Voila! Finally, the Constantine
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Keanu Reeves and
Rachel Weisz. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Constantine. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Manuel.
Manuel!
Manuel.
I think...
I think I found you one.
Look, I called you, right?
Soon as I couldn't pull it out myself,
I called you, John.
It's okay, it's okay.
We had to tie her down, okay?
It's okay.
This is Constantine.
John Constantine, asshole.
Sure.
What the hell?
I need a mirror.
Now. At least feet high.
Move! Go, now!
This is Kramer.
Chas Kramer, asshole.
Asshole.
What? Oh, this is Kramer.
Chas Kramer, asshole.
- Chas!
- What?
- Move the car.
- Why?
Move the damn car!
"Chas, move the car."
There, car's moved.
Lift it up over the bed.
Tie that end off.
Hennessy, over the top.
Close your eyes.
And whatever happens, don't look.
No!
Show yourself.
Smile pretty, you vain prick.
For your boss.
Pull it!
Ma? Ma?
Like I said, I found you something,
didn't I, John? Didn't I?
What happened in there?
Going to a lot of meetings, I see.
Keeps the voices out so I can sleep.
I have to sleep, John.
I need some help, Father.
You do?
From me?
What kind of...?
- Hey, listen, l...
- That exorcism wasn't right.
Listen to the ether.
Anything unusual, you let me know.
Come on, you don't need its protection.
It'll be like back in the day.
A few days.
Okay.
Okay. For you, John.
John, why would you do that
if you know it's not my car?
- I told you to move it.
- You did tell me to move it...
...but if you'd said you were dropping
a -pound mirror with a demon...
...I would've moved it further, John.
- Take Alvarado.
- Yeah, thank you. I know what to take.
You ever think if you told me more now
that maybe I could help out?
- No?
- Nope.
Nope?
Of course it's a nope.
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
It's been...
...two weeks since my last confession.
I killed a man today.
Another one.
I didn't even see his face, I just...
...pulled the trigger, and he went away.
Most cops go years
without firing their guns.
Why do I always know
where these guys are?
Where to aim, when to fire.
I'm wondering, is there
something wrong with me, Father?
Something damned?
God has a plan for you.
He has a plan for us all.
You mustn 't let your faith
be overshadowed by guilt.
Yeah, I'm trying.
I'm trying real hard.
Isabel.
Isabel.
Things I've beaten.
Things most people never even heard of.
And now I'm gonna be done in by this.
Wouldn't be the first, John.
Come on, Les.
You saved me before,
you can do it again, right?
This is aggressive.
Twenty years ago,
you didn't wanna be here.
Now you don't wanna leave.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
John, you really need to prepare.
- Make arrangements.
- No need.
I already know exactly where I'm going.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Detective.
- No, no, no.
- Angela, wait.
You don't need to see this, okay? No.
Give us the room, please.
Isabel.
She fell from the roof?
She jumped.
- No.
- Look...
...I know it's hard to accept.
She was sick.
- Isabel wouldn't kill herself.
- Angie.
- She wouldn't kill herself.
- Detective.
- Period.
- Detective.
Period!
Angie, there were security cameras.
- Hold the door. You going down?
- Not if I can help it.
A new case?
The big score? The mother lode?
The one you've been waiting for?
- Humor me.
- Don't I always?
Oh, yeah, that's...
Much obliged. Thank you.
How you feeling, John?
So, what's new?
Bullet shavings from
the assassination attempt on the pope...
...holy-water ampoules
from the River Jordan...
...and... Oh, you'll love this.
- screech beetle from Amityville.
Yeah, it's funny to you, but to the
fallen, that's like nails on a chalkboard.
What is it, exactly, with you and bugs?
I just like them.
Yeah. Who doesn't?
Yeah, easy there, hero.
- That's dragon's breath.
- I thought you couldn't get it anymore.
Yeah, well, I know a guy
who knows a guy.
So, what's the action?
I just pulled a soldier demon
out of a little girl.
Looked like it was trying
to come through.
Yeah, I know how it sounds.
No, we're finger puppets
to them, John...
...not doorways.
They can work us, but they can't
come through onto our plane.
Check the scrolls anyway.
See if there's any precedent.
Sure thing, John.
Anything else?
Wouldn't happen to have
anything for a...?
On the house.
All right, question. How much longer
do I have to be your slave, John?
You're not my slave, Chas.
You're my very appreciated apprentice.
Like Tonto or Robin.
Or that skinny fellow
with the fat friend.
Right. So then why don't I apprentice
something besides driving, then, John?
John? John.
I love our little talks, John.
May I take your coat, Mr. Constantine?
No, thanks,
I'm not gonna be staying long.
- How about you, ma'am?
- Oh, no, I'm not staying long either.
I really need to speak with him.
It's important.
First come, first served.
So you're rude no matter where you are.
- Father.
- Hi.
- You have news. Yes.
- Yes, I spoke with the bishop.
I know what you want, son.
Still keeping your all-seeing eye
on me, Gabriel?
I'm flattered.
Well, I could offer something...
...about how a shepherd leads
even the most wayward of his flock...
...but it might sound disingenuous.
She has to have a Catholic funeral,
Father. She has to.
- Angela, it's still considered a mortal sin.
- She didn't commit suicide.
The bishop believes otherwise.
You know the rules.
Oh, rules.
Father.
David.
This is Isabel.
God was the only one
she ever believed loved her.
Please.
I'm sorry.
I've been seeing some unusual
soul traffic lately.
You might consider
giving me an extension.
I could do your side some good
these days.
You still trying to buy your way
into heaven?
What about the minions I've sent back?
- That alone should guarantee my entry.
- How many times have I told you?
That's not the way this works.
Why, haven't I served him enough?
- What does he want from me?
- Only the usual.
Self-sacrifice, belief.
- Oh, I believe, for chrissake.
- No, no, you know.
And there's a difference. You've seen.
I never asked to see.
I was born with this curse.
A gift, John.
One that you've squandered
on selfish endeavors.
I'm pulling demons out of little girls.
Who's that for?
Everything you've ever done,
you've only ever done for yourself.
To earn your way
back into his good graces.
Impossible rules, endless regulations...
...who goes up, who goes down
and why.
You don't even understand us.
You're the one who should go
to hell, half-breed.
Why me, Gabriel?
It's personal, isn't it?
I didn't go to church enough,
I didn't pray enough...
...I was bucks short
in the collection plate. Why?
You are going to die young...
...because you smoked cigarettes
a day since you were .
And you're going to go to hell...
...because of the life you took.
You're fucked.
At least it's nice out.
He always had a rotten sense of humor.
And his punch lines are killers.
John!
Constantine, it's raining! John! Hey!
Twenty-two women were found buried
in the assailant's back yard.
So much damage had been done
to the bodies, police had to match...
Police report she had been
physically penetrated...
...over times and buried alive.
- found locked in a storage freezer,
his head severed and his organs...
He stuffed Holly's body into...
- The bodies ravished by the unknown...
- He used a small handsaw...
Had nearly decapitated...
Even his eyes were gouged out.
Isabel.
I'm so sorry, lzzy.
Constantine.
Dodson.
Hello?
Hello.
Hello?
Hey. Hey, buddy, got a light?
Should've minded
your own business, exorcist.
I know where you're going, John.
You're going to Midnite's.
You're supposed to wait in the cab.
It's a haven for those who rise and fall.
I remember reading about this, John.
- You read too much, kid. It's a bar.
- It's a bar?
It's a bar. Papa Midnite is a crusader for
good. He swore the oath of neutrality.
- John, the man's a legend.
- Yeah.
Can you please get me
into this bar, John, please?
I'm begging you, John, please?
- Sure, you can get in.
- I can get in?
If you can get in.
If I can get...? It's a bear, though, right?
Or two ducks in a cloud?
Two frogs on a bench.
Two frogs on a bench.
No, no, I'm with the guy you just...
John! John!
I'm with him, though.
Rat in a dress.
Of course it is. Rat in a dress.
I'm just testing. I'm just testing.
Don't get up.
You've been absent some time.
Have you come here with relics to sell?
No, I'm out of that now.
I've been too busy.
Perhaps peddling forgeries has ended up
being bad for your health.
Midnite, Jesus...
...I thought the thing was authentic.
I see now.
Your health is bad for other reasons.
How long?
A few months, maybe a year.
I thought I heard thunder last night.
Must have been
Satan's stomach growling.
You're the one soul he'd come
up here himself to collect.
So I've heard.
Well, I am most certain
you did not come here...
...for a sympathetic shoulder
to cry on.
A demon just attacked me,
right out in the open on Figueroa.
They don't like you, John.
How many have you
deported back to hell?
Not some angry half-breed, Midnite.
A full-fledged demon, here, on our plane.
Clearly I do not have to remind you
that is impossible.
And yesterday I saw a soldier demon...
...trying to chew its way out
through a little girl.
Listen, John, demons stay in hell,
angels in heaven...
...the great détente
of the original superpowers.
Thanks for the history lesson, Midnite.
You've been a tremendous help.
Now...
...I need to use the chair.
John, forgetting the fact that it would
almost certainly kill you...
...you know I am neutral.
And as long as the balance
is maintained, I take no sides.
Before you were a bartender...
...you were one witch doctor
against, what, Ashgar?
- And l...
- You were Constantine.
The John Constantine.
Once.
This isn't the usual game, I can feel it.
Something's coming.
Spooky.
Balthazar.
That expression alone
has made my entire night.
I'll make your night.
I'll deport your sorry ass right where
you stand, you half-breed shit!
You know the rules of my house.
While here, you will abide by them.
Johnny boy.
Word is you're on your way down.
Fresh meat.
Finger-licking good.
We have a meeting now, John.
What? I didn't catch that.
Welcome to my life.
Mr. Constantine.
- I saw you...
- I remember.
- And then I saw you at the...
- Regular kismet.
I'd like to ask you a few questions,
if that would be okay.
I'm not really in the talking mood
right now.
Well, maybe you could just listen then.
Please?
Always a catch.
My sister was murdered yesterday.
- Sorry to hear.
- Thanks.
She was a patient at Ravenscar.
She jumped off the roof.
Thought you said she was murdered.
Yeah, well, Isabel wouldn't
have taken her own life.
Yeah, what kind of mental patient
kills herself?
That's just crazy.
Look, I've heard your name
around the precinct.
I know the circles you travel in.
The occult, demonology, exorcisms.
Just before my sister was committed,
she became deeply paranoid.
She started talking about demons,
angels.
Now, I think someone got to her,
Mr. Constantine.
I think they brainwashed her
into stepping off that roof.
Some kind of legion or cult.
Sounds like a theory, detective.
Good luck.
I thought with your background,
you could at least...
...point me in the right direction.
Yeah, okay, sure.
It wasn't a suicide.
My sister was a devout Catholic.
Do you understand that?
If she took her own life...
Her soul would go straight to hell...
...where she'd be ripped apart over
and over in screaming, brutal agony...
...for all eternity. That it?
That about right?
Goddamn you.
Detective.
What if I told you that God
and the devil made a wager...
...a kind of standing bet
for the souls of all mankind?
I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
Humor me. No direct contact with
humans. That would be the rule.
- Just influence. See who would win.
- Okay, I'm humoring you.
- Why?
- Who knows.
- Maybe just for the fun of it. No telling.
- Oh, so it's fun.
It's fun when a man beats his wife to
death, when a mother drowns her baby.
And you think the devil is responsible?
People are evil, Mr. Constantine. People.
You're right. We're born
capable of terrible things.
Then sometimes something else comes
along and gives us just the right nudge.
Well, this has been real educational...
...but I don't believe in the devil.
You should. He believes in you.
It's a power outage.
Not likely.
- What?
- We should go. Now.
What is that?
Wings.
Maybe talons.
You're kidding. Of what?
Something that's not
supposed to be here.
That's really not going to help.
- Close your eyes.
- Why?
Suit yourself.
Demons stay in hell, huh?
Tell them that.
Don't worry. Happens to everyone
the first time.
It's the sulfur.
Sulfur.
What were those things?
Demons.
- Scavengers of the damned.
- No, no. It's impossible.
Yeah. And I don't think
they were after me.
You really believe
she wouldn't commit suicide.
Isabel?
Never in a million years.
Well, let's be sure.
Let's see if she's in hell.
Oh, was it supposed to be hot or cold?
In front of the chair.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
- These are all Isabel's things?
- Yeah.
- How about the cat?
- Duck?
Yeah, why?
Duck.
Oh, you think that's strange.
Cats are good.
Half in, half out anyway.
If this is some kind of spell
or something...
...don't you need candles
and a pentagram for it to work?
Why, do you have any?
- This is crazy.
- Yes.
I need you to leave.
- I'm sorry?
- Angela, please.
The apartment.
Okay.
Be careful with that cat.
God, I hate this part.
- Isabel.
- Constantine.
Angela.
Jesus.
- Constantine, what...?
- Twins.
Jesus. What?
- You were twins.
- What did you say?
- She killed herself.
- What?
And she's damned for it.
How is this possible?
I need to eat.
Hey! Hey, what are you doing in here?
Relax, man.
Slow down!
What the hell kind of place is this?
John.
When I was a kid, I could see things.
Things humans aren't supposed to see.
Things you shouldn 't have to see.
My parents were normal.
They did what most parents would do.
They made it worse.
You think you're crazy long enough...
...you find a way out.
- You tried to kill yourself.
- I didn 't try anything.
Officially, I was dead for two minutes.
But when you cross over...
...time stops.
Take it from me,
two minutes in hell is a lifetime.
When I came back...
...I knew...
...all the things I could see were real.
Heaven and hell are right here.
Behind every wall, every window.
The world behind the world,
and we're smack in the middle.
Angels and demons can't
cross over onto our plane.
So instead we get
what I call half-breeds.
The influence peddlers.
They can only whisper in our ears, but
a single word can give you courage...
...or turn your favorite pleasure
into your worst nightmare.
Those with the demon 's touch...
...like those part angel,
living alongside us.
They call it the balance.
I call it hypocritical bullshit.
So when a half-breed breaks the rules...
...I deport their sorry ass
straight back to hell.
I don't get them all...
...but I've been hoping to get enough
to ensure my...
...retirement.
- I don't understand.
I'm a suicide, Angela.
When I die, the rules say
I've got just one place to go.
You're trying to buy your way
into heaven.
What would you do
if you were sentenced to a prison...
...where half the inmates
were put there by you?
I guess God has a plan for all of us.
God's a kid with an ant farm, lady.
He's not planning anything.
When we were little...
...Isabel saw things too.
Dodson.
Guard spotted him groping the body,
then he ran across the street.
Came in here, and he had a go
at the entire stock.
He drowned himself in alcohol
in under a minute.
Could've been a member
of my fraternity.
Hey, what the hell is he doing here?
He's okay.
Why didn't you call me,
you son of a bitch?
Yes?
What do you mean?
What?
How?
Got it. Bye.
I need to see where Isabel died.
Séances, Ouija boards, channeling.
Our father thought she was
just trying to get attention.
She certainly did that.
She'd tell everyone about the things
she said she saw.
She'd scare my mother half to death.
And then she stopped talking
for almost a year.
So you had her committed.
Yeah.
How long?
Two weeks.
This time.
She'd get better, and then she'd
get worse. Recently, a lot worse.
That symbol that was cut
in the dead guy's hand...
...does it have something to do
with this?
I'm a cop, John, remember?
You don't walk off the roof of a building
without leaving something behind.
And I showed you everything
she left behind in that box, but feel free.
Maybe she left something else.
Not something a cop would find.
Something just for you.
You were her twin, Angela.
Twins tend to think alike.
- I'm not like my sister.
- But you were once.
When you were kids.
When you'd spend every second
with each other.
You'd start a sentence, she'd finish it.
You'd get hurt, she'd cry.
That was a long time ago.
That kind of bond doesn't
just disappear.
There is nothing here.
- Hey. Come on.
- She planned her death in this room.
She thought it up right here.
Right where you're standing.
She knew you'd come. She counted
on you to see what she saw...
...feel what she felt,
know what she knew.
- What did she do, Angela?
- How should I know?
- What did she do, Angela?
- I don't know.
- What would you do?
- I don't know.
What did she do, Angela? You know
what she did. What did she do, Angela?
You know what she did. What are
you afraid of? What did she do?
- What did she do?
- I don't know!
When we were girls...
...we would leave each other messages.
In light.
In breath.
On the windows.
John, there is no th act
in Corinthians.
Corinthians goes to acts
in the Bible in hell.
They have Bibles in hell.
Paints a different view of Revelations.
Says the world will not end
by God's hand...
...but be reborn in the embrace
of the damned.
Though if you ask me...
...fire's fire.
: : .
Oh, my, this is certainly not good.
"The sins of the father would only
be exceeded by the sins of the son."
- Whose son?
- But he can't cross over, B.
- Impossible to cross over.
- Whose son? God's son?
No, the other one. Devil had a son too.
Here it is.
This is the sign of Mammon...
...the son of the devil.
Well, hold on, it says here...
- Beeman?
- Yeah.
Sorry, I'm...
I'm sorry, no, I'm right here.
It says Mammon has no patience
for his father's rule...
...and yearns to forge his own kingdom
of fire and blood.
Yeah. Mammon would be
the last demon...
...we'd ever want crossing over
to our plane.
No, wait, wait, wait. I'm reading.
Seems to be a loophole.
Always a catch.
It says first Mammon would have to
possess a very, very powerful psychic.
- Isabel.
- But that wouldn 't be enough.
To cross over, Mammon would need
divine assistance.
To cross over, Mammon would need
the help of God.
- The help of God?
- It says...
- Beeman?
- John, look...
...I know you've never had much faith,
you've never had much reason to...
...but that doesn 't mean
that we don 't have faith...
...in you.
Beeman? Beeman?
Drive. Fast.
Beeman!
Sulfur.
Beeman!
Beeman!
Wasn't just Isabel.
I used to see things too.
But...
...you already knew that, didn't you?
- Go home, Angela.
I need to understand.
You don't wanna know
what's out there, trust me.
I'm stronger than Isabel.
Your sister embraced her gift,
you denied yours. Denial is a better idea.
It's why you're still alive.
Stick with me, that will change.
I don't need another ghost
following me.
John, they killed my sister.
I'd trade places with her if I could.
I used to pretend that I didn't.
That I didn't see things.
And...
...by the time we were
they started forcing her to take...
...antipsychotics...
...and have treatments.
They would come for her...
...and she'd look at me,
and she'd say to me, "Tell them.
Why don't you tell them, Angie,
that you can see them too?"
But I lied.
I said:
"I don't see anything."
Until one day...
...I finally stopped seeing.
I abandoned her, John.
I left her all alone.
I need to see what she saw.
Please.
You do this, there's no turning back.
You see them...
...they see you.
Understand?
Yeah.
Sure.
So do I have to take the rest of
my clothes off, or can I leave them on?
John?
I'm thinking.
John?
On is fine.
- So why water?
- It's a universal conduit.
Lubricates the transition
from one plane to another.
- Now ask me if there's water in hell.
- Is there water in hell?
Sit.
Normally, only a portion of the body
has to be suspended...
...but you wanted the crash course.
Yeah, I wanted the crash course.
So...
So, what's gonna happen?
Lie down.
- What do you mean lie down?
- You have to be fully submerged.
For how long?
As long as it takes.
Take a deep one.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, all those people.
Oh, Isabel.
I've always known.
I've always known where they are.
I've always known where to find them...
...where to aim and where to duck...
...and I've always known
where they were.
I've always known that it wasn't luck.
Always known that it wasn't luck.
I've always known...
I've always known that I could see.
I've always known that I could see.
Angela.
Someone was here.
It was his.
Rolling.
Not a ball.
Something smaller.
Shiny.
Balthazar.
Sorry.
Can you just kill him?
What about the balance?
Half-breed tipped the scales
when he started killing my friends.
I'm just adding some counterweight.
John, I really want...
Think of it as a bulletproof vest.
I'm coming with you.
You're staying in the car.
Fire? I was born of this.
How's Mammon crossing over,
you half-breed piece of shit?
That's better. Au naturel.
"Stay in the car."
"Wait here."
Men.
Don't fight it, Johnny boy.
Enjoy it.
We'll see you very soon.
Not really, no.
You can't cheat it this time.
You're going back to hell.
True.
But you're not.
- What are you doing?
- I'm reading you your last rites.
Spare me your remedial incantations.
You do know what it is
to truly be forgiven?
To be welcomed
into the Kingdom of God.
Demon in heaven.
I'd love to be a fly on that wall.
You're not a priest. You have no power.
Just tell me how Mammon
is crossing over...
...and you can go back
to your shithole.
Okay, Bally, enjoy it.
"May God have mercy on you
and grant you the pardon of all your sins.
Whose soever sins you remit on Earth,
they are remitted unto them in heaven."
- How? How's he doing it?
- No.
No, I can't.
Grant your child entry
into thy kingdom...
...in the name of the Father and the Son
and the Holy Spirit.
Amen!
The blood of God.
He found it.
Whatever killed the son of God...
...will give birth to the son of the devil.
By the way...
...you have to ask for absolution
to be forgiven...
...asshole.
My work here is done.
- What are you laughing at?
- She was my only mission...
...and you brought her right to us.
So does this walking fast
mean you've found something?
Jesus didn't die from being nailed to a
cross. He was killed by a soldier's spear.
The Spear of Destiny.
I'm a Catholic, John.
I know the Crucifixion story.
I drew out the sister as you asked.
She's been made flush and ready.
So much power.
Now, if you grant me my resurrection,
I shall serve.
Wait. But I did as we agreed.
No. Please. No!
Beeman said Mammon needed
divine assistance to cross over.
How's the blood of God's only son?
The stains on the spear.
- Yeah.
- So he gets the spear.
He still has to locate
a powerful psychic.
Not really.
Twins.
Where's the amulet?
I don't know,
I must have left it in the...
What's wrong?
I don't know, I just feel...
- Bird on a ladder.
- Sorry.
- Wait here.
- Yeah.
Who's a rat in a dress now, huh, bitch?
Have you lost what little mind you have?
Don't.
I need to use the chair.
I offer no aid to one side or the other.
- The balance.
- Screw the balance.
You dare? In my house?
Is this neutral? Bullshit.
You're the only one still playing
by the rules, Midnite.
And while you've been imitating
Switzerland, people are dying.
Hennessy, Beeman, they were
your friends once too, remember?
I need your help!
Consider it a last request.
You play a dangerous game.
Two-hundred-dollar shirt, by the way.
That little shit has been trying to climb
out of his father's shadow for eons.
I'd hate to think what he would do
to this world if he ever broke through.
Forgot how big it was.
Two hundred souls passed through
this wood and steel at Sing Sing.
Yeah.
Which way's east?
How many years since you've surfed?
Like riding a bike.
No, not really.
Tell me this isn't about the girl.
Definitely mostly not about the girl.
Cold.
Little flavor?
- Sure about this?
- No.
Midnite!
- Any luck?
- That's a word for it.
Holy shit. You're Papa Midnite,
aren't you?
And how exactly do you intend
on getting close enough to use these?
Well, they did not leave her unguarded.
Half-breeds are most vulnerable...
...when their outer skin is breached
by holy water.
Certain objects, most notably
either of the two crosses of Isteria...
...have been used by even
the unordained to bless...
...commonly occurring waters...
...even rain.
Maybe if...
There's no use sitting on the bench
if you're not ready to play, right?
You wouldn't have one of those
enchanted crosses here in a cabinet...
...maybe we could take with us?
Look, John, no offense, I just don't think
that it's a great idea, you know...
...you going on a solo mission
to save the world. That's my vote.
I don't know what pops thinks,
but that's...
Take him, John. Kill him after.
If you get back, see me
about membership. Maybe.
Okay. I will.
- What are you doing?
- Praying.
Praying. Okay.
Come on.
Half-breeds, right?
A birth like this, they're definitely
gonna be guarding her, right? Definitely.
Yeah.
We can get through them. I mean,
that cross has gotta work, right?
Right?
It's not always like it is in the books.
What is that?
Hellspeak.
You know what to do.
I'm okay.
Sure.
One last show.
Hi.
My name's John.
You are in violation of the balance.
Leave immediately...
...or I will deport you.
All of you.
Go to hell.
Holy water?
Angela.
John?
John.
Shit.
Pull!
Angela.
Angela, what is it?
Get it out.
Get it out.
Get it...
Oh, my God.
Not bad, kid.
"Not bad." You hear that?
You know why that is? It's because
this is Kramer. Chas Kramer, ass...
Chas.
You're right, John.
It's not like the books.
No...
...it isn't.
Into the light, I command thee.
Into the light, I command thee.
Into the light, I command thee.
Into the light, I command thee.
Your ego is astounding.
Gabriel.
Figures.
And the wicked shall inherit the Earth.
You judging me now, John?
Betrayal, murder, genocide,
call me provincial.
I am simply seeking to inspire mankind
to all that was intended.
By handing Earth over
to the son of the devil?
Help me here.
You're handed this precious gift, right?
Each one of you granted redemption
from the Creator.
Murderers, rapists and molesters...
...all of you, you just have to repent...
...and God takes you into his bosom.
In all the worlds in all the universe...
...no other creature can make
such a boast, save man.
It's not fair.
If sweet, sweet God loves you so...
...then I'll make you worthy of his love.
I've been watching you for a long time.
It's only in the face of horror
that you truly find your nobler selves.
And you can be so noble.
So...
...I'll bring you pain.
I'll bring you horror.
So that you may rise above it.
So that those of you who survive
this reign of hell on Earth...
...will be worthy of God's love.
Gabriel...
...you're insane.
The road to salvation begins tonight.
Right now.
I know I'm not one of your favorites.
I'm not even welcome in your house.
But I could use a little attention.
Please.
Come forth.
Hurry.
Mammon...
...son of Satan...
...I unleash you unto this world.
Lu.
What took you so long?
Hello, John.
John, hello.
You're the one soul...
...I would come up here
to collect myself.
So I've heard.
You mind?
Oh, go... Go right ahead. I've got stock.
Coffin nail.
Very fitting, John.
You know, when you cut too deep,
you cut the tendons...
...finger movement goes
out the window.
Let me help you.
See?
Sonny...
...I've got a whole theme park
full of red delights for you.
Well, aren't you a peach.
I didn't think you would
make the same mistake twice.
And you didn't...
...did you?
So how's the family?
Family's doing just fine.
Busy, busy, busy. Need a vacation.
Word is that kid of yours
is a chip off the old block.
Well, one does what one can.
He's in the other room.
Boys will be boys.
With Gabriel.
No accounting for taste, really.
They have the Spear of Destiny.
"They have the Spear of Destiny."
Or is it another one of your cons?
Go look for yourself.
You've waited years for me, Lu...
...what's another seconds?
- Lucifer.
- This world is mine. In time.
You, best of all of us, Gabriel...
...should understand ambition.
Son of perdition.
Little horn.
Most unclean.
I do miss the old names.
Time to go home, son.
I will smite thee...
...in his honor.
Looks like somebody doesn't
have your back anymore.
Father?
So.
So.
Yeah, what do you want? An extension?
The sister...
...Isabel.
What about her?
Let her go home.
You're willing to give up your life
so she can go to heaven?
Fine. It's done.
Time to go, John.
Yeah.
The sacrifice.
No. This one belongs to me.
No. You will live, John Constantine.
You will live.
So you will have...
...the chance to prove...
...that your soul truly belongs in hell.
Oh, you will live.
You will live.
Thank you.
No problem.
Human.
You don't deserve to be human.
Do you want revenge?
Is that what you're thinking right now?
Do it.
Do it.
Seek revenge.
End my life.
Go on.
Be the hand of God.
It's your choice.
It's always been your choice.
Yeah.
That's called pain.
Get used to it.
You could've shot me, John!
You chose a higher path!
Look how well you're doing!
Nice spot.
I have something for you.
Something tells me
you're not a flowers kind of guy.
Oh, how thoughtful.
John...
...why are you giving me this?
Rules.
Hide it.
Somewhere no one
will ever be able to find it.
Not even me.
Always a catch.
Yeah.
So.
I've got some cleaning up to do.
I'll...
...see you around.
I'd like that.
I guess there's a plan for all of us.
I had to die...
...twice...
...just to figure that out.
Like the book says, he works his work
in mysterious ways.
Some people like it...
...some people don 't.
You did good, kid.