Everyone Says I Love You
Script - Dialogue Transcript
Voila! Finally, the Everyone Says I Love You
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Woody Allen movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Everyone Says I Love You. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Just you...
just me.
Let’s find
a cosy spot...
where no one can see.
Just us...
just we.
We’ve missed
an awful lot...
what bliss it’ll be!
Oh gee!
What are your charms for?
What are
my arms for?
Use your imagination!
Just you...
just me.
We’ll tie a lover’s knot...
just say you love me.
Just he...
just she.
And what a perfect plot...
just say you love me.
Oh gee!
Oh my!
It’s finally springtime...
birds-on-the-wing time...
and what a lovely
day for love.
Just me...
just you.
Just you...
just me.
A bit of paradise...
right here for us two.
Just you...
Just me.
Let’s find
a cosy spot...
where no one can see.
Just us...
just the two of us...
just we...
mighty few of us.
We’ve missed
an awful lot...
what bliss it’ll be!
Just you...
just me.
We’ll tie a lover’s knot...
just say you love me.
That’s my sister Skylar and
her boyfriend Holden.
And that’s me.
I’m Djuna:
D-J-U-N-A.
Everyone calls me DJ.
I’m gonna level with you.
We’re not the typical family
from a musical comedy.
For one thing,
we got dough.
And we live on Park Avenue
in a penthouse apartment.
Dad’s a lawyer. I mean, I call him ‘Dad’,
but really he’s ‘Stepdad.’
Because there’s
original Dad, right...?
who married Mom,
and they had me.
And then there’s Stepdad, who
had kids with his first wife...
Okay, look, maybe this
is getting confusing for you.
You see, there’s Lane and Laura.
My half-sisters. They’re great.
A little twitty at times, but...
we love each other and have
a million laughs together.
And my stepbrother Scott,
who’s very smart...
but he’s in trouble with the family
because he’s a Republican...
which made my stepfather have
a stroke, since we’re Democrats.
How do you expect people on
welfare to develop initiative?
You mean someone who can’t
work should just be discarded?
Welfare does not work. It’s
the same liberal fantasy world...
as not allowing school prayer
and coddling criminals.
I can’t believe I’m having
this talk with my own son.
Unless Republican pods
in the basement took over your body.
Not pods, Dad.
Ideas. Virile, modern ideas.
A strong America. The
right to bear arms.
Arms? Guns?
Are you crazy? What’s up with
you? I just don’t understand you!
Relax.
Excuse me. Steffi, bring down
a copy of my will and an eraser.
If Dad’s a Liberal Democrat,
then Mom’s even more extreme.
She’s a guilty
Liberal Democrat.
He grew up poor and knows
what it’s like to work like a dog.
Mom came from money and
luxury and...
spends all her time doing
volunteer work for everybody.
She’s with the Civil Liberties
Union and Save the Whales...
and raises dough for the Whitney
museum and the hospital...
and she’s always
doing something...
Iike throwing some chic soirée
to help the N. Y. Philharmonic.
Lane and Laura go to Nightingale,
a ritzy school on nd street.
White truffles are
so much better...
Better than dark truffles.
My God!
My God, there he is!
-He’s so gorgeous.
-Who is he?
We don’t know. We always
see him round here.
She’s in love from afar.
We’ll find a way to get
her to meet him.
Please, no
humiliating schemes.
My mom is in with a patient.
Claire’s their best friend.
Her mom’s a shrink.
Years ago, Claire drilled
a hole in the wall.
We get our kicks after school
by tuning in on her clientele.
I’ve been having
these fantasies about...
other men and...
it makes me feel...
bad, and...
guilty.
I had that
elevator dream...
again...
and...
I’m in the elevator and...
it just keeps
going up and up...
and up.
Now you must
meet Grandpa.
years old.
Found him at Grand Central.
He thought he was in the park.
You must watch him.
Last year he wandered
out in a towel...
and got in line
in Times Square.
We sent Frieda
to get him back.
She’s our maid. I think she was
Hitler’s maid at Berchtesgaden.
But she’s the only one
who can handle Grandpa.
I found your
arch supports...
in the stew. How did
they get there?
Finally, there’s my dad, who
lives in Paris, but visits a lot.
He and my stepdad
are great friends.
I think he still loves Mom, though
they’ve been divorced for years.
They’re all friends, and they come
to each other with their problems.
I can’t believe it.
Giselle left me.
Look at this face.
She suddenly left me
with my best friend.
No warning?
Nothing. The two of them...
Did you ever see anyone so...?
I’m so distraught, over
this, I can’t tell you.
I’ll kill myself.
I’ll go back to Paris and jump
off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead.
If I get the Concorde, I could
be dead hours earlier.
Or, wait a minute...
with the time change...
I could be alive hours in New
York, but dead hours in Paris.
I could get things done,
and also be dead.
You didn’t see the signs. She
must have given you some signs.
You think I’m an idiot?
What kind of signs? Finding his
photo in her underwear drawer?
Or saying his name
as she climaxed?
-I don’t mean that.
-No, that’s what happened.
I just couldn’t put it together.
I’m glad you didn’t marry her.
I told you, ‘Don’t do it.’
I’d have been happy to.
I’m really glad. Want
some wine or something?
Anything. I must
have a drink.
You know what’s sad?
I thought everything was
going well, that things were...
You always pick
the wrong women.
-I picked you.
-We got divorced.
You were impossible to live with.
I was impossible? I love this!
You couldn’t decide whether to be
a psychoanalyst or a writer.
So I compromised. I became
a writer and a patient.
Wail find you someone.
We know a lot of people.
I’ve been trying since we got
divorced to find him someone.
Someone to match
his personality.
Honey, bring another glass!
I’m wondering if the world
female population isn’t too limited.
-You’ve had rotten luck.
-No, he hasn’t.
He makes rotten choices.
But does he want to spend his
golden years with someone?
Why my golden years?
You must think about those things.
Men age different to women. more
years, lilt look like your son.
That was so mean!
Don’t you laugh.
-That’s not funny.
-She’s got me in a home already.
Look, what about
Madeline, after me?
She was an archaeologist.
She was fabulous.
She was a nymphomaniac.
Okay, she had a
problem with fidelity.
I didn’t happen to see it.
But she was brilliant.
What about Carol? What
was her last name?
Carol was a poet and
a member of Mensa.
She was a heroin addict.
Yes, but I thought
it was insulin!
You know what
the problem is? Listen.
This is the problem!
He’s still in love with you.
I always said this.
Who can blame him?
Of course he is.
-That’s the problem.
-Come here, my two men.
I’m pining after Giselle.
Wail find someone.
I don’t know if we will.
-We will. I know.
-This is the problem.
What’s all the secrecy?
Why Harry Winston’s?
I want you to help me pick
an engagement ring for Skylar.
Congratulations.
You want an
engagement ring.
Right, we’re getting married.
Or I am, not to her.
I see. What size did
you have in mind?
What size?
Well, I know she’s not huge.
She’s not bony, either.
-Something simple but elegant?
-That’s it.
Simple but elegant. Exactly.
I told you he was the guy.
Like this one.
God, that’s beautiful.
It’s perfect.
It’s the most beautiful
ring I ever saw.
What would that cost? I like it.
$ .
$ you said?
Let me take it off then,
because I don’t think...
Actually, as I look at it...
it’s not to Skylar’s taste.
It’s tacky.
She’s not a Mafia bride.
Help me.
Here’s a lovely one.
That is pretty.
What’ll it cost me?
$ , ? $ ?
$ .
It’s more in the ballpark, in
the right neighbourhood.
-Not my neighbourhood, but...
-It’s a better neighbourhood.
What the hell, right?
We’re getting married.
Let’s do it.
I think it’s an absolutely
exquisite ring.
My baby don’t
care for rings...
or other expensive
things.
My baby just cares for me.
My baby don’t go for...
big Rolls-Royces.
There’s sometimes a doubt
about her choices.
My baby don’t care to own...
some -carat stone.
She’s sensible as can be.
My baby don’t
care who knows it.
My baby just cares for me.
He’s so happy since the day...
he fell in love in a real big way.
And the big surprise is
someone loves him too.
It’s difficult for us to see...
just what she could
possibly see in he.
But it simply goes to
prove what love can do.
His baby don’t
care for shows.
His baby don’t
care for clothes.
My baby just cares for me!
Nobody else will do!
His baby don’t care
for furs and laces.
His baby don’t care for races...
or high-toned places.
-My baby’s not much for sports...
-Gets out of sorts.
Like running round tennis courts.
I must say I’m glad that she...
He’s glad to say that she...
has made such a fine selection.
My baby just cares for me!
My baby just cares for me!
His baby just cares for...
My baby just cares for me!
Mrs Holden Spence.
Skylar Spence. I love it.
He’s taking her
to Le Cirque tonight.
-No kidding?
-I think he’s going to propose.
And I introduced them.
We’ve heard it, Dad.
I did. He came to work
at our law firm.
The first day I said:
‘This kid’s great. His feet are on
the ground. He’s perfect for her.’
Frieda, the pasta
has no sauce.
Bavarian pasta
doesn’t need sauce.
Italian pasta needs sauce.
The italians were weak.
Fine. Give me some pepper.
Your solution to rampant crime
is just to let criminals go free?
No. Charles Ferry
deserves a parole.
You want someone like
this out on the streets?
Armed robbery, assault,
attempted escape.
-He was an abused child.
-Have some compassion.
He went to prison for life because
of his horrible childhood.
Something you know nothing about.
-Then one mistake...
-Are you kidding?
A bad trial,
corrupt judges...
Calm down, both of you.
-I don’t want to discuss this.
-I can’t listen to this.
-I need my wallet.
-Where’re you going?
The Polo Grounds.
Giants and Cardinals are playing.
You can’t go out. If you want to
take a walk, go with Frieda.
But they’re playing
today, Labour Day.
It’s June, Grandpa.
The Polo Grounds
closed years ago.
-Rained out?
-Take him for a short walk.
No, I’m not going with Frieda.
No, no, not with her. I don’t
need a German Shepherd.
Take a nice walk.
You know what the kids say?
They think Holden’s giving a
surprise to Skylar tonight.
If you keep gossiping about
it, it won’t be a surprise.
I told you not to tell.
I’m going out. If Minnie calls,
tell her I’m at the Polo Grounds.
Minnie’s been dead years.
I’m not arguing that. But if
she calls, i’ll be home later.
is too young to get married.
If this was anyone but
Holden, i’d be against it.
No way I’m getting
married till I’m .
Then I’ll probably
live with a woman.
Why do you make these jokes?
You like Holden, right?
The problem is Skylar.
She’s a romantic twit.
Holden’s not romantic
enough for her.
So what? She’s going
to marry him, right?
I hope so. I want her
room when she does.
She should leap at this guy.
Skylar suffers from
white knight syndrome.
Since her hormones kicked in,
she’s hoped for some...
charismatic guy to
sweep her off her feet.
So Holden is that young
Lochinvar, all right?
He’s a young schnook.
He’s a schnook, but
he’s a loveable schnook.
What an endorsement! I’m
never bringing a guy home.
In the first place,
he’s not a schnook.
I’m a dreamer...
aren’t we all?
Just a dreamer...
aren’t we all?
In my dreams, each
night it seems...
my sweetheart comes to call.
He’s so charming,
strong and tall.
It’s alarming
howl fall.
He’s ideal.
But then he isn’t
real and I’m a fool.
But aren’t we all?
Can I tell you
how I see us?
How?
We get married and we live
by my parents in Sharon.
I could never
leave New York.
We leave my parents in Sharon,
right? We live in New York.
It’s just that we may want
more space if we have kids.
I want two children.
Two is perfect.
Two is perfect for me...
because four is...
really a lot and...
you’ll stay at home...
No, I’ll be working.
When not working full-time.
You’ll have a career. Journalism.
Architecture.
Architecture? Since when?
I don’t know, just
some thoughts I’ve had.
I mean, you majored
in journalism, but...
The important thing is...
that we agree on just about
everything, it seems.
Shall I bring the dessert, sir?
It’s time for
dessert? Yes, it is.
Excuse me a second. I’ll
just tend to a small matter.
It’s ready, just as you wished.
Think it’ll work?
That’s perfect, Umberto.
Glad you like it, sir.
Let me show you
my end of the deal.
That’s a honey, huh?
Set me back a bit,
I don’t mind saying.
I’m sure. A brilliant
idea. Very romantic.
That’s the kind of guy I am.
I can see that.
Here we go. I’m just going
to lay that right there.
Will that knock her socks off?
Shall we?
Go ahead. I’m relying on you.
Good luck.
Everything okay?
No problem.
-Shall we order dessert?
-I did.
You did?
You like take-charge guys, and
I’m coming through for you.
It’s not like you.
Anything for you. Umberto,
will you do the honours?
My God, it’s delicious!
Peach, my
favourite flavour.
-It’s delicious.
-What are you doing? Stop!
-Where’s the rest of it?
-What?
The cream and the cherry!
-I ate them.
-You ate the ring?
What?
-I bought you a diamond ring.
-You did?
At Harry Winston’s.
Where is it?
It was on the dessert.
Why?
-I thought it’d be romantic!
-To put a ring on ice cream?
It wasn’t my idea,
it was DJ’s.
She said it would give
it dramatic flair.
I ate a diamond ring?
I turn round for seconds and
$ goes down your throat.
Oh, my God!
Stay calm.
How big was it?
It was a big rock.
-I swallowed what, a carat?
-A karat-and-a-half.
You’d like two carrots?
I’m dying!
You’re not.
Something wrong, sir?
Just swallowed a little
jewelry, it’s all right.
-How could you?
-Enjoy your dinner.
How could l? Most people look at
their food before plunging into it.
Let me check your mouth.
This isn’t much of a problem.
It’s in an accessible place.
It’s an absolutely
beautiful ring.
A brilliant choice.
Congratulations, girl.
It is beautiful.
Look, she got engaged.
What is it, two karats?
One-and-a-half.
White gold?
Solid platinum.
That’s good.
-Harry Winston’s.
-How much?
.
I can get the same ring for you
for from my brother-in-law.
You’re paying for the name.
He’s a wonderful man.
Am I going to scar?
Doctors look at X-rays
but they seldom grin.
I’m always on the
outside...
looking in.
Maybe that’s why
I see the funny side...
When I see a fallen
brother take a bride.
Weddings make a
lot of people sad.
But if you're not the groom...
you’re not so bad.
Another bride,
anothergroom...
another sunny honeymoon.
Another season...
another reason...
for making whoopee.
A lot of shoes...
a lot of rice...
the groom is nervous...
he answers twice.
It’s really killing...
that’s he’s so willing...
to make whoopee.
Picture a little
love nest...
down where the roses cling...
picture the same
sweet love nest...
think what a year can bring.
He’s washing dishes...
and baby clothes...
he’s so ambitious...
he even sews.
But don’t forget folks...
that’s what you get, folks...
for making whoopee.
Just for making whoopee.
He’s washing dishes...
and baby clothes...
he’s so ambitious...
he even sews.
But don’t forget folks...
that’s what you get, folks...
Summer came, and Lane and
Laura got jobs at the Met...
and spent weekends
at the beach.
Mom organised a petition for
Charles Ferry’s parole.
Her new pet cause.
She even visited the prison and
was appalled by the conditions.
What we need are open prisons.
Space where the damaged
human spirit can heal.
Give them an opportunity to
decorate their own cells...
with their own
personal decorators.
And better cuisine.
European menus.
As for me, over the years I was
used to splitting summers up...
July with Mom in New York,
and August with Dad in Europe.
Usually it was Paris, but this
time he took me to Venice.
I think he wanted to get over
memories of losing Giselle.
All I can say is if we’re
talking about romantic cities...
they’ve got the most
gorgeous guys there...
and they can’t keep their
hands off you. It’s great.
The first week was just heaven
for me. Having a ball...
sailing on gondolas.
But Dad just seemed to
hang around the hotel.
Giselle was still
haunting him.
I’m through with love.
I’ll never fall again.
Said ‘adieu’ to love.
Don’t ever call again.
For I must have you or no-one.
And so I’m through with love.
I’ve locked my heart...
I’ll keep my
feelings there.
I’ve stocked my heart...
with icy frigid air.
And I mean to
fall for no-one...
because I’m through with love.
I feel so guilty.
-You should have fun.
-I am.
I still can’t figure out what
went wrong with Giselle.
I always thought she
was a little flighty.
Want a drink?
I’ll have a beer.
A Bellini.
Let me give you this advice.
When a relationship breaks
up, and I hope they don’t...
Better to be the leaver than the
leavee, ‘cause the leaver leaves.
But the leavee is left.
It’s terrible.
The worst that happens to the
leaver is a little survivor guilt.
Survivor guilt is the worst thing
that should ever happen to you.
Tomorrow i'll spend with you.
It’s not necessary, really.
Don’t turn round. That couple!
-Don’t turn round.
-Who?
I told you about her. I saw
her check in the other day.
She’s lovely, but I
think she’s married.
Isn’t she?
Oh, my God!
Beautiful, right?
I know who she is.
You’re kidding.
Why didn’t I think of it?
She’s perfect for you.
How can she be?
She’s married.
Not happily married.
You’d love her.
Who is she? How’d
you know her?
My friend’s mother’s her shrink.
I know everything about her.
-What’s her name?
-I don’t know.
What do you mean?
What’s wrong with you?
Stop teasing me.
She’s an art historian, and she’s
here to see the Tintorettos.
Know what I’m thinking?
You’ve got that
look on your face.
She jogs every morning.
You can bump into her.
No thanks. She’s married.
I’m telling you, not
happily married.
Complete mismatch.
The guy is some actor.
He won’t interfere tomorrow,
he sleeps late. No problem.
You can meet her. She’ll be
alone. I know it for a fact.
I’m out of shape.
I can’t jog.
I haven’t touched my
treadmill in weeks.
weeks, that’s years.
Stop looking at me
like that. I won’t do it.
We’re going to get you some
jogging clothes. Tomorrow...
She is really something.
You’re going to jog.
Sorry, are you okay?
Yes, are you all right?
Do you know where
the Hotel Gritti is?
I think it’s that way.
Over there? Because I...
jogging in Venice is so...
Labyrinthine.
You okay?
Yes, I’m fine. You must keep
in shape. I jog every day. You?
I do.
You’re American?
It’s a great country.
The mountains and the prairies...
the oceans, you know, white
foam and everything...
Are you okay?
-Sit down.
-No, I’m okay.
Just a chest pain radiating
down my arm, but...
That’s your heart.
No, it’s stress. I get
it every other day.
What’s your name?
Here you are.
I was giving him directions.
You okay?
You wanted to do miles.
You okay?
-Yes, I’m fine.
-Just breathe. Breathe.
I nearly died. Couldn’t breathe.
Then her husband showed up.
Her husband came?
That’s rare.
So is coronary thrombosis
in our family.
Did you get her name?
Von. Vonnie.
She’s passionate about Tintoretto.
She’s writing a book about him.
She’s obviously here to visit the
Scuola Grande di San Rocco.
I don’t know what this means.
Why all these art books?
She’ll be at the Scuola. He won’t.
They have nothing in common.
You bump into her. The groundwork’s
been laid. You say...
‘Didn’t we
meet jogging?’
‘The guy with the stroke.’
She’ll remember.
Then you impress her with your
knowledge of her favourite painter.
You’re kidding.
My art knowledge is limited
to Kirk Douglas as Van Gogh.
What do I know about this?
Trust me. Before we leave Venice,
your lips will be pressed to hers.
Unfortunately I left my
Chapstick in New York.
What is this?
‘The rapidity of
his brush strokes...’
‘Chiaroscuro.’
‘Outbursts of colour.’
I told Dad everything
I knew about Von.
He studied his Tintoretto book.
I told him her likes, her
dislikes, her deepest feelings...
everything from her passion for
Bora-Bora and Mahler’s th...
to her favourite flower,
the African Daisy.
I mean, everything.
When he went to the
museum that day...
he could’ve given a
course on the subject.
Hello again.
Goodness!
You lived. How are you?
I was concerned.
No, no, I was fine.
I went back to the hotel and...
had the concierge oil my
pacemaker and, you know, l...
Incidentally, my
name’s Joe Berlin.
Vonnie Sydell.
A funny coincidence. I see
you here, two New Yorkers...
jogging in Venice and we
bump into each other.
How’d you know
I was a New Yorker?
No, I didn’t.
I just assumed...
But you’re completely correct
to ask that question.
It’s a good question. You
shouldn’t be ashamed of it.
I live on th and Riverside.
Where in New York do you live?
In Paris. I was a New Yorker
but I settled in Paris.
But I come back to New York
all the time. I love it there.
What brings you here?
I wouldn’t come to Venice
without checking out the Tintorettos.
Because he’s my favourite
master in the world.
I just adore his work.
I’m crazy about it.
He was a deep genius.
The deepest.
The rapidity of
his brush strokes...
Chiaroscuro...
Outbursts of colour...
His capacity for
controlled gesture...
Born in only to
die again in ...
but that’s the way it
happens to most of us.
You have a real appreciation
of his work.
How could I not appreciate a
man who was short in stature...
but with a proud
and obstinate nature...
who painted outside the...
the academic conventions
of th century Venice?
What do you do?
Call me Joe.
I’m a writer.
A novelist, mostly.
Joe Berlin...
I saw one of your books.
I remember it had
a very sexy cover.
It was at the stalls
on th Avenue, the cent bin.
You know, probably the
get-acquainted price.
They’ll do that.
In the United States I’m
considered controversial...
but in Paris, where they
have an ear for literature...
they were quick to
recognise the genius of...
Poe and Faulkner
and myself.
Basically, you see,
I’m a simple guy.
My idea is just to live
in Paris and maybe...
you know, fall in love and...
take walks...
in the rain and...
Listen to music like...
particularly maybe
Mahler’s th.
This could be me talking.
Could it?
Mahler’s th, no question.
See, I’m not a...
what you’d call
a technology guy.
I hate it.
I know, I can tell.
I still work on...
one of those old-fashioned
portable typewriters...
So you haven’t succumbed
to the computer age?
I like the simple life. I like to
sit at home in Paris and write...
maybe visit New York a
certain amount, and in summer...
maybe spend some time...
someplace romantic,
like...
Bora-Bora.
I love Bora-Bora. Since I first
went, I still think about it.
Naturally, it’s beautiful.
At night, the stars are so luminous
you can practically read by them.
Read by them, yes.
Are you okay?
You got a...a little...
mist appeared
in your eye then.
I thought you were
going to cry, I swear.
No, I’m okay.
Is something wrong?
What’s wrong?
Nothing’s wrong. Something’s
exactly so right.
Wait here. I’ll
be right back.
All my life...
I’ve been waiting for you.
My wonderful one.
I’ve begun living.
All my life...
All my love...
has been waiting for you.
My life is sublime...
now that I’m giving...
All my love...
I got you a present.
An African Daisy.
My favourite.
What are you
doing tonight?
I think Greg
and I have plans.
How’d it go?
She was great. Whatever you
told me was right on the money.
I feel guilty.
Why?
Because I made her cry. She
said she felt close to me.
So? You’ve established a beachhead.
Now win the battle.
Remember to blow between
her shoulder blades. She goes crazy.
I won’t do it. What’s between her
and her shrink is private.
Are you going to give me a
map of her erogenous zones?
Are you seeing her tonight?
No. She’s married.
Listen, I don’t know Bora-
Bora from Walla-walla.
What do I know about Tintoretto?
I can’t tell the difference between
chiaroscuro and spaghetti sauce.
Remember to blow
between her shoulder blades.
I won’t do it. Plus, I use a word
processor, not a typewriter.
I hope you have something great
to wear. There’s a party tonight.
Party?
I want to introduce you to someone.
Dad...
this is Alberto.
Nice to meet you.
Hello. Who are all
these people?
Venetians. Friends,
guests in town.
Enjoying your
stay in Venice?
It’s the best.
She’ll tell you.
Dad, you should be
the first to know.
We’re getting married.
Wonderful. Tell me what
century and i’ll rent a tux.
This January.
Pardon me?
This January.
You’re joking.
I’m in love with Djuna.
We all love her, because
she’s adorable, but you are...
This is a jest.
January th, to be exact.
It’s his
mother’s birthday.
A joke, am I right?
Not at all.
Excuse me a second.
Come. I want to
talk a minute.
What are you talking about?
Sorry.
Tell me it’s a joke, or
there’ll be carnage.
We’re crazy about each other.
How can you be...? You
met this guy days ago.
So?
Are you having a breakdown?
Why, because I’m in love?
What do you mean, in love?
What does he do?
He’s a gondolier.
One of the guys with
a striped shirt and a hat?
No hat.
-What do you mean?
-He doesn’t wear a hat.
This is crazy! What
are you gonna...
Talk to me. You’re talking
about getting married?
That’s insanity!
Why?
‘Cause you’re going
to school, to Columbia.
You’re going to major in journalism
or law, not rowing.
People have dropped out
of Columbia before.
You’re not going to run off
with a guy you just met...
and who’s a gondolier.
He’s a poet.
A poet?
Know what rhymes with
gondolier? No Lira. Okay?
So forget it.
Hello again. God, what
a coincidence.
This is Joe, Greg.
How are you?
-The one with the heart attack?
-That was me.
Is Bernardo Bertolucci here?
-I wouldn’t recognise him.
-I have to meet him.
Mind if I go on?
-It’s a madhouse.
-I’Il get you a drink.
-Incredible.
-Is it?
Have you seen this place?
It’s unbelievable.
The whole thing is
like an old palazzo.
And it’s really beautiful.
But it’s frantic in there.
You look great.
Don’t say that.
Why?
I can’t take a compliment.
You’re terrific. Why
not? I’m sorry.
No, it’s my problem.
Why? Does it make
you feel guilty?
Maybe. I don’t know.
You’ve got all the answers.
I think it makes
you feel guilty.
You must have fantasies of...
maybe someone
coming along that...
You probably have
dreams about boats...
or ships maybe, or even...
an elevator that...
You’re on an elevator that goes
higher and higher to the top floor.
And then it doesn’t
stop, it just goes...
through the roof and...
it sort of flies
you over the ocean...
I think I’m going to faint.
I do.
Are you okay?
I’m a little overwhelmed and...
I’m glad you’re
leaving tomorrow.
Next morning,
we left Venice.
Dad flew to Paris,
I went to New York.
I couldn’t wait to tell Mom
about marrying Alberto.
He was so beautiful,
so sensitive.
My plan was to leave Columbia
and go to Italy after the fall.
Excuse me, that’s mine.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. It’s not mine.
We both shop at
‘Hunting World.’
That’s where I got it.
Now I know it’s mine.
I’ll give you a hand.
Bra, underwear.
Petrarch's sonnets.
What do you do?
Depends on the guy.
No, just kidding.
I work for the Columbian
drug cartel.
I gift-wrap
the cocaine.
Why am I so nervous?
I study at Columbia.
Is that right? My uncle
teaches there.
Math department.
I’m Ken Grisley.
Djuna Berlin.
Do I want to spend my life
making pasta and riding in gondolas?
The truth is, those canals
are awfully polluted.
Alberto was cute,
but Ken was...
hot.
Cuddle up...
a little closer.
Lovely mine.
Cuddle up...
and be my little
clinging vine.
Like to feel your
cheeks so rosy.
Like to make
you comfy-cosy.
‘Cause I love you
from head to toesy.
Lovely mine.
While i'd been away,
an awful lot had happened.
Mom bought Skylar a
drop-dead wedding dress.
Holden’s father and
my father made friends.
They discovered a common
interest - horse racing.
So they chipped in and
bought a thoroughbred.
And Lane and Laura had a
great summer at the beach.
But one hot weekend, with
everyone else out of New York...
they found
themselves in town.
We’re probably the
only ones in the city.
We usually go to Southampton,
but we have tickets to a show.
I love the city
when it’s empty.
Me too.
Me too.
To make a long story short,
they’ve all become close.
His name, if you can believe
it, is Jeffrey Vandermost.
He’s heir to the
Vandermost millions.
They both love him and one of
them'll have a broken heart.
Fall was especially
beautiful this year.
I like it better
than spring.
And with October
comes Mom’s birthday.
This year we invited Holden’s
parents to celebrate.
But just before they arrived
we had an unexpected visitor.
Happy birthday!
These are from my biological
father, all the way from Paris.
-Look, everybody!
-Know what it is? Caviar!
Could you put
this on ice, Frieda?
-Are you expecting a Mr Ferry?
-I am, yes.
You are?
He just got out of prison.
He has no family...
but we can be his friends.
You’re letting a
criminal in our house?
He’s paid his
debt to society.
-He has not paid...
-Don’t start.
Society forgave him his debt,
he didn’t pay his debt to society.
How’d I get a kid on the other end
of the political scale? I failed.
You didn’t fail.
If I was you, i’d
hide the silverware.
Don’t be rude. He’s
coming for just a drink.
You guys have everything.
Mr Ferry, hi. I’m Bob Dandridge.
This is my wife, Steffi.
Hello, Mr Ferry. Welcome
to our home.
I’d like you to meet
my daughter, Skylar.
This is Skylar,
and her fiancé, Holden.
-I’m the fiancé.
-Can I get you something?
Nobody gets behind me.
Right, sure. Can I
get you a drink?
Vodka.
Right, well, maybe
on the...? Or just...?
Straight up.
Honey, Mr Perr...Ferry. Sorry,
he’s lived among vicious killers.
-You said it.
-No wonder he’s skittish.
A lot of times a guy'll come
up behind you and swish.
You must get your blade out
quick. Stick him or you’re dead.
God! Have you stuck a
lot of inmates, Mr Ferry?
Enough.
The doorbell.
Excuse me, I need to
get in front of you here.
Would you like another?
Hi. Hello.
How are you?
Happy birthday, Steffi.
Thank you, Lynn. Thanks for coming.
I have someone I want
you to meet, Mr Ferry.
This is my good friend, Lynn.
And Arnold. This is my friend.
Mr Ferry is
just out of prison.
Parole came through, but
i’d have got out anyway.
-Really?
-What do you mean?
Ice the guard.
No pictures, sister.
What do you mean?
Ice him, and get out
through the air shaft.
Get behind him with a box
cutter, rip out his carotid artery.
May I have a glass
of white wine?
We have some inside.
You must be careful though.
Guy on Cell Block tried it and
didn’t have the angles figured.
Got his tit caught in the wringer.
-Take him on the terrace.
-I need to sit down.
Yes, the terrace. Big,
wide-open spaces.
You sure this guy
is rehabilitated?
He was in prison,
not a finishing school.
You know my sentiments,
but very happy birthday.
A birthday song
for Steffi.
Looking at you while
troubles are fleeing...
I’m admiring the view...
‘Cause it’s you that I’m seeing.
And the sweet honeydew
of well-being...
settles on me.
What is this light that
shines when you enter...
Iike a star
in the night?
And what’s to prevent her
from destroying my sight...
if you centre it all on me?
Looking at you, I’m
filled with the essence of...
the quintessence of joy.
Looking at you, I
hear poets tellin' of...
Lovely Helen of Troy.
Darling, life
seemed so grey...
I’ve wanted to end it.
Till that marvellous day...
you started to mend it.
And if you'll only stay...
then i’ll spend it with you.
Sweetie.
I’m gonna get some drinks.
Want anything?
No thanks, but can you get
Steffi's present from the car?
Here.
Enjoying the view?
I like any view after years
in that stinking rat hole.
Very vividly put.
Sweetly honest.
You know what solitary’s like?
No, I can’t say I do.
I went to NYU. I
didn’t live in the dorm.
Been a long time
since I smelled perfume.
Do I have too much on?
You smell like what I think
heaven would smell like.
Well, thank you. Very nice.
When you shook my hand...
I thought my heart would stop.
Oh, that’s sweet.
But remember, you’ve been
deprived of female contact.
I used to lie in my cell and
dream of someone like you.
I took a Criminology course
at college. Very insightful.
You got very sensual lips.
It’s a part of me
I rarely think of.
Can I smell your hair?
Smell my hair? Okay.
You know what? it'll be gone soon.
I’m thinking of cutting it.
Holden might like that.
If you were my girl...
It’s a little chilly outside.
I’d make love to you
in every room in the house.
On every bed.
On every rug.
On every tabletop.
We also have some lovely
Early-American chandeliers.
Let’s go
for a drive.
I don’t think it’s
such a good idea.
I haven’t seen the ocean or been
to Harlem or Chinatown in years.
No, it’s out of the question.
Okay, but you can’t
blame me for trying.
No, I think we should
go inside before...
Before what?
Before you break
your parole.
If I took you in my arms and kissed
you, would you dime on me?
Dime?
Turn me in.
Let’s not find out.
How was it?
Very interesting.
I’ve never been kissed
by a sociopath before.
I kissed you the best I could. The
only practice I had in years...
is with Vincent ‘The
Thumb’ Adatto.
Vincent ‘The Thumb’ doesn’t
know what he’s missing.
Can I see you again?
You know I’m getting married.
I could show the
world how to smile.
I could be glad...
all of the while.
I could change the
grey skies to blue.
If i had you.
I could leave the
old days behind...
Leave all my pals,
i’d never mind.
I could start
my life all anew.
If i had you..
I could climb the
snow-capped mountains...
sail the mighty ocean wide.
I could cross the
burning desert.
If i had you by my side.
I could be a king, uncrowned...
Humble, poor, rich, renowned.
There is nothing I couldn’t do.
If i had you.
He’s en route to New York
now, and he’s wonderful.
It’s been like...
a chance meeting after all these
years with a true soul mate.
He senses my every need. Like
he knows what I’m thinking.
It’s your fantasy come true.
It is. I still
can’t believe it.
You know, it’s not that he’s tall...
or handsome, but he’s...
He’s magical.
And he feels me in a way no
man ever has done before.
He’s romantic and sexy and...
I had this dream...
that I was in bed with him...
and he was kissing my earlobes...
and then he started stroking
my shoulder blades.
And I nearly had an orgasm.
I had a lot of neat
stuff to tell Dad.
He’d really made a
big score with Von.
But now i've got to
stop for a minute...
because no matter how we humans
like to think we control things...
that’s not how it works.
Suddenly, with no warning...
Grandpa died.
It was in his sleep, peaceful,
with no suffering...
but it made
philosophers of us all.
When your number is up,
your number is up.
That’s why it’s important that...
we cherish each
moment of our lives.
And not smoke.
Smoke?
Pop smoked for
years, you know?
He never exercised. He ate
cholesterol and fatty foods.
He died at a healthy,
ripe old age.
I haven’t had steak
for so long. I love steak.
That’s disgusting.
I’d kill for some
marbleised meat.
Now they say
cups of coffee a day...
prevents colon
cancer.
Last week it was
bad for you.
What’s it all about?
I mean, what...?
What are we doing?
We’re rushing!
That’s right.
Where are we going?
Into the void.
-The void.
-That’s it.
-I never believed in God.
-Oh, come.
No, I didn’t, even as a kid.
I remember I used to think...
‘Even if He exists, He’s
done such a terrible job...’
‘it’s a wonder people don’t file
a class action suit against Him.’
You shouldn’t say that.
We’re not here just because
of the new physics.
You must believe in something.
The dignity of man.
The flat tax, the right to bear
arms and school prayer.
If nobody’s out there,
who’re they praying to?
Don’t start arguing in
front of Grandpa now.
I can’t believe you.
One moment. He wasn’t an atheist
or a Republican, or a Democrat.
He must’ve been something.
He was a foot fetishist.
The only group I
remember he belonged to.
-That’s true.
-It drove your mother crazy.
Pop, is that you?
I have one message for you.
You work and work
for years and years...
always on the go.
You never take a minute off...
too busy making dough.
Someday, you say,
you’ll have your fun...
when you’re a millionaire.
Imagine all the fun you’ll have...
in your old rocking chair.
Enjoy yourself...
it’s later than you think.
Enjoy yourself...
while you’re still in the pink.
The years go by...
as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself...
it’s later than you think.
Another birthday’s here and
gone, you’ve turned another page.
Suddenly you realise...
that you’ve reached middle age.
Think of all the fun you’ve
missed, makes you kind of sad...
It’s better to have had your
wish than to have wished you had.
Enjoy yourself...
it’s later than you think.
Enjoy yourself...
while you’re still in the pink.
The years go by...
as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself...
it’s later than you think.
That was ...
unbelievable.
Just every...
thing you did...
and all the...
things you did.
Absolutely perfect.
Actually, it wasn’t perfect.
At one point I stroked when
I should have hick eyed...
but you know, I apologise.
I feel limp.
You know, I’d really love you
to come to Paris with me.
I’m serious.
Paris?
And then Bora-Bora?
Well, yes. Bora-Bora, but
Paris first and then...
we’d work our way down
to at least one of the Boras.
We can live in
your garret.
Technically,
when I say garret...
it is a garret, yet...
And drink wine and eat snails
till the dawn comes up.
Snails?
Remember? You said you also
loved waking up in the night...
drinking wine and eating snails.
I said it was such a coincidence.
Well, they’re molluscs.
I love a good mollusc.
What? The wedding’s off?
Exactly. I gave back his ring.
Why?
There’s someone else
I can’t get out of my mind.
But you’re in love with Holden.
No. At least, I’m not sure.
And I can’t cheat on
him while I decide.
Cheat? He’s going to
be your husband!
In November. I’ll show you
the receipts from the caterers.
Calm your
denial mechanism.
Holden is wonderful, but
someone else came into my life.
I must see where it goes. It'd
be unfair to Holden if not.
Now we’ve bought the
wedding dress...
tell us who this new Prince
Charming is.
You don’t know him. Well,
you do, but not like I do.
I’m sick.
My oesophagus is in spasms.
Go have a drink of water.
Look what you’re
doing to your father.
Who has come between
you and Holden?
Well, he’s bright and charming.
Rough on the outside,
but that can change.
Who is it? Will you tell us,
or is this like a game show?
You remember Charles Ferry?
Pardon me?
For a minute I thought
she said Charles Ferry.
Now my oesophagus
is starting to move.
The escaped convict?
Ex-convict. He has
a college degree.
This is a psychotic episode.
You need shock treatment, or
industrial-strength Prozac.
Mom, you understand.
He’s incredibly animalistic.
So we turn him
over to the zoo.
And yet, he’s a child.
Okay, we’ll make
it the children’s zoo.
He’s a criminal!
I’m shocked. You’ve been
singing his praises for months.
As a social symbol, not as
a person to be with my child...
How are you going to
go out with this man?
You can’t get behind him.
He won’t let you.
You scratch his back,
he’ll knife you.
Under all that veneer is a
very soulful young attorney.
I was hoping you’d find a
place for him in your firm.
Sure, as treasurer.
With Holden.
Speaking as a woman, Holden
can be very animal, too.
Yes, Mom, but it’s of
the gerbil family.
As your father, I forbid you
to see this man Charles Ferry!
You will marry Holden!
As head of this house, I
command it! I decree it!
Thou shalt wed thy intended!
Okay, let’s get a drink.
You sound tiresomely Biblical.
‘Tiresomely BiblicaI’? is this
Noel Coward with hockey?
-I won’t let her waste her life.
-She’s a grown woman.
You!
You got him out of jail!
This is my fault now?
Honey, what’s wrong?
Jeffrey Vandermost
asked Lane out, not me.
My God! How will I face
Arnold and Lynn Spence?
Is that all you’re thinking about?
We bought a racehorse together.
He’ll want to cut it in half!
We both liked him, and today...
he asked if we could talk
alone so I got all excited.
Then he asked me if I thought
Lane would go out with him...
to a dance in Connecticut.
He has a mad crush on her.
These things happen.
Feelings are feeling
and sometimes...
I’m through with love.
I’ll never fall again.
What are you saying?
You’re ! You’ll fall again.
Look, guys, I’m sorry.
I thought you’d be happy for me.
I hope in time you understand.
I’m through with love.
I’ll never fall again.
What are you singing about?
You’re not in love with Holden!
I’m through with love.
I’ll never fall again.
said ‘adieu’ to love...
‘Don’t ever call again.’
Incidentally, while Skylar was
breaking up with Holden...
I broke up with Ken, the one
I met at the airport.
Because I met this rap singer.
This guy is just so talented
and sexy and...
he just says it all.
I’m through with love and through
with all you motherfuckers.
Feeling mad shitty?
Burn down the city!
Take it over for the brothers.
Burn it up! Come
on! Blow it up!
Your eyes of blue...
your kisses too.
I never knew what
they could do.
I can’t believe...
that you’re in love with me.
I love the country.
The air smells so fresh.
Charles...
where did you get the money
for everything, and the car?
You know. Loans.
It’s a great idea to take
a walk here. It’s beautiful.
Yeah. What time is it?
Four o'clock.
Oh, good.
Just thought you’d want to walk
around and see the fall leaves.
They are stunning.
Amazing what you miss in the
joint. No seasons. A grey nothing.
What are your plans? Not to
work in the restaurant forever.
You’re right. Work all day for a
few lousy bucks? I got big plans.
Like pursuing a law career?
What?
A lawyer?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
You hear something?
A bird?
Here they come. Timing’s perfect.
I’m running as fast as I can.
Move it!
Gotta get out of here!
I’m going!
Back in action!
-Way to go, Ferry!
-Got anything lined up?
Who’s she?
She’s a friend.
Why’d you shoot? He
was emptying the register.
Take it easy! I got nervous!
Just let me out at the
corner of Park and rd.
Let me out! I want
out of this car!
Shut up!
I’ll be quiet!
Just let me out!
Shut her up, or I shut her up.
Get out!
By October, Von had gotten
up the nerve to leave Greg.
She got a ticket on Air France
and took the first plane to Paris.
Dad had given up his
flat on the Left Bank...
moving into a place he knew
would be Von's Parisian fantasy.
He began guitar lessons...
and even exchanged his word processor
for an old typewriter.
I’m so happy to see you.
God, look at your place!
This is out of a movie. Or a...
This is like my dream.
This is my dream apartment.
My dream view, right here.
Back in New York, it was Halloween.
That’s my favourite holiday.
All the kids in the building
come trick-or-treating and...
they all just look so great.
What a little moonlight can do.
What a little moonlight
can do to you!
Chinatown, my Chinatown...
where the lights are low.
In some secluded rendevouz...
I’m Chiquita Banana
and I’ve come to say...
bananas have to ripen
in a certain way.
When they’re flecked with brown
and have a golden hue...
bananas taste the best
and are the best for you.
You can put them in a salad.
You can put them
in a pie...yie-yie!
Any way you want to eat them.
It’s impossible to beat them!
But bananas like the climate...
of the very tropical equator.
So you should never put...
bananas in the refrigerator.
No, no, no, no!
That was great. Terrific.
Would you like some candy?
What a banana!
I’m so happy to see you!
I wasn’t sure. I was worried.
Holden, I’m so sorry.
It doesn’t matter.
-I behaved terribly.
-It was me, too.
-No, it was me.
-I missed you.
Me too.
I brought you some Cracker Jack.
He was so in love
with my sister...
that it didn’t matter that
She’d given him a hard time.
And Mom and Dad were so
glad to see them reunited.
He gave her back the ring,
but he wanted to be romantic.
So he put it in the CrackerJacks
and she swallowed it again.
The rest of fall was normal...
for us.
The only glitch was
on Thanksgiving.
Just after dinner...
Scott suddenly collapsed.
Everybody panicked.
There’s no cause for alarm.
There was a blockage in the
artery, but it’s been dissolved.
There’s no problem?
No, he’s fine. % .
Our scan indicated that the
condition began some time ago...
so if he’s shown any kind of
strange or weird behaviour...
It’s because his brain wasn’t
getting enough oxygen.
But as soon as his brain
started functioning properly...
Scott resigned from the
Conservative Republican Club...
and started espousing left-wing
Democratic philosophy.
Dad was overjoyed.
Just as proud as can be.
Remember I said New York
was most beautiful in fall?
I meant the winter.
At least, when it snows. Because
Under a blanket of snow...
New York is truly
gorgeous and...
surprisingly peaceful.
But when Christmas comes...
we’re not the kind of family
that sings carols...
and we don’t have a
goose or anything.
What we do is head for Paris,
to spend Christmas at the Ritz.
Put your finger here.
He has a fever...it’s a cold.
Should have put on dry clothes
after you fell in the fountain.
I’m okay. Go without me.
I’ll be all right.
We don’t want to go without you.
You love the Marx brothers.
I just need some sleep.
I’ll be fine.
I’m so excited.
I’m meeting this guy named Guy...
or this guy named Guy.
I brought you some tea.
It won’t keep me
awake, will it?
No, it’s herbal.
It’s peppermint.
I’d say hello, but I’m sick and
you always catch everything.
-What happened?
-What’s wrong?
I’m not going tonight.
I knew it!
-Nobody’s going?
-Von left me.
-What happened?
I have no idea, but she’s on
her way back to New York.
When she first came,
everything was perfect.
She said it was like a dream
had come true for her.
And then, suddenly...
this morning...
I want to go back home...
to Greg.
Really?
I don’t know what’s up with me.
Since when?
I don’t know.
Why?
I don’t know how
to explain it exactly.
Just tell me.
You know, just...
It’s not that I don’t
think you’re great.
I think you’re great.
Just for years i've
been married to Greg.
And he can be difficult,
and we’ve had...
our ups and downs...
certainly.
Since when...?
Look, I don’t know. It’s just...
I’ve always had
this fantasy...
that one day i’d meet
the perfect man...
and he’d fulfil my dreams
and I would have...
a perfect life.
And that fantasy...
I think, always sort of...
was part of this dissatisfaction
I had with Greg...
and my life.
And then you came along...
and you seemed to know every
secret thing about me.
Let me put it this way...
I have seen my
dream come true...
and my fantasy...
no longer tortures me.
I can deal with it.
But that’s so neurotic.
I know.
I’m crazy.
But suppose I said to you that...
none of this was really
true, that this is all...
a façade i’ve
been putting on.
That somehow I had access to...
your deepest feelings, needs
and thoughts...
and that I've been playing
this character just to...
win you over, to get you to
like me, make you happy?
If that’s what you told me...
then I'd say you were crazy.
So that’s exactly why
I’m not going tonight.
I plan to go to Napoleon’s tomb.
To lie down next to him.
-That’ll be my Christmas Eve.
-That’s so sad!
The women you pick!
No, you’re going out.
Someone’s got to take Mom.
You’re too sick?
-He looks terrible.
-I’m fine if I don’t move my eyes.
He has a temperature.
You’re not going anywhere.
I’m not in a Groucho mood.
It’s Christmas Eve, it’s Paris.
There’s a ball...
that you helped organise.
I’ll go for a couple hours.
Enjoy yourself.
I must stay here, but there’s
no reason you don’t go.
It’s later than you think.
Remember our first
Christmas in Paris...
the month before we married?
I do, because that was when...
I knew that someday I
would have to live there.
I remember it like
it was yesterday.
I don’t want to panic you, but
that was decades ago. Decades.
I know. I know
it was decades ago.
Remember that café
we used to go to?
Café Terèse or whatever,
with the cats. Remember?
Now i’ll tell you the truth.
I hated that cat.
Maybe that’s why you were
scratching yourself all night.
Was I scratching myself?
-That’s what you noticed?
-I certainly did.
I hated that cat.
I couldn’t stand it...
but now that café is round
the corner from my home.
You’re joking!
Why would I joke about
something like that?
You want to have
a drink there?
-Why not?
-Because we’re drinking here.
Why would I want to go?
We can take our moustaches off.
You’re having a nostalgic...?
I’m having a thing. Sue me.
I just thought it'd be fun.
We can’t...
Come on, we’ll take our
moustaches off, no problem.
-That I’d like to do.
-Me too.
Never thought I’d hear you
say, ‘Take my moustache off.’
Please.
Wail go.
I feel good.
I’ve had glasses of champagne.
Let’s go see this place.
You want to sneak out?
I do. We snuck out
before, remember?
Remember that boring party we
went to with the Wainwrights?
Yes, I remember, because...
we left through
the toilet window.
A guy was singing,
‘Climb Every Mountain.’
And you knocked over the punch
bowl, if I remember correctly.
Yes, but you let out the
shriek that got us caught.
Remember how we made love?
Do you remember?
-You dropped your cigar.
-I know.
I dropped the cigar and l...
You’re so drunk.
I remember us making love.
Remember the candles?
I remember the candles,
the hotel, but not you.
Unless you were
the one under me.
-Now you’re in character.
-I don’t know where I am.
-I’m lost.
-Come on. Let’s go.
-Our coats are in the car.
-Forget it.
It’s a warm night. Come
on. Pretend you’re young.
I could do for you.
You’re better off without her.
How do you know?
You never met her.
I know you.
So what does that mean?
A good psychiatrist...
that listened to you...
would think every time I’m with
a woman, you get jealous.
Why are you laughing?
I just wish you’d pick someone
who’d make you happy.
Like who?
I made you happy.
-I didn’t say you didn’t.
-I made you very happy.
When we weren’t at
each other’s throats.
Does this ring a bell? This
is why I took you here.
Does this mean anything?
Is this where we...?
This is it, yes. That’s why I
dragged you all over town.
My God!
-You remember this?
-We stayed up all night here.
I know. I held you in my
arms till the light came up.
Remember the song?
-I do.
-I still sing that song.
I learned it from you. That was
the first time. Remember?
I’m through with love...
I’ll never fall again.
Said ‘adieu’ to love...
‘Don’t ever call again.’
For I must have you...
or no one.
And so I’m through with love.
I’ve locked my heart.
I’ll keep my feelings there.
I have stocked my heart...
with icy frigidaire.
And I mean to care for no one...
because I’m through with love.
Why did you lead me to think...
you could care?
You didn’t need me...
for you had your share...
of friends around you...
to hound you and swear...
with deep emotion...
devotion to you.
Goodbye to spring...
and all it meant to me.
It can never bring...
the things that used to be.
For I must have you...
or no one.
And so I’m through with love.
I wonder what would’ve
happened if we’d stayed together.
That’s something
we’ll never know.
We’ve managed to produce...
a fabulous daughter.
She is unbelievable.
She’s got your looks,
fortunately...
and my magic personality.
She is wonderful.
And you’ve been very happy
with Bob, so that’s good.
He’s wonderful.
-You couldn’t have done better.
-No.
There have been a few
times, you’ll admit...
you did call me in an emergency
and I had to come bail you out.
I know.
Two major fights
with Bob, and...
one disgusting lump that turned
out to be benign...
though you were in a panic.
You were there for me.
And you for me.
And I appreciate it.
I think we’ve been
better friends...
than husband and wife.
Yeah, we probably have.
But nobody made me
laugh the way you did.
I love Bob with all my
heart, it isn’t that.
It’s just that you could always
push that button in me.
So why is that so important?
I don’t know.
Maybe we’re crazy.
That girl that dumped you
today, did she make you laugh?
I don’t know.
I have to put that...
behind.
Funny how life goes.
It’s amazing. Amazing.
Let’s go. It’s late.
It’s definitely late.
Christmas Eve, and late.
Let’s go.
Everyone says ‘I love you...’
the cop on the corner
and the burglar too.
Christmas Eve in Paris.
What a year!
And that sort of brings us
to the end of our story.
I told Skylar someone should
write it up as a movie.
She said ‘Better be a musical,
or no one will believe it.’
By the way...
that night
I met a terrific guy.
I mean, talk about sexy!