Voila! Finally, the A Face in The Crowd
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Elia Kazan movie
with Andy Griffith. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of A Face in The Crowd. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Somebody's looking for you.
Miss Jeffries!
Morning, Sheriff.
We've got what you want, we always
get a good haul on the 4th of July.
Good. Come on, let’s go.
Here she comes, Bill.
Come in, and see what we've got.
Wait, I forgot my tape recorder.
Boys, this is Miss Marcia Jeffries.
How do you do?
Her uncle owns the radio station
in town, KGRK.
She's been doing a programme,
maybe you've heard it...
"A face in the crowd". A mighty nice
programme it is, too.
I know this is a little unusual...
but this morning she's going
to do her programme from here.
Miss Jeffries, the jail of Tawny
Hawk County is at your disposal.
It’s very simple, you just talk into
this microphone in a natural voice.
We'll just chat back and forth.
This is completely informal...
so if anybody wants to sing a song
or tell an anecdote...
a funny story...
Let me see. Beanie,
last time you were here...
I heard you sing something.
I ain't got my teeth with me
this time.
This is Radio KGRK, the voice
of North East Arkansas...
bringing you its morning feature,
"A face in the crowd".
Whose face?
It could be yours.
Or yours. People are fascinating
wherever you find them.
This is Marcia Jeffries,
looking for more faces...
this time from the county jail.
Say something.
Don't worry Ma,
everything's fine.
Nicest jail I've been in
in this part of the country.
Hey you, you can do something.
I got black skin,
but I ain't no minstrel.
I'm sorry, Miss Jeffries,
they're just an ordinary bunch.
Where's the drunk from last night
with the guitar? What’s his name?
- Rhodes. That’s him lying there...
- Go and wake him up.
- Watch him, he's mean.
- Miss Jeffries, we'll wake him up.
Hey, wake up!
Morning, Mr. Rhodes,
I'm from Radio...
Get away! Get away!
The sheriff's here.
I don't care if the President
is here.
If a man can't get a little
decent sleep in jail...
Who are you?
I'd like to introduce you
to our radio audience.
Radio?
Join me in a little chat...
Wait a minute!
quit racing your motor.
What do I get out of it?
I mean, Me Myself and I.
Sheriff?
- What’s he in here for?
- A week, drunk and disorderly.
If you'll co-operate, I might
let you out in the morning.
Me too, I'm his manager.
The boys say you don't keep
your word any too good.
You keep your end of the bargain,
I'll keep mine.
Well, OK.
It’s a deal, tomorrow morning.
I'll sing you a song.
I went to Sarah Lawrence College,
I majored in music.
I learned that real American
music comes from the bottom up.
When Gershwin played at the New York
it was black tie music...
but the real beginning of it
was in folks that never owned a tie.
I just bumped into a fella you
never heard of, Rhodes.
What’s your first name?
Jack, or Mack,
what’s the difference?
Calls himself "Lonesome Rhodes".
Lonesome?
Don't be rushing me,
cut that thing off a minute.
Give me a chance to lubricate
my Adam's apple.
Nothing like a little medicine
to put you in the mood.
Ain't mamma a beauty?
A guitar beats a woman
any time!
I never have seen a woman
I could trust like this old guitar.
I love my mamma guitar.
She's always waiting for me
to pick her up and hold her.
Never asks me for money or goes
cheating around when I ain't looking.
If she gets a little sour, I just
give her a little twist like so...
and we're right back
in tune together.
Hey, Lonesome,
sing "Rye whisky".
Lonesome.
"Hallelujah, I'm a bum."
She can see that plain enough.
Whenever a bunch of fellas
like us...
outcasts, hobos, nobodies,
gentlemen loafers...
one time or all time losers,
call us what you want to...
Whenever we get together,
we tell funny stories...
me and Beanie
and the rest of these...
hand-to-mouth tumbleweed boys
like you see in here.
If whisky don't get us,
then women must...
and it looks like...
I'm never gonna cease...
my wandering.
But, deep down,
when we get ready...
to tuck our heads under our wings
and go to sleep...
we ain't kidding ourselves.
We're so low-down Ionely...
the fella we couldn't stand
the sight of this morning...
tonight, when the guards
douse the lights...
and plunge us into darkness...
why that same fella seems like
our nearest, dearest buddy.
Ten thousand miles
away from home.
And I don't even know my name.
But I ain't crying.
No, I ain't crying, because I'm
gonna be a free man in the morning.
You hear that, fellas?
A free man!
The sheriff's gonna open up
his cage...
and I'm gonna be as free
as a bird in the morning.
Hey, maybe I can try putting
a couple of rhymes together...
Sing something dependable
like "Home on the Range".
I ain't gonna sing no
"Home on the Range".
No, sir, not if it means
I rot in here another month.
I'm gonna sing
what I'm gonna be...
a free man in the morning.
Oh, good night, moon.
Moon, you just fade,
fade, fade away.
Oh, good night, moon.
Moon, you just fade away.
And hurry on, Mr. Sun...
bring on the new day.
Oh, bring on the sheriff...
with his great big old key.
Yeah!
Bring on old Big Jeff,
the sheriff of Pickett, Arkansas...
with his big old fat key.
To open up this nasty,
filthy jailhouse...
and make a free man of me.
You got any objections to
being a free man in the morning?
No, sir, I ain't.
Gonna be a free man
in the morning...
free man in the morning...
free man in the morning...
I know the reason...
All right, I'm ready.
Thank you, Lonesome Rhodes,
that was just fine.
You mean to tell me you
had that going all the time?
I'm a sneaky type.
Well, lock me up...
- You like him?
- Yes, sir.
By golly, I think you've got yourself
quite a fella there, quite a fella.
I'd sure like to use him on
our Early Bird Show from to .
Would you let me, Uncle J. B?
Hello, get me the jail, Gladys.
- The jail?
- That’s right, the sheriff.
Or should I say, our future mayor.
That boy may be bashful, Marcia,
but he's pretty sweet on you.
The only thing I'm interested in...
is running the best radio programme
in North East Arkansas.
Hello, Big Jeff?
- Rhodes?
- Yes.
That’s the thing, J. B...
I was only holding him
on a drunk and disorderly.
You've no idea which way
he was headed?
There's only two ways out of town,
and I can hardly see him going west.
He'll be on the east road.
Let’s go after him.
There he is.
Hey! Morning!
We've been looking for you.
Yeah? What for?
This is my uncle, Mr. Jeffries,
who owns our radio station.
Well, how's it feel to be
a free man in the morning?
Where you headed now?
Port St Joe, Florida.
That’s a long walk.
What’s down there?
Oh, plenty of water and
plenty of fishing bridges...
and snapper boats,
and tarpon rolls...
You know, I've always wanted
to catch me a tarpon.
What’s to stop you?
I can't afford it.
I've got a radio station,
newspaper, printing business...
I'm president of the Caguanas...
I can't afford it.
Come on, Beanie.
Listen, I ain't got but or days
to make it to St. Joe.
Unless I steal somebody's car.
Wait a minute, we've got a job
for you.
Every morning on our station,
to .
I don't want no job.
Why not?
Too much like work, man.
Do you have any money?
Mamma will always get me a meal.
I can sleep in a jail.
Come on, try it for a day.
How about if you had a plane ticket?
You can put it in your pocket...
if you ever want to go,
you just go.
Well...
OK. I'll try it for one day.
I'll turn around.
Let’s go.
Take him to the hotel
and get him a room.
And you better clean him up
a bit.
See you around, Beanie.
Get in the back.
Would you mind closing the door?
My goodness, ain't we fussy!
This wardrobe you got, I think
I better send it to the laundry.
I'll wash it myself. That way I can
cut out any time I feel like it.
So early in the morning?
How would you like to come
and get aquainted...
early in the morning?
We really do have to hurry.
I bet you never sat on bed
with a man before.
Really!
Look, I'll meet you downstairs.
Ladies,
or I guess I should say, girls...
the boss lady just shoved
a piece of paper at me...
says I ain't got
but more minutes.
That’s what I've got
against working...
it’s tangled up
with the word "hurry".
Back in my town,
we had a cousin named Harry...
they all called him Hurry 'cause
he was always running someplace.
Till one day he fell down a flight
of steps and broke his fool neck.
We put a sign on his grave
that said...
"He was in such a hurry,
he couldn't wait to get here."
Shucks, I was just going to add on
a verse about being a free woman.
I bet a lot of you dream of that...
with all the breakfast dishes
piling up in the sink...
and cranky husbands
to get off to work.
Ain't it a shame how they
get on about everything...
because they ain't got the gumption
to take it out on their boss?
Well, good-bye, dear,
I'm late for work.
I hate to talk against
my own kind but I never saw...
a man who could appreciate
how hard you women have to work.
They think running water over a dish
is all there is to it.
They never see you clean the grease
out of the sink...
or wiping out of the oven
the gravy...
or the apple juice that sizzles over
the side of the dish onto your grill.
How would he know that?
Listen to this.
"Dear Lonesome, though I never
set eyes on you..."
Listen. "I know you must be
saintly looking.
Only a saint could understand the
burdens of a housewife like you do."
They all say the same. They love
his voice, his guitar, his ideas.
They should know
some of them.
You're not fooling me,
you're proud of him.
There hasn't been mail like this
since you started the station.
Hello.
Hello, Wayne.
Oh, so you like the fella?
OK, I guess we can put you down
for three one-minute spots.
Thanks for calling, bye.
Well, advertisers are
actually calling to buy time.
This station will make
a little money yet.
Go easy on the advertising.
I don't think he wants to stay.
Marcia, you found him,
it’s your job to get him...
Honey, whenever you see
this well running dry...
you just come over here again.
That’s right, Lonesome.
I'm afraid that’s going
to be your name.
My real intimate friends
call me Larry.
You can call me Larry.
That’s a good chaser.
Did you always drink like that?
Not always, back in Riddle
I was pretty straight.
I didn't touch hard liquor
till I was or .
Is there really a town
called Riddle?
To tell you the truth it’s just
sort of a what do you call it...
Composite?
Compost heap is more like it.
Where are you from?
From all over.
Any town you mention for miles,
I lived in a day or two.
What did your father do?
He was a spieler
with a two-bit con.
"Now, if each of you hand me
your $ bills...
I'm gonna favour you
with a five dollar gift."
Still loved him, didn't you?
He left us when I was
knee high to a beer barrel.
You mother took care of you?
Never mind about her.
What about those uncles
you talk about?
Uncles?
If I'd a nickel for every time I
fell asleep waiting for my old lady.
When I'd wake up she'd say,
"Your uncle's sleeping".
I'd say "Uncle Lou?"
She'd say "No, this is
your Uncle Mike, Uncle Moe".
There wasn't a town in Arkansas or
Missouri I didn't have an uncle in.
Yes, ma'am. My old lady sure was
generous about taking in relatives.
Yet you grew up
so happy-go-lucky.
You put your whole self
in that laugh.
Marcia, I put my whole self
into everything I do.
You turned down my invite
to go out with this tramp?
No! Stop it! Stop it!
Thanks for the pies, girls.
You're going to spoil me.
Well, I reckon I've sung at you
enough for one morning.
Maybe I'll wind up with a joke.
Let’s see...
Yeah, I got one.
Sheriff Big Jeff Bess.
You say that ain't no joke?
The fact he's running for mayor
strikes me as kind of funny.
You know, back in my little town,
Riddle...
the way we elect fellas
to office is...
we try to figure which fella can
best be spared from useful labour.
Like, you take
the village half-wit...
Now, in most places, he's going
to be put on town relief...
but in Riddle, as an economy measure,
we make him the dog catcher.
But, now,
this sheriff of yours...
I don't say
nothing against him...
but if you've any mutts
you want rid of...
why don't you take them to his place
to see if he can handle the job.
Here, Whitey!
Here, Whitey!
How does it feel?
How does what feel?
Saying whatever comes in your head
and being able to sway people.
Yeah, I guess I can.
Yeah, I guess I can.
And now, an amusing example of
grass roots democracy in action.
It seems there's a small town
radio personality...
called "Lonesome Rhodes"
out in Arkansas...
who literally sent a mayoralty
candidate to the dogs.
Larry, Larry.
Just plough out through and keep
going, leave the rest to me.
Thanks for bringing up
my breakfast.
This is Mr. Steiner,
all the way from Memphis.
Mr. Rhodes. I'm one of the oldest
theatrical agents in the mid south.
I book a lot of acts for
the Grand Old Opera.
I discovered Hank Snow,
and Webb Pierce...
and the first morning I heard you,
I said to myself...
"Steiner, that man's got power."
Not just catchy songs
and funny stories, power.
How would you like
to come to Memphis, sir?
Memphis?
You put me in mind of Will Rogers
when he first came to Memphis.
I can make you a star, boy,
if you put yourself in my hands.
Shucks, I'm just a country boy.
I'm not even sure I want to stay
in this radio business.
I'm not one of these
hard pressure fellas.
But, do you mind
if I call you again?
No.
Miss Jeffries.
Grand Old Opera,
that’s the big time.
It never hurt none to play
hard to get.
You ought to know that.
You don't seem to be pining
for lack of company.
I get extra hungry
in the morning.
You cold fish respectable girls.
Inside you crave the same things
as the rest of them.
Tell the truth.
You're on in minutes.
It’s so hot this morning,
the creek gave up.
I mean it was bone dry.
So the young ones figure
they ain't got no place to swim.
But my boss...
old J.B. Jeffries,
he's got a fine swimming pool...
right here in town.
So why don't you kids
go to his place for a ducking?
J. B will be proud
to have you.
Can you hear them?
Can you hear them, splashing?
That’s your curly-headed
little darlings, enjoying...
J.B. Jeffries' kind of hospitality.
Mr. Rhodes, telephone.
He's on the air.
It’s the Memphis TV Station,
he says Steiner told him about you.
Well, shucks, I can talk
to him on the air.
All these folks are my friends,
I ain't got nothing to hide.
Hello there, partner.
What’s that?
You want me to come on TV in
Memphis? With this kisser of mine?
All I can say is
you're a brave man.
$ a week?
Confederate?
$ ?
We can do better than that.
Partner, leaving Pickett is like
leaving my own flesh and blood.
Now, if I've got to take leave
of these good folks...
I'd rather try it for nothing
for a couple of weeks...
and if you ain't satisfied,
or if I get homesick for Arkansas...
back I come and
nobody gets hurt.
But, if we find we get along...
you make it
a $ a week.
Yeah, you get the idea.
And transportation for yours truly
and my little Girl Friday...
not to mention Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday, Marcia Jeffries.
I'm glad you're going with him,
take care of him.
I'll sure try.
Take good care of yourself.
Marcia!
Come on, honey.
We'll be late, come on.
The train will leave,
come on.
Bye!
Bye Lucy, so long, Luther,
you write to me now.
I'll be thinking of you.
Am I glad to shake that dump!
I was only kidding, honey...
you should know me better
than to believe everything I say.
Bye! Bye!
Good-bye and God bless
you good people!
If I'd known you'd put lipstick
on me, I'd have never come.
Stop complaining,
you look beautiful.
This is Mel Miller, the station's
assigned him as your writer.
Writer?
You're gonna have an easy job.
I don't do much reading.
I just work out the continuity.
What are you, eastern college?
No, I went to school
in Nashville.
I was Vanderbilt .
OK, Vanderbilt .
Mr. Rhodes, we're ready for you.
Hey, what are you doing
to that make-up?
seconds, ready on one,
stand by two...
Just be natural, easy
and relax, real country.
When that red light is on,
that camera is on you.
Now, put this in your mouth.
I think that straw's gonna be
a nice touch.
Here he is, a newcomer
to Memphis Television...
but sure to become an old friend.
"A face in the crowd",
starring that Arkansas traveller...
Lonesome Rhodes.
What do you want?
Howdy.
I've never seen myself
on one of these things before.
So if I start admiring myself
on this...
What do you call it?
Monitor.
Monitor. Show folks
what I'm talking about, will you?
The director said
all I had to do was...
He said I had to act like
I was looking straight at you...
but he forgot to say there'd be
a redeye looking straight at me.
You know, it does look
kind of familiar though...
It reminds me of my Uncle Ivan
after a night of drinking...
that fine old five star
corn liquor.
He put a star on the bottle
for every day it aged.
If the ocean was moonshine
and I was a duck...
I'd dive...
I'm too tired
to sing this morning.
What’s the matter with you
big city fellas anyhow?
Don't you ever go to bed
around here?
Last night, I settled down
for my hour nap in the hotel...
and moly hoses, what a honking...
and lights a-flashing and
girls a-giggling on the street!
So I called the desk on the telephone
they've got in every room.
"What’s going on?" I said...
"It ain't New Year's Eve,
by any chance?"
"No," he said...
"It’s just ten o'clock at night
in Memphis".
So I pulled back on my duds and went
out to see what the commotion was.
Hey, Mr. Cameraman,
move that redeye a little closer.
He's already telling us what to do.
I want to talk face to face
with my friends out there.
Which one of these holes
do I look in?
One thing I could see right off
about a big city...
there's a whole lot of people
in trouble out there.
You don't see it much in the daytime
when everyone's hustling around...
rushing from where they is
to where they ain't...
but it’s at night,
late at night...
around o'clock in the morning
it’s what I call "the dividing line".
All you've got left
is folks in trouble.
I'm gonna tell you people something
happened to me this morning.
I'm going to tell you, and see if
it don't happen to you the same way.
If it don't move your hearts...
you're just a bunch of
big city pickle hearts.
I'll pack up my one shirt and
the Bible my daddy gave me...
and my cigar box guitar...
and I'll just get me
on home to Riddle.
It’s true about the one shirt,
but I've yet to see the Bible.
The way he talks about the night,
I couldn't write it that well.
Come out here.
Don't be scared of this,
at least no more than I am.
A coloured woman.
In Memphis, that takes nerve.
I told you, he's his own man.
You just tell folks
the same thing you told me.
You see, it’s my house...
It burnt down.
She's got seven young ones...
Helen, look what they're having
on television, now.
It’s about time.
She just walked around, because
she didn't have no place else to go.
I didn't know a single
living soul in Memphis.
Are you kidding?
I bet you've got
friends out there.
Each one will prove it
by sending bucks...
so you can build a decent house
for those brats of yours.
Now, please, noboby send in
more than $ . ...
you might not be able to spare it.
If you've got over $
cut in for that house of hers.
They're gonna be looking out for you,
ain't you, folks?
Lonesome! You should see how
the money is pouring in!
Get out of bed,
you've got a client!
What’s that?
It’s a mattress company,
that means you get your $ .
Stand still, you slob.
Here, get your hand in here.
Here it comes.
That sure is prettier music than
a cigar box guitar.
There's eighteen thousand
five hundred...
and forty-one...
of these things so far,
and we ain't hardly started.
Mrs. Tooley says thank you...
you good people.
You folks are building a house.
Ain't nothing you can't do when you
let the best side of you take over.
Oh, I see the old clock-watcher
going this way.
He wants me to make sure
I leave time for the commercial.
You didn't know I had a sponsor,
did you?
Neither did I till I woke up
this morning.
He's a good looking scoundrel,
ain't he?
What?
Yeah, I've got the commercial
on me somewhere. Let’s see...
Johnny Longshot’s tip
for the Daily Double...
No. No, that ain't it.
"Lonesome...
darling, you ain't forgetting
your little Arkansas Annie...?
No, that surely ain't it.
This is it.
Friends "comma" why not invest
in sleep insurance "question mark".
That is what you will be doing
when you buy your...
Luffler Easy-Rest
mattress "period".
It comes in six tasty flavours...
Well, that’s about enough
commercials.
Personally, when I'm dog-tired,
I sleep on the floor.
One of the best night’s sleep
I ever had was in a box car.
They say that a firm mattress
is better for your spine...
but if you follow that, ain't it
better just to sleep on the floor?
But, if you softies insist
on sleeping on a bed...
I reckon you can do worse
than a Luffler Easy-Rest.
End of commercial.
Maybe also the end
of Lonesome Rhodes.
Seriously, I was on the phone
with Mr. Luffler for half an hour.
I'm sure he's seen us
and hasn't even looked around.
He's got a loophole
in his contract...
and if you kill his commercial once
more, he'll walk right through it.
Hi there, Lonesome.
Hey!
Boy, I almost forgot.
I got those tickets for the plug
you gave this morning.
I guess you didn't know
I do a little shlockmeistering.
Shlockmeistering!
You just slip in a remark about these
products and they pay you in kind.
A case of beer, free drinks
at the Elrose Cafe, all that jazz...
I tell you, it mounts up.
Isn't that illegal? Stealing time
from regular sponsors?
Illegal?
Honey, nothing's illegal
if they don't catch you.
See you, Joe.
OK, see you around.
Who was that?
Joe, Luffler's office boy.
He won't be an office boy long.
Mr. Luffler doesn't like what
I said about his mattress.
Shucks, I said you could get a good
night’s sleep on one of them...
if you're real tired.
There I go again.
I just can't get my mouth around
the things they want me to say.
But, I'll try.
And now, a message of importance.
Now, you good people ain't so dumb
you don't know what’s important.
The atom bomb's important,
things like that.
A Luffler mattress
won't break your back...
but it sure ain't no
world-shaking message.
Just in case you won't be seeing me
again... Fellas, come on.
Here's a little song
to remember me by.
Give me an "E"...
Well, good-bye, Mr. Luffler,
and thanks for the ride...
I'd like to have your money,
but I'd rather have my pride.
On this corny old commercial
we just cannot agree...
so you can tear up my contract...
make a free man of me!
Going to be...
a free man in the morning...
a free man in the morning...
a free man in the morning...
I know the reason why.
Yes, Mr. Luffler.
Get me my lawyer.
Yes.
Who is it?
It’s me, Lonesome.
Larry.
I've come to say good-bye.
Just a minute.
I just wanted to say
I'm gonna hit the road.
Where to?
What’s the difference?
For Mr. Luffler.
He's firing me unless I promise to
show him my scripts in advance.
There ain't no script,
I'm just me.
Stay. Even after what you
did for Mrs Tooley?
I'm not my brother's keeper.
You are and you don't know it.
I don't cow tow to
no mattress company.
See you in jail, sometime.
We shook them up a little bit.
Had a run for our money.
Larry.
Come here.
Did I call you a cold fish,
Marcia?
Marcia...
it’s short for marshmallow.
My little marshmallow.
This way, please.
Joey, the boss wants you.
That’s terrible.
Mr. Luffler, since you hired
Lonesome Rhodes...
up to an including yesterday,
our sales have increased º/º.
I smell smoke.
I know he's hurt your feelings, but
as a merchandise man I must say...
that a º/º jump in sales
is quite a painkiller.
- I'll think it over.
- You called for me?
Yes.
I can always get him back!
For the credit department.
Yes, sir.
Joey...
You're a smart lad.
Do you think I acted hasty
in firing him?
I wouldn't let anyone
ridicule my product.
Your wife on one.
Yes, dear?
Would you mind
your own business dear?
Would you tell the Ladies' Garden
Club to mind its own business?
Credit department. Get me Browning,
Schlegel and McNally in New York.
Don't worry, it’s kosher, Luffler
gave me a message for them.
Do you know the number?
It’s the biggest ad agency
in New York.
Browning, Schlegel and McNally,
try information.
Browning, Schlegel and McNally,
long distance from Memphis?
Just a moment.
A Mr. Joseph De Palma, from Memphis,
he represents Lonesome Rhodes.
It’s a crazy business we're in.
This is about some joker called
Lonesome Rhodes on a local Memphis...
Hey, he topped both CBS and NBC
down there.
Hello. Mr. De Palma?
Hello, I just thought
I'd let you know...
that Lonesome Rhodes
is being flooded with offers.
If you happen to be interested,
o'clock is our deadline.
All right.
I'll call you back at five.
Five. Well, my pleasure.
I caught that show on my vacation,
he's a living doll.
Could be.
EBDNO, in New York City.
Marcia.
Marcia?
You told me to pick you up
in time for the show.
Hey, have you seen Lonesome?
You'll find him in there.
In here?
Oh, you mean in here?
I wouldn't barge in there
if I were you.
I'm not you.
Hey, hey, Lonesome!
Lonesome, boy, hey!
Yeah, yeah, who is it?
It’s destiny, that’s who it is.
Joe Destiny. Hi.
Child, I sold your show.
To the big time.
You wouldn't know it,
THE advertising company.
I got them bidding against
the Cutler Agency, MCA...
Who?
and a dozen others you won't know.
Look...
BSNM wants you for primetime.
o'clock, coast to coast.
I told them we'd let them know
at . hours.
Boy, I tell you,
we're on to New York.
We are?
They asked me if you had a New York
agent. Would you like to meet him?
A bum out of jail in Pickett,
Arkansas...
and a Memphis office boy!
Go, baby!
Yes, sir! Go, daddy-o!
Hey, will you sign this?
Thank you.
Now, in the last quarter, gentlemen,
and Miss Valerie...
we have spent over $
of General Hainsworth's money...
to make this country
Vitajex conscious.
And all we've succeeded in doing...
Next chart, please...
is dropping from º/º of the market
to º/º. Now I...
Mr. Macey, I'm late for the dog food
meeting. Can I say my say and go?
Yes.
I've gone over this product
pretty carefully in the lab.
Vitajex has a few grains
of aspirin...
a little sugar, that might
give you some energy...
but, frankly,
General or no General...
we've nothing to sell.
Strike that from the transcript,
Miss Murray.
You know General Hainsworth always
reads the product group reports.
I can't help it, I was hired
as a research chemist.
Dr. Wiley, there's nothing wrong
with Vitajex, is there?
It won't kill you,
if that’s what you mean.
It’s relatively harmless,
like a patent medicine...
Thank you, doctor. Now, let’s
get this train back on the tracks.
With all due respect to our
estimable television department...
He hates our guts.
and it’s sudden enthusiasm...
for Lonesome Rhodes...
I think we need a dignified sell.
I'd like a minute participation
on the Ed Murrow show.
Mr. Rhodes is here, sir.
Don't you think...
I mean, it’s irregular.
I just thought if you and the boys
got a look at him...
you'd see why the TV shop
is sold on him.
Gentlemen, Lonesome Rhodes.
Hi, folks.
Howdy.
I'm here to sell these kidney pills
or whatever the heck they are.
Hey, what’s the matter?
You got no spittoons around here?
Denise, would you bring
the gentleman a spittoon?
Now, what’s your particular
problem, Mr. Fuzzy Lip?
Sit down, Mr. Rhodes.
You may as well know...
Vitajex is the sick sister in
the International Drug family.
They're getting ready
to put out a smaller pill...
Jim, before we make
any hasty decisions...
Look at these poor little
white pills you're trying to peddle.
They're kind of pale,
got no charge to them.
I got an idea.
Let’s make them yellow.
The colour of sunshine
and energy.
Gives a fella the get up and go
that sets him up with the ladies.
I guess...
if you want to be bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed...
just gobble up a handful of Vitajex
and your battery's charged. Watch.
I am ready!
I mean, I am in the mood!
My personality undergoes
a startling change.
I got your spittoon...
I'm going to get you,
you little redhead!
That’s what Vitajex does to me and
I haven't even swallowed them yet.
You college geniuses want
dignity on your programme.
Where I come from,
a fella looks too dignified...
he's looking to steal your watch!
I'll move your merchandise!
Peace.
Peace.
Oh, Vitajex,
what are you doing to me?
Oh, Vitajex,
what are you doing to me?
You fill me full of ecstasy!
Oh, Vitajex,
what are you doing to me?
Oh...
Vitajex...
Vitajex,
what are you doing to me?
Vitajex,
what are you doing to me?
You fill me full of ecstasy!
Vitajex puts a gleam in your eye.
Vitajex puts a gleam in your eye.
Keep your eye on that rating.
Do it again.
Vitajex puts a gleam in your eye.
Fills you full of...
And each pill contains units...
of energy-giving endrocaine.
Vitajex, jex, jex
makes you go, go, go!
Keep your eye on that rating.
That’s why Vitajex
gives you that get up and go.
Do you have trouble with your girl?
Does she look elsewhere?
Here's how Vitajex
solved his problem.
Vitajex!
It fills me full of ecstasy!
See what I mean?
This is General Hainsworth.
I've just seen Lonesome
on the television, and I like him.
Why don't you take Vitajex...
like Lonesome Rhodes does?
She's talking about the new
large economy size.
I bought my boyfriend
a ten year supply.
Now, the soft sell.
- Keep your eye on the ratings.
- Vitajex, Vitajex, Vitajex.
Vitajex, what are you doing to me?
Now, the hard sell.
Vitajex, . .
General, I'm willing
to put myself on record.
I say he's a risk, uncooperative
and unpredictable.
We've spent tens of thousands
to find out the key words...
like "racing" and "zestful".
Rhodes has the audacity to tear us
to shreds in front of the audience.
. .
General, where are you?
If you'll forgive us,
we have to get back to town.
Why, hello, girls!
How's Princeton
and the old lady?
Afraid I'm making these
fellas unhappy.
I'm not in the business
to make them happy...
but of putting the public in
the frame of mind to buy Vitajex.
Exactly.
Excuse us, dear. Poor Mace,
he's already had one heart attack...
and you're winding him up
to another.
Well, that’s his hard luck.
Hello, Senator!
Did you have a fine flight?
Splendid! Splendid. I'll join you
when I get freshened up a bit.
My guest, Senator Fuller, I'd like
to see him in the White House.
Don't they call him
the last of the Isolationists?
Maybe, in some of those
left-wing papers.
Rhodes, I want you to get to know
people like that.
I'd like to take you under my wing
and educate you.
Shucks, general,
I'm just a country boy.
Young man, never forget
Will Rogers.
He was just a gum chewing
rope twirling cowboy...
but he got to where he was
telling off presidents and kings.
General, my thinking is the second
section of the same train.
I've always gone in for
long range planning.
Right now, Lonesome
is merely popular, very popular...
but Lonesome Rhodes could be
made into an influence.
A wielder of opinion,
an institution...
positively sacred to his country,
like the Washington monument.
I suspect your idealistic young lady
disagrees with me...
but my study of history
has convinced me...
that in every strong society
from the Egyptians on...
the mass had to be guided
with a strong hand...
by a responsible elite.
Let us not forget that in TV
we have the greatest instrument...
for mass persuasion
in the history of the world.
I don't mean
to flatter you, sir...
What? Oh, yes. Well, let’s
have a go at it, shall we?
Roger, Roger!
Are you jotting this down?
First, I'll see if I can sell Henry
on the idea of a "Life" cover.
Remind me to call him for lunch.
I proudly dedicate to you...
the latest hybrid iris
of our horticultural laboratory.
The "Unusfloratorum"...
We girls call it
"The Lonesome Rhodes".
I christen thee
the "USS Rhodes".
And so, on behalf of our
great commonwealth...
I'm proud to dedicate
one of nature's wonders...
henceforth and forever
to be known as...
"Mount Rhodes".
And now, Lonesome,
back in those difficult days...
you had a pal.
We flew him to New York tonight...
to help recall the struggle
and joys of times gone by.
Because, Lonesome Rhodes,
you lived it!
Hey, Lonesome!
Beanie!
You old scoundrel,
where have you been?
Here, go out and get yourself
some good liquor.
Thank you, New York,
thank you, thank you!
Hey, listen to this...
The boys in our ward
at the Veterans' hospital...
just got together
and donated $ . .
You ask me how I can keep going
hours without sleep?
Man, this is better than sleep!
Didn't I tell you, kid?
Didn't I tell you?
Do you still want me
to hold this sign?
As general manager of
the Sherry Towers...
it’s my honour to present you
with a gold key...
to the two top floors of
New York's finest hotel.
To the very top!
You can't get much higher.
Hello.
Larry.
What time is it?
Marcia, you've got to come over.
I never shoulïve let Joe sell me the
idea of a penthouse over the offices.
rooms to be alone in.
I feel like a shipwrecked fella
on an island.
Larry, I know that island,
it’s populated with friendly girls.
Marcia, honey, believe me,
it’s a matter of life and death.
Call me soon, doll.
Larry?
If you don't come
I'll dive off the balcony...
and I'm ten blocks from the lake.
Marcia, come out here.
I had a girl up here tonight.
I get restless.
I lied to you. When it’s over
I'm Ionelier than I was before.
Come out here a minute.
Look at all those TV aerials
sticking up like branches.
There's a whole forest of them
from here to San Diego.
All waiting to hear
what I have to say.
Is that why you woke me
in the middle of the night?
What I'm trying to say is all them
millions of people believing it...
doing what I tell them to...
scares me.
The General and all them big-shots
trying to educate me.
Educate, or use you?
That’s it, the General says
the country needs me.
I'm supposed to be an influence.
It’s mighty tall grass, Marcia.
We're getting in deep, Marcia.
Deeper than we ever dreamed
when we started out in Arkansas.
I know I act like I just ate the
western hemisphere for breakfast.
But, down here in the boiler room,
I know I need advice.
And not the kind I get from Joey,
or the Madison Avenue lot...
who'll betray me
as soon as my back is turned.
No, I know when I come
to the top of a mountain...
I need you.
Because you're level with me.
You're my lifeline to truth.
Well...
marry me, Marcia.
Please?
That’s what I called you
over here for.
Can't keep anything alive up here.
Dust in this city kills everything.
Larry.
Don't play with me.
Don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me.
Marcia, there's a lady to see you.
A lady?
She's got a dress on.
I don't want to see anybody.
OK, I'll tell her to move it out.
I'm sorry ma'am...
Are you the...
I am Mrs. Rhodes.
Are you related to Mr. Rhodes?
But, you're not his mother?
His wife.
All right, Beanie.
Isn't he something?
Do you turn this down a little?
So...
You're Lonesome's new tootsie?
Lonesome, that’s a hot one.
I hope you had better luck
keeping him Ionesome than I did.
You should understand that I'm just
a business associate of Mr. Rhodes.
Ain't you something!
The floor manager of your programme
is my brother in law's first cousin.
He told me where I could find you.
So you come off it, little lady.
Do you mind...?
Mr. Rhodes might have done me
the courtesy of telling me himself.
Mr. Rhodes don't do no courtesies
to nobody.
I could write a book about him.
Is the purpose of your visit
to collect material?
Oh, I came to collect,
but it ain't material.
Unless you get Larry to pay me
three grand a month...
not only will I not divorce him...
but I'll make it plenty hot
for the both of you.
I already got some feelings
from confidential magazines.
I'm not engaged to your husband.
Larry thinks he has to take a bite
out of every broad he comes across.
Then he calls them a tramp,
drops them...
all sort of psycho-something
or other, you know?
I caught him red-handed
with my best girlfriend.
He broke my jaw.
Seems to be working quite
effectively now.
Mrs. Rhodes, if you'll excuse me,
I'm very busy this morning.
Well, tell Larry, G a month,
and he's yours.
An old fashioned marriage...
is my favourite marriage.
It’s a sincere type song.
Should be a big hit.
An old fashioned kiss
needs a silvery...
Oh, shut up!
The Backward Barons are
rehearsing our new theme song.
Very catchy.
Lonesome wrote it.
Actually, two fellas wrote it.
Of course, their names aren't on it.
General,
we wanted to show you this.
Lonesome designed it himself,
the reaction machine.
You just push these little levers,
it can laugh.
Giggle.
"Ah".
- Ain't that good?
- Most ingenious.
We're thinking of putting them
on the market.
A Lonesome Rhodes
automatic reactor.
Mechanical laughter and applause,
what are we coming to?
We're coming to a bigger model.
I'm sorry to end this,
it’s most interesting...
but I've got a date at my club,
lunch with Senator Fuller.
What’s the matter?
General, I wish you had time
to see our whole operation.
You're wound tighter than a clock,
what’s up?
Next time you propose, you might
consider getting unmarried first.
Listen, Beanie told me,
it ain't as bad as you think.
I got a divorce, a couple
of years ago in Mexico.
But the judge got indicted for fraud
so my ex claimed...
The latest ratings, Mr. Rhodes.
Hallelujah!
Rhodes, . .
Opposition, . .
That other fella's gonna be
jumping out of windows.
So, like I say, the ex claimed
the divorce was a fraud too...
I've got a good lawyer
working it out in Juarez.
If I go down there, he'll
get it off my back in hours.
Don't play with me,
I'm not one of your girls.
On a stack of Bibles, Marcia.
Saturday I'm going to be in Pickett
judging the drum majorette contest.
I'll go straight
from there to Mexico.
Next time you hear from me,
it’ll be from Juarez, believe me.
That is just dreadful...
"We also take in laundry."
That’s a new one.
Welcome to the black hole
of Calcutta.
This is one place they
didn't show the General.
Naturally, here are the lepers
of the great TV industry...
men without faces.
They even slide our cheques under
the door to pretend we're not here.
Ha, ha, ha!
Think of the satisfaction
of being a small cog...
in the great wheel of humanity
"Lonesome Rhodes".
Ha, ha, ha!
Sounds like she's coming over
to our side.
Ha, ha, ha!
Why don't you quit?
Why don't you quit?
I'm deeply involved with him.
Spoken like a lady.
Got his introduction ready?
Home town boy, not only making
good, but making everybody.
For a mild man,
you sound vicious.
Didn't you know?
All mild men are vicious.
They hate themselves for being mild
and the extroverts whose violence...
has a strange attraction for
nice girls who should know better.
Today, "A face in the crowd"
takes you on a sentimental journey...
as Lonesome Rhodes, your old
Arkansas traveller goes home...
to the typical dirt road
cotton-picking town of Pickett.
Where America's favourite country
cousin got his humble start...
he now returns to the simple folk
who loved him first.
The latest face in the crowd,
the lucky, talented girl...
whom he will select from
hundreds of contestants...
as Miss Arkansas Drum Majorette
of .
And here's the man
you've been waiting for...
Look at them.
Look at them!
Ain't that the most?
I mean the most!
Fantastic.
Country people.
The heart of America,
the salt of the earth.
Hey, Beanie, L.R.!
"We love L.R.".
Lonesome!
Hi, you all!
It’s dangerous.
What, baton twirling?
No, power.
You've got to be a saint to stand
the power that box gives you.
Oh, it’s wonderful!
She's only seventeen.
She looks like a very sweet child.
Friends...
Friends...
Friends...
my heart is too full...
to say anything more...
than welcome back
to Pickett.
A great artist...
a great humanitarian...
a great American.
Our very own
Lonesome Rhodes.
Friends...
fellow Arkansasians,
fellow Americans...
I know I should start off
with a funny story...
about my kin folk in Riddle...
but I just feel too humble
this afternoon...
as I look out on this fine
representative body...
of wholesome young
American womanhood.
You know I've been a fan
of baton swirling from way back.
I think it’s a honest to God
American art form.
Here's a number I just recorded
for the Golden Oak Label.
You kids might enjoy
twirling to it.
Here she goes,
"Mamma guitar"!
Oh, yeah.
Our first contestant will be...
Miss Suzanne McKinley
of Beagelstown...
let’s have a real doozie, Suzie!
And now, Miss Linda Bruce
from Ganderstown.
Go, girl, go!
From the town of Snakebite...
Miss Peggy May Hardy.
Let’s see you twirl it
and swirl it Peggy May!
I give you
Miss Mary Jane Johnson...
from the neighbouring village
of Pocahontas.
And now,
Miss Betty Lou Fleckum.
And I say, that the winner...
by unanimous decision
and that’s me...
is little Miss Betty Lou Fleckum!
Miss Arkansas Drum Majorette...
of !
I'm so excited...
I'm sorry.
You're my idol, honest.
I pasted your picture
on the ceiling over my bed...
so you're the first thing I see
when I wake up in the morning.
Well, bless your heart.
- What will you have?
- Water, I have a family.
- Hello.
- Mace, good show.
Yes, I think it went well.
Hi, Beryl.
Mace, that baton bit
was the living end.
Thanks.
As Lonesome said,
it’s an American art form.
A glass of water, Joe.
Oh, peach of a show, Miss Jeffries.
Should boost the ratings.
Poor Macey.
Lives on a diet of hydroglycerine
and ratings.
Call it a Bible, but it’s really
a death warrant with decimal points.
- Here you are, sir.
- Thanks.
Miss J, this just came for you.
Being in this place
is just like being in the office.
Not quite. Joe, two more, please
and this time would you just...
let the vermouth blow a kiss
at the gin?
Our barefoot boy won't be flying in
tonight. He's hopping over to Juarez.
"Get Arthur Godfrey to fill in,
I'll do the same for him someday.
Counting on you to hold the fort."
This shoulder's getting a permanent
callus from holding that fort.
What’s in Juarez?
Bars...
lawyers, quick marriages...
quick divorces.
Then, this is it?
You're blushing.
Sixty to one martinis.
I suppose I should be a gentleman
and wish you all the happiness.
I think I'll just be a cad and hope
he chokes on a Vitajex pill.
You look nice.
Larry!
Make sure you get the bride.
This is great stuff.
Officer, I'm his fiancée.
- Did you say married?
- Sure did.
This lady had done me the honour
of becoming Mrs. Lonesome Rhodes.
We did it in Juarez.
Easy, fellas, I just got her.
Where are you going?
Miss, I'm Earl Wilson,
what are your measurements?
Hey, what are you trying to do?
Are you out of your mind?
Get it up there.
That’s it.
Their names are Kiko and Pico.
Kiko and Pico!
Well, here she is.
My little Arkansas sweet potato,
Betty Lou.
I ain't been so happy since the day
I fell into Grandpa's corn liquor...
and just guzzled my way
down to dry land.
I don't reckon I'll be a free man
tomorrow morning.
But if this ain't freedom...
man, it’s the next best thing.
And now...
you want to see
what first caught my eye?
And what second caught my eye?
And what keeps on...
and on catching my eyes?
Ladies and gentlemen...
I give you
Mrs. Lonesome Rhodes.
Doing her unbelievable...
double five baton
twirling dance...
to the scherzo
from the th Symphony...
by Ludwig van Beethoven.
Mr. Rhodes...
could I talk to you
for just a minute, please?
I told you I didn't want you agents
nagging me.
I've been with Browning, Schlegal
and McNally for years...
in charge of the
International Drug account.
The General just told me
he's taking his business away.
Your young Mr. De Palma
has wormed his way in...
Look, Macey, Joe De Palma's
doing a heck of a job for me.
But, you know this business,
it’s cut-throat...
Look, Macey...
If a rating nose-dives
or if you lose a client...
even if it isn't your fault,
the executive has to go.
Mr. Rhodes, if I lose this account,
I'll be fired.
I've got a son in Princeton...
Rhodes, you've seen my...
You've seen my office...
A corner office
with four windows.
Do you know how long it
takes to get a corner...?
I was afraid to marry you,
that’s the truth.
The dirt root cotton-picking truth.
Last time you said
you were afraid not to.
Both were true,
you sort of overawe me.
You know more than I do...
I figured you'd be so doggone
critical all the time.
You and that smart alec Mel.
You don't really approve of me.
That’s so, ain't it?
You're getting to be all the things
you used to harpoon.
See what I mean?
The bigger I get,
the smaller you make me feel.
You take Betty Lou.
Don't try to explain.
Betty Lou is your public...
all wrapped up in ribbons
in a cute little package.
She's the logical culmination
of the great love affair...
between Lonesome Rhodes
and his audience.
Well, I wish you weren't
so bitter.
I'm not bitter.
If I sound stridently female about
Miss Majorette, I don't mean to be.
I knew you'd married her
just as a way of not marrying me.
Look, Marcia, I'm not forgetting
what I owe you.
I'll give you a healthy slice
of our operation.
º/º of my end...
You won't have to lift a finger
with what I'm giving you.
Giving me? Giving me?
You're not giving me anything!
And you're not throwing me off
the train like poor Abe Steiner!
"Face in the crowd"
was my idea.
The whole idea of Lonesome Rhodes
belongs to me!
I always shoulïve been an equal
partner. Well, now I'm going to be!
I'm going to get
something I deserve.
That doesn't sound like you.
And I want it on paper!
OK. All right.
I'll tell George to draw up
the papers.
Look at yourself
in the mirror, Marcia.
You'll see a millionaire.
There's always Vanderbilt .
He's going back to Memphis.
He wants to forget us both.
I know he'd wait for you
till there was ice on the equator.
That’s how long he did wait.
When people ask me, Walter,
"Where do you get all that news?"
I invariably tell them I usually
get it from a lot of people...
who promised someone
they'd keep it a secret.
As, for example...
just what is Lonesome Rhodes going
to talk to General Hainsworth about?
Oh, General,
oh, Lonesome Rhodes...
And now, Mike Wallace interviews
Senator Worthington Fuller.
Senator, do you mean
you are not infected...
- with the presidential itch?
- Itch?
Senator, is it not a fact that you
have a date tomorrow night...
for what is known as Madison Avenue
coaching from Lonesome Rhodes...
in General Hainsworth's
private projection room?
I have said,
it calls for the closest scrutiny.
I am unable to persuade myself
and to believe...
that the blatant squandering
of American wealth...
at home and abroad
is a road to a sound peace.
Thank you all...
and good evening all.
Lights!
I know it’s not what the people
want to hear...
but I know what’s best for them.
We think so too, that’s why
everyone in this room...
wants you to be the next
President of the United States.
But your problem is getting
the voters to listen to you.
Getting them to like you
enough to listen to you.
Senator, I've got to be blunt.
Your TV appearances have been,
well, catastrophes.
Wouldn't you say, Lonesome?
Beanie, did you check the ratings
for the Senator on "Face the People"?
Brutal.
Excuse me, . .
Go ahead.
We've got to face it, politics have
entered a new stage, television.
Instead of long-winded debates,
the people want slogans.
"Time for a change" "The mess in
Washington" "More bang for a buck".
Punch-lines and glamour.
Yes, Mr. Furness, even glamour.
My papers have supported
Worthington Fuller...
from the first day he ran for office,
he's not a grandstander...
a backslapper or a baby-kisser.
That’s exactly what
he's got to become.
The majority in this country
don't see eye to eye with him.
We've got to find million buyers
for the product "Worthington Fuller".
You underestimate the respect...
Respect? Did you ever hear
of anyone buying any product...
beer, hair rinse, tissue,
because they respect it?
You've got to be loved, man.
Loved.
I may be old-fashioned but I think
there is still a distinction...
between politics and, well,
the field you're in.
Bull.
I beg your pardon, sir?
Sorry if I tread on your corns,
but I said "bull".
Politics is people.
- Mr. Rhodes...
- Now, now...
The General asked me to come here.
If you don't want to hear me...
Do go on, Mr. Rhodes.
I'm sorry to make a disturbance,
but...
Senator, I'm a professional.
I look at the image on that screen
same as at a performer on my show.
And I have to say...
you'll never get over
to my audience...
not to the million people...
who welcome me into their
living rooms each week.
And if I wouldn't buy him,
do you realise what that means?
If I wouldn't buy him,
the people of this country...
aren't ready to buy him for that
big job on Pennsylvania Avenue.
Do you know where I found him?
I don't think he'll mind my saying,
in jail.
He's stupid, he's got no mentality,
he thinks with his feet.
But I trust those feet.
Now if he don't laugh...
if he don't think
the show's any good...
then I know there's
something wrong with it...
something people just
ain't gonna take to.
See what I mean?
Now, Beanie...
What did you think of the personality
you just saw on screen?
Well, I...
Come on, give it to us straight.
Flatter than last night’s beer.
You see your problem now?
How are you going to get this man,
this bush-monkey to vote for you?
Frankly, I don't know.
Well, maybe I do.
Do you know how to
lift your ratings...
from . to . ?
You need... Now hold on
to your hat, my friend...
You need a whole
new personality.
A new personality?
Frankly, that’s impossible.
Now, wait just a moment.
For instance, do you have a pet?
My wife and I have a Siamese cat.
Beanie?
My public love dogs.
One pitch with a hound
is worth words.
That mutt didn't do Roosevelt
any harm, did it?
Dick Nixon either.
I'm sure you're right.
How about a nickname?
Only dishonest thing about Curly
is the way he combs his hair.
Curly, that’s rather amusing.
See? You've got a sense of humour
about that fine head of skin.
No hard feelings now,
we're talking television.
Don't press your lips together,
it gives you a kind of sissy look.
Keep your mouth relaxed
so you can say...
Once in a while.
It sounds crazy to you.
No, I realise it’s a new technique
I've got to face. That’s why I came.
That’s a boy, Curly.
You just put yourself in my hands.
I'll have them loving him.
I mean loving him.
You know, that’s just what he did
for Vitajex.
He ought to be in the cabinet.
I'll be going to bed now, sir.
Night, Sidney. Lonesome,
I don't know anyone in the country...
who coulïve won the Senator
the way you did. It was...
Shut up, I'm thinking.
Listen to me,
as your adopted father...
you've only one flaw,
the way you've begun...
to suddenly shoot out of control.
Like this evening,
almost walking out on the Senator.
And you're beginning
to antagonise the press, you're...
Cracker Barrel.
Lonesome Rhodes' Cracker Barrel.
What’s that?
My new show,
set it up right away.
Give me a bunch of
colourful country characters...
all sitting around...
listening to Lonesome Rhodes
sound off about everything...
from the price of popcorn
to the hydrogen bomb.
You don't like it?
Well, just forget it.
All I've got to do is pick up
the phone...
I can get Tim Andrews of National
Motors to back it in a minute.
I'm not just an entertainer...
I'm an influence,
a wielder of opinion...
a force.
A force.
Now, Shelton cigarettes,
and Best Friend Dogfood...
bring you the voice
of grass root wisdom.
Lonesome Rhodes
on the Cracker Barrel.
You know boys what really
bugs me about our Limey cousins...
is the way they keep trying
to act like a first class outfit...
when their store is having to close
its branches all over the world.
That’s right, Lonesome.
That’s telling them.
He's getting crueler
every minute.
That’s the Lorïs truth.
Well, look who's stopping by
to chew the fat with us...
around old Cracker Barrel,
Senator Worthington Fuller.
Hey, howdy Curly
how's my old bunk mate?
It’s a real pleasure and surprise.
Come and meet the boys.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Sit down, put your feet up
on that.
Hello, Mr. Miller,
long time no see. The usual?
And just let the vermouth
blow a kiss at the gin.
In just a while I'll be tossing
some questions at old Curly Fuller.
I should say
Senator Worthington Fuller.
Are you waiting for someone?
I'm just having a quiet drink.
I don't remember you
doing that before.
I talk to a thousand people a day,
this is a chance to unwind.
We didn't know that swallowing
too much raw politics...
can put a crease in your head
a whole lot deeper...
than that home-made joy juice
we used to concoct back in Arkansas.
I wish you'd give me
the real cotton-picking truth...
about how you feel on the subject
of more and more...
and more social security.
I'm glad you asked me that,
Lonesome.
I'd say that people today...
are obsessed.
I mean, real drawn
for security.
They want protection, coddling
from the cradle to the grave.
I say that weakens
the moral fibre.
Boone wasn't looking for unemployment
insurance and old age pension.
All he needed was his axe
and his gun...
and a chance to hue a living out
of the forest, with his own hands.
Real wizzy, ain't it?
That’s the spirit that built
this country.
Joe, would you turn
the sound down, please?
I'll say one thing, he's got
the courage of his ignorance.
How's our old station in Memphis?
I didn't go near it,
I've been writing a book...
about...
I call it
"Demagogue in Denim".
Never had such a good time
in my life.
You look wonderful.
All those months he was calling me
Vanderbilt and Frontal Lobe.
I shoulïve been
punching him in the nose.
Now, I've got a book
to punch him in the nose.
Is it going to be published?
Came up to sign the contracts.
The publishers like it. They think
it’s time to pull the mask off him.
Let the public see what a fraud
he really is.
I wouldn't say that.
What would you say?
It’s just harder for him
to be as simple as he was...
with all those generals and senators
and politicians hanging around.
You're still with him?
I tone down some
of the crazier notions...
he wants to spout on the air.
I'm the only person
he can talk to anymore.
Lots of people have been fired...
There's an awful lot
of money at stake.
The agency we started with
the International Drug account...
is grossing over
a hundred million a year.
How's Mamma Guitar selling?
I found him.
He's mine for better or worse.
I'm doing my small bit
to make him better.
Marcia, you're the locker room
where he eases up after the fight...
win or lose.
You're the shock absorber for
collisions with ex-wives...
models, new wives
and assorted tramps.
You're the little wheel without which
the express called Lonesome Rhodes...
plunges off the track
and leaps to destruction.
I can hardly wait
to read that book.
Don't worry, I've spared you
more than you've spared yourself.
I know.
I know
I'll call you again sometime...
when I think you're ready.
Hey, Betty Lou,
take a look at this poll.
I got it up from º/º of voters
to º/º.
. That’s a lucky number.
He's going to get in.
Hey, Sweet Potato...
Iook who's home,
you're big papa man.
You're not going to hit me.
Don't play the noble defender
of the sanctity of marriage.
I know where you were those nights
when Betty was waiting up for you.
If you hit me,
it’ll be all over the papers.
As much as the people love you...
You're fired, you're through.
I've got news that’ll move you
and shake you.
I'm president of
Lonesome Rhodes Enterprises.
I own º/º of the voting stock.
You're in bed with me, Larry,
in bed.
Get me Beanie.
I think I'll just freshen my soda.
Beanie, get Mrs. Rhodes a seat
on the next train to Little Rock.
You don't own º/º.
You're fired.
Fired?
Lonesome...
Lonesome, nothing happened,
really.
This programme is brought to you
by Shelton Cigarettes.
I'll treat you like any performer
on my show that flops.
I've got a contract with you.
You'll get your money every week
as long as you stay in Arkansas.
But I don't want to go home.
Ed Sullivan wants me to do my batons
act on his show Sunday night.
You can do your
baton twirling dance...
in the ladies' room
at the Little Rock depot.
Marcia, can you hear me?
Get up, wake up!
It’s me, big me, the king.
Come on, Marcia, open up.
I said hurry up on this door,
Marcia.
Lonesome's back.
Just got rid of Betty Lou.
Sweet talking little floozy,
she'd have ruined me.
Fix me a drink.
What are you doing?
We'll have to be more careful
than we used to be.
I'll have to stay married
till I get my new appointment.
Your what?
This is still top secret.
The General's been talking
to Fuller.
He's selling him the idea
of creating an academy post for me.
"In time of imminent crisis
and danger".
That’s the way the General puts it.
Who can rabble people better than me?
Hold them in line,
right behind the government.
If we put Fuller across the way,
and we will, he's gonna owe me that.
Secretary for National Morale.
How's that sound to you?
Secretary for National Morale.
General's asking him to shake
on it after my banquet tomorrow...
launching Fighters for Fuller.
Fighters for Fuller?
Yeah, how do you like that name?
I made it up.
Everybody's nuts about it!
The biggest men in the country
are coming to my banquet...
to get things rolling.
I've got an admiral,
two governors...
some investment house boys
and a cabinet minister.
Which one?
I don't know.
I told the general to pick one.
They're coming to your party?
Honey, if I ask them,
they've got to come.
They'd be afraid not to come.
I could murder them,
like guests.
I'm afraid it’s true.
What’s true?
Right here, tonight,
you might have that much power.
Seen the ratings?
. ...
just picked up another million.
This old country's just like
my flock of sheep.
Sheep.
Rednecks, crackers,
hillbillies...
houseprouds, shut-ins,
pea-pickers...
everybody that’s got to jump
when someone else blows the whistle.
They don't know it yet...
but they're all gonna be
Fighters for Fuller.
They're mine, I own them,
they think like I do.
Or they're more stupid than I am,
so I've got to think for them.
Marcia, you just wait and see...
I'll be the power behind
the president...
and you'll be the power behind me.
You made me, Marcia,
you made me.
I always say that.
I owe it all to you.
I owe it all to you.
All to you.
I know it.
I know it.
Turn the light out.
I'm tired.
Big day tomorrow...
a really big day.
A really big day.
Come on, come on,
I've got to get some sleep.
Marcia!
Where are you going?
All I can say is tonight’s show
is going to be a mess.
Now you tell me the show's
in a mess, now.
- Marcia never showed up all day.
- I've looked every place...
She's the only one
who can co-ordinate.
Co-ordinate, hell! Do you mean
to tell me the success of my show...
depends on one self-important,
neurotic, temperamental female?
I'm fed up with the whole lot
of you incompetents.
Nincompoops!
Bootlickers!
Would you like some coffee,
Mr. Rhodes?
Is that your subtle way of trying
to tell me I'm swacked?
Well, I'm not drunk,
just disgusted.
I'll handle it.
Of course, Mr. Rhodes.
I'll ad lib.
Just keep up with me.
I've saved the show before.
Well, I just wonder what they do
with their afternoons...
- One more day like this, and I quit.
- Here she comes.
Marcia, where've you been? We've
been trying to find you all day.
You know how important it is.
We still haven't got
our commercials routine.
I know that’s kind of going out
of style, like the corset...
but every once in a while,
I ask myself, Lonesome...
where's that unmodern,
uncomplicated, unliberated...
but oh-so-happy
one-man woman gone?
Ain't no use getting het up
about something we can't change.
I was duck-shooting
over the weekend...
I brought my movie camera along
to show you folks what it was like.
Roll the film.
Hit it.
Hey you, in the projection room,
show us the movie!
Mr. Rhodes, they can't hear you.
About time.
I want to talk to you.
I can't tonight, I have to
rush to the banquet...
but first thing in the morning.
In my office, in the morning.
seconds, Mr. Rhodes.
You can take this,
I've quit today.
Even after the senator bagged
his limit, he hated to leave.
He says to me, "Lonesome..."
Keep the door clear. I'm surrounded
by a lot of dumb sons of nitwits.
Hey, you redneck scoundrels
still here?
Why aren't you out working
someplace?
Ain't that Curly Fuller
a duck-shooting fool?
You know when we were
standing shoulder to shoulder...
in that cold water,
belly button high...
and the sun was smiling on us...
Curly looked at me,
and he says, "Lonesome...
a family that prays together,
stays together."
That’s what he said.
I tell you that man
is an inspiration...
a man among men.
The Cracker Barrel, starring that
irrepressible Arkansas traveller...
You're off.
I'm glad that’s over.
I'm gonna start shooting people
instead of ducks.
For relaxation and for health...
the cigarette that cleans
your tobacco without a filter...
and by Best Friend Dogfood...
your dog's best friend.
And by Vitajex, that old "Vitajex
what you doing to me" pill.
Hurry back you all, remember
what old Lonesome said...
A family that prays together
stays together.
All right, super one,
and start the crawl.
This has been an FBN production...
Fuller, the great hunter.
He's shaking like this.
If they ever heard the way
that psycho really thinks...
Scenic design, James Fitzsimmons.
Costumes by Robert Hose.
Unit manager, George K George.
Sell that stuff about
a man among men...
to those morons out there?
Shucks, I sell them chicken
fertiliser as caviar.
I can make them eat dog food
and think it’s steak.
Sure, I've got them like this.
You know what the public's like,
a cage full of guinea pigs.
Good night, you stupid idiots.
Good night, you miserable slobs.
They're a lot of trained seals...
I toss them a dead fish
and they'll flap their flippers.
Let them listen, please!
Marcia.
Why, he's a monster!
I'm going to call the station and
give them a piece of my mind.
We'll fix you, jerk.
I knew he'd open his big yack
once too often and blow my Gs.
I cant’ believe it’s the same
Lonesome Rhodes.
It is, only this time his personality
finally came through.
Give me a drink.
Got to hurry boys,
it’s a big important day.
Come in strong tomorrow,
I'll be loaded for bear.
Held the elevator for you,
the Lonesome Rhodes express...
going down!
All the way down.
Yes, sir.
Central Broadcasting Network.
That line is busy.
Tell him I'll never listen
to his filthy programme again.
We're slobs are we?
Well tell Lonesome from me...
I said, are we paying you network
a $ an hour...
to build up our business,
or destroy it?
Just a minute, General.
Get De Palma on the phone.
Remember it was your company
brought Lonesome to FBN.
Keep this scandal from
rubbing off on Vitajex.
Disassociate ourselves.
Lonesome Rhodes?
That line is busy.
What did he say?
It must have been a whopper.
Come up with a good replacement.
Thanks for not stopping
to pick up the peasants.
How's your ratings?
Sorry, Mr. Rhodes has left
and there's no one in the studio.
De Palma, you know your contract,
the morals clause.
Any act abusing public confidence.
I've just the boy to fill the gap.
Barry Mills.
He's a young Lonesome
and a lot easier to handle.
Buddy, I'm just a country boy.
Don't spare the horses, I've only
minutes to get into my dinner suit.
"L. R's blooper tops Unk Don's"
I could never see what people saw
in him, but he's had it.
The sinking of the Titanic,
what happened?
Marcia, she went crazy.
She's in the booth.
I hear you just wrote
the ending to my book.
Yeah?
Just a minute,
I'll see if she's here.
It’s him.
Marcia.
Oh, Marcia, I need you.
Come over right away.
Nobody's come,
everybody cancelled.
They didn't even send me
a wire.
The General sent me a wire.
The Secretary of the Interior sent
me a wire, "Regret to inform you...
unavoidably detained,
unable to attend."
All of a sudden,
everybody's too busy.
All of a sudden, I'm poison.
Are you laughing at me?
Are you laughing at me?
You think I'm washed up, don't you?
The same way I lost them,
I'll get them back again.
I'm going to make them love me.
You're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me.
You're gonna love me,
you're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me,
you're gonna love me...
What’s your name?
Francis, Francis,
you're gonna love me.
Francis, you're gonna
love me, love me, love me.
Get out! Get out!
Get out, you black monkeys!
You turn my stomach.
Get out!
Sounds like he's finally
gone through the roof.
Marcia, how soon can you get here?
I'm surrounded by traitors.
That engineer...
wait till I get him, I'll fire him.
I'll burn him over a slow fire.
Marcia...
If you don't come right away,
I'll jump!
I'll jump!
Jump! Jump!
Get out of my life!
Get out of everybody's life.
Jump.
Jump.
Jump.
I don't believe you.
Now, you'll be a...
Oh, Mel...
Why didn't you tell him
it was you?
It’s true.
You'll just make it harder.
You should tell him face to face
before he blames other guys.
Face to face,
then maybe I'll believe you.
Is it ever as simple as that?
You've got to force complicated
things into simple channels.
Either you go and tell him
you did it and chop it off clean...
so he never comes
crying to you again...
or you hold his hand...
wipe his poor perspiring brow,
fan his smouldering dampened ego...
so he can burst into flames
and burn again.
Secretary for National Morale...
is a job that I was born for!
Somebody send for a doctor,
he's been like that for minutes.
In a time of crisis...
who else could rabble the people
like Lonesome Rhodes?
Who else could move the people
to action like Lonesome Rhodes?
You are looking...
at America's answer...
to the crying need for national...
- What are you doing that for?
- He likes lots of applause.
Maybe I'm just a country boy...
but if the President
tries to stop me...
I'll flood the White House
with millions of telegrams!
I made him
and I can break him!
Yeah!
Yeah, you know I can.
Because the people listen
to Lonesome Rhodes.
Because the people
love Lonesome Rhodes.
Lonesome Rhodes is the people.
The people is Lonesome Rhodes.
Beanie!
More, yeah, yeah!
No! No!
Ten thousand miles away
from home...
and I don't even know my name.
Marcia...
Oh, Marcia.
Marcia...
I knew you'd come.
I knew you'd come.
Marcia, I lost them...
but all I've got to do
is talk to them one more time.
I'll say I said that just to see
how many were really listening.
Sure, I'll have them eating out of
my hands again, just like old times.
Larry, it was me.
I'm back on top again.
First thing I'll do
when I'm back on top...
I'll get that sound man...
I'll get that dirty, stinking
little mechanical genius...
It was me.
It was.
It was me.
I held you open...
on purpose.
I'm telling you,
so you'll never call me again.
Never again.
OK.
My little Marshmallow.
Good luck with Mel.
Run along.
I'm sorry, forgive me.
Go on.
Go.
Listen, I'm not through yet.
You know what’s going
to happen to me?
Suppose I tell you exactly
what’s going to happen to you?
You'll be back on television...
only it won't be quite the same
as it was before.
After a cooling-off period,
someone will say...
"Why don't we try him again
in an inexpensive format?
People's memories aren't too long."
And in a way, he'd be right.
Some people will forget,
some won't.
You'll have a show.
Maybe not the best hour, or top ten.
Maybe not even in the top .
You'll have a show, it just won't
be quite the same as it was before.
Then a couple of new fellas
will come along...
and soon a lot of your fans
will be flocking around them.
Then, one day, someone will ask
"Whatever happened to...
what’s his name? You know,
the one who was so big...
the number one fella
a couple of years ago.
He was famous, how can we
forget a name like that?
By the way,
have you seen Barry Mills?
He's the greatest thing
since Will Rogers."
Beanie!
Marcia!
Don't leave me!
I don't figure him for a suicide.
Marcia!
Mel, if I'd only left him
in that jail in Pickett.
Marcia, stop it.
You were taken in
just like we all were.
We got wise to him,
that’s our strength.
Come back Marcia!
Marcia!
Come back!
Don't leave me!
Don't leave me!
Don't leave me!
Marcia!
Don't leave me!
Come back!
Come back!
Come back!
Somebody's looking for you.
Miss Jeffries!
Morning, Sheriff.
We've got what you want, we always
get a good haul on the 4th of July.
Good. Come on, let’s go.
Here she comes, Bill.
Come in, and see what we've got.
Wait, I forgot my tape recorder.
Boys, this is Miss Marcia Jeffries.
How do you do?
Her uncle owns the radio station
in town, KGRK.
She's been doing a programme,
maybe you've heard it...
"A face in the crowd". A mighty nice
programme it is, too.
I know this is a little unusual...
but this morning she's going
to do her programme from here.
Miss Jeffries, the jail of Tawny
Hawk County is at your disposal.
It’s very simple, you just talk into
this microphone in a natural voice.
We'll just chat back and forth.
This is completely informal...
so if anybody wants to sing a song
or tell an anecdote...
a funny story...
Let me see. Beanie,
last time you were here...
I heard you sing something.
I ain't got my teeth with me
this time.
This is Radio KGRK, the voice
of North East Arkansas...
bringing you its morning feature,
"A face in the crowd".
Whose face?
It could be yours.
Or yours. People are fascinating
wherever you find them.
This is Marcia Jeffries,
looking for more faces...
this time from the county jail.
Say something.
Don't worry Ma,
everything's fine.
Nicest jail I've been in
in this part of the country.
Hey you, you can do something.
I got black skin,
but I ain't no minstrel.
I'm sorry, Miss Jeffries,
they're just an ordinary bunch.
Where's the drunk from last night
with the guitar? What’s his name?
- Rhodes. That’s him lying there...
- Go and wake him up.
- Watch him, he's mean.
- Miss Jeffries, we'll wake him up.
Hey, wake up!
Morning, Mr. Rhodes,
I'm from Radio...
Get away! Get away!
The sheriff's here.
I don't care if the President
is here.
If a man can't get a little
decent sleep in jail...
Who are you?
I'd like to introduce you
to our radio audience.
Radio?
Join me in a little chat...
Wait a minute!
quit racing your motor.
What do I get out of it?
I mean, Me Myself and I.
Sheriff?
- What’s he in here for?
- A week, drunk and disorderly.
If you'll co-operate, I might
let you out in the morning.
Me too, I'm his manager.
The boys say you don't keep
your word any too good.
You keep your end of the bargain,
I'll keep mine.
Well, OK.
It’s a deal, tomorrow morning.
I'll sing you a song.
I went to Sarah Lawrence College,
I majored in music.
I learned that real American
music comes from the bottom up.
When Gershwin played at the New York
it was black tie music...
but the real beginning of it
was in folks that never owned a tie.
I just bumped into a fella you
never heard of, Rhodes.
What’s your first name?
Jack, or Mack,
what’s the difference?
Calls himself "Lonesome Rhodes".
Lonesome?
Don't be rushing me,
cut that thing off a minute.
Give me a chance to lubricate
my Adam's apple.
Nothing like a little medicine
to put you in the mood.
Ain't mamma a beauty?
A guitar beats a woman
any time!
I never have seen a woman
I could trust like this old guitar.
I love my mamma guitar.
She's always waiting for me
to pick her up and hold her.
Never asks me for money or goes
cheating around when I ain't looking.
If she gets a little sour, I just
give her a little twist like so...
and we're right back
in tune together.
Hey, Lonesome,
sing "Rye whisky".
Lonesome.
"Hallelujah, I'm a bum."
She can see that plain enough.
Whenever a bunch of fellas
like us...
outcasts, hobos, nobodies,
gentlemen loafers...
one time or all time losers,
call us what you want to...
Whenever we get together,
we tell funny stories...
me and Beanie
and the rest of these...
hand-to-mouth tumbleweed boys
like you see in here.
If whisky don't get us,
then women must...
and it looks like...
I'm never gonna cease...
my wandering.
But, deep down,
when we get ready...
to tuck our heads under our wings
and go to sleep...
we ain't kidding ourselves.
We're so low-down Ionely...
the fella we couldn't stand
the sight of this morning...
tonight, when the guards
douse the lights...
and plunge us into darkness...
why that same fella seems like
our nearest, dearest buddy.
Ten thousand miles
away from home.
And I don't even know my name.
But I ain't crying.
No, I ain't crying, because I'm
gonna be a free man in the morning.
You hear that, fellas?
A free man!
The sheriff's gonna open up
his cage...
and I'm gonna be as free
as a bird in the morning.
Hey, maybe I can try putting
a couple of rhymes together...
Sing something dependable
like "Home on the Range".
I ain't gonna sing no
"Home on the Range".
No, sir, not if it means
I rot in here another month.
I'm gonna sing
what I'm gonna be...
a free man in the morning.
Oh, good night, moon.
Moon, you just fade,
fade, fade away.
Oh, good night, moon.
Moon, you just fade away.
And hurry on, Mr. Sun...
bring on the new day.
Oh, bring on the sheriff...
with his great big old key.
Yeah!
Bring on old Big Jeff,
the sheriff of Pickett, Arkansas...
with his big old fat key.
To open up this nasty,
filthy jailhouse...
and make a free man of me.
You got any objections to
being a free man in the morning?
No, sir, I ain't.
Gonna be a free man
in the morning...
free man in the morning...
free man in the morning...
I know the reason...
All right, I'm ready.
Thank you, Lonesome Rhodes,
that was just fine.
You mean to tell me you
had that going all the time?
I'm a sneaky type.
Well, lock me up...
- You like him?
- Yes, sir.
By golly, I think you've got yourself
quite a fella there, quite a fella.
I'd sure like to use him on
our Early Bird Show from to .
Would you let me, Uncle J. B?
Hello, get me the jail, Gladys.
- The jail?
- That’s right, the sheriff.
Or should I say, our future mayor.
That boy may be bashful, Marcia,
but he's pretty sweet on you.
The only thing I'm interested in...
is running the best radio programme
in North East Arkansas.
Hello, Big Jeff?
- Rhodes?
- Yes.
That’s the thing, J. B...
I was only holding him
on a drunk and disorderly.
You've no idea which way
he was headed?
There's only two ways out of town,
and I can hardly see him going west.
He'll be on the east road.
Let’s go after him.
There he is.
Hey! Morning!
We've been looking for you.
Yeah? What for?
This is my uncle, Mr. Jeffries,
who owns our radio station.
Well, how's it feel to be
a free man in the morning?
Where you headed now?
Port St Joe, Florida.
That’s a long walk.
What’s down there?
Oh, plenty of water and
plenty of fishing bridges...
and snapper boats,
and tarpon rolls...
You know, I've always wanted
to catch me a tarpon.
What’s to stop you?
I can't afford it.
I've got a radio station,
newspaper, printing business...
I'm president of the Caguanas...
I can't afford it.
Come on, Beanie.
Listen, I ain't got but or days
to make it to St. Joe.
Unless I steal somebody's car.
Wait a minute, we've got a job
for you.
Every morning on our station,
to .
I don't want no job.
Why not?
Too much like work, man.
Do you have any money?
Mamma will always get me a meal.
I can sleep in a jail.
Come on, try it for a day.
How about if you had a plane ticket?
You can put it in your pocket...
if you ever want to go,
you just go.
Well...
OK. I'll try it for one day.
I'll turn around.
Let’s go.
Take him to the hotel
and get him a room.
And you better clean him up
a bit.
See you around, Beanie.
Get in the back.
Would you mind closing the door?
My goodness, ain't we fussy!
This wardrobe you got, I think
I better send it to the laundry.
I'll wash it myself. That way I can
cut out any time I feel like it.
So early in the morning?
How would you like to come
and get aquainted...
early in the morning?
We really do have to hurry.
I bet you never sat on bed
with a man before.
Really!
Look, I'll meet you downstairs.
Ladies,
or I guess I should say, girls...
the boss lady just shoved
a piece of paper at me...
says I ain't got
but more minutes.
That’s what I've got
against working...
it’s tangled up
with the word "hurry".
Back in my town,
we had a cousin named Harry...
they all called him Hurry 'cause
he was always running someplace.
Till one day he fell down a flight
of steps and broke his fool neck.
We put a sign on his grave
that said...
"He was in such a hurry,
he couldn't wait to get here."
Shucks, I was just going to add on
a verse about being a free woman.
I bet a lot of you dream of that...
with all the breakfast dishes
piling up in the sink...
and cranky husbands
to get off to work.
Ain't it a shame how they
get on about everything...
because they ain't got the gumption
to take it out on their boss?
Well, good-bye, dear,
I'm late for work.
I hate to talk against
my own kind but I never saw...
a man who could appreciate
how hard you women have to work.
They think running water over a dish
is all there is to it.
They never see you clean the grease
out of the sink...
or wiping out of the oven
the gravy...
or the apple juice that sizzles over
the side of the dish onto your grill.
How would he know that?
Listen to this.
"Dear Lonesome, though I never
set eyes on you..."
Listen. "I know you must be
saintly looking.
Only a saint could understand the
burdens of a housewife like you do."
They all say the same. They love
his voice, his guitar, his ideas.
They should know
some of them.
You're not fooling me,
you're proud of him.
There hasn't been mail like this
since you started the station.
Hello.
Hello, Wayne.
Oh, so you like the fella?
OK, I guess we can put you down
for three one-minute spots.
Thanks for calling, bye.
Well, advertisers are
actually calling to buy time.
This station will make
a little money yet.
Go easy on the advertising.
I don't think he wants to stay.
Marcia, you found him,
it’s your job to get him...
Honey, whenever you see
this well running dry...
you just come over here again.
That’s right, Lonesome.
I'm afraid that’s going
to be your name.
My real intimate friends
call me Larry.
You can call me Larry.
That’s a good chaser.
Did you always drink like that?
Not always, back in Riddle
I was pretty straight.
I didn't touch hard liquor
till I was or .
Is there really a town
called Riddle?
To tell you the truth it’s just
sort of a what do you call it...
Composite?
Compost heap is more like it.
Where are you from?
From all over.
Any town you mention for miles,
I lived in a day or two.
What did your father do?
He was a spieler
with a two-bit con.
"Now, if each of you hand me
your $ bills...
I'm gonna favour you
with a five dollar gift."
Still loved him, didn't you?
He left us when I was
knee high to a beer barrel.
You mother took care of you?
Never mind about her.
What about those uncles
you talk about?
Uncles?
If I'd a nickel for every time I
fell asleep waiting for my old lady.
When I'd wake up she'd say,
"Your uncle's sleeping".
I'd say "Uncle Lou?"
She'd say "No, this is
your Uncle Mike, Uncle Moe".
There wasn't a town in Arkansas or
Missouri I didn't have an uncle in.
Yes, ma'am. My old lady sure was
generous about taking in relatives.
Yet you grew up
so happy-go-lucky.
You put your whole self
in that laugh.
Marcia, I put my whole self
into everything I do.
You turned down my invite
to go out with this tramp?
No! Stop it! Stop it!
Thanks for the pies, girls.
You're going to spoil me.
Well, I reckon I've sung at you
enough for one morning.
Maybe I'll wind up with a joke.
Let’s see...
Yeah, I got one.
Sheriff Big Jeff Bess.
You say that ain't no joke?
The fact he's running for mayor
strikes me as kind of funny.
You know, back in my little town,
Riddle...
the way we elect fellas
to office is...
we try to figure which fella can
best be spared from useful labour.
Like, you take
the village half-wit...
Now, in most places, he's going
to be put on town relief...
but in Riddle, as an economy measure,
we make him the dog catcher.
But, now,
this sheriff of yours...
I don't say
nothing against him...
but if you've any mutts
you want rid of...
why don't you take them to his place
to see if he can handle the job.
Here, Whitey!
Here, Whitey!
How does it feel?
How does what feel?
Saying whatever comes in your head
and being able to sway people.
Yeah, I guess I can.
Yeah, I guess I can.
And now, an amusing example of
grass roots democracy in action.
It seems there's a small town
radio personality...
called "Lonesome Rhodes"
out in Arkansas...
who literally sent a mayoralty
candidate to the dogs.
Larry, Larry.
Just plough out through and keep
going, leave the rest to me.
Thanks for bringing up
my breakfast.
This is Mr. Steiner,
all the way from Memphis.
Mr. Rhodes. I'm one of the oldest
theatrical agents in the mid south.
I book a lot of acts for
the Grand Old Opera.
I discovered Hank Snow,
and Webb Pierce...
and the first morning I heard you,
I said to myself...
"Steiner, that man's got power."
Not just catchy songs
and funny stories, power.
How would you like
to come to Memphis, sir?
Memphis?
You put me in mind of Will Rogers
when he first came to Memphis.
I can make you a star, boy,
if you put yourself in my hands.
Shucks, I'm just a country boy.
I'm not even sure I want to stay
in this radio business.
I'm not one of these
hard pressure fellas.
But, do you mind
if I call you again?
No.
Miss Jeffries.
Grand Old Opera,
that’s the big time.
It never hurt none to play
hard to get.
You ought to know that.
You don't seem to be pining
for lack of company.
I get extra hungry
in the morning.
You cold fish respectable girls.
Inside you crave the same things
as the rest of them.
Tell the truth.
You're on in minutes.
It’s so hot this morning,
the creek gave up.
I mean it was bone dry.
So the young ones figure
they ain't got no place to swim.
But my boss...
old J.B. Jeffries,
he's got a fine swimming pool...
right here in town.
So why don't you kids
go to his place for a ducking?
J. B will be proud
to have you.
Can you hear them?
Can you hear them, splashing?
That’s your curly-headed
little darlings, enjoying...
J.B. Jeffries' kind of hospitality.
Mr. Rhodes, telephone.
He's on the air.
It’s the Memphis TV Station,
he says Steiner told him about you.
Well, shucks, I can talk
to him on the air.
All these folks are my friends,
I ain't got nothing to hide.
Hello there, partner.
What’s that?
You want me to come on TV in
Memphis? With this kisser of mine?
All I can say is
you're a brave man.
$ a week?
Confederate?
$ ?
We can do better than that.
Partner, leaving Pickett is like
leaving my own flesh and blood.
Now, if I've got to take leave
of these good folks...
I'd rather try it for nothing
for a couple of weeks...
and if you ain't satisfied,
or if I get homesick for Arkansas...
back I come and
nobody gets hurt.
But, if we find we get along...
you make it
a $ a week.
Yeah, you get the idea.
And transportation for yours truly
and my little Girl Friday...
not to mention Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday, Marcia Jeffries.
I'm glad you're going with him,
take care of him.
I'll sure try.
Take good care of yourself.
Marcia!
Come on, honey.
We'll be late, come on.
The train will leave,
come on.
Bye!
Bye Lucy, so long, Luther,
you write to me now.
I'll be thinking of you.
Am I glad to shake that dump!
I was only kidding, honey...
you should know me better
than to believe everything I say.
Bye! Bye!
Good-bye and God bless
you good people!
If I'd known you'd put lipstick
on me, I'd have never come.
Stop complaining,
you look beautiful.
This is Mel Miller, the station's
assigned him as your writer.
Writer?
You're gonna have an easy job.
I don't do much reading.
I just work out the continuity.
What are you, eastern college?
No, I went to school
in Nashville.
I was Vanderbilt .
OK, Vanderbilt .
Mr. Rhodes, we're ready for you.
Hey, what are you doing
to that make-up?
seconds, ready on one,
stand by two...
Just be natural, easy
and relax, real country.
When that red light is on,
that camera is on you.
Now, put this in your mouth.
I think that straw's gonna be
a nice touch.
Here he is, a newcomer
to Memphis Television...
but sure to become an old friend.
"A face in the crowd",
starring that Arkansas traveller...
Lonesome Rhodes.
What do you want?
Howdy.
I've never seen myself
on one of these things before.
So if I start admiring myself
on this...
What do you call it?
Monitor.
Monitor. Show folks
what I'm talking about, will you?
The director said
all I had to do was...
He said I had to act like
I was looking straight at you...
but he forgot to say there'd be
a redeye looking straight at me.
You know, it does look
kind of familiar though...
It reminds me of my Uncle Ivan
after a night of drinking...
that fine old five star
corn liquor.
He put a star on the bottle
for every day it aged.
If the ocean was moonshine
and I was a duck...
I'd dive...
I'm too tired
to sing this morning.
What’s the matter with you
big city fellas anyhow?
Don't you ever go to bed
around here?
Last night, I settled down
for my hour nap in the hotel...
and moly hoses, what a honking...
and lights a-flashing and
girls a-giggling on the street!
So I called the desk on the telephone
they've got in every room.
"What’s going on?" I said...
"It ain't New Year's Eve,
by any chance?"
"No," he said...
"It’s just ten o'clock at night
in Memphis".
So I pulled back on my duds and went
out to see what the commotion was.
Hey, Mr. Cameraman,
move that redeye a little closer.
He's already telling us what to do.
I want to talk face to face
with my friends out there.
Which one of these holes
do I look in?
One thing I could see right off
about a big city...
there's a whole lot of people
in trouble out there.
You don't see it much in the daytime
when everyone's hustling around...
rushing from where they is
to where they ain't...
but it’s at night,
late at night...
around o'clock in the morning
it’s what I call "the dividing line".
All you've got left
is folks in trouble.
I'm gonna tell you people something
happened to me this morning.
I'm going to tell you, and see if
it don't happen to you the same way.
If it don't move your hearts...
you're just a bunch of
big city pickle hearts.
I'll pack up my one shirt and
the Bible my daddy gave me...
and my cigar box guitar...
and I'll just get me
on home to Riddle.
It’s true about the one shirt,
but I've yet to see the Bible.
The way he talks about the night,
I couldn't write it that well.
Come out here.
Don't be scared of this,
at least no more than I am.
A coloured woman.
In Memphis, that takes nerve.
I told you, he's his own man.
You just tell folks
the same thing you told me.
You see, it’s my house...
It burnt down.
She's got seven young ones...
Helen, look what they're having
on television, now.
It’s about time.
She just walked around, because
she didn't have no place else to go.
I didn't know a single
living soul in Memphis.
Are you kidding?
I bet you've got
friends out there.
Each one will prove it
by sending bucks...
so you can build a decent house
for those brats of yours.
Now, please, noboby send in
more than $ . ...
you might not be able to spare it.
If you've got over $
cut in for that house of hers.
They're gonna be looking out for you,
ain't you, folks?
Lonesome! You should see how
the money is pouring in!
Get out of bed,
you've got a client!
What’s that?
It’s a mattress company,
that means you get your $ .
Stand still, you slob.
Here, get your hand in here.
Here it comes.
That sure is prettier music than
a cigar box guitar.
There's eighteen thousand
five hundred...
and forty-one...
of these things so far,
and we ain't hardly started.
Mrs. Tooley says thank you...
you good people.
You folks are building a house.
Ain't nothing you can't do when you
let the best side of you take over.
Oh, I see the old clock-watcher
going this way.
He wants me to make sure
I leave time for the commercial.
You didn't know I had a sponsor,
did you?
Neither did I till I woke up
this morning.
He's a good looking scoundrel,
ain't he?
What?
Yeah, I've got the commercial
on me somewhere. Let’s see...
Johnny Longshot’s tip
for the Daily Double...
No. No, that ain't it.
"Lonesome...
darling, you ain't forgetting
your little Arkansas Annie...?
No, that surely ain't it.
This is it.
Friends "comma" why not invest
in sleep insurance "question mark".
That is what you will be doing
when you buy your...
Luffler Easy-Rest
mattress "period".
It comes in six tasty flavours...
Well, that’s about enough
commercials.
Personally, when I'm dog-tired,
I sleep on the floor.
One of the best night’s sleep
I ever had was in a box car.
They say that a firm mattress
is better for your spine...
but if you follow that, ain't it
better just to sleep on the floor?
But, if you softies insist
on sleeping on a bed...
I reckon you can do worse
than a Luffler Easy-Rest.
End of commercial.
Maybe also the end
of Lonesome Rhodes.
Seriously, I was on the phone
with Mr. Luffler for half an hour.
I'm sure he's seen us
and hasn't even looked around.
He's got a loophole
in his contract...
and if you kill his commercial once
more, he'll walk right through it.
Hi there, Lonesome.
Hey!
Boy, I almost forgot.
I got those tickets for the plug
you gave this morning.
I guess you didn't know
I do a little shlockmeistering.
Shlockmeistering!
You just slip in a remark about these
products and they pay you in kind.
A case of beer, free drinks
at the Elrose Cafe, all that jazz...
I tell you, it mounts up.
Isn't that illegal? Stealing time
from regular sponsors?
Illegal?
Honey, nothing's illegal
if they don't catch you.
See you, Joe.
OK, see you around.
Who was that?
Joe, Luffler's office boy.
He won't be an office boy long.
Mr. Luffler doesn't like what
I said about his mattress.
Shucks, I said you could get a good
night’s sleep on one of them...
if you're real tired.
There I go again.
I just can't get my mouth around
the things they want me to say.
But, I'll try.
And now, a message of importance.
Now, you good people ain't so dumb
you don't know what’s important.
The atom bomb's important,
things like that.
A Luffler mattress
won't break your back...
but it sure ain't no
world-shaking message.
Just in case you won't be seeing me
again... Fellas, come on.
Here's a little song
to remember me by.
Give me an "E"...
Well, good-bye, Mr. Luffler,
and thanks for the ride...
I'd like to have your money,
but I'd rather have my pride.
On this corny old commercial
we just cannot agree...
so you can tear up my contract...
make a free man of me!
Going to be...
a free man in the morning...
a free man in the morning...
a free man in the morning...
I know the reason why.
Yes, Mr. Luffler.
Get me my lawyer.
Yes.
Who is it?
It’s me, Lonesome.
Larry.
I've come to say good-bye.
Just a minute.
I just wanted to say
I'm gonna hit the road.
Where to?
What’s the difference?
For Mr. Luffler.
He's firing me unless I promise to
show him my scripts in advance.
There ain't no script,
I'm just me.
Stay. Even after what you
did for Mrs Tooley?
I'm not my brother's keeper.
You are and you don't know it.
I don't cow tow to
no mattress company.
See you in jail, sometime.
We shook them up a little bit.
Had a run for our money.
Larry.
Come here.
Did I call you a cold fish,
Marcia?
Marcia...
it’s short for marshmallow.
My little marshmallow.
This way, please.
Joey, the boss wants you.
That’s terrible.
Mr. Luffler, since you hired
Lonesome Rhodes...
up to an including yesterday,
our sales have increased º/º.
I smell smoke.
I know he's hurt your feelings, but
as a merchandise man I must say...
that a º/º jump in sales
is quite a painkiller.
- I'll think it over.
- You called for me?
Yes.
I can always get him back!
For the credit department.
Yes, sir.
Joey...
You're a smart lad.
Do you think I acted hasty
in firing him?
I wouldn't let anyone
ridicule my product.
Your wife on one.
Yes, dear?
Would you mind
your own business dear?
Would you tell the Ladies' Garden
Club to mind its own business?
Credit department. Get me Browning,
Schlegel and McNally in New York.
Don't worry, it’s kosher, Luffler
gave me a message for them.
Do you know the number?
It’s the biggest ad agency
in New York.
Browning, Schlegel and McNally,
try information.
Browning, Schlegel and McNally,
long distance from Memphis?
Just a moment.
A Mr. Joseph De Palma, from Memphis,
he represents Lonesome Rhodes.
It’s a crazy business we're in.
This is about some joker called
Lonesome Rhodes on a local Memphis...
Hey, he topped both CBS and NBC
down there.
Hello. Mr. De Palma?
Hello, I just thought
I'd let you know...
that Lonesome Rhodes
is being flooded with offers.
If you happen to be interested,
o'clock is our deadline.
All right.
I'll call you back at five.
Five. Well, my pleasure.
I caught that show on my vacation,
he's a living doll.
Could be.
EBDNO, in New York City.
Marcia.
Marcia?
You told me to pick you up
in time for the show.
Hey, have you seen Lonesome?
You'll find him in there.
In here?
Oh, you mean in here?
I wouldn't barge in there
if I were you.
I'm not you.
Hey, hey, Lonesome!
Lonesome, boy, hey!
Yeah, yeah, who is it?
It’s destiny, that’s who it is.
Joe Destiny. Hi.
Child, I sold your show.
To the big time.
You wouldn't know it,
THE advertising company.
I got them bidding against
the Cutler Agency, MCA...
Who?
and a dozen others you won't know.
Look...
BSNM wants you for primetime.
o'clock, coast to coast.
I told them we'd let them know
at . hours.
Boy, I tell you,
we're on to New York.
We are?
They asked me if you had a New York
agent. Would you like to meet him?
A bum out of jail in Pickett,
Arkansas...
and a Memphis office boy!
Go, baby!
Yes, sir! Go, daddy-o!
Hey, will you sign this?
Thank you.
Now, in the last quarter, gentlemen,
and Miss Valerie...
we have spent over $
of General Hainsworth's money...
to make this country
Vitajex conscious.
And all we've succeeded in doing...
Next chart, please...
is dropping from º/º of the market
to º/º. Now I...
Mr. Macey, I'm late for the dog food
meeting. Can I say my say and go?
Yes.
I've gone over this product
pretty carefully in the lab.
Vitajex has a few grains
of aspirin...
a little sugar, that might
give you some energy...
but, frankly,
General or no General...
we've nothing to sell.
Strike that from the transcript,
Miss Murray.
You know General Hainsworth always
reads the product group reports.
I can't help it, I was hired
as a research chemist.
Dr. Wiley, there's nothing wrong
with Vitajex, is there?
It won't kill you,
if that’s what you mean.
It’s relatively harmless,
like a patent medicine...
Thank you, doctor. Now, let’s
get this train back on the tracks.
With all due respect to our
estimable television department...
He hates our guts.
and it’s sudden enthusiasm...
for Lonesome Rhodes...
I think we need a dignified sell.
I'd like a minute participation
on the Ed Murrow show.
Mr. Rhodes is here, sir.
Don't you think...
I mean, it’s irregular.
I just thought if you and the boys
got a look at him...
you'd see why the TV shop
is sold on him.
Gentlemen, Lonesome Rhodes.
Hi, folks.
Howdy.
I'm here to sell these kidney pills
or whatever the heck they are.
Hey, what’s the matter?
You got no spittoons around here?
Denise, would you bring
the gentleman a spittoon?
Now, what’s your particular
problem, Mr. Fuzzy Lip?
Sit down, Mr. Rhodes.
You may as well know...
Vitajex is the sick sister in
the International Drug family.
They're getting ready
to put out a smaller pill...
Jim, before we make
any hasty decisions...
Look at these poor little
white pills you're trying to peddle.
They're kind of pale,
got no charge to them.
I got an idea.
Let’s make them yellow.
The colour of sunshine
and energy.
Gives a fella the get up and go
that sets him up with the ladies.
I guess...
if you want to be bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed...
just gobble up a handful of Vitajex
and your battery's charged. Watch.
I am ready!
I mean, I am in the mood!
My personality undergoes
a startling change.
I got your spittoon...
I'm going to get you,
you little redhead!
That’s what Vitajex does to me and
I haven't even swallowed them yet.
You college geniuses want
dignity on your programme.
Where I come from,
a fella looks too dignified...
he's looking to steal your watch!
I'll move your merchandise!
Peace.
Peace.
Oh, Vitajex,
what are you doing to me?
Oh, Vitajex,
what are you doing to me?
You fill me full of ecstasy!
Oh, Vitajex,
what are you doing to me?
Oh...
Vitajex...
Vitajex,
what are you doing to me?
Vitajex,
what are you doing to me?
You fill me full of ecstasy!
Vitajex puts a gleam in your eye.
Vitajex puts a gleam in your eye.
Keep your eye on that rating.
Do it again.
Vitajex puts a gleam in your eye.
Fills you full of...
And each pill contains units...
of energy-giving endrocaine.
Vitajex, jex, jex
makes you go, go, go!
Keep your eye on that rating.
That’s why Vitajex
gives you that get up and go.
Do you have trouble with your girl?
Does she look elsewhere?
Here's how Vitajex
solved his problem.
Vitajex!
It fills me full of ecstasy!
See what I mean?
This is General Hainsworth.
I've just seen Lonesome
on the television, and I like him.
Why don't you take Vitajex...
like Lonesome Rhodes does?
She's talking about the new
large economy size.
I bought my boyfriend
a ten year supply.
Now, the soft sell.
- Keep your eye on the ratings.
- Vitajex, Vitajex, Vitajex.
Vitajex, what are you doing to me?
Now, the hard sell.
Vitajex, . .
General, I'm willing
to put myself on record.
I say he's a risk, uncooperative
and unpredictable.
We've spent tens of thousands
to find out the key words...
like "racing" and "zestful".
Rhodes has the audacity to tear us
to shreds in front of the audience.
. .
General, where are you?
If you'll forgive us,
we have to get back to town.
Why, hello, girls!
How's Princeton
and the old lady?
Afraid I'm making these
fellas unhappy.
I'm not in the business
to make them happy...
but of putting the public in
the frame of mind to buy Vitajex.
Exactly.
Excuse us, dear. Poor Mace,
he's already had one heart attack...
and you're winding him up
to another.
Well, that’s his hard luck.
Hello, Senator!
Did you have a fine flight?
Splendid! Splendid. I'll join you
when I get freshened up a bit.
My guest, Senator Fuller, I'd like
to see him in the White House.
Don't they call him
the last of the Isolationists?
Maybe, in some of those
left-wing papers.
Rhodes, I want you to get to know
people like that.
I'd like to take you under my wing
and educate you.
Shucks, general,
I'm just a country boy.
Young man, never forget
Will Rogers.
He was just a gum chewing
rope twirling cowboy...
but he got to where he was
telling off presidents and kings.
General, my thinking is the second
section of the same train.
I've always gone in for
long range planning.
Right now, Lonesome
is merely popular, very popular...
but Lonesome Rhodes could be
made into an influence.
A wielder of opinion,
an institution...
positively sacred to his country,
like the Washington monument.
I suspect your idealistic young lady
disagrees with me...
but my study of history
has convinced me...
that in every strong society
from the Egyptians on...
the mass had to be guided
with a strong hand...
by a responsible elite.
Let us not forget that in TV
we have the greatest instrument...
for mass persuasion
in the history of the world.
I don't mean
to flatter you, sir...
What? Oh, yes. Well, let’s
have a go at it, shall we?
Roger, Roger!
Are you jotting this down?
First, I'll see if I can sell Henry
on the idea of a "Life" cover.
Remind me to call him for lunch.
I proudly dedicate to you...
the latest hybrid iris
of our horticultural laboratory.
The "Unusfloratorum"...
We girls call it
"The Lonesome Rhodes".
I christen thee
the "USS Rhodes".
And so, on behalf of our
great commonwealth...
I'm proud to dedicate
one of nature's wonders...
henceforth and forever
to be known as...
"Mount Rhodes".
And now, Lonesome,
back in those difficult days...
you had a pal.
We flew him to New York tonight...
to help recall the struggle
and joys of times gone by.
Because, Lonesome Rhodes,
you lived it!
Hey, Lonesome!
Beanie!
You old scoundrel,
where have you been?
Here, go out and get yourself
some good liquor.
Thank you, New York,
thank you, thank you!
Hey, listen to this...
The boys in our ward
at the Veterans' hospital...
just got together
and donated $ . .
You ask me how I can keep going
hours without sleep?
Man, this is better than sleep!
Didn't I tell you, kid?
Didn't I tell you?
Do you still want me
to hold this sign?
As general manager of
the Sherry Towers...
it’s my honour to present you
with a gold key...
to the two top floors of
New York's finest hotel.
To the very top!
You can't get much higher.
Hello.
Larry.
What time is it?
Marcia, you've got to come over.
I never shoulïve let Joe sell me the
idea of a penthouse over the offices.
rooms to be alone in.
I feel like a shipwrecked fella
on an island.
Larry, I know that island,
it’s populated with friendly girls.
Marcia, honey, believe me,
it’s a matter of life and death.
Call me soon, doll.
Larry?
If you don't come
I'll dive off the balcony...
and I'm ten blocks from the lake.
Marcia, come out here.
I had a girl up here tonight.
I get restless.
I lied to you. When it’s over
I'm Ionelier than I was before.
Come out here a minute.
Look at all those TV aerials
sticking up like branches.
There's a whole forest of them
from here to San Diego.
All waiting to hear
what I have to say.
Is that why you woke me
in the middle of the night?
What I'm trying to say is all them
millions of people believing it...
doing what I tell them to...
scares me.
The General and all them big-shots
trying to educate me.
Educate, or use you?
That’s it, the General says
the country needs me.
I'm supposed to be an influence.
It’s mighty tall grass, Marcia.
We're getting in deep, Marcia.
Deeper than we ever dreamed
when we started out in Arkansas.
I know I act like I just ate the
western hemisphere for breakfast.
But, down here in the boiler room,
I know I need advice.
And not the kind I get from Joey,
or the Madison Avenue lot...
who'll betray me
as soon as my back is turned.
No, I know when I come
to the top of a mountain...
I need you.
Because you're level with me.
You're my lifeline to truth.
Well...
marry me, Marcia.
Please?
That’s what I called you
over here for.
Can't keep anything alive up here.
Dust in this city kills everything.
Larry.
Don't play with me.
Don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me.
Marcia, there's a lady to see you.
A lady?
She's got a dress on.
I don't want to see anybody.
OK, I'll tell her to move it out.
I'm sorry ma'am...
Are you the...
I am Mrs. Rhodes.
Are you related to Mr. Rhodes?
But, you're not his mother?
His wife.
All right, Beanie.
Isn't he something?
Do you turn this down a little?
So...
You're Lonesome's new tootsie?
Lonesome, that’s a hot one.
I hope you had better luck
keeping him Ionesome than I did.
You should understand that I'm just
a business associate of Mr. Rhodes.
Ain't you something!
The floor manager of your programme
is my brother in law's first cousin.
He told me where I could find you.
So you come off it, little lady.
Do you mind...?
Mr. Rhodes might have done me
the courtesy of telling me himself.
Mr. Rhodes don't do no courtesies
to nobody.
I could write a book about him.
Is the purpose of your visit
to collect material?
Oh, I came to collect,
but it ain't material.
Unless you get Larry to pay me
three grand a month...
not only will I not divorce him...
but I'll make it plenty hot
for the both of you.
I already got some feelings
from confidential magazines.
I'm not engaged to your husband.
Larry thinks he has to take a bite
out of every broad he comes across.
Then he calls them a tramp,
drops them...
all sort of psycho-something
or other, you know?
I caught him red-handed
with my best girlfriend.
He broke my jaw.
Seems to be working quite
effectively now.
Mrs. Rhodes, if you'll excuse me,
I'm very busy this morning.
Well, tell Larry, G a month,
and he's yours.
An old fashioned marriage...
is my favourite marriage.
It’s a sincere type song.
Should be a big hit.
An old fashioned kiss
needs a silvery...
Oh, shut up!
The Backward Barons are
rehearsing our new theme song.
Very catchy.
Lonesome wrote it.
Actually, two fellas wrote it.
Of course, their names aren't on it.
General,
we wanted to show you this.
Lonesome designed it himself,
the reaction machine.
You just push these little levers,
it can laugh.
Giggle.
"Ah".
- Ain't that good?
- Most ingenious.
We're thinking of putting them
on the market.
A Lonesome Rhodes
automatic reactor.
Mechanical laughter and applause,
what are we coming to?
We're coming to a bigger model.
I'm sorry to end this,
it’s most interesting...
but I've got a date at my club,
lunch with Senator Fuller.
What’s the matter?
General, I wish you had time
to see our whole operation.
You're wound tighter than a clock,
what’s up?
Next time you propose, you might
consider getting unmarried first.
Listen, Beanie told me,
it ain't as bad as you think.
I got a divorce, a couple
of years ago in Mexico.
But the judge got indicted for fraud
so my ex claimed...
The latest ratings, Mr. Rhodes.
Hallelujah!
Rhodes, . .
Opposition, . .
That other fella's gonna be
jumping out of windows.
So, like I say, the ex claimed
the divorce was a fraud too...
I've got a good lawyer
working it out in Juarez.
If I go down there, he'll
get it off my back in hours.
Don't play with me,
I'm not one of your girls.
On a stack of Bibles, Marcia.
Saturday I'm going to be in Pickett
judging the drum majorette contest.
I'll go straight
from there to Mexico.
Next time you hear from me,
it’ll be from Juarez, believe me.
That is just dreadful...
"We also take in laundry."
That’s a new one.
Welcome to the black hole
of Calcutta.
This is one place they
didn't show the General.
Naturally, here are the lepers
of the great TV industry...
men without faces.
They even slide our cheques under
the door to pretend we're not here.
Ha, ha, ha!
Think of the satisfaction
of being a small cog...
in the great wheel of humanity
"Lonesome Rhodes".
Ha, ha, ha!
Sounds like she's coming over
to our side.
Ha, ha, ha!
Why don't you quit?
Why don't you quit?
I'm deeply involved with him.
Spoken like a lady.
Got his introduction ready?
Home town boy, not only making
good, but making everybody.
For a mild man,
you sound vicious.
Didn't you know?
All mild men are vicious.
They hate themselves for being mild
and the extroverts whose violence...
has a strange attraction for
nice girls who should know better.
Today, "A face in the crowd"
takes you on a sentimental journey...
as Lonesome Rhodes, your old
Arkansas traveller goes home...
to the typical dirt road
cotton-picking town of Pickett.
Where America's favourite country
cousin got his humble start...
he now returns to the simple folk
who loved him first.
The latest face in the crowd,
the lucky, talented girl...
whom he will select from
hundreds of contestants...
as Miss Arkansas Drum Majorette
of .
And here's the man
you've been waiting for...
Look at them.
Look at them!
Ain't that the most?
I mean the most!
Fantastic.
Country people.
The heart of America,
the salt of the earth.
Hey, Beanie, L.R.!
"We love L.R.".
Lonesome!
Hi, you all!
It’s dangerous.
What, baton twirling?
No, power.
You've got to be a saint to stand
the power that box gives you.
Oh, it’s wonderful!
She's only seventeen.
She looks like a very sweet child.
Friends...
Friends...
Friends...
my heart is too full...
to say anything more...
than welcome back
to Pickett.
A great artist...
a great humanitarian...
a great American.
Our very own
Lonesome Rhodes.
Friends...
fellow Arkansasians,
fellow Americans...
I know I should start off
with a funny story...
about my kin folk in Riddle...
but I just feel too humble
this afternoon...
as I look out on this fine
representative body...
of wholesome young
American womanhood.
You know I've been a fan
of baton swirling from way back.
I think it’s a honest to God
American art form.
Here's a number I just recorded
for the Golden Oak Label.
You kids might enjoy
twirling to it.
Here she goes,
"Mamma guitar"!
Oh, yeah.
Our first contestant will be...
Miss Suzanne McKinley
of Beagelstown...
let’s have a real doozie, Suzie!
And now, Miss Linda Bruce
from Ganderstown.
Go, girl, go!
From the town of Snakebite...
Miss Peggy May Hardy.
Let’s see you twirl it
and swirl it Peggy May!
I give you
Miss Mary Jane Johnson...
from the neighbouring village
of Pocahontas.
And now,
Miss Betty Lou Fleckum.
And I say, that the winner...
by unanimous decision
and that’s me...
is little Miss Betty Lou Fleckum!
Miss Arkansas Drum Majorette...
of !
I'm so excited...
I'm sorry.
You're my idol, honest.
I pasted your picture
on the ceiling over my bed...
so you're the first thing I see
when I wake up in the morning.
Well, bless your heart.
- What will you have?
- Water, I have a family.
- Hello.
- Mace, good show.
Yes, I think it went well.
Hi, Beryl.
Mace, that baton bit
was the living end.
Thanks.
As Lonesome said,
it’s an American art form.
A glass of water, Joe.
Oh, peach of a show, Miss Jeffries.
Should boost the ratings.
Poor Macey.
Lives on a diet of hydroglycerine
and ratings.
Call it a Bible, but it’s really
a death warrant with decimal points.
- Here you are, sir.
- Thanks.
Miss J, this just came for you.
Being in this place
is just like being in the office.
Not quite. Joe, two more, please
and this time would you just...
let the vermouth blow a kiss
at the gin?
Our barefoot boy won't be flying in
tonight. He's hopping over to Juarez.
"Get Arthur Godfrey to fill in,
I'll do the same for him someday.
Counting on you to hold the fort."
This shoulder's getting a permanent
callus from holding that fort.
What’s in Juarez?
Bars...
lawyers, quick marriages...
quick divorces.
Then, this is it?
You're blushing.
Sixty to one martinis.
I suppose I should be a gentleman
and wish you all the happiness.
I think I'll just be a cad and hope
he chokes on a Vitajex pill.
You look nice.
Larry!
Make sure you get the bride.
This is great stuff.
Officer, I'm his fiancée.
- Did you say married?
- Sure did.
This lady had done me the honour
of becoming Mrs. Lonesome Rhodes.
We did it in Juarez.
Easy, fellas, I just got her.
Where are you going?
Miss, I'm Earl Wilson,
what are your measurements?
Hey, what are you trying to do?
Are you out of your mind?
Get it up there.
That’s it.
Their names are Kiko and Pico.
Kiko and Pico!
Well, here she is.
My little Arkansas sweet potato,
Betty Lou.
I ain't been so happy since the day
I fell into Grandpa's corn liquor...
and just guzzled my way
down to dry land.
I don't reckon I'll be a free man
tomorrow morning.
But if this ain't freedom...
man, it’s the next best thing.
And now...
you want to see
what first caught my eye?
And what second caught my eye?
And what keeps on...
and on catching my eyes?
Ladies and gentlemen...
I give you
Mrs. Lonesome Rhodes.
Doing her unbelievable...
double five baton
twirling dance...
to the scherzo
from the th Symphony...
by Ludwig van Beethoven.
Mr. Rhodes...
could I talk to you
for just a minute, please?
I told you I didn't want you agents
nagging me.
I've been with Browning, Schlegal
and McNally for years...
in charge of the
International Drug account.
The General just told me
he's taking his business away.
Your young Mr. De Palma
has wormed his way in...
Look, Macey, Joe De Palma's
doing a heck of a job for me.
But, you know this business,
it’s cut-throat...
Look, Macey...
If a rating nose-dives
or if you lose a client...
even if it isn't your fault,
the executive has to go.
Mr. Rhodes, if I lose this account,
I'll be fired.
I've got a son in Princeton...
Rhodes, you've seen my...
You've seen my office...
A corner office
with four windows.
Do you know how long it
takes to get a corner...?
I was afraid to marry you,
that’s the truth.
The dirt root cotton-picking truth.
Last time you said
you were afraid not to.
Both were true,
you sort of overawe me.
You know more than I do...
I figured you'd be so doggone
critical all the time.
You and that smart alec Mel.
You don't really approve of me.
That’s so, ain't it?
You're getting to be all the things
you used to harpoon.
See what I mean?
The bigger I get,
the smaller you make me feel.
You take Betty Lou.
Don't try to explain.
Betty Lou is your public...
all wrapped up in ribbons
in a cute little package.
She's the logical culmination
of the great love affair...
between Lonesome Rhodes
and his audience.
Well, I wish you weren't
so bitter.
I'm not bitter.
If I sound stridently female about
Miss Majorette, I don't mean to be.
I knew you'd married her
just as a way of not marrying me.
Look, Marcia, I'm not forgetting
what I owe you.
I'll give you a healthy slice
of our operation.
º/º of my end...
You won't have to lift a finger
with what I'm giving you.
Giving me? Giving me?
You're not giving me anything!
And you're not throwing me off
the train like poor Abe Steiner!
"Face in the crowd"
was my idea.
The whole idea of Lonesome Rhodes
belongs to me!
I always shoulïve been an equal
partner. Well, now I'm going to be!
I'm going to get
something I deserve.
That doesn't sound like you.
And I want it on paper!
OK. All right.
I'll tell George to draw up
the papers.
Look at yourself
in the mirror, Marcia.
You'll see a millionaire.
There's always Vanderbilt .
He's going back to Memphis.
He wants to forget us both.
I know he'd wait for you
till there was ice on the equator.
That’s how long he did wait.
When people ask me, Walter,
"Where do you get all that news?"
I invariably tell them I usually
get it from a lot of people...
who promised someone
they'd keep it a secret.
As, for example...
just what is Lonesome Rhodes going
to talk to General Hainsworth about?
Oh, General,
oh, Lonesome Rhodes...
And now, Mike Wallace interviews
Senator Worthington Fuller.
Senator, do you mean
you are not infected...
- with the presidential itch?
- Itch?
Senator, is it not a fact that you
have a date tomorrow night...
for what is known as Madison Avenue
coaching from Lonesome Rhodes...
in General Hainsworth's
private projection room?
I have said,
it calls for the closest scrutiny.
I am unable to persuade myself
and to believe...
that the blatant squandering
of American wealth...
at home and abroad
is a road to a sound peace.
Thank you all...
and good evening all.
Lights!
I know it’s not what the people
want to hear...
but I know what’s best for them.
We think so too, that’s why
everyone in this room...
wants you to be the next
President of the United States.
But your problem is getting
the voters to listen to you.
Getting them to like you
enough to listen to you.
Senator, I've got to be blunt.
Your TV appearances have been,
well, catastrophes.
Wouldn't you say, Lonesome?
Beanie, did you check the ratings
for the Senator on "Face the People"?
Brutal.
Excuse me, . .
Go ahead.
We've got to face it, politics have
entered a new stage, television.
Instead of long-winded debates,
the people want slogans.
"Time for a change" "The mess in
Washington" "More bang for a buck".
Punch-lines and glamour.
Yes, Mr. Furness, even glamour.
My papers have supported
Worthington Fuller...
from the first day he ran for office,
he's not a grandstander...
a backslapper or a baby-kisser.
That’s exactly what
he's got to become.
The majority in this country
don't see eye to eye with him.
We've got to find million buyers
for the product "Worthington Fuller".
You underestimate the respect...
Respect? Did you ever hear
of anyone buying any product...
beer, hair rinse, tissue,
because they respect it?
You've got to be loved, man.
Loved.
I may be old-fashioned but I think
there is still a distinction...
between politics and, well,
the field you're in.
Bull.
I beg your pardon, sir?
Sorry if I tread on your corns,
but I said "bull".
Politics is people.
- Mr. Rhodes...
- Now, now...
The General asked me to come here.
If you don't want to hear me...
Do go on, Mr. Rhodes.
I'm sorry to make a disturbance,
but...
Senator, I'm a professional.
I look at the image on that screen
same as at a performer on my show.
And I have to say...
you'll never get over
to my audience...
not to the million people...
who welcome me into their
living rooms each week.
And if I wouldn't buy him,
do you realise what that means?
If I wouldn't buy him,
the people of this country...
aren't ready to buy him for that
big job on Pennsylvania Avenue.
Do you know where I found him?
I don't think he'll mind my saying,
in jail.
He's stupid, he's got no mentality,
he thinks with his feet.
But I trust those feet.
Now if he don't laugh...
if he don't think
the show's any good...
then I know there's
something wrong with it...
something people just
ain't gonna take to.
See what I mean?
Now, Beanie...
What did you think of the personality
you just saw on screen?
Well, I...
Come on, give it to us straight.
Flatter than last night’s beer.
You see your problem now?
How are you going to get this man,
this bush-monkey to vote for you?
Frankly, I don't know.
Well, maybe I do.
Do you know how to
lift your ratings...
from . to . ?
You need... Now hold on
to your hat, my friend...
You need a whole
new personality.
A new personality?
Frankly, that’s impossible.
Now, wait just a moment.
For instance, do you have a pet?
My wife and I have a Siamese cat.
Beanie?
My public love dogs.
One pitch with a hound
is worth words.
That mutt didn't do Roosevelt
any harm, did it?
Dick Nixon either.
I'm sure you're right.
How about a nickname?
Only dishonest thing about Curly
is the way he combs his hair.
Curly, that’s rather amusing.
See? You've got a sense of humour
about that fine head of skin.
No hard feelings now,
we're talking television.
Don't press your lips together,
it gives you a kind of sissy look.
Keep your mouth relaxed
so you can say...
Once in a while.
It sounds crazy to you.
No, I realise it’s a new technique
I've got to face. That’s why I came.
That’s a boy, Curly.
You just put yourself in my hands.
I'll have them loving him.
I mean loving him.
You know, that’s just what he did
for Vitajex.
He ought to be in the cabinet.
I'll be going to bed now, sir.
Night, Sidney. Lonesome,
I don't know anyone in the country...
who coulïve won the Senator
the way you did. It was...
Shut up, I'm thinking.
Listen to me,
as your adopted father...
you've only one flaw,
the way you've begun...
to suddenly shoot out of control.
Like this evening,
almost walking out on the Senator.
And you're beginning
to antagonise the press, you're...
Cracker Barrel.
Lonesome Rhodes' Cracker Barrel.
What’s that?
My new show,
set it up right away.
Give me a bunch of
colourful country characters...
all sitting around...
listening to Lonesome Rhodes
sound off about everything...
from the price of popcorn
to the hydrogen bomb.
You don't like it?
Well, just forget it.
All I've got to do is pick up
the phone...
I can get Tim Andrews of National
Motors to back it in a minute.
I'm not just an entertainer...
I'm an influence,
a wielder of opinion...
a force.
A force.
Now, Shelton cigarettes,
and Best Friend Dogfood...
bring you the voice
of grass root wisdom.
Lonesome Rhodes
on the Cracker Barrel.
You know boys what really
bugs me about our Limey cousins...
is the way they keep trying
to act like a first class outfit...
when their store is having to close
its branches all over the world.
That’s right, Lonesome.
That’s telling them.
He's getting crueler
every minute.
That’s the Lorïs truth.
Well, look who's stopping by
to chew the fat with us...
around old Cracker Barrel,
Senator Worthington Fuller.
Hey, howdy Curly
how's my old bunk mate?
It’s a real pleasure and surprise.
Come and meet the boys.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Sit down, put your feet up
on that.
Hello, Mr. Miller,
long time no see. The usual?
And just let the vermouth
blow a kiss at the gin.
In just a while I'll be tossing
some questions at old Curly Fuller.
I should say
Senator Worthington Fuller.
Are you waiting for someone?
I'm just having a quiet drink.
I don't remember you
doing that before.
I talk to a thousand people a day,
this is a chance to unwind.
We didn't know that swallowing
too much raw politics...
can put a crease in your head
a whole lot deeper...
than that home-made joy juice
we used to concoct back in Arkansas.
I wish you'd give me
the real cotton-picking truth...
about how you feel on the subject
of more and more...
and more social security.
I'm glad you asked me that,
Lonesome.
I'd say that people today...
are obsessed.
I mean, real drawn
for security.
They want protection, coddling
from the cradle to the grave.
I say that weakens
the moral fibre.
Boone wasn't looking for unemployment
insurance and old age pension.
All he needed was his axe
and his gun...
and a chance to hue a living out
of the forest, with his own hands.
Real wizzy, ain't it?
That’s the spirit that built
this country.
Joe, would you turn
the sound down, please?
I'll say one thing, he's got
the courage of his ignorance.
How's our old station in Memphis?
I didn't go near it,
I've been writing a book...
about...
I call it
"Demagogue in Denim".
Never had such a good time
in my life.
You look wonderful.
All those months he was calling me
Vanderbilt and Frontal Lobe.
I shoulïve been
punching him in the nose.
Now, I've got a book
to punch him in the nose.
Is it going to be published?
Came up to sign the contracts.
The publishers like it. They think
it’s time to pull the mask off him.
Let the public see what a fraud
he really is.
I wouldn't say that.
What would you say?
It’s just harder for him
to be as simple as he was...
with all those generals and senators
and politicians hanging around.
You're still with him?
I tone down some
of the crazier notions...
he wants to spout on the air.
I'm the only person
he can talk to anymore.
Lots of people have been fired...
There's an awful lot
of money at stake.
The agency we started with
the International Drug account...
is grossing over
a hundred million a year.
How's Mamma Guitar selling?
I found him.
He's mine for better or worse.
I'm doing my small bit
to make him better.
Marcia, you're the locker room
where he eases up after the fight...
win or lose.
You're the shock absorber for
collisions with ex-wives...
models, new wives
and assorted tramps.
You're the little wheel without which
the express called Lonesome Rhodes...
plunges off the track
and leaps to destruction.
I can hardly wait
to read that book.
Don't worry, I've spared you
more than you've spared yourself.
I know.
I know
I'll call you again sometime...
when I think you're ready.
Hey, Betty Lou,
take a look at this poll.
I got it up from º/º of voters
to º/º.
. That’s a lucky number.
He's going to get in.
Hey, Sweet Potato...
Iook who's home,
you're big papa man.
You're not going to hit me.
Don't play the noble defender
of the sanctity of marriage.
I know where you were those nights
when Betty was waiting up for you.
If you hit me,
it’ll be all over the papers.
As much as the people love you...
You're fired, you're through.
I've got news that’ll move you
and shake you.
I'm president of
Lonesome Rhodes Enterprises.
I own º/º of the voting stock.
You're in bed with me, Larry,
in bed.
Get me Beanie.
I think I'll just freshen my soda.
Beanie, get Mrs. Rhodes a seat
on the next train to Little Rock.
You don't own º/º.
You're fired.
Fired?
Lonesome...
Lonesome, nothing happened,
really.
This programme is brought to you
by Shelton Cigarettes.
I'll treat you like any performer
on my show that flops.
I've got a contract with you.
You'll get your money every week
as long as you stay in Arkansas.
But I don't want to go home.
Ed Sullivan wants me to do my batons
act on his show Sunday night.
You can do your
baton twirling dance...
in the ladies' room
at the Little Rock depot.
Marcia, can you hear me?
Get up, wake up!
It’s me, big me, the king.
Come on, Marcia, open up.
I said hurry up on this door,
Marcia.
Lonesome's back.
Just got rid of Betty Lou.
Sweet talking little floozy,
she'd have ruined me.
Fix me a drink.
What are you doing?
We'll have to be more careful
than we used to be.
I'll have to stay married
till I get my new appointment.
Your what?
This is still top secret.
The General's been talking
to Fuller.
He's selling him the idea
of creating an academy post for me.
"In time of imminent crisis
and danger".
That’s the way the General puts it.
Who can rabble people better than me?
Hold them in line,
right behind the government.
If we put Fuller across the way,
and we will, he's gonna owe me that.
Secretary for National Morale.
How's that sound to you?
Secretary for National Morale.
General's asking him to shake
on it after my banquet tomorrow...
launching Fighters for Fuller.
Fighters for Fuller?
Yeah, how do you like that name?
I made it up.
Everybody's nuts about it!
The biggest men in the country
are coming to my banquet...
to get things rolling.
I've got an admiral,
two governors...
some investment house boys
and a cabinet minister.
Which one?
I don't know.
I told the general to pick one.
They're coming to your party?
Honey, if I ask them,
they've got to come.
They'd be afraid not to come.
I could murder them,
like guests.
I'm afraid it’s true.
What’s true?
Right here, tonight,
you might have that much power.
Seen the ratings?
. ...
just picked up another million.
This old country's just like
my flock of sheep.
Sheep.
Rednecks, crackers,
hillbillies...
houseprouds, shut-ins,
pea-pickers...
everybody that’s got to jump
when someone else blows the whistle.
They don't know it yet...
but they're all gonna be
Fighters for Fuller.
They're mine, I own them,
they think like I do.
Or they're more stupid than I am,
so I've got to think for them.
Marcia, you just wait and see...
I'll be the power behind
the president...
and you'll be the power behind me.
You made me, Marcia,
you made me.
I always say that.
I owe it all to you.
I owe it all to you.
All to you.
I know it.
I know it.
Turn the light out.
I'm tired.
Big day tomorrow...
a really big day.
A really big day.
Come on, come on,
I've got to get some sleep.
Marcia!
Where are you going?
All I can say is tonight’s show
is going to be a mess.
Now you tell me the show's
in a mess, now.
- Marcia never showed up all day.
- I've looked every place...
She's the only one
who can co-ordinate.
Co-ordinate, hell! Do you mean
to tell me the success of my show...
depends on one self-important,
neurotic, temperamental female?
I'm fed up with the whole lot
of you incompetents.
Nincompoops!
Bootlickers!
Would you like some coffee,
Mr. Rhodes?
Is that your subtle way of trying
to tell me I'm swacked?
Well, I'm not drunk,
just disgusted.
I'll handle it.
Of course, Mr. Rhodes.
I'll ad lib.
Just keep up with me.
I've saved the show before.
Well, I just wonder what they do
with their afternoons...
- One more day like this, and I quit.
- Here she comes.
Marcia, where've you been? We've
been trying to find you all day.
You know how important it is.
We still haven't got
our commercials routine.
I know that’s kind of going out
of style, like the corset...
but every once in a while,
I ask myself, Lonesome...
where's that unmodern,
uncomplicated, unliberated...
but oh-so-happy
one-man woman gone?
Ain't no use getting het up
about something we can't change.
I was duck-shooting
over the weekend...
I brought my movie camera along
to show you folks what it was like.
Roll the film.
Hit it.
Hey you, in the projection room,
show us the movie!
Mr. Rhodes, they can't hear you.
About time.
I want to talk to you.
I can't tonight, I have to
rush to the banquet...
but first thing in the morning.
In my office, in the morning.
seconds, Mr. Rhodes.
You can take this,
I've quit today.
Even after the senator bagged
his limit, he hated to leave.
He says to me, "Lonesome..."
Keep the door clear. I'm surrounded
by a lot of dumb sons of nitwits.
Hey, you redneck scoundrels
still here?
Why aren't you out working
someplace?
Ain't that Curly Fuller
a duck-shooting fool?
You know when we were
standing shoulder to shoulder...
in that cold water,
belly button high...
and the sun was smiling on us...
Curly looked at me,
and he says, "Lonesome...
a family that prays together,
stays together."
That’s what he said.
I tell you that man
is an inspiration...
a man among men.
The Cracker Barrel, starring that
irrepressible Arkansas traveller...
You're off.
I'm glad that’s over.
I'm gonna start shooting people
instead of ducks.
For relaxation and for health...
the cigarette that cleans
your tobacco without a filter...
and by Best Friend Dogfood...
your dog's best friend.
And by Vitajex, that old "Vitajex
what you doing to me" pill.
Hurry back you all, remember
what old Lonesome said...
A family that prays together
stays together.
All right, super one,
and start the crawl.
This has been an FBN production...
Fuller, the great hunter.
He's shaking like this.
If they ever heard the way
that psycho really thinks...
Scenic design, James Fitzsimmons.
Costumes by Robert Hose.
Unit manager, George K George.
Sell that stuff about
a man among men...
to those morons out there?
Shucks, I sell them chicken
fertiliser as caviar.
I can make them eat dog food
and think it’s steak.
Sure, I've got them like this.
You know what the public's like,
a cage full of guinea pigs.
Good night, you stupid idiots.
Good night, you miserable slobs.
They're a lot of trained seals...
I toss them a dead fish
and they'll flap their flippers.
Let them listen, please!
Marcia.
Why, he's a monster!
I'm going to call the station and
give them a piece of my mind.
We'll fix you, jerk.
I knew he'd open his big yack
once too often and blow my Gs.
I cant’ believe it’s the same
Lonesome Rhodes.
It is, only this time his personality
finally came through.
Give me a drink.
Got to hurry boys,
it’s a big important day.
Come in strong tomorrow,
I'll be loaded for bear.
Held the elevator for you,
the Lonesome Rhodes express...
going down!
All the way down.
Yes, sir.
Central Broadcasting Network.
That line is busy.
Tell him I'll never listen
to his filthy programme again.
We're slobs are we?
Well tell Lonesome from me...
I said, are we paying you network
a $ an hour...
to build up our business,
or destroy it?
Just a minute, General.
Get De Palma on the phone.
Remember it was your company
brought Lonesome to FBN.
Keep this scandal from
rubbing off on Vitajex.
Disassociate ourselves.
Lonesome Rhodes?
That line is busy.
What did he say?
It must have been a whopper.
Come up with a good replacement.
Thanks for not stopping
to pick up the peasants.
How's your ratings?
Sorry, Mr. Rhodes has left
and there's no one in the studio.
De Palma, you know your contract,
the morals clause.
Any act abusing public confidence.
I've just the boy to fill the gap.
Barry Mills.
He's a young Lonesome
and a lot easier to handle.
Buddy, I'm just a country boy.
Don't spare the horses, I've only
minutes to get into my dinner suit.
"L. R's blooper tops Unk Don's"
I could never see what people saw
in him, but he's had it.
The sinking of the Titanic,
what happened?
Marcia, she went crazy.
She's in the booth.
I hear you just wrote
the ending to my book.
Yeah?
Just a minute,
I'll see if she's here.
It’s him.
Marcia.
Oh, Marcia, I need you.
Come over right away.
Nobody's come,
everybody cancelled.
They didn't even send me
a wire.
The General sent me a wire.
The Secretary of the Interior sent
me a wire, "Regret to inform you...
unavoidably detained,
unable to attend."
All of a sudden,
everybody's too busy.
All of a sudden, I'm poison.
Are you laughing at me?
Are you laughing at me?
You think I'm washed up, don't you?
The same way I lost them,
I'll get them back again.
I'm going to make them love me.
You're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me.
You're gonna love me,
you're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me,
you're gonna love me...
What’s your name?
Francis, Francis,
you're gonna love me.
Francis, you're gonna
love me, love me, love me.
Get out! Get out!
Get out, you black monkeys!
You turn my stomach.
Get out!
Sounds like he's finally
gone through the roof.
Marcia, how soon can you get here?
I'm surrounded by traitors.
That engineer...
wait till I get him, I'll fire him.
I'll burn him over a slow fire.
Marcia...
If you don't come right away,
I'll jump!
I'll jump!
Jump! Jump!
Get out of my life!
Get out of everybody's life.
Jump.
Jump.
Jump.
I don't believe you.
Now, you'll be a...
Oh, Mel...
Why didn't you tell him
it was you?
It’s true.
You'll just make it harder.
You should tell him face to face
before he blames other guys.
Face to face,
then maybe I'll believe you.
Is it ever as simple as that?
You've got to force complicated
things into simple channels.
Either you go and tell him
you did it and chop it off clean...
so he never comes
crying to you again...
or you hold his hand...
wipe his poor perspiring brow,
fan his smouldering dampened ego...
so he can burst into flames
and burn again.
Secretary for National Morale...
is a job that I was born for!
Somebody send for a doctor,
he's been like that for minutes.
In a time of crisis...
who else could rabble the people
like Lonesome Rhodes?
Who else could move the people
to action like Lonesome Rhodes?
You are looking...
at America's answer...
to the crying need for national...
- What are you doing that for?
- He likes lots of applause.
Maybe I'm just a country boy...
but if the President
tries to stop me...
I'll flood the White House
with millions of telegrams!
I made him
and I can break him!
Yeah!
Yeah, you know I can.
Because the people listen
to Lonesome Rhodes.
Because the people
love Lonesome Rhodes.
Lonesome Rhodes is the people.
The people is Lonesome Rhodes.
Beanie!
More, yeah, yeah!
No! No!
Ten thousand miles away
from home...
and I don't even know my name.
Marcia...
Oh, Marcia.
Marcia...
I knew you'd come.
I knew you'd come.
Marcia, I lost them...
but all I've got to do
is talk to them one more time.
I'll say I said that just to see
how many were really listening.
Sure, I'll have them eating out of
my hands again, just like old times.
Larry, it was me.
I'm back on top again.
First thing I'll do
when I'm back on top...
I'll get that sound man...
I'll get that dirty, stinking
little mechanical genius...
It was me.
It was.
It was me.
I held you open...
on purpose.
I'm telling you,
so you'll never call me again.
Never again.
OK.
My little Marshmallow.
Good luck with Mel.
Run along.
I'm sorry, forgive me.
Go on.
Go.
Listen, I'm not through yet.
You know what’s going
to happen to me?
Suppose I tell you exactly
what’s going to happen to you?
You'll be back on television...
only it won't be quite the same
as it was before.
After a cooling-off period,
someone will say...
"Why don't we try him again
in an inexpensive format?
People's memories aren't too long."
And in a way, he'd be right.
Some people will forget,
some won't.
You'll have a show.
Maybe not the best hour, or top ten.
Maybe not even in the top .
You'll have a show, it just won't
be quite the same as it was before.
Then a couple of new fellas
will come along...
and soon a lot of your fans
will be flocking around them.
Then, one day, someone will ask
"Whatever happened to...
what’s his name? You know,
the one who was so big...
the number one fella
a couple of years ago.
He was famous, how can we
forget a name like that?
By the way,
have you seen Barry Mills?
He's the greatest thing
since Will Rogers."
Beanie!
Marcia!
Don't leave me!
I don't figure him for a suicide.
Marcia!
Mel, if I'd only left him
in that jail in Pickett.
Marcia, stop it.
You were taken in
just like we all were.
We got wise to him,
that’s our strength.
Come back Marcia!
Marcia!
Come back!
Don't leave me!
Don't leave me!
Don't leave me!
Marcia!
Don't leave me!
Come back!
Come back!
Come back!