He's a good guy.
He's just watching a dance show.
If he's such a good guy,
don't you feel a little bad scamming him?
I'm not scamming him.
Look at me, I'm not scamming him.
You're working here
like some straight-job front...
...while we're planning a heist on Ray.
It doesn't mean I don't take pride
in my job.
- Should have seen me out there raking.
- Oh, shit.
Hey, man.
- Jack.
- Hey.
- Was that you giggling?
- No.
Must have been Number .
What are you doing
sneaking around here?
I'm not sneaking around.
No, I was just thinking.
Sometimes when I'm thinking,
it looks like I'm sneaking.
- So, what are you thinking about?
- Oh, you know...
- I don't want to bug you.
- Jack...
...you gotta have a little faith.
What, like in God?
Well, God's an imaginary friend
for grownups.
Trick is to know who to have faith in.
I'm gonna give you a hint.
Sometimes things are exactly
as they appear.
Sometimes.
What the heck does that mean?
Get out.
I got something for you.
Mr. Ritchie's private police come by
about this time.
Damn, I don't blame them.
Tell me what you want.
I got these wallets that I'm gonna sell you
for bucks.
The wallets came from a house
that was robbed.
- I take them to the police...
- Take them to the police.
- They'll appreciate help.
- I could leave the case...
...someplace where the police will find it
with Jack's name written on it.
I'm serious, his private police
will be here any minute.
I've been waiting for hours.
No police have come.
So come on, get out.
Okay? So we can talk?
Just a second.
- Hi.
- Want me to look at the showerhead?
- Yeah. Sorry, I was just taking a nap.
- Enjoying your stay?
I love it. I love it.
Impressive.
Yeah. Good job.
All right, if you need anything,
just give me a holler.
Think about it.
Nice work.
Here.
Ray will bring the money here Thursday.
All we have to do is distract Bob Jr.
And cut the phone lines.
Which shouldn't be too hard to do.
Very masculine feel.
What's with the dead moose head
on the wall and the Indian blankets?
- It's a hunting lodge.
- Aloha, it's Hawaii.
Put a lei on its horns or something.
Borrow some Hawaiian shit
from Walter's place.
So you got a plan?
- How you doing, Bob?
- What the hell are you doing here?
- Bob. Easy, Bob.
- A baseball bat? A tree branch?
I got a tire iron in the truck.
- What'd you do that for?
- You said you had a tire iron.
You bastard! Come here.
Come here.
Brutal.
Doesn't work doing that.
You got to put your head forward.
Bullshit.
Put your head forward
and blow your nose and pinch it.
Go on, blow.
That's a lot of blood.
My wife can get the blood out.
Just have her use cold water.
That'll do it.
She'll know what to do.
You all right?
You sure showed him.
Too bad he's not a girl.
- Shut the hell up.
- That's okay.
- It's the thought that counts.
- Count me out.
I don't care how much money
is in the lodge.
I didn't know how or when you'd say that,
but I knew you would.
Police will ask Bob Jr.
if anything strange happened.
- He'll mention this.
- Ray's gonna report...
...his leg-breaking payoff money
was stolen? I'm sure.
Come on, let's talk about it...
...after I've cleaned you up. Okay?
Come on.
Come on. You were wonderful.
- There's no beer in the fridge.
- In the cabinet.
In the cabinet? What are you, British?
Oh, boy.
No beer. Just a bunch of wallets.
Recognize them?
What's the name of the little game
you're playing?
Gee, if I didn't know better, Jack,
I'd think you were a moody guy.
Well, I'll see you later on. Take care.
Frank-something came here last night.
If I didn't give him for the wallets,
he'd go to the cops.
- He settled for .
- You got robbed.
He'd have settled for .
Why did he think you'd care?
He must figure
we have something going.
- He could see the chemistry.
- I guess.
Jack, we cannot afford
a loose cannon here.
From where I'm sitting,
you're the loose cannon.
And as far as Frank goes,
that's his story.
- Jack, I need you.
- I know. Let me think about it.
Okay, I've thought about it.
No, I'm gonna pass.
I'm gonna take these with me.
Jackie.
Oh, come on. That's insulting.
Do you think I'm that easy?
- Maybe I am that easy.
- You are that easy.
- Wait, wait.
- It's probably my mom.
Hold that thought.
Is your mother hot?
What? I want to know
if you look like mother-daughter.
- Easy, Jack.
- Jeez.
Hi, gorgeous.
I got minutes, tops.
Ticktock.
- Where's Mrs. B.J.?
- She's at the beauty parlor.
Getting her hair enlarged?
- You taking a shower?
- No.
I'm just glad to see you.
I was about to.
- Maybe you could use some company.
- No.
I like you un-fresh.
That little bastard sucker punched me.
- No, you kicked his ass.
- You think?
I'm gonna turn the shower off.
- You wait right here.
- Okay.
Who was it down there?
The neighborhood watch,
probably looking for you.
You stay in this bed...
...and we will get honest to God
dirty serious about finishing this.
Come on.
Come on.
- I'll be back.
- Where's my happy ending?
Stop.
- Fifteen minutes and counting.
- Call this an appetizer.
- Main course, Thursday night.
- Call it whatever you want.
Come here.
Come here.
Oh, shit.
- That's got to be Ray.
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Look, I have obligations around here,
okay?
I'll be back in a flash.
Come on.
- You're gonna hate me.
- No, I'm not.
What? What are you doing?
Yeah. Just have your way with me.
- I'll be right back.
- No, what are you doing?
- Come on.
- I told you I'd be quick.
What did Ray want?
He wanted to make sure
that I don't get bored.
Time's up.
- It is not.
- You're not allowing for drive time.
You better cut it out. Teasing's not fair.
Nobody's teasing, Bob. Get your shoes.
I don't want you to get in trouble
with the wifey.
Taste the goods now, it might spoil
your appetite for the date Thursday.
But I'm starving right now.
You better hurry before
whatever-her-name-is gets pissed.
See you at the lodge Thursday.
- Thursday!
- Fuck Thursday!
At : Bob Jr. will be waiting
in the hunting lodge for you.
Take one shot and blow out a window.
Bob Jr.'s kind of a cowboy.
He'll go out, see what's going on.
I'll go in the back and grab the money.
But what if he comes back in?
Blow out another window.
I'll cut the telephone lines,
puncture his tires.
That should give me time to get back
and join Walter for the domino game.
Okay.
Go to sleep.
- Good night.
- Good night.
So you're sure about
your domino-game cover?
You're sure?
Yeah.
- Hello.
- Did you steal my cell phone?
Yes.
Do you know if a guy named Victor
called me?
- Yes, he did.
- What did he say?
He wanted to apologize.
He said stuff in the heat of the moment
he wished he hadn't...
...and hoped that you may forgive him.
- He did?
- Yeah.
That's so sweet.
Think I should call him?
- You have his number?
- Of course I do. Thank you.
- He didn't really call, did he?
- Yeah, he did.
Of course he did.
- Just make that up?
- Jack, last night!
I thought you were walking funny.
- I was just gonna ask you that.
- Wasn't sure if that was my imagination.
Tell me what first attracted you to me.
- Come on, that's corny.
- No, it's not.
I want to know.
It means a lot to me.
You want the truth or the bullshit?
Either.
You're really easy on the eyes,
but it was really more than that.
It was more a sort of strength of character
that you had in your face.
This kind of generosity of spirit.
For all your kind of strutting around
and acting tough...
...you remind me of a little kid sometimes,
and I thought that was funny.
Okay. Now the truth.
If that girl's not careful, she'll wind up
on the business end of my di...
Oh, my God! Shut up.
See you later.
Jack.
- What's up?
- As soon as you can...
...go into town and get some paint
for Number .
- Take the Xterra.
- Number ?
What is it with you and Number ?
I'm thinking you got something going on.
Well, I thought so,
but she's a devout Catholic.
Oh, bless her heart.
- Are we still on for dominoes tomorrow?
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bring cash.
- Those guys will kick your ass.
- Noted.
Not me.
Funny how sounds get carried in wind.
Guess it's wind chimes.
I'm super excited to play.
And it's payable immediately.
No tears.
Don't forget the paint.
Hey, Mrs. Ritchie.
Be careful.
Okay. There you go.
Give me the glasses.
- Flight okay, Mr. Ritchie?
- The usual. How's the bitch?
- Which bitch?
- Nancy.
She's been hanging around
with that Jack asshole.
He's here? I told you to run his ass
off the island.
I give you a simple damn order,
and you blow it.
Shouldn't have hired a local parasite.
Look, have Lou Harris take care of him.
- Think you can handle that?
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
- You useless?
- Of course not.
I got it.
Put my garment bag on top.
- I did, Mrs. Ritchie.
- Good thing.
I got it.
Come on, Ray, ándale.
Hey, wow, you do your marketing here.
Yeah.
- It's no fun without you, Jackie.
- What is it about the produce section?
Why are you grabbing...?
- What happened?
- God, Ritchie's wife walked in.
Not my biggest fan. I cannot let her see me.
She could set Ray off and ruin everything.
- Stock boy to aisle three. Broken glass.
- Oh, my God.
I thought if she's in residence,
that means...
- Aren't you banished to the hunting lodge?
- Yeah.
Okay, that's it.
The plan just crashed and burned.
Do not give up on this. Okay?
Let me just think this through.
We can both still get what we want.
Okay?
Now you go.
There he is, Frank.
- Hey, Batman.
- Yes?
- Still hanging around looking for trouble?
- No. No bat today.
I'll tell you what.
Next time we meet,
you'll wish you were born...
...with eyes in the back of your head.
How does that turtleneck thing work?
Does it keep your head on?
Funny guy.
We're gonna have a "come to Jesus"
talk soon. Very soon.
- Come on, guys.
- Jack.
- New best friend?
- I owe the guy a lot of money, okay?
I just can't blow him off.
- No, you couldn't do that.
- Jack, come on.
Frank, why didn't you put the beer case
behind Kammie's Market like we agreed?
You know I have serious money problems.
That's why I hit up your girl.
Don't mess this up for me.
I'm into something good. Come on, Frank.
- What am I supposed to do?
- Have a little faith in people.
Not God because he's just
an imaginary friend for grownups.
- What the hell does that mean?
- I don't know.
Come on.
You're up to something, and I know it.
I was into something. It just fell apart.
That's the truth.
And that's good because I don't need
any more court dates.
That's the truth.
That's a good-looking shirt, by the way.
- Give me .
- This is nothing like mahjong.
- You play mahjong?
- No.
- Hello.
- Walter, put our boy on the phone.
It's for you.
- Hello.
- I know you can't talk right now.
- Here's what I found out.
- No, I'm fine.
- It's good to hear your voice.
- Bob Jr. has strict orders...
...to take me to the hunting lodge.
The money's at the beach house.
- We can't do it then.
- I'll keep Bob Jr. at the lodge.
You know the layout. The money
will be in the office safe. We are so close.
- Where's Ritchie?
- He'll be out of the house at : .
You can break into the house
with only that helpless drunk in it.
- I think I'm gonna pass.
- Two hundred thousand dollars.
- Not enough.
- The key for the sliding door...
...and combination
will be under the mat.
All you do is walk in poor
and walk out rich.
What will happen if that money
reaches those thugs?
- They'll probably have a hell of a luau.
- I mean to Walter.
- He'll probably get invited.
- Jack, just tell me you'll think about it.
All right, I'll bring the poi.
- lf not for us, do it for Walter.
- What?
Because sooner or later,
Ray will bulldoze Keiki Vista under the sand.
All right. Take care.
Wrong number.
Nancy burying a pig?
Getting in deep, aren't you?
I don't know about this girl.
A part of me thinks
she could be the answer.
Then a part of me thinks you're gonna
open up the paper one day, and it will be:
"The partially nude body of yours truly
was found floating in Waimea Bay.
Nancy Hayes sought for questioning."
I've been expecting to read headlines
like that about Nancy since she was .
- She's not dull.
- No, nobody's ever said that about her.
But I'm warning you, Jack,
you're sticking your neck way out.
No, I'm fine.
She just has a little mischief in her...
...that makes it kind of fun to be around.
The other day, she took off her clothes
and then folded them in neat little piles.
- It was...
- You really are smitten.
Sometimes you get so alone,
it just makes sense.
- Does that make sense?
- Hell, no.
If you think you're gonna control this girl
or control yourself with her...
...you've got a mind-breaking realization
coming, son.
She's nothing but trouble.
The problem is a lot of stuff you say
makes me want to be around her.
Okay.
Well, I'm through talking about her.
So where does Ritchie stow her
now that the bride is back?
- They all sleep in the same bed?
- Is Mrs. Ritchie back?
Well, he doesn't let her get very far.
- All of his assets are in her name.
- Shit, why doesn't she divorce him...
...and take it all?
I think they got some sort of
prenuptial agreement in place.
Or so I hear.
- Want to try again?
- Fire it up.
- What are you looking at?
- I'm putting my key under the mat.
Remember?
You weren't at the supermarket.
- Thought you chickened out.
- Jack showed up.
I had to get him out
before he saw us together.
Tell me that's number one, Alison.
I can't do it.
Ray's acting all weird.
I think he knows something.
What time will Jack show up here?
He will walk through that door
at : sharp.
I will make sure that Bob Jr.
is nowhere to be found.
From now on, Alison, it's your show.
My show.
And, sweetie, lay off the booze.
And stay off my boat!
- Hey!
- You hold it right there. Hold it!
You, get out of the car! This way!
Stand there.
- Come on.
- Whoa.
- You "whoa"!
- All right.
- Get down.
- Look, Harris.
Being stupid doesn't mean you want to die.
My name is...
- Shut up!
- Don't do that, Harris.
You've caused enough bollocks.
You want to piss with me?
I don't understand what you're saying.
Want to piss with you?
- Walter, don't. It might go off.
- All right.
I tried to warn him.
So, anyway, this skeleton walks
into a bar.
Skeleton goes to the bartender and says,
"Give me a pitcher of beer...
...and a mop."
We're gonna play $ cutthroat.
Do you know how to play that?
This is...
Now I've got five, for chrissake.
- It gets less each time you shuffle.
- You're supposed to take seven out.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Shouldn't quit on five.
- That's a sign of weakness.
- What have you guys...? Got eight?
No, I have seven.
So, anyway, Jack steps up.
- "Cheap Shot" Jack.
- My specialty.
He gives him a straight left
to that broke jaw.
Man, that guy dropped like a brick!
That is the best late excuse
you've ever come up with.
I'm telling you the truth.
Am I lying, Jack?
Sorry I'm late.
You kept me waiting.
I'm sure we can work out
a proper punishment.
The thing is, Nancy, I can't stay.
- What do you mean?
- I mean I can't go through with this...
...assignation.
What's going on, Junior?
- Ariana's in the car.
- Your wife?
- What is your wife doing in the car?
- Don't get mad, Nancy.
I'm not mad. I'm just confused.
- Talk.
- She knows about us.
- Knows what?
- I told her.
There's nothing to tell.
The other day, she said
that I smelled different.
- "I've been to a strip club, Ariana."
- I gotta get out of here.
You can't just leave me here...
...like this.
Ariana?
It's our own private honk.
I'm sorry. I've said everything
I came to say.
Maybe we should invite your wife
in here to join us.
You know, just the three of us.
You know.
That's a really bad idea.
You had a rough start,
and you're trying to find your...
You don't know anything
about who I am, Bob.
Okay.
Look, I'm just a whim to you,
a way of getting back at Ray.
Hell, I'm guilty of those same whims.
I mean, you are a knockout,
in a slutty kind of way.
There's got to be a loaded gun
around here someplace.
- All right, let's cut the crap. Who's first?
- Me. Five.
You might have set something up.
- Give me .
- Good play.
- Wait a minute. I got a four.
- Goddamn it.
- You can't do that.
- How much is that?
- You'd think I'd never played this game.
- Fours, deuces or fives.
- Searching for a pulse, Walter?
- Did I set my pipe down somewhere?
Is this another one of your strategic
diversionary tactics?
- No, I know I grabbed it. I picked it up.
- I'll get it.
- You don't have to do that.
- I'll get it.
I don't want you to have any excuses
when you lose this game.
He's interrupting the flow.
No, you're interrupting. Let's play.
He reminds me of you, Joe.
- Thanks, Jack.
- I love you, Joe.
Somebody play. I'm getting old.
That kid's a sweetheart.
Umbrella drinks on me, mahalo.
Now he gets interesting.
Bang!
Oh, shit.
Oh, God.
Don't bounce too high.
Praise the Lord, Jackie. You're still alive.
I couldn't do it. I raced back to warn you.
To warn me?
You set me up.
I swear, I couldn't let them kill you.
And look, you have the $
in your hand.
You weren't lying about that.
God, wouldn't it be great
if you were telling the truth?
I wonder what that would look like.
It looks like this.
So who did she shoot?
I was going for the back door,
but my friend beat me to it.
He took a bullet for me.
Bless his heart.
- Shit!
- What?
- What? I shot Jack.
- No.
- Who did I shoot?
- I don't know.
Some random.
Well, there goes that plan.
How did he get in here?
How did he know where the key was?
- I think I forgot to lock the door.
- You were drinking?
I had a couple of toddies.
- Am I dead, and no one told me?
- No, no.
Oh, honey.
What about that night we had?
- What about it?
- You know...
...that there was a real connection there.
You know it.
Yeah, I know. But there are a couple
of bodies downstairs...
...and your brilliant partners
are figuring out a way to pin it on you.
If you're smart,
which you haven't been so far...
...you'll get off this island real quick.
You better swim for it.
I'm sorry you don't believe me.
You'll never get over me.
Yeah. So long.
He's not breathing.
Can't get a pulse.
Sometimes they put a mirror
under their nose.
- How much did you dose him?
- I emptied the bottle.
You could put down a troop train
with a whole bottle, Al.
Honey, the plan was to kill Jack.
Right? With his record, a perfect patsy.
Then kill an unconscious Ray
with a baseball bat.
Then it looks like Jack broke in,
killed Ray...
...you shot Jack in self-defense.
Don't you remember? We went over it.
- Right. To cover up the robbery.
- No, no, no. Honey, no.
To kill Ray and hush money Nancy.
Now two bodies to dispose of.
- And neither one of them is Jack.
- And that's a big deal.
Yeah. Jack can nail us.
Jesus, lady!
You shot me!
One body just disposed of itself.
I'll be damned.
Oh, Walter, I don't want to be executed.
No need to worry about that, sugar.
Hawaii doesn't have the death penalty.
- Oh, thank God.
- Yeah.
Well, at least Ray is dead.
- Should I whack him with the bat anyway?
- No, no, no. No.
No, we need a new plan.
New patsy.
Ray.
He shot...
...some guy...
...and then killed himself.
- With a bat?
Or the other way around.
Don't think, babe.
Bad for the team.
How about Nancy?
Genius.
I hate her.
Okay.
I came to warn you, Jack.
That's Jack?
And there it was. Son of a bitch.
Walter's words running through
my head like a loop.
"Sometimes things
are exactly as they appear."
It's catchy.
Like an epitaph.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Not much of a good hitching spot.
No, not much.
Maybe it's that disguise.
You like it?
- Where are you going?
- I'm escaping.
I'd like to know which one of you geniuses
came up with this plan.
It just sort of happened after I caught
Walter and Alison going at it on the boat.
Walter and Alison were going at it?
- Good Lord.
- So anyway...
...blackmail came immediately to mind.
But Walter figured a way for us
to get what we wanted.
I'll have to be sober if I ever try
to tell this story.
Oh, Jack, come on.
You were scamming me.
Breaking into Ray's,
getting close to me to get next to him.
I mean, what were you after, anyway?
I know it wasn't just about me.
Was it?
No. Come on.
Those paintings on the wall were...
Could fetch a pretty penny
in the right circles.
Jack, we don't know anybody
in the right circles.
- I know plenty of people in plenty of circles.
- Why stop if you still don't believe me?
I said to myself, "Maybe...
...she's telling the truth.
Maybe she did come back to warn me.
Part of me thinks she's trying to have me
picked off like a shooting gallery duck."
Would I leave you the combination
if I was trying to get you killed?
- Would I do that?
- You're practically my guardian angel.
Come here. Give me a kiss.
You want a kiss?
Just a little one.
I'll give you a kiss for good luck.
Thank you.
Like Walter says:
"Sometimes you gotta have faith.
And a little luck never hurts."