Can't Stop The Music Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Can't Stop The Music script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Village People music.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Can't Stop The Music. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Can't Stop The Music Script


  

  

 

                   

     [ Disco ]



 

                   

     [ Continues ]



 

                   

   I'M TRAVELIN' THROUGH   



 

                   

   THIS GAME CALLED LIFE   



 

                   

   IT'S A TOUGH GAME TO PLAY   



 

                   

[ Man ]

JACK MORELL TO THE COUNTER.

JACK MORELL TO THE COUNTER !



 

                   

    



 

                   

JACK MORELL !



 

                   

COME BE MY GUEST

AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE.



  

                   

THANKS,

BUT I GOTTA GO.

THIS IS CRAZY !



  

                   

WAIT YOUR TURN.

 WAIT YOUR--

MR. SCHULTZ.



  

                   

EXCUSE ME.

CAN I TALK TO YOU

FOR A SECOND ?



  

                   

LOOK, IF I EVER NEEDED

TO GET OFF ON TIME,

TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT.



  

                   

IT'S PRACTICALLY

LIFE OR DEATH.



  

                   

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?



  

                   

AS SOON AS WE GET

THESE... LOONIES

OUT OF HERE,



  

                   

WE ARE TAKING INVENTORY.



  

                   

INVENT--  MR. SCHULTZ,

I CAN'T TONIGHT.



  

                   

ASK ME EVERY SUNDAY

FOR SIX MONTHS.

ASK ME CHRISTMAS.



  

                   

BUT PLEASE, MR. SCHULTZ,

NOT TONIGHT.



  

                   

IF YOU'RE NOT

HERE TONIGHT,

YOU ARE OUT OF A JOB.



  

                   

BUT, SIR, I HAVE GOT

AN OPPORTUNITY--

NO INVENTORY, NO JOB.



  

                   

OKAY, SCHULTZY,

HAVE IT YOUR WAY.



  

                   

BUT THE NEXT TIME

YOU TAKE INVENTORY IN HERE,



  

                   

YOU'LL BE COUNTING

THE ALBUMS OF JACK MORELL...



  

                   

BECAUSE I AM A COMPOSER,

NOT A SCHLEPPER SALESMAN !



  

                   

MY TIME IS NOW !



  

                   

    



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE SOUND

  OF THE CITY   



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE SOUND

  OF MY TOWN   



  

                   

   NEW YORK

  IS THE CITY OF CITIES   



  

                   

   NEW YORK IS STILL

  WEARING THE CROWN   



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE SOUND

  OF THE CITY   



  

                   

 

   LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE I LOVE  



  

                   

   EVERYONE IS SPEAKING

  YOUR LANGUAGE   



  

                   

   NEW YORK SPEAKS

  IN YOUR NATIVE TONGUE   



  

                   

   NEW YORK   

   NEW YORK   



  

                   

   WE'RE SKATING

  DOWN BROADWAY   



  

                   

   AT MIDNIGHT OR MIDDAY   



  

                   

   WE DO OUR OWN THING   



  

                   

   NEW YORK   

   NEW YORK   



  

                   

   A CITY WITH GUSTO   



  

                   

   NEW YORK IS A BIG SHOW   



  

                   

   IT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING   



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE SOUND

  OF THE CITY   



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE CABS

  ON THE STREET   



  

                   

   NEW YORK IS THE FANS

  OF THE YANKEES   



  

                   

   NEW YORK

  IS A COP ON A BEAT   



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE SOUND

  OF THE CITY   



  

                   

   LISTEN

  TO THE STEEPLE BELLS CHIME   



  

                   

   NEW YORK

  IS A CITY OF MAGIC   



  

                   

   NEW YORK

  IS A HIP STATE OF MIND   



  

                   

   NEW YORK   

   NEW YORK   



  

                   

   THE CITY OF NIGHTLIFE   



  

                   

   THE CITY OF BRIGHT LIGHTS   



  

                   

   WE'RE DOING OUR PART   



  

                   

   NEW YORK   

   NEW YORK   



  

                   

   THE CITY OF FASHION   



  

                   

   THE CITY OF PASSION   



  

                   

   THIS TOWN HAS A HEART   



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE SOUND

  OF THE CITY   



  

                   

   NEW YORK

  IS THE PULSE OF THE WORLD   



  

                   

   NEW YORK IS

  THE MECCA THAT'S BROADWAY   



  

                   

   NEW YORK

  IS THE SMILE ON YOUR GIRL   



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE SOUND

  OF THE CITY   



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE SOUND

  OF MY TOWN   



  

                   

   YOU CAN TAKE A RIDE

  ON THE TRAMWAY   



  

                   

   HOLD YOUR BREATH

  WHILE YOU'RE COMING DOWN   



  

                   

   NEW YORK   

   NEW YORK   



  

                   

   PERPETUAL MOTION   



  

                   

   FROM OCEAN TO OCEAN   



  

                   

   THERE'S NONE TO COMPARE   



  

                   

   NEW YORK   

   NEW YORK   



  

                   

   THE PARKS

  AND THE PLAYGROUNDS   



  

                   

   NEW YORK

  IS THE SWEET SOUND   



  

                   

   OF CHILDREN AT PLAY   



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE SOUND

  OF THE CITY   



  

                   

   NEW YORK AFTER DARK

  IS ALIVE   



  

                   

   UPTOWN, IN THE BRONX

  OR IN HARLEM   



  

                   

   NEW YORK

  IS A CITY WITH PRIDE   



  

                   

   LISTEN TO THE SOUND

  OF THE CITY   



  

                   

   NEW YORK IS

  BOTH FUTURE AND PAST   



  

                   

   NEW YORK

  IS THE CITY OF MUSIC   



  

                   

   NEW YORK

  IS A CITY WITH CLASS     



  

                   

WHOA !  AH !

[ Screams ]



  

                   

FATTENING UP

FOR THE MISS PIGGY

LOOK-ALIKE CONTEST, HUH ?



  

                   

GET OUT OF HERE.

FOR THE FIRST TIME

IN MY LIFE,



  

                   

I CAN EAT AS MUCH

AS I WANT TO,

AND I INTEND TO.



  

                   

OH, YEAH ?  OKAY.

YEAH.



  

                   

YOU MAY HAVE GIVEN UP

YOUR GLAMOROUS CAREER,

BUT MINE IS JUST BEGINNING.



  

                   

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?

- WHAT DO I MEAN ?



  

                   

YOU ARE LOOKING

AT TONIGHT'S GUEST DEEJAY

AT SADDLE TRAMPS DISCO.



  

                   

BENNY MURRAY

CALLED ME AT THE STORE.

THEIR REGULAR GUY IS SICK.



  

                   

THE RELIEF IS LOST

SOMEWHERE ON FIRE ISLAND,

SO I'LL BE WORKING TONIGHT.



  

                   

AND IT DOESN'T

MAKE A DIFFERENCE--

COMING THROUGH !



  

                   

- WHAT DOESN'T MAKE

  ANY DIFFERENCE ?

- NOTHING.  NOTHING.



  

                   

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

NOTHING MAJOR.

EITHER QUIT OR WAS FIRED.



  

                   

TAKE YOUR PICK.

SAM, TONIGHT I'M

IN SHOW BUSINESS.

JACK--



  

                   

WHERE I BELONG.

AHHHH !



   

                   

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

I HAVE A HEAVY NIGHT.

TAKE ME HOME.



   

                   

LEAVE ME ALONE.

I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE.



   

                   

[ Both Laughing ]



   

                   

[ Man ]  A FIERY HORSE

WITH SPEED OF LIGHT,

A CLOUD OF DUST...



   

                   

AND A HEARTY

"HI HO, SILVER."



   

                   

THE LONE RANGER.

     [ Begins ]



   

                   

HEY, FELIPE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE ?



   

                   

MY TV BROKE.

I CRAWLED IN THE WINDOW.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, ISN'T IT ?



   

                   

SURE.  WHY NOT ?

THIS IS NEIGHBORLY NEW YORK.



   

                   

HEY, FELIPE.

WE'RE WORKING TOGETHER.



   

                   

BENNY MADE ME GUEST DEEJAY

AT THE CLUB TONIGHT.



   

                   

IT'S ABOUT TIME

SOMEBODY'S HIP

TO YOUR TALENT.



   

                   

YEAH, IT'S

A GOOD THING HE DID.

THIS ONE JUST GOT FIRED.



   

                   

QUIT.



   

                   

FIRED, QUIT.  IT STILL

MEANS THE SAME THING.

NO INCOME.



   

                   

SAM !  THAT'S

VERY MATERIALISTIC.



   

                   

WELL, LIFE

IS MATERIALISTIC.

I CAN'T HELP IT.



   

                   

I DIDN'T INVENT IT.

I'M JUST IN IT.



   

                   

I DIDN'T INVENT IT.

I'M JUST IN IT.



   

                   

I DIDN'T INVENT IT.

   I'M JUST IN IT   



   

                   

   I DIDN'T INVENT IT

  I'M JUST IN IT   



   

                   

HEY, SAM !

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.



   

                   

MAYBE I'LL USE IT.

YOU SCRATCH THAT COUNTER,

I'M CHARGING YOU FOR IT.



   

                   

SAM, WHEN THE MUSIC MONEY

STARTS ROLLING IN,

I'LL BUY YOU TEN COUNTERS.



   

                   

I'LL BUY YOU A KITCHEN.

I'LL BUY YOU

A WHOLE RESTAURANT.



   

                   

OKAY, SO REMEMBER ME

AT ROYALTY TIME.



   

                   

HEY--  JUST WHAT I NEED,

A SUMMER SHOWER.

OH !



   

                   

SO ?  DO A RAIN DANCE.

   HI, YA, YA, YA, YA

  YA, YA, YA     



   

                   

OKAY.



   

                   

IT'S TALK TIME.

NO TALK TIME.



   

                   

OH, YES, YES, YES.

TALK TIME.

I NEED ACTION, NOT WORDS.



   

                   

LOOK, YOU MAY HAVE

STARTED OUT HERE

AS MY HOUSESITTER,



   

                   

BUT YOU'VE BEEN HERE SO LONG,

YOU HAVE ACHIEVED

LITTLE BROTHER STATUS.



   

                   

AND I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

I CARE WHAT HAPPENS

TO YOUR LIFE.



   

                   

MM-HMM.  LOOK,

IF YOU WANNA GET MUSHY,



   

                   

LET'S PRETEND YOU

DON'T THINK OF ME

AS YOUR LITTLE BROTHER.



   

                   

COME ON.

I'M TRYING TO BE SERIOUS.

I KNOW.



   

                   

LOOK, I DON'T WANNA

SOUND LIKE YOUR MOTHER.

YOU DON'T.



   

                   

SHE THINKS

I'M A MUSICAL GENIUS.



   

                   

JACK--

STOP AND LISTEN.



   

                   

TO WHAT ?

TO ME.



   

                   

LOOK, TONIGHT

BENNY MURRAY IS GONNA SEE

THAT I AM MERELY FABULOUS.



   

                   

HE'S GONNA MAKE ME

THE FULL-TIME DEEJAY.



   

                   

SAM, DON'T YOU KNOW

WHAT THAT MEANS TO ME ?

IT'S EVERYTHING.



   

                   

I GET TO PLAY MY MUSIC,

THE PEOPLE ARE GONNA

START COLLAPSING,



   

                   

AND THE BIG RECORD COMPANIES

ARE GONNA COME CRAWLING !



   

                   

LOOK, I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU

EVER SINCE I'VE KNOWN YOU

THAT I'M FANTASTIC,



   

                   

THAT MY MUSIC IS GOOD,

AND TONIGHT I'M GONNA

PROVE IT.



   

                   

LOOK, IF YOU DON'T

LIKE WHAT I DO,



   

                   

IF YOU DON'T

LIKE EVERYTHING,



   

                   

I'LL GO BACK

TO DENTAL SCHOOL

LIKE MY FATHER WANTS.



   

                   

BUT YOU GOTTA

GIVE ME A CHANCE.

THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING FOR.



   

                   

YOU WANT THIS A LOT,

DON'T YOU ?

YEAH.



   

                   

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO.

I WILL COME AND LISTEN

TO YOUR MUSIC,



   

                   

IF YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TRUTH

ABOUT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL.



   

                   

DEAL.



   

                   

READY FOR ANOTHER

MOMENT OF TRUTH ?



   

                   

SURE.  HIT ME.



   

                   

THE HOSE JUST LEAKED

ALL OVER THE RUG.



   

                   

OH, NO !

IT COST ME A MINT !  OH !



   

                   

- FELIPE, SHE'S COMING !

- GREAT !



   

                   

GET THE BIKE.

I GOTTA GET DRESSED.

OKAY.



   

                   

OH, BOY.

ONE HOT NIGHT COMING UP.



   

                   

HEY, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

GOTTA GO CHANGE.

I'LL MEET YOU AT THE CLUB.



   

                   

OKAY.  SAM ?

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.



   

                   

DON'T BE LATE.

DRY, DARLING.  DRY !



   

                   

STAND UP, FIBERS.



   

                   

OH, PLEASE.  COME ON.

NICE LITTLE RUG.



   

                   

     [ Disco ]



   

                   

[ Clattering ]



   

                   

I JUST DON'T BELIEVE

HOW THEY LINE UP

OUTSIDE OF SADDLE TRAMPS.



   

                   

PLEASE.  THEY LINE UP

TO GET INTO MY DRY CLEANERS.



   

                   

I GUESS

IT'S BIG APPLE PSYCHOLOGY.

OH, YEAH ?  OH, I'M SURE.



   

                   

GIVE ME TWO BRANDYS.

SEE YOU LATER, BABE.

HEY, HONEY !



   

                   

HI, FELIPE !

HEY, SAM, HOW YOU DOING ?

 HEY, ALICIA, YOU LOOK GREAT.



   

                   

THANKS.

JACK'S IN THE BOOTH.



   

                   

HOW'S IT GOING ?

I GUESS IT'S GOING OKAY.

HE HASN'T PLAYED HIS STUFF YET.



   

                   

OH, MR. MURRAY.

THAT'S TOO BAD.



   

                   

BENNY MURRAY, I'D LIKE YOU

TO MEET SAMANTHA SIMPSON

AND ALICIA EDWARDS.



   

                   

YEAH.

HI.  HEY, I'LL

SEE YOU LATER.



   

                   

SHE'S A TOP MODEL.

ALL RIGHT.  CIAO.



   

                   

HOW DO YOU DO,

MISS EDWARDS ?

SIMPSON.



   

                   

RIGHT.  I'VE SEEN YOU

PLASTERED ALL OVER NEW YORK.

WELL, DON'T SPREAD IT AROUND.



   

                   

THIS PLACE IS GETTING

TO BE A REGULAR STUDIO   .



   

                   

YOU KNOW HALSTON,

THE BIG DESIGNER ?

MM-HMM.



   

                   

HIS SEAMSTRESS

WAS HERE THE OTHER NIGHT

WITH CALVIN KLEIN'S CHAUFFEUR.



   

                   

LOTS OF BIGGIES,

YOU KNOW ?



   

                   

HOW CHIC.



   

                   

RELAX.  BOOGIE.

HAVE YOURSELF

A GOOD TIME.



   

                   

ANYTHING YOU NEED,

JUST ASK FOR BENNY.

THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.



   

                   

HEY, FELIPE !

SAM !



   

                   

HEY, TAKE MY PURSE

AND PUT IT BEHIND THE BAR.

I WANNA DANCE.



   

                   

YOU WANT SOMEBODY

WHO'S TALL AND BLONDE

OR SHORT AND DARK ?



   

                   

HOW ABOUT BLONDE ?

RIGHT HERE.



   

                   

OH, JEEZ !  BLANE !  HI !



   

                   

   AH, WHAT YOU THINK YOU SEE

 UH-OH   



   

                   

   TELL ME   



   

                   

   WHO'S LIVING IN THE PAST   



   

                   

   I WANNA KNOW   



   

                   

   WHO, WHO'S MOVING

  MUCH TOO FAST   



   

                   

   WHOO   



   

                   

   WHO NEEDS

  TO FIND SOME CLASS   



   

                   

   WHO NEEDS

  SOME SOPHISTICATION   



   

                   

   I'M NOT HARD TO PLEASE

  BUT YOUR ACT'S SO UNREAL   



   

                   

RANDY !

HEY !



   

                   

   TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR

  'CAUSE THE MIRROR

  WON'T CONCEAL   



   

                   

THIS WILL KEEP YOU IN SHAPE.

JACK !



   

                   

HEY, JACK !

HEY, JACK !



   

                   

OH, WOW !  SUPER !



   

                   

HEY !

YEAH !



   

                   

GO ON.  GO ON.



   

                   

AND FOCUS.

GET A FOCUS.



   

                   

FOCUS !



   

                   

CAN'T LET A FAMOUS FACE

GO UNPHOTOGRAPHED,

YOU KNOW.  AH !



   

                   

HI.  THIS SURE IS MORE FUN

THAN DENTAL SCHOOL.



   

                   

YOU ARE LOOKING

AT A KING IN HIS CASTLE.



   

                   

SEE, THESE SWITCHES

CAN LIFT, DROP...



   

                   

AND CHANGE THE DISPOSITION

OF EVERYBODY IN HERE.



   

                   

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

WHEN THE MUSIC WENT MAD,

IT WOULD BE YOU AT THE CONTROLS.



   

                   

SAM.  LOOK AT 'EM.



   

                   

THEY'RE HAPPY

 THEY'RE SO HAPPY.



   

                   

THEY'VE FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING

THAT GETS 'EM DOWN.



   

                   

THAT'S WHAT

IT'S ALL ABOUT, ISN'T IT ?



   

                   

MUSIC IS MAGIC.



   

                   

I WANNA MAKE THAT MAGIC.



   

                   

LIKE THIS, FOR INSTANCE.



   

                   

OH, JACK.  OH !



   

                   

PLEASE DON'T

SLOBBER ON THE STAR.

I MAY GET ELECTROCUTED.



   

                   

LOOK.  THIS IS

YOUR NUMBER.  GO DANCE.



   

                   

YOU'RE GOING TO BE TERRIFIC.

DON'T LET IT GO

TO YOUR HEAD.



   

                   

DON'T WORRY.

I CAN HANDLE SUCCESS

A HELL OF A LOT BETTER...



   

                   

THAN I CAN HANDLE

A ROOT CANAL.



   

                   

     [ Tempo Picks Up ]



   

                   

   BABY   



   

                   

AHH !

   MY WILL IS WEARING THIN   



   

                   

   THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN

  I NEED YOU, BABY   



   

                   

   MY HEART'S ABOUT TO BREAK

  IT'S CRUEL TO MAKE ME WAIT   



   

                   

   COME TO ME, BABY   



   

                   

   WE'RE MOVING TO THE NIGHT

  A SYMPHONY OF FLIGHT   



   

                   

   FLY WITH ME, BABY   

[ No Audio ]



   

                   

   YOU WANNA SEE ME CRY

  BUT CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I   

ALL RIGHT !



   

                   

   I NEED YOU NOW   



   

                   

   I NEED YOU NOW   



   

                   

   SA-SA-SA-SA

  SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   YOUR GOLDEN TRESSES

  FEEL LIKE SILK ON MY FACE   



   

                   

   SA-SA-SA-SA-SA-SA

  SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   WE'RE GONNA BE JUST GREAT   



   

                   

   SA-SA-SA-SA-SA-SA

  SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   I LIKE THAT WIGGLE

  THAT YOU GOT IN YOUR JEANS   



   

                   

   SA-SA-SA-SA-SA-SA

  SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   YOU CAST YOUR SPELL ON ME   



   

                   

   EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY

  KNOWS I TREMBLE

  WHEN I HEAR YOUR NAME   



   

                   

   SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY

  KNOWS THAT YOU WERE

  DRIVING ME INSANE   



   

                   

   SAMANTHA   

   SA-SA-SA-SA-SA-SA

  SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOUR LIPS

  YOU KNOW THEY'RE

  TURNING ME ON   



   

                   

   SA-SA-SA-SA-SA-SA

  SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   STAY WITH ME

  ALL NIGHT LONG   



   

                   

   BABY   



   

                   

   IT'S PASSION BY DESIGN

  WITH CANDLELIGHT AND WINE   



   

                   

   I WANT YOU, BABY   



   

                   

   YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF

  WITH ME AND NO ONE ELSE   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU, BABY   



   

                   

   STOP TEASING ME THIS WAY

  DON'T KISS AND RUN AWAY   

YEAH !



   

                   

   ENJOY IT, BABY   



   

                   

   IT'S VERY CLEAR TO ME

  MY LOVE IS WHAT YOU NEED   



   

                   

   OH, YES, YOU DO   



   

                   

   YOU KNOW YOU DO   



   

                   

   SA-SA-SA-SA-SA-SA

  SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   COME LAY BESIDE ME

  BY THE FIRESIDE   



   

                   

   SA-SA-SA-SA-SA-SA

  SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   MY LOVE WON'T BE DENIED   



   

                   

   SA-SA-SA-SA-SA-SA

  SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   SAY YES

  AND FOLLOW ME TO PARADISE   



   

                   

   SA-SA-SA

  SAMANTHA   



   

                   

   IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT     



   

                   

TAKE OVER THE NEXT SET

FOR ME, HUH ?

SURE.



   

                   

HEY, YOUR STUFF

IS TERRIFIC.



   

                   

THANK YOU, SON.



   

                   

JACK !  JACK !



   

                   

JACK,

YOU WERE WONDERFUL.

DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT ?



   

                   

YES !  ABSOLUTELY.

YOU SHOULD BE RECORDED.



   

                   

NOW, HOW MANY SONGS

DO YOU HAVE ?

I MEAN TO SHOW.



   

                   

OH, A LOT.  THEY'RE

IN VARIOUS STAGES

OF COMPLETION,



   

                   

BUT IT WOULDN'T TAKE LONG.

HOW LONG ?



   

                   

I-I DON'T KNOW.



   

                   

MAKE ME A REALLY

GOOD DEMO TAPE AND WE'LL

TAKE IT TO A RECORD COMPANY.



   

                   

SAM, THERE'S MORE

TO IT THAN THAT.

LIKE WHAT ?



   

                   

LIKE--

 LIKE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.



   

                   

LOOK, NOBODY HAS TIME

FOR ANYBODY, AND NOBODY

GIVES NEW PEOPLE A BREAK.



   

                   

THIS MAY COME

AS A SURPRISE TO YOU,



   

                   

BUT WHILE YOU WERE

FLUNKING OUT OF COLLEGE,



   

                   

I WAS DATING AND ROMANCING

SOME OF THE REAL BIGGIES

OF THE RECORD INDUSTRY.



   

                   

MAMA HAS CONNECTIONS.

ALL RIGHT !



   

                   

     [ Humming ]



   

                   

[ Phone Rings ]



   

                   

SAM, WILL YOU

GET THAT, PLEASE ?



   

                   

HELLO.



   

                   

SAM, UH, I'M SORRY

TO BOTHER YOU,



   

                   

BUT I AM MAKING THIS CALL

UNDER EXTREME DURESS.



   

                   

I LAUGH, I CRY,

 I GO ON WELFARE.



   

                   

I AM AN UNMARRIED,

UNEMPLOYED WOMAN.



   

                   

LULU, WHAT'S THE MATTER ?



   

                   

SYDNE THREATENED

TO GIVE ME THE SACK

UNLESS I MADE THIS CALL.



   

                   

CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT ?

ME WHO HAS GIVEN THAT SACK

THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE ?



   

                   

LULU, SHUT UP

AND GIVE ME THAT PHONE !



   

                   

AAH !  AAH !  STOP ME !



   

                   

- HOW FAT ARE YOU ?

- ENORMOUS.  I'VE BLOWN UP

  LIKE THEHINDENBURG.



   

                   

THIS IS SYDNE CHANNING,

WHO ONLY HELPED MAKE YOU

THE BIGGEST MODEL OF THE '  s.



   

                   

COME CLEAN.

SYDNE, DARLING,

THE '  s ARE DEAD AND GONE.



   

                   

THE '  s ARE GOING TO BE

SOMETHING WONDERFULLY NEW

AND DIFFERENT, AND SO AM I.



   

                   

FREE, HAPPY AND CONTENT.



   

                   

CONTENTED.  BUT THAT'S

PERFECT FOR THE AD CAMPAIGN FOR

THE AMERICAN DAIRY ASSOCIATION.



   

                   

COWS ?



   

                   

MILK, DEAREST.

IT COMES FROM COWS.



   

                   

SYDNE, DON'T GET UPSET.



   

                   

I'VE TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO YOU.

I HAVE RETIRED,

ONCE AND FOR ALL.



   

                   

THIS IS GOING TO BE

THE BIGGEST CAMPAIGN

FOR THE ENTIRE FALL.



   

                   

MUCHO LUCRATIVO.

MONEY, HONEY.



   

                   

SYDNE, IT WAS REALLY SWEET

OF YOU TO ASK ME,



   

                   

BUT HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE

TO TELL YOU NO, NO, NO ?



   

                   

YOU ARE PASSING UP

THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME !



   

                   

- MAY I PLEASE SPEAK TO LULU ?

- THERE'S REALLY NO ACCOUNTING

  FOR TASTE.



   

                   

HERE.  SHE WANTS

TO TALK TO YOU.



   

                   

YEAH ?



   

                   

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

WHY DON'T I CALL YOU,

OKAY ?  BYE.



   

                   

WHAT DID SHE SAY ?

TELL ME EVERYTHING.



   

                   

UH, SHE JUST INVITED ME OVER

TO SEE HER NEW APARTMENT.



   

                   

- BUT I DON'T KNOW

  IF I CAN MAKE IT.

- OH, YES, YOU CAN.



   

                   

SHE'S DONE

A VERY CLEVER THING.

SHE'S RETIRED.



   

                   

SHE'S THE GARBO OF MODELS,

AND EVERYONE IS CLAMORING

FOR HER,



   

                   

AND I'M GOING TO DELIVER HER

IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO.



   

                   

TO THE DAIRY ASSOCIATION ?



   

                   

WE ARE GOING

TO MAKE MILK MORE

GLAMOROUS THAN CHAMPAGNE.



   

                   

MAKE A NOTE.  ONE:

I'M GOING TO SUGGEST

THEY REDESIGN THE BOTTLE.



   

                   

TWO:  I'M GOING

TO INSIST THEY CORK IT.



   

                   

THREE:

MISS SAMANTHA SIMPSON

IS GOING BACK TO WORK.



   

                   

   LOVE WITH FREEDOM

  YOU HAVE NO CHOICE   



   

                   

SAM, YOU GOTTA HEAR THIS !



   

                   

     [ Continues ]



   

                   

]

     [ Humming Along



   

                   

     [ Stops ]

WHAT DO YOU THINK ?



   

                   

SWEET.

SWEET ?



   

                   

YEAH.

SWEET ?



   

                   

JOHANN STRAUSS WRITES SWEET.

SWEET IS FOR WALTZES.



   

                   

I CAN'T HEAR THE MUSIC

FOR YOUR VOICE.



   

                   

WHAT ABOUT THE LYRICS ?



   

                   

JACK, DARLING,

THE SONG MAY BE WONDERFUL,



   

                   

BUT YOUR VOICE SOUNDS

LIKE A CRY FOR HELP.



   

                   

OH.  OH, HO, HO, HO.



   

                   

WELL, I'M SORRY I DON'T HAVE

A MILLION PEOPLE SITTING OUT

THERE SINGING IN THE COURTYARD.



   

                   

MY MUSICAL EMPIRE

IS NOT FINISHED YET.



   

                   

WELL, SHOULDN'T A DEMO

SOUND LIKE A REAL RECORD ?



   

                   

YES, BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW

MUCH THAT'S GOING TO COST ?



   

                   

WHY IS IT THAT YOU'RE

THE MOST EXPENSIVE PERSON

I'VE EVER BEEN INVOLVED WITH ?



   

                   

AND WE'RE NOT EVEN LOVERS.

DO YOU KNOW ANY SINGERS ?



   

                   

YEAH.  WHAT ABOUT

THE SUPREMES ?

THEY'RE NOT WORKING.



   

                   

SAM, TODAY NOBODY SINGS.

EVERYBODY DANCES.



   

                   

THIS CALLS

FOR SOME VERY SERIOUS

PLOTTING AND SCHEMING.



   

                   

YOU GO BACK TO WORK.

I NEED SOME ENERGY.



   

                   

I'M GOING

FOR A BASKIN-ROBBINS RUSH.



   

                   

AH, HAVE A GOOD TIME.

GET A DOUBLE-DIP ON ME.



   

                   

[ Felipe ]

THANKS A LOT.



   

                   

HEY, FELIPE.

HOW ARE YOU DOING ?



   

                   

C, C-MINUS.

WHAT'S THE MATTER ?



   

                   

I HAD TO LEAVE

MY FEATHERS TO BE OILED,



   

                   

AND THEY GAVE ME

THIS ONE TO WEAR,

AND IT DOESN'T EVEN FIT RIGHT.



   

                   

YOU THINK

YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS ?



   

                   

JACK NEEDS SOME VOICES

ON A TAPE TONIGHT,



   

                   

AND I NEED SOME PROFESSIONAL

SINGERS WHO WILL WORK

FOR WHAT I CAN AFFORD TO PAY.



   

                   

PROFESSIONAL

AND FOR FREE ?

THAT YOU AIN'T GONNA FIND.



   

                   

AH, MY GREATEST FEAR.

[ Laughs ]



   

                   

WELL, LISTEN.

TELL ME SOMETHING.

DO YOU SING ?



   

                   

DO I SING ?  DO I SING ?



   

                   

   WHEN I'M CALLING YOU     



   

                   

[ Both Laughing ]



   

                   

ZAP !  YOU'RE A STAR,

AT LEAST FOR TONIGHT.



   

                   

MY HOUSE,  :  .

GOTCHA !



   

                   

GOD !  I SHOULD'VE

KNOWN YOU COULD SING,



   

                   

BUT I GUESS WHEN YOU SEE

SOMEBODY EVERY DAY, YOU JUST

SORT OF TAKE 'EM FOR GRANTED.



   

                   

I MEAN, COUNTING OUT EXERCISES

IS SORT OF LIKE SINGING,

ISN'T IT ?



   

                   

YEAH, I THINK

IT IS, YOU KNOW.

IT'S SORT OF LIKE--



   

                   

   GOT THE BACKBONE

  CONNECTED TO THE HIPBONE   



   

                   

   AND THE HIPBONE CONNECTED

  TO THE THIGH BONE   



   

                   

   AND THE THIGH BONE

  CONNECTED TO THE LEG BONE   



   

                   

HEY, HOW'S THAT ?

IS THAT A STAR

OR IS THAT A STAR ?



   

                   

PING !  TONIGHT, IT IS.

BE AT MY HOUSE AT  :  .



   

                   

I'LL FURNISH THE FOOD.

YOU FURNISH THE VOICE...

AND THE WINE.



   

                   

YOU ALWAYS WERE

A GREAT HOSTESS, SAM.



   

                   

DON'T BE FRESH.

DO YOU HAVE A HANDKERCHIEF ?

YEAH.  HERE YOU GO.



   

                   

THANKS.



   

                   

THANKS.

SURE.



   

                   

NOW, WE'RE RECORDING

A SONG MY ROOMMATE WROTE.



   

                   

IT'S TONIGHT IN OUR BACKYARD,

A SORT OF PARTY, DEMO-SESSION.



   

                   

WAIT.  DON'T THANK ME.



   

                   

THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.

I'M JUST GLAD I CAN

INCLUDE YOU.



   

                   

WELL, YOU CAN

INCLUDE ME OUT.



   

                   

THAT IS THE WORST IDEA

I EVER HEARD.



   

                   

WHAT, A BUNCH OF YO-YO'S

PUTTIN' ON A HOMEMADE GROUP

IN YOUR BACKYARD ?



   

                   

THAT WENT OUT WITH JUDY GARLAND

AND MICKEY ROONEY

ONTHE LATE SHOW.



   

                   

JUDY GARLAND

AND MICKEY ROONEY.



   

                   

NEVER MISS

THOSE MGM MUSICALS

ONTHE LATE SHOW,



   

                   

MAINLY

BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE

THEY RUN MY COMMERCIALS.



   

                   

IS THAT YOUR

REAL SINGING VOICE

ON THOSE COMMERCIALS ?



   

                   

YEAH, BUT I'M SURPRISED YOU

CAN HEAR IT AT ALL.  THERE'S

SO MUCH PRODUCT-PITCHING.



   

                   

[ Man ]

ARE YOU READY, DAVID ?

YEAH, I'M READY.



   

                   

ARE YOU SERIOUS

ABOUT SINGING ?



   

                   

FANATICAL.



   

                   

FAME, FORTUNE,

PLATINUM RECORDS.



   

                   

IT'S EVERY BOY'S DREAM.



   

                   

    



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

  OH, BABY   



   

                   

   TILL THERE'S

  NOTHING LEFT   



   

                   

 

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH  



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

  OH, BABY   



   

                   

   TILL YOU'RE OUT OF BREATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I NEED YOU   



   

                   

   WHEN YOUR LIPS

  GET CLOSE TO MINE   



   

                   

 

   I KNOW THE HEAT

  WILL DRIVE YOU CRAZY  



   

                   

   I'M GONNA MAKE

  THAT BODY MINE   



   

                   

   THE WAY YOU MOVE

  IS SO AMAZING   



   

                   

   AY-YI-YI

  I'M LOVING YOU   



   

                   

   AY-YI-YI

  I'M WANTING YOU   



   

                   

   AY-YI-YI

  I'LL MOVE ALL OVER YOU   



   

                   

AHH !



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

  OH, BABY   



   

                   

   I WILL NEVER STOP   



   

                   

   TILL YOU REACH THE TOP   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU   



   

                   

 

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH  



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

  OH, BABY   



   

                   

   LOVE YOU TILL THE END

  THEN WE'LL LOVE AGAIN   



   

                   

   I NEED YOU   



   

                   

   I FEEL THE FEVER

  GETTING HOT   



   

                   

   I LIKE THE MOTION

  OF YOUR BODY   



   

                   

   'CAUSE WHAT YOU NEED

  IS WHAT I'VE GOT   



   

                   

   COME ON WITH ME

  WE'LL HAVE A PARTY   



   

                   

   AY-YI-YI

  KNOW WHAT TO DO   



   

                   

 

   AY-YI-YI

  GOT LOVE FOR YOU  



   

                   

 

   AY-YI-YI

  I'LL GIVE MY BEST TO YOU  



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

  OH, BABY   



   

                   

   TILL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

  I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

  OH, BABY   



   

                   

   TILL YOU'RE

  OUT OF BREATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I NEED YOU   



   

                   

   BABY   



   

                   

   I'M GONNA

  LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

  OH, BABY   



   

                   

   I WILL NEVER STOP

  TILL YOU REACH THE TOP   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

  OH, BABY   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TILL THE END

  THEN WE'LL LOVE AGAIN   



   

                   

   I NEED YOU   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU TO DEATH

  OH, BABY   



   

                   

   TILL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT

  I LOVE YOU TO DEATH   



   

                   

   I LOVE YOU     



   

                   

[ Man ]

ALL RIGHT.  KILL THE LIGHTS.



   

                   

HEY.  HEY,

HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO

ANYTHING I'VE BEEN SAYING ?



   

                   

YEAH.

WELL, IF YOU'RE

INTERESTED,



   

                   

BE AT MY HOUSE

TONIGHT AT  :  .



   

                   

I'LL TRY TO MAKE IT.

HODO,

ARE YOU READY ?



   

                   

YEAH, READY.

ALL RIGHT, ROLL IT.



   

                   

NICE BOX.

[ Laughs ]



   

                   

[ Whistles ]



   

                   

LOOK OUT !



   

                   

OW !



   

                   

OH, NO !  SHE GOT HIT.

SOMEBODY GET AN AMBULANCE.



   

                   

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, MA'AM ?



   

                   

HUH ?  YOU ALL RIGHT ?

MA'AM, YOU ALL RIGHT ?

[ Groaning ]



   

                   

HANDS UP, SHITHEAD.



   

                   

OH, MY GOD.

OH, WHAT A SCORE.



   

                   

OH, BEAUTIFUL.



   

                   

OH, LOVELY.



   

                   

WHAT'S IN THE BOX ?

IT'S A CAKE.



   

                   

ENJOY IT.

[ Whistles ]



   

                   

I'VE GOT YOU COVERED.

DON'T MOVE UNTIL WE

TURN AROUND THE CORNER.



   

                   

HIT IT, BUTCH.



   

                   

[ Cackling ]



   

                   

HEY, GIRLS,

YOU WANT AN APPLE ?

NO, THANKS.



   

                   

OPERATOR.  OPERATOR,

MY-MY FINGER IS CAUGHT--



   

                   

MY FINGER--  OPERATOR,

MY FINGER IS STUCK

IN THE DIAL.



   

                   

[ Sighs ]

OPERATOR !



   

                   

HELP !



   

                   

HELP !



   

                   

HEY !  HELP !  HELP !



   

                   

HEY, FELIPE.

WOULD YOU PLEASE

LOOK IN YOUR APARTMENT...



   

                   

FOR THE CHRISTMAS

DECORATIONS

I STORED THERE ?



   

                   

I NEED

THE COLOR WHEEL.

OKAY.



   

                   

SAM, WE'RE JUST TRYING TO GET

SOME VOICES DOWN ON TAPE,

NOT OPENING UP A BIG SHOW.



   

                   

WELL, AS LONG AS WENT

TO ALL THIS TROUBLE, WE MAY AS

WELL TRY TO MAKE A LITTLE MAGIC.



   

                   

MAYBE SOME OF IT'LL

COME ACROSS IN THE TAPE.



   

                   

[ Jack ]

HEY, YOU NEED ANY HELP ?



   

                   

OHH !  THE INDIAN IS HOT.



   

                   

I GO FOR EXOTIC TYPES,

PARTICULARLY WHEN

THEY'RE HALF NAKED.

LULU !



   

                   

YOU TELL HIM...



   

                   

I'LL MAKE UP

FOR ALL THE INDIGNITIES

THEY SUFFERED INROOTS.



   

                   

OH !MERDE !



   

                   

I JUST DROPPED

MY CONTACT LENS

IN THE LASAGNA.



   

                   

IS IT MUSTARD OR RELISH ?

IT WAS MUSTARD.



   

                   

LULU, BE A DARLING

AND STICK YOUR FINGER IN THERE

AND SEE IF YOU CAN FIND IT.



   

                   

BE ORIGINAL.  LEAVE IT IN.

CALL IT LASAGNE CRUNCH.



   

                   

WELL, I GUESS

I'LL GO CRACK THE WHIP

ON THE BOYS, HUH ?



   

                   

MMM.  INTO S&M, EH ?

[ Chuckles ]



   

                   

HEY, I'M PREPARING

THIS MAJOR MEAL...



   

                   

AND YOU GUYS HAVEN'T

EVEN STARTED REHEARSING YET ?



   

                   

- WE WERE PROMISED DINNER.

- UH-UH.  NO FOOD UNTIL

  I HEAR SOME MUSIC.



   

                   

LISTEN.  WHY DON'T

YOU HAND OUT THE MUSIC

WHILE THEY'RE IN THE MOOD ?



   

                   

WELL, WE RAN OUT OF STATIONERY

AND I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME

TO MAKE COPIES.



   

                   

SO USE 

PAPER NAPKINS.

OKAY.



   

                   

FELIPE, COME UP AND

GET SOME PENCILS.

OKAY, JUST A SECOND.



   

                   

UM, WHY DON'T YOU

PLAY THEM THE SONG ?

RIGHT.  ALL RIGHT.



   

                   

OKAY, GUYS,

LET'S START LEARNING

THIS SONG, ALL RIGHT ?



   

                   

I'M GONNA RECORD

THE REHEARSAL AND WE'LL

OVERDUB WHEN WE SING IT AGAIN.



   

                   

DAVE, FELIPES.

HEY, RANDY, LET'S GO.

ALL RIGHT.



   

                   

YOU FINISHED ?

ARE YOU THROUGH

ALL READY ?



   

                   

IT'S GONNA BE

IN FOUR-FOUR, OKAY ?

CAN YOU SING HIGH-LOW ?



   

                   

 

SO IT'S A--

   MAGIC NIGHT  



   

                   

   BA BA BA BA B

A    BA BA BA   



   

                   

THAT FAST ?  WAIT.

SLOW IT DOWN

A LITTLE BIT.



   

                   

I WANT DEEP.

I WANT--

   BA BA BA   



   

                   

SAM, THIS PLACE

IS STARTING TO LOOK

LIKE A TERRARIUM.



   

                   

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, LULU ?

I HAVE REACHED A POINT

IN MY LIFE...



   

                   

WHERE I FIND PEOPLE

AND ANIMALS TOO DEMANDING.



   

                   

ABOUT THE ONLY RELATIONSHIP

I COULD SUSTAIN

IS WITH A PLANT.



   

                   

MM.  HOW BIZARRE.



   

                   

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE ?

I'VE ALSO DISCOVERED THE JOYS

OF COOKING AND CLEANING.



   

                   

HOUSEWORK IS LIKE BAD SEX.

EVERY TIME I DO IT,



   

                   

I SWEAR I WILL

NEVER DO IT AGAIN, UNTIL

THE NEXT TIME COMPANY COMES.



   

                   

TACKY.



   

                   

OH, AND HOW IS

THE PLATINUM PRINCE CHARMING

OF THE RECORD WORLD ?



   

                   

WOULD YOU BELIEVE

I HAD TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT

WITH HIM TO BREAK UP ?



   

                   

NO.

AND HE DIDN'T EVEN BAT

AN EYE.  MM-MMM.



   

                   

KEPT TALKING ON TWO PHONES,

LOOKING AT THEBILLBOARDCHARTS

AND TRYING TO SIGN ROD STEWART.



   

                   

AND THEPOSTSAID

HE HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

WHEN YOU LEFT HIM.



   

                   

HMM.  YEAH.



   

                   

JUST AN EXCUSE TO WRITE OFF

A VACATION IN THE BAHAMAS.



   

                   

SAM, UH, MAY I ASK

WHAT YOU ARE DOING ?



   

                   

DO YOU THINK I AM GOING

TO SERVE AND EXPENSIVE

CONTACT LENS TO THAT CROWD ?



   

                   

NO.

NO.



   

                   

LET'S GO CHECK

ON THE VIENNA BOYS CHOIR.



   

                   

OH, SAM, I'LL TAKE

CARE OF THIS.



   

                   

     [ Humming ]



   

                   

OH, GINNY, COULD YOU HELP ME

WITH THIS, PLEASE ?

THANK YOU.



   

                   

OKAY, YOU GUYS,

KEEP SINGING.



   

                   

RANDY, TRY SINGING LEAD.

DAVID, TAKE YOUR VOICE LOWER.



   

                   

- I GUESS I GOTTA

  GET A NEW TAPE.

- [ No Audio ]



   

                   

LULU, COULD YOU BRING US

SOMETHING TO DRINK ?

COME HERE.



   

                   

I AM REALLY NERVOUS.

I MEAN, WHAT IF THIS

DOESN'T WORK OUT ?



   

                   

OH, JACKIE,

AUNTIE LULU HAS

A GREAT RELAXER,



   

                   

DIRECT

FROM MOTHER NATURE.



   

                   

[ Chuckles ]

LULU !  I DON'T THINK SO.



   

                   

COME ON.

YOU HAVE SOME OF THIS

AND I'LL HAVE SOME OF YOURS.



   

                   

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MINE ?

PLEASE !



   

                   

WITH ALL THE PLANTS

SAM'S GOT AROUND HERE,



   

                   

I'LL TAKE SOME

OF THE HOMEGROWN KIND.



   

                   

YOU GROW IT AT HOME ?

DOES THE POSTMAN

RING TWICE ?



   

                   

LULU, YOU'RE CRAZY.



   

                   

OH, COME ON, JACKIE.

COME ON.



   

                   

LULU !

TRUST ME.



   

                   

[ Knocking ]



   

                   

JUST A MINUTE !



   

                   

[ Knocking Continues ]

JUST A MINUTE !



   

                   

I'M RON WHITE.

YOUR SISTER SENT YOU A CAKE.



   

                   

A LITTLE OLD LADY

JUST ROBBED ME !



   

                   

WOULD YOU MIND RUNNING

THROUGH THAT AGAIN ?



   

                   

A LITTLE OLD LADY

WITH A BIG GUN HELD ME UP.



   

                   

NO KIDDING.

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY SISTER ?



   

                   

I LIVED NEXT DOOR

TO HER IN ST. LOUIS.



   

                   

SHE MUST HAVE BEEN

   YEARS OLD.



   

                   

OH, THAT'S NOT MY SISTER.

I MEAN, SHE'S OLDER

THAN I AM, BUT--



   

                   

SHE GOT MY WALLET,

MY WATCH, MY CLASS RING.

SHE GOT MY PHI BETA KAPPA KEY.



   

                   

WELL, I'M SURE GLAD

SHE DIDN'T GET THE CAKE.

I FORGOT TO ORDER DESSERT.



   

                   

- CAN I USE THE PHONE ?

- HOW LONG HAVE YOU

  BEEN IN NEW YORK ?



   

                   

I JUST MOVED HERE.

I'M A TAX LAWYER.



   

                   

YOU MUST STAY FOR DINNER.

I AM SO MAD AT THAT I.R.S.,



   

                   

I'M GOING

TO FILE LATE NEXT YEAR.

I GOTTA CALL THE POLICE.



   

                   

IT'S A RAID.

JUST KIDDING.



   

                   

THIS IS

OFFICER RAY SIMPSON.



   

                   

OFFICER SIMPSON ?

AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.



   

                   

I WAS LEAVING AN AUDITION

THIS AFTERNOON WHEN I HEARD

THIS GREAT VOICE.



   

                   

IT WAS HIM, GIVING

A SINGING PARKING TICKET.



   

                   

HE USED TO SING WITH

A GROUP OF POLICEMEN

CALLED THE COP OUTS.



   

                   

CLEVER, HUH ?

I HOPE I'M NOT

BARGING IN.



   

                   

NO.  YOU'RE JUST IN TIME.

RON HERE JUST GOT ROLLED

BY AN OLD LADY.



   

                   

ROBBED, NOT ROLLED.



   

                   

WHY DON'T YOU ALL HELP

YOURSELF TO SOME VINO ?



   

                   

I WANNA SHOW YOU

SOMETHING DIVINE.

OOH, I CAN HARDLY WAIT.



   

                   

[ Samantha ]

RETAIL, BUT ON SALE.

ARE YOU REALLY A POLICEMAN ?



   

                   

YOU DON'T KNOW BLACK IRISH

WHEN YOU SEE IT ?



   

                   

WELL, I DID GET ROBBED,

BY AN OLD LADY.



   

                   

ON A MOPED ?

THAT'S HER.



   

                   

WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU LOST.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.



   

                   

YOU HERE TO SING ?

WHAT ?



   

                   

I AM.

YOU GOT A PENCIL ?



   

                   

RIGHT HERE.

FOLLOW ME.



   

                   

THE LIST ?



   

                   

[ Giggling ]



   

                   

HEY.

SHH.



   

                   

LOOK INTO MY EYES.

ARE THEY RED ?



   

                   

DO YOU THINK

ANYBODY CAN TELL ?

OH, RELAX, HONEY.



   

                   

NEXT TIME I'LL GET YOU

SOME MAGIC MUSHROOMS.



   

                   

[ Laughs ]



   

                   

HEY, JACK !  JACK !

HI.



   

                   

HI.  COME ON

AND MEET RAY.  HEY, RAY !



   

                   

HI.



   

                   

OH.  OH, GOD.



   

                   

COME ON.  HE'S GOT

A WONDERFUL VOICE.



   

                   

HOW YOU DOING ?

HI.



   

                   

IT'S A TAPE.

YEAH.



   

                   

HELP !



   

                   

HELP ME.



   

                   

AH !  OH !



   

                   

HEY !  HEY !  HEY, YOU !



   

                   

THE DOOR'S JAMMED.

 THE DOOR.

WHAT ?



   

                   

GET SOME HELP.

THE DOOR'S JAMMED.



   

                   

MADAM.



   

                   

OH !  OH, GOD.



   

                   

WHAT IS THIS,

SOME KIND OF HALFWAY HOUSE ?

THAT'S AS GOOD A NAME AS ANY.



   

                   

COME ON.  WE'RE GETTING

INTO THE MUSIC BUSINESS.

GET THE WINE.



   

                   

     [ Humming ]



   

                   

HEY, YOU GUYS, THIS IS RON.

POOR BABY JUST GOT ROLLED.



   

                   

     [ Humming ]



   

                   

HI.



   

                   

RON !  OH, THIS

IS LULU BRECHT,

BEST DRESSER IN THE BUSINESS.



   

                   

AH.

MY UNDRESSING

AIN'T BAD EITHER.



   

                   

COME ON.

PAY NO ATTENTION.



   

                   

WINE.



   

                   

IS THERE ANY REASON

WHY HE'S DRESSED

LIKE AN INDIAN ?



   

                   

MAYBE IT'S

HIS, UH, FANTASY.

[ Chuckles ]



   

                   

UH, BEING A COWBOY

IS MY FANTASY,



   

                   

BUT I DON'T GO AROUND

DRESSED LIKE ONE.

TOO BAD.



   

                   

WE COULD USE

ANOTHER HAND ON

THIS SPREAD.  OHH !



   

                   

[ Woman ]

JACKIE !



   

                   

BUBELEH !

MOTHER !  I DIDN'T KNOW

YOU WERE COMING TO TOWN.



   

                   

SURE.  I TOOK

A BUS FROM JERSEY

TO SEE A MATINEE.



   

                   

ROTTEN.  NOT LIKE THE DAYS

WHEN I WAS A CHORINE.



   

                   

OHH !  JACKIE,

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE DAY...



   

                   

WHEN SOMETHING YOU'VE WRITTEN

IS PRODUCED ON BROADWAY.



   

                   

MOTHER, WOULD YOU

DO ME A FAVOR ?

SURE.



   

                   

DON'T TELL EVERYONE HERE

THAT I'M A GENIUS.

I'M YOUR MOTHER.



   

                   

I KNOW, BUT THESE

ARE MY FRIENDS...



   

                   

AND GENIUSES HAVE

A REAL HARD TIME

KEEPING FRIENDS, OKAY ?



   

                   

HERE.  I BROUGHT YOU

SOMETHING FROM ZABAR'S.

OH !



   

                   

I BROUGHT YOU

SOMETHING FROM BLOOMIE'S.

DID YOU GET STUFFED CABBAGE ?



   

                   

WHAT ELSE ?

HELEN !



   

                   

AH !  HELLO.

NOW, SAMANTHA,



   

                   

YOU KNOW FROM

WOMEN'S WEAR DAILY

 AND LIKE THAT.



   

                   

TELL ME.  HOW DO YOU

LIKE MY NEW OUTFIT, HUH ?



   

                   

GUCCI, PUCCI,

FIORUCCI.



   

                   

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S COLORFUL.



   

                   

- EATS, EVERYONE !

- [ All Cheering ]



   

                   

HEY, GREAT !



   

                   

HAVE SOME FOOD.

THAT SALAD LOOKS GOOD.



   

                   

FELIPES,

LOOK WHO'S HERE.

AH !



   

                   

YOU LOOK GREAT.

WONDERFUL.



   

                   

WANT SOME WINE ?

DAVID,

THIS IS MY MOM.



   

                   

HERE.  WANT SOME WINE ?



   

                   

HI.

[ Felipe ]

I LOVE JACK'S SONG.



   

                   

OH, MY.



   

                   

[ Meow ]

I SHOULD NEVER

COME DOWNTOWN.



   

                   

[ Meow ]

NICE KITTY.



   

                   

YOU RUN ALONG.



   

                   

- MOVE IT, CAT.

  YOU ROTTEN PUSSY.

- [ Screeching ]



   

                   

- HELP !

  I'M BEING ATTACKED !

- SYDNE !



   

                   

AS GOD IS MY WITNESS,

I HAD NOTHING TO DO

WITH THIS.



   

                   

THIS IS SYDNE CHANNING,



   

                   

A SEMI-LEGEND

IN HER OWN TIME.



   

                   

SYDNE, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

FOR ONCE,

WE ARE IN AGREEMENT.



   

                   

[ Grunts ]

HELLO, BOYS.



   

                   

SYDNE, YOU HAVE

ARRIVED HERE LIKE THE

WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST.



   

                   

AND YOU'VE TURNED

INTO SNOW WHITE.



   

                   

AND HERE ARE

THE SEVEN DWARFS.

SLEEPY, SNEEZY, GRUMPY AND...



   

                   

GORGEOUS.



   

                   

HOW DO YOU DO ?

I'M SYDNE CHANNING.



   

                   

DO YOU HAVE

REPRESENTATION ?



   

                   

I'MTHEMOST IMPORTANT

COMMERCIAL AND PRINT

AGENT IN NEW YORK.



   

                   

WHAT ?

FRUIT OF THE LOOM

IS DOING A BIG AD CAMPAIGN.



   

                   

SOMETHING TELLS ME

THAT YOU COULD REALLY FIT

INTO A PAIR OF JOCKEY SHORTS.



   

                   

WHAT A DELIGHTFUL

ICEBREAKER.



   

                   

SYDNE,

HAVE SOME LASAGNA.



   

                   

IT'S AN EVIL DAY

WHEN AMERICA'S TOP MODEL...



   

                   

THROWS IT ALL AWAY

TO BECOME A DEN MOTHER.



   

                   

MM-MM.



   

                   

[ Crunching ]

_

   

                   

IT'S SO CRUNCHY.



   

                   

I AM IN SHOCK.

I HAD NO IDEA

THIS WAS HAPPENING.



   

                   

SOMETHING KEPT SAYING,

"GO.  BE WITH JACKIE TONIGHT."



   

                   

AND, MY GOD, IT'S

A SHOW BUSINESS FIRST.



   

                   

MY VERY OWN SON...



   

                   

RECORDING A REAL,

LIVE BACKYARD ALBUM.



   

                   

WHY, IT'S JUST

LIKE JUDY GARLAND

AT CARNEGIE HALL,



   

                   

SOPHIE TUCKER

AT THE PALACE...



   

                   

OR MINNIE PEARL

SELLING FRIEND CHICKEN.

DID YOU KNOW--



   

                   

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT

BROUGHT ME HERE TONIGHT ?



   

                   

KISMET.

THAT MEANS FATE.



   

                   

MA--

OH, HONEYBUNS,

DON'T YOU REALIZE...



   

                   

IT'S YOUR MUSIC THAT'S

BRINGING ALL OF THESE

TALENTED BOYS TOGETHER.



   

                   

THEY OUGHT TO GET

DOWN ON THEIR KNEES--

MOM.



   

                   

THEY'RE DOING THIS

AS A FAVOR.

A FAVOR ?



   

                   

WHY, IT'S THE GREATEST

FAVOR THEY'VE EVER DONE

FOR THEMSELVES.



   

                   

GUYS, LET'S GET

THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.



   

                   

DAVE ?  RANDY ?

YOU GOT IT.



   

                   

BRACE YOURSELVES

FOR A DEBUT.



   

                   

[ Samantha ]

GO GET 'EM !

DID I SAY SOMETHING ?



   

                   

    

GIVE US THE LYRICS.



   

                   

I MIGHT NOT HAVE

TO USE THIS.



   

                   

   WHEN I'M

  WITH MY FRIENDS   



   

                   

   THERE'S MAGIC

  IN THE AIR   



   

                   

   GOOD VIBRATIONS

  ALWAYS SURROUND US   



   

                   

  

   PLAY SOME GOOD MUSIC



   

                   

  

   THE MOMENT HAS FLAIR



   

                   

   HAPPINESS AND JOY'S

  EVERYWHERE   



   

                   

   SO HAVE A GOOD TIME

  EVERYONE HAVE SOME FUN   



   

                   

   LEAVE ALL OF YOUR

  PROBLEMS BEHIND YOU   



   

                   

 

   COME AND SING ALONG  



   

                   

   JOIN IN ON MY SONG   



   

                   

   SING ABOUT

  THIS MAGICAL NIGHT   



   

                   

   MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

   MAGIC'S IN THE MUSIC

  IT'S A MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

   WE ALL NEED TO USE IT   

   WE CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME   



   

                   

   AND ENJOY   



   

                   

   ALL THE MAGICAL VIBES

  ON THIS GREAT MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

   GOOD FRIENDS ALL AROUND YOU

  IT'S A MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

 

   MAGIC SURE WILL FIND YOU

  SO LET'S ALL TRY TONIGHT  



   

                   

   TO FEEL LOVE   



   

                   

   COMING FROM INSIDE

  EACH OTHER   



   

                   

   WHEN I'M WITH MY FRIENDS

  FRIENDS WITH WHOM

  I CAN SHARE   



   

                   

   ALL MY UPS AND DOWNS

  AND BETWEENS WITH   



   

                   

   WHEN I'M WITH LOVED ONES

  THE MOMENTS ARE DEAR   



   

                   

   SO MUCH MAGIC

  IS IN THE AIR   



   

                   

 

   MAGIC'S WHEN I COME

  TOGETHER WITH MY FRIENDS  



   

                   

   PEOPLE FROM THE WORLD

  ALL AROUND US   



   

                   

   SHARING THE GOOD THINGS

  WE ALL LOVE TO SHARE   



   

                   

   SO MUCH LOVE

  IS FOUND IN THE AIR   



   

                   

   MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

   MAGIC'S IN THE MUSIC

  IT'S A MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

   WE ALL NEED TO USE IT

   WE CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME   



   

                   

   AND ENJOY   



   

                   

   ALL THE MAGICAL VIBES

  ON THIS GREAT MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

   GOOD FRIEND ALL AROUND YO

U   IT'S A MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

   MAGIC SURE WILL FIND YOU

  SO LET'S ALL TRY TONIGHT   



   

                   

   TO FEEL LOVE   



   

                   

   COMING FROM INSIDE

  EACH OTHER   



   

                   

HEY, LET'S GO DOWN.

LET'S GO.



   

                   

     [ Vocalizing ]

AAH !



   

                   

   SO MUCH MAGIC   



   

                   

   SO MUCH MAGIC   



   

                   

   SO MUCH MAGIC   



   

                   

 

   MAGIC NIGHT

  MAGIC'S IN THE MUSIC  



   

                   

   IT'S A MAGIC NIGHT

  WE ALL NEED TO USE IT   



   

                   

-    WE CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME   

- SAMANTHA.



   

                   

   AND ENJOY

  ALL THE MAGICAL VIBES   

SAMANTHA.



   

                   

HEY !

   ON THIS GREAT MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

NOT BAD

FOR A WEDNESDAY NIGHT.

I'VE GOTTA BE GOING.



   

                   

I'LL LET MYSELF OUT.

WAIT A MINUTE.



   

                   

THE LASAGNA WAS GOOD.



   

                   

AH !

WAIT A MINUTE.



   

                   

WE'RE JUST

GETTING STARTED.



   

                   

   MAGIC NIGHT 

  MAGIC'S IN THE MUSIC   



   

                   

THIS IS THE BEST PARTY

WE'VE HAD IN WEEKS.

WHY ARE YOU LEAVING SO EARLY ?



   

                   

LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY.

YOUR FRIENDS ARE

A LITTLE FAR OUT FOR ME.



   

                   

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND...



   

                   

WHY A GOOD-LOOKING GIRL

LIKE YOU IS DOWN HERE

IN THE VILLAGE...



   

                   

WITH A BUNCH OF--

I DON'T KNOW WHAT !



   

                   

DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING ?

I DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE.

I ACCEPT THEM.



   

                   

THERE ISN'T A PERSON

WHO BREATHES WHO DOESN'T

HAVE CERTAIN PECULIARITIES.



   

                   

AS LONG AS IT

DOESN'T HURT ANYBODY,

IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH ME.



   

                   

YEAH, BUT WHERE

DO YOU DRAW THE LINE ?



   

                   

WITH UPTIGHT SQUARES

LIKE YOU.



   

                   

REALLY.



   

                   

   ON THIS GREAT MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

   GOOD FRIEND ALL AROUND YOU

  IT'S A MAGIC NIGHT   

SAM, AM I CRAZY,



   

                   

OR DOES IT

SOUND WONDERFUL ?

YES.  BOTH OF THE ABOVE.



   

                   

WELL, WHAT DO WE DO NOW ?

SELL THE RECORDING

AND PUBLISHING RIGHTS.



   

                   

YOU CAN DO THAT ?

LIKE A SNAP.



   

                   

OH, SAM !

   MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

   MAGIC'S IS THE MUSIC

  IT'S A MAGIC NIGHT   



   

                   

   WE ALL NEED TO USE IT

   WE CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME   



   

                   

   AND ENJOY   



   

                   

   ALL THE MAGICAL VIBES

  ON THIS GREAT MAGIC NIGHT     



   

                   

OH.  HI, SAM.



   

                   

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT

ON THE HOTTEST DAY OF THE YEAR

THE AIR-CONDITIONING GOES OUT.



   

                   

WELL, HOW'D IT GO TODAY ?



   

                   

- IT DIDN'T.

- DIDN'T WHAT ?

- IT DIDN'T GO.



   

                   

I SAW A MUSIC PUBLISHER,

A COUPLE OF TALENT AGENTS

AND A RECORD COMPANY V.P.



   

                   

- WHAT'D THEY SAY ?

- "WOULD I DISCUSS IT

   OVER DINNER ?"



   

                   

- IT'S THE SAME OLD

  CASTING COUCH ROUTINE.

- SAM, THIS IS VERY DEPRESSING.



   

                   

CRITICAL.  I ATE

TWO SNOWBALLS, ONE DING DONG

AND A COUPLE OF TWINKIES.



   

                   

MAKE YOU FEEL

ANY BETTER ?



   

                   

IF YOU LIKE FEELING

LIKE THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY.



   

                   

WHO'S THE MOST IMPORTANT

RECORD PERSON WE BOTH KNOW ?



   

                   

STEVE WAITS.  OH, NO.



   

                   

I'M NOT SWALLOWING MY PRIDE

AND GOING BACK TO HIM.



   

                   

SURE YOU CAN.

UH-UH.



   

                   

ANYBODY WHO CAN SWALLOW

TWO SNOWBALLS

AND A DING DONG...



   

                   

SHOULDN'T HAVE

ANY TROUBLE WITH PRIDE.



   

                   

YOU'RE DOING HIM

A FAVOR, SAM.



   

                   

I'M A VERY TALENTED

COMPOSER, RIGHT ?

RIGHT.



   

                   

AND MARRAKECH RECORDS

IS THE BIGGEST

AND THE BEST.



   

                   

SO WHY DON'T WE START

AT THE TOP ?  IT'S BETTER

THAN WORKING OUR WAY UP.



   

                   

WHAT DO YOU SAY ?

THAT'S MY KIND OF LOGIC.



   

                   

HELP ME GET READY.

GREAT.



   

                   

ALL RIGHT.



   

                   

WHAT SHOULD I GIVE HIM ?

INNOCENT LITTLE GIRL

OR WOMAN OF THE WORLD ?



   

                   

WELL, IF YOU ASKED ME,

I'D TAKE--



   

                   

I KNOW WHAT YOU'D CHOOSE.

WHICH REMINDS ME.



   

                   

HOW COME I HAVEN'T HEARD

THE PITTER-PATTER OF LITTLE

STEWARDESSES' PUMPS LATELY ?



   

                   

HAVE YOU BEEN DECLARED

OFF-LIMITS ?

NO.  THEY HAVE.



   

                   

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?

- I'VE GIVEN UP

  MY LOVE LIFE COMPLETELY...



   

                   

UNTIL AFTER I'VE GOTTEN

SOMETHING RECORDED.



   

                   

- I MADE A SOLEMN VOW.

- JACK, THAT COULD TAKE--



   

                   

SHH !  DON'T SAY IT.

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.



   

                   

JUST PICK OUT YOUR DRESS

AND GO SELL YOUR ASS OFF.



   

                   

WELL, THIS DEFINITELY CALLS

FOR TITS AND TEARS.



   

                   

WELL, SURE I GOT TIME

FOR YOU.  GO AHEAD.

[ Buzzing ]



   

                   

WHAT ?  NO, WE ARE

SHIPPING TRIPLE PLATINUM.

ABSOLUTELY NO RETURNS.



   

                   

ANYBODY ELSE CALL ?

ROD STEWART.



   

                   

GET ME HIS PRIVATE NUMBER.

CAN'T GET IT

FROM CELEBRITY SERVICE.



   

                   

WOULD YOU FIND ME ROD STEWART ?

WHEN YOU DO, HAVE HIM CALL ME

BACK IMMEDIATELY.  YES !



   

                   

UH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.



   

                   

UH-HUH.  UH-HUH.



   

                   

SAMANTHA.  OUT.  UH-HUH.



   

                   

UH-HUH.



   

                   

OH !



   

                   

OOH.  UH-HUH.



   

                   

UH-HUH.



   

                   

UH--  MM-HMM.



   

                   

UH-HUH.



   

                   

UH-HUH.



   

                   

OH, YEAH.



   

                   

UH-HUH.



   

                   

MM-HMM.



   

                   

DON'T I GET A KISS ?



   

                   

FIFTY-THOUSAND DOLLARS ?

ARE YOU CRAZY ?



   

                   

WHO DO YOU THINK I AM,

NEIL BOGART ?  KEEP IN TOUCH.



   

                   

CAN I GET YOU A DRINK ?

[ Buzzes ]



   

                   

WHAT ?  NO.  WAIT, WAIT.

WOULD YOU JUST WAIT ?



   

                   

NOW, HOW DID WE RELEASE

THE NEW SINGLE IN ATLANTA ?



   

                   

YEAH.  UH, TELL HIM

I'LL CALL HIM BACK.



   

                   

NOW, UH, WHERE WERE WE ?

WELL, STEVE,

IF I COULD JUST--



   

                   

[ Buzzes ]

ONE SECOND.  YEAH ?



   

                   

NO.  TELL HIM I'LL SEE HIM

A LITTLE AFTER  :  .

WAIT A MINUTE.



   

                   

SAMANTHA,

WHERE ARE YOU GOING ?

SAMANTHA, WAIT A MINUTE.



   

                   

YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN.

IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME.



   

                   

LIVING WITH

THE TOUCH-TONE KID.

I CAN'T GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE.



   

                   

YOU MEAN THE TELEPHONE ?

YEAH.



   

                   

NO, THIS IS ME IN THE PAST.

THIS IS NOT ME NOW.  NO.



   

                   

NO, YOU'VE CHANGED.

YEAH.  I'LL CALL YOU BACK.



   

                   

YOU DON'T HAVE

A PHONE IN YOUR LIMO ?



   

                   

NEXT TO THE JOHN ?

 NEXT TO THE BED ?



   

                   

IN THE SAUNA ?



   

                   

NO.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.



   

                   

OKAY, WAIT.

JUST ONE MINUTE.

ONE MINUTE.



   

                   

WANNA SEE WHAT I THINK

OF TELEPHONES NOW ?



   

                   

THAT'S WHAT I THINK

OF TELEPHONES NOW !

[ Phone Buzzes ]



   

                   

HELLO.  LOOK, WILL YOU

JUST HOLD ALL CALLS ?



   

                   

I GOTTA GET OUT

OF THIS BUSINESS.

HAVE A SEAT, SWEETHEART.



   

                   

YEAH.



   

                   

WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU

IS THAT I'M DIFFERENT NOW.



   

                   

AND--  WELL, THE FACT IS THAT,

UH, THE REASONS YOU LEFT ME

SIMPLY DON'T EXIST ANYMORE.



   

                   

[ Phone Buzzes ]



   

                   

I DON'T EVEN HAVE

TO ANSWER THAT.



   

                   

PROVE IT.

[ Buzzing Continues ]



   

                   

OH, GOD.  I'VE REALLY

MISSED YOU, YOU KNOW THAT ?



   

                   

I'VE-- I'VE NEVER

STOPPED LOVING YOU,

EVER, EVER, EVER.



   

                   

[ Buzzing Continues ]

THAT BODY OF YOURS

IS SO BEAUTIFUL.



   

                   

I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.



   

                   

I'VE GOT TO HAVE YOU AGAIN.

I LOVE YOU.



   

                   

- WAS THAT ROD STEWART ?

- STEVE, THIS IS NOT EXACTLY

  WHAT I HAD IN MIND.



   

                   

OH, SAM.  DO YOU THINK

THERE'S ANYTHING LEFT

BETWEEN US ?



   

                   

WELL, YEAH.

WHY DON'T WE, UM, MAKE

SOME BEAUTIFUL MUSIC TOGETHER ?



   

                   

A CASSETTE ?



   

                   

OH, NO.  NOT YOU TOO.



   

                   

OH, JEEZ.

EVERYBODY IS PUSHING

THEIR MUSIC THESE DAYS !



   

                   

I KNOW WHAT IT IS.

YOU GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND WHO'S

LEARNING HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR.



   

                   

WRONG.

I HAVE A NEW LIFE,

NOT A NEW BOYFRIEND.



   

                   

IT'S JACK'S MUSIC.

YOU REMEMBER JACK ?



   

                   

YEAH.  THAT KID THAT TOOK CARE

OF YOUR APARTMENT LAST SUMMER

A_D LET ALL THE PLANTS DIE ?



   

                   

WELL, HE'S VERY TALENTED,

AND HE COMPOSED ALL OF THAT.



   

                   

LISTEN TO ME, SAMANTHA.



   

                   

MUSIC MAY BE THE OIL

OF SHOW BUSINESS, BUT YOU

DO NOT WANT TO GET INVOLVED.



   

                   

- TRUST ME.

- TRUST ME.



   

                   

YOU'VE GOT THE BIGGEST

GROUPS AROUND.



   

                   

THEY'D GIVE THEIR EYETEETH

TO GET THEIR HANDS

ON THIS MUSIC.



   

                   

[ Woman ]

YOUR TAX LAWYERS

ARE WAITING, MR. WAITS.



   

                   

TAX LAWYERS.  EVERYBODY'S

GOT THEIR HANDS OUT.



   

                   

EX-PARTNERS,

STOCKHOLDERS, THE I.R.S.



   

                   

[ Weeping ]

TAKING EVERYTHING I GOT.



   

                   

I DO ALL THE WORK,

AND THEY TAKE ALL THE MONEY.



   

                   

GREED !  GREED !

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT GREED.



   

                   

MY GROUPS WRITE

AND RECORD THEIR OWN MUSIC...



   

                   

BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANNA SHARE

THEIR ROYALTIES WITH ANYBODY.



   

                   

THEY DON'T EVEN WANNA HEAR

ANYBODY ELSE'S STUFF.



   

                   

SO HOW DOES A COMPOSER

GET STARTED ?



   

                   

I DON'T KNOW.  I DON'T KNOW.

TELL HIM HE'S GOTTA

HAVE A HOOK.



   

                   

TELL JACK

TO GET HIMSELF A GROUP.



   

                   

A GROUP ?

BUT WE ARE A GROUP.



   

                   

THEY'RE RIGHT THERE

ON THE TAPE

AND THEY'RE FABULOUS.



   

                   

OH, YEAH ?

WHAT ARE THEY CALLED ?

I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU.



   

                   

WHERE ARE

THEY PERFORMING ?

THEY'RE NOT.



   

                   

SAM--

LOOK, I'VE GOT THEM

UNDER WRAPS.



   

                   

THEY'RE A REVOLUTIONARY

NEW CONCEPT, AND I'M NOT

HAVING MY GROUP RIPPED OFF.



   

                   

I THOUGHT

IT WAS JACK'S GROUP.

I'M THE MANAGER.



   

                   

YOU'RE A MANAGER ?



   

                   

YES, AND I'M NOT LEAVING

THIS OFFICE UNTIL I GET

A COMMITMENT FROM YOU...



   

                   

FOR A DEMO SESSION.

THAT'S VERY EASY.

YOU GOT IT.



   

                   

OH.  OH !  REALLY ?



   

                   

YEAH, YES.

YES.  YES.  YES.

THANK YOU.



   

                   

I REALLY OWE YOU ONE

FOR THIS.



   

                   

IF YOU REALLY MEAN THAT,



   

                   

THEN HOW ABOUT

THE EAST HAMPTON LIKE

THE OLD TIMES THIS WEEKEND ?



   

                   

OH, THAT'S REALLY

HARD FOR ME...



   

                   

BECAUSE, UH, I HAVE

TO CONTROL MYSELF

BECAUSE OF MY VOW.



   

                   

WHAT VOW ?

OH, WELL, I COMMITTED

MYSELF TO CHASTITY...



   

                   

UNTIL THE GROUP

BECOMES A SUCCESS.



   

                   

OH, CHASTITY.

YEAH, AND IT'S

REALLY HARD FOR ME.



   

                   

YEAH.

BECAUSE I WANT

WHAT YOU WANT.



   

                   

WHAT WE WANT.

 WHAT THE WHOLE WORLD WANTS.



   

                   

BECAUSE YOU'RE

THE ONE THAT I WANT.



   

                   

NOBODY DOES IT BETTER.

SO KNOCK ON WOOD.



   

                   

SOMEDAY I'LL FIND YOU

AND WE'LL BE TOGETHER

AGAIN FOR SOME...



   

                   

HOT STUFF BECAUSE

I LOVE THE NIGHTLIFE...



   

                   

AND, OOH, I WANNA

MAKE IT WITH YOU.



   

                   

SO I'LL BE SEEING YOU

BECAUSE YOU LIGHT UP

MY LIFE.



   

                   

OOH.

SHOO-BE-DO-BE-DO.



   

                   

HI.  UH--



   

     _              

UH, WHICH WAY'S

THE MEN'S ROOM ?



   

                   

RIGHT OVER THERE.

THAT WAY.



   

                   

RICHARD.

COME ON IN.

HI.



   

                   

HELLO.



   

                   

UM, HOLD IT !



   

                   

HEY, WATCH IT.



   

                   

YOU'RE REALLY LUCKY

I'M A NICE PERSON.



   

                   

I COULD HAVE RAFFLED

THIS OFF IN THE ELEVATOR.



   

                   

THANK YOU.



   

                   

HEY, I MEAN IT.



   

                   

I REALLY WANNA APOLOGIZE

FOR THE OTHER NIGHT.



   

                   

I'M A GEMINI.

I GOT TWO PERSONALITIES.

THIS IS THE GOOD ONE.



   

                   

COME ON.

LET'S BE FRIENDS.



   

                   

THE ONLY MAN WHO EVER

SAID THAT TO ME

AND MEANT IT WAS JACK.



   

                   

WELL, FRIENDLY.



   

                   

CAN I TAKE YOU TO DINNER ?

DON'T YOU HAVE

TO GET BACK TO WORK ?



   

                   

I'LL COOK UP SOME STORY

AND IT TO 'EM TOMORROW.



   

                   

HMM.

THE DEVIOUS TYPE, HUH ?



   

                   

WELL, ACTUALLY,

I'M VERY COOL, CALM

AND CONSCIENTIOUS.



   

                   

IN FACT, EVERYTHING I DO

IS ON TIME, NEAT AND CORRECT.



   

                   

I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME

I GOT AWAY WITH

A LITTLE SOMETHING.



   

                   

THIS IS REALLY TERRIFIC,

BUT I HAVE TO GET HOME.



   

                   

COME ON !

I'VE LOST HALF A DAY'S PAY.



   

                   

RON, YOU'RE REALLY NICE,

BUT I HAVE A GROUP

TO PUT TOGETHER.



   

                   

NEED ANY HELP ?

ALL I CAN GET.



   

                   

ALL RIGHT !

[ Whistles ]



   

                   

HEY, BUDDY !



   

                   

DAMN.

IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.



   

                   

- [ Whistles ]

- [ Horn Honks ]



   

                   

HEY !  WHOO !



   

                   

[ Tires Screech ]

IT TAKES MORE THAN A PRETTY FACE

TO GET ANYWHERE IN THIS TOWN.



   

                   

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

JEEZ !



   

                   

MA'AM ?



   

                   

     [ Humming ]



   

                   

JACK !  JACK !



   

                   

JACK !  JACK !

WE'RE A GROUP !



   

                   

WE'VE GOT STUDIO TIME !

WHAT ?



   

                   

YOU REMEMBER RON.

HE'S REALLY VERY NICE.



   

                   

HEY, I CAN'T GET THAT SONG

OUT OF MY HEAD.



   

                   

REMEMBER THAT--

   MAGIC NIGHT  

   

RIGHT.



   

                   

HEY, BUT-- BUT--

HOW'S THE INDIAN ?

FINE.



   

                   

WOULD YOU GET

THE MUSTARD AND THE RELISH ?

I HAVE TO TAKE MY LENSES OUT.



   

                   

THEY'RE KILLING ME.

WAIT, SAM !  YOU GOTTA TELL ME

LOGICALLY AND SIMPLY...



   

                   

WHAT WENT ON

OVER THERE !

WE ARE A GROUP !



   

                   

WE'RE A GROUP !

YEAH, BUT...



   

                   

YOU JUST DON'T

PUT TOGETHER A GROUP

LIKE IT WAS A LAUNDRY LOAD.



   

                   

"LAUNDRY LOAD."

HEY, THAT'S NOT A BAD NAME.

WHERE IS THAT DISTILLED WATER ?



   

                   

I'VE GOTTA TAKE MY LENSES--

I'LL USE PERRIER.



   

                   

DO YOU KNOW

WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT ?



   

                   

I HAVEN'T QUITE

GOT THE WHOLE THING,

BUT IT SOUNDS PROMISING.



   

                   

WAIT A MINUTE.

SAM, STOP WITH

ALL THIS BUSY WORK.



   

                   

THIS IS ALL--

 THIS IS MY LIFE HERE !



   

                   

WAIT A MINUTE.  TELL ME,

HOW DO YOU PUT TOGETHER

A GROUP THAT DOESN'T EXIST ?



   

                   

[ Timer Buzzes ]

I GOT IT.

I JUST DID IT.



   

                   

I USED MY BRAINS, NOT MY BODY.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT

AN ACCOMPLISHMENT THAT IS ?



   

                   

DO YOU KNOW HOW GOOD

THAT MAKES ME FEEL ?

YEAH.



   

                   

BUT IT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN

WHAT'S GOING ON !



   

                   

WE, MY DARLING, ARE A GROUP.

YEAH.

WE'RE A GROUP.



   

                   

OH !  OH, NO !

OW !



   

                   

OH, MY GOD !  OH, NO !



   

                   

OH !  OH, MY GOD !

THANKS A LOT !



   

                   

OH, MY FLOOR !

ALL OVER THE MUSIC !



    

                   

GET HIS PANTS OFF.

HELP ME GET HIS PANTS OFF.

I'M BURNING !



    

                   

IT'S ALL OVER

MY PARQUET FLOOR.

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL,



    

                   

WE NEED MORE GUYS.

WHY ?



    

                   

MY MUSIC NEEDS

A VERY BIG SOUND,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ?



    

                   

OH, I GOT IT !

 WE'LL PUT ADS INVARIETY,

BACKSTAGEANDBILLBOARD.



    

                   

WE'LL HOLD AUDITIONS.

OH, BUT WHERE ?

WE CAN'T DO IT HERE...



    

                   

BECAUSE WE MADE

SO MUCH NOISE

THE OTHER NIGHT...



    

                   

THAT TWO NEIGHBORS

COMPLAINED AND--



    

                   

I CAN'T AFFORD

TO RENT A HALL.



    

                   

WELL, YOU CAN USE MY OFFICE.

YOUR OFFICE

A WEEK FROM FRIDAY ?



    

                   

YEAH, SURE.

FANTASTIC !

SAM, YOU WRITE UP THE AD.



    

                   

THIS IS TERRIFIC !

I GOTTA THINK !

WE GOT A GROUP !



    

                   

WHO'D HAVE THUNK IT,

RIGHT ?  HEY.



    

                   

ECH !  I'LL THINK

ABOUT THAT TOMORROW.

BLECH !



    

                   

- DO YOU WEAR A DICKIE ?

- SMART ALECK.



    

                   

YOU GO WRITE THE AD.

SAM, I LEFT A NEW SONG

ON MY RECORDER.



    

                   

GIVE IT A LISTEN IF YOU'VE

GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO.



    

                   

I THINK I CAN DO

TWO THINGS AT ONCE.



    

                   

[ Chuckling ]

THE PAD AND THE PENCIL

ARE ON THE DESK.



    

                   

UM, SAM'S VERY DELICATE.



    

                   

I'D LIKE FOR HER

NOT TO SEE YOUR KNEES.



    

                   

[ Chuckling ]



    

                   

CRAZY.



    

                   

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME WINE ?



    

                   

THAT'D BE NICE.



    

                   

YOU LOOK QUITE COMFORTABLE.



    

                   

I-I AM.



    

                   

THIS CITY WAS

GETTING TO ME FOR A WHILE,



    

                   

BUT I THINK

I'M GETTING USED TO IT.



    

                   

I'VE BEEN LIVING HERE

AND WORKING HERE

SINCE I WAS   



    

                   

AND I WOULDN'T LIVE

ANYWHERE ELSE.



    

                   

YOU KNOW,

I NEVER DATED A GIRL

WITH A MALE ROOMMATE.



    

                   

WELL, THIS IS THE '  s,

DARLING.



    

                   

YOU'RE GONNA SEE

A LOT OF THINGS YOU'VE

NEVER SEEN BEFORE.



    

                   

[ Gasps ]

OH, EXCUSE ME !

OH, I'M SORRY !



    

                   

HERE.  LET ME HELP

GET IT OFF--  OH !



    

                   

OH, MY DRESS, IT'S CAUGHT.

IT COST ME $    .



    

                   

CAN YOU HELP ME UNDO IT ?

$     FOR A DRESS ?



    

                   

YEAH, BUT I GOT IT WHOLESALE.

HERE, _ELP ME UNBUTTON IT.



    

                   

I CAN'T REACH IT.

I'M NOT MOVING.

I KNOW I'LL TEAR IT.



    

                   

OH, MY GOD.

WAIT A MINUTE.



    

                   

HERE, DOES THIS HELP ?



    

                   

YEAH !



    

                   

WELL, GET--

LET ME SEE IF I--



    

                   

[ Groaning ]



    

                   

OH, MY GOD.

[ Groaning ]



    

                   

YEAH, I GOT IT.

I GOT IT.

WAIT A MINUTE.



    

                   

WHAT ARE YOU--

I THINK I GOT IT.



    

                   

WAIT.  CAN YOU HELP ME ?

MY CUFF DOWN HERE.

WHERE ?



    

                   

WAIT A MINUTE !

 WAIT A MINUTE !

WHAT ?



    

                   

ARE YOU MARRIED ?



    

                   

UH, KIND OF.



    

                   

NOW LISTEN,

I DRAW THE LINE AT YOUNGER MEN,



    

                   

BUT I DEFINITELY DRAW THE LINE

AT YOUNGER MARRIED MEN.



    

                   

IT'S COMIN' THROUGH.

MY DIVORCE.

WHAT ?



    

                   

THAT IS A TIRED LINE.

NO, IT'S NOT.



    

                   

THAT'S WHY I MOVED

FROM ST. LOUIS,

TO HAVE SOME FUN.



    

                   

OH, WHOA !

[ Laughing ]



    

                   

WELL, ARE YOU ?



    

                   

I AM NOW.



    

                   

THIS LITTLE PIGGY

WENT TO MARKET...

CUT IT OUT !



    

                   

AND THIS LITTLE PIGGY

WENT HOME.



    

                   

- WAIT !  I'M TICKLISH !

- THIS LITTLE PIGGY...



    

                   

WHOA !



    

                   

YOU SURE GET UP QUICK.



    

                   

UM, "QUICKLY."



    

                   

WHAT ARE YOU,

A GRAMMARIAN ?



    

                   

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.



    

                   

YOU SURE KNOW

YOUR BODY ENGLISH.



    

                   

YOU'RE NOT

SO BAD YOURSELF.



    

                   

WHICH WAY DO WE GO ?

TO THE RIGHT.



    

                   

AND DON'T STOP

TILL SUNUP.



    

                   

WOW.



    

                   

IT'S, UH,

SO ORANGE.



    

                   

PEACH.



    

                   

WHOA !

[ Laughing ]



    

                   

YOU'RE SURE DANGEROUS

ON YOUR FEET.



    

                   

WE WON'T HAVE TO WORRY

ABOUT THAT FOR A WHILE.



    

                   

[ Crash ]

[ Samantha Laughing ]



    

                   

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

[ Ron ]

THESE ARE THE '  s, KID.



    

                   

YOU'RE GONNA DO A LOT OF THINGS

YOU'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE.



    

                   

[ Sustained Beep ]



    

                   

OH, MY GOD !

IT'S THE SMOKE ALARM !



    

                   

NO, IT'S NOT.

IT'S JUST MY WATCH.



    

                   

[ Sighs ]

I GOTTA BE IN COURT BY  :  .



    

                   

I GOTTA GO HOME AND CHANGE.



    

                   

I HOPE YOU DON'T THINK

I'M A HIT-AND-RUN ARTIST.



    

                   

WAS THAT CRUDE ?

I DON'T WANNA BE CRUDE, BUT--



    

                   

IT WAS WONDERFUL.



    

                   

YOU'RE WONDERFUL.



    

                   

NOW, I GUESS

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS--



    

                   

AH, SHIT.



    

                   

YOU'RE FABULOUS.



    

                   

[ Bell Tolling ]



    

                   

SO WHAT

DO YOU THINK ?

GIRL, THIS IS CRAZY.



    

                   

ALEXANDER, YOU'RE SO SHY

THAT PEOPLE JUST FORGE_.



    

                   

NOW, LISTEN, YOU GOTTA

COME OUT OF YOUR SHELL...



    

                   

OR YOU'RE GONNA BE

LEADING THAT GROUP

IN WASHINGTON SQUARE...



    

                   

FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,

AND EVERYTHING ELSE

IS GONNA PASS YOU BY.



    

                   

THAT'S WHY I TOOK A JOB

AS A STAGEHAND AT THE THEATER.



    

                   

THAT'S YOUR FIRST

STRATEGIC CAREER MISTAKE.

OKAY.



    

                   

OKAY, OKAY.  SO WHAT ELSE

HAVE YOU BEEN DOING

WITH YOURSELF ?



    

                   

I'VE BEEN WORKING

WITH THE GROUP

AT WASHINGTON SQUARE,



    

                   

GOING TO NATIONAL GUARD

MEETINGS, GETTING BY.



    

                   

YOU KNOW,

NOTHING MORE.



    

                   

WHAT I KNOW IS,

YOU'RE GONNA BE MY SECOND

DISCOVERY FOR THIS GROUP.



    

                   

WHAT HAVE I

GOT TO LOSE ?



    

                   

[ Dings ]



    

                   

GOSH, I WISH

I HAD TIME TO CHANGE.



    

                   

THIS LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THESE

UPTIGHT CONSERVATIVE

LAW OFFICES.



    

                   

NOT TO WORRY.

YOU LOOK JUST FINE.



    

                   

COME ON.



    

                   

OH !  WHAT ?

COME ON !



    

                   

GIRL, IS THIS A JOKE ?



    

                   

THIS IS THE CRAZIEST PLACE

I'VE EVER SEEN.



    

                   

WATCH IT !

LOOK AT HER !

WHERE ARE WE ?



    

                   

GIVE ME THAT PHONE !

 GIVE IT TO ME !



    

                   

[ All Yelling ]



    

                   

I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS,

GENTLEMEN, PLEASE !

GIVE ME A CHANCE !



    

                   

I'VE GOT EVERYTHING

UNDER CONTROL.

DON'T WORRY.



    

                   

JACK !  HI !

OH, ALICIA !



    

                   

HOW YOU DOIN' ?

FINE.  THIS IS ALEXANDER.



    

                   

HE WORKS THE LIGHTS FOR

MY SHOW, BUT HE'D BE

PERFECT FOR THE GROUP.



    

                   

GREAT.  NICE TO MEET YOU.

ALICIA, I NEVER EXPECTED

SUCH A TURNOUT.



    

                   

IS THIS UNBELIEVABLE ?

HELP ME OUT WITH THE CARDS.

I GOTTA GET INSIDE.



    

                   

ALEX, COME ON.

THERE YOU GO.



    

                   

PLEASE !  OKAY, ONE SECOND !

STAND BACK !



    

                   

JACK, WE'VE GOT TO TALK.

RON, JUST A SECOND.



    

                   

ALEX, DID I SEE YOU SINGING

IN WASHINGTON SQUARE ?



    

                   

THAT'S MY REHEARSAL SPACE.



    

                   

YOU'RE SUPER !



    

                   

LOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE

TO AUDITION TODAY.

WHY DON'T YOU SIT OVER THERE ?



    

                   

THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE WE'RE

CONSIDERING, AND WE'LL TALK

TO YOU IN A SECOND.



    

                   

OKAY ?  THANKS, ALEX.

JACK, WE'VE GOT SOME--



    

                   

     [ Whistling ]

LISTEN, SHH !



    

                   

PRACTICE IT

RIGHT OVER THERE.

THANK YOU.



    

                   

JACK--

JUST A SECOND !



    

                   

HEY !  THANK YOU !



    

                   

WHAT'D YOU THINK ?

UM--



    

                   

VERY... UNUSUAL.  HMM ?



    

                   

GREAT.

SAM, TAKE HIS NUMBER.



    

                   

AND WE'LL BE BACK TO YOU, OKAY ?

COULD YOU SIT RIGHT OVER THERE ?



    

                   

THANK YOU.

THANKS.



    

                   

WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT ?

LISTEN, I THOUGHT WE WERE

AUDITIONING SINGERS.



    

                   

WELL, THEY ALL SING,

DON'T THEY ?  COME ON !

TAKE IT EASY !



    

                   

NEXT.



    

                   

HEY !  HI, FOLKS !



    

                   

AH, NUMBER    !

BUSTER SIRWINSKY.



    

                   

   BODY, BODY

  WANNA FEEL MY BODY   



    

                   

   BODY, BODY   



    

                   

   WANNA TOUCH MY BODY

  BODY, BODY   



    

                   

   WANNA TOUCH MY BODY   



    

                   

   BODY, BODY   



    

                   

   IT'S TOO MUCH, MY BODY   



    

                   

   BODY, BODY   



    

                   

   WANNA FEEL MY BODY, BODY   



    

                   

   TURN IT OUT

  MY BODY, BODY   



    

                   

[ All Yelling ]



    

                   

I USED TO BE

A   -POUND WEAKLING,



    

                   

BUT I'VE ALWAYS HAD

A BIG VOICE.

MR. WHITE !



    

                   

WHAT IS THE MEANING

OF THIS CHARADE ?



    

                   

ROGER, WHAT ON EARTH

IS GOING ON HERE ?



    

                   

- MOTHER, WHAT ARE YOU

  DOING HERE ?

- MOTHER ?



    

                   

- MOTHER ?

- THAT'S YOUR MOTHER ?



    

                   

SHE LOOKS BETTER THAN I DO.



    

                   

[ Whistles ]

[ Ron ]

WE'RE HOLDING AUDITIONS.



    

                   

WELL, YOU'VE CERTAINLY

ASSEMBLED A COLORFUL GROUP.



    

                   

HOLDING AUDITIONS

FOR WHAT, IF I MAY ASK.



    

                   

- A HOT NEW SINGING GROUP.

- UH, RON.



    

                   

RON, YOU, UH,

YOU DIDN'T ANSWER

MY QUESTION.



    

                   

YOU HEARD WHAT HE SAID.

WE'RE HOLDING AUDITIONS

FOR A NEW SINGING GROUP.



    

                   

THAT IS JACK MORELL,



    

                   

A NEW COMPOSER

AND A NEW CLIENT.



    

                   

THIS FIRM'S REPRESENTED

MANY ENTERTAINMENT CLIENTS

OVER THE YEARS.



    

                   

YES, TRUE.  COLE PORTER

PLAYED THAT PIANO.



    

                   

WE REPRESENTED

RODGERS AND HAMMERSTEIN,

MARVIN HAMLISCH.



    

                   

BUT THIS SORT OF SHENANIGANS

IS NOTHING SHORT OF

DISGRACEFUL.



    

                   

I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY.



    

                   

RON, DEAR, DIDN'T

GREENWICH VILLAGE PEOPLE-TYPES

GO OUT WITH THE '  s ?



    

                   

THAT'S IT !  THE NAME !

VILLAGE PEOPLE !



    

                   

THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.

 THAT'S WHAT WE ARE.

THAT'S WHERE WE'RE FROM.



    

                   

VILLAGE PEOPLE !

THAT'S FANTASTIC !  THANK YOU !



    

                   

[ Laughing ]

WELL, IT DOES HAVE

A CERTAIN CHARM.



    

                   

VILLAGE PEOPLE.

I CAN SELL THAT.



    

                   

HAVE WE MET ?

YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.



    

                   

THIS IS THE FACE

THAT LAUNCHED

A MILLION LIPSTICKS.



    

                   

SAMANTHA SIMPSON,

NORMA WHITE.



    

                   

WHY, OF COURSE !

I'VE SEEN YOU INVOGUE

AND IN WOMEN'S--



    

                   

WHY, I AM SO VERY PLEASED

TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.



    

                   

THANK YOU.

NUMBER    !



    

                   

I'M FROM THE BRONX.

MY NAME IS GLENN HUGHES.



    

                   

MY WORD !

BASIC BLACK.



    

                   

WHAT DO YOU DO, GLENN ?

I'M A TOLL COLLECTOR AT

THE BROOKLYN BATTERY TUNNEL.



    

                   

DO ALL TOLL COLLECTORS

LOOK LIKE THAT ?



    

                   

JUST THE HOT ONES.



    

                   

WHAT'S YOUR TALENT ?

HUH ?



    

                   

AREN'T YOU HERE

FOR THE AUDITIONS ?

AUDITIONS ?



    

                   

I'M HERE FOR AN EXTENSION

ON MY INCOME TAX.



    

                   

GLENN, YOU'RE

IN THE WRONG ROOM.



    

                   

WE'RE HAVING AUDITIONS

FOR A SINGING GROUP.

A SINGING GROUP ?



    

                   

WELL, YOU AIN'T

HEARD NOTHIN' YET.



    

                   

     [ Piano ]



    

                   

   OH, DANNY BOY   



    

                   

   THE PIPES

   THE PIPES ARE CALLING   



    

                   

   FROM GLEN TO GLEN   



    

                   

   AND DOWN THE MOUNTAINSIDE   



    

                   

   THE SUMMER'S GONE   



    

                   

   AND ALL THE ROSES FALLING   



    

                   

   'TIS YOU

   'TIS YOU MUST GO   



    

                   

   AND I MUST BIDE   



    

                   

   BUT COME YE BACK   



    

                   

 

   WHEN SUMMER'S IN THE MEADOW  



    

                   

 

   OR WHEN THE VALLEY'S HUSHED  



    

                   

   AND WHITE WITH SNOW   



    

                   

   'TIS I'LL BE   



    

                   

   HERE   



    

                   

   IN SUNSHINE   



    

                   

   OR IN SHADOWS   



    

                   

   OH, DANNY BOY   



    

                   

   OH, DANNY BOY   



    

                   

   I LOVE YOU SO     



    

                   

NOT BAD, NOT BAD.

GREAT !



    

                   

YOU ARE FANTASTIC !

RON, SIGN HIM UP.



    

                   

LET'S TALK BUSINESS.

NOW, THIS GROUP

WE'RE PUTTING TOGETHER--



    

                   

UH, RON, MAY I SEE YOU

FOR A MOMENT ?



    

                   

YEAH ?

RON--



    

                   

RON, I APPRECIATE

YOUR NEWFOUND INTEREST

IN THE THEATRICAL WORLD.



    

                   

HOWEVER, I'M AFRAID

THAT YOUR CHOICE OF

ENTERTAINMENT CLIENTS...



    

                   

IS UNACCEPTABLE

TO THIS FIRM.



    

                   

I WOULD APPRECIATE

YOUR LIMITING YOUR

FUTURE ENDEAVORS...



    

                   

TO THE TAX AREA.



    

                   

THIS COUNTRY IS OVERTAXED,

AND SO AM I.  I QUIT !



    

                   

THIS IS ENTIRELY

UP TO YOU,



    

                   

BUT I THINK YOU'RE MAKING

A BIG CAREER MISTAKE.



    

                   

OH, RON, RON, DEAR.



    

                   

CALL ME AFTER  :  

AT THE PLAZA.



    

                   

WE'LL GET

ALL OF THIS RESOLVED.

YEAH, MOM.



    

                   

AH !  IT IS SO NICE

TO HAVE MET YOU,

MISS SIMPSON.



    

                   

THANK YOU.



    

                   

HOW COULD YOU JUST

UP AND QUIT YOUR JOB LIKE THAT ?



    

                   

WHY NOT ?  I'M THE LAWYER

FOR THE HOTTEST NEW GROUP

IN SHOW BUSINESS--



    

                   

THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.



    

                   

HEY, HEY !  WAIT TILL YOU

GET A LOAD OF THIS !



    

                   

I'M JAMES,

AND FLAME'S MY GAME.



    

                   

     [ Piano ]



    

                   

[ Fire Alarm Ringing ]

[ Screaming ]



    

                   

[ Laughing ]



    

                   

I ALWAYS KNEW THIS JOB

WOULD BE A WASHOUT.



    

                   

WHAT A BEGINNING !



    

                   

THIS WAY.

[ Chattering ]



    

                   

WAIT A MINUTE !

 WAIT A MINUTE !



    

                   

I AM NOT TAKING ONE MORE STEP

TILL I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING.

RIGHT !



    

                   

YEAH !  I QUIT MY JOB,

AND YOU GOT ME

WALKING A BEAT AGAIN.



    

                   

AND I'M NOT EVEN

GETTING PAID FOR IT.

HEY, HOLD YOUR HORSES.



    

                   

I TOLD YOU I HAD

A SURPRISE FOR YOU.



    

                   

I HOPE SO !  I TURNED IN

MY COIN CHANGER

AT THE TOLL BOOTH.



    

                   

HEY, DON'T FORGET

I QUIT MY JOB TOO.



    

                   

I GOT FAITH IN YOU.

REALLY ?



    

                   

YEAH.  I GOT FAITH

IN ALL OF YOU.



    

                   

SO LET'S GET GOING.

I GOT A PLACE TO REHEARSE

RIGHT AROUND HERE.



    

                   

AND IT'S FREE !

HEY !  ALL RIGHT !



    

                   

THAT'S WONDERFUL !



    

                   

WELL, YOU SEE--  YOU SEE,

MY DAD IS A MOOSE

IN ST. LOUIS.



    

                   

AND I FIGURED, WELL,

HE'S INTO COMMUNITY

SERVICES.



    

                   

I FIGURED A CITY THE SIZE OF

NEW YORK THAT THERE HAD TO BE

SOMEBODY DID THE SAME THING.



    

                   

SO I MADE A FEW PHONE CALLS,

SOMEBODY GAVE ME AN ADDRESS...



    

                   

AND MADE ARRANGEMENTS

FOR US TO USE IT.



    

                   

HEY, THAT'S TERRIFIC !

YOU'RE TERRIFIC.



    

                   

WELL, WAIT.



    

                   

IT TAKES MORE

THAN A PRETTY FACE

TO GET AROUND THIS TOWN.



    

                   

    

AW !



    

                   

COME ON, GUYS !

YEAH !  YEAH !  YEAH !



    

                   

 

   YOUNG MAN

  THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN  



    

                   

 

   I SAID, YOUNG MAN

  PICK YOURSELF OFF THE GROUND  



    

                   

   I SAID, YOUNG MAN

  'CAUSE YOU'RE IN A NEW TOWN   



    

                   

   THERE'S NO NEED

  TO BE UNHAPPY   



    

                   

   YOUNG MAN

  THERE'S A PLACE YOU CAN GO   



    

                   

   I SAID, YOUNG MAN, WHEN

  YOU'RE SHORT ON YOUR DOUGH   



    

                   

   YOU CAN STAY THERE   



    

                   

   AND I'M SURE YOU WILL FIND

  MANY WAYS TO HAVE

  A GOOD TIME   



    

                   

   IT'S FUN TO STAY

  AT THE YMCA   



    

                   

   IT'S FUN TO STAY

  AT THE YMCA   



    

                   

   THEY HAVE EVERYTHING

  FOR YOU MEN TO ENJOY   



    

                   

   YOU CAN HANG OUT

  WITH ALL THE BOYS   



    

                   

   IT'S FUN TO STAY

  AT THE YMCA   



    

                   

   IT'S FUN TO STAY

  AT THE YMCA   



    

                   

   YOU CAN GET YOURSELF CLEAN

   YOU CAN HAVE A GOOD MEAL   



    

                   

   YOU CAN DO

  WHATEVER YOU FEEL   



    

                   

   YOUNG MAN

  ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME   



    

                   

   I SAID, YOUNG MAN

  WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE   



    

                   

   I SAID, YOUNG MAN

  YOU CAN MAKE REAL

  YOUR DREAMS   



    

                   

   BUT YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW

  THIS ONE THING   



    

                   

   NO MAN

  DOES IT ALL BY HIMSELF   



    

                   

   I SAID, YOUNG MAN

  PUT YOUR PRIDE ON THE SHELF   



    

                   

   AND JUST GO THERE

  TO THE YMCA   



    

                   

   I'M SURE THEY CAN

  HELP YOU TODAY   



    

                   

   IT'S FUN TO STAY

  AT THE YMCA   



    

                   

   YMCA   



    

                   

   YMCA   



    

                   

   IT'S FUN TO STAY

  AT THE YMCA   



    

                   

   THEY HAVE EVERYTHING

  FOR YOU MEN TO ENJOY   



    

                   

   YOU CAN HANG OUT

  WITH ALL THE BOYS   



    

                   

   IT'S FUN TO STAY

  AT THE YMCA   



    

                   

   IT'S FUN TO STAY

  AT THE YMCA   



    

                   

   YOU CAN GET YOURSELF CLEAN

   YOU CAN HAVE A GOOD MEAL   



    

                   

   YOU CAN DO

  WHATEVER YOU FEEL   



    

                   

   YOUNG MAN

  I WAS ONCE IN YOUR SHOES   



    

                   

   I SAID, I WAS

  DOWN AND OUT WITH THE BLUES   



    

                   

   I FELT NO MAN

  CARED IF I WERE ALIVE   



    

                   

   I FELT THE WHOLE WORLD

  WAS SO JIVE   



    

                   

   THAT'S WHEN

  SOMEONE CAME UP TO ME   



    

                   

   AND SAID, YOUNG MAN

  TAKE A WALK UP THE STREET   



    

                   

   THERE'S A PLACE THERE

  CALLED THE YMCA   



    

                   

   THEY CAN START YOU

  BACK ON YOUR WAY   



    

                   

   IT'S FUN TO STAY

  AT THE YMCA   



    

                   

   IT'S FUN TO STAY

  AT THE YMCA   



    

                   

 

   YOUNG MAN, YOUNG MAN

  THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN  



    

                   

 

   YOUNG MAN, YOUNG MAN

  PICK YOURSELF OFF THE GROUND  



    

                   

   YMCA   



    

                   

   AND JUST GO TO THE Y   

   YMCA   



    

                   

   YOUNG MAN, YOUNG MAN

  ARE YOU LISTENIN' TO ME   



    

                   

   YOUNG MAN, YOUNG MAN

  WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE   



    

                   

   YMCA   



    

                   

   YOU'LL FIND IT AT THE Y   

   YMCA   



    

                   

   NO MAN, YOUNG MAN

  DOES IT ALL BY HIMSELF   



    

                   

   YOUNG MAN, YOUNG MAN

  PUT YOUR PRIDE ON THE SHELF   



    

                   

   YMCA   



    

                   

   YMCA   



    

                   

   YMCA   



    

                   

   YMCA   



    

                   

   YMCA     



    

                   

HOLY SMOKES.

HE WAS SUPPOSED

TO BE HERE AN HOUR AGO.



    

                   

CALM DOWN.

HE'S UNDER MORE PRESSURE

THAN YOU ARE.



    

                   

BESIDES,

HE'S NEVER BEEN ON TIME

FOR ANYTHING IN HIS LIFE.



    

                   

ESPECIALLY HIS TAXES.



    

                   

ONE AND TWO AND--

     [ Humming ]



    

                   

UH, I DON'T KNOW, LULU.

IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT.



    

                   

MAYBE WE OUGHTA

DO SOMETHING MORE.



    

                   

I'M A SINGER, NOT A DANCER.

WELL, COME ON, BOYS !



    

                   

TODAY EVERYBODY

IS A DANCER.



    

                   

THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR:

WARDROBE AND STEPS.



    

                   

HERE HE COMES.



    

                   

THEN WHAT DO WE DO ?

WHAT DO WE DO ?



    

                   

WE DO WHAT

WE REHEARSED.



    

                   

BUT WE DO IT, UH,

SEXY !



    

                   

[ Laughing ]



    

                   

OKAY, GENTLEMEN,

THIS IS THE BIG MOMENT.



    

                   

WE'RE READY, I THINK.

SO LET'S SHOW HIM

SOMETHIN'...



    

                   

HE'LL NEVER FORGET.

[ Ringing ]



    

                   

HI, STEVE.

WHAT ?



    

                   

NO, I CAN'T SEE ANYBODY

TILL THE BEGINNING

OF NEXT WEEK.



    

                   

AND CAN YOU FIND ME

THE ADDRESS OF THIS PLACE

I GOTTA GO TO ?



    

                   

CAN I HEAR SOMETHING FAST ?

I GOTTA GO PICK UP AN AWARD.

HONEST, I DO.



    

                   

WHAT ?

WELL, WHERE YOU LOOKIN' ?

IT'S GOTTA BE THERE SOMEPLACE.



    

                   

WHAT'S ALL THIS BASS ?

IT'LL SOUND TERRIBLE.

THAT'S BETTER.



    

                   

YEAH, HOLD ON.

UH, YOU REMEMBER JACK.



    

                   

YEAH, MUSICAL GENIUS

OF TOMORROW, RIGHT ?



    

                   

I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR.

DAY AFTER TOMORROW, MAYBE.

[ Phone Ringing ]



    

                   

I'LL GET IT.

SIR, WHAT WE'VE GOT

FOR YOU TODAY....



    

                   

IS THE MUSIC THAT EVERYBODY'S

GONNA BE DANCING TO

NEXT MONTH...



    

                   

OR WHENEVER

YOU CAN GET THE ALBUM OUT.



    

                   

THE ALBUM ?

I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

MM-HMM.



    

                   

YOU SEE, SIR, THIS IS

THE SOUND OF THE '  s.



    

                   

EVERYBODY'S LOOKIN' FOR IT,

AND WE'VE GOT IT.



    

                   

WHEN THE OTHER KIDS WERE

FOLLOWING THE BASEBALL SCORES,

I WAS FOLLOWING THE CHARTS.



    

                   

YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING

ABOUT POPULAR MUSIC,

AND I KNOW IT.



    

                   

- GO AHEAD.

  ASK ME SOMETHING.

- RIGHT.



    

                   

HMM ?

WHERE ARE THE MEMBERS

OF THIS MAGICAL GROUP ?



    

                   

THEY'RE RIGHT THERE.



    

                   

I HATE HALLOWEEN.

OKAY, GENTLEMEN,



    

                   

LET'S SHOW MR. WAITS

WHAT WE CAN DO.



    

                   

SWEETHEART, WHY ARE

THEY DRESSED SO FUNNY ?

WELL, THEY'RE FROM THE VILLAGE.



    

                   

THAT'S WHY THEY'RE CALLED

VILLAGE PEOPLE.

OH, RIGHT.



    

                   

OKAY TO START, SIR ?

OH, YEAH, PLEASE.

GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD.



    

                   

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.



    

                   

    

HIT IT.



    

                   

FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, RAY !



    

                   

   YEAH   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

   LIBERATION   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

-    LIBERATION   

-   LIBERATION   



    

                   

   IT'S TIME FOR LIBERATION   

   RIGHT NOW   



    

                   

   LIBERATION, LIBERATION   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

  

   IT'S TIME FOR LIBERATION



    

                   

   OUT OF OUR WAY

  BECAUSE WE'RE READY TO FLY   



    

                   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

 

   AND FOR THIS RIGHT

  WE STAND HERE WILLING TO DIE  



    

                   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

 

   NO, WE WON'T LET THOSE

  SMALL MINDS STAND IN OUR WAY  



    

                   

   IF THERE'S A PRICE

  THEN WE ARE WILLING TO PAY   



    

                   

   STAND UP AND SING TOGETHER

  ALL IN ONE VOICE   



    

                   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

   IF YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH FREEDO

  YOU HAVE NO CHOICE   



    

                   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

   EVEN A CHILD CAN SEE

  THAT NOW IS THE TIME   



    

                   

   WHEN WILL YOU LEARN

  MY FRIEND   

[ Feedback ]



    

                   

   THAT YOUR FIGHT IS MINE   



    

                   

-   LIBERATION   

-   LIBERATION   



    

                   

-    IT'S TIME FOR LIBERATION   

-    RIGHT NOW   



    

                   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

 

   LIBERATION

  IT'S TIME FOR LIBERATION  



    

                   

   WE'RE SERVING NOTICE

  THAT WE WON'T BE DENIED   



    

                   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

   WE ARE THE WINNERS

  LOSERS MUST STEP ASIDE   



    

                   

   LIBERATION   



    

                   

   WE HAVE A JOB THAT

  SIMPLY HAS TO GET DONE   



    

                   

   WE'RE GETTING STRONGER

  YET WE'VE ONLY BEGUN   



    

                   

   LIBERATION, LIBERATION   



    

                   

   IT'S TIME FOR LIBERATION   



    

                   

   WE GOT TO HAVE LIBERATION

  YEAH   



    

                   

  

   IT'S TIME FOR LIBERATION



    

                   

   GOT TO STAND TALL

  FOR LIBERATION   



    

                   

   LIBERATION

  IT'S TIME FOR LIBERATION   



    

                   

   WE NEED SOME LIBERATION   



    

                   

  

   IT'S TIME FOR LIBERATION



    

                   

   LIBERATION     



    

                   

UH, FANTASTIC.

THE BEST YET.



    

                   

THOSE GUYS CAN, UH, SING.



    

                   

HOW ABOUT THOSE BOYS ?

NOW HAVE I STRUCK GOLD

OR HAVE I STRUCK GOLD ?



    

                   

I'M AFRAID

YOU STRUCK OUT.



    

                   

WHAT ?

I'M SORRY.

 I'M JUST NOT INTERESTED.



    

                   

HEY, DON'T BE AN IDIOT !

THEY WERE WONDERFUL !

LISTEN.  JUST LISTEN TO ME.



    

                   

I MADE A FORTUNE

IN THIS BUSINESS

USING MY INTUITION,



    

                   

AND MY INTUITION TELLS ME,

"DO NOT GET INVOLVED."



    

                   

I'M SORRY.



    

                   

JUST STAY VERY COOL,

CALM AND COLLECTED.



    

                   

I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE

OF TAKING CARE OF THIS.



    

                   

IT WASN'T THAT BAD, WAS IT ?

I CAN'T BELIEVE

HOW NEGATIVE HE IS.



    

                   

SO THEY MADE A FEW MISTAKES.

THEY WERE GREAT !



    

                   

AND YOU WERE FABULOUS.

YEAH ?



    

                   

HOLD ON, GUYS.



    

                   

DID IT AGAIN.

GOT MYSELF A NEW GROUP,

AND CHEAP.



    

                   

WHAT IN THE HELL

IS THE MATTER WITH YOU ?



    

                   

VILLAGE PEOPLE IS BETTER

THAN ANY GROUP YOU'VE GOT.



    

                   

I'M SORRY, SAMANTHA, REALLY.



    

                   

I KNOW THAT YOU PUT

A LOT OF TIME AND MONEY

INTO THIS GROUP,



    

                   

AND YOU DON'T HAVE ANY

EXTRA MONEY COMING IN,



    

                   

BUT THEY'VE GOT A VERY LITTLE

SOMETHING TO OFFER, VERY LITTLE,



    

                   

TO A VERY SMALL AUDIENCE.



    

                   

NOW I'LL SHOW YOU EXACTLY

HOW DISINTERESTED I AM.



    

                   

THAT'S IT.  THAT'S MY OFFER.

NOW, DON'T GET ALL EXCITED

AND THANK ME.



    

                   

WE MAY NOT BE LOVERS ANYMORE,

BUT WE'RE ALWAYS GONNA BE

GOOD, SOLID FRIENDS.



    

                   

ARE YOU MAD ?

THAT WOULDN'T FEED MY CAT !



    

                   

YOU DON'T HAVE A CAT.



    

                   

TAKE YOUR OFFER

AND STICK IT IN YOUR EAR !



    

                   

THEY'RE WORTH

A LOT MORE THAN THAT !



    

                   

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS

GIVE ME THIS SHIT ?



    

                   

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, SISTER.

THAT'S OKAY, KIDDO.



    

                   

LISTEN, SAM,

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY I'M LATE.



    

                   

I'M DOINGSOUND OF MUSIC

AT THE HARLEM ENSEMBLE.



    

                   

IS RAY IN THERE ?

MM-HMM.



    

                   

AND YOU'VE BEEN HANGING OUT

IN THE VILLAGE TOO LONG !



    

                   

I BELIEVE THESE ARE

THE GENTLEMEN.

[ Laughing ]



    

                   

HI, GUYS.

HI.



    

                   

TERRIFIC.  OUR LUCK

HITS ROCK BOTTOM, AND

YOU BOYS HIT THE BOTTLE.



    

                   

COME ON, PLEASE.

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.



    

                   

TAKE A LOAD OFF YOUR FEET.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SANGRIA ?



    

                   

SURE.  ARE YOU TWO GUYS

CELEBRATING SOMETHING ?



    

                   

COME ON, JACK, TELL 'EM.



    

                   

WELL, YOU GUYS

REMEMBER BENNY MURRAY,

WHO RAN THE SADDLE TRAMPS ?



    

                   

SURE.

WHOEVER COULD FORGET

BENNY THE LETCH ?



    

                   

WE RAN INTO HIM

THIS MORNING.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING ?



    

                   

CRUISING DOWN

TIMES SQUARE ?



    

                   

REAL FUNNY.  COME ON,

WOULD YOU LISTEN ?



    

                   

OKAY, SORRY.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.



    

                   

HE SOLD SADDLE TRAMPS,

AND HE'S GOING INTO

THE PARTY BUSINESS.



    

                   

AS IN TUPPERWARE ?

PLEASE !



    

                   

WOULD YOU BE SERIOUS ?



    

                   

COME ON.

YOU TAKE OVER A PLACE--

BUILDING, LOFT, ANYTHING--



    

                   

YOU GIVE THE PARTY

A THEME.

PUT IN A LIGHT SHOW,



    

                   

GET A REALLY HOT DEEJAY,

LINE UP A COUPLE ACTS,

AND VOILA !



    

                   

     PEOPLE

AT    BUCKS A HEAD,



    

                   

PLUS WHAT YOU MAKE

AT THE BAR.



    

                   

YOU GUYS ARE

REALLY ON A ROLL.



    

                   

WOULD YOU BOYS PLEASE

CALM DOWN AND SIT DOWN ?



    

                   

SAM, WE'VE GOT TO HAVE

OUR OWN PAY PARTY.



    

                   

IT'S THE PERFECT WAY

TO INTRODUCE THE GUYS.



    

                   

YOU CAN GET ALL THE PRESS

AND THE OPINION-MAKERS

THERE.



    

                   

IT'LL BE INSTANT STARDOM !



    

                   

DO YOU WINOS HAVE ANY IDEA

WHAT THAT WILL COST ?



    

                   

DO YOU KNOW

WHAT THE PROFITS COULD BE ?



    

                   

"     PEOPLE,

    BUCKS A HEAD,

 PLUS WHAT YOU MAKE AT THE BAR."



    

                   

THIS IS GOING

TO TURN STEVE WAITS

INTO A BASK_T CASE.



    

                   

HOWEVER, I'M NOT SPENDING

ANY OF MY SAVINGS.

OH, NO, NO.



    

                   

I THINK IT'S TIME I MAKE

MY FAREWELL APPEARANCE.



    

                   

HELLO, SYDNE ?

THIS IS SAMANTHA.

SHH !



    

                   

HANG ON TO YOUR   X   s.



    

                   

I'VE DECIDED TO POUR MILK

FOR THAT COMMERCIAL

YOU WANTED ME TO DO,



    

                   

AND I HAVE

A WONDERFUL NEW GROUP

TO APPEAR WITH ME.



    

                   

OH, YES,

WE COME AS A PACKAGE.



    

                   

I THINK WE'RE

ABOUT TO MAKE A DEAL.



    

                   

HEY !

HEY !



    

                   

I REALLY THINK THAT--

MY DARLING,

YOU MUST REMEMBER.



    

                   

WE ARE DEALING

WITH A MODEL OF

THE FIRST MAGNITUDE.



    

                   

I NOW THAT SHE'S GREAT--

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

FOR MY AGENCY...



    

                   

AND HER NEW IMAGE

FOR THE '  s.



    

                   

YOU KNOW, SYDNE,

I'VE ALREADY DONE THREE

COMMERCIALS WITH THIS LADY.



    

                   

GOOD !

YOU'VE HAD PRACTICE.

NOW MAKE PERFECT.



    

                   

LULU, GET OUT OF THERE !



    

                   

MILK COMMERCIAL INTRO,

TAKE TWO.



    

                   

[ Man ]

ACTION !



    

                   

CHILDREN !



    

                   

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, CHILDREN.



    

                   

IF YOU WANNA GROW UP

TO BE BIG AND STRONG

AND SING AND DANCE,



    

                   

YOU'VE GOTTA

DRINK YOUR MILK.



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE MILK SHAKE

  THE MILK SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   WHEN THEY COME HOME

  FROM SCHOOL   



    

                   

   ALL RIGHT   



    

                   

   AND THEY WANT SOMETHING

  THAT'S COLD TO DRINK   



    

                   

   COLD TO DRINK   



    

                   

   VITALITY THEY NEED   



    

                   

   THEY ALSO WANT SOMETHING

  GOOD  AND SWEET   

   GOOD AND SWEET   



    

                   

  

   JUST GET A GLASS OF MILK



    

                   

   YOU'LL SEE IT'S NOT

  VERY HARD TO MAKE   



    

                   

  

   NOT VERY HARD TO MAKE   

   ADD SOME ICE CREAM AND BLEND



    

                   

   YOU WILL HAVE YOURSELF

  A GREAT MILK SHAKE   

   A GREAT MILK SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE MILK SHAKE

  THE MILK SHAKE   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE MILK SHAKE

  THE MILK SHAKE   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   YEAH   

   WHEN YOU'RE AT WORK   



    

                   

   TODAY   

   ALL RIGHT   



    

                   

   AND THEN IT'S TIME

  FOR YOUR COFFEE BREAK   

   COFFEE BREAK   



    

                   

   WHY DON'T YOU TREAT

  YOURSELF   



    

                   

   TO A BIG, THICK

  AND FROSTY SHAKE   



    

                   

 

-    FROSTY SHAKE   

-    WHEN IT IS TIME FOR LUNCH  



    

                   

   A MILK SHAKE GOES

  WITH YOUR SANDWICH TOO   



    

                   

-    YEAH, YEAH, YEAH   

-   JUST HAVE YOURSELF A FIX   



    

                   

   SEE WHAT A MILK SHAKE

  CAN DO FOR YOU   



    

                   

   YEAH, YEAH, YEAH   



    

                   

   DO IT, ALL RIGHT   

   DO IT, DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   WHY DON'T YOU DO IT, YEAH   

   DO IT, DO IT

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE, Y'ALL, HEY   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE MILK SHAKE, HEY   

   DO IT, DO IT

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   JUST GET SOME ICE CREAM

  AND SOME MILK   



    

                   

   THEN BLEND YOURSELF

  A MILK SHAKE   

    DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   JUST DO THE SHAKE, Y'ALL

  HEY   



    

                   

   ON YOUR COFFEE BREAK NOW

  YEAH   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   JUST DO THE SHAKE

  DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE MILK SHAKE

  THE MILK SHAKE   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE MILK SHAKE

  THE MILK SHAKE   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   VANILLA   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   CHOCOLATE

  STRAWBERRY, YEAH, OW   



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE   

   JUST DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE MILK SHAKE

  THE MILK SHAKE   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

ONE MORE TIME.



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE MILK SHAKE

  THE MILK SHAKE   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE MILK SHAKE

  THE MILK SHAKE   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   VANILLA   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   CHOCOLATE

  STRAWBERRY, YEAH, OW   



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE   

   JUST DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE   



    

                   

   DO THE MILK SHAKE

  THE MILK SHAKE   

   DO THE SHAKE     



    

                   

[ Applause ]



    

                   

GREAT !  FANTASTIC !

[ Cheering ]



    

                   

MY SON IS

A TELEVISION GENIUS,

THAT'S WHAT HE IS.



    

                   

AND THAT HAS GOT

TO BE A GOLD SINGLE.



    

                   

PLUS A PLATINUM

DANCE CRAZE.



    

                   

   DO THE SHAKE

   DO THE SHAKE     



    

                   

- MA, IT'S ONLY A COMMERCIAL.

- AW, NOW, HONEY,



    

                   

DID GERSHWIN EVER WRITE

A HIT COMMERCIAL, HUH ?



    

                   

WELL,

HOW'D YOU LIKE IT ?



    

                   

I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE GOING

TO SHOW SO MUCH OF YOURSELF

ON TELEVISION.



    

                   

OH, SAM, THAT IS THE MOST

GLAMOROUS AND SEXY

COMMERCIAL I HAVE EVER SEEN.



    

                   

AW, LULU.



    

                   

LULU, WILL YOU

TAKE THIS AWAY ?

I DO NOT DO MANUAL LABOR.



    

                   

DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING ?

YOU ARE SO UPTIGHT...



    

                   

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW

A GREAT CAREER MOVE

WHEN YOU SEE ONE.



    

                   

IF THAT DOESN'T SELL MILK,

NOTHING WILL.



    

                   

AS A MATTER OF FACT, SAMANTHA,

I'M HAVING A BIT OF A PROBLEM

WITH THE ADVERTISING AGENCY.



    

                   

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?



    

                   

DESPITE THE FACT

THAT I THINK

IT'S FABULOUS,



    

                   

THE CLIENT

NEEDS MORE TIME

TO THINK IT OVER.



    

                   

THINK WHAT OVER ?



    

                   

THE HIGHER ECHELON

OF MADISON AVENUE...



    

                   

FEELS THAT IT MAY BE

TOO CONTROVERSIAL...



    

                   

FOR THE AMERICAN

FAMILY IMAGE.



    

                   

CORPORATE THINKING SUCKS.

MOTHER !



    

                   

I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY CHIC

AND TASTEFUL.



    

                   

TWO QUALITIES OFTEN

IGNORED BY TELEVISION.



    

                   

WELL, THIS MEANS

NO RESIDUALS FOR A WHILE.



    

                   

RESIDUALS ?  DOES THAT

HAVE SOMETHING TO DO

WITH MONEY ?



    

                   

HMM.

UH, YEAH,

WE NEED IT NOW.



    

                   

WELL, YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY

BE OVERDRAWN AT THE BANK.



    

                   

[ Laughing ]

COULD YOU, DEAR ?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.



    

                   

WE WERE GOING TO USE

THE RESIDUAL PAYMENTS

FROM THE COMMERCIAL...



    

                   

TO PUT ON A PAY PARTY

TO INTRODUCE

THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.



    

                   

[ Sydne ]

PAY TO GO TO A PARTY ?



    

                   

HOW GAUCHE !



    

                   

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY.

MY BRIDGE CLUB

WILL THROW THE PARTY.



    

                   

WE'LL USE THE ELKS LODGE.

WHY, IT'LL BE BIGGER

THAN BINGO NIGHT.



    

                   

MOM, THAT'S WONDERFUL,

BUT, SEE, WE WERE THINKING

OF SOMETHING SPECTACULAR.



    

                   

UH-OH.  YOU NEED

THE BIG BUCKS, HUH ?

YEAH.



    

                   

WELL, MY GOODNESS,

A PARTY IS A PARTY.

IT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.



    

                   

NORMA, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT

SOMETHING FOR AROUND

     PEOPLE...



    

                   

WITH LIGHTS

AND COSTUMES.



    

                   

I MEAN,

A REAL SHOW.



    

                   

WELL, I DID ONE FOR     

LAST MONTH IN--



    

                   

WHERE WAS IT ?

HOUSTON.



    

                   

YOU GAVE A PARTY

FOR      PEOPLE ?



    

                   

MM-HMM.

A CHARITY FUND-RAISER.

IT'S ONE OF MY HOBBIES.



    

                   

BUT, OF COURSE, WE DO

RAISE A LOT OF MONEY

FOR THE NEEDY.



    

                   

MRS. WHITE, WOULD YOU

CONSIDER US NEEDY ?



    

                   

AS A MATTER OF FACT,



    

                   

I AM IN CHARGE OF

A REALLY GRAND AFFAIR...



    

                   

NEXT MONTH IN SAN FRANCISCO

AT THE GALLERIA.



    

                   

NOW, WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE

FOR THE BOYS TO SING

A FEW SONGS ?



    

                   

A-- A FEW SONGS ?  HEY !



    

                   

WE WILL KNOCK 'EM OUT !



    

                   

I THINK I SHOULD GET

STEVE WAITS IN ON THIS.



    

                   

LET'S HAVE

SOME CHAMPAGNE !



    

                   

LULU,

PACK MY FALL WARDROBE.



    

                   

I ADORE SAN FRANCISCO.



    

                   

MY FAVORITE

EX-HUSBAND LIVES THERE.



    

                   

AND I AM DOWN

TO MY LAST PUCCI.



    

            _      

HAVE I GOT

A WHOLESALER FOR YOU !



    

                   

STEVE ?  HELLO, DARLING.

IT'S SAMANTHA.



    

                   

I, UH, THINK I HAVE

AN OFFER YOU CAN'T REFUSE.



    

                   

HOW ABOUT A LONG WEEKEND

IN SAN FRANCISCO ?



    

                   

UH-HUH.  WELL,

I'LL SEE YOU AT YOUR PLACE

IN ABOUT    MINUTES.



    

                   

I'LL GIVE YOU

ALL THE DETAILS.



    

                   

[ Laughs ]

BYE.



    

                   

I JUST SEALED OUR FUTURE.

AND ENDED OURS.



    

                   

GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.



    

                   

STEP INTO MY OFFICE.



    

                   

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT

YOU CALLED STEVE WAITS...



    

                   

AND MADE AN ASSIGNATION

RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME !



    

                   

WHAT'S THAT ?

A DATE !



    

                   

WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO ?

I WOULDN'T DO SOMETHING

LIKE THAT BEHIND YOUR BACK.



    

                   

WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO,

SEDUCE HIM INTO A DEAL ?



    

                   

IS THAT ACTUALLY

WHAT YOU THINK OF ME ?



    

                   

I DON'T KNOW.  I--



    

                   

OH, REALLY ?



    

                   

WELL, UM, IF THAT'S THE CASE,



    

                   

I SUGGEST WE SEE EACH OTHER

ONLY ON A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

FROM NOW ON.



    

                   

AND I'LL SEE YOU

IN SAN FRANCISCO, MR. WHITE.



    

                   

ALL RIGHT, SO MAKE IT QUICK

BECAUSE SAMANTHA'S

GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE.



    

                   

HOW DID WE DO

IN CHICAGO ?



    

                   

OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.

UH-HUH.  UH-HUH.



    

                   

MM-HMM.  UH-HUH.



    

                   

OKAY, GOOD-BYE.



    

                   

CHARLIE, THE MINUTE

SHE GETS ON BOARD,



    

                   

SLAM THE DOOR AND

TAKE OFF, ALL RIGHT ?

[ Tires Screeching ]



    

                   

NEVER MIND.

[ Car Door Closes ]



    

                   

IS THAT YOU, SAM ?



    

                   

HI, MR. WAITS.  I'M SORRY.

SAM COULDN'T MAKE IT.

IT'S A LONG STORY.



    

                   

OH, MY GOD.

A REAL PRIVATE JET !



    

                   

SOMEDAY YOU'RE GONNA

HAVE ONE OF THESE, BABY.

A LITTLE BIGGER, I HOPE.



    

                   

AND I'LL TAKE CARE

OF THE DECOR MYSELF.

NOT SO BUSY.



    

                   

AND WHO'S THIS ?

OH, UH, MR. WAITS,

THIS IS MY MOTHER.



    

                   

HELEN MORELL.  AND YOU CAN

JUST THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS

THAT YOU KNOW MY SON.



    

                   

[ Engine Revving ]



    

                   

WILD BLUE YONDER !

HERE WE GO !



    

                   

GEE, THESE LOOK GOOD.



    

                   

DON'T TOUCH THAT, JACKIE.

IT'LL GIVE YOU THE TROTS.



    

                   

WHEW !  CAN'T WE GET RID

OF THAT SMELLY THING ?



    

                   

I GOT ALL

YOUR FAVORITES HERE, BABY.



    

                   

I GOT CHICKEN SOUP

WITH MATZO BALLS.



    

                   

I GOT KREPLACH.

 I GOT STUFFED CABBAGE.

SHE'S NOT EVEN JEWISH.



    

                   

WELL, WHEN IT COMES TO EATING,

ALL MOTHERS ARE JEWISH.



    

                   

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE !

I AM BEING HIJACKED

IN MY OWN AIRPLANE !



    

                   

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ?

I AM THE PRESIDENT OF

A MAJOR RECORD COMPANY.



    

                   

IS IT REALLY KREPLACH

IN THERE ?

I GOT EVERYTHING.



    

                   

YOU SEE, SIR,

_Y FATHER IS JEWISH,



    

                   

BUT MY MOM,

SHE'S ITALIAN-CATHOLIC.



    

                   

SO, WE GOT

ALL THE BASES COVERED.



    

                   

SPEAKING OF BASEBALL,

WHILE THE OTHER KIDS WERE

FOLLOWING THE BASEBALL SCORES,



    

                   

I WAS FOLLOWING THE POP CHARTS.

YOU CAN ASK ME ANY--



    

                   

I THINK I'VE HEARD THAT BEFORE.

WHY DON'T YOU SAVE THAT FOR

THE LINER NOTES ON THE ALBUM ?



    

                   

ALBUM ?  WE'RE GETTING

AN ALBUM DEAL ?



    

                   

NO !  I DID NOT SAY THAT.



    

                   

I WORKED FOR DAVID MERRICK

ON BROADWAY.



    

                   

I KNOW ABOUT CONTRACTS.



    

                   

I THINK WE'RE GONNA

HAVE TO INSIST ON   %

OF THE FIRST    % NET PROFITS.



    

                   

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

FIRST OF ALL, I HAVE NOT

SEEN THIS GROUP EVEN PERFORM.



    

                   

OH, LET ME TELL YOU !



    

                   

AFTER THIS CONCERT,

PEOPLE WILL BE STANDING

ON THEIR HEADS TO BID.



    

                   

NOBODY IN THIS WORLD IS GONNA

GIVE YOU ANY MORE THAN  %

OF  % OF    % OF THE PROFITS.



    

                   

HOW ABOUT NINE PERCENT ?



    

                   

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

NO MORE THAN SEVEN.



    

                   

EIGHT PERCENT ?

YOU'RE ROBBING ME.



    

                   

OH, USE YOUR NAPKIN !

I'M SORRY.



    

                   

[ Whispering ]

WHAT ABOUT THE MERCHANDISING ?



    

                   

NOT SO FAST !

AH, YES, THE MERCHANDISING.



    

                   

NOW, I THINK THAT WE WILL

HAVE TO ASK FOR THE T-SHIRTS.



    

                   

I FEEL LIKE I'M SITTING

ON MY OWN PLANE WITH

MA BARKER AND HER KID !



    

                   

ALL RIGHT, YOU WANNA FIGHT ?

YOU GET THE T-SHIRTS,



    

                   

I GET THE LUNCH PAILS

AND THE LOOK-ALIKE DOLLS.



    

                   

YOU CAN HAVE

THE T-SHIRTS IN JAPAN.



    

                   

WE WILL TAKE THE LUNCH PAILS

WORLDWIDE.



    

                   

BACK UP A MINUTE

AND GO ALL THE WAY

BACK TO THE BEGINNING.



    

                   

NOW, WHICH ONE

IS THE KREPLACH ?



    

                   

I SEE YOU.



    

                   

BUBBE,



    

                   

THE FIRST TIME

I PLAYED SAN FRANCISCO,

I CAME IN ON A BUS.



    

                   

AND HERE I AM COMING BACK

WITH MY SUCCESSFUL SON

ON A PRIVATE JET.



    

                   

OH, LOOK, MA,

LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL.



    

                   

OH, OH, JACKIE, IT IS TRUE.

THERE IS MAGIC IN THE WORLD.



    

                   

    



    

                   

[ Audience Cheering ]



    

                   

[ Announcer ]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE RITCHIE FAMILY !



    

                   

   I'M TRAVELING THROUGH

  THIS GAME CALLED LIFE   



    

                   

   IT'S A TOUGH GAME TO PLAY   



    

                   

   SOMETIMES

  I THINK IT'S ROUGH   



    

                   

   NOW THAT I GOT

  THE FINAL OKAY   



    

                   

   YOU'RE TRYING SO HARD

  TO TAKE IT ALL AWAY   



    

                   

   I GOT MY EDUCATION

   I GOT DETERMINATION   



    

                   

 

   I GOT IMAGINATION

  COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK  



    

                   

   I GOT MY EDUCATION

   I GOT DETERMINATION   



    

                   

 

   I GOT IMAGINATION

  COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK  



    

                   

   WELL, I STARTED OUT MY LIFE

  TRYIN' TO FIND A BETTER WAY   



    

                   

   TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD

  FROM DAY TO DAY   



    

                   

   NOW, PEOPLE

  DON'T YOU KNOW   



    

                   

   DON'T YOU KNOW   



    

                   

   FOLKS ALWAYS SAY YOU GOTT

A   REAP JUST WHAT YOU SOW   



    

                   

   I GOT MY EDUCATION

   I GOT DETERMINATION   



    

                   

 

   I GOT IMAGINATION

  COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK  



    

                   

   I GOT MY EDUCATION

   I GOT DETERMINATION   



    

                   

 

   I GOT IMAGINATION

  COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK  



    

                   

   GIVE IT UP   



    

                   

   COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK 

  

   OH, WON'T YOU GIVE ME   



    

                   

   COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK   

   WON'T YOU GIVE ME A BREAK   



    

                   

   COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK 

  

   I DESERVE A CHANCE   



    

                   

   COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK   

   WON'T YOU GIVE ME A BREAK   



    

                   

   I DESERVE A BETTER CHANCE   



    

                   

 

   I'M A WOMAN

  I WANT TO SHOW THE WORLD  



    

                   

 

   WON'T YOU GIVE ME A BREAK    



    

                   

NO, NO, NO.

SAMANTHA SIMPSON.

IS SHE THERE ?



    

                   

NO ?  THANK YOU.



    

                   

SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE

AN HOUR AGO.



    

                   

WELL, WHERE ARE

THE COSTUMES ?

GOOD QUESTION.



    

                   

THAT AIRLINE SAID

THEY'D GET 'EM HERE

AS SOON AS THEY FOUND 'EM.



    

                   

GUESS WE'LL BE MAKING

OUR BIG DEBUT IN THE BUFF.

YEAH, LOOKS LIKE IT.



    

                   

LISTEN TO THE BEAT, BOYS !

THIS IS SAN FRANCISCO !



    

                   

THEY'RE GONNA LOVE IT !

COME ON, LIGHTEN UP !



    

                   

VOCALIZE !

COME ON !  HOP TO !



    

                   

THE AIRLINE CAME THROUGH

WITH OUR COSTUMES !

YEE-HA !



    

                   

PARTY POOPER !

HEY, IS SAM HERE YET ?



    

                   

I HAVE NOT SEEN

HIDE NOR HAIR OF HER.

I DON'T TRUST STEVE WAITS.



    

                   

THEY COULD'VE FLOWN OFF

TO ACAPULCO BY NOW !

ACAPULCO ?



    

                   

OH, WITH STEVE,

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

HEY, HELP ME WITH THIS.



    

                   

AND ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE,

I CAN'T FIND JACK.



    

                   

I'LL GET THAT.

I'M GONNA GO CHECK OUT

OUR SOUND SYSTEM.



    

                   

YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE

THIS CROWD.



    

                   

SAN FRANCISCO HIGH LIFE IS

ONE OF THE KINKIEST THINGS

I EVER SAW.



    

                   

OOH !

[ Laughing ]



    

                   

DO YOU REALIZE THE BIGGEST CROWD

WE'VE EVER PLAYED TO

WAS IN SAM'S BACKYARD ?



    

                   

YEAH.  HOW WE GONNA FACE

ALL THOSE PEOPLE OUT THERE ?



    

                   

IT'S TOO LATE

TO TURN BACK NOW, FELLAS.



    

                   

OH, GOD.

LEATHER MEN

DON'T GET NERVOUS !



    

                   

LEATHER MEN

DON'T GET NERVOUS.

OH, YES, THEY DO.



    

                   

YES, THEY DO.

COME ON, GUYS.

LET'S GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD.



    

                   

KNOCK, KNOCK !

OH, HELLO THERE, NORMA !

HOW ARE YOU ?



    

                   

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET

THE WOMEN FROM MY COMMITTEE.



    

                   

MRS. WILLIAMS

AND MRS. SLATKIN,

LULU BRECHT.



    

                   

HELLO.

NICE TO MEET YOU.



    

                   

HI.

AND THESE-- THESE ARE

THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.



    

                   

HELLO.

HI.

HI, NORMA.



    

                   

DON'T MIND US.

WE UNDERSTAND

SHOW FOLK HERE.



    

                   

OH, I KNEW THEY WOULD

LOVE US IN FRISCO.



    

                   

PLEASE, MY DEAR,

NEVER "FRISCO."

"SAN FRANCISCO."



    

                   

PARDONMOI.

THIS IS JUST TOO EXCITING.



    

                   

I'VE NEVER SEEN

SUCH A HUGE TURNOUT.



    

                   

AND SO BIZARRE, CHIC.

THOSE GIRL SINGERS

WERE MARVELOUS.



    

                   

OH, I WANT YOU TO MEET

SOME OF THE WOMEN WHO HELPED

MAKE ALL OF THIS POSSIBLE.



    

                   

YOU'VE DONE A WONDERFUL JOB.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.



    

                   

AND I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE

VERY PROUD OF MY BOYS.



    

                   

YOUR BOYS ?



    

                   

I HAVE JUST BECOME

THE HONORARY PRESS AGENT

FOR THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.



    

                   

MAY I PRESENT

THE U.P., A.P.

CROSS YOUR FINGERS...



    

                   

WE GET CLAUDIA WALTERS

FOR  /  OR WHATEVER

THAT SHOW IS CALLED.



    

                   

NORMA, PERHAPS YOU WOULD BE

KIND ENOUGH TO LINE UP MY BOYS

FOR A PICTURE WITH THESE LADIES.



    

                   

GENTLEMEN,

START SNAPPING AWAY.



    

                   

WE MADE IT !

 WE MADE IT !



    

                   

WHAT'S THAT ?

SIGNED CONTRACTS

WITH MARRAKECH RECORDS !



    

                   

[ Cheering ]

HELLO, PRIME TIME !



    

                   

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT !

BELIEVE IT.

 BELIEVE IT.



    

                   

I APPROVED THEM

MYSELF.



    

                   

OH, LADIES, I'LL MEET YOU

AT THE HOSPITALITY SUITE

IN FIVE MINUTES.



    

                   

OH, ALICIA, DEAR,

WOULD YOU BE AN ANGEL

AND TAKE THEM OVER THERE ?



    

                   

MY PLEASURE.  LADIES,

WILL YOU FOLLOW ME ?



    

                   

BYE.

GOOD-BYE.



    

                   

BEST BEHAVIOR, BOYS.

THIS IS CLAUDIA WALTERS.

SHE'S SYNDICATED.



    

                   

EXCUSE ME, BUT

I HAVE NO COMMENT

AT THIS TIME NOW.



    

                   

WELL, THAT'S PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT

BECAUSE I'M HERE TO INTERVIEW

THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.



    

                   

WELL, THEY'RE MY NEW ACT,

AND I'VE JUST SIGNED THEM,



    

                   

COMPLIMENTS

OF MARRAKECH RECORDS.



    

                   

MY SON INVENTED

THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.



    

                   

OH, YEAH.

AND HE WRITES ALL THEIR MUSIC.



    

                   

AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE,

MAYBE WE OUGHT TO GET

SOMETHING ON HIM ON FILM.



    

                   

GOOD THINKING.

MR. WAITS ?



    

                   

YEAH ?

YOU'VE BEEN VERY SUCCESSFUL

WITH YOUR GROUPS IN THE PAST.



    

                   

I WOULD LIKE

A LITTLE MORE INFORMATION

ON YOUR PERSONAL INVOLVEMENT.



    

                   

WELL, I GET VERY, UH,

HIGHLY CREATIVELY INVOLVED.



    

                   

I GET VERY INVOLVED

PERSONALLY...



    

                   

WITH EVERY MEMBER

OF THE COMPANY.



    

                   

EXCUSE ME.

IT JUST HAPPENS

TO LOOK BETTER THAT WAY.



    

                   

[ Sighs ]

BUT FRANKLY,

BETWEEN YOU AND ME,



    

                   

IT GETS... LONELY.



    

                   

VERY LONELY

SOMETIMES.



    

         --_         

I WONDER IF THERE'S

A QUIETER PLACE

YOU AND I CAN TALK.



    

                   

I THINK THAT COULD BE ARRANGED.

AARON ?



    

                   

YES ?

I'M GOING TO BE BACK

IN A MOMENT.



    

                   

WILL YOU SPEAK

WITH THE BOYS FOR ME ?

SURE.



    

                   

THANK YOU.



    

                   

SAM, LOOKS LIKE

WE'RE ALL IN BUSINESS.



    

                   

OH !



    

                   

WHY DON'T YOU GUYS TELL US

HOW YOU GOT STARTED ?



    

                   

SAM !



    

                   

SAM !

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED !



    

                   

SIGNED CONTRACTS

WITH MARRAKECH RECORDS !



    

                   

SIGNED, SEALED

AND DELIVERED !



    

                   

IT'S RIGHT HERE.

HEY, SAM !

GOOD NEWS !



    

                   

SAM, BABY !

HOW WAS ACAPULCO ?



    

                   

HI !  I CAN'T BELIEVE IT !

OH, SAM !



    

                   

SAM, LOOK,

WE'VE GOT TWO ALBUMS

AND THEY'RE GUARANTEED !



    

                   

EXCUSE ME.

AS SENIOR PARTNER

OF THE LAW FIRM...



    

                   

THAT REPRESENTS

VILLAGE PEOPLE,



    

                   

THERE ARE A NUMBER OF POINTS

THAT HAVE TO BE CLARIFIED.



    

                   

UH, WELCOME BACK

TO THE FIRM, RON,



    

                   

AS A, UH, JUNIOR PARTNER.



    

                   

RON !



    

                   

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH,

MR. MONTGOMERY.



    

                   

MR. MONTGOMERY ?

I'M THE ONE THAT

WENT TO RICHARD...



    

                   

TO GET HIM TO GO

 TO THE MILK COUNCIL...



    

                   

TO GET THE COMMERCIAL

ON TELEVISION.



    

                   

WHAT ABOUT ACAPULCO ?

WHAT ARE YOU

TALKING ABOUT ?



    

                   

OH, SAM, YOU WERE SO LATE,

WE THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D

FLOWN OFF TO ACAPULCO...



    

                   

AND GOTTEN MARRIED

OR SOMETHING.



    

                   

LULU !  MARRIED ?

I'M SORRY.



    

                   

I MEAN, I WANT THIS GROUP

TO BE LAUNCHED

AS MUCH AS ANYBODY.



    

                   

I'D DO ANYTHING FOR 'EM,

BUT TO RUN OFF TO ACAPULCO

AND GET MARRIED ?  I'M NOT--



    

                   

WHAT DO YOU THINK--



    

                   

OH, SAM.



    

                   

WHAT ABOUT

A SAN FRANCISCO WEDDING ?



    

                   

SOMETHING SIMPLE, LIKE, UH,

ON THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.



    

                   

IS THIS A PROPOSAL

OR AN APOLOGY ?



    

                   

NAH, IT'S

A PUBLICITY STUNT.



    

                   

OF COURSE !

IT'S A PROPOSAL.



    

                   

AND I ALSO WANT TO APOLOGIZE

FOR THE THINGS I SAID

AT SYDNE'S OFFICE.



    

                   

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.



    

                   

SAY YES.



    

                   

KISS ME.



    

                   

THEY MUST GET MARRIED

IN CALIFORNIA.



    

                   

THEY'VE GOT THAT MARVELOUS

COMMUNITY PROPERTY HERE.



    

                   

OH, OH !

I'VE GOT A SHOW TO PUT ON !



    

                   

COME ON, COME ON !  I'M GONNA

NEED EVERYBODY'S HELP !

EVERYBODY !  COME ON !



    

                   

COME ON, FOLLOW ME, EVERYBODY.

FOLLOW ME !  COME ON !



    

                   

GOOD LUCK.

 GOOD LUCK, FELIPE, DEAR.



    

                   

LULU, THIS IS

HIGHLY DISORGANIZED !



    

                   

SYDNE, SHUT YOUR MOUTH.



    

                   

I AM NOW THE NUMBER-ONE_ROADIE

FOR THE VILLAGE PEOPLE,



    

                   

AND I WILL HAVE THEM

DRESSED AND READY TO GO ON.



    

                   

- GO, GIRL !

-AMEN !



    

                   

LULU, WHOEVER GETS YOU

DESERVES YOU.



    

                   

I CAN'T BELIEVE

IT'S FINALLY HERE:



    

                   

MAKE-IT-OR-BREAK-IT TIME.



    

                   

I MEAN, WHAT IF IT

REALLY DOESN'T WORK ?



    

                   

WHAT IF IT REALLY,

REALLY DOESN'T WORK ?



    

                   

HEY, EVERYTHING'S

GONNA WORK OUT

JUST PERFECTLY.



    

                   

THIS IS THE MOMENT YOU'VE

WORKED FOR.  ENJOY IT.



    

                   

TONIGHT BELONGS TO YOU

AND THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.



    

                   

[ Crowd Cheering, Whistling ]



    

                   

WELL, GUYS, THIS IS IT.



    

                   

YEAH.

LET'S DO IT.



    

                   

    



    

                   

WE'RE A GROUP.



    

                   

[ Felipe ]

GERONIMO.



    

                   

[ Siren Wailing ]



    

                   

[ Engine Revving ]



    

                   

   EVERYONE YOU MEET

  THE CHILDREN IN THE STREET   



    

                   

   ARE SWAYIN' TO THE RHYTHM   



    

                   

   THERE'S SOMETHIN'

  MOVIN' IN THEM   



    

                   

   THERE'S NO PLACE TO HIDE

  SO WHY EVEN TRY   



    

                   

   CAN'T YOU HEAR IT

  COMING YOUR WAY

  IT'S HERE TO STAY   



    

                   

   MUSIC IN OUR WALK

   MUSIC WHEN WE TALK   



    

                   

   IT'S REALLY SOMETHING MAGIC

  TO LOSE IT WOULD BE TRAGIC   



    

                   

   CAN'T YOU FEEL THE SOUND

  MOVIN' THROUGH THE GROUND   



    

                   

   MUSIC MAKES THE WORLD

  GO AROUND   



    

                   

  

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TAKE THE COLD FROM SNOW

  TELL THE TREES DON'T GROW   



    

                   

   TELL THE WIND DON'T BLOW

  'CAUSE IT'S EASIER   



    

                   

  

   NO, YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TAKE THE SPARK FROM LOVE

  MAKE THE RAIN FALL UP   



    

                   

   'CAUSE THAT'S EASIER TO DO   



    

                   

   MOVIN' WITH THE WIND

  SINCE THE WORLD BEGAN   



    

                   

   THE BEAT IS GONNA GET YA

  BEAT IS GONNA GET YA   



    

                   

   MUSIC FOR THE BLUES

  FOR YOUR DANCIN' SHOES   



    

                   

   THERE'S MUSIC IN THE WAY THAT

  WE KISS, YOU CAN'T RESIST   



    

                   

   MOVIN' THROUGH THE TREES

  BUZZIN' WITH THE BEES   



    

                   

   THE SOUND IS GETTIN' LOUDER

  SOUND IS GETTIN' LOUDER   



    

                   

   MUSIC WHEN WE PLAY

  WHEN WE KNEEL TO PRAY   



    

                   

 

   THERE'S MUSIC

  IN THE SOUND OF THE WIND  



    

                   

  

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TAKE THE HEAT FROM FLAME

  TRY NOT FEELING PAIN   



    

                   

   THOUGH YOU TRY IN VAIN

  IT'S MUCH EASIER   



    

                   

  

   NO, YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   CHANGE THE MASTER PLAN

  TAKE THE HOPE FROM MAN    



    

                   

   'CAUSE THAT'S EASIER TO DO   



    

                   

   ON THE RADIO

   ON EVERY TV SHOW   



    

                   

   FOR EACH AND EVERY REASON

  EACH AND EVERY SEASON   



    

                   

   MUSIC WHEN WE LOVE

  FOR THE MOON ABOVE   



    

                   

   MUSIC FOR THE SHOW

  OF LIFE THAT NEVER ENDS   



    

                   

   MUSIC ON A PLANE

   MUSIC ON A TRAIN   



    

                   

   SAILING ON THE OCEAN

  MUSIC IN THE MOTION   



    

                   

   MUSIC IN YOUR CAR

  AT YOUR LOCAL BAR   



    

                   

   THERE'S MUSIC

  WHEN YOU LOOK AT A STAR   



    

                   

  

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   KEEP TWO LOVES APART

  MEND A BROKEN HEART   



    

                   

   CATCH A FALLIN' STAR

  THAT'S MUCH EASIER   



    

                   

  

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TELL THE SUN DON'T SHINE

  STOP OLD FATHER TIME   



    

                   

   'CAUSE THAT'S EASIER TO DO   



    

                   

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TAKE THE COLD FROM SNOW

  TELL THE TREES DON'T GROW   



    

                   

   TELL THE WIND DON'T BLOW

  'CAUSE IT'S EASIER   



    

                   

  

   NO, YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TAKE THE SPARK FROM LOVE

  MAKE THE RAIN FALL UP   



    

                   

   'CAUSE THAT'S EASIER TO DO   



    

                   

  

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   KEEP TWO LOVES APART

  MEND A BROKEN HEART   



    

                   

   CATCH A FALLIN' STAR

  IT'S MUCH EASIER   



    

                   

  

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TELL THE SUN DON'T SHINE

  STOP OLD FATHER TIME   



    

                   

   'CAUSE THAT'S EASIER TO DO   



    

                   

  

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TAKE THE COLD FROM SNOW

  TELL THE TREES DON'T GROW   



    

                   

   TELL THE WIND DON'T BLOW

  'CAUSE IT'S EASIER   



    

                   

  

   NO, YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TAKE THE SPARK FROM LOVE

  MAKE THE RAIN FALL UP   



    

                   

   'CAUSE THAT'S EASIER TO DO   



    

                   

  

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   KEEP TWO LOVES APART

  MEND A BROKEN HEART   



    

                   

   CATCH A FALLIN' STAR

  IT'S MUCH EASIER   



    

                   

  

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TELL THE SUN DON'T SHINE

  STOP OLD FATHER TIME   



    

                   

   'CAUSE THAT'S EASIER TO DO   



    

                   

  

   YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TAKE THE COLD FROM SNOW

  TELL THE TREES DON'T GROW   



    

                   

   TELL THE WIND DON'T BLOW

  'CAUSE IT'S EASIER   



    

                   

  

   NO, YOU CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC



    

                   

   NOBODY CAN STOP THE MUSIC   



    

                   

   TAKE THE SPARK FROM LOVE

  MAKE THE RAIN FALL UP   



    

                   

  

   'CAUSE THAT'S EASIER TO DO   











  

 
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