Voila! Finally, the Cellular
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Chris Evans and
Jessica Biel. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Cellular. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
But we don't have a fishtank.
- We could get one.
- Oh, mister.
Mom, will you still be a science teacher
when I get into high school?
Hmm...
you never know.
Why?
'Cause I think it'd be kind of weird to
have your mom as a teacher.
Ah!
I don't. I don't think so.
I think...
it might be
kind of neat.
Why?
Because then I'd get to hug and kiss you
anytime I wanted to.
Mom, that is gross.
Get out of here.
You have soccer, : .
I'll pick you up.
Okay, Mom.
Mom!
Morning, Rosario.
- Buenos dias, Miss Jessica.
- Como esta?
Ay, bien, bien.
Miss Jessica, you had a phone call when
you were in the shower.
I think they left you
a message.
Okay.
Don't move!
Don't touch that alarm!
Search the house.
Put her in the van.
- What are you doing?
- Shut up.
I'm videotaping hot chicks
walking in their bikinis.
Man, this is the greatest
cell phone ever made.
It is, I'm not kidding.
Hey, I draw you.
I draw you, $ .
- No, no, no, no tengo dinero, gracias.
- Let me get the phone.
Hold on a second. I'm e-mailing this
video to my computer.
It's gonna be
my new screen-saver.
- Here you go.
- It's Chloe.
No, dude, don't do this.
Don't do this.
- I'm just gonna say hi.
- You're not gonna say hi.
- No hi? I can't say hi?
- No hi. Come on, man.
Hold it together. This girl... she dumped
you, all right?
Have some self-respect.
Have some dignity.
- You're right.
- Be strong.
- You're right, thank you.
- Yeah, all right.
Oh, what's
going on, ladies?
What... what are you...
bro?
Like I'm talking to myself.
Chloe!
- Hey!
- Ryan.
- Hello, Chad.
- Chloe.
- Sam.
- Hey.
Friend with nipples.
Hey, so I called you
the other night.
I know, Tara told me.
Why didn't you
call me back?
Let's chat over here.
- Okay.
- Good luck, man.
Okay, Ryan, I really want you
to hear this, okay?
We're not
getting back together.
What, you mean
like today?
'Cause that's fine.
I have time.
This is just some
big joke to you, isn't it?
No, it's not,
it's not.
Yes, yes,
you know, see...
this is exactly why I broke up with you
in the first place.
You are irresponsible,
self-centered,
completely childish.
And, look,
I need to move on.
All right, okay, wait, wait, wait.
I know I used to be that way.
I used to be all those
things, but not anymore.
I'm serious, Chloe,
ever since you dumped me,
I've been thinking
about my life...
and I've changed.
- Sure you have.
- I have.
I came down here
to volunteer.
For what?
For what... for the...
the "Heal The Day."
Watch your back.
"Heal the bay?"
Yes, that's what I said.
That's bullshit.
Give me something... give me something
to do. I'll prove it to you.
Okay then,
Here. These flyers need to be handed
out before the concert tonight.
- Okay.
- Chloe, he can get the t-shirts.
Right... there're four boxes
of T-shirts
that need to be picked up
from the Office Depot.
Okay, that's not
a problem.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Shit!
I'm just a big fan of, you know...
elastic. I think it's awesome.
Ah, dude,
that sucks.
No, that sucks more.
I'm not doing this.
- Please, Chad. It'll take minutes.
- No! Dude, no.
You get to hang out with her friend with
the nipples. I think she liked you.
You're a god,
thank you.
It's awesome.
See you later, man.
Ah, so it's chilly
out here, huh?
No, not really.
I beg to differ.
Hello? Hello?
If you'd like to make a call...
- Shit!
# My baby loves me #
# And I'm running away #
# Running away #
# I've been
thinking lately #
# About the things
I've done so wrong... #
Hello, gorgeous.
See, this is exactly why I broke up
with you in the first place.
You are irresponsible,
completely childish...
Hello.
Hello, hello!
Hello, thank God!
Who is this? Chloe?
My name is Jessica Martin.
I need your help.
I've been kidnapped. I... I need you
to go to the police.
Kidnapped, huh?
This is for real.
I... I don't know where I am.
I... I'm locked up
in an attic somewhere.
I... I think they're going
to kill me.
Nice kidnappers
to give you a phone.
They... they didn't give me
a phone, no.
Th... there was a...
Right, I think if you were in trouble,
you would've called the cops and not me.
Now, I got another
call, okay?
Please, just listen.
The phone I'm on
is shattered.
I've been clicking wires
together forever
trying to reach
someone, anyone.
Please,
just don't hang up.
I may not get anyone else.
Right, later.
- Hello?
- I have no idea what just happened.
One minute I'm talking
to nipples, next thing you know,
I'm wearing a whale costume
handing out flyers.
That sucks.
Sounds like she got you.
I mean, I'm not saying
it doesn't have its benefits.
Hey, you guys know that a blue whale's
got an -foot penis?
- Heal the bay.
- Really?
I gotta to go.
I'll see you later.
All right,
later, bud.
Can you hear me?
You're still there, huh?
You know, this has been really fun.
But now you're wasting
my minutes. I'm gonna go.
They're going to kill me.
You're my only hope.
Nice with the fake tears,
lady.
- What's your name?
- What?
Please, tell me your name.
Ryan.
Ryan...
I don't know who you are.
I don't know you at all.
But I can't believe
that you would be so selfish
that you wouldn't take
minutes out of your day
to hand your phone
to a police officer.
Just minutes.
Okay, minutes.
Hold on.
Hold on a second.
Shut up, okay?
Now listen to me.
I'm a cop and have been
for years.
So let's just cut the bullshit, pal,
because I've heard it all.
Now, I ordered the "Rain Shower"
with awapuhi.
Don't tell me jojoba is awapuhi.
I wasn't born yesterday.
So I'm gonna return the two cases and
you will refund my money.
Or maybe... maybe I should
just drive down there
and we can discuss this
in person.
No, no, no, I've got loofahs
up my ass.
What I want is a refund.
Thank you.
Thank you,
I appreciate that.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Hey, Mooney, I thought
the captain told you
you're not supposed
to have this shit sent here anymore.
I ordered this a long time ago, before
he ever told me that.
Sea sponges from
the coast of France.
Sea sponges?
Your husband like that sort of stuff?
Hey, lay off him,
all right?
At least he's got a plan.
What does your future hold
besides bowling nights
and a beer belly?
- Hey, this is Kevlar, pal.
- Yeah, have another doughnut.
Asshole.
- Thanks, Jack.
- Yeah, forget about it.
You sure about this
beauty parlor thing?
Day spa. It's a day spa.
And no, I'm not sure
about shit.
You know, you could
always come work for me.
I could use you
on the task force, really, could.
Thanks, Jack.
I appreciate that.
But I made a deal
with Mare.
And it's not just that.
I'm bored.
years... it's enough.
Okay.
- What?
- No, nothing.
What? Come on,
say it.
You're pussy-whipped, Bob.
I mean, she's got you wrapped around
her little finger like a toy.
No, I... look,
If this thing takes off,
we can make a shitload of money.
And then we'll see
who's laughing.
All right, I hope so.
Here is our top story
this hour.
Breaking news
coming out of Culver City:
The bodies of two men have been
discovered outside a local warehouse
shot execution-style in what appears
to be yet another gangland slam.
These murders are the latest episode
in what has been dubbed
a gang war over Los Angeles'
illegal street-drug trade.
All right, I'm at the police station.
I'm running inside.
- I'll give them the phone.
- Thank you so much.
Excuse me, Officer.
Hold on a second,
you've got the wrong form.
What? Crap, I thought
I'd grabbed an - .
Hey, listen, I got some lady on the
phone who says she's been kidnapped.
Will you talk to her?
- Thank you.
- Sergeant Mooney.
Y-yes, yes, Officer,
m-my name is Jessica,
Jessica Martin.
I've been kidnapped. I...
I have a home in Brentwood.
This morning, five men
broke into my home
and killed my housekeeper.
You got something to say
to me, puto bitch?
Oh brother.
Hey, hey! Break it up.
Take this upstairs
to robbery-homicide, fourth floor.
Wait, wait,
where am I going?
The fourth floor,
upstairs, now, go!
Give us a hand.
Hey, Rudy, come on.
Excuse me, are you
a detective?
Detective?
I'm a freaking victim here.
Detective? Those jerks
dragged me down here.
And they're supposed
to read me my rights.
And they... hey, where are you going,
you little punk?
Ryan!
Oh my God!
What? What is it?
What's going on?
What?
What? What?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
No, oh, God! No!
Oh, God!
Where did he put it?
- I don't know, I don't know.
- Holy shit!
- What are you talking...?
- Where is your husband?
Where is he?
I...
Oh, God...
Tell me what
I need to know.
Don't, please! Don't.
You have
a little boy, right?
He goes to the Wyman School
- in Westwood?
- No, no.
No! What do you want
with him?
No! What do you
want with him?
You've got the wrong family!
You've got the wrong family!
Please, God! No!
Oh my God!
...and the victims have been
escorted to Culver City...
We need to end
this thing now.
Deason, Dimitri,
go get the kid.
Ryan, Ryan?
I know, I'm going
to get help.
What's going on there?
It's just static. I'm running upstairs
to find a detective.
Hang on a second.
I might lose you, okay?
No, you can't lose me.
I know. We're almost there.
Don't worry.
No, Ryan, stop,
you can't loose me or I'm dead.
What do you want me to do?
I'm standing in the stairwell.
I mean, I can...
I can see the door.
Oh, shit!
Is anybody there?
I need a detective, please,
this is an emergency!
Anybody!
Oh my God!
Ryan, what time is it?
It's : .
Is anyone there?
Listen to me. My son's school
gets out at : .
They have my car.
He'll hop in the car. You have to...
Look, I'm trying, I can't move.
What do you...
the Wyman School.
Barrington and Sunset.
- : Ryan, hurry!
- Shit!
Where are you?
I just turned off Sunset.
Okay, it's on your right.
About, uh... two miles
up the road.
What do these guys
want anyway?
I don't know.
I'm a science biology teacher.
What about your husband?
Is he rich?
No, no, he's a realtor.
None of this
makes any sense.
Yo, Grandma, come on!
What is it?
Where is a cop
when you need one?
What is this?
Hey, hey!
Get off your cell phone.
Concentrate on the road.
- Yeah, yeah...
- Idiot! You still there?
- Oh, Ryan, hurry.
- Okay, all right.
All right,
I see the school.
- Ryan?
- Yeah.
How much time do we have?
Uh... we got one minute.
Okay, go up
to the main building.
His classroom will be
on... on the left.
Okay.
- All right, I'm here.
- Okay.
- What's your kid's name?
- Ricky.
- Ricky what?
- Martin.
Ricky Martin? You named your child
Ricky Martin?
It was before the singer...
Whatever, whatever.
What does he look like?
He's years old,
blond hair, he's really s...
uh... small for his age,
gree... green eyes,
he's got on a...
a bl... blue shirt
and khaki pants.
They're all wearing that.
- Hey, are you Ricky Martin?
- No.
- Sir, can I help you?
- Ricky Martin?
Go to the office.
Hand them the phone.
I'll tell them
what happened.
Excuse me,
what are you doing?
Hey, do you know where I can find
the administrations office?
Yeah, it's up two...
You can't go there
right now, sir, it's closed.
- Oh, shit!
- You can't go in there, sir, sir?
Ricky Martin!
- Was that the bell?
- Yes, yes it was.
- Ricky Martin!
- Hurry!
Hurry, he'll go
to the parents' pickup spot.
- Okay, okay.
- Hey!
Oh, God! Ryan?
Ryan, they're gonna get him.
All right, parent pickup,
I see it.
- He'll definitely go there?
- Yes.
What kind of car you got?
A... a black SUV.
Of course you do.
Excuse me, sir,
you cannot be up here.
You've got to be down there
with the other parents.
I know, I'm looking for a kid named
Ricky Martin. I think he's in trouble.
He'll have a "Lord Of The Rings"
backpack.
Ryan, did you hear me?
Ricky Martin!
Holy shit, you see that?
The kid just got kidnapped.
What?!!
- I'm sorry. I gotta borrow your car.
- No, sir! Hey!
Hey! Don, I need
some help here.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Ryan, are you there?
Yeah, Jessica, I'm here.
Don't let them get away.
It's okay, it's okay.
I can still see them up ahead.
It's gonna be okay. I can
see them, all right, Jessica?
You know what? This isn't a bad thing.
I can actually follow them
to where they're holding you
and I can call the cops.
- Shit!
- What?
This bus just cut me off.
Come on!
All right, this isn't working.
Hang on.
Son...
Holy...
Whoa!
Whoa, whoa.
Holy shit!
Oh! Oh!
- A-are you okay?
- We're okay.
We're alive.
We're breathing.
What happened?
Did you loose them?
Don't worry,
I'll find them.
Shit!
What?
Little bit of traffic.
Just give me a second, okay?
Come on, man,
let us through.
- Shit! My battery's dying.
- Do you have a charger?
Yeah, at my house, Jessica.
Hang on,
I'm checking the car.
Now you wanna move?
Shit.
Whoa!
- Did you... did you find it?
- Not exactly.
Hey, what's the holdup?
Come on.
You are gonna owe me
so big for this.
Get the rig out!
Shit!
You still there?
Can you hear me?
- I'm here.
- All right.
We're getting us
a charger.
- Sorry, excuse me, I'm sorry.
- Hey!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
excuse me, I'm sorry.
Excuse me, excuse me!
- Hey, there's a line.
- I know, I'm sorry.
Excuse me,
I need a charger.
Sir, you need
to wait your turn, okay.
And we're having a special today
on cheetah spots.
- If you're feeling fierce.
- Ooh, how fun.
- Excuse me, I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, sir.
- Just a second...
- I'm with a customer.
If you'll just take a number, somebody
will be with you shortly.
We also have this one here.
Hey, hey, listen, I've got a
life-and-death call on this phone.
My battery is about to die.
You have a charger?
Sure, yeah, why don't you
take a number, okay?
And one of our sales
associates will help you
when your turn
comes around, excuse me.
No, no, my battery's
gonna die.
Excuse me, miss, please,
I have an emergency.
Sorry, sweetie, I'm
on break. Take a number.
No, I don't want
to take a number.
Come on,
this is ridiculous.
Screw this.
Oh, my god!
Now who's gonna give me
that goddamn charger?
- Dude, here's your charger.
- Thank you.
- Hey, Jack?
- Hey, Bob.
I sent a kid up
to see you guys this morning.
He had a phone with him,
some woman on the other end.
An abduction, something
like that... you do anything with that?
You know, I've been stuck
down at City Hall all morning
doing press on these
gang killings,
- but, uh, I'll ask around for you.
- Would you?
- Sure. All right.
- Thanks.
Hey, Bob, you know,
I was thinking about it.
You and Mare,
you'll do great with that beauty parlor.
It's a day spa.
Aw, shit.
Jess, are you there?
Pick up. Jessica!
Honey, listen to me,
you have to get out of the house
as fast as you can. Something's
happened. There's no time to explain.
Just get Ricky and meet me at our place
in left field, honey. I love you.
I'll explain
to you later, now go.
All right, we're good.
We got a charger.
Oh my God!
Do you want to die here?
Oh, shit!
No, please.
My family hasn't done
anything to you.
Your husband left a message
asking you to meet him in left field.
Where is that?
What? I... I don't know.
I don't know.
Go to the window.
There's something
I want you to see.
Dimitri, bring him out.
You got three seconds
to tell me where left field is,
or you're never gonna see
your son again.
Oh, God. Oh, God!
One...
...two...
He's a baby, you bastard!
He's a baby!
- Yeah, come on...
- He's a baby, he's a baby!
What's the matter
with you, huh?
He's a baby,
he's a baby!
Yeah, you wanna play?
You wanna play?
You wanna play
with me? Huh?
Your time is up.
Oh, God!
No, no, no, no, no.
- Your son is dead.
- No, no, he's not.
No, no, no, no, no!
It's a bar.
It's a bar in LA.
- What?
- It's a bar
at LAX.
We got him.
Put the kid in the garage.
When I didn't show up
for work this morning
someone called the police,
I'm sure.
You better hope they didn't.
You know...
all I care about is the safety of my
son, that's all I care about. I will...
- Shut up!
...cooperate with you. I will...
- Shut up.
- I... I just...
no, I just want
to tell you, I...
Hey, hey, hey! can you
turn that down?
Can you turn that down,
please?
- I just want you to know...
- Shut up.
Shut up!
Ethan, what the hell
are we doing, man?
This is turning into
a bunch of bullshit.
- Man, you gotta chill out.
- LAX, let's go!
Jessica?
Jessica, come on,
say something.
I'm... I'm here.
Ah. You knew where he was,
Jessica.
If you know stuff,
you got to tell these guys.
Don't you get it, Ryan?
After they find Craig,
we're all going to die.
You don't know that.
Don't think that way.
We've all seen their faces.
They can't let us live.
I feel so helpless.
It's my family.
- Miss Martin?
- Yes?
- Jessica Kate Martin?
- Yes, can I help you, Mister...?
I'm sorry.
Officer Mooney.
Ms. Martin, did you call
the police today?
No.
We had a report
of a possible kidnapping.
You haven't been
kidnapped today, have you?
No.
I'm sorry
to have disturbed you then.
Oh, no problem,
thank you, Officer.
- Yeah?
- It's Bayback.
- What is it?
- We had a visitor, a cop.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, it's taken care of.
Good.
Oh, God.
If they find Craig...
Hey, listen to me.
I'm not gonna let that happen.
I'm gonna beat them
to the airport.
Do you hear me?
Yes, I hear you.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
Thank you
for doing all this.
So what does that guy
look like,
that guy you were
talking to?
Um, uh...
black jeans,
a brown leather jacket,
close-cropped hair,
that's about it.
What else, what else?
What was he driving?
Just shut up.
Wait, what?
Jessica, I can't hear you.
- I'm sitting in it right now.
- Yeah?
- Hello?
- It's a brand new Porsche Carrera.
- The partners gave it to me.
- Great.
Mm-hm, sugar.
Brand new, arctic blue convertible.
It goes zero to
in . seconds.
Takes the girls' panties down
in . seconds.
- Jessica, you still there?
- Hey, this is a private call.
No, I'm here.
But you're breaking up.
Get off my line!
Mom, are you still there?
Hey, hey, listen,
this woman needs help.
Uh, actually no,
you're gonna need help
uh, when you pull my subpoena
out of your asshole
for not getting
off my line.
Jessica, Jessica,
don't hang up.
Can you hear me?
Whatever happens, don't hang up.
- Honey?
- What? Yeah, hey, Jess,
don't... don't hang up.
Hey, just be yourself, Jess.
Just get off my line, man.
- Jessica.
- Jessica! Jessica!
- Jessica, can you hear me?
- Who's Jessica?
Shit!
Please,
please, listen to me.
I've been kidnapped.
I don't know where I am.
They murdered
my housekeeper.
Wait, wait, wait,
stop, stop, stop, stop!
Murdered your housekeeper?
That... that's really cute.
Um, A) Shut up,
B) You can't bullshit
a lawyer, baby girl,
Do you get that?
Okay? I get paid $ an hour
to listen to shit like this.
So you want me
to bill you?
That's fine. Bill me anything you want.
Just help me.
I will pay you...
What the hell
is your problem, man?
What the hell is your problem?
You want to tussle?
- Give me your phone!
- Oh snaps.
Give me your phone!
Ryan? Is that you?
Yeah, I'm here, Jessica.
Hey, Jess,
your buddy's here.
Look, give me your phone
or I shoot your car.
Oh, hell no, hell no.
Why would you want to do
something awful like that?
Move!
I'm really sorry about this.
But I need your car.
- Oh, come on, dude, I'm not...
- Look,
- Okay. Yeah, that's fine.
- I need your car.
Ryan, i-is that you?
It's okay, Jessica,
I'm here.
- Oh, I thought I'd lost you.
- Have fun.
I'm sorry.
W-What's happening?
It's okay. Our lines got crossed with
some lawyer. It's all right.
- I got his phone. I got his car.
- Okay.
- Shit.
- What is it?
It's a tunnel!
Whoa, whoa! Jesus!
- What's happening?
- Get out of the way!
Can you back up?
I can't. There's traffic.
You can't loose me.
Do you hear me?
I'm backing up.
Oh, look who's coming back.
Awesome! Come on, buddy.
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, are you?
Suck it!
Oh, I am in deep shit!
- Shit!
- What?
- They're already here.
- Ryan, just find Craig.
Don't worry,
don't worry.
I got them.
This is the final
boarding call for Orly,
flight
with service to Paris...
Okay, what does
your husband look like?
Please have your
boarding passes ready
before entering
the security checkpoint...
About six feet tall,
really good shape, s.
What else?
What's he wearing?
Blue jeans, blue jeans,
he wears blue jeans all the time.
A Lakers jacket.
He had that on this morning.
No, it's ridiculous.
Okay, man,
I'll call you later.
Have a wonderful trip,
Mr. Clouseau.
Ah, oui-oui.
I'm sorry, excuse me.
Or I miss
my flight.
This is code red,
code red.
Concourse A.
Security checkpoint.
Excuse me.
Step this way, please.
- Is there a problem?
- Is this your jacket, Sir?
- Yeah.
- He's got a gun.
Wait, wait!
Down, down, down!
Don't move, don't move.
- Stay down.
- All right, take it easy.
We're police officers.
What's the matter with you?
Look in the goddamn tray.
Check my ID.
He's a cop.
All right, back off.
That's what
I was trying to tell you.
Jesus Christ, Jessica,
these guys are cops.
What the hell
is going on here?
This doesn't make
any sense.
All right,
I see "left field."
Do you see Craig?
Do you see him?
- I got him.
- Oh, thank God!
- Don't ask questions, just follow me.
- Get off me.
- Trust me. Your wife sent me.
- What?!
Look, they are here and they are
looking for you.
- They already have your family.
- What are you talking about?
Just let me explain it
to you, just trust me.
- Here, here he is.
- What?
Okay.
- This is it.
- Yeah.
Hey, bro, this isn't
my wife, okay?
My wife's name is Patty.
My name is Ed. Good luck.
You goddamn animals
better not have hurt them.
Animals?
We just recovered
the stolen vehicle.
It's heading
to Quicksilver Towing.
We're gonna have a look around
for the suspect.
Shit!
- Craig! No! No!
- Jess! Jess!
No!
Here she is. We've got your kid.
Now where is it?
Tell them, tell them they've got the
wrong family. That it's a mistake.
Oh, God, Jess, I'm sorry!
This isn't a mistake.
Listen to me.
I've made arrangements.
It's in a safety
deposit box.
And it's got special instructions that
if anybody gets to it...
No! No!
Stop it!
Here is the deal, Craig.
Either you give us
what we want,
or I blow her brains
all over you right now.
Your call. It's an ¢
bullet to me, Craig.
Okay, okay, please, please, God.
Please don't hurt her, please.
It's in our bank
in Century City.
Please, don't hurt her.
- Please! I love you, Jess.
- No! No!
You'll have help
in the bank.
Please, don't hurt her, please!
Jess, I love you!
- Please, don't hurt her.
- No!
Ryan, they've gone
to the Brenner Building
on Olympic
and Century Park.
Hey, change of plan.
I gotta get to Century City fast.
This definitely has
a smoother feel.
And the fruit acid
is still...
burning the shit
out of my face.
Okay, well then I think we're definitely
gonna have to go with this pink one.
No, Mare, it's
highway robbery.
What about the...
the other blue one?
No, I didn't like
the way that one dried.
I think it's the uh...
I think it's the live algae
in this one.
Mare, listen to me.
I'm not being
negative, okay?
But I think
this is bullshit.
Live algae
at $ a pop?!
And we're rubbing it
on our face?
Do you know how much algae
there is in the world?
Honey, this one works.
Yes, but maybe it's
the... the collagen.
No, sweetie,
they all have collagen.
I have to get that
'cause it might be the painter.
Authorities are asking
for your help
in identifying this man
believed to be responsible
for today's
bizarre string of crimes.
It started with a robbery
at gunpoint of a cellular store.
We were afraid he was gonna try to rob
the cash registers.
But all he ended up doing
was buying a charger.
Buying?! He bought that charger.
He paid for it?
Yeah, actually
he overpaid it.
'Cause we have
this sale going on.
Well, There you have it,
a bizarre twist in today's crime spree...
a criminal who appears
at least at moments
to be honest.
Back to the newsroom.
He continued his crime spree
by stealing an $
Porsche Carrera at gunpoint.
I basically got cut off
by this young man,
very good-looking,
in a security car.
And he was on the phone
talking to his friend, Jessica
who was supposedly
"kidnapped."
Whatever the...
like... you know...
and then, uh, basically he just
held me up at gunpoint
and stole my Porsche.
Directory assistance.
Yeah, I need the number
of a residence, please.
Jessica Martin
in Brentwood.
That number is - .
For an additional ...
Hi, you've reached
the Martins.
Leave your number
and we'll call you back.
She had an accent...
Oh, you've got
to be kidding me.
Thank you.
Whoa, hey!
I'm sure once all
the paperwork is done...
we should be getting it
in the next four or five days...
Yeah.
Ryan, what are you
going to do now?
I haven't had a clue
what I was doing all day.
Mr. Martin. Oh, my...
are you all right?
Car accident, I'm fine.
I just need to get
back into my deposit box.
I don't know what's in it.
I just know
if they get it, we're dead.
JT, will you show Mr. Martin
to his deposit box?
Don't let them
get it, Ryan.
Excuse me.
- Come on, come on, let's go.
- What's going on?
- No!
- Get some help.
Run!
Drop your weapon.
L.A.P.D., lock the building down.
Dimitri, get him out of here.
No.
Shit!
Damn it!
Deason, back of the building,
back of the building now.
Ethan, he's gone.
It's heading
to Quicksilver Towing.
We're gonna have
a look around for the suspect.
Hey, hey, hey,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Follow that tow truck.
Craig Martin here.
Now this building has square feet
to use as offi...
What the hell?
Jesus.
Are these cops?
What are they doing?
Waste this guy.
All right.
Light 'em up, boss.
Who they? ...what the...
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, God! Oh, Je...
Jack, get that asshole.
Shit.
I'm a dead man.
Ms. Martin?
Ms. Martin!
Police.
Anybody here?
Police officer.
years!
years
without this shit!
Where's Jessica Martin?
Who are you?
I am a cop.
Shit.
- - .
Yes, Operator,
I'm a police officer.
I need paramedics
to Bonhill Road.
Bonhill Road.
One moment, please.
All right, no, no, no,
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Would you just
give me back my goddamn car?
Don't take that tone
of voice with me, sir.
I already told you.
We do not release vehicles
until all impound fees
are paid.
Hey, you know what?
That's really awesome.
But guess what? I did not ask for it
to get impounded, okay?
I got carjacked.
Do you know what that is?
A carjacking? Where a jackoff comes up
to you, sticks a gun to your head
and says... hey, buddy, get out of... I
was car... I had it stolen from me.
Sir, you want
your car back or not?
Do I want my...
I don't know... let me think
about it for a second...
yes, but I'm not
paying for it.
Howie, take her
on back.
Howie? Howie... no.
Howie!
Howie, cut it out.
You're not...
just... okay, fine.
That's fine, it's fine.
It's all bad.
I'm just gonna... this is what I'm gonna
do... I'm gonna pay you, okay?
Never mind, Howie.
Who do I make it out to?
Lady who sucks? Is that it?
I tell you right now,
here you go.
One scratch on the car
and guess who gets an ass whip...?
Hey, that's my car!
That's my car! Oh, no, this isn't
happening, this isn't happening.
That ain't Howie.
Thank you. Yes.
Well, you missed
all the major pipes.
And you're gonna need
about five stitches.
But some of this tissue
looks gangrenous.
That's avocado mud mask.
It's for combination skin.
Moon? You all right?
Yeah.
Can you give us
a minute, fellas?
Jack, I didn't know
she was a cop. I...
Hey, Moon, take a breath, okay?
It's gonna be okay.
You just gotta tell me exactly
what happened here.
I don't know. I'm still trying
to figure it out.
I went inside. I clearly identified
myself as a cop
and she just
opened fire on me.
She didn't say a word.
She just started shooting.
I checked her ID.
Dana Bayback...
Bayback...? No.
I never heard of her.
She was pretending
to be Jessica Martin.
Hold on a second.
Who's Jessica Martin?
The woman who owns
the house.
And I think the real Jessica Martin
is in trouble, Jack.
Did... did Bayback... did she say anything
to you at all, anything?
Nothing.
She never had a chance.
It's gonna be okay.
Hello?
Hello? Are you there?
You little bitch.
I wanna know who
you were just talking to.
No! Ow!
First I'm gonna kill you,
then I'm gonna kill your little kid.
Oh, you wanna play?
What did you do to me?
th grade biology.
Brachial artery
pumps liters
of blood a minute.
But there's only five
in the human body.
I'm sorry. God!
Bitch!
- Mom!
- Ricky.
Ricky? Baby, are you okay?
I can't get out of here.
Yeah? Ethan!
- You better take this.
- What is it?
I got what you're
looking for.
- Oh?
- Yeah.
Okay, and what I do
for it?
What?!
What I do for what I looking for?
You tell me now.
Wait, who's this?
What number did I call?
You call me
on the payphone.
You waste my time.
I have pictures to draw.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude.
Chill out.
No, you don't tell me what to chill.
My mother tells me to chill.
I sit here, I draw people
telling me to chill out all the time.
You don't tell me what to chill.
I chill you.
Chad!
I thought you said
you had this under control.
- It is.
- Oh, really?
Why don't you ask
Bayback about that?
I heard about the cop.
She handled it already.
Oh, yeah? She handled that before
or after he killed her?
What?
Bayback is dead.
A cop was investigating
Jessica Martin's disappearance.
Something about some kid
who tipped him off.
- He knows too much.
- Mooney doesn't know shit.
And let's just leave
the thinking to me, okay?
Go back to the bank,
get the video of the kid.
Check every frame till you find one we
can use to ID that son of a bitch.
You got it.
Dimitri!
Ricky!
Listen to me.
Get away from the window.
Do you see the cabinet
in the corner?
Go over there
and get behind it.
No! Don't leave me!
Don't leave me.
No, I'm not
gonna leave you.
I'm not gonna leave you.
I'm gonna be right back, okay?
I'm gonna take you home.
Okay, Mommy.
Get outside now!
Come on, baby,
get in the back seat.
Get down, hurry!
Get down.
Get out of the car now.
Mom.
- Get out of the car.
- No!
No, don't!
- Get out of the car.
- No, don't! Don't!
You wanna save
that boy here?
Get out of the car,
you bitch!
Don't, no!
Get out, bitch!
- Who did you tell?
- Nobody.
Lying bitch!
Who is that kid at the bank?
I don't know...
You are dead.
Your family is finished.
Bad timing, Tanner.
I think we got off
on the wrong foot.
How did you get
this number?
Well, modern technology
is amazing, you know.
My phone remembers
the last incoming calls.
What do you want?
I want the woman
and her family.
Okay, now let me tell you
what I want.
I want you to tell me
where you are right now.
Or bad things are gonna happen
to this little family.
Sorry,
it doesn't work that way.
Oh, really?
Go cut the kid's throat.
Fine. You lost.
Nice talking to you.
Ring.
Come on, ring.
Ring!
Get the point?
You're playing
with fire, kid.
Yeah, know what? You're lucky I'm still
talking to your sorry ass, all right?
From here on out, you do as I say,
exactly as I say.
Or I slap this bitch on "Nightline"
and call it a day, okay?
So how do you want
to do this?
Santa Monica Pier.
No. Too busy.
Yeah, that's kind
of the idea, dickhead.
How will I recognize you?
You let me
worry about that.
Give me a number
I can reach you.
- .
I can hardly wait.
Me too.
Yeah?
- Where's your cop friend?
- He's right behind me.
We're making a trade with the kid
at the Santa Monica Pier.
- Your boy can ID him.
- All right, I'm on it.
So how's he looking?
He needs to go
to the hospital.
- Why? What's up?
- No, it's nothing.
Come on, what's up?
We caught a break with that kid that
robbed the cell phone store.
That's the kid
who was in the station.
Yeah well, we know he is at
the Santa Monica Pier,
but no one can ID him.
No one knows what he looks like.
I do. I saw him this morning.
I can point him out to you.
Absolutely not. You need to get stitches
or it's gonna open up again.
Here, you take care of him.
I can wait minutes.
You're sure
you're up for this?
Come on, let's solve
this goddamn thing.
All right.
Ethan, I'm here.
- Dimitri,
- I'm in position.
You here?
Yeah.
Showtime, he's on.
So now what?
First you show me
the Martins are okay.
There's a black van in the parking lot
at the northwest corner,
next to the Spy Sunglass
truck.
Okay, I can see it.
He's within
visual of the van.
Now look at
the passenger side window.
Deason, show the woman.
- Did you see that?
- Yeah.
We found him yet?
No, I don't see him.
He's the one on the cell phone,
you idiot.
Everybody's
on a cell phone.
Six feet tall,
Caucasian,
light brown hair,
sandy hair, about .
I wish I could remember
what he was wearing.
Your turn, now you show me
something.
- No, first you let them go.
- I don't think so.
Not until after
you give me the camera.
Yeah, I've been thinking
about that.
You know, it does me no good
to hand over the videotape,
then you guys
turn around and take us out.
I swore I wouldn't do that.
Like you swore
to protect and serve?
- Look, it's your choice.
- Excuse me.
Either the Martins or the videotape.
Either way, I'm walking in five minutes.
I'm warning you.
Shit!
I cannot believe you.
Where have you been?
- Chloe!
- Here. There he is.
I got him. He's across from the arcade
talking to some girl.
Damn it, Ryan, you know
how long I waited for those t-shirts?
That was so important to me.
Look, I can explain it to you.
I just can't do it right now.
It's not safe. There are
people after me right now.
God, I tried to call you
and your phone is off.
Hey, kid, I've been
looking for you.
It's me, Mooney
from the police station.
- Shit!
- No, wait, wait, wait,
wait a second, it's... ouch!
Hey, there you are, kid.
You run, everyone dies.
Would you relax?
He's a cop.
He's with me.
Jessica Martin?
You were right.
I got the kid.
Copy.
We're all good
here, right?
- Hey, Mooney, you don't look so hot.
- Nah, I'm all right.
No, I wanna get you over to the hospital
and get that checked out.
- This is detective Dimitri, C.I.D.
- Hey.
Get him over to the hospital.
Get him looked at.
Just relax, will you?
You're in good hands.
Yeah.
Will someone please explain to me
what's going on?
Who is she?
She's nobody.
I've never seen her before.
Let's go have a little chat about
Jessica Martin, huh?
God, that felt good.
This... this is nothing.
Except my wife is gonna kill me
when she sees it.
That is it.
All right, we've got it.
We're all done here.
Take care of the Martins.
Tanner... we can take care of him
back at the safe house,
not here.
Dude! What are you doin'?
I was like...
take a walk.
Shit!
Yeah-ah!
Now get up! Up!
Put them on.
Put them on.
You were gonna shoot me?
It's all right.
I'm a policeman.
That's a very bad man.
The kid's in a boathouse
under the pier.
Copy that?
Ethan, you copy that?
Copy.
Last chance, kid.
You come out now,
I'll make it easy on you.
Okay then.
You wanna do it this way?
Cocky little piece
of shit!
Time's up.
Bye-bye.
Oh, shit.
Do you have any idea how much trouble
you've caused me today?
Who are you?
How did you get involved?
I just answered my phone.
Shit.
You're pathetic.
The bitch has
more fight than you.
Come on.
Okay, that's enough.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit!
Please. Please!
Let him up.
Help me.
They're dirty cops.
He attacked my partner.
He tried to kill me.
I said let him up.
You're gonna believe
this lying piece of shit over a cop?
It doesn't matter
what I believe.
What's important is that
you believe
I would put a bullet in your skull
if you don't let him up.
They kidnapped Jessica Martin
and her family.
- Hands in the air.
- What?!
Do it, now!
Turn around.
Drop the gun.
We've got to get out of here.
Stay with me.
Ah, God, aah.
My leg.
Stay there.
Okay.
No.
- Mom, no!
- Ricky, look at me. Look at me, son.
Look at me.
All right, Mom, hurry.
Mom!
Ryan.
Jessica.
It's okay, it's over.
Through, please...
- Absolutely ridiculous.
- Save it.
Oh, Bob, thank god.
Will you back me up here?
I'm getting set up,
man, I...
Hey, sorry to interrupt. Have you guys
seen these new phones?
They're amazing.
They've got technology
and features like...
video recording.
Moon, don't listen
to this punk.
They destroyed
the original recording
but not till after I copied it
into my phone.
It's footage of this officer
and his men
robbing and murdering
two drug dealers in an alley.
This is total bullshit.
Jack, did I ever tell you
how much I hate dirty cops?
I think those chemicals
from your beauty parlor
are getting
your brain, Moon.
It's a day spa,
you fuck.
Get him out of here.
Are you all right?
Yeah, it's...
fine.
I... I don't know if there's
anything I could ever do...
thank you.
I do.
Don't ever call me again.
Yes, thank you!