Voila! Finally, the Cold Souls script is here for all you fans of the Paul Giamatti movie, which is not utterly unlike a Charlie Kaufman flick. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. At least you'll have some Cold Souls quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?
And swing on back to Drew's
Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.
Cold Souls Script
Well, you see, I'm a madman.
So I'm not responsible.
I can say whatever I wish.
You're not mad, you know. You're a fool.
What am I gonna do?
Nothing.
Give me something!
My God, man! I'm 47 years old.
If I live to be 60,
I'd have to live through another 13 years.
How can I do that?
How can I stand that?
Don't you see?
l- I have nothing to do with those years.
You see? Nothing.
l-
I mean, if I could just live
what is left in a different way-
Just wake up on a quiet morning...
and feel that this...
this is a new day.
Forget the past. Gone. Blown away.
Begin a new life-
Ah. l- I can't do this anymore.
- You wanna take a break, Paul?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Let's take a break.
What's going on, Paul?
l- I have this throb in my stomach.
I have a pain in my chest,
like somebody...
put my heart in a vice and just tightened it.
You're taking it way too seriously.
It's not a tragedy.
What happened to your sense of humor,
for Chrissake?
Hey, Paul, it's Max.
Listen. Um, did you give Autumn a look?
Uh, Jane says that they can't wait past Friday.
They gotta know.
It conflicts with Vanya,
but they'll go pay-or-play right away in, uh-
you know, at your rate.
Um, listen. I know you've-
you've poured your soul into Vanya...
but I can get you out of it in a heartbeat.
And- Oh, speaking of souls...
you gotta check out this week's New Yorker.
It's the answer to your nightmares.
Um, so give Claire my love when she gets back.
I'll talk to you later. Bye.
All passengers on Flight S-315...
arriving from Saint Petersburg and Moscow...
please proceed to
the lower baggage claim level once you have-
"Olga Spatova Vassile"-
Spatova Vassilevna.
That's it? Do you have a nickname?
Put your right index finger on the mark, please,
and look into the camera.
- What's the purpose of the visit?
- Surgery.
- Next.
- They don't have good doctors in Russia?
Not for the heart.
"Unburdening Made Easy."
"Are New Yorkers tired of carrying their souls?"
"Mini Storage, Pet Storage,
Private Storage, Self Storage-
"Soul Storage.
"Is your soul weighing you down?
Store it."
Welcome to the Soul Storage.
Your privacy is always guaranteed.
Our hours are 9:00 a.m.
to 6:00 p.m. Monday through Friday.
We're conveniently located on Roosevelt Island.
Press "1"for our special holiday offer.
Press "2"if you're an existing customer.
Thank you for your interest in Soul Storage.
Cut the rabbit into eight pieces.
Good Morning.
Um, the Soul Storage?
- Uh, yes, sir. Fourth floor.
- Fourth floor.
Uh, sign here, please.
Tie the legs with string
and rub the breast with butter.
"Do you feel lonely? Are you living in the past?
Do you lose your temper easily?"
Hi, Nina.
This is forJanuary.
- Do you have some aspirin?
- Yeah.
I'll let him know you're here.
Thank you.
Dr. Flintstein, Nina's here.
Mr. Giamatti?
Hello? The Soul Storage.
Yes, we do have discounts for couples.
So, how did you hear about us?
Uh-Well, my agent mentioned
something about it.
And, uh, uh-
I read the article in The New Yorker.
I wasn't quite sure about the services provided.
People come here and-
Well, they all want to know
if the soul is immortal and how it functions.
And we haven't a clue.
No clue.
We only offer the possibility...
to "de-soul" the body or disembody the soul.
You can see it either way.
You can also take a look on the inside...
before we store it.
Look on the inside- Um, um- Oh! No. I don't -
I don't want to look on the inside.
It's entirely up to you.
Now, your soul will be stored here...
or, if you'd rather avoid sales tax...
it can be shipped to our New Jersey warehouse.
Uh, no. God, no.
I don't want my soul shipped to New Jersey. No.
I understand.
What exactly is bothering you?
Well, uh...
I, uh- I've been working on a Chekhov play,
Uncle Vanya-
- I've seen that play.
- Oh.
It's so- It's so Russian.
- What do you mean, Russian?
- Well, you know.
The characters are so unlikable.
Especially Vanya.
He's so full of- of self-pity.
Just my take on it,
and I'm certainly not a specialist. Nut?
What?
- No. No. I'm - I'm good, thank you.
- Ah.
- Shall we get back to our problem?
- Yeah.
l- Uh, you know,
I guess I'm not really sure how to put it.
Um, l- I guess that I have reached a point...
where I feel like I can no longer...
separate myself, uh, from the character.
Uh...
I feel stuck.
And, uh, I don't know what to do.
I'm not even sure there is
a solution to it, frankly.
Yes. Well, that's a- that's -
It's - It's an elephant.
Yes, it is.
- Yes.
- Now, have you ever visited the circus...
and seen one if these creatures standing quietly
while tied to a small wooden stick?
- Uh-huh. - You see, when the elephant
is young and relatively weak...
it is tied to an immovable stick.
So later,
no matter how large and strong he becomes...
he continues to believe
that he cannot free himself.
- All right. Right. - Many intelligent
people are like circus elephants.
They never question
their self-imposed limitations.
And the soul can become just such a stick.
They need to break the chains.
Okay. I understand all of that, Dr. Flintstein.
Um, but I think that my situation is
a little more complex.
Well, when you have a tumor, you get rid of it.
A twisted soul is like a tumor.
It's better to get rid of it.
I don't think that my soul is twisted, Doctor.
Uh-Twisted?
It's - l- I just want to be able to do the play.
That's exactly what we're offering you.
No. No. No. I'm sor- I'm sorry.
This is-This is-This is insane.
Uh-
What about my-
What about my family? What about my wife?
This is not about your family, is it?
This is about you.
Happiness is not about making the people
around you believe that you're happy.
I don't need to be happy.
I just don't want to suffer.
Do you honestly believe that it's enough...
to just live and not suffer?
Everyone wants to be happy.
And I'm sure you're no exception.
- You noticing the colors?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Surprising, isn't it?
We imagine the soul in bright colors...
but they mostly come in dark tones:
blacks, browns, grays-
- Lots of grays actually.
- Mmm.
- Some of these are celebrities.
- Oh!
- Whose soul is that?
- Well, the identity is confidential of course...
but I believe this one had a melanoma.
Jesus Christ.
How did we get to this point?
Progress. Triumph of the mind.
Believe me, when you get rid of the soul...
everything makes so much more sense.
Everything becomes-
well, functional and purposeful.
All right. All right.
Ah, thank you.
Oh, no.
No, no, no. No, thank you.
No, Stephanie.
He'd prefer not to take a look on the inside.
Just a plain extraction.
- How we feeling?
- Oh, fine.
- Good. Now just relax.
- Okay.
Breathe normally.
Your consciousness will not be affected.
You'll keep everything useful
to the proper functioning of your mind.
Okay.
All right. Here we go.
How does it feel?
Awesome. Itjust is.
Can you describe the difference?
Honestly I don't feel much difference.
And I have so much energy.
How long do you intend to remain soulless?
As long as possible.
As you can see, soul extraction is 100% safe,
effective and discreet.
- Experience the prime of your life again.
- How do you feel?
Uh, I can't tell.
- Have you seen it?
- No, not yet.
Aren't you curious? This is so exciting for us.
You know, our souls will be stored together.
Mr. Giamatti.
- Oh, eh-
- You can safely leave it here for the moment.
This is our soul stimulator.
We're going to check to see how much of your
soul has been successfully extracted.
It's very simple.
If you feel something, press the red button.
If not, press the blue.
Good luck.
Um-
Are you saying that my dog is soulless?
No, ma'am. It's just that we don't know...
how to deal with pets.
We've got at least 95% of it.
What do you mean, 95%?
Well, uh, the five percent
residual won't bother you.
It's just enough to keep you animated.
Ah.
So, how are you feeling?
Hollow.
Good. Good. Good. Th-That-That's normal.
- What else?
- Uh-
Well, maybe lighter. Yes, light. Light.
- Light?
- Yeah, light and, uh, empty.
And, uh, bored maybe?
Um, but overall...
I feel great.
I feel great.
Well, that's perfect.
Those are the usual symptoms.
So, I need you to sign
the storage contract so we can proceed.
Well, let's have a look at it. Shall we?
- Let's, uh, see what we've got.
- What?
Oh, um-
What? Oh, please. Mr. Giamatti, don't worry.
Just think of it as, um-
Well, as another one of your organs.
Like your heart,
or your liver, or your pancreas.
- Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
- Good.
Uh, you know what? I'll tell you what.
Why don't I turn around,
and then you tell me when I can take a look.
- There's nothing to worry about.
- I just-
As you wish.
- How very interesting.
- Oh?
- Uh, yes. You can turn around.
- Uh.
Oh, my goodness. Look at it.
- But it's empty, for Chrissake.
- No, no. Come closer. You'll see.
Hey, there it is.
Oh, there he is. Oh, my goodness.
How can such a tiny thing feel so heavy?
Never ceases to amaze me.
Is this a joke?
N-N-No. Of course not. Wh-Why?
Uh-
Just because it's small doesn't mean anything.
No, are you-
are you telling me that my soul...
is a chickpea?
Mr. Giamatti, please.
Listen. We don't know
the forces that shape our souls.
A-And you chose not to look inside.
Internal conflicts, even neuroses-
Oh! Now you're calling me neurotic! Is that-
Don't move. Just no rushed movements.
We don't want to step on it.
There. There.
- Don't touch it!
- Eh.
Do not touch it.
- Careful. Careful, please.
- It's all right. It's all right.
Don't squeeze. Don't squeeze.
Okay.
Oh, here. Here.
Thank you.
- Do you think it's damaged?
- No. No.
No. They are extra resilient
to all sorts of shocks.
Hmm.
Hmm.
My life is gone.
I have talent, intelligence, boldness.
I could have been-
a Schopenhauer, a Dostoyevsky.
I'm losing it. Mother, Mother.
I'm desperate.
Mother, Mother-
Yeah, l-l- Uh, let's go again.
- Is Schopenhauer getting in your way or
something? - No, no, no, no, no. No, no.
Schopenhauer's -
Schopenhauer's fine with me.
Schopenhauer.
Schopenhauer, Schopenhauer.
Schopenhauer, Schopenhauer,
Schopenhauer, Schopenhauer.
Schopenhauer, Schopenhauer.
after the soul is extracted
in New York.
You'll travel with Nina
and one other mule.
Yes, Dimitri.
I don't get it...
You didn't make the quota
again this month.
Yes.
And the military?
They passed on it.
We have to identify new outlets
and it takes time, Dimitri...
I'm not arguing.
If the US government steps in.
We're out of business.
I want my soul back.
I'm sorry, that's impossible.
You signed the NCNR clause here.
It's non-cancelable, non-returnable.
No.
What if everyone was doing that?
We wouldn't be in business,
would we?
Hello?
Oh, Hi, Andrea. Yeah, hi.
Uh-
Mm-hmm.
Andrea wants to see us this weekend.
Hmm.
Are you sick? You're very pale.
Nah. Just the usual stuff. I'm fine.
You need to look after yourself.
How is Uncle Vanya?
Can we not talk about that?
I see my feet.
I see my feet.
I have...
feet.
How do I know they're mine?
That's a silly question, Paul.
Feet are tied to your legs.
Legs... tied to your torso.
You control it.
Eh.
If I have this body...
- I must be something else.
- Mmm.
Is that something new you're working on?
- What's up? What's going on?
- You feel strange.
- Strange?
- Your skin.
What about it?
Mmm, scaly maybe.
Scaly? What do you mean-
What do you mean, scaly?
Like a lizard or something?
Well, maybe it's just dry.
What's wrong?
Just making me
feel like a lizard doesn't really help, hon.
I just sit there and I talk to her.
You know, uh, she can't hear me.
I mean, we, um- we tried
the cortex, uh, stimulation.
But nothing, you know.
Oh, I just feel so impotent.
You know, I mean...
I just don't know what the right decision is.
Your brother should be part of this.
- You can't carry all this weight on your own.
- Cynthia.
Every day I ask myself, what should we do?
Why don't you just unplug her?
What?
Are you out of your mind?
Why would you say that?
- What did I say?
- What do you mean, what did you say?
She was asking for advice.
She clearly doesn't know what to do.
A- And the conversation just goes on and on.
Uh, and I'm sitting there,
and no one says anything...
and it's gonna go on for hours
if nobody says anything.
- You think it's easier just to hurt her
feelings like that? - Oh, come on.
I had no intention of
hurting anybody's feelings.
What was all that celery munching about?
What celery munching? What?
Why are you so upset about this?
What did I do?
I can't believe we're fighting
about a celery stick.
Paul, what is going on with you?
The rain is ending.
Oh, well,
everything will be refreshed and breathe.
Except for me.
No, no.
No, I'll be the only one
not refreshed by the storm.
Oh, day and night a demon oppresses me...
and I feel that my life was wasted...
that I squandered the past
on nonsense, nonsense.
And the present, the present-
Well, it's right here.
It's absurd.
Here is my life and my love.
What did I do?
Can I renounce this?
No. No.
My one true feeling in life...
and it's fading away, like-
like a ray of sunshine
at the bottom of a mine shaft.
Uh, when I think of your-
When you talk of your-
I'm sorry.
When you speak of your love for
me, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.
- I can't say anything.
- Mmm.
Oh, God!
If only you knew how much I suffer...
to think that right next to me
another life is wasted-yours!
What are you waitin' for?
What damned philosophy
is keepin' ya from livin', woman?
Uh, okay. Uh, that's it. Let's -Let's go home.
- Thank you.
- Yeah?
Great work today.
- Huh. Wow, she is great.
- Yeah. Can we talk?
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
So, uh, you realize that we have a week left?
Now I think you're taking it,
uh, a little seriously, Frank.
And relax. We'll be fine.
We just need to focus on act four. That's all.
Paul, we're out of time.
And I don't understand
what the fuck is going on.
Well-
Frank- Frank, I'm just trying to give him-
another dimension.
- Another dimension?
- Yeah!
You know, I don't think
that he should always be so passive.
Hmm? So hopeless. It's just-
Why are you looking at me like that, Frank?
I can't. I can't. I can't do it. I can't.
Um, it's death. It's death inside!
Doctor, um, I'm dry as a bone.
Nothin' I can't feel a thing. Nothing.
I can't feel anything.
You see. I'm -
I'm about to lose my job.
I can't make love to my wife.
- I wish you'd told me about the side
effects, Doc. - But we don't know.
- The soul is a mystery.
- Ohh.
Everyone reacts differently-
to the same extent that each soul is unique.
Soullessness has its own peculiarities.
Now, however, I can offer you an alternative.
An alternative? What are you talking about now?
We receive a substantial
number of souls from anonymous donors-
- from writers, musicians-
- All right.
poets-
- dancers, painters.
- Mm-hmm.
We also import souls from Russia...
in case you're interested in a Russian soul.
- You import souls?
- Yes.
Well, at the moment.
The industry isn't quite regulated yet.
Last time I was here, uh, Doctor...
I believe that I said that
this was completely insane.
Yes, you did.
Now, but may I ask you one question?
Have you had one dark thought
in the last week?
No.
Have you been able to perform Vanya
without feeling distressed?
- Yes.
- So it works to a certain extent.
- Doctor!
- One step at a time.
This is not an exact science.
But I will guarantee you one thing.
The moment you get your soul back...
you will feel the unbearable weight again-
and you will not be able to perform at all.
Okay. Okay. What should I do?
Pick a soul.
"Chicago sportswriter.
"Brooklyn novelist. Hollywood screenwriter.
"Brazilian songwriter.
Russian poet."
Russian poet.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Over here.
How much longer do you intend to do this?
This process is very hard on a system.
Hmm, your residue quota is pretty high.
You should be attentive. They add up.
What do you mean, they add up?
The soul fragments condense and accumulate.
They don't check this in Russia?
You should be careful.
Ah, this is interesting.
Number 738.
738. Russian poet.
That's a great choice. How long?
Oh, uh, two weeks.
Two weeks. I'll inform Dr. Flintstein. We'll
proceed with the transplant.
- How would you like to pay?
- Credit card?
That'd be great.
Um, I have one question.
Uh, is it male or female?
I can't answer that question.
Oh, God. No, I will not shut up!
Wait. I'm not done.
I haven't lived. I haven't lived, thanks to you.
I have destroyed the best years of my life!
You are my worst enemy!
- I can't take it! I can't.
- You're nobody!
- If this is your house, keep it.
I don't give a damn about it. - My life is gone.
I have talent, intelligence, boldness.
I could have been a Schopenhauer.
A Dostoyevsky!
Ah!
I'm -I'm confused. l-
I don't know what I'm saying.
I'm losing it.
Mother.
I'm desperate, Mother.
I'm sorry. Can you stop here?
This "B"train is making all
local stops to Brighton Beach.
"B"train making all local stops.
That's right!
Nina-
What did you write here?
That's the scientist.
He didn't believe he had a soul.
Next!
Sasha, how many poets' souls
do we have?
Fourteen.
Not enough.
All right...
So the scientist is a poet and...
this one also...
the jellybean.
Boss?
20,000 Rubles?
Have you seen it?
Seen what?
It looks like a prune!
Get out!
Next!
We're selling Russian souls
to Americans.
What about selling...
American souls to Russians?
Who wants to buy an American soul?
Well, Oleg...
Sveta, to begin with.
Don't you, honey?
She says to have an American soul...
will help her acting.
She made a list.
Oh!
Kevin Spacey, George Clooney,
Robert Redford, Al Pacino...
Baby...
No actresses?
Why don't you pick
some actresses too?
You guys add some females in there.
How do you expect us to do that?
You'll find a way, Oleg.
Oh, hi, Nina.
Hi.
The first few days were fine.
But-
shaking, cramps, headaches, uh-
Well, your system is rejecting it.
Take these pills. You'll feel much better.
No.
This is too intense for me.
This soul needs a much larger life than mine.
No. I just want my soul back.
I see.
Uh, well, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, but-
Is it possible to contact the donor?
- I'm afraid not.
- Why not?
Because it's an anonymous donor.
She had a beautiful soul.
She shouldn't have done it.
I don't think it's wise for you
to be asking questions...
about donors and such.
This is a serious business in Russia-
um, soul trafficking.
Uh-
Uh-
Have you seen this?
It's a chickpea.
It's a pea...
Hmm.
For God's sake.
- A chickpea.
- Hmm.
The shape doesn't mean anything.
It's a beautiful soul.
Does Dimitri know about this?
Get him!
Get him now!
I want him to see
what he does to me!
- I don't want you to worry, Mr. Giamatti.
- Huh!
This is a simple mistake.
It must have been misplaced.
We're going to find it.
You shouldn't judge by appearances.
Al Pacino won three Oscars.
But it's a chickpea!
This has never happened before. We probably
shipped it to our NewJersey warehouse.
Oh, God.
Oh, G-
You do realize that, uh,
this is the end of my career?
Uh, but I don't want you to brood over it.
We're starting to believe that it may be
possible to develop a soul from almost nothing...
- like, uh, a muscle.
- Uh-
And who knows?
After long work and dedication, in the long run-
What- Oh, oh, what long run?
In the long run, we're all dead.
All I am saying is
that it is possible to develop...
from the five percent of your remaining soul,
a fully developed one.
Heracleitus put it quite eloquently.
He said,
"The soul is its own source of unfolding."
I don't give a shit about Heracleitus.
I want my soul.
I just want my soul, the way it was...
with all its imperfections and darkness and-
We're going to find it, Paul.
Don't you worry.
Do you have any American films
with Paul Giamatti?
Who?
Paul Giamatti. Paul Giamatti.
You're extremely sexy.
You know, unbelievably sexy.
It's so nice to be here with you.
Let's go somewhere and make love.
Paul?
Is there someone else?
No. For Chrissake, no.
There isn't anyone else.
Well, I'm sorry, but things
have been pretty strange round here recently.
You smell different.
You feel different.
What am I supposed to do?
Just watch you come in at dawn?
Honey, uh-
Honey.
If I were a different me...
in the same body...
would you still love me?
What are you talking about?
I have, uh, extracted and stored my soul.
But now, uh...
they've misplaced it.
They don't know where the hell it is.
It's a total nightmare. It's a total nightmare.
It's a total-
I can't -
It's-It's the end of my career.
And, uh-And it's-it's the end of us.
Why would you do that?
Eh- Uh- l-I don't -
I just told you.
I don't know! I don't know. I'm, uh-
I don't know. Max told me
that his mother-in-law did it.
And then she told me that, uh-
that Cynthia was thinking about doing it too.
Cynthia?
Yeah. What does it ma- Yeah, Cynthia-
I just- I got-
I got confused. I got confused.
It was-
It was just for two weeks.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
So, you're completely soulless right now?
What? No, no, no, no. Not exactly, no.
I still have five percent of my soul.
Five percent?
But I rented the soul of a Russian poet.
You did what?
l- I just did a silly thing.
I just did a-
I just did a silly, silly, selfish thing.
Ah-Ah-
Aah!
I'll understand if you despise me.
He wasn't my lover yet.
What are you talking about? He was your lover.
What are we doing in this restaurant?
You're awfully fidgety or something.
Do you know when she plans
to return the soul?
I'm not paying you to ask questions.
No. N- Yes, I understand. But I was asking if-
Uh, nothing yet.
Uh, in the meantime,
what should we do with the poet's soul?
Uh, do you want to keep it,
or would you rather be soulless?
No, no. No soulless. God, no.
All right. Um- Take two of these three times a
day and you should be fine.
It always takes time for a soul to get rooted.
But I don't want it to get rooted.
I want mine back. Do you understand?
Yes, I do understand. I'm awfully sorry.
I just, um- If there's anything else I can do
for you in the meantime-
I would like to get in touch with the donor.
I don't know who the overseas donors are.
You see, the souls are extracted in Russia...
and then they are transported by the,
uh- by the mules.
Mules?
Yes. Russian women.
Souls are extremely volatile at altitude.
Well, can you tell me who the mule was?
What's goin' on here?
You know where it is.
Right? You know where it is.
Jesus Christ, please.
Just tell me where the hell my soul is.
I didn't know it was yours-
- I mean, u-until I rented your films.
- Mm-hmm?
I'm really sorry.
Wait.
What are you talking about?
Your soul... is in Russia.
- What?
- In Saint Petersburg.
What is my soul doing in Saint Petersburg?
Eh- You didn't-
You didn't sell it on the black market
or anything, did you?
No! N-
It's with my boss's wife. She wanted-
She wanted to try the soul of an American actor.
An American actor?
Why the-Why the hell me?
Couldn't find anyone else.
She wanted to try the soul
of famous American actor.
There's a... list.
She wanted the soul...
of... Sean Penn-
- Oh.
- Johnny Depp...
- Robert De Niro-
- Yeah.
How do you call this when you-
you take something, but-but you want-
To steal?
But you want to give it back.
- Borrow.
- We just borrowed it.
- You borrowed it.
- We just borrowed it.
You just borrowed it. Well, uh, you borrowed it!
Please-
- Who says that you can just go around
borrowing people's souls? - Please- Please-
- For God's sake!
- I'm sorry.
What can I do? I mean, can I buy it back?
It's not about the money. They're very wealthy.
The only thing they don't have...
is talent.
Some Russian actress who is the wife
of a big shot over there...
is toying with my soul.
That's all that I know.
You sure you don't want to take the lawyers or-
- or Steve or Max? - No. No lawyers,
no managers, no agents, no publicists. Nothing.
This is nobody else's business.
Oh, gee.
Oh!
Yeah? Oh!
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll be- I'll be right down.
- "The pleasure is mine."
- The pleasure is mine.
- "Could you measure me?"
- Could you measure me?
- "I part my hair on the left."
- I part my hair on the left.
- "Do I have appendicitis?"
- Do I have appendicitis?
"I'm pregnant."
- "Take off your clothes."
- Take off your clothes.
- "To the waist."
- To the waist.
"Yes, I'm married."
Yes, I'm married.
- "Flocculate."
- Flocculate.
- "Peanut."
- Peanut.
Do you see that?
W-Wait for me here, okay? One minute.
You said everything was fine!
Yes...
then they found out.
So what?
It's not my problem.
He's here now.
So yes, it's your problem.
How much is he paying you?
I'm doing you a favor.
So you don't lose Flintstein.
You really think I'm an idiot?
You can't trust anyone, can you?
Welcome, Mister-
- Giamatti.
- Ah.
Welcome, Mr. Giamatti.
Anything to drink? Cigar?
- I'm fine.
- Yeah.
Please, sit down.
Did Nina brief you on the situation?
Uh, what do you mean,
brief me on the situation?
You see, I'm quite concerned.
Well, yes, uh, I should I hope so.
Imagine for a second
that your wife carries in her body...
the soul of another man-
and refuses to be separated from it.
Uh, no.
I, uh- I can't imagine that. No.
- It's a form of adultery.
- Oh, for God's sake.
Um, no, actually.
- Adultery implies consent between both parties.
- Oh.
- And nobody ever asked me anything. Yeah.
- Yes, yes.
Yes, but- but the whole thing
is rather humiliating, you see?
That has nothing to do with me.
Look.
Does your wife know what is going on here?
We thought we were getting Al Pacino's soul.
- Al Paci-
- Yeah, yeah.
It's not a good idea to disappoint her.
Uh-huh.
Uh, well, I'm really very sorry that, uh,
things didn't work out...
with, um-with Al Pacino.
Wha-What the hell
is she acting in here anyway?
Nina...
tell him.
You tell him.
Okay.
She is in a fantastic soap opera.
- A soap opera?
- Yeah, yeah.
- A soap opera?
- Yeah, yeah.
Are you out of your mind?
Wait, no-
But she could ruin my soul!
H-Have you people thought about
the consequences of any of this?
Have you?
What do you want me to tell her?
What do I want you to tell her? What do I want
you to tell her? You have gotta be kidding me!
Ah.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
Nina... going to take you around.
Take any soul you like.
We have unlimited choice.
I'm going to say this...
once and nicely:
Pick a soul and go home.
Do you really think that I came all the way to
Russia to hear that kind of crap?
Get him out of my sight...
or I'm gonna lose it.
- Paul.
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
What the hell was that all about?
- I want to talk to the wife.
- That's not a very good idea, Paul.
- Just be patient with Dimitri.
- No. No.
This schmuck
is not telling me what to do.
Schmuck.
- Okay, come on.
- No. Not here, Paul.
Not here.
Oh, geez.
Uh-huh. I see. I see. You think this is funny.
At least she enjoys it.
She seems happy with your soul.
You know, Paul,
maybe you needed a bit of frivolity.
- "Frivolity."
- That's what I said.
No, no, you said-
"frivoulity."
- No. It's not what I said.
- That's exactly what you said.
- You said "freevouluty."
- No.
It's not the way I said it.
- Yes, it is. "Frivoulity."
- No. No.
- That's her.
- Paul, it's not a good place.
- It's never gonna be the right place.
- Paul-
I don't wanna make a scene.
- Who are you?
- I'm an actor.
Uh-
I would just really like...
to have my soul back.
- An actor?
- Yes.
Sir, we're busy here...
You'll have to leave.
Sveta, I'm sorry.
What are you doing here?
Who is this guy?
He's a famous actor in America.
He came all the way from New York...
Dimitri knows about this?
Please! You're disturbing everyone!
What is she-
What are you-What is she doing?
Don't call him. He knows.
He lied, right?
It's not what you think.
- What is she saying?
- I said, my husband lied to me.
Listen, listen.
I don't even have a sexy soul.
It's all dark and twisted.
It's got a ridiculous shape.
Did they tell you what it looks like?
I'm sure they didn't.
It looks like a chickpea.
It looks like a chickpea, for Chrissake.
This isn't about you.
It's between my husband and me.
Jesus, when did my life
become so complicated?
I like to stay home, you know?
Just read, watch movies, nothin' crazy.
What do we do now?
We wait... for a good moment.
Did you see anything in my soul,
or was it just empty?
No. It wasn't empty.
I liked it so much.
It made me curious about you.
What did you see?
What?
I don't know. It's just-
I couldn't look.
Is he a relative?
No, just a friend from America.
I didn't know
she had friends in America.
Olga...
two weeks ago...
committed suicide.
She had no family.
Do you want her address?
Olga committed suicide.
What happens to the soul when the donor dies?
l- I don't know.
You never asked?
I didn't know she had friends
in America.
She never paid on time.
Except before the tragedy...
She paid all her debts at once.
All this is going into the garbage.
Is he your husband?
- Hmm?
- Hmm?
Ah.
- Da.
- Ah.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
"Her clothing is characterized
by fastidiousness, hushed sexiness...
and a certain deluxe abandon."
"Deluxe abandon."
Jesus.
Oh- Oh-
Oh, is that absolutely necessary?
Yes, Paul.
- What do we do now?
- Stay around and alert.
It's okay. She's sedated.
W-Wait a minute. It's - It's all dried out.
Well, I'm not surprised.
Go and get her.
Whoop. Whoa.
What's goin' on?
Your soul is resisting.
Wha-
What do you mean, the soul is resisting?
They have a strange capacity of resistance.
Oh, for Chrissake. What-What do we do now?
You have to look inside and reconnect to it.
- No. No! I don't want to look inside.
- Don't worry.
- You won't have time to see much of it.
- No way. No.
- I already refused in New York.
I don't wanna do this! - There's no time.
Wha- How does this work?
Just-
Oh, my God. Are you reading the manual?
l-l-I only deal with extractions.
It's in English.
What does "glaucoma"mean?
What? Oh, it's a-
it's an optic nerve disea-
What? Glaucoma?
Jesus Christ!
I'm not doin' this.
- I'm not doin' this.
- The probability is only three out of 1,000.
- Yeah, well, but- but that's really h-high!
- Shh.
Lie down.
Mmm.
Well, I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.
Nothin' I knew it.
Jesus.
Nothin' Oh, God.
Huh?
Okay. Okay. Uh-
It wasn't that terrible, was it?
What happened to Olga's soul?
I don't know.
What, it just- It just vanished?
Let's go before she wakes up.
How long are you planning to stay-
"Margarita Petrovna"-
Margarita Petrovna Alexandra.
You've been here before?
- You look familiar.
- I look Russian.
Put your right index finger on the mark.
Y-Your hand is too cold.
Okay, hon. Next.
Sign here. Mark there. Mark there.
Not yet.
- Excuse me, sir.
- What's goin'on here?
Homeland Security. I can't really talk about it.
- Most of the unclaimed souls have
been transferred to a hedge fund. - Oh.
Well, I'm - I'm glad it's all sorted out.
Believe me, I've spent
some sleepless nights thinking about you.
Well, uh,
it's not completely sorted out, Doctor.
I'm here for, uh, Nina.
- I'd very much like to help her.
- Mm-hmm.
Um, she's quit the mule... thing.
Oh, well, that's some good news.
She wasn't gonna last long at that pace.
Uh, c-come with me.
Uh, excuse me.
This is Paul Giamatti. He's, um-
He's a very good client of ours.
Stephanie, I need you.
Are you interested in an acquisition?
Uh, well, no, not exactly.
I'm looking for a soul. Number 532.
532-
532.
Here. You're lucky. We've just acquired it.
- Very good. The donor would like it back.
- Not a problem.
We have to assess the value.
It's a shadow price.
- I don't know what that is.
- There's no market price for it yet.
- Our accounting department has-
- This person was-was working here.
- She was-
- I know, our records indicate she was a mule.
We're not a charity business.
We're a hedge fund.
You're speculating in human souls,
for Chrissake.
Mr. Giamatti, we took large financial risks
to set up this operation.
Without us, this soul
would probably be somewhere...
on the Eastern European
or Asian underground market.
To be honest with you,
I'm not even sure she has room for it.
- Her residues quota exceeds the
standard threshold. - Her what?
The fragments
from all the souls she carried-
they accumulate.