Wallace And Gromit In The Curse Of The Were Rabbit
Script - Dialogue Transcript
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Wallace And Gromit In The Curse Of The Were Rabbit
Script
Cracking job, Gromit.
Hang on, old chum.
- What's going on?
- Who is it?
Reel him in, lad.
To me. To me.
Gotcha! Thieving monster.
Me prize pumpkin.
Me little baby. Me pride and joy.
You've saved it, Anti-Pesto.
it was nothing at all, Mrs...
- Everything's under control.
- Oh, no!
Don't worry, madam.
Thank you, Mr. Wallace.
All in a night's work, Mrs. Mulch.
Cute little feller, isn't he?
You'd never believe
they'd cause so much damage.
Oh, he may look innocent, sir.
But left to his own devices,
this is the ultimate
vegetable-destroying machine.
Reg, me teeth!
Job well done, lad.
Subject disarmed and neutralized.
Bless you, Anti-Pesto.
With you out there protecting our veg,
the most important event
of the year is safe.
Aye. And I hope they give them pests
what's coming to 'em, and all.
Amen to that, Mrs. Mulch.
it was a long, hard night
last night, Gromit.
I’ll need a good, hearty
breakfast under me belt.
Pile it up, lad.
I’m in the mood for food!
Gromit, old pal.
it’s happened again.
I’ll need assistance.
Well, thanks, chuck.
I’m sure that hole's getting smaller.
Another successful night.
How are the inmates?
Must be getting
a bit full down there.
Talking of which.
Now, for a great big plate of...
...vegetables.
Still got me on the diet, eh, Gromit?
Watching me shape?
There's a good dog.
Gromit, lad?
How is that prize melon
of yours coming on?
Must be a while
since you measured it.
Lovely food. For rabbits, that is.
As for me, I need something
a bit more cheesy.
Caught red-handed, eh, lad?
I’m sorry, Gromit.
l know you're doing this
for my own good,
but the fact is
I’m just crackers about cheese.
Look, if I must change me ways,
at least let me do it my way.
With technology.
it’s time we tried my latest invention,
the Mind Manipulation-omatic.
it extracts unwanted
thoughts and desires.
l haven't tested it yet,
but it should be perfectly safe.
Just a bit of harmless
brain alteration, that's all.
Anti-Pesto Humane Pest Control.
How might we be of assistance?
Yes. Lady Tottington here
of Tottington Hall.
Your Ladyship.
This is an honor.
it’s a disaster. I have
the most terrible rabbit problem.
The competition's only days away.
You simply have to do something.
Certainly, ma'am. I think we're
about to go up in the world, lad.
Just stay right where you are,
your Ladyship,
and we'll be with you in an...
in an hour? I can't wait an hour.
l have a major infestation.
Hello? Hello?
That's more like it.
Thank goodness you've...
What ho! For you, my love.
Victor. How lovely and... unexpected.
Heard you had a spot of rabbit bother
and toodled on over
to sort the blighters out.
Gosh, that's awfully sweet of you.
But you really needn't bother.
it’s no bother, little boo-boo. it’s
the least a chap can do for his filly.
Don't want pests spoiling
our beautiful manor house, do we?
''Our'' manor house?
No one's mentioned marriage, Victor.
All in good time, my dear.
Vermin first, though, what what.
Come on, Phillip.
Victor!
We can deal with this humanely.
Very classy.
Just the sort of client
we should be dealing with, eh, lad?
Burrowing bounders!
They must be breeding like...
...well, rabbits.
Only one thing for it, lad.
Victor, hadn't we agreed?
No more thoughtless killing.
Quite right, my dear.
So I’ve thought this one through
very carefully.
it’s off to bunny heaven
for you, big ears.
Victor! No!
What the...?
Champion sucker, eh, Gromit?
The BunVac .
This'll impress her Ladyship.
l don't understand.
it should have been a bull's-eye.
Oh, Victor. I felt we'd
made a real breakthrough
with this hunting obsession of yours.
l really thought you'd changed.
I’m sorry, Campanula,
but I am what I am.
There's no nonsense
with Victor Quartermaine.
What you see is what you get.
What the...?
Sounds like a really big brute,
this one.
Give it some more welly.
Gosh!
Maybe I should've
used a bigger nozzle.
Anti-Pesto, you're here.
Your Ladyship.
My darlings!
You're safe.
My word!
What a fabulous job you've done.
And not a single one harmed.
The old BV ma'am.
Capable of RPM.
That's rabbits per minute.
How inspired!
- Mr...?
- Oh, Wallace.
Mr. Wallace.
is this all of them?
Just one left.
Hoist her up, Gromit.
Victor, stop fooling around in the dirt
and have a look at this.
The ingenious Anti-Pesto
have completely dealt
with my rabbit problem.
- isn’t it marvelous?
- Marvelous?
Marvelous?
This confounded contraption
virtually suffocated me!
Besides, the job's only half done.
How do you intend
to finish these vermin off?
Crush 'em? Liquidize 'em?
- They're humane.
- Humane?
Well, then perhaps they'd be humane
enough to give me back my dignity.
l want...
Toupee, please.
Oh, grand.
We take check or cash.
Toupee, you idiot!
My hair is in your machine.
Oh, no, it's only rabbits in there.
The hare, I think you'll find,
is a much larger mammal.
Out of my way, fool.
I’m sorry, my dear, but I refuse
to suffer any further humiliation
at the hands of these
blundering nitwits.
l therefore bid you good day.
Thank you for ridding me
of a real problem, Mr. Wallace.
Tell me, what exactly will you do
with all these rabbits?
Trade secret.
Yes. I’d be happy to let them roam free
if it wasn't for the competition.
But they do so love their veg.
it’s in their little bunny natures,
and you can't change that, can you?
No.
Or can you?
Why didn't we think of it before, lad?
The solution to all
our storage problems.
Simply by connecting the BunVac
to the Mind Manipulation-omatic,
we can brainwash the bunnies.
Rabbit rehabilitation.
Once cured of their antisocial
veg-ravaging behavior,
the rabbits can be safely released
without fear of re-offending.
Just a little added lunar power
to enhance the mind waves...
...and we can begin.
Veg, bad.
Veg, bad.
Veg, bad.
Say no to carrots,
cabbage and cauliflower.
Well, come on, lad,
what are you waiting for?
Turn on the BunVac.
Full suction.
it’s working, Gromit.
it’s working!
Their tiny bunny brains
are being saturated
in my veg-free mind waves.
Another minutes
brainwashing should suffice.
Then we can move on
to the conditioning.
Gromit!
Switch it off!
Get it off!
Get it off me, lad!
Oh, thanks, lad.
Quick.
Give us a carrot.
it worked, Gromit!
A reformed rabbit.
We'll call him Hutch. Shall we?
Come on. Let's get the kettle on.
We'll see to him in the morning.
l feel we're on the cusp
of a real breakthrough, lad.
Mankind freed from
rabbit problems forever.
Lady Tottington will be impressed.
Good night.
Sleep tight.
And don't let the bed bugs bite.
Good night, Gromit.
Sweet dreams, old chum.
Protect and nourish the frail
and the weak, O Lord.
Protect and nourish the frail
and the weak, O Lord.
Let them grow big and strong
under Thy loving care.
in fact, let them grow bigger
and stronger than anyone else's,
so that the first prize might be mine.
Amen.
The harvest offering
to bind the deal.
We plow the fields
and scatter the good seed on...
He sends the snow in winter...
All good gifts around us
Are sent from...
Heavens above.
Hello?
Hello? is anybody there?
Mrs. Mulch?
Please, come forward,
whoever you are.
There's no need to be afraid.
You're hungry.
Then please, take what you like.
it is for the needy, after all.
No! No! No! No!
Mercy!
Morning, Gromit.
A pest-free night per... chance?
Lummy day.
- it’s a disaster.
- Me garden's ruined.
- it’s a disaster.
- Me garden's ruined.
- it’s carnage out there.
- Where were Anti-Pesto?
Simmer down.
Simmer down, now.
Right. One at a time, if ya please.
We pay good money
for our crop protection.
lf ya can't deliver the goods,
maybe you should keep your traps shut.
l never saw such cauliflower carnage.
Worse than the
Great Slug Blight of '
when there were slugs
the size of pigs.
Growbag's right. The slugs are back!
The slugs are back!
That's enough! That's enough!
Look, this flippin'
vegetable competition
- causes nothin' but trouble every year.
- Here we go.
- lf ya ask me...
- Get on with ya!
Know what? I’ll tell ya.
lf ya ask me, this was arson.
- Arson?
- Aye!
Someone arsin' around.
That's right.
One of you lot. A man.
- This was no man.
- What are you saying?
Does a man have teeth
the size of axe blades?
Or ears like terrible tombstones?
By tampering with nature,
forcing vegetables to swell
far beyond their natural size,
we have brought a terrible judgment
upon ourselves.
Hey! Give over!
You're mental.
And for our sins,
a hideous creature
has been sent to punish us all!
Repent! Repent!
Lest you too, taste the wrath of...
...the Were-Rabbit!
This is terrible!
What's going to happen to us?
- Doomed!
- Who's going to help us?
- What's to become of the show?
- We live for that competition.
- Get off me.
- We're simple folk. it’s all we have.
- Who will save us?
- Get... Hey!
A Were-Rabbit?
Oh, come, come, now.
l do believe the vicar's been
to the communion wine again.
What we are dealing with here
is no supernatural rabbit.
it’s a big fellow, perhaps.
But a mortal creature
of flesh and blood.
A matter easily dealt with
by a hunter.
Guns will not be necessary,
thank you, Victor.
Hasn't there been enough destruction?
l believe the killing
of fluffy creatures
is never justified.
l say we give Anti-Pesto
a second chance.
What? How on earth would
those tiny-minded buffoons
ever catch such a big rabbit?
Mr. Wallace?
Well...
With a big trap.
By Jove. He's... He's got it!
- Genius!
- Genius!
- Brilliant.
- What a great idea!
Clever.
You see, Victor,
there's hope for the vegetables yet.
Not the ones I’m looking at.
That's me boys!
Love, Gromit.
That's the biggest trap of all.
The ''tender trap,'' they call it.
And that's what we'll use
to catch this thing.
Yes, lad, a lovely lady rabbit.
How could any
hot-blooded rabbit-beast resist?
Oh, come on, Gromit.
A bit more, you know, alluring.
Very cheeky.
That's more like it, lad.
How can we possibly fail now?
You're a total knockout.
Stick around, lad.
Should fix back on quite easily.
Nighty-night, me lovelies.
Think big now.
No!
Don't worry. No. No.
Well, I’m very sorry, Mrs. Mulch.
We'll get there as soon as we can.
Mr. Dibber. Oh, yes.
Can I call you back? Mrs. Girdling.
- A tunnel you say?
- What do you intend to do about this?
I’ll look into it.
So where did you get to, lad?
l thought I told you to stay put.
it’s gone mad around here.
l thought we were
supposed to be a team.
How are we ever
gonna catch this thing
if you go gallivanting off
on your own all the time?
You're doing it again!
Where are you going now?
Gromit!
Grommy!
Really, lad.
You do realize I’ve made
a personal promise to Lady Tottington.
How is this sort of
behavior going to get us
any nearer to finding
a rabbit-mon... ster?
Hutch.
Oh, Gromit.
We've created a monster.
Hutch is the beast.
The lunar panels.
They must've over-stimulated
Hutch's primitive bunny nature.
And now, when the moon appears,
he undergoes
a hideous transformation.
Oh, Gromit.
This is absolutely...
...fantastic!
Don't you see, lad?
OK, so we've created
a veg-ravaging rabbit-monster.
But we've also captured it.
Just like I promised Lady Tottington.
I’ll go and tell her the good news.
Make sure he doesn't escape.
Bye!
Mr. Wallace.
it’s the beast, your Ladyship.
l bring great news.
Gosh, how exciting.
Please, do come in.
Well, this is simply spiffing news.
With the beast in captivity,
the competition can go ahead as planned.
You saved the day, Mr. Wallace.
it was nothing, your Ladyship.
So modest.
Oh, please, do help yourself.
Thanks.
l so appreciate you coming
all this way to let me know, Wallace.
Tell me, are you
a vegetable-lover yourself?
- They're... growing on me.
- Then come with me.
There's something
very special I want to show you.
Hop in.
- it’s very snug.
- it’s my Jacob's ladder.
And it goes all the way to heaven.
Welcome to my inner sanctum, Wallace.
My secret garden.
it’s a veritable
vegetable paradise.
l just knew you'd love it.
Unlike Victor.
He's never shown
any interest in my produce.
- His loss, Lady Tottington.
- Please, Wallace.
Call me Totty.
lf anything were to happen
to my vegetables,
l don't know what I’d do.
I’m sure you understand, Mr. Wallace.
l can see that you're
a true nature lover.
Oh, yes. Yes, I am.
At first, I thought
l could change Victor.
Now I’m not so sure.
Do you think a man can change, Wallace?
Change?
Oh, yes.
Really, Phillip.
The things one does for love.
Pesto.
- Mr. Wallace.
- Oh, Totty.
Totty?
I’d like to show you one last thing.
Something no other man
has ever seen.
My carrot de Chantenay.
Just smell it, Wallace.
- Feel its silken flesh.
- Oh, yes.
isn’t it the most sumptuous,
succulent specimen you've ever seen?
- Yes!
- Doesn't it fill your heart
- with desire?
- Yes!
Just imagine
what it would taste like.
What on earth
were you thinkin' of, lad?
Ruined a perfectly good piece
of fashionable knitwear, that did.
To say nothing of a relationship
with an important client.
it’s lucky for us her Ladyship
was so understanding.
Honestly, I don't know
what's got into you lately.
And slow down for pity's sake.
You'll buckle me trunnions.
Don't worry. I’ll see to this.
You stay here where you belong.
in the doghouse.
Right.
it’s heavier than it looks.
l know your little secret, Pesto.
- I know exactly what's going on.
- Your Lordship...
Yes. You think you can
pilfer my filly, don't you?
You think you can con
a woman out of her fortune?
- Who, me?
- Well, I got here first!
I’ve spent a long time reeling in
that fluffy-headed bunny-lover.
And I’m not about to let some
puddle-headed peasant poach her from me.
- Comprenez?
- Right-o.
I’ll be off then. Ta-ta.
You're not going anywhere, Pesto.
Not until I’ve taught you
a jolly good lesson.
Come on! Queensberry rules!
Put 'em up, ya little pipsqueak.
You're shaking.
Don't tell me you're a scaredy-cat
as well as a scoundrel.
And don't think acting
like a big girl's blouse
will get you out of it.
There's no mercy
with Victor Quartermaine.
What the dickens?
What on earth...?
Phillip! Attack!
Attack!
What the...?
Vicar!
Vicar! Oh, where the devil is he?
Do you want to confess?
l want to talk to you about...
...the beast.
Everything you need
to know is in this book.
- ''Nun Wrestling.''
- No. I meant this one.
Here. Here it is.
The hideous monster
plaguing our parish.
The Were-Rabbit.
So it's true.
The beast lurks
within all of us, my child.
The side that emerges at night
as the moon rises into the sky.
The side that
savagely rips the leaves
off any innocent cabbage.
Spare me the sermon, Vicar.
Just tell me how I kill him.
l mean ''it.''
To kill such a creature
would require nerves of steel
and...
...a bullet.
A bullet?
A bullet.
A bull...
What kind of bullet?
A bullet of pure gold.
Gold.
Yes.
Twenty-four karat.
Get out of my way.
Silly old fool.
Beware!
Beware of the beast within!
Perfect re-entry, Gromit.
This veg diet's
doing the trick, eh, lad?
l feel smashing.
So how's our rabbit-monster?
Hope you're keeping an eye on him.
What's up, dog?
Well, fancy that.
Rabbit ears.
That is a bit odd.
And what are you tryin' to say, lad?
What?
What?
What? You think that I’m the...?
Because of these?
Oh, no.
No. This is just a reaction
to that healthy veg diet
you've got me on.
it’s the toxins coming out.
Silly old pooch.
Thinking I’m the beast.
Next thing you'll be saying
is that Hutch
is turning into me.
Hey. What are you doing, lad?
Have you gone completely mad?
Cheese!
Cheese?
l do like a bit of Gorgonzola.
Oh, dear.
- Perfect.
- Ma'am.
- Now, let's see.
- Coming through!
The tombola's arrived.
And the bouncy Tottington Hall.
Splendid.
it’s going to be such
a jolly competition tonight.
l just know it.
- Ya don't know nothin'.
- What?
The beast has struck again.
That's what.
That's right!
No, you're quite mistaken, Mrs. Mulch.
- The beast is in captivity.
- Oh, yeah?
Then just take a look
at my wife's brassicas.
- Ravaged in the night.
- But I don't understand.
- Anti-Pesto told me...
- A pack of lies!
it’s not safe to bring
our vegetables here.
The show's off.
But this is simply dreadful news.
The Tottingtons have held
a giant vegetable competition
on this very night
for over years.
That's right.
Not even the Great Duck Plague
of ' stopped it.
lf only there were another way.
What ho!
it’s Quartermaine.
Heard you had a spot of rabbit bother.
Didn't this bit used to...?
Now. Now, let's see.
Where does this part go?
Oh, it's hopeless.
I’ll never fix this flippin' machine.
Me mind's just a rabbit-y mush.
Oh, Gromit.
l don't wanna be a giant rabbit!
The bounce is gone from his bungee.
Hey, presto! Rabbit rehabilitation.
But if I can't fix it...
Cheddar.
...maybe the other me can!
I’m inventing, mostly.
Look at me go! I’m a genius.
Awake! I can't answer the door.
Not like this.
Charming. I’m Wallace.
l already am!
Hutch!
Geronimo!
Wallace?
Hang on a mo'.
Wallace?
Hello? I say.
Open this door at once.
Totty.
Lady Tottington, if you don't mind.
I’m afraid I have some
rather bad news, Wallace.
Thing is, well,
you've rather let me down
with this beastly beast business.
- I suppose I have.
- Yes.
it’s obvious to me
that you have absolutely no idea
where this poor creature is.
And I’m afraid
you've given me no option
but to let Victor
shoot the poor thing.
Shoot it?
Yes. Wasn't an easy choice,
but the veg competition
has to come first.
Besides, Victor's promised me
it won't suffer.
it will be quick and painless.
How thoughtful.
l cannot deny it was
a difficult decision for me.
Because I’ve recently developed...
Hurry!
...feelings for you.
Feelings?
Oh, well, never mind, eh?
- Ta-ra, then.
- Wait! Wallace.
l haven't finished.
There's more that needs to be said.
Well, I’ll give you a tinkle, shall l?
Can't we at least shake hands?
Part as friends?
it’s not very convenient
at the moment.
Thanks for coming by.
Well, l... l...
That's right, my lovely.
You can say goodbye
to your fluffy lover-boy.
You gotta help me, Gromit!
Hide me. Anything.
Before it's too late!
Lad!
Your Lordship.
Good night, Gromit.
'Tis done.
My poor sensitive child.
Allow us all to share
in your moment of sorrow.
Yeah!
On with the show!
What the...?
Why you...
Of course.
The vegetable competition.
Your loyalty is moving.
Sadly, you won't be.
Come along, Phillip.
Everyone's been looking
forward to a good show.
Let's see they get one.
- Hooray!
- Mr. Growbag.
l... I have a hunch
this'll be a night to remember.
l just have a hunch.
All right. All right.
lf we must do this flipping veg show,
let's do it in an orderly
and law-abiding fashion.
Cucumbers, give way to melons.
Carrots, wait your turn!
- Aubergines...
- There's our bait, Phillip.
All we have to do now is wait
for our fluffy friend to appear.
Look over here, everyone!
it’s Victor!
- He's here!
- Our hero.
Please, sir, kiss my baby.
- Another time, perhaps.
- Kiss my potato.
- Not now.
- Kiss my artichoke.
- Look, just...
- Victor.
Campanula!
Victor, I have to know.
Did it suffer?
Of course not, my dear.
Not yet, anyway.
- Victor?
- Oy, you.
- Constable.
- Careful with them capsicums.
Listen, I don't want to cause panic,
but the beast isn't actually dead yet.
- The beast isn't actually dead yet?
- What?
Oops.
To the competition stand!
Cracking toast, Gromit.
I’m just crackers about cheese.
Monterey Jack.
Smashing Wensleydale.
Job well done, lad.
Quiet!
Quiet!
Now, listen carefully.
I’ve only got two...
I’ve only got one gold bullet left.
So leave this to me.
Yes, all right, I admit
the beast is still at large.
But the good news is your prize
vegetables are the perfect bait...
Bait?
...and will draw the creature
like a magnet.
- Keep still.
- My baby.
- There, there, love. it’ll be all...
- Don't even move a muscle.
Mrs. Mulch! No!
it’s not getting my baby!
Lovely food. For rabbits, that is.
- Come back!
- Come back!
Yes. Right on cue.
Come back!
Go away!
That's right. Come to Uncle Victor.
it’s coming for us!
Bingo.
What the...?
Hurrah for Anti-Pesto!
- it’s getting away!
- Get off, you stupid...
No!
Vicar, I need more gold bullets.
They don't come cheap, you know.
Victor? What are you doing?
l need it, my sweet. Emergency.
- Victor, no! Please!
- Come, now, Campanula, let go.
But it's my Golden Carrot Award.
This is hardly the time, my darling.
- Give it to me this instant!
- But Victor!
Cheese, Gromit.
The Golden Carrot belongs in the show!
No, the Golden Carrot
belongs in the Were-Rabbit.
Every man for himself!
Help! Help! Help me!
Put me down at once,
you great big hairy thing, you!
Stop! Stop!
Mob supplies!
Get your angry mob supplies here.
Put her down, you great ugly brute!
I’ll bagsy the lucky rabbit's foot.
Help me, someone! Help me!
Yes.
No. No, no, no!
Put me down! Put me down, you...
Whatever you are! Help!
What is it?
What are you staring at
with those beastly eyes?
Wallace.
Oh, Wallace.
What ever have you done to yourself?
Well, don't you worry.
I’ll protect you.
Get your hairy mitts off
my future wife, you big brute.
No! Victor!
You don't understand.
The hunt is off.
it’s... We made a terrible mistake.
No. You commissioned me
to rid you of Pesto,
and that's just
what I intend to do.
Pesto?
Why, you knew
it was Wallace all along.
Oh, all right.
So what if it is that blithering idiot.
No one will ever believe you.
And if I can't have your money,
l can still bag your bunny.
My eyes!
Run, rabbit, run!
l rather like your hair pinned back.
No, Victor, no! Stop! Please!
Victor!
You can hop,
but you can't hide, Pesto.
Beware the moon!
Stupid interfering mutt.
Stand back! There may be
a large rabbit dropping!
Looks like the buck stops here.
Eat karat, bunny boy!
Potty poo!
No one beats Victor Quartermaine!
is that so?
Consider yourself dumped.
He's in there!
- There he is!
- Surround him!
There he is! Over there!
Phillip, help me! Phillip!
Do something.
Destroy! Drive out the monstrosity!
Well, let's see how he likes it.
Wallace?
Oh, Gromit.
Well, at least now he's at peace.
The rabbit's gone.
lf only there were a way
to bring back Wallace.
Lovely cheese, Gromit.
Gromit?
Don't forget the crackers.
Cheese?
Cheese!
it’s me again. I’m back!
Gromit! You clever mutt.
Well done, old pal!
- Totty!
- Wallace! You're...
Thanks, lad.
Oh, look!
Well, I think
you deserve this, Gromit.
For a brave and splendid melon.
We've all got a lot to thank you for.
Every dog has his day.
And thank you, Wallace.
You've saved me
from a terrible marriage.
All the same,
it is going to be rather lonely
at Tottington Hall now.
Unless...
l have a little proposal
for you, Wallace.
I’m so thrilled you agreed
to go through with this.
My pleasure, Totty.
One for the album, Gromit.
l declare this bunny sanctuary
officially open.
When you're ready, lad.
Fire up the old BV .
Oh, it's simply marvelous.
My home, a safe haven
for all things fluffy.
l do hope you'll still
come visit, Wallace.
I’d rather got used to
having you around.
There'll always be a part of me
here at Tottington Hall.
Give it some more welly, lad.
Cheese!