The Firm Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the The Firm script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the 1988 Gary Oldman and Lesley Manville movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of The Firm. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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The Firm Script


  

  

 

                   

Well its 1935 or there abouts



 

                   

It was bombed during the war, and

patched up with plasticine and blu-tack



 

                   

The interior guttering is a unique feature,

which is eh...caused by the raging damp



 

                   

But Latimer and Haines are supplying

windscreen wipers for your television set



 

                   

You've got Otter traps in the cellar, and a

free aqualung course at the local 'tec college



 

                   

Well I'm not saying its damp of course. But if the water levels rise

anymore you could find yourself selling a house boat in a couple of years



 

                   

Are you trying to tell us there

is a problem with the damp?



 

                   

No what I'm really trying to say sir is

that this is the best house i have ever sold



 

                   

I mean I dont need to do a hard sell

from this,  look at it, its terrific



  

                   

I`ll tell you what I`ll do



  

                   

I`ll let you in and you can have a look round on your

own and what? I`ll come back in about fifteen minutes, Ok?



  

                   

I tell you, if this house don't

sell itself, I'm a monkeys uncle



  

                   

*When the moon hits your eye like

a big-a pizza pie, thats amore*



  

                   

*When the world seems to shine like

you've had too much wine, that's amore*



  

                   

*Bells'll ring ting-a-ling-a-ling,

ting-a-ling-a-ling and you'll sing "Vita bella"*



  

                   

*Hearts'll play tippi-tippi-tay,

tippi-tippi-tay, like a gay tarantella*



  

                   

*When the stars make you drool just-a

like pasta fazool, that's amore*



  

                   

*When you dance down the street with

a cloud at your feet, you're in love*



  

                   

*When you walk in a dream but you

know you're not dreamin', signore*



  

                   

*'scusa me, but you see, back

in old Napoli, that's amore*



  

                   

*Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-lingting-a-ling-a-ling

And you'll sing "Vita bella"*



  

                   

*Hearts will play tippi-tippi-tay,

tippi-tippi-tay, like a gay tarantella*



  

                   

*When the stars make you drool just

like pasta fazool, that's amore*



  

                   

*When you dance down the street with

a cloud at your feet, you're in love*



  

                   

*When you walk in a dream but you

know you're not dreaming, signore*



  

                   

*'scusa me, but you see, back

in old Napoli, that's amore*



  

                   

Go on, go on my son, go on, go for it



  

                   

Yeah, hit the bugger. Fuck you.



  

                   

Wankers



  

                   

Wankers



  

                   

Tossers



  

                   

I.C.C.   I.C.C.   I.C.C.



  

                   

I.C.C.   I.C.C.   I.C.C.



  

                   

I.C.C.   I.C.C.



  

                   

Transgressed the unwritten law this has



  

                   

Can you do anything

with those scratches?



  

                   

Sorry boss



  

                   

Ta



  

                   

It's not on, this, y'know Bex



  

                   

It's all in hand Nunk



  

                   

Ta-ra



  

                   

See ya later



  

                   

That is well out of order



  

                   

You don't let people treat you like shit, I learned that in the army You sort

it out there and then otherwise they'll shit on you every other minute of the day



  

                   

Well you tell him then



  

                   

Don't you worry, I'll sort Bexy out



  

                   

Very funny son, very funny



  

                   

Alright hold it, hold

it down, hold it down



  

                   

What you having girls? Heart

attack if you're paying shorty



  

                   

Got him Shut up, now do you want to try the

tactful approach or are you tired of living?



  

                   

Well I'll have a pint of

Drambuie if you're flush Aitch



  

                   

Flush? Me? Look at me wodge, I

got loads of money, loads of money



  

                   

Give us some of that money mate



  

                   

Oi, did you find anything interesting when

you were crawling up around Bexys anal passage?



  

                   

Nah, only your rasta cat man



  

                   

Bluud klatt, me wonder where

me leave that thing y'know



  

                   

Where's me boy, oi Nocka, Nocka come on



  

                   

Alright, what you having?



  

                   

Vodka and Tonic



  

                   

What you want Snowy?



  

                   

Hey, I`ll have a Babychamp



  

                   

Right, thats three Lager Tops



  

                   

What do you want JC? -Lager



  

                   

Trig? Snakebite Aitch



  

                   

and a Snakebite for Rambo



  

                   

Hey hold up look



  

                   

I had to bring me girlfriend



  

                   

Come on girls, give us a flash



  

                   

Come on boys get a load of this



  

                   

We are cheeky girls



  

                   

Get your tits out, get your tits

out, get your tits out for the boys



  

                   

Get your tits out for the boys



  

                   

Oi



  

                   

You wanna T-Cut that



  

                   

Dont be bleeding stupid



  

                   

Nah, rub it down first should be alright



  

                   

I dont believe you sometimes,

it needs a new skin that does



  

                   

Oh, like spending money do you son?



  

                   

Yeah well when you've got it Dad



  

                   

Yeah well I hope you gave him a

bloody good kicking thats all I can say



  

                   

Nah I'm just going to forget it



  

                   

If I was you I would go round his gaff and pour break

fluid all over his paint work, see how that goes down



  

                   

Dad I know what I'm doing, I've

got me reasons, alright, shut up



  

                   

Darling



  

                   

Beloved



  

                   

When one has finished making love to

the car, does one wish to carve or not



  

                   

Well one would but ones got

turps all over ones hands



  

                   

Super



  

                   

Cheer up Dad



  

                   

You alright Yes he is



  

                   

Hello babes



  

                   

Hello darling



  

                   

Why don't we let them take

Sammy down the park for a bit



  

                   

What, let my mum stuff

him full of sweets



  

                   

Well that's what Grandparents

are supposed to do, isn't it



  

                   

Yeah one or two



  

                   

but the rate the old girl stuffs them down his neck, I'm

surprised shes got time to take them out the bleeding packet



  

                   

Oh well it was just an idea



  

                   

I thought I might let

you stick your willy up me



   

                   

That's a nice idea, isn't it



   

                   

Have you got any drawers on



   

                   

Oh blimey, suspenders



   

                   

Hello Bill, you seen the motor



   

                   

Bexy



   

                   

Oh Trig you bastard, this aint

the bleeding boozer you know



   

                   

You got your Inlaws playing in the garden, I didn't

expect to find you having it off in the living room, did I



   

                   

We were not having it off



   

                   

What you want anyway



   

                   

We gotta do him Bexy, tonight



   

                   

You can't let people treat you like shit



   

                   

Alright Trig mate, calm down



   

                   

Well look at it



   

                   

I've been looking at

it, I've seen it mate



   

                   

That is well out of order



   

                   

Trigger, Trigger, look

at me son, look at me



   

                   

Do I look concerned



   

                   

No you don't, you should



   

                   

Its all in hand mate



   

                   

now cool out guy y'know



   

                   

heart attack time



   

                   

Well ta-ta then



   

                   

A cup of tea would of been nice



   

                   

Give my love to your mum



   

                   

Have you brought his nappy with you



   

                   

Nah we can't get them, the

Buccaneers must of used them all up



   

                   

Piss off



   

                   

Shut up, shut your mouth



   

                   

Listen, we aint been in Europe for three years, right In two weeks

time there's going to be half of Europe waiting in Germany for us



   

                   

So



   

                   

Oh no reason Oboe you leery prat



   

                   

Is, Is there anyone in



   

                   

Look I know they don't cover It in the

Beano, so I'll tell you what's been happening



   

                   

I've seen it



   

                   

There's over      Dutch booked

in for Germany for a start



   

                   

 .    Oboe you micro moron



   

                   

This is not a bunch of tulip growers on

a day trip to the Munich beer festival



   

                   

These geezers are coming tooled up, and    car workers from

Birmingham with their brains in their right hand aint gonna do nothing



   

                   

If we sell them a British car the poor

bastards will be stranded there for life



   

                   

Listen, listen



   

                   

If we don't stick together they're going to have us

on our toes before we even get off the Harwich Ferry



   

                   

Sounds like your'e running

scared already Bexy boy



   

                   

That's funny



   

                   

Dumb animals aren't

supposed to speak, are they



   

                   

Animal I might be, dumb I ain't



   

                   

Did you win this morning



   

                   

I always win Yeti, you

should know that by now



   

                   

Thats funny, it didn't

look like it to me



   

                   

It looked like we walked into your back yard and

tinted your windscreen and nobody lifted a finger



   

                   

What are you two slags going on about



   

                   

Our friend from the Bucaneers here thinks that driving a

car across a football pitch at    mph means he's had a result



   

                   

Shows imagination though, don't it



   

                   

Yeah well I suppose it would to you Yeti



   

                   

I mean when you've got the intellectual capacity of a lump

of jelly I should think anything shows imagination, don't you



   

                   

Are you two slags going to bitch all

night, 'cause we got a train to catch, ok



   

                   

Now are you going to tell us about

this mega plan of yours or what



   

                   

It's simple Oboe, even you and

Snow White might get the drift



   

                   

If we don't stick together they're

going to trample all over us



   

                   

Told you, he's running scared



   

                   

Am I wasting my time here or what



   

                   

Look, I'm recruiting for a national

firm, do you want in or what



   

                   

and don't tell me,

you want to be top girl



   

                   

There you are Oboe, I told you it was simple enough

for you to grasp, who's a clever little girl then



   

                   

Oh you make me sick you cockneys, always

think you've got the right to run things



   

                   

Nah nah nah, you couldn't

run a piss up in a brewery



   

                   

You're a joke, I'm off



   

                   

Oh what's a matter love,

getting too late for you is it



   

                   

Here Nunk, ring room service and get Oboe

his warm milk, it's well past his bedtime



   

                   

I aint following a

bunch of thumb suckers



   

                   

You want to run a national firm friend

you put your arse in gear behind us, right



   

                   

Oh what with your track record

you'd need an A to Z to find a bog



   

                   

Well at least I wont be on

it all night shitting meself



   

                   

Listen this is a fact right, past   seasons

right, we have rumbled everyone in here



   

                   

Bollocks , bollocks



   

                   

Have a look at this Cliffy,

we got pigs flying over here



   

                   

Hold up, alright, look,

ten of you, ten of us



   

                   

You take us out with just the top boys about

an then you can take us on tour sunshine



   

                   

Ditto



   

                   

Dildo mate, the word is

dildo, you are a pair of dildos



   

                   

Listen friend, if we want to go tulip

picking we'll go with me as top boy



   

                   

and if you want to stop us, then

you'll have to come and rumble us



   

                   

Alright



   

                   

Alright



   

                   

and when you two shirt

lifters are finished



   

                   

Well it can come down to us



   

                   

I'll leave you with the I.C.C. motto



   

                   

We come in peace, we leave you in pieces



   

                   

Bollocks



   

                   

Do you want your spanking now



   

                   

You, Oboe



   

                   

Tuesday



   

                   

You



   

                   

Blondie



   

                   

Saturday



   

                   

Look over your shoulders girls



   

                   

Pieces, pieces, pieces



   

                   

I.C.C.   I.C.C.   I.C.C.



   

                   

Oh ta-ra mate, here,

say hello to Gus for me



   

                   

He owes me a fiver



   

                   

Is that you Clive



   

                   

Well I hope so, otherwise

your'e being burgled



   

                   

Do you want a cup of tea love



   

                   

Yeah lovely



   

                   

Is there any hot water Mum



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

Clive, Sue rang earlier, she wants

to know what time you'll be home



   

                   

Eh about half eight



   

                   

Alright then



   

                   

Yeti



   

                   

Oboe



   

                   

You on for tommorrow night then?



   

                   

Oh its a bit short notice isn't it



   

                   

You'd of found out last

night if you'd of turned up



   

                   

Well I'm very sorry Mr Bissell



   

                   

But if it comes to a choice between having a drink with a load of

hooligans and getting my end away, you come a very poor second chief



   

                   

Which reminds me, don't forget I

was supposed to be with you, right



   

                   

Oh yeah, how did you get on



   

                   

Well when I got her out

the Light I changed my mind



   

                   

Ho ho, thats an original way of

saying you didn't get anywhere



   

                   

She was a dog



   

                   

I'm telling you Bex every woman has the right to

be ugly, but this one just abused the priviledge



   

                   

Yeah well never mind my son



   

                   

Listen I just might accidentally let my tongue

slip if you don't get up a posse for tommorrow night



   

                   

Yeah alright, I'm in, I'm in



   

                   

Look I'll take the new motor, right



   

                   

Yeah  .   there



   

                   

What



   

                   

Well its an element of surprise isn't it



   

                   

Ah its alright for you isn't it



   

                   

You can just pretend you're selling an Arab a

garage for fifty grand, I get missed if i do a bunk



   

                   

Whats a matter with you



   

                   

Latimer, twelve o'clock, Hythe



   

                   

Yeah bollocks, trouble Simon, I gotta

go, see ya there,  .   on the dot



   

                   

We must distinguish I think between the bovver boy,

yobbo type hooligans, so representative of the     s



   

                   

and todays more sophisticated,

more disciplined hooligans



   

                   

Most of them have jobs, infact

some of them have quite skilled jobs



   

                   

and quite a comfortable lifestyle



   

                   

Basically I see it as a

kind of search for meaning



   

                   

An attempt to validate their

lives, give it significance



   

                   

Why don't he just tell

them we like hitting people



   

                   

wank wank wank he's a tosser



   

                   

Oi, you'll wake the baby up



   

                   

Sorry Sue, it was Nunky



   

                   

No it was all of us



   

                   

Can you turn that down a bit please



   

                   

Yeah its finished anyway, a load of crap



   

                   

What's happening tommorrow then?



   

                   

Well you can get yourself over to Simes

for about midday, you can go in the car



   

                   

Oh why can't I come on the train Bex



   

                   

Because, you are an under   and you're

not allowed to play on the chuff-chuff



   

                   

and anyway, you always turn up with no money and

muggins here ends up paying for you, that's why



   

                   

So, you've got to pay for the best boss



   

                   

Besides, you make the first

class carriages look a mess son



   

                   

How can a man who wears rejects

from an oxfam shop have a go at him



   

                   

Leave it Trigger



   

                   

Ok, you can come with us, but no jeans, bring

your sweets and don't forget your pocket money



   

                   

Yo!



   

                   

Is she coming?



   

                   

Yeah, sure thing boss



   

                   

No come on Bexy, no Passengers eh



   

                   

We're taking you aren't we



   

                   

Piss off



   

                   

Stunned to the core

with another witty reply



   

                   

You can piss off in all Nunk



   

                   

Two in a row, how

d'you think them up Trig



   

                   

Oi give it a rest will you,

you'll only wake the kid



   

                   

He'll have it on his

toes Bexy, I'm telling you



   

                   

So you want to go to

Europe do you Dominic?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

Yeah, if I can raise the cash



   

                   

Oh isn't that sweet



   

                   

You'll have to get bloodied first



   

                   

You ever been tatooed?



   

                   

No



   

                   

Virgin eh?



   

                   

What you looking at?



   

                   

I can see you



   

                   

It's alright



   

                   

We gotta give him the

mark, haven't we son



   

                   

Dominic, I would like you to meet,

a very old freind of mine and yours



   

                   

Put your hands together for



   

                   

Stanley



   

                   

Nah, you aint gonna do

it with that are you?



   

                   

Well now, we all had to son



   

                   

Bet you're glad you brought your

brown trousers, int you Dominic



   

                   

Jesus



   

                   

He won't help ya



   

                   

Come one, come on up you get



   

                   

Get a hold of that



   

                   

Well go on then



   

                   

Its poisonous that is



   

                   

If that gets into your bloodstream

you could be dead in the morning



   

                   

Yeah, you lot are

still walking aren't you



   

                   

You plonker



   

                   

What a wally



   

                   

What a muppet



   

                   

You little plonker



   

                   

Will you shut up



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

and the Duchess of York outshone them all, with an

outfit that was easier to admire than to describe



   

                   

and even to seasoned Royal watchers

this was a special occassion



   

                   

it was the hottest ticket

in tinsel town.......



   

                   

Alright?



   

                   

Oh there's nothing wrong with us



   

                   

Is something wrong with him?



   

                   

Yeah he's still teething isn't he



   

                   

Oh, are you still

teething little darling?



   

                   

That'll be teeth thats

biting on Mummys nipple eggs



   

                   

Well ive got to have a reserve haven't

I ? I mean you're never here to do it



   

                   

Oh dear, Mummy's being sarcastic again, shall we

be witty back? Eh shall we tell her to piss off?



   

                   

Bex, don't



   

                   

Shall we tell her piss off?



   

                   

Lets tell Mumsy to

piss off, go on Piss off



   

                   

Oh Bex, see, oh don't,

he's starting to say it now



   

                   

Anyway I'm glad your pissing off tonight, at

least I'll get a bit of peice and quiet that way



   

                   

What was all the cold

shoulder bit for then? Piss off



   

                   

Don't, don't tell him what Daddy does



   

                   

and it ain't good for you to get

you in my hair all the time, is it



   

                   

It wouldn't have to

be a bleeding miracle



   

                   

You must think I'm stupid or something



   

                   

Well if you want the truth

or the diplomatic answer



   

                   

You ain't playing tonight



   

                   

I never said I was, thats my cheek

yeah, I'm screwing Jacinta again



   

                   

Well I told you



   

                   

She can't get enough of me,    inch willy, working class,

some little yuppies dream come true, eh isn't it darling



   

                   

Well it's a shame I aint

a yuppie then isn't it



   

                   

You're my bit of rough change, aint you



   

                   

Don't stay out all night will you Nah

it's just a quick in an out job this



   

                   

Oh well whoever she is tell

her she's got my sympathys



   

                   

Oh very funny, Your Mums funny, your Mums

funny sunny "innit", give Mum a kiss, goodbye



   

                   

Give us a kiss, Daddy loves

you, Daddy loves you doesn't he



   

                   

Say Daddy, say Daddy, Daddy



   

                   

Right I'll see ya Don't be late



   

                   

Look look look look, yeah

cunt, yeah look at his face



   

                   

You forgot to kiss her

goodbye Beef Shut up



   

                   

Here what's all this, what's all what, this, Beefys Mum's a

slapper, Beefys Mum's a slapper,  Beefys Mum's a slapper, lalalala



   

                   

Belt up and shut up



   

                   

Hornchurch boys we are here, we rape your women and we drink your

beer, la la la la lalalalala Hornchurch boys are big and strong



   

                   

Alright mate



   

                   

Yeah can I have   adults and  

child to Birmingham Yew Street please



   

                   

That's first class



   

                   

That's     pounds and    pence

please Sir That'll do nicely thank you



   

                   

Oh hang about, here's Adolph



   

                   

Triggsy boy



   

                   

Yo Alright



   

                   

I'm off to get a paper, see ya later



   

                   

I see you brought your

boyfreind then Aitchey poo, eh



   

                   

Well I dont like to leave him at home, he pines for

me and scratches the door, know what I mean Triggsy



   

                   

He's gonna piss off as soon as the

ruck starts, y'know that don't ya



   

                   

Look Triggsy, if it's good enough

for you it's good enough for him



   

                   

You little bastard, I'll

have you, I'll have you



   

                   

Yusef, over here, oi Yusey boy, come

on then, come on mate get over here



   

                   

Come on son, come on boy, come on mate, get down here, over here,

what's he got on his head, cor blimey, gogogo, oh what a hero



   

                   

Where've you been Well I had to go to school

"innit",  well I didn't want to get into trouble did I



   

                   

You got your homework with you son



   

                   

What's this



   

                   

Celtic...What have we got

to do with Scotland son



   

                   

It's P.M.T.



   

                   

Well what's that Pre match tension



   

                   

A cup of tea Got to make

this one a quickie lads



   

                   

It's funny you should

say that, yeah go on Beef



   

                   

It's love



   

                   

Wankers



   

                   

Buccaneers



   

                   

My car



   

                   

Here it's just up here, We there yet Bex



   

                   

Yeah we're bang on for Simon

alright Where's Simon then mate



   

                   

How many was there then mate

There was  ............. 



   

                   

Come on Simon, where are you mate



   

                   

Oboe



   

                   

Go



   

                   

It needs stitches does this Bex



   

                   

Nice of Simon to turn up, wasn't it, eh



   

                   

He must of got held up



   

                   

In the traffic I'll hold

him up when I see him



   

                   

Maybe he got a puncture



   

                   

or something



   

                   

You want to get that

sorted out Yusef, now



   

                   

Come on Dom



   

                   

Come on Dom or we'll all get nicked



   

                   

Come on your own did you



   

                   

You didn't by any chance come

on a train from London did you



   

                   

Ah hitchhiked yeah



   

                   

One nil to me



   

                   

and your name is



   

                   

Micheal Jackson



   

                   

You need some more

plastic surgery Micheal



   

                   

Oboe



   

                   

Bexy, Bexy



   

                   

Grab his arm



   

                   

An the other one Give us it



   

                   

Come on lets go, go



   

                   

Yeah cheers mate



   

                   

Hello, yeah can I speak to

the poof with the blonde hair



   

                   

Bexy boy



   

                   

So what's this then, you got a partime

job as an alarm call or something



   

                   

Yeah, yeah you could say that



   

                   

You still got your curlers in love



   

                   

Here, you spoke to your

boy in the BMW lately



   

                   

No, not yet, why



   

                   

Nah of course he probably aint..... We had a

little meet with him, didn't we, on the motorway



   

                   

We fixed his motor for him, They don't

half burn well them German jobs, don't they



   

                   

It's getting to be a bit of

a speciality with you isn't it



   

                   

Smashing up cars Is that what

you're planning to do in Europe



   

                   

I bet there aint a BMW IN Germany that aint

parked on a kerbside shitting itself already Yeti



   

                   

Well at least you've finally clocked

on its me that's going and not you



   

                   

Listen my son, the only place you're going is the

mortuary, 'cause you aint got the bottle to have it with me



   

                   

I know you're well gutted Bexy

'cause you're giving it the cool one



   

                   

You'll be the gutted one on Saturday,

I'm gonna fillet you, you got that



   

                   

You want to look over your shoulder boy



   

                   

'cause I am going to engrave

my name all over your arse boss



   

                   

I didn't think you knew how to get down here,

aint had the bottle to come before have you



   

                   

Do you want directions No I`ll just stick

my head out the window and follow my nose



   

                   

I'll see you Saturday



   

                   

Shit, come here, give it

to Daddy, give it to Daddy



   

                   

Sue Sue Sue



   

                   

Right hospital, hospital, come on



   

                   

Oh Jesus Christ Jesus Christ



   

                   

I'm sorry babes, look I was on the phone



   

                   

You're too fucking late Bexy



   

                   

My Baby



   

                   

Will you stop



   

                   

Yeah yeah, I told you



   

                   

When



   

                   

I need the buzz



   

                   

Go and buy a bloody bee hive then



   

                   

That's almost funny



   

                   

I've got to have him



   

                   

You know that



   

                   

You saw what he did to the motor



   

                   

What's a matter with her



   

                   

I'm not exactly flavour

of the month at the moment



   

                   

Yeah well the feelings not

entirely alien to me Sime babe



   

                   

Yeah why's that



   

                   

Little Sammy, he's cut

his mouth on my stanley



   

                   

He alright



   

                   

Oh yeah fine, loves the attention



   

                   

Scared the shit out of me though



   

                   

It's a mess isn't it



   

                   

You had anyone look at it



   

                   

No not yet, I've got to do some work

on it before I get the Insurers in



   

                   

Why, what you going to do



   

                   

I don't know really, Billy reckons he can make it look like an

electrical fault and going to burn the engine out at the weekend



   

                   

What for



   

                   

Make it look like an electrical fault



   

                   

Well I can't just say the inside caught fire,

can I, not with the engine pounded to bits



   

                   

Yeah well it's vandalism isn't it



   

                   

You're covered



   

                   

Yeah probably



   

                   

I'm going to make sure

it's a complete right off



   

                   

I fancy a new one



   

                   

Well keep Saturday free,

we'll go right after Yeti



   

                   

Nah



   

                   

Come on don't get depressed,

that's what he wants isn't it



   

                   

I dont give a toss what some thumb sucker south of the

border thinks of me Bex it's getting ridiculous this is boss



   

                   

Yeah, I know, so we're going to

put him out of the frame aren't we



   

                   

Yeah well you can do it without me



   

                   

Ok



   

                   

Well I did Oboe for Yusef



   

                   

I might as well do the Yeti for you



   

                   

Don't do nothing for

me Bex, Just let it drop



   

                   

What's the rush, he'll

still be around next week



   

                   

No he won't



   

                   

Yeah alright I bottled it, so what, look if I'm going to have a ruck

with someone it's because someone wants to fight me, right, simple as that



   

                   

Oh what and the Yeti don't want to



   

                   

No not really no



   

                   

He has it on his toes all the time doesn't

he, gets his kicks smahing up property, right



   

                   

Sniper stuff that Bex, your car,my car



   

                   

I ain't interested mate, kids stuff



   

                   

Crap



   

                   

I don't know why you're so keen, one more little trip down the Bailey

and the next time you'll see that kid of yours you'll be a grandfather



   

                   

Alright Wes mate, is Yusef in



   

                   

Piss off Bissell



   

                   

Oi don't get heavy with me Wesley, I'd hate to

annihilate you in the comfort of your own home



   

                   

Oi



   

                   

Yo



   

                   

Does it hurt



   

                   

Happy



   

                   

I'm delirious Wes, what's with you



   

                   

Oh nothing man, it's really good

seeing your little brother sliced up



   

                   

Yeah, you want to see the other geezer



   

                   

I couldn't give a shit

about the other geezer



   

                   

You're getting on my nerves Wesley



   

                   

Oi



   

                   

I don't ask him to come, right,

he knows what's going down



   

                   

But you stood your ground

though didn't you son



   

                   

Yeah me and Snowy put him

out of the frame for you Ok



   

                   

Oh ethnic bonding

ritual, right on brother



   

                   

He would be smiling right now, only it

would split his cheeks open, know what I mean



   

                   

Doing the Yeti Saturday



   

                   

I'll come



   

                   

Don't be stupid, you talk to much



   

                   

Anyway, get yourself fit for Europe boss



   

                   

Piss off Bex



   

                   

Do you ever get the

feeling you're not wanted



   

                   

Take care champ



   

                   

Wes mate, how can I put this



   

                   

I can't



   

                   

You're out of your league son



   

                   

Take care Sef



   

                   

The mans an animal



   

                   

We've had enough of him What do you mean



   

                   

Well it's no buzz is it chasing someone who has it on

there toes all the time, that's fox hunting that is isn't it



   

                   

I don't know what

you'r talking about son



   

                   

Yeah well you never saw the

state of the motor did you



   

                   

Oh so the big brave Hornchurch

boys are bottling it are they



   

                   

No I never said that, it's

just pissing us off that's all



   

                   

Well that's what it looks like

from where I'm standing squire



   

                   

Bex are we still going to sort the Yeti if

Simon, Beef and that lot don't want to have him



   

                   

Well someones got to

fly the flag haven't they



   

                   

Yeah well Beef don't seem to think so



   

                   

It's all in hand Aitch



   

                   

Bit of a loser all round aren't you Beef



   

                   

Oh if you say so Nunky



   

                   

Well I'm of to the bogs, see if

I'm still man enough to have a piss



   

                   

Do you want to buy my magnifying glass



   

                   

No it's alright darling, I'll get someone

else to help me look, it'll be more funny



   

                   

Bagsy me



   

                   

What's a matter with you, someone

been screwing your wife again



   

                   

Well someone has to



   

                   

You're getting up everyones

nose tonight aren't you



   

                   

What're you talking about



   

                   

What're you doing here anyway



   

                   

Y'know if you want to bottle it Beef thats ok with me, but don't

come down here and try and take the rest of the crew with you



   

                   

Oh come on Bex I wouldn't

do that,I was just passing



   

                   

Yeah well pass off then



   

                   

Confucius say, man who bottles

out gets bottling, know what I mean



   

                   

It's just talk Bex, I'll be there



   

                   

No you won't, I'm dropping you



   

                   

Take the weekend off,

go fishing or something



   

                   

Aahh, I don't understand,

what you getting so heavy about



   

                   

You're scaring up the snipers, and

I need my trojan horse for Saturday



   

                   

I can do with out that



   

                   

and I can do without you



   

                   

I didn't know



   

                   

You're giving me the

right raving hump my son



   

                   

I make a bad enemy Beef



   

                   

Avoid me



   

                   

Oi feast your eyes

on this, this is Mandy



   

                   

Are you Clive Bissell



   

                   

Yeah why



   

                   

Right



   

                   

Bexy mate, you've pulled

there, you've had it there mate



   

                   

It's your birthday isn't it



   

                   

No, why



   

                   

Look, do you want to hear this or not



   

                   

Go on then



   

                   

Shut up Nunk What is it with you



   

                   

Oh



   

                   

Trig



   

                   

Your brains will drip like spaghetti off the end of a Bucko machete, if you're

south of the border you're well out of order and you'll die at the hands of the Yeti



   

                   

Oi wait a minute, wait a minute



   

                   

That is well out of order

right, well out of order



   

                   

Well out of order Trig, take it easy



   

                   

Come on, well what're we going to

do about it, it's well out of order



   

                   

Will I do me belly dance now



   

                   

You what



   

                   

Lets get something straight, when that

kid is in this house he's safe, right



   

                   

What're you talking about he is safe



   

                   

Oh yeah yeah, most folks leave stanley

knives lying around the house don't they



   

                   

What're you talking about



   

                   

I've had enough of your

big boys games Bex Yeah yeah



   

                   

Don't turn your back on me



   

                   

I aint turning me back I'm getting a drink aren't I, I aint exactly fucking

running away, I'm going to hear your nagging voice wherever I fucking go



   

                   

Yeah too right



   

                   

Look it is late, you're

tired, etc etc etc



   

                   

I have said I am sorry, y'know I am

sorry, I am more sorry than you know



   

                   

I've to put up with all this

emotional crap, I don't see why



   

                   

He's alright and I told

you it won't happen again



   

                   

He could of swallowed it, he could

of poked his eye out Yeah but he never



   

                   

You fucking nutter, I do not want you

to carry a blade in this house, right



   

                   

This is a normal house

with normal people



   

                   

I don't want to live with a    year

old boot boy, you're a fucking joke



   

                   

I don't see anyone laughing at me



   

                   

No no you don't no they won't laugh

at you, well not to your face anyway



   

                   

But they laugh at me darling

for putting up with you



   

                   

You don't see it, but what I want to know is what's so bad

about being normal eh, what's wrong with being bloody normal



   

                   

I told you, I need the buzz



   

                   

Well buy a bloody bee-hive then



   

                   

That's almost funny that is



   

                   

Oh look don't follow me about, it's

like showing a punter around an house



   

                   

Well stop keep walking away from me then



   

                   

Right, I want you to stop

and I mean it this time



   

                   

I told you I will When



   

                   

When you stop Stop what



   

                   

When it's my corpse on the floor



   

                   

You're a fucking

animal, do you know that



   

                   

Who me Yeah pathetic



   

                   

Well I told you I have

just got to have him



   

                   

Right if you want to carry on like a kid you

can go back to your Mothers, go on piss off



   

                   

I want to live with a grown up

Bex not a    year old hooligan



   

                   

Don't give the ultimatum



   

                   

I just have, you go chasing that

leery git you don't stay here



   

                   

Suits me



   

                   

Oh, oh yeah yeah that's right, yeah

go on back to your Mummys, go on, kid



   

                   

Do you want to see me across the road



   

                   

That's it girl, go on kick the door down,

give me something to do at the weekend



   

                   

Bex



   

                   

What's a matter love,

feeling lonely already



   

                   

Shit



   

                   

Oi



   

                   

Hold on



   

                   

Alright I'm coming



   

                   

Come on hurry up



   

                   

What the hell are you doing here



   

                   

I've got a couple of punters with

me, show them around the house



   

                   

What's going on



   

                   

Ain't Mum told you, you're selling up



   

                   

He only looked



   

                   

You staying the night



   

                   

Yeah how much do you charge



   

                   

Well you always did treat

the place like a hotel



   

                   

Your night-porters uniform

could do with letting out



   

                   

I'll put the kettle on



   

                   

Come on then darling, open your handbag



   

                   

Christmas



   

                   

Well I think you're bleeding pathetic



   

                   

Pater you're just the

ph-ph-ph-photographer ok



   

                   

In my day we would of rushed up the Old

Kent road and kicked the shite out of them



   

                   

All this shows is that none of you

have got any bottle if you ask me



   

                   

Well no one did



   

                   

This is a precision raid, right



   

                   

Right Yeah right



   

                   

It's like cutting out a cancer



   

                   

You should of done him Sunday



   

                   

I said that Bill



   

                   

Don't take no shit, sort them out

straight away, I learned that in the army



   

                   

You ever, you ever get that sort of feeling

where you think you've heard something before



   

                   

Shut it will you Yeah dejavu mate yeah



   

                   

Nah don't use that language

in front of the snipers



   

                   

What's a matter with you, are

you brain dead or something



   

                   

Nah, I left mine at home didn't I,

it seemed like the best thing to do



   

                   

Here don't worry about

Dominic girls, its nerves



   

                   

This time next week my son

you're going to be a local hero



   

                   

A living leg end



   

                   

When you walk into the pub they're going to point at you and say "Look there goes Dominic, the

man who led the Inter City Crew raid on the Buccaneers, he's going to fly the flag in Europe"



   

                   

Well either that or you'll be

dead it's difficult to say really



   

                   

Anyway lets cut the bollocks



   

                   

Are we going to have

this team photo or what



   

                   

Right everyone hold something



   

                   

Oh God not another orgy mate



   

                   

Don't muck about Snowy



   

                   

Alright



   

                   

But I'll give you a good run mate



   

                   

Right lets be having you



   

                   

Oi take it easy with that Trig



   

                   

Come on hurry up hurry up



   

                   

Don't be so lippy



   

                   

Get it right Alright, alright



   

                   

Give it some, go on give it some



   

                   

All look vicious



   

                   

Come on Bill, come on Bill



   

                   

You're pathetic



   

                   

Come on Bill, come on hurry up,

alright here we go here we go



   

                   

All for one and one for all



   

                   

We'll break your legs



   

                   

Great mate that will come out

a treat, come out a treat mate



   

                   

I don't know what we're getting so

excited about, you forgot the flash



   

                   

Why so unhappy girls



   

                   

Look it ain't bottling

Bex it's it's just



   

                   

It's just bloody stupid that's all



   

                   

I mean it was daft enough    of us going

to Birmingham right, and now there's only  



   

                   

It's just suicide Bex



   

                   

So I'm daft now am I



   

                   

No look he didn't mean it like that

Bex Well it sounded like it to me



   

                   

Bex



   

                   

I thought you told me

this man was well hard, eh



   

                   

Yeah Bex he is, he is



   

                   

Except I've got this aversion

to getting myself killed yeah



   

                   

'mon, come on



   

                   

Lets have you



   

                   

Come on lets have it



   

                   

You don't talk like that to me, see



   

                   

'cause you ain't earned the right



   

                   

I'm going to give you a

little lecture now Dominic



   

                   

Do you know what Sociology is



   

                   

Eh I do, I've got an A-level

in it, clever git aren't I



   

                   

Sociology is the study

of social problems



   

                   

Now you, you got a

big social problem boss



   

                   

Come on Bex, we're on your side



   

                   

Well you've got a funny

way of showing it ain't you



   

                   

You see Dom, Simon and Beef can

run away, they live ten miles out



   

                   

Y'know they can hide

if they want to, but you



   

                   

This is your Manor, you've got to walk

up and down the street every fucking night



   

                   

and you're going to see me everywhere



   

                   

and I don't like seeing people who

let me down 'cause it makes me mad



   

                   

So you're in



   

                   

Both of you



   

                   

Right up the pointed end



   

                   

That's peer group pressure that is



   

                   

It's a real bastard



   

                   

Alright, you alright



   

                   

Right lads back in the toybox, come on



   

                   

You alright son



   

                   

Yeah mate



   

                   

Y'know he was right, you

should of used the flash



   

                   

Dad do us a favour, get the hoover out



   

                   

I'll put the kettle

on as well if you like



   

                   

  sugars



   

                   

There we are



   

                   

Off to work we go, eh Bexy



   

                   

Hi ho



   

                   

Who is it Police love, can you open up



   

                   

What, you got a pass or something We've

got a warrent, can you open up please



   

                   

What for



   

                   

Does Clive Bissell live here



   

                   

Yeah why



   

                   

We've got a warrent to search the premises, and we

would like to ask him a few questions, that's all



   

                   

Any chance of coming in



   

                   

Hey hold on a minute

there's a baby up there



   

                   

Are you Mrs Bissell



   

                   

yeah



   

                   

Better get your hubby up love,

my freind can be a bit rude



   

                   

My hubby is well gone, love



   

                   

What



   

                   

Watch my lips



   

                   

He is not here



   

                   

You, out



   

                   

Anything Nothing



   

                   

Station Nothing there either



   

                   

Got to be inside then isn't it



   

                   

What, is he off his head or what



   

                   

I told you Bexys bottled it



   

                   

Are you sure



   

                   

On my life, he ain't here



   

                   

I told you he would boss



   

                   

Right



   

                   

Lets do it



   

                   

Where is he He's nowhere

near, he's bottled it



   

                   

What's Bexy done



   

                   

He's bottled it



   

                   

What has he done



   

                   

He's bottled it



   

                   

I can't hear you



   

                   

He's bottled it



   

                   

Bottled it, Yeti he's bottled it



   

                   

Yeti Yeti Yeti



   

                   

Come on then, all of you



   

                   

Bexy



   

                   

Oh come on



   

                   

Oh bloody hell not you lot again



   

                   

We're going to Europe to do the Europeans,

is that plain enough for you, alright



   

                   

All of them, all of them



   

                   

All of them



   

                   

Hold up, hold up



   

                   

For me, for me I'm going for

Bexy 'cause he was top boy,right



   

                   

Yeah that's right



   

                   

He didn't die in vain,

because we will come together



   

                   

Right the Buccaneers, the

I.C.C. y'know we're all here



   

                   

Hornchurch, don't forget the Hornchurch



   

                   

We're all here



   

                   

and we're all going to

Germany, we're all going



   

                   

Well it's dog eat dog

isn't it, it's dog eat dog



   

                   

Well y'know, one man steps on my toe,

I step on his, y'know what I'm saying



   

                   

Hold on hold on, it says in the Bible,

an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth



   

                   

Well that's what we're going to do



   

                   

So in a way we're all Christians



   

                   

Yeaaaah



   

                   

He was visionary and he

wanted a national Firm



   

                   

He had brains



   

                   

Yeah, and you had to come in

on it 'cause it was visionary



   

                   

He sorted it, for all of

us Yeah,the man was special



   

                   

Bexys Firm But he

lives on, Bexy lives on



   

                   

Bexy lives for all of us



   

                   

He's not dead, you can't say he's dead. We're carrying

him, how can he be dead, because it's about belonging



   

                   

It's about belonging, it's about belonging and we all feel like we belong,

y'know because of him, you can't say he's dead, we still belong.......BEXY BEXY



   

                   

No, listen, it's unfortunate I got

this, but it's a buzz, we love doing it



   

                   

and we'll do it, an we'll do it anywhere, we'll go to Europe an do

it or we'll do it in this country and they're not going to stop us



   

                   

Oi oi oi listen i'll tell you

something mate, shut up right



   

                   

I tell you something, if they stop it at football, stop the

rucks at football, we go boxing, we go snooker, we go darts



   

                   

Look at that, look at

that, that's football



   

                   

What does that prove



   

                   

What do you mean it proves, it proves I stood,

it proves I stood It proves he's a hardman



   

                   

See that, that's what it's all about

mate, that's what it's all about



   

                   

England England England



   

                   

But we won   world wars..........



   

                   

Here we go, here we go, here we go











  

 
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