================= BREAKFAST AT TIFFANYS ================= [MOON RIVER PLAYS] [MOON RIVER PLAYS] HEY! HEY, BABY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? OH, HI. [DOORBELL BUZZES] [MUTTERING IN JAPANESE] YIEE! [BUZZING] AAH! [BUZZ] MISS GORIGHTLY! SOMEDAY... SOMEDAY! MISS GORIGHTLY! YOU TAKE OFF FOR THE POWDER ROOM. THAT'S THE LAST I SEE YOU. NOW, REALLY, HARRY... HARRY WAS THE OTHER GUY. I'M SID. SID ARBUCK. YOU LIKE ME, REMEMBER? MISS GORIGHTLY! I PROTEST! DARLING, I AM SORRY, BUT I LOST MY KEY. THAT WAS TWO WEEKS AGO. YOU CANNOT GO ON KEEP RINGING MY BELL. YOU DISTURB ME. YOU MUST HAVE A KEY MADE! IT DOES NO GOOD. I LOSE THEM ALL. COME ON, BABY. YOU LIKE ME. I WORSHIP YOU, MR. ARBUCK. GOOD NIGHT, MR. ARBUCK. WAIT! WHAT IS THIS? YOU LIKE ME. I'M A LIKED GUY. YOU LIKE ME, BABY. I PICKED UP THE CHECK FOR FIVE PEOPLE-- YOUR FRIENDS. WHEN YOU ASKED FOR CHANGE FOR THE POWDER ROOM, I GIVE YOU A $50 BILL. THAT GIVES ME SOME RIGHTS. IN 30 SECONDS, I GOING TO CALL THE POLICE! ALL THE TIME, A DISTURBANCE! I GET NO SLEEP! I GOT TO GET MY REST! I'M AN ARTIST! I GOING TO CALL VICE SQUAD ON YOU! DON'T BE ANGRY, DEAR MAN. I WON'T DO IT AGAIN. DON'T BE ANGRY, AND I MIGHT LET YOU TAKE THOSE PICTURES. WHEN? SOMETIME. ANYTIME. GOOD NIGHT. [DOORBELL BUZZES] [BUZZ] [MEOW] [MEOW] [BUZZ] [MEOW] [BUZZ] MMM. [BUZZ] [BUZZ] [BUZZ] I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT I COULDN'T GET THE DOWNSTAIRS DOOR OPEN. I GUESS THEY SENT ME THE UPSTAIRS KEY. I COULDN'T GET THE DOWNSTAIRS DOOR OPEN. I SAID, I GUESS THEY SENT ME THE... UH, UPSTAIRS KEY. I COULDN'T GET THE DOWNSTAIRS DOOR OPEN. SORRY TO WAKE YOU. THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT. IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE. QUITE FREQUENTLY DOES. GOOD NIGHT. I--I HATE TO, UH... I HATE TO BOTHER YOU, BUT IF I COULD ASK ONE MORE FAVOR... COULD I USE THE PHONE? SURE. WHY NOT? THANK YOU. WELL, THIS IS A... NICE LITTLE PLACE YOU'VE GOT HERE. YOU JUST MOVED IN, TOO, HUH? NO. I'VE BEEN HERE ABOUT A YEAR. THE PHONE'S OVER THERE. WELL, IT WAS. OH, I REMEMBER. I STUCK IT IN THE SUITCASE. KIND OF MUFFLES THE SOUND. [CAT SCREECHES] I'M...SORRY. IS HE ALL RIGHT? SURE. SURE, HE'S O.K. AREN'T YOU, CAT? POOR OLD CAT. POOR SLOB. POOR SLOB WITHOUT A NAME. I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO GIVE HIM ONE. WE DON'T BELONG TO EACH OTHER. WE JUST TOOK UP ONE DAY. I DON'T WANT TO OWN ANYTHING UNTIL I FIND A PLACE WHERE ME AND THINGS GO TOGETHER. I'M NOT SURE WHERE THAT IS, BUT I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE. IT'S LIKE TIFFANY'S. TIFFANY'S? YOU MEAN THE JEWELRY STORE? THAT'S RIGHT. I'M CRAZY ABOUT TIFFANY'S. LISTEN. YOU KNOW THOSE DAYS WHEN YOU GET THE MEAN REDS? THE MEAN REDS? YOU MEAN, LIKE THE BLUES? THE BLUES ARE BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING FAT OR IT'S BEEN RAINING TOO LONG. YOU'RE JUST SAD, THAT'S ALL. THE MEAN REDS ARE HORRIBLE. SUDDENLY YOU'RE AFRAID, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF. DON'T YOU EVER GET THAT FEELING? SURE. WHEN I GET IT, WHAT DOES ANY GOOD IS TO JUMP INTO A CAB AND GO TO TIFFANY'S. CALMS ME DOWN RIGHT AWAY. THE QUIETNESS, THE PROUD LOOK. NOTHING VERY BAD COULD HAPPEN TO YOU THERE. IF I COULD FIND A REAL-LIFE PLACE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE TIFFANY'S, THEN... THEN I'D BUY SOME FURNITURE AND GIVE THE CAT A NAME. I'M SORRY. YOU WANTED SOMETHING. OH, THE TELEPHONE. I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET SOMEBODY. ISN'T THIS 10:00 THURSDAY MORNING? I JUST GOT OFF A PLANE FROM ROME, AND I'M NOT TOO SURE. THURSDAY... IS THIS THURSDAY? I THINK SO. THURSDAY! IT CAN'T BE! IT'S TOO GRUESOME! WELL, UH... WHAT'S SO GRUESOME ABOUT THURSDAY? NOTHING, EXCEPT I NEVER REMEMBER WHEN IT'S COMING UP, WEDNESDAYS I GENERALLY JUST DON'T GO TO BED BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE UP TO CATCH THE 10:45. THEY'RE SO PARTICULAR ABOUT VISITING HOURS. BE A DARLING AND LOOK UNDER THE BED FOR A PAIR OF ALLIGATOR SHOES. I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK. A GIRL CAN'T GO TO SING SING WITH A GREEN FACE. SING SING? I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS A RIDICULOUS NAME FOR A PRISON. SING SING, I MEAN. SOUNDS MORE LIKE AN OPERA HOUSE. BLACK, ALLIGATOR. ALL THE VISITORS MAKE AN EFFORT TO LOOK THEIR BEST. ACTUALLY, IT'S VERY TOUCHING, ALL THE WOMEN WEARING THEIR PRETTIEST THINGS. I LOVE THEM FOR IT, AND I LOVE THE KIDS. IT SHOULD BE SAD SEEING KIDS THERE, BUT IT ISN'T. THEY HAVE RIBBONS IN THEIR HAIR AND LOTS OF SHINE ON THEIR SHOES. AS I UNDERSTAND IT, WE'RE GETTING YOU READY TO VISIT SOMEBODY AT SING SING. YOU COULD ALWAYS TELL WHAT KIND OF A PERSON A MAN THINKS YOU ARE BY THE EARRINGS HE GIVES YOU. I MUST SAY, THE MIND REELS. MAY I ASK WHOM? WHOM I'M GOING TO VISIT? I GUESS THAT'S WHAT I MEAN. I DON'T KNOW THAT I SHOULD DISCUSS IT. HE NEVER TOLD ME NOT TO. CROSS YOUR HEART AND KISS YOUR ELBOW. I'LL TRY. YOU PROBABLY READ ABOUT HIM. SALLY TOMATO. SALLY TOMATO? DON'T LOOK SO SHOCKED. THEY COULDN'T PROVE HE WAS IN THE MAFIA, MUCH LESS HEAD OF IT. THEY ONLY PROVED HE CHEATED AT HIS INCOME TAX. ANYWAY, HE'S A DARLING OLD MAN. HE WASN'T MY LOVER OR ANYTHING. I NEVER KNEW HIM UNTIL AFTER HE WAS IN PRISON. I'VE GONE TO SEE HIM EVERY THURSDAY FOR SEVEN MONTHS. I'D GO EVEN IF HE DIDN'T PAY ME. SHOES. I COULD ONLY FIND ONE. HE PAYS YOU? HIS LAWYER DOES, IF HE IS A LAWYER, WHICH I DOUBT. HE DOESN'T HAVE AN OFFICE, ONLY AN ANSWERING SERVICE. HE ALWAYS WANTS TO MEET AT HAMBURGER HEAVEN. THERE YOU ARE, YOU SNEAK. THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME. DRESS. DRESS. HERE WE ARE. BAG. AND A HAT, TOO. THERE WE ARE. ANYWAY, ABOUT SEVEN MONTHS AGO, THIS SO-CALLED LAWYER, MR. O'SHAUGHNESSY, ASKED ME HOW I'D LIKE TO CHEER UP A LONELY OLD MAN AND PICK UP A HUNDRED A WEEK. I TOLD HIM, "LOOK, DARLING, YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG HOLLY GOLIGHTLY." I DO AS WELL ON TRIPS TO THE POWDER ROOM. ANY GENTLEMAN WILL GIVE A GIRL $50 FOR THE POWDER ROOM. AND CAB FARE-- THAT'S ANOTHER 50. THEN HE SAID HIS CLIENT WAS SALLY TOMATO. SALLY HAD SEEN ME SOMEWHERE AND HAD ADMIRED ME A LA DISTANCE. SO WOULDN'T IT BE A GOOD DEED TO VISIT HIM ONCE A WEEK? HOW COULD I SAY NO? IT WAS WILDLY ROMANTIC. HOW DO I LOOK? VERY GOOD. I MUST SAY I'M AMAZED. I COULD NEVER HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU. BAG. CALL ME ANYTIME. I'M JUST UPSTAIRS, OR I WILL BE AS SOON AS I GET MOVED IN. BYE, CAT. UH... UH, YOU MEAN HE GIVES YOU $100 FOR AN HOUR'S CONVERSATION? MR. O'SHAUGHNESSY DOES WHEN I MEET HIM AND GIVE HIM THE WEATHER REPORT. IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU COULD GET IN TROUBLE. HOLD THIS FOR ME. AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WEATHER REPORT? JUST A MESSAGE I GIVE MR. O'SHAUGHNESSY SO HE KNOWS I'VE REALLY BEEN UP THERE. SALLY TELLS ME THINGS TO SAY LIKE, UH... OH, THERE'S A HURRICANE IN CUBA, CLOUDY OVER PALERMO, THINGS LIKE THAT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY. I'VE TAKEN CARE OF MYSELF A LONG TIME. TAXI! [WHISTLES] I NEVER COULD DO THAT. IT'S EASY. PAUL. I'M LATE. I KNOW IT. WERE YOU LOCKED OUT? DIDN'T YOU GET THE KEY? OH, DARLING. I'M SO SORRY. NO, I GOT THE KEY, ALL RIGHT. MISS GOLIGHTLY, MY NEIGHBOR, KINDLY LET ME IN. MISS GOLIGHTLY'S ON HER WAY TO SING SING. JUST VISITING, OF COURSE. MISS GOLIGHTLY, MRS. FALENSON, MY...DECORATOR. HOW DO YOU DO? HOW DO YOU DO? OOH, DARLING. LET ME LOOK AT YOU. ARE--ARE YOU THROUGH? WAS THE FLIGHT ABSOLUTELY GHASTLY? GRAND CENTRAL STATION, AND STEP ON IT, DARLING. IS IT REALLY ONLY THREE WEEKS SINCE I LEFT YOU IN ROME? SEEMS LIKE YEARS. YOU SEEN THE APARTMENT? NOT YET. IT WAS WICKED OF ME, BUT I COULDN'T RESIST. I FIXED IT UP WITHOUT YOU. I THINK IT'S DARLING, BUT IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HATE IT, WE CAN RIP EVERYTHING OUT AND START FROM SCRATCH. [LOUD MUSIC PLAYS] UHH! MISS GORIGHTLY! HEY, BABY! WHERE YOU GOING? [POUNDING ON DOOR] COME ON, BABY. OPEN THE DOOR. AW, BE A PAL. YOU'RE BREAKING UP A BEAUTIFUL PARTY. [POUNDING] COME ON, BABY. OPEN THE DOOR. HEY, THE BAND'S SWINGING. AW, COME ON, BABY. MISS GORIGHTLY! ONCE AGAIN, I MUST PROTEST! IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT PHONOGRAPH NOW, I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE DEPARTMENT. [PHONOGRAPH NEEDLE SCRATCHES] YEAH. THAT MORE BETTER. WHAT'S THE MATTER, BABY? [POUNDING] AW, COME ON. YOU'RE A GREAT KID. OPEN THE DOOR. COME ON, BABY. I'M WAITING FOR YOU. [CLATTERING] IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ONLY ME. UH, WAIT A MINUTE. MISS, UH... GOLIGHTLY. HOLLY GOLIGHTLY. I LIVE DOWNSTAIRS. WE MET THIS MORNING. REMEMBER? YEAH. IT'S ALL RIGHT. SHE'S GONE. SHE WORKS LATE HOURS FOR A DECORATOR. THERE'S THE MOST TERRIFYING MAN DOWNSTAIRS. HE'S SWEET WHEN HE ISN'T DRUNK, BUT LET HIM START LAPPING UP THE VINO, AND, OH, GOLLY, QUEL BEAST. IT GOT SO TIRESOME, I WENT OUT THE WINDOW. [GLASS SHATTERING] YOU CAN THROW ME OUT IF YOU WANT, BUT YOU LOOKED SO COZY IN HERE, AND YOUR DECORATOR FRIEND HAD GONE HOME, AND IT WAS GETTING COLD ON THE FIRE ESCAPE. AND I ALWAYS HEARD PEOPLE IN NEW YORK NEVER GET TO KNOW THEIR NEIGHBORS. WELL... HOW WAS SING SING? FINE. I MADE THE TRAIN AND EVERYTHING. AND WHAT'S THE WEATHER REPORT? SMALL-CRAFT WARNINGS, BLOCK ISLAND TO HATTERAS-- WHATEVER THAT MEANS. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SWEET. YOU REALLY ARE. AND YOU LOOK A LITTLE LIKE MY BROTHER FRED. DO YOU MIND IF I CALL YOU FRED? NOT AT ALL. 300. SHE'S VERY GENEROUS. IS THAT BY THE WEEK, THE HOUR, OR WHAT? THE PARTY'S OVER. OUT. OH, FRED. DARLING FRED, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS. DON'T BE ANGRY. I WAS JUST LETTING YOU KNOW I UNDERSTAND. I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. STICK AROUND. MAKE YOURSELF A DRINK. OR THROW ME MY ROBE. I'LL MAKE YOU ONE. STAY WHERE YOU ARE. YOU MUST BE ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED. I MEAN, IT'S LATE, AND YOU WERE SOUND ASLEEP AND EVERYTHING. I SUPPOSE YOU THINK I'M VERY BRAZEN OR TReS FOU OR SOMETHING. YOU'RE NO FOUER THAN ANYBODY ELSE. YES, YOU DO. EVERYBODY DOES. AND I DON'T MIND. IT'S USEFUL BEING TOP BANANA IN THE SHOCK DEPARTMENT. WHAT DO YOU DO, ANYWAY? I'M A WRITER, I GUESS. YOU GUESS? DON'T YOU KNOW? O.K., POSITIVE STATEMENT. RINGING AFFIRMATIVE. I'M A WRITER. THE ONLY WRITER I'VE EVER BEEN OUT WITH IS BENNY SHACKLETT. HE'S WRITTEN AN AWFUL LOT OF TELEVISION STUFF, BUT QUEL RAT. TELL ME, ARE YOU A REAL WRITER? I MEAN, DOES ANYBODY BUY WHAT YOU WRITE OR PUBLISH IT OR ANYTHING? THEY BOUGHT WHAT'S IN THAT BOX. YOURS? MM-HMM. ALL THESE BOOKS? THERE'S JUST THE ONE BOOK, 12 COPIES OF IT. "NINE LIVES, BY PAUL VARJAK." THEY'RE STORIES. MM-HMM. NINE OF THEM. TELL ME ONE. THEY'RE NOT THE KIND OF STORIES YOU CAN REALLY TELL. TOO DIRTY? YEAH, I...SUPPOSE THEY'RE DIRTY, TOO, BUT ONLY INCIDENTALLY. MAINLY THEY'RE ANGRY, SENSITIVE... INTENSELY FELT, AND THAT DIRTIEST OF ALL DIRTY WORDS-- PROMISING. SO SAID THE TIMES BOOK REVIEW, OCTOBER 1, 1956. 1956? THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS KIND OF A RATTY QUESTION, BUT WHAT HAVE YOU WRITTEN LATELY? LATELY, I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A NOVEL. LATELY, SINCE 1956? A NOVEL TAKES A LONG TIME. I WANT IT EXACTLY RIGHT. SO, NO MORE STORIES. WELL, THE IDEA IS I'M SUPPOSED TO NOT FRITTER MY TALENT ON LITTLE THINGS. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SAVING IT FOR THE BIG ONE. DO YOU WRITE EVERY DAY? SURE. TODAY? SURE. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL TYPEWRITER. OF COURSE. IT WRITES NOTHING BUT SENSITIVE, INTENSELY FELT, PROMISING PROSE. THERE'S NO RIBBON IN IT. THERE ISN'T? NO. OH. SOMETHING YOU SAID THIS MORNING HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME ALL DAY. WHAT'S THAT? DO THEY REALLY GIVE YOU $50 WHENEVER YOU GO TO THE POWDER ROOM? OF COURSE. YOU MUST DO VERY WELL. I'M TRYING TO SAVE, BUT I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. YOU KNOW, YOU DO LOOK A LOT LIKE MY BROTHER FRED. I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE I WAS 14. THAT'S WHEN I LEFT HOME. HE WAS ALREADY 6'2". IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE PEANUT BUTTER THAT DID IT. EVERYBODY THOUGHT HE WAS DOTTY THE WAY HE GORGED HIMSELF ON PEANUT BUTTER, BUT HE WASN'T DOTTY, JUST SWEET AND VAGUE AND...TERRIBLY SLOW. POOR FRED. HE'S IN THE ARMY NOW. THAT'S REALLY THE BEST PLACE FOR HIM UNTIL I CAN GET ENOUGH MONEY SAVED. AND THEN? AND THEN FRED AND I... I WENT TO MEXICO ONCE. IT'S A WONDERFUL PLACE FOR RAISING HORSES. I SAW ONE PLACE NEAR THE SEA THAT... FRED'S VERY GOOD WITH HORSES. EVEN LAND IN MEXICO COSTS SOMETHING. NO MATTER WHAT I DO, THERE'S NEVER MORE THAN A COUPLE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN THE BANK. [CLOCK CHIMES] IT CAN'T BE 4:30. IT JUST CAN'T. DO YOU MIND IF I JUST GET IN WITH YOU FOR A MINUTE? IT'S ALL RIGHT. REALLY, IT IS. WE'RE FRIENDS. THAT'S ALL. WE ARE FRIENDS, AREN'T WE? SURE. O.K., LET'S DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD. LET'S JUST GO TO SLEEP. WHERE ARE YOU, FRED? IT'S COLD. THERE--THERE'S SNOW IN THE WIND. WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHY ARE YOU CRYING? IF WE'RE GOING TO BE FRIENDS, LET'S JUST GET ONE THING STRAIGHT RIGHT NOW. I HATE SNOOPS. [TELEPHONE RINGS] [RING] [RING] YEAH. LUCILLE, DARLING? TOOLEY. HUH? I'VE BEEN TRYING DESPERATELY TO REACH YOU. BILL JUST GOT BACK-- A DAY EARLY, THE BEAST-- SO I'M AFRAID I'LL HAVE TO BEG OFF. YOU'LL EXPLAIN TO THE REST OF THE GIRLS? YOU'RE A DARLING. MAYBE WE CAN HAVE A LONG LUNCH TOMORROW. I'LL PHONE YOU IN THE MORNING. MM-HMM. WHATEVER YOU SAY. YOU'LL MANAGE TO SURVIVE WITHOUT ME TONIGHT? SURE. I MIGHT EVEN TAKE A WILD BOYISH FLING AT WRITING. GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. [CHA-CHA MUSIC PLAYS] GOT YOURSELF STUFFED, HUH, POLLY, BABY? SERVES YOU RIGHT, BIGMOUTH. BUON GIORNO. HUH? AREN'T YOU DRINKING? MM-HMM. YOU HAVE POCKETS THERE OR SOMETHING? WHAT DO YOU GO BY? HMM? WHAT'S YOUR NAME? WHAT DO YOU CALL YOURSELF? IRVING. OH, YEAH. PERFECT, PERFECT. THAT'S WONDERFUL. PERFECT. [DOORBELL BUZZES] I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, IRVING, BABY. MM-HMM. [BUZZ] KID'S STILL IN THE SHOWER. YOU EXPECTED? I WAS INVITED. THAT WHAT YOU MEAN? DON'T GET ALL TENSE AND SOFT. COME IN. IT'S A PARTY. LOT OF CHARACTERS COME WHO AREN'T EXPECTED. I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK. YOU DRINK? YEAH. THEN I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK. HEY, HONEY, YOUR SKIRT'S SPLIT THERE. WHAT DO YOU DRINK? BOURBON. BOURBON. ON THE ROCKS? YEAH--NO. WITH WATER. YOU WANT ROCKS FIRST? UH, YEAH. NOT TOO MUCH. ALL RIGHT. THAT'LL SET YOU FREE. KNOW THE KID LONG? NOT VERY. I LIVE UPSTAIRS. LOOK AT THIS PLACE. WHAT A PLACE. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. WHAT A DUMP. WHAT DO YOU THINK? ABOUT WHAT? IS SHE OR ISN'T SHE? [DOORBELL BUZZES] WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD IT. HARRIET! HI, J.B. "J.B."? WHAT'S THAT? YOU KNOW GIL. YEAH. HOW ARE YOU? HOW ABOUT A DRINK? IN THE KITCHEN. THANKS. YEAH. SO-- OH, HONEY, THAT IS YOU. FRED, DARLING, I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD COME. I BROUGHT YOU A HOUSE PRESENT. SOMETHING FOR THE BOOKCASE. OH, YOU'RE SWEET. DOESN'T THAT LOOK NICE? GIVE ME A CIGARETTE, O.J. O.J.'S A GREAT AGENT. HE KNOWS A LOT OF PHONE NUMBERS. WHAT'S JERRY WALD'S PHONE NUMBER? COME ON, LAY OFF. CALL HIM AND TELL HIM FRED'S A GENIUS. STOP BLUSHING, FRED. YOU DIDN'T SAY IT. I DID. QUIT STALLING. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE FRED RICH AND FAMOUS? LET FRED AND ME SETTLE THAT, HUH, PUPPY? O.K., BUT REMEMBER, I'M THE AGENT. HE'S ALREADY GOT A DECORATOR. I'M THE AGENT. [DOORBELL BUZZES] HOLD IT. HI, BOYS. COME ON IN. EVERYTHING YOU NEED'S IN THE KITCHEN. SO LISTEN, FRED, BABY, WHAT ARE-- NO, IT'S PAUL, BABY. IT IS? I THOUGHT IT WAS FRED, BABY. ANSWER THE QUESTION. IS SHE OR ISN'T SHE? WHAT? A PHONY. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T THINK SO. YOU DON'T, HUH? WELL, YOU'RE WRONG. SHE IS. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU'RE RIGHT, BECAUSE SHE'S A REAL PHONY. SHE HONESTLY BELIEVES ALL THIS PHONY JUNK. NOW, I SINCERELY LIKE THE KID. I DO. I'M SENSITIVE, THAT'S WHY. YOU GOT TO BE SENSITIVE TO LIKE THE KID. IT'S A STREAK OF THE POET. YOU KNOWN HER LONG? I DISCOVERED HER. I'M O.J. BERMAN. SHE WAS JUST A KID-- LOT OF STYLE AND CLASS... LOT OF WHAT? CLASS. BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT-- WHETHER SHE WAS A HILLBILLY OR AN OKIE. KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO SMOOTH THAT ACCENT? ONE YEAR. KNOW HOW? WE GAVE HER FRENCH LESSONS. FIGURED ONCE SHE COULD IMITATE FRENCH, SHE COULD IMITATE ENGLISH. FINALLY, I ARRANGED FOR A LITTLE SCREEN TEST. THE NIGHT BEFORE, THE PHONE RINGS. I SAID, "O.J. SPEAKING." SHE SAYS, "THIS IS HOLLY." I SAYS, "YOU SOUND SO FAR AWAY." SHE SAYS, "I'M IN NEW YORK." I SAID, "GET YOURSELF BACK HERE." SHE SAYS, "I DON'T WANT TO." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" SHE SAYS, "WHEN I FIND OUT, I'LL LET YOU KNOW." SO, LOOK, FRED, BABY-- IT'S PAUL, BABY. SURE. DON'T TELL ME SHE ISN'T A PHONY. IRVING. HONEY, IRVING, WHERE YOU BEEN? [MEOW] MMM, THANKS. MIKE, DARLING, I TRIED REACHING YOU ALL DAY LONG. YOUR ANSWERING SERVICE DOESN'T ANSWER. THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH ANSWERING SERVICES. WELL, I GUESS THAT'S... AND AFTER ALL THAT SHE SAID... HOLLY! OHH! TIME, DARLING. WHAT? TIME? YOU HAVE A WATCH? NO. OH, LET ME SEE. 6:45. THANK YOU. AAH! REALLY, WAS THAT NECESSARY? THIS IS SOME PARTY. WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE, ANYHOW? WHO KNOWS? THE WORD GETS OUT. YOU DON'T MIND, DO YOU, DARLING? MMM. REINFORCEMENTS. RIGHT IN THERE. HOLLY? HOLLY, D-DARLING! WHAT'S THAT? MAG WILDWOOD. SHE'S A MODEL, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, AND A THUMPING BORE. BUT JUST LOOK AT THE GOODIES SHE BROUGHT WITH HER. HE'S ALL RIGHT, IF YOU LIKE DARK, HANDSOME, RICH-LOOKING MEN WITH PASSIONATE NATURES AND TOO MANY TEETH. I MEAN THE OTHER ONE. THE OTHER ONE? HE'S RUSTY TRAWLER. HUH? RUSTY TRAWLER. HE HAPPENS TO BE THE NINTH RICHEST MAN IN AMERICA UNDER 50. NOW, THAT, INDEED, IS A REMARKABLE PIECE OF INFORMATION TO HAVE AT YOUR FINGERTIPS. I KEEP TRACK OF THESE THINGS. EXCUSE ME. YOU OWE ME 47-- HOLD THIS A MINUTE, DARLING. MAG, DARLING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I WAS UPSTAIRS WORKING WITH YUNIOSHI-- EASTER STUFF FOR THE B-BAZAAR. THEN THESE TWO NICE BOYS CAME TO PICK ME UP. IT WAS A MISTAKE, OF COURSE. MY WIRES GOT CROSSED SOMEWHERE. THEY WERE BOTH VERY SWEET ABOUT IT. MAY I PRESENT JOSE SILVA PEREIRA? HE'S FROM BRAZIL. MISS G-GOLIGHTLY. VERY KIND OF YOU, MISS GOLIGHTLY, TO ALLOW ME TO ATTEND YOUR PARTY. I'M SO INTERESTED IN NORTH AMERICAN CULTURE. I'VE BEEN ALREADY TO THE STATUE OF LIBERTY AND TO THE RESTAURANT AUTOMATIQUE. BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I AM IN A TYPICAL NORTH AMERICAN HOME. WOULDN'T HE JUST M-MELT IN YOUR MOUTH? AND THIS IS MR. RUSTY TRAWLER. MISS GOLIGHTLY. YOU'RE NOT VEXED AT ME FOR BRINGING HIM? OF COURSE NOT, DARLING. I'M GLAD. NOW, WHO'S GOING TO BRING ME A BOURBON? O.J. YEAH. WOULD YOU GET MISS WILDWOOD A DRINK? WHICH ONE'S MISS WILDWOOD? MR. BERMAN, WE HAVEN'T BEEN FORMALLY INTRODUCED. BUT I'M MAG WILDWOOD FROM WILDWOOD, ARKANSAS. THAT'S...HILL COUNTRY. NOW, YOU JUST MAKE YOURSELF RIGHT AT HOME. OH, DON'T TROUBLE YOURSELF. I'M CONTENTED TO OBSERVE THE CUSTOMS OF YOUR COUNTRY. O.K., YOU DO THAT. NOW COME ALONG, MR. TRAWLER. LET'S SEE WHAT WE CAN FIND TO AMUSE YOU. [WAILING] [TELEPHONE RINGS] [RING] I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO PICK YOU UP. YOU SAID YOU WOULD. I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO PICK YOU UP. [RING] YES? MISS GOLIGHTLY? THIS TIME I'M A-WARNING YOU! I AM DEFINITELY THIS TIME GOING TO CALLING THE POLICE! WOW! GOOD EVENING. HA HA. IS IT SOMETHING IMPORTANT? NO. JUST THE GUY UPSTAIRS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE NOISE. HE'S ANGRY. HE DID MENTION SOMETHING ABOUT CALLING THE POLICE. OH, THE POLICE. THE POLICE? THAT I CANNOT HAVE. I'D BETTER LOOK FOR MISS WILDWOOD AND GO. AAH! TO THINK I'D FIND A BEAU OF MINE MOUSING AFTER A PIECE OF CHEAP HOLLYWOOD TRASH. MAG, DARLING, YOU'RE BEING A BORE. SHUT UP! YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU? I'M GOING TO MARCH YOU OVER TO THE ZOO AND FEED YOU TO THE YAK... JUST AS SOON AS I FINISH THIS DRINK. TIMBER! [CRASH] [SIREN] AAH! SORRY. OH. OH, GOOD EVENING, ED. IT'S PAUL, BABY. YOU REMEMBER IRVING, DON'T YOU? THIS IS JOSE. NICE TO MEET YOU. UH... WONDERFUL SEEING YOU. JEWEL THIEVES. [WHISTLES BLOWING] SALLY HELPS ME WITH MY ACCOUNTS. I HAVE NO HEAD FOR FIGURES AT ALL. I'M TRYING DESPERATELY TO SAVE SOME MONEY. I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO. HE MAKES ME WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING IN THERE. WHAT I GET, WHAT I SPEND. I USED TO HAVE A CHECKING ACCOUNT. HE MADE ME GET RID OF THAT. HE FEELS, FOR ME, IT'S BETTER TO OPERATE ON A CASH BASIS, TAXWISE. SOMEDAY, MR. FRED, YOU TAKE THIS BOOK, TURN IT INTO A NOVEL. EVERYTHING IS THERE. JUST FILL IN THE DETAILS. WOULD BE GOOD FOR SOME LAUGHS. NO. NO, I DON'T THINK SO. THIS IS A BOOK WOULD BREAK THE HEART. "MR. FITZSIMMONS-- POWDER ROOM, $50. "LESS $18--REPAIR ONE BLACK SATIN DRESS. CAT FOOD, 27 CENTS." SALLY, DARLING, PLEASE STOP. YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH. BUT YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT JACK FITZSIMMONS. HE'S AN ABSOLUTE RAT. BUT I GUESS, OF COURSE, I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY BUT RATS. EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FRED HERE. YOU DO THINK FRED IS NICE, DON'T YOU? FOR YOU... I HOPE HE IS. [BLOWS WHISTLE] GIVE ME A KISS GOODBYE. GOODBYE, UNCLE SALLY. TILL NEXT WEEK. GOODBYE, UNCLE SALLY. GOODBYE AND DON'T FORGET TO SEND THAT BOOK. I WON'T. OH, WHAT ABOUT THE WEATHER REPORT? OH, YES. SNOW FLURRIES EXPECTED THIS WEEKEND IN NEW ORLEANS. SNOW FLURRIES EXPECTED THIS WEEKEND IN NEW ORLEANS? ISN'T THAT JUST THE WEIRDEST? I BET THEY HAVEN'T HAD SNOW IN NEW ORLEANS FOR A MILLION YEARS. I DON'T KNOW HOW HE THINKS THEM UP. [TYPING] [GUITAR PLAYS] " MOON RIVER " " WIDER THAN A MILE " " I'M CROSSIN' YOU IN STYLE " " SOMEDAY " " OH, DREAM MAKER " " YOU HEARTBREAKER " " WHEREVER YOU'RE GOIN' " " I'M GOIN' YOUR WAY " " TWO DRIFTERS " " OFF TO SEE THE WORLD " " THERE'S SUCH A LOT OF WORLD " " TO SEE " " WE'RE AFTER " " THE SAME " " RAINBOW'S END " " WAITIN' 'ROUND THE BEND " " MY HUCKLEBERRY FRIEND " " MOON RIVER " " AND ME "" HI. HI. WHAT YOU DOIN'? WRITING. GOOD. [DOORBELL BUZZES] [BUZZ] WELL, HELLO. WHAT'S WRONG? I DON'T KNOW. IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING. I WANT TO SEE IF HE'S STILL THERE. SEE IF WHO'S STILL THERE? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? LOOK. SEE? I NOTICED HIM YESTERDAY AFTERNOON. I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. I DIDN'T WANT TO SOUND NEUROTIC, BUT... WHEN HE'S THERE AGAIN TODAY... WHO DO YOU THINK HE IS? IT COULD BE ANYBODY, OF COURSE, BUT WHAT CROSSED MY MIND WAS... SUPPOSE BILL'S HAVING US WATCHED, HUH? O.K. I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS. NO. NO, DON'T. PLEASE. IF THAT'S WHAT IT IS, YOU'LL ONLY MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE. I'LL BE CAREFUL. YOU WAIT HERE. DARLING, PLEASE DON'T. I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD. NOW, TAKE IT EASY. I JUST WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT. ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU WANT? SON, I NEED A FRIEND. THAT'S ME, THAT'S HER, THAT'S HER BROTHER FRED. YOU'RE HOLLY'S FATHER? HER NAME AIN'T HOLLY. SHE WAS LULA MAE BARNES. WAS TILL SHE MARRIED ME. I'M HER HUSBAND DOC GOLIGHTLY. PAUL VARJAK. I'M A HORSE DOCTOR. ANIMAL MAN. DO SOME FARMING, TOO, NEAR TULIP, TEXAS. HER BROTHER FRED'S GETTING OUT OF THE ARMY SOON. LULA MAE BELONGS HOME WITH HER HUSBAND, HER BROTHER, AND HER CHILDREN. CHILDREN? THEM'S HER CHILDREN. SHE'S GOT FOUR CHILDREN? NOW, SON, I DIDN'T CLAIM THEY WAS HER NATURAL-BORN CHILDREN. THEIR OWN PRECIOUS MOTHER-- PRECIOUS WOMAN-- PASSED AWAY JULY 4th, INDEPENDENCE DAY, 1955, THE YEAR OF THE DROUGHT. WHEN I MARRIED LULA MAE, SHE WAS GOING ON 14. YOU MIGHT THINK THE AVERAGE PERSON GOING ON 14 WOULDN'T KNOW HER OWN MIND. BUT YOU TAKE LULA MAE, SHE WAS AN EXCEPTIONAL PERSON. SHE JUST PLUMB BROKE OUR HEARTS WHEN SHE RUN OFF LIKE SHE DONE. JUST PLAIN HAD NO REASON. ALL THE HOUSEWORK WAS DONE BY OUR DAUGHTERS. LULA MAE COULD JUST TAKE IT EASY. THAT WOMAN GOT POSITIVELY FAT, WHILE HER BROTHER, HE GROWED UP INTO A GIANT, WHICH IS A SIGHT DIFFERENT FROM THE WAY THEY COME TO US. A COUPLE OF WILD YOUNG'UNS THEY WAS. I CAUGHT 'EM STEALING MILK AND TURKEY EGGS. THEY'D BEEN LIVING WITH SOME MEAN, NO-ACCOUNT PEOPLE ABOUT 100 MILE EAST OF TULIP. SHE HAD GOOD CAUSE TO RUN OFF FROM THAT HOUSE. NEVER HAD NONE TO LEAVE MINE. WHAT ABOUT HER BROTHER? DIDN'T HE LEAVE, TOO? NO. WE HAD FRED WITH US TILL THE ARMY TOOK HIM. THAT'S WHY I COME. I HAD A LETTER FROM HIM. HE'S GETTING OUT IN FEBRUARY. THAT'S WHY I COME TO GET HER. LULA MAE'S PLACE IS WITH HER HUSBAND, HER CHILDREN, AND HER BROTHER. HUH? THE PRIZE FROM THE CRACKER JACK. WANT IT? UH-UH. NEVER COULD UNDERSTAND WHY THAT WOMAN RUN OFF. DON'T TELL ME SHE WEREN'T HAPPY. TALKY AS A JAYBIRD SHE WAS, WITH SOMETHING SMART TO SAY ON EVERY SUBJECT. BETTER THAN THE RADIO. THE NIGHT I PROPOSED, I CRIED LIKE A BABY. SHE SAID, "WHY ARE YOU CRYING? "OF COURSE WE'LL BE MARRIED. I NEVER BEEN MARRIED BEFORE." I LAUGHED AND HUGGED AND SQUEEZED HER. "NEVER BEEN MARRIED BEFORE." LISTEN, SON, I ADVISE YOU, I NEED A FRIEND, 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SURPRISE HER OR SCARE HER NONE. BE MY FRIEND. LET HER KNOW I'M HERE. WILL YOU DO THAT FOR ME, SON? YEAH, SURE, DOC, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT. COME ON. [DOORBELL BUZZES] [BUZZ] ALL RIGHT. COMING. [BUZZ] OH, DARLING, I'M ON MY WAY OUT. I'M HALF AN HOUR LATE. MAYBE WE CAN HAVE A DRINK TOMORROW. SURE, LULA MAE... IF YOU'RE STILL HERE TOMORROW. OH, PLEASE, WHERE IS HE? FRED? FRED? GOSH. LULA MAE. GEE, HONEY, DON'T THEY FEED YOU UP HERE? YOU'RE SO SKINNY. HI, DOC. GOSH, LULA MAE... KINGDOM COME. [KNOCK ON WINDOW] [KNOCKING] WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU ALL RIGHT? I GUESS SO. NO, I'M NOT. WILL YOU HELP ME? IF I CAN. COME TO THE BUS STATION WITH DOC AND ME. HE STILL THINKS I'M GOING BACK. I CAN'T PLAY THE SCENE ALONE. WHAT CAN I DO? HE'S YOUR HUSBAND. NO, HE'S NOT. HE'S NOT? IT WAS ANNULLED AGES AGO. HE JUST WON'T ACCEPT IT. PLEASE, FRED, I'LL SAY YOU'RE SEEING US OFF. DON'T SAY ANYTHING. JUST MEET US OUT FRONT IN ABOUT AN HOUR. PLEASE? YOU WAIT RIGHT HERE, HONEY. I'LL GET THE BAG. WHY DON'T I GET SOME MAGAZINES? PLEASE, FRED, DON'T LEAVE ME. ATTENTION, PLEASE. LEAVING FROM PLATFORM FIVE, THROUGH COACH TO DALLAS-- PHILADELPHIA, COLUMBUS, INDIANAPOLIS, TERRE HAUTE, ST. LOUIS, TULSA, OKLAHOMA CITY, DENISON, DALLAS. COME ON, LULA MAE. THAT'S US. DOC, I'M NOT COMING WITH YOU. COME ON. LET'S WALK QUIETLY. I'LL TRY AND HELP YOU UNDERSTAND. HELP ME OUT, FRED. I APPRECIATE YOU WANT TO HELP, BUT IT'S BETWEEN LULA MAE AND ME. SURE, DOC. I LOVE YOU, LULA MAE. I KNOW, AND THAT'S THE TROUBLE. IT'S A MISTAKE YOU ALWAYS MADE-- TRYING TO LOVE A WILD THING. YOU WERE ALWAYS LUGGING HOME WILD THINGS-- A HAWK WITH A BROKEN WING, A FULL-GROWN WILDCAT WITH A BROKEN LEG... REMEMBER? THERE'S SOMETHING-- YOU MUSTN'T GIVE YOUR HEART TO A WILD THING. THE MORE YOU DO, THE STRONGER THEY GET UNTIL THEY'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO FLY INTO A TREE, THEN TO HIGHER TREES, THEN TO THE SKY. THERE'S SOMETHING I GOT TO TELL YOU. EXCUSE ME. COUPLE WEEKS AGO, I GOT A LETTER FROM FRED. FROM FRED? HE'S ALL RIGHT, ISN'T HE? YEAH, HE'S FINE, I GUESS. HE'S GETTING OUT OF THE ARMY IN FEBRUARY. IN FEBRUARY? WELL, THAT'S ONLY FOUR MONTHS. SO, SEE, YOU GOT TO COME BACK. YOUR PLACE IS WITH US. DOC, YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND. I CAN'T COME BACK. YOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING. I DON'T WANT TO PRESSURE YOU, BUT IT GOT TO. IF YOU DON'T COME, I'LL HAVE TO TELL YOUNG FRED HE BETTER SIGN UP FOR ANOTHER HITCH. DON'T DO THAT. DON'T WRITE THAT TO HIM. I'LL WRITE HIM AND SAY I WANT HIM WITH ME. I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM. YOU'RE TALKING CRAZY, LULA MAE. DOC, STOP CALLING ME THAT. I'M NOT LULA MAE ANYMORE. ALL RIGHT, LULA MAE. I GUESS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. KEEP AN EYE ON HER, WILL YOU, SON? AT LEAST SEE SHE EATS SOMETHING ONCE IN A WHILE. SURE, DOC. SO SKINNY. PLEASE, DOC. PLEASE UNDERSTAND. I LOVE YOU, BUT I'M JUST NOT LULA MAE ANYMORE. I'M NOT. YOU KNOW THE TERRIBLE THING, FRED, DARLING? I AM STILL LULA MAE-- 14 YEARS OLD, STEALING TURKEY EGGS, AND RUNNING THROUGH A BRIAR PATCH. EXCEPT NOW I CALL IT HAVING THE MEAN REDS. WELL, IT'S STILL TOO EARLY TO GO TO TIFFANY'S. I GUESS THE NEXT BEST THING IS A DRINK. YES, I VERY MUCH NEED A DRINK. BUY ME ONE, FRED, DARLING? SURE. ONLY PROMISE ME ONE THING-- DON'T TAKE ME HOME UNTIL I'M DRUNK... UNTIL I'M VERY DRUNK, INDEED. [DRUM BEATS] [BAND PLAYS] DO YOU THINK SHE'S TALENTED, DEEPLY AND IMPORTANTLY TALENTED? NO. AMUSINGLY AND SUPERFICIALLY TALENTED, YES, BUT DEEPLY AND IMPORTANTLY, NO. GRACIOUS. DO YOU THINK SHE'S HANDSOMELY PAID? HMM? OH. INDEED. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. IF I HAD HER MONEY, I'D BE RICHER THAN SHE IS. HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT? BECAUSE I'D KEEP THE CANDY STORE. OLD SALLY TOMATO-- THAT'S MY CANDY STORE. I'D ALWAYS KEEP SALLY. THAT'S WHY I'D BE RICHER THAN SHE IS. WE'D BETTER GET A LITTLE MORE AIR. TOM, DICK, AND HARRY-- NO. CORRECTION. EVERY TOM, DICK, AND SID-- HARRY WAS HIS FRIEND. ANYWAY, EVERY TOM, DICK, AND SID SINKS-- THINKS IF HE TAKES A GIRL TO DINNER, SHE'LL JUST CURL UP IN A LITTLE FURRY BALL AT HIS FEET, RIGHT? I HAVE BY ACTUAL COUNT BEEN TAKEN TO DINNER BY 26 DIFFERENT RATS IN THE LAST 2 MONTHS, 27, IF YOU COUNT BENNY SHACKLETT, WHO'S IN MANY WAYS A SUPERRAT. I FORGOT MY KEY. NEVER MIND. I JUST BUZZED YUNIOSHI. OH. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING FUNNY? IN SPITE OF THE FACT MOST OF THESE RATS FORK UP $50 FOR THE POWDER ROOM LIKE LITTLE DOLLS... [BUZZING] I FIND I HAVE $9.00 LESS IN THE BANK ACCOUNT THAN I HAD SIX MONTHS AGO. SO, MY DARLING FRED, I HAVE TONIGHT MADE A VERY SERIOUS DECISION. AND WHAT IS THAT? NO LONGER WILL I PLAY THE FIELD. CONGRATULATIONS. THE FIELD STINKS, BOTH ECONOMICALLY AND SOCIALLY, AND I'M GIVING IT UP. WHOA. MISS GOLIGHTLY, THIS TIME I'M CALLING THE POLICE, THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, AND NEW YORK STATE HOUSING COMMISSION, AND, IF NECESSARY, THE BOARD OF HEALTH! QUIET, UP THERE. YOU WANT TO WAKE THE WHOLE HOUSE? AS MISS GOLIGHTLY WAS SAYING BEFORE SHE WAS SO RUDELY INTERRUPTED, MISS GOLIGHTLY FURTHER ANNOUNCES HER INTENTION TO DEVOTE HER NOT INCONSIDERABLE TALENTS TO THE IMMEDIATE CAPTURE, FOR THE PURPOSE OF MATRIMONY, OF MR. BR-RUTHERFORD-- RUSTY TO HIS FRIENDS, OF WHOM I'M SURE HE HAS MANY-- TRAWLER. WHO? RUSTY TRAWLER. YOU MET HIM AT MY PARTY. HE CAME WITH MAG WILDWOOD, NOT THE BEAUTIFUL LATIN TYPE. THE OTHER ONE, THE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE A PIG. REMEMBER? THE 9th RICHEST MAN IN AMERICA UNDER 50? AH... DO I DETECT A LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL IN YOUR EYE? TOUGH BEANS, BUDDY, 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GOING TO BE. HI, CAT. HOLLY, YOU'RE DRUNK. TRUE. ABSOLUTELY TRUE. TRUE, BUT IRRELEVANT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SO I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A DRINK TO THE NEW MRS. RUSTY TRAWLER... ME. HEY, TAKE IT EASY. WHAT'S THE MATTER? DON'T YOU THINK I CAN DO IT? TELL ME. I'M INTERESTED. DON'T YOU THINK I CAN? YOU HEARD THE DOC. MY BROTHER GETS OUT IN FEBRUARY. THE DOC WON'T TAKE HIM BACK. IT'S ALL UP TO ME. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I NEED MONEY, AND I'LL DO WHATEVER I HAVE TO DO TO GET IT. SO... THIS TIME NEXT MONTH, I'LL BE THE NEW MRS. RUSTY TRAWLER. I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A LITTLE DRINK TO THAT. IT'S ALL GONE. ISN'T THAT TOO BAD? GOT ANY WHISKEY UPSTAIRS? BUT YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH. GO AHEAD. GET THE WHISKEY. I'LL PAY YOU FOR IT. HOLLY, PLEASE. NO, NO. YOU DISAPPROVE OF ME, AND I DO NOT ACCEPT DRINKS FROM GENTLEMEN WHO DISAPPROVE OF ME. I'LL PAY FOR MY OWN WHISKEY. DON'T YOU FORGET IT. HOLLY. I DO NOT ACCEPT DRINKS FROM DISAPPROVING GENTLEMEN, ESPECIALLY NOT DISAPPROVING GENTLEMEN WHO ARE KEPT BY OTHER LADIES. SO TAKE IT. YOU SHOULD BE USED TO TAKING MONEY FROM LADIES BY NOW. IF I WERE YOU, I'D BE MORE CAREFUL WITH MY MONEY. RUSTY TRAWLER IS TOO HARD A WAY OF EARNING IT. IT SHOULD TAKE YOU EXACTLY FOUR SECONDS TO CROSS FROM HERE TO THAT DOOR. I'LL GIVE YOU TWO. [WHISTLING MOON RIVER] HEH. HI. I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT, THEN I SAW THE PAPER, AND-- WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M KIND OF EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT, BUT SINCE IT CONCERNS YOU, I THOUGHT I SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT IN PERSON. WHAT? WHAT? MM-HMM. OH. THE EARPLUGS. I CAN'T GO THROUGH THE WHOLE THING AGAIN. IT'S SUFFICIENT TO SAY, I'VE COME TO MAKE UP. AS AN ADDED INDUCEMENT, I HAVE ALL KINDS OF NEWS. CAN I COME IN? I GUESS SO. JUST A MINUTE. DO I HAVE A NIGHTGOWN ON? NO, I DON'T. WOULD YOU TURN AROUND FOR A SECOND? NEVER MIND. THAT'S CORNY ANYWAY. I'LL TURN AROUND MYSELF. COME IN. HAVE... YOU SEEN THE PAPER? MMM. RUSTY, YOU MEAN. MM-HMM. YES. I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. CERTAINLY HAD HIM... PEGGED WRONG, DIDN'T I? I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST A RAT, BUT HE WAS A SUPERRAT ALL ALONG. A SUPERRAT IN RAT'S CLOTHING. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE BEST PART. NOT ONLY WAS HE A SUPERRAT, HE WAS ALSO BROKE. BROKE? I MEAN, BUT NOT A FARTHING. HIS FAMILY HAS MONEY, OF COURSE, BUT HE PERSONALLY IS BROKE. IT TURNS OUT HE OWES $700,000. CAN YOU IMAGINE ANYONE OWING $700,000? $43, YES. ANYWAY, THAT'S WHY HE DECIDED TO MARRY THE QUEEN OF THE PIG PEOPLE. I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, FRED, DARLING-- I'D MARRY YOU FOR YOUR MONEY IN A MINUTE. WOULD YOU MARRY ME FOR MY MONEY? IN A MINUTE. I GUESS IT'S PRETTY LUCKY NEITHER OF US IS RICH, HUH? YEAH. OH, FRED, DARLING, I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? [MEOW] WRITING, MOSTLY. SOLD A STORY. JUST GOT WORD THIS MORNING. OH, THAT'S MARVELOUS. IT REALLY IS. ONLY HOW DOES YOUR DECORATOR FRIEND FEEL ABOUT IT? AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE SAVING YOURSELF? YOU KNOW SOMETHING? I HAVEN'T GOT AROUND TO TELLING HER YET. LOOK, WHY DON'T WE GO HAVE A DRINK OR TAKE A WALK TO CELEBRATE? ALL RIGHT. THERE'S SOME CHAMPAGNE IN THE ICEBOX. WHY DON'T YOU OPEN IT WHILE I GET DRESSED? O.K. I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER DRUNK CHAMPAGNE BEFORE BREAKFAST BEFORE. WITH BREAKFAST ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS, BUT NEVER BEFORE BEFORE. WELL, I'VE GOT A WONDERFUL IDEA. WE'LL SPEND THE DAY DOING THINGS WE'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE. WE'LL TAKE TURNS. FIRST SOMETHING YOU'VE NEVER DONE, THEN ME. 'COURSE, I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING I'VE NEVER DONE. WHOA! I'VE NEVER BEEN FOR A WALK IN THE MORNING BEFORE. I'VE WALKED UP 5th AVENUE AT 6:00, BUT I CONSIDER THAT STILL NIGHT. DO YOU THINK IT COUNTS? SURE, IT COUNTS. NOW WE'RE EVEN. DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT? LOVE WHAT? TIFFANY'S. ISN'T IT WONDERFUL? SEE WHAT I MEAN, HOW NOTHING BAD COULD HAPPEN TO YOU IN A PLACE LIKE THIS? IT ISN'T THAT I GIVE A HOOT ABOUT JEWELRY, EXCEPT DIAMONDS, OF COURSE. LIKE THAT. WHAT DO YOU THINK? WELL... PERSONALLY, I THINK IT WOULD BE TACKY TO WEAR DIAMONDS BEFORE I'M 40. WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT MEANTIME, YOU SHOULD HAVE SOMETHING. I'LL WAIT. NO. I'M GOING TO BUY YOU A PRESENT. YOU BOUGHT ME A TYPEWRITER RIBBON, AND IT BROUGHT LUCK. BUT TIFFANY'S CAN BE PRETTY EXPENSIVE. I'VE GOT MY CHECK AND $10. I WOULDN'T LET YOU CASH YOUR CHECK, BUT A PRESENT FOR $10 OR UNDER, THAT I'LL ACCEPT. OF COURSE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'LL FIND HERE FOR $10. MAY I HELP YOU? PERHAPS. WE'RE LOOKING FOR A PRESENT FOR THE LADY. CERTAINLY, SIR. IS THERE SOMETHING SPECIAL YOU HAD IN MIND? WELL, WE HAD CONSIDERED DIAMONDS, AND I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND YOU, BUT THE LADY FEELS THAT DIAMONDS ARE TACKY FOR HER. OH, I THINK THEY'RE DIVINE ON OLDER WOMEN, BUT THEY'RE NOT RIGHT FOR ME, YOU UNDERSTAND. CERTAINLY. IN FAIRNESS, I OUGHT TO EXPLAIN THERE'S ALSO A SECONDARY PROBLEM, ONE OF FINANCE. WE CAN ONLY AFFORD TO SPEND... A LIMITED AMOUNT. MAY I ASK HOW LIMITED? $10. $10. THAT WAS THE OUTSIDE FIGURE, YES. I SEE. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING FOR $10? FRANKLY, MADAM, WITHIN THAT PRICE RANGE, THE VARIETY OF MERCHANDISE IS RATHER LIMITED. HOWEVER, I DO THINK WE MIGHT HAVE-- LET'S SEE... STRICTLY AS A NOVELTY, YOU UNDERSTAND, FOR THE LADY AND GENTLEMAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING, A STERLING SILVER TELEPHONE DIALER. THAT'S 6.75, INCLUDING TAX. A STERLING SILVER TELEPHONE DIALER. YES, SIR. THAT'S 6.75, INCLUDING FEDERAL TAX. WELL, THE PRICE IS RIGHT, BUT I MUST SAY, I'D RATHER HOPED FOR SOMETHING SLIGHTLY MORE-- HOW SHALL I SAY IT-- ROMANTIC IN FEELING. WHAT DO YOU THINK? A STERLING SILVER TELEPHONE DIALER-- I CERTAINLY THINK IT'S HANDSOME, BUT, WELL, YOU DO UNDERSTAND. WELL, WE TRIED, BUT-- WE COULD HAVE SOMETHING ENGRAVED, COULDN'T WE? YES, I SUPPOSE SO. YES, INDEED. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS, YOU'D HAVE TO BUY SOMETHING FIRST IN ORDER TO HAVE SOME OBJECT UPON WHICH TO PLACE THE ENGRAVING. YOU SEE THE DIFFICULTY? WELL, WE COULD HAVE THIS ENGRAVED, COULDN'T WE? I THINK IT WOULD BE VERY SMART. THIS, I TAKE IT, WAS NOT PURCHASED AT TIFFANY'S? NO. ACTUALLY, IT WAS PURCHASED CONCURRENT WITH-- WELL, ACTUALLY, IT CAME INSIDE A... WELL, A BOX OF CRACKER JACK. I SEE. DO THEY STILL REALLY HAVE PRIZES IN CRACKER JACK BOXES? OH, YES. THAT'S NICE TO KNOW. IT GIVES ONE A FEELING OF SOLIDARITY, ALMOST OF CONTINUITY WITH THE PAST, THAT SORT OF THING. WOULD TIFFANY'S REALLY ENGRAVE IT FOR US? THEY WOULDN'T FEEL IT BENEATH THEM OR ANYTHING? WELL, IT IS RATHER UNUSUAL, MADAM, BUT I THINK YOU'LL FIND THAT TIFFANY'S IS VERY UNDERSTANDING. IF YOU WOULD TELL ME THE INITIALS, I THINK WE COULD HAVE SOMETHING READY FOR YOU IN THE MORNING. DIDN'T I TELL YOU THIS WAS A LOVELY PLACE? WHAT IS THIS PLACE ANYWAY? YOU WANTED TO SIT DOWN. IT'S THE PUBLIC LIBRARY. YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HERE? NO. THAT MAKES TWO FOR ME. I DON'T SEE ANY BOOKS. THEY'RE IN THERE. SEE? MM-HMM. EACH ONE OF THESE DRAWERS IS STUFFED WITH LITTLE CARDS. EACH LITTLE CARD IS A BOOK OR AN AUTHOR. I THINK THAT'S FASCINATING. V-A-R-J-A-K. REALLY? LOOK. ISN'T IT MARVELOUS? THERE YOU ARE, RIGHT IN THE PUBLIC LIBRARY. "VARJAK, PAUL. NINE LIVES." THEN A LOT OF NUMBERS. DO THEY REALLY HAVE THE BOOK ITSELF, LIVE? SURE. FOLLOW ME. [DING] NUMBER 57. THAT'S US. 57, PLEASE. NINE LIVES BY VARJAK, PAUL. SHH. HAVE YOU READ IT? IT'S MARVELOUS. I'M AFRAID I HAVEN'T. YOU SHOULD. HE WROTE IT. HE'S VARJAK, PAUL, IN PERSON. SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME. SHOW HER YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE OR DINERS CLUB CARD OR SOMETHING. HE'S REALLY THE AUTHOR. CROSS MY HEART AND KISS MY ELBOW. WOULD YOU KINDLY LOWER YOUR VOICE? AUTOGRAPH IT. WOULDN'T THAT BE NICE? SORT OF MAKE IT MORE PERSONAL? REALLY, MISS... GO AHEAD. DON'T BE STUCK UP. AUTOGRAPH IT. WHAT SHALL I SAY? SOMETHING SENTIMENTAL, I THINK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP THAT. YOU'RE DEFACING PUBLIC PROPERTY. WELL, IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL, COME ON, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. I DON'T THINK THIS PLACE IS HALF AS NICE AS TIFFANY'S. DID YOU EVER STEAL ANYTHING FROM A 5-AND-10 WHEN YOU WERE A KID? NO. I'M THE SENSITIVE, BOOKISH TYPE. DID YOU? YES. I STILL DO NOW AND THEN, SORT OF TO KEEP MY HAND IN. COME ON. DON'T BE CHICKEN. YOU'VE NEVER DONE IT, AND IT'S YOUR TURN. [TOOT] BOO! RAAH! HA HA HA HA. HA HA HA HA. I CAN'T SEE. HA HA HA HA. HA HA HA HA. [HISS] [MEOW] HI, CAT. LADY OF THE HOUSE AT HOME? HOLLY? HOLLY. TRICK OR TREAT. YOU'RE CRAZY. YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU? BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAY. TOOLEY. YEAH? I'VE... GOT TO TALK TO YOU. ALL RIGHT. YOU WANT A DRINK? UH-UH. IF THIS IS GOING TO BE A SERIOUS DISCUSSION, AND SUDDENLY I'M TERRIBLY AFRAID IT IS, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE OFF THAT RIDICULOUS MASK. OR ELSE I'LL HAVE TO WEAR ONE, TOO. TOOLEY, LOOK, PLEASE. WHAT'S THE MATTER? GIRL TROUBLE? IS THAT IT, DARLING? OH, I SEE. WELL, THAT'S NOT SO SERIOUS. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'VE BEEN EXPECTING IT. I CAN'T SAY I LIKE IT, BUT I'VE BEEN EXPECTING IT. WHO IS SHE? HASN'T GOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER. THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME. OH. THEN IT IS SERIOUS. WELL, NOW. TOOLEY, YOU'RE A VERY STYLISH GIRL. CAN'T WE END THIS STYLISHLY? END IT? YES. WELL... I DO BELIEVE LOVE HAS FOUND ANDY HARDY. LET'S SEE... A WAITRESS? A SALESGIRL? NO. SHE'D HAVE TO BE SOMEONE RICH, WOULDN'T SHE, PAUL? SOMEONE WHO COULD HELP YOU. CURIOUSLY ENOUGH... SHE'S A GIRL WHO CAN'T HELP ANYONE, NOT EVEN HERSELF. THE THING IS, I CAN HELP HER, AND IT'S A NICE FEELING FOR A CHANGE. ALL RIGHT. I UNDERSTAND. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, PAUL. I AM A VERY STYLISH GIRL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WRITING A CHECK. DON'T LOOK SO BEWILDERED. SURELY YOU'VE NOTICED ME WRITING CHECKS BEFORE. PAY TO THE ORDER OF PAUL VARJAK-- $1,000. TAKE HER AWAY SOMEWHERE FOR A WEEK. YOU'RE ENTITLED TO A VACATION WITH PAY. SIMPLY A MATTER OF FAIR LABOR PRACTICE, DARLING. IF YOU WERE REALLY SMART, YOU'D GET THE BOYS TOGETHER AND ORGANIZE A UNION. THAT WAY YOU'D GET ALL THE FRINGE BENEFITS-- HOSPITALIZATION, A PENSION PLAN, AND UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE WHEN YOU'RE... HOW SHALL I PUT IT? BETWEEN ENGAGEMENTS. THANKS FOR MAKING IT EASIER FOR ME. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, DARLING. TAKE THE CHECK. AND CALL YOUR GIRL. NO, THANKS. I'VE GOT A CHECK OF MY OWN. WHEN YOU GET YOURSELF A NEW WRITER TO HELP, TRY AND FIND ONE MY SIZE. THAT WAY YOU WON'T HAVE TO EVEN SHORTEN THE SLEEVES. [RING] [RING] HOLLY! HOLLY! HOLLY! HEY! OH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? EXCUSE ME. UH, I--I'M SORRY. YOU LOOK JUST LIKE A GIRL I KNOW NAMED HOLLY. REALLY? I'M SORRY. HI. WHAT DO YOU WANT? I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. I'M BUSY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? READING. SOUTH AMERICA-- LAND OF WEALTH AND PROMISE? IT'S VERY INTERESTING. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. I SAID LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. SHH! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU ANYWAY? WHAT'S HAPPENED? FRED, WILL YOU PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE? HOLLY. I LOVE YOU. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? TO THE LADIES ROOM. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? LET ME GO. NO. FRED, LET ME GO. LET'S GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT. I AM NOT NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN FRED, NOR AM I BENNY SHACKLETT. MY NAME IS PAUL-- PAUL VARJAK-- AND I LOVE YOU. LET ME GO. NOT TILL WE SETTLE THIS. WHAT'S ALL THIS JAZZ ABOUT SOUTH AMERICA? I THOUGHT IF I'M MARRYING A SOUTH AMERICAN, I'D BETTER FIND OUT SOMETHING ABOUT THE COUNTRY. MARRY? WHAT SOUTH AMERICAN? JOSE. WHO THE HELL'S JOSE? JOSE de SILVA PEREIRA. WHO THE HELL'S JOSE de SILVA PEREIRA? DARLING, YOU MET HIM. I KNOW YOU DID. MAG WILDWOOD'S FRIEND. HE CAME TO THE PARTY WITH RUSTY. WELL, MY DEAR, YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS, BUT NOT ONLY IS HE HANDSOME AND RICH, HE'S ABSOLUTELY CUCKOO FOR ME. YOU'RE CRAZY. DO YOU THINK YOU OWN ME? THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THINK. THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY ALWAYS THINKS, BUT EVERYBODY HAPPENS TO BE WRONG. LOOK, I AM NOT EVERYBODY. OR AM I? IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY THINK? THAT I'M NO DIFFERENT FROM ALL YOUR OTHER RATS AND SUPERRATS? WAIT A MINUTE. IF THAT'S IT... IF THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY THINK... THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO GIVE YOU. WHAT'S THAT? $50 FOR THE POWDER ROOM. [DOORBELL BUZZES] [BUZZ] [BUZZ] [BUZZ] [BUZZ] THE PLACE IS IN SUCH A MESS, I COULDN'T FACE IT ALONE. AH, YOU HAVE A MESSAGE. NO. OLe. [DRIPPING] GOOD EVENING, MR. YUNIOSHI. OH, GOOD EVENING, PAUL. GOOD EVENING. GOOD EVENING. AAH! [CRASH] OH! PLEASE, YOU MUST HELP ME. [MEOW] [MEOW] HOLLY! HOLLY! AAH! [MEOW] HOLLY. LET ME GO. HOLLY. HOLLY. OH, FRED. HOLLY. FRED. HOLLY. NO, NO. WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER? NOTHING. THERE WAS A TELEGRAM, AND THEN THIS-- CRASHING EVERYTHING AND ACTING LIKE A CRAZY-- IT'S APPALLING. I CAN'T HAVE A PUBLIC SCANDAL. IT'S TOO DELICATE-- MY NAME, MY POSITION, MY FAMILY. WILL THERE BE THE POLICE AGAIN? I DON'T SEE WHY. THERE'S NO LAW AGAINST BUSTING UP YOUR APARTMENT. WHERE IS THE TELEGRAM? THERE IT IS. "RECEIVED NOTICE YOUNG FRED KILLED..." "IN JEEP ACCIDENT, FORT RILEY, KANSAS." "YOUR HUSBAND AND CHILDREN JOIN IN THE SORROW OF OUR MUTUAL LOSS." "LETTER FOLLOWING. LOVE, DOC." HER BROTHER FRED. OH. THIS BROTHER, WAS SHE VERY CLOSE TO HIM? YEAH. WHAT CAN ONE DO? TRY TO HELP HER. I TRIED. IT DIDN'T DO MUCH GOOD. YOU GOT A RANCH OR SOMETHING IN BRAZIL? YES. THAT'S GOOD. SHE'LL LIKE THAT. WELL, YOU BETTER GET IN THERE. [SPEAKING PORTUGUESE] [DOORBELL BUZZES] [MEOW] [BUZZ] [MEOW] HI. HELLO. GOT YOUR WIRE. HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE TO REACH ME? OH, I TRIED EVERYTHING-- CALLED PEOPLE, ASKED AROUND, AND SUDDENLY I THOUGHT OF THE PHONE BOOK. ANYWAY, I'M GLAD YOU CAME. YOU LOOK FINE. I'M FAT AS A PIG, AND I HAVEN'T HAD MY HAIR DONE, BUT I'M HAPPY, REALLY HAPPY. IT PROBABLY SHOWS. YOU LOOK TReS DISTINGUE YOURSELF. I'VE GOT A JOB. I'VE BEEN WRITING A LITTLE. I'VE READ THREE OF YOUR STORIES-- TWO IN THE NEW YORKER AND ONE IN THAT FUNNY LITTLE MAGAZINE. WON'T YOU SIT DOWN? THANK YOU. I'VE TAKEN UP KNITTING. SO I SEE. IT'LL PROBABLY LOOK, UH...VERY NICE ONCE IT'S FINISHED. I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT IT. JOSE BROUGHT UP THE BLUEPRINTS FOR A NEW RANCH HOUSE HE'S BUILDING. I HAVE THIS STRANGE FEELING THAT THE BLUEPRINTS AND MY KNITTING INSTRUCTIONS GOT SWITCHED. I MAY BE KNITTING A RANCH HOUSE. [SPEAKING PORTUGUESE] [RECORD STOPS] REALLY, DARLING, I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW DIVINELY HAPPY I AM. WHAT IS THAT, ANYHOW? PORTUGUESE-- A VERY COMPLICATED LANGUAGE. 4,000 IRREGULAR VERBS. [SPEAKING PORTUGUESE] HMM. VERY IMPRESSIVE. WHAT'S IT MEAN? I BELIEVE YOU ARE IN LEAGUE WITH THE BUTCHER. HOLLY, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT? [MEOW] WHY DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME? JOSE'S IN WASHINGTON FOR THE NIGHT, SO I THOUGHT I'D ASK YOU OVER, AND, WELL, I'VE SAID GOODBYE TO EVERYONE ELSE I CARE ABOUT. YOU'RE GOING SOMEWHERE? I'M GOING TO RIO TOMORROW. I'VE GOT THE PLANE TICKET, AND I'VE EVEN SAID GOODBYE TO SALLY. JOSE'S FLYING DOWN WITH YOU? WE'RE GOING ON SEPARATE PLANES. HE DOESN'T THINK IT LOOKS RIGHT FOR US TO TRAVEL TOGETHER. HIS FAMILY'S IMPORTANT DOWN THERE, SO HE WORRIES ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT. ANYWAY, I THOUGHT I'D SHOW OFF AND COOK DINNER FOR US. DID I TELL YOU HOW DIVINELY AND UTTERLY HAPPY I AM? YES. YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED, THEN? WELL, HE HASN'T REALLY ASKED ME, NOT IN SO MANY WORDS. FOUR, YOU MEAN? HUH? WELL, THAT'S HOW MANY WORDS IT TAKES-- WILL YOU MARRY ME? [POP] OH, WE'LL GET MARRIED, ALL RIGHT, AND IN CHURCH AND WITH HIS FAMILY THERE, AND THAT'S WHY HE'S WAITING TILL WE GET TO RIO... PROBABLY. [POT WHISTLES] DO YOU THINK IT'S TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING? I HOPE YOU LIKE CHICKEN AND SAFFRON RICE SERVED WITH CHOCOLATE SAUCE. IT'S AN EAST INDIAN CLASSIC, MY DEAR. THREE MONTHS AGO, I COULDN'T SCRAMBLE EGGS. AAH! AAH! OH, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? OH. OH, GOLLY, DARLING. I DID SO WANT TO IMPRESS YOU. LOOK, I'M NOT MUCH FOR CHICKEN WITH SAUCE ANYWAY. WHY DON'T WE GO OUT SOMEWHERE? LET ME BUY YOU A FAREWELL DINNER. OH, THAT WOULD BE FUN, AS LONG AS I CAN GO LIKE THIS. YEARS FROM NOW, YEARS AND YEARS, I'LL BE BACK-- ME AND MY NINE BRAZILIAN BRATS. THEY'LL BE DARK LIKE JOSE, OF COURSE, BUT THEY'LL HAVE BRIGHT GREEN, BEAUTIFUL EYES. I'LL BRING THEM BACK, ALL RIGHT, BECAUSE THEY MUST SEE THIS. OH, I LOVE NEW YORK. THEN WHY ARE YOU LEAVING? WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU ANYWAY? LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, AND I DON'T BLAME YOU. I'VE ALWAYS THROWN OUT SUCH A JAZZY LINE, BUT REALLY, EXCEPT FOR DOC AND YOURSELF, JOSE'S MY FIRST NONRAT ROMANCE. NOT THAT HE'S MY IDEA OF THE ABSOLUTE FINITO. HE'S TOO PRIM AND CAUTIOUS TO BE MY ABSOLUTE IDEAL. NOW, IF I COULD CHOOSE FROM ANYBODY ALIVE, I WOULDN'T PICK JOSE. NERO, MAYBE, OR ALBERT SCHWEITZER... OR LEONARD BERNSTEIN. BUT I AM MAD ABOUT JOSE. I HONESTLY THINK I'D GIVE UP SMOKING IF HE ASKED ME. COME ON, DARLING. LET'S EAT. IT'S GETTING LATE. I'M LEAVING TOMORROW, AND I HAVEN'T EVEN BEGUN TO PACK. DIDN'T WANT JOSE TO THINK I'M A GIRL WHO LOSES HER KEY, SO I HAD 26 OF THEM MADE. WAIT. I GOT A BETTER IDEA. KIND OF A FAREWELL GESTURE. SOMEBODY MUST HAVE TRIPPED THE LOCK. AH, CRAFTY DEVIL, THAT YUNIOSHI. WAKE UP, WAKE UP! THE BRITISH ARE COMING! OR, IN THIS CASE, THE BRAZILIANS. EXACTLY. OOH, I'VE STILL GOT TO CLEAN UP ALL THAT RICE. HEY, YOU KNOW-- HEY! THERE SHE ARE WHO DID IT! THE WANTED WOMAN! THERE! GROENBURGER. NARCOTICS SQUAD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY DON'T YOU ASK YOUR BOSS? WHAT BOSS? SALLY TOMATO. ASK HIM. COME ON. LOOK AROUND FOR NARCOTIC! THEY GOT PLENTY NARCOTIC IN THERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? VARJAK. HOLD IT DOWN OVER THERE! PAUL VARJAK. V-A-R-J-A-K. AW, GET LOST! GET OUT! I'M A WRITER. W-R-I-T-E-R. [REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS] I CAN'T ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS. ONE AT A TIME. ONE, PLEASE. GOOD. [SHOUTING] [SHOUTING] I CAN'T ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS. ONE AT A TIME. KNOCK IT OFF! NOW, DARLING, WHY DON'T YOU START? DID YOU CARRY MESSAGES FROM TOMATO IN CODE? OF COURSE NOT. I'D JUST GIVE MR. O'SHAUGHNESSY THE WEATHER REPORT. SIMPLY DO NOT ASK ME WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT. PARCE QUE JE NE SAIS PAS, MES CHERS. YOU DID VISIT TOMATO? EVERY WEEK. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? TOMATO'S PART OF THE NARCOTICS SYNDICATE. HE NEVER MENTIONED NARCOTICS. THESE WRETCHED PEOPLE KEEP PERSECUTING HIM. HE'S A DEEPLY SENSITIVE PERSON, A DARLING OLD MAN. THEN YOU'RE INNOCENT. OF COURSE I'M INNOCENT. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WELL, WHO'S YOUR LAWYER? I DON'T KNOW. MR. O'SHAUGHNESSY, I GUESS. MR. O'SHAUGHNESSY! HEY! GET OUT OF HERE! ALL RIGHT, COME ON! O.K., MOVE. MR. O'SHAUGHNESSY? AW, SHUT UP! GET IN THERE! [TELEPHONE RINGS] [RING] YEAH. MR. PAUL VARJAK? YEAH. READY WITH MR. BERMAN IN HOLLYWOOD. KINDLY DEPOSIT $3.00 FOR THE FIRST 3 MINUTES. [COINS JINGLE] [BED MOTOR WHIRS] HELLO? HELLO? O.J. BERMAN HERE. WHO'S CALLING? BBBHHAA! MR. BERMAN, THIS IS PAUL VARJAK. NICE TO TALK TO YOU, KID. VARJAK. V-A-R-J-A-K. I'M A FRIEND OF HOLLY'S. WE MET AT A PARTY IN NEW YORK. WHO? PAUL. PAUL VARJAK. V-A-R... MR. BERMAN, THIS IS FRED. OH, FRED, BABY, HUH? YOU'RE CALLING ABOUT THE KID, HUH? EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL. YOU JUST RELAX. UHH! I SPOKE TO MY LAWYER IN NEW YORK. I TOLD HIM TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING, SEND ME THE BILL, KEEP MY NAME ANOMINOUS. WHAT? I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF IT. YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE IN A TUNNEL. IT'S THIS EXECUTIVE PHONE I HAVE. WHAT? EXECUTIVE PHONE! THEY ONLY GOT HER ON 10,000 BAIL. MY LAWYER CAN GET HER OUT AT 10 A.M. I TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO. YOU BUST INTO THAT DUMP SHE LIVES IN, COLLECT ALL HER JUNK, GO DOWN TO THE JAIL, GET HER OUT, TAKE HER TO A HOTEL UNDER A PHONY NAME. TRY TO KEEP HER AWAY FROM THE REPORTERS. WILL YOU DO THAT? SURE, MR. BERMAN. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE-- FORGET IT. I MEAN, I OWE HER SOMETHING. NOT THAT I OWE HER ANYTHING IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT, BUT...SHE'S A CRAZY. SHE'S A PHONY. [BED MOTOR WHIRS] BUT SHE'S A REAL PHONY. KNOW WHAT I MEAN, KID? YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. THANKS, MR. BERMAN. THANKS A LOT. RIGHT! [CLICK] [BED MOTOR WHIRS] WHY DON'T YOU BEHAVE? QUEL NIGHT. I DID A LITTLE HOUSEBREAKING WHILE YOU WERE AWAY. CLAYTON HOTEL, DRIVER. 84th AND MADISON. O.J. THINKS IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA IF YOU STAYED OUT OF SIGHT FOR A WHILE. I GOT YOUR STUFF HERE, INCLUDING CAT. HOPE HE'S ALL RIGHT. [MEOW] HELLO, CAT... POOR NO-NAME SLOB. LISTEN, DARLING, DID YOU FIND THAT PLANE TICKET? RIGHT HERE. WE CAN CASH IT IN. CASH IT IN? ARE YOU KIDDING? WHAT TIME IS IT? A LITTLE AFTER 10:00. GOOD. IDYLWILD AIRPORT, DRIVER. NEVER MIND. YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WHY NOT? YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU'RE UNDER INDICTMENT. YOU JUMP BAIL, THEY'LL THROW AWAY THE KEY. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, DARLING. THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, I'LL BE MARRIED TO THE FUTURE PRESIDENT OF BRAZIL. THAT'LL GIVE ME DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY OR SOMETHING. HUH? I WOULDN'T BET ON IT. WHAT IS IT, DARLING? I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU. OH. OH, YES, I SEE. DID HE BRING IT IN PERSON, OR WAS IT... JUST THERE, SHOVED UNDER THE DOOR? A COUSIN. HAND ME MY PURSE, WILL YOU, DARLING? A GIRL CAN'T READ THAT SORT OF THING... WITHOUT HER LIPSTICK. YOU READ IT TO ME, WILL YOU, DARLING? I DON'T THINK I CAN QUITE...BEAR... ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT ME TO? MM-HMM. O.K. "MY DEAREST LITTLE GIRL, "I HAVE LOVED YOU "KNOWING YOU WERE NOT AS OTHERS, "BUT CONCEIVE OF MY DESPAIR "UPON DISCOVERING IN SUCH A BRUTAL AND PUBLIC STYLE "HOW VERY DIFFERENT YOU ARE "FROM THE MANNER OF WOMAN "A MAN OF MY POSITION COULD HOPE TO MAKE HIS WIFE. "I GRIEVE FOR THE DISGRACE "OF YOUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES, "AND I DO NOT FIND IT IN MY HEART "TO ADD MY CONDEMN... "TO THE CONDEMN THAT SURROUNDS YOU. "SO I HOPE YOU WILL FIND IT IN YOUR HEART "NOT TO CONDEMN ME. "I HAVE MY FAMILY TO PROTECT AND MY NAME "AND...I AM A COWARD WHERE THESE INSTITUTIONS ENTER. "FORGET ME, BEAUTIFUL CHILD, "AND MAY GOD BE WITH YOU. JOSE." WELL... WELL, AT LEAST HE'S HONEST. IT'S KIND OF TOUCHING. TOUCHING! THAT SQUARE-BALL JAZZ. HE SAYS HE'S A COWARD. ALL RIGHT! SO HE'S NOT A REGULAR RAT OR EVEN A SUPERRAT. HE'S JUST A SCARED LITTLE MOUSE, THAT'S ALL. BUT, OH, GOLLY... GEE! DAMN! WELL, SO MUCH FOR SOUTH AMERICA. I REALLY DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE CUT OUT TO BE QUEEN OF THE PAMPAS ANYWAY. CLAYTON HOTEL. IDYLWILD. WHAT? THE PLANE LEAVES AT 12:00, AND ON IT I PLAN TO BE. HOLLY, YOU CAN'T. NE POURQUOI PAS? I'M NOT HOTFOOTING IT AFTER JOSE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK. OH, NO. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, HE'S THE FUTURE PRESIDENT OF NOWHERE. ONLY WHY SHOULD I WASTE A GOOD PLANE TICKET? BESIDES, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO BRAZIL. PLEASE, DARLING, DON'T SIT THERE LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT. I'M GOING, AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT. ALL THEY WANT FROM ME ARE MY SERVICES AS A STATE'S WITNESS AGAINST SALLY. NOBODY HAS ANY INTENTION OF PROSECUTING ME. TO BEGIN WITH, THEY DON'T HAVE A GHOST OF A CHANCE. THIS TOWN'S FINISHED FOR ME... AT LEAST FOR A WHILE. THERE ARE CERTAIN SHADES OF LIMELIGHT THAT CAN WRECK A GIRL'S COMPLEXION. THEY'LL HAVE THE ROPE UP AT EVERY SALOON IN TOWN. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO FOR ME, DARLING. WHEN YOU GET BACK TO TOWN, CALL UP THE NEW YORK TIMES OR WHOEVER YOU CALL. MAIL ME A LIST OF THE 50 RICHEST MEN IN BRAZIL-- THE 50 RICHEST! HOLLY. I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU DO THIS. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET ME? HOLLY, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU. SO WHAT? SO WHAT? SO PLENTY! I LOVE YOU. YOU BELONG TO ME. NO. PEOPLE DON'T BELONG TO PEOPLE. OF COURSE THEY DO. NOBODY'S GOING TO PUT ME IN A CAGE. I WANT TO LOVE YOU. IT'S THE SAME THING. NO, IT'S NOT! HOLLY! I'M NOT HOLLY. I'M NOT LULA MAE, EITHER. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM! I'M LIKE CAT HERE, A NO-NAME SLOB. WE BELONG TO NOBODY, AND NOBODY BELONGS TO US. WE DON'T EVEN BELONG TO EACH OTHER. STOP THE CAB. WHAT DO YOU THINK? THIS OUGHT TO BE THE RIGHT PLACE FOR A TOUGH GUY LIKE YOU-- GARBAGE CANS, RATS GALORE. [MEOW] SCRAM! I SAID TAKE OFF! BEAT IT! LET'S GO. [THUNDER] DRIVER... PULL OVER HERE. YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, MISS WHOEVER-YOU-ARE? YOU'RE CHICKEN. YOU GOT NO GUTS. YOU'RE AFRAID TO SAY, "O.K., LIFE'S A FACT." PEOPLE DO FALL IN LOVE. PEOPLE DO BELONG TO EACH OTHER, BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY CHANCE ANYBODY'S GOT FOR REAL HAPPINESS. YOU CALL YOURSELF A FREE SPIRIT, A WILD THING. YOU'RE TERRIFIED SOMEBODY'S GOING TO STICK YOU IN A CAGE. WELL, BABY, YOU'RE ALREADY IN THAT CAGE. YOU BUILT IT YOURSELF. AND IT'S NOT BOUNDED BY TULIP, TEXAS, OR SOMALILAND. IT'S WHEREVER YOU GO. BECAUSE NO MATTER WHERE YOU RUN, YOU JUST END UP RUNNING INTO YOURSELF. HERE. I'VE BEEN CARRYING THIS THING AROUND FOR MONTHS. I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE. HERE, CAT! CAT! WHERE'S THE CAT? I DON'T KNOW. CAT. CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! CAT! OH, CAT. CAT. [MEOW] [MEOW MEOW] CAT! CAT. HERE. OH, CAT. OH, OH, OH. OHH... " TWO DRIFTERS " " OFF TO SEE THE WORLD " " THERE'S SUCH A LOT OF WORLD " " TO SEE " " WE'RE AFTER " " THE SAME " " RAINBOW'S END " " WAITIN' 'ROUND THE BEND " " MY HUCKLEBERRY FRIEND " " MOON RIVER " " AND ME "" CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1991 PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC. ================= =================