Voila! Finally, the Girl Interrupted
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Winona Ryder
and Angelina Jolie movie based on the Susanna Kaysen book. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Girl Interrupted. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Have you ever confused
a dream with life?
Or stolen something
when you have the cash?
Have you ever been blue?
Or thought your train moving
while sitting still?
Maybe l was just crazy.
Maybe it was the ' s.
Or maybe l was just a girl...
... interrupted.
Put her in restraints.
Withdraw bIood.
HoId on.
Give her five miIIigrams
of VaIium, IV.
Turn her head so she doesn't aspirate.
There you go.
Aspirin fragments
and vodka, I think.
Don't teII me what you think.
Take it to the Iab.
You shouId check my hand.
There's no bones in it.
A wrist banger.
Is that why you did this?
And other things.
Her parents are on the way.
Sometimes it's hard...
...for me to stay in one...
...pIace.
Susanna...
... if you had no bones
in your hand...
...how did you pick up the aspirin?
What is my mother doing?
WouId you answer my question, pIease?
How did you pick up the aspirin
if you had no bones in your hand?
By then, they'd come back.
I see.
No, you don't.
WeII...
...induIge me, then.
ExpIain it to me.
ExpIain what?
ExpIain to a doctor that the Iaws
of physics can be suspended?
That what goes up
may not come down?
ExpIain...
...that time...
...can move backwards and forwards...
...and now to then and back again...
...and you can't controI it?
Why can't you controI it?
What?
Why can't you controI time?
Where were you?
Everyone is here. Come on.
Mary, you remember Susanna.
Yes, I do.
You're wearing this?
I didn't know it was so earIy.
I wouId've changed.
Everybody, Iook who's here.
Happy birthday, Dad.
Thanks, sweetie.
I'm sorry, I want to say hi to her.
Sweetie, wouId you hoId this for me?
I just want to say hi to Susanna.
Excuse me. Susanna!
Susanna!
Professor GiIcrest's wife.
Barbara GiIcrest.
You remember me?
Bonnie's mom. I'm Bonnie's mom.
Your skin is so beautifuI.
Wasn't Bonnie in your Iit. cIass?
Yeah. How is she doing?
She just got accepted to RadcIiffe.
What a conundrum.
I'm a WeIIesIey girI, myseIf.
But I think young women shouId
make up their own mind, don't you?
Are you stoned?
Do you smoke pot?
Take LSD?
No drugs?
How do you feeI right now?
I...
...don't know.
I don't know what I'm feeIing.
You need a rest.
WeII, I'II go home, take a nap.
No. You need to go somewhere
where you can get a genuine rest.
And you're very Iucky.
The best pIace
for someone Iike you...
...is Iess than
a haIf an hour from here.
You don't mean CIaymoore?
Four days ago...
...you chased a bottIe of aspirin
with a bottIe of vodka.
I had a headache.
Your father is a friend of mine.
He's a coIIeague.
He asked me to see you...
...even though I don't do this anymore.
You're hurting everyone around you.
Now, CIaymoore is a topnotch pIace.
A Iot of peopIe go there.
Even writers.
Like you.
Great.
Yes, I'd Iike a cab
at MiIford, pIease.
My mother's here.
It'II be Iess emotionaI
if we do it this way.
Your parents and I taIked about it.
Now make sure, no stops.
Susanna, you there?
I want to see you again.
It was a one.time thing, okay?
Just come to my office tonight.
We're opening the presents!
TeII them you're going to a friend's.
Who shouId I teII first?
My parents, the department chairman,
or your wife?
No.
What did you do?
What did you do?
Excuse me?
WeII, you Iook normaI.
I'm sad.
WeII, everyone's sad.
I see things.
You mean, Iike tripping?
Kind of.
Then they shouId put
John Lennon away, huh?
I'm not John Lennon.
Don't get too comfortabIe.
ShouIdn't my parents...?
You have to sign them, Miss Kaysen.
You're over .
This is your decision.
I didn't try to kiII myseIf.
That's the kind of thing you taIk
about in therapy, honey. Not here.
Miss Kaysen?
You have the distinction
of being the onIy senior...
...not going on to coIIege.
May I ask what you pIan to do?
I pIan to write.
WeII, what do you pIan to do?
Look, I'm not gonna burn my bra or
drop acid or go march on Washington...
...I just don't want to end up
Iike my mother.
Women today have
more choices than that.
No, they don't.
And here.
You forgot one, dear. Here.
Speaking for Dr. Wick and myseIf,
weIcome to CIaymoore, Susanna.
This is the women's ward,
aIso known as South BeII.
This is where you'II be staying,
and this is where I work.
AII right, this is the second fIoor.
I need you to stay cIose to me
because it's easy to get Iost here.
This is our ward.
AII right, Iet's start with this room.
This is the art room.
PoIIy.
What are you doing here?
I feeI very musicaI today.
Can I just, for just a second?
Not today, honey.
That's PoIIy. Come on.
Margie, PoIIy was in
the art room by herseIf.
I'm sorry, VaI.
The Iiving room.
Everyone hates it.
And these are the phones.
To make a caII, pick up
the handIe, teII the nurse...
...she'II connect you.
This is the nurses' station,
which is seIf.expIanatory...
...and this is the TV room,
where everyone hangs out.
I want my fucking cIothes!
Then you'II have to
eat something, won't you?
The check.in board.
You check in here to take
a waIk on the grounds.
Oh, lordy, pick a bale of hay
Gotta jump down, spin around
Pick a bale of cotton
Jump down, spin around
Pick a bale of hay
She thinks that bothers me.
You're an "R," which means
"restricted to the ward."
But soon you'II
move up to two.to.ones...
...which is two nurses
to every patient.
I won't be here that Iong.
I'm just here for a rest.
It's aII right. Everybody gets
the same tour free of charge.
Georgina, this is Susanna,
your new roommate.
Oh, great. Hi.
You're Iucky.
Georgina's an exceIIent roommate.
Why, thank you, VaIerie.
You're weIcome.
The cops are bringing Lisa.
She was at the park.
WiII you excuse me?
I have business I have to attend to.
Georgina, wiII you take Susanna
to the dining room in a haIf.hour?
Yes means yes, Georgina.
I know.
Groovy box.
That.
Yeah, they're French.
The French Resistance
smoked them, I think.
Read this?
No. I saw the movie
a bunch of times, though.
The movie's based on the first book.
I read that one too, but there were
no ruby sIippers in it originaIIy.
They added that.
This takes pIace afterwards.
Dorothy doesn't reaIIy have
such a big part in this one.
Fucking pig.
Get off me!
Thanks, Gretta.
Hey, Dais, Iet anyone
in your room yet?
Hey, girIs! Hey, sexy.
It's good to be home.
Hey, Torch.
Hey, Lisa.
You miss me?
Not much.
Get her to her room.
Gretta wiII do the strip search.
Who's that with Georgie.girI?
Where's Jamie?
I can't deaI with this.
Don't give me a hard time.
Where is she? Where's Jamie?
Who are you?
Her name is Susanna, Lisa.
She smokes French cigarettes.
Why is aII your shit on her bed?
Open the damn door!
Why? Where's Jamie?
I don't know what
you're taIking about!
What the heII are you doing, Lisa?
Back off her.
Back off!
You've been gone for two weeks.
A Iot of shit has gone down.
Back off!
How'd she do it?
How'd she do it?
How did she do it, VaIerie?
Get the fuck off me!
You weak peopIe. You're aII weak
fucking peopIe! You're victims!
You peopIe are fucking sick!
What? No, no.
VaI, pIease. PIease!
Get her Iegs.
Get her feet!
I got her.
Get off!
HeIp!
We have got to cut those naiIs again.
My God! What the heII was that?
That was Lisa.
And Jamie was your roommate?
Jamie was Lisa's best friend.
She was sad because Lisa ran away...
...so she hung herseIf with
a voIIeybaII net.
Meds!
Cynthia CrowIey.
Susanna Kaysen.
Susanna Kaysen.
I am Mrs. McWiIIey,
and these are for you.
What are they?
They'II heIp you sIeep.
It's : . I'm not gonna...
For chrissake.
You can discuss it in the morning
with your doctor.
In the meantime,
we'II agree to disagree.
Take them here. Have some water.
PoIIy CIark.
You can go now.
Teresa McCuIIian.
Daisy Randone.
AngeIa Coury.
JacqueIine Lights.
Donna Smith.
Ryan Reed...
...yearbook editor and member
of the honour society.
Heading off to Tulane University.
CongratuIations, son.
Andrea Jacobs, president of
the French cIub and honour society...
...and on her way to Sarah Lawrence.
Susanna Kaysen.
What is she doing?
Some kind of a stunt.
Wake up, freak.
Checks.
Why do they do that?
They're just doing checks.
They'II space them out
after you've been here awhiIe.
That girI, PoIIy.
How did she get aII...?
When she was ...
...her mother toId her
she had to give away her puppy...
...because he was giving her a rash.
And so PoIIy went...
...and found her father's gas can...
...and she poured it aII over
where she was getting the rash.
And then...
...she Iit a match.
Oh, my God.
WeII, what about you?
Why are you here?
PseudoIogia fantastica.
What's that?
I'm a pathoIogicaI Iiar.
What are your pIans this faII?
What?
What are your pIans this faII?
I don't have any.
I'm gonna be an ethnobotanist.
FuII schoIarship to M.I.T.
I'm going to join the Krishnas.
Hare Krishna?
That's interesting, actuaIIy.
I was kidding.
You're Susanna, right?
I'm Toby.
Andrea Jacobs' brother.
I was at graduation.
You're pretty when you sIeep.
Checks. It's : .
I mean, everybody thinks
about it at some point.
How wouId you do it?
I don't know.
I guess I haven't reaIIy
thought about it.
See, once it's
in your head, though...
...you become this...
...strange, new breed.
A Iife form that Ioves
to fantasize about its own demise.
Make a stupid remark, kiII yourseIf.
You Iike the movie, you Iive.
You miss the train, kiII yourseIf.
What?
Let's not taIk about
this anymore, okay?
Why?
Because it's...
...stupid.
What?
What are you doing?
What? Because I don't want to kiII
myseIf? That's not cooI to you?
I don't wanna die.
I was just taIking.
Look, Susanna, the worId
is fucked up, okay?
It's so fucked up that if some...
...draft zombie puIIs my
birthday out of a barreI...
...I'm gonna die.
When's your birthday?
December th.
I'II pray for you.
Checks.
You asked for this?
Are you gonna watch?
Afraid so. That's why there's
so many fuzzy.Iegged women here.
Has anybody ever watched you shave?
I got two kids and one bathroom.
What do you think?
I think you shouId Iock the door.
-September th.
-Zero-zero-two.
Bingo.
Bingo. Bingo.
-December th.
Oh, my God.
Bingo.
-Zero-zero-three.
A guy I know was just drafted.
What's his name?
Toby.
He's dead now.
Get out, Lisa!
I'm not in your room.
I'm right here.
I was gonna offer you naiI poIish.
Get out!
You're Iooking better, Lisa.
Why, thanks, Margie.
How's the engagement?
You know.
No, I don't.
I've been away.
Joe wants me to...
Before the wedding.
Fuck his brains out.
Use a rubber.
Gosh, heII, no.
Can I bum one?
Go ahead.
So have you had your
first MeIvin yet?
Who's that?
BaId guy with a IittIe pecker
and a fat wife.
Your therapist, sweet pea.
UnIess...
...unIess they're giving you shocks.
Or, God forbid, Ietting you out.
Then you'II see the great,
wonderfuI Dr. Dyke.
She means Dr. Wick.
I've seen his office
but haven't met him.
He's a she.
Dr. Wick's a girI.
That's right, M.G.
Wick's a chick.
Hence the nickname.
Hey, LiI.
When the fuck is my checkup?
It's now, Lisa.
You said you'd be in your room.
Can't sit too Iong
without popping the hood.
AsshoIe!
You have MeIvin in haIf an hour.
I'II take you there.
I'm sorry.
Why are you using the past tense?
What do you mean?
WeII, he was...
...onIy drafted today,
so chances are, he's not dead yet.
He probabIy has severaI months...
...before he even reports.
He was just a nice guy, that's aII.
And it made me feeI bad.
You've been feeIing bad in generaI.
Right?
You've been feeIing depressed.
I haven't exactIy been
a baII of joy, MeIvin.
I understand you tried
to kiII yourseIf Iast week.
Anything you want to
teII me about that?
I had a headache.
So I assume you took the recommended
aspirin dosage for a headache.
I didn't try to kiII myseIf.
What were you trying to do?
I was trying to make the shit stop.
The time.jumps, the depression...
...the headaches, the thing
with your hand?
AII of the above.
I see.
PauI is dead!
What is it?
Are you puzzIed about something?
Yeah, I guess I am, MeIvin.
I'm puzzIed as to why
I have to be in a mentaI institution.
You put yourseIf here.
My parents put me here.
No, they didn't.
Everyone here's fucking crazy!
You wanna go home.
Same probIem.
M.G, Iook at me.
PIay with me.
Don't be sad. Don't be sad.
Thank you.
What are these?
CoIace. It's just a Iaxative.
I don't need them.
Are we going to have a probIem?
Are we going to have a probIem?
Are we going to have a probIem?
May I see?
Thank you.
Surrender.
Are we going to have a probIem?
No probIem.
Phone caII, booth one.
HeIIo?
-Hold on.
-Susanna?
Hi, Mom.
Hi, honey.
Your father's on too.
He's just back from reserves.
He got stuck at Dulles.
How are you, honey?
I'm fine, Dad.
-You know, sweetheart...
If you can't give me Ex.Lax,
can I pIease have some CoIace?
No. No more Iaxatives.
I can get her some prune juice.
Prune juice!
This is outrageous!
She was wondering if you'd
made new friends, and l said.:
"No, Mom, this isn't Camp Winnetka. "
Daisy?
Fuck off.
I have something you want.
Come in.
You're aII packed up.
Yeah, I'm Ieaving in a month.
My dad got me an apartment.
ReaIIy? Where?
It's near the airport.
One bedroom, two baths, eat.in chicken.
He fixed it up reaI nice for me.
You mean eat.in kitchen.
That's what I said, asshoIe.
So what do you have that I want?
Put it on the bed.
Put yours on the bed.
Oh, Jesus. Get out!
Get out!
Don't take advantage
just because she's new.
Pony up some VaIium.
Get the fuck out,
or I'm caIIing VaIerie! VaIerie!
Why don't you caII VaIerie?
CaII VaIerie and ask her for some
CoIace, Iike Susie Q's got in her hand.
Why does it stink in here?
I don't take VaIium.
I know. That's the point.
They give them to you,
and you don't take them.
Are you gonna eat that?
Checks.
You've got visitors, Daisy.
I want some fucking CoIace.
TaIk to MeIvin tomorrow.
You know what I think?
I think you want to poop, Daisy.
I think it's been days.
Look, it's okay. I don't care.
I do! I do care.
So Daddy buys you a private,
and no one gets in, huh?
You never Ieave except when VaIerie
makes you go to the cafeteria...
...where you never eat.
You're a Iaxative junkie.
I aIways thought you were Iike Janet,
but here you are with this chicken.
So what's with that, huh?
My dad owns a deIi, asshoIe,
with a rotisserie.
I Iike my dad's chicken. When
I eat something eIse, I puke.
But why do you eat it here? Why don't
you Iike to go to the cafeteria?
Which do you Iike better?
Taking a dump aIone
or with VaIerie watching?
AIone.
Everyone Iikes to be aIone
when it comes out.
I Iike to be aIone when it goes in.
To me, the cafeteria's
Iike being with...
... girIs aII at once taking a dump.
That is fucked up, Daisy!
Come on.
AII right, asshoIes.
Fine, here.
Here.
Lisa, don't!
No, pIease...
Dios-fucking-mio!
That's how Daddy
knows she's eating.
When I get five, VaIerie
makes me throw them away.
ScribbIe, scribbIe, scribbIe.
Written anything about me yet?
Don't do that.
Is Daisy reaIIy getting out?
She coughed up a big one.
How can...?
I mean, she's insane.
That's what "ther.rape.me"
is aII about.
That's why fucking Freud's
picture's on every shrink's waII.
He created an industry. You Iie down,
confess your secrets, and you're saved.
The more you confess, the more they
think about setting you free.
But what if you don't have a secret?
Then you're a Iifer, Iike me.
I was changing her diaper...
...and I turned to get the powder...
...and whiIe my back was turned,
she roIIed off the bed.
She roIIed off the bed
and broke her Ieg.
The doctor put her in a body cast,
but aIso strapped her down.
This has nothing...
You never toId me this.
CarI pIanned this trip
to Santa Monica.
He had a commitment at RAND.
So we took her with us.
On the back seat, strapped to this
board, miIes.
If you Iike, Mrs. Kaysen,
we can discuss this...
...further on the way out.
Just how Iong is my daughter
going to be here?
With aII due respect, Mr. Kaysen...
...psychiatry and economics
are different.
The Iength of Susanna's stay
isn't fixed.
It depends on her response
to treatment.
For what? Depression?
It's aImost Christmas. What do we say
to the peopIe who care about her?
See, what's going on here is...
...my parents are having a IittIe
hoIiday cocktaiI Christmas party crisis.
What?
What's the "borderIine" business
you mentioned?
I don't think that's usefuI to Susanna.
I mean, not...
What "borderIine business"?
The mind...
BorderIine what?
BorderIine between what and what?
It's a condition, Susanna.
And it's caIIed
BorderIine PersonaIity Disorder.
Oh, God.
It's not uncommon.
EspeciaIIy among young women.
What causes it?
We're reaIIy not sure.
Is it genetic?
Oh, Christ!
It is five times more common...
...among those with a borderIine...
...parent.
I can't do this. I'm sorry, I can't.
I can't do this.
"Razors pain you; rivers are damp;
acid stains you; drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't IawfuI;
nooses give...
...gas smeIIs awfuI;
you might as weII Iive."
Gin.
AsshoIe.
Fatso.
CaII me a cab.
Okay, you're a cab.
Lisa said you got into Daisy's room.
And it was fuII of chickens.
Susanna, you have a phone caII.
So what's your "diag-nonsense"?
Who is this?
-What'd he say to Mom and Pop?
I have a borderIine personaIity.
WeII, that's nothing.
What eIse?
He didn't say. He thought
it wouId affect my recovery.
Tongue your meds tonight.
After : checks,
Gretta aIways goes for a smoke.
Check the mirrors. lf they're
clear, go to Hector's closet.
lt's near the art room,
and it will be open.
Torch!
Come on.
This is how Lisa gets out
when she escapes!
We're under administration, so...
No good here.
Good thing this pIace has
a sIiding scaIe.
We get to mingIe with
the Iock.picking trash.
Good job!
Susanna, you're up!
No, no, no. I've onIy done
this once in my Iife.
Come on.
PIease.
We came aII the way here.
Come on!
AII right!
They put the tunneIs in so the Ioons
didn't have to go out in the coId.
I must've missed that in the brochure.
Hey, open the door.
What the fuck are you doing?
Dr. Wick's office.
AII right. Georgina Tuskin.
Susanna Kaysen.
PoIIy CIark.
Cynthia CrowIey.
CongratuIations.
Thank you.
Janet Webber.
Lisa Rowe.
Fuck you, MeIvin.
Wanna see mine?
Let me see yours.
"Lisa Rowe.
Highs and Iows increasingIy severe.
ControIIing reIationships with patients.
No appreciabIe response to meds.
No remission observed."
That was before you ran away.
We're very rare, and mostIy men.
Lisa thinks she's hot shit
because she's a sociopath.
I'm a sociopath.
No, you're a dyke.
"BorderIine PersonaIity Disorder.
An instabiIity of seIf.image,
reIationships and mood.
Uncertainty about goaIs.
ImpuIsive in activities
that are seIf.damaging...
...such as casuaI sex."
I Iike that.
"SociaI contrariness and a generaIIy...
...pessimistic attitude
are often observed."
WeII, that's me.
That's everybody.
I mean, what kind of sex isn't casuaI?
They mean promiscuous.
I'm not promiscuous.
I'm not.
Jesus.
Look at Janet.
No. It's aII right.
You know, taking us
for ice creams in a bIizzard...
...makes you wonder who
the reaI whack jobs are.
You know, I think it's
kind of nice.
I mean, I think it's nice to do
something nice on Daisy's Iast day.
Oh, fuck!
I'II have peppermint stick.
Me too.
Can I have peppermint stick?
Sure.
It's just caIIed peppermint.
Peppermint dick!
Peppermint cIit!
Okay. We're just gonna
have four cones.
Four cones.
Susanna, do you want anything?
I'm fine.
Ronny.
Got any hot fudge?
Yes.
Can I have a vaniIIa sundae
with hot fudge...
...and sprinkIes.
Rainbow, not chocoIate.
And...
...whipped cream, cherries...
...and...
Nuts?
Let's have a seat, Iadies.
MeIvin thought that I shouId
Iive in a haIfway house.
But my father knew
that I deserved my own apartment.
So he got me the prettiest apartment.
It has an eat.in chicken...
...and aII this beautifuI
wicker furniture, which is fantastic.
Wicker butterfIies.
My very favourite part...
...is Iike in the phone book.
There's a sign
right outside that says:
"If you Iived here...
...you'd be home now."
HeIIo, Susanna.
Do you remember me?
You must remember me.
Yes. Mrs. GiIcrest.
Susanna, you okay?
I'm fine.
Hey, Bonnie. How's RadcIiffe?
WeIIesIey.
I'm enjoying it.
It's strong in art.
Going to the Sorbonne.
That's great.
You know, I know aII about you...
...and I hope they put you away forever.
Is this the professor's wife?
What professor?
So you toId everybody.
Lady, back off.
Was I taIking to you?
Let's go.
No, you're spitting on me,
so meIIow.fucking.out.
Don't teII me what to do.
Look, she gave your husband
a rim job. Big fucking deaI!
He was begging for it,
and I heard it was Iike a penciI.
How dare you!
Some advice: Don't point your
fucking finger at crazy peopIe!
Let go of me!
Mother?
Get that out of my face, asshoIe!
Let go!
Now.
Stop it!
"Rank" you!
Come again, Mrs. Professor!
You shared a man with that woman?
Did you enjoy the fresh air?
Yeah, thanks.
Good. Because it's the Iast time
you're Ieaving the ward.
Is that a dare or a doubIe dare?
Okay, raise your arms. Very good.
We're going to be trees.
FeeI the strength in your arms
as the branches.
And reach those branches up to the sky.
Come on, Susanna, reach.
Very good!
Lisa, aII right.
Reach your arms, girIs.
Reach. ReaIIy Iift.
FeeI the stretch through the hip.
Very good.
Let your arms be branches.
There's strength in those branches.
Reach, reach aII the way up
into the sky. Very good.
Let the wind bIow the Ieaves
and Iet your fingers be the Ieaves.
Good, M.G, very good.
FeeI the wind.
Good. Good, Lisa.
Very good.
Just Iift up. Lift up.
Very good, girIs.
Now feeI your feet.
FeeI your feet be rooted.
Go down into a pIié.
Very good.
Good, girIs. PoIIy, very good.
Now stretch it. The wind's bIowing
reaIIy hard this way.
That is not fair.
That is not fair!
That is not fair!
Seventy.four is the perfect weight!
Good Iuck, crazy bitch.
What kind of tree can you be
down there on the fIoor?
I'm a fucking shrub, aII right?
Martin Luther King Jr. was killed
tonight in Memphis, Tennessee.
He was shot as he stood
on the balcony of his hotel room.
Last night, he said this.:
l don't know what will happen now.
We've got some difficult days ahead.
But it really doesn't matter
with me now...
...because l've been
to the mountaintop.
Susanna, you have a visitor.
What are you doing here?
I ship out next week.
Here.
Checks.
Sorry.
No. It's okay. We have
minutes tiII they come back.
Hey, Torch.
What you doing?
Nothing.
WeII, why don't you go to
your room and do nothing?
Checks.
Checks.
Checks.
Hey, Margie.
Hey, Lisa.
What you doing?
Checks.
How's Joe?
He's fine.
I have to do my checks.
Taking five minutes for me
wouId be a dereIiction of duty?
What if I had a punctured artery?
You'd go on your rounds,
ignoring my wounds?
Stop it.
Stop what? Look at this.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
That's enough!
Take one step
and I'II jam this in my aorta!
Stop it.
Your aorta is in your chest.
Good to know.
I'II make a note of that.
Good.
You have grounds priviIeges.
Why don't you take a waIk?
Go get a cup of coffee.
We shouId get out of here.
The cafeteria's this way.
My wheeIs are here.
Wait. What are we doing?
We're going to Canada.
You're not crazy.
Okay? You don't need to be here.
I tried to kiII myseIf, Toby.
You took some aspirin.
I took a bottIe of aspirin.
That buys you a year in this pIace?
That's buIIshit, okay?
They're breaking you.
Come on. AII right?
Everything's changing, man.
What do they know
about being normaI?
I have friends in here.
Who? Them?
Those girIs...
Susanna...
...they're eating grapes
off of the waIIpaper.
They're insane.
If they are, I am.
No, baby.
Listen, come with me.
Look...
...my dad gave me five grand.
Okay? We can go up there.
We can buiId a cabin in the woods.
Look, I know that this sounds crazy...
...but I think I Iove you.
So come with me. Okay?
Come with me.
You wanna Ieave, don't you?
Yes.
I wanna Ieave.
But not with you.
Not with you.
I'm sorry.
Susanna, wait a second.
Why did you do that?
Fix the Iight buIb at night?
I'm not here in the morning...
...and that's when you Iike to draw
your pictures and stuff.
So...
John?
Why do you Iike me?
I just Iike you.
That's aII.
I wish you were getting
better, though.
I wouId...
I'd take you out to go see
a movie or something.
That'd be nice.
My face!
My face!
I'm okay. I'm okay.
Let her be. She's fine.
My face!
My face!
SecIusion.
Take her to SecIusion. Come on.
I got you.
My face! Why?
Open it.
My face!
My face!
Quieten down. Quieten down.
You're aII right.
I'm ugIy! My face!
I'm ugIy! Why?
What happened to PoIIy?
What needs to happen?
No one's ever gonna kiss her.
They're buiIding a new
DisneyIand in FIorida.
If I couId have any job,
I'd be a professionaI CindereIIa.
You couId be Snow White.
PoIIy couId be Minnie Mouse and then...
...she'd be hugged, kissed
and Ioved...
...and no one wouId know
what's inside that giant head.
Give me your keys.
Hey, PoIIy.
It's Susanna.
Just pIay something.
If taIking did shit,
we'd be out of here by now.
When you're alone
And life is making you lonely
You can always go
Downtown
When you've got worries
All the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, l know
Downtown
Just listen to the music
ln the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalks
Where the neon lights are pretty
How can you lose?
The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles
Forget all your cares and go downtown
Back to your room, pIease.
Things will be great when you're
Downtown
McWiIIey is gonna wake up.
Give me the guitar.
You're gonna get me fired.
You'll be dancing with him
Before the night is over
Give me the guitar.
-Happy again
No. No.
It's okay. It's okay.
Come here.
You'II get me fired.
You know that?
Downtown
Everything's great...
... when you're downtown
I'm writing you up.
I am sick of this buIIshit.
Is she here?
You can go in now.
What did she do?
They drugged Nurse McWiIIey.
Good morning, Susanna.
Good morning.
How are you?
I'm fine, I guess.
Sit down.
You Iook tired.
PoIIy freaked out Iast night and we
stayed up singing to her, Lisa and I.
Have you become friends with Lisa?
Why? Is that bad?
Does it feeI bad?
No.
Before you came here, did you
have many girIfriends?
Not reaIIy.
WouId you say that before you came here,
your friends consisted mainIy...
...of boys, of men?
Does it say in there
that I'm promiscuous?
Why do you choose that word?
How many guys wouId I have to sIeep
with to be considered promiscuous?
Textbook promiscuous?
What do you think?
Ten. Eight. Five.
How many girIs wouId a guy have to sIeep
with to be considered promiscuous?
Ten? ? ?
Someone who's compuIsiveIy
promiscuous...
...might engage in a sex act
with a guest in their room...
...and then engage in another sex act
during the same day with an orderIy.
Am I in troubIe for kissing an orderIy
or giving my boyfriend a bIowjob?
MeIvin says...
...you have some very interesting
theories about your iIIness.
You beIieve there is
a mysticaI undertow in Iife.
"Quicksands of shadows."
Another one of my theories is that you
peopIe don't know what you're doing.
You acknowIedge a probIem
coping with this quicksand.
I have a probIem coping with this
hospitaI. I wanna Ieave.
I can't do that.
I signed myseIf in,
I can sign myseIf out.
You signed yourseIf into our care.
We decide when you Ieave.
You're not ready for it, Susanna.
Your progress has pIateaued.
Does that disappoint you?
I'm ambivaIent.
In fact, that's my new favourite word.
Do you know what that means,
ambivaIence?
I don't care.
If it's your favourite word,
I wouId've...
It means "I don't care."
That's what it means.
On the contrary, Susanna.
AmbivaIence suggests strong
feeIings in opposition.
The prefix, as in ambidextrous...
...means "both."
The rest of it, in Latin,
means "vigour."
The word suggests that you are torn...
...between two opposing courses
of action.
WiII I stay or wiII I go?
Am I sane or am I crazy?
Those aren't courses of action.
They can be, dear, for some.
WeII, then, it's the wrong word.
No.
I think it's perfect.
"What worId is this?
What kingdom?
What shores of what worIds?"
It's a very big question
you're faced with, Susanna.
The choice of your Iife.
How much wiII you induIge
in your fIaws?
What are your fIaws?
Are they fIaws?
If you embrace them, wiII you commit
yourseIf to hospitaI for Iife?
Big questions, big decisions.
Not surprising you profess
careIessness about them.
Is that it?
For now.
This way, Susanna.
John was moved to the men's ward.
And Lisa never came back
from Dr. Wick's office.
We live in a time of doubt.
The institutions we once trusted
no longer seem reliable.
Daisy sent us a postcard
aII about her new apartment.
She got a pussycat.
Where's Lisa?
You know where she is.
They just put her in another ward.
I think you need to get up.
I'm just gonna rest for a whiIe,
just a IittIe whiIe.
What are you doing?
Fuck!
Sorry, too coId?
What the fuck are you doing?
Get me the fuck out of this tub!
Get yourseIf out.
Where's Lisa?
Where the fuck is Lisa?
Can't hack it without her?
You banish her for singing to PoIIy.
We were trying to heIp her!
We were trying to heIp her! This pIace
is a fucking fascist torture chamber!
No.
I worked in state hospitaIs.
This pIace is a five.star hoteI.
Oh, lordy, pick a bale of cotton
You know, I can take a Iot of crazy
shit from a Iot of crazy peopIe...
...but you?
You are not crazy.
Then what's wrong with me?
What the fuck's going on
inside my head?
TeII me Dr. VaI, what's
your diag.nonsense?
You are a Iazy, seIf.induIgent
IittIe girI...
...who is driving herseIf crazy.
Is that your medicaI opinion? Huh?
Is that what you've Iearned in your
studies at night schooI...
...for Negro weIfare mothers?
I mean, MeIvin doesn't have a cIue.
Wick is a psycho. And you...
...pretend you're a doctor.
You sign charts and doIe out meds, but
you's ain't no doctor, Miss VaIerie.
You's ain't nothing
but a bIack nursemaid.
And you're just throwing it away.
You stiII wanna go to FIorida?
Lisa, we need money, don't we?
You've tongued your meds?
Yeah, but I onIy have...
They gave me shocks again.
Jamie, I have to get out of here.
I'm Susanna.
I'm Susanna.
What are we doing?
What is it?
"Dear sir, pIease give
Daisy Randone assistance...
...instaIIing a teIephone
at Vicar Street."
I thought we were going to FIorida!
We just need a pIace to crash
tiII we get pIane tickets.
Come on.
Nice coat.
What?
You don't want me, Tony.
Yes, I do, baby.
No, you don't.
I'm a crazy girI.
You're crazy, so we can't
have one night?
I am a crazy girI. SeriousIy.
You've been in a hospitaI?
Yes.
Do you see purpIe peopIe?
My friend, he saw purpIe peopIe.
And so the state came
and took him away.
He didn't Iike that.
Some time went by...
...and he toId them he didn't see
purpIe peopIe no more.
He got better.
No. He stiII sees them.
We gotta spIit.
Somebody stop her!
She took my fucking waIIet!
Identify yourseIf.
It's Susanna and...
It's Susanna. Daisy?
You got VaIium?
CooI pad.
Peace, man, peace.
I'm sorry for being a bitch.
I was a drag.
That's for you.
That's Ruby.
My dad bought her for me.
This is a Castro ConvertibIe.
It puIIs out.
CooI.
Where's your bathroom?
Right there.
You don't have a tub.
No, I don't.
What about upstairs?
Nope.
So, what, did you two
escape or what?
ActuaIIy, we're going to FIorida.
AII you have is mustard
and your chickens.
So what are you girIs going
to do in FIorida?
I'm gonna be CindereIIa at
WaIt Disney's new theme park.
Susanna's gonna be Snow White.
You can come if you want.
You can be the cocker spanieI
that eats spaghetti.
I wanna make pancakes.
I'm tired.
I wanna go to bed.
I want to make pancakes
in the morning.
There's a market on the corner.
Pans are under the sink.
SiIver's in that drawer.
Do you have any money?
Do you have some sort
of a safety net down there?
PeopIe you know down there in FIorida?
ReIatives?
Friends? Anything?
This is for your pancakes.
Don't make a Iot of noise
in the morning.
I Iike to sIeep Iate.
I'II come down when I'm ready.
Give me the VaIium.
We don't need your daddy's money.
Then Ieave it there.
Just give me the fucking VaIium.
What's this?
What's this?
Let go.
Trying out your new siIver?
Get the fuck off me.
Less appeaIing for Daddy.
Look at your own arm, asshoIe.
I'm sick, Daisy. We know that.
But here you are in so.caIIed
recovery, cut up Iike a ham.
Just stop it, okay?
HeIp me understand.
I thought you didn't do VaIium.
TeII me how this works.
TeII me that you don't drag that bIade
across your skin...
...and pray for the courage
to press down.
TeII me how your daddy
heIps you cope with that.
IIIuminate me.
My father Ioves me.
I bet.
With every inch of his manhood.
Oh, God.
I'm going to sIeep now.
PIease be gone in the morning.
You're just jeaIous, Lisa...
...because I got better.
Because I was reIeased.
Because I have a chance.
And a Iife.
They didn't reIease you
because you're better.
They just gave up.
You caII this a Iife?
Taking Daddy's money? Buying your
doIIies and your knickknacks?
Eating his fucking chicken?
Fattening up Iike a prize heifer?
You changed the scenery,
but not the situation...
...and the warden makes house caIIs.
And everybody knows.
Everybody knows that he fucks you.
What they don't know...
...is that you Iike it.
You Iike it.
Shut the fuck up!
Man, it's cooI. It's okay.
It's fucking fine!
A man is a dick is a man
is a dick is a chicken...
...is a dad...
...a VaIium, a specuIum, whatever.
Whatever.
You Iike being Mrs. Randone.
ProbabIy aII you've ever known.
Have fun in FIorida.
Has she come down yet?
No.
But she's been pIaying
that shit aII morning!
Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don't they know
lt's the end of the world
lt ended when you said
Goodbye
Daisy?
Oh, my God!
What an idiot.
Yes, I need an ambuIance.
Make it a hearse.
Daisy Randone. She kiIIed herseIf.
Vicar Street.
Yes. PIease hurry!
You pressed her buttons.
Now you're taking her money.
I didn't press shit.
She was waiting for an excuse.
Pack up.
We have to go.
AII right?
We have to go!
Now we have money.
Don't be stupid.
AII right, fine.
Be stupid.
We shouId send someone
for a Iitter box.
Can I pet the kitty?
Be carefuI.
HeIIo, puddy.cat.
Kitty!
You are so cute.
Checks.
Where's Georgina?
She's staying with PoIIy tonight.
They're pIaying with your cat.
Did they find Lisa?
No.
I couIdn't stand up to her.
A decent person wouId
have done something.
Shut her up.
Gone upstairs.
TaIked to Daisy.
MeIvin said you went upstairs.
Too Iate.
What wouId you have said to her?
I don't know.
That I was sorry.
That I'II never know what
it was Iike to be her.
But I know what it's Iike
to wanna die.
How it hurts to smiIe.
How you try to fit in,
but you can't.
How you hurt yourseIf
on the outside...
...to try to kiII the thing
on the inside.
Susanna, it's aII weII and good
to teII me aII this.
But you've got to teII
some of this to your doctors.
How am I supposed to recover...
...when I don't even
understand my disease?
But you do understand it.
You spoke very cIearIy
about it a second ago.
But I think what you've got
to do is put it down.
Put it away.
Put it in your notebook.
But get it out of yourseIf.
Away, so you can't
curI up with it anymore.
Lisa thinks it's a gift.
That it Iets you see the truth.
Lisa's been here for eight years.
I'm so sorry.
I was a pig.
It's aII right. Listen.
Do not drop anchor here.
Understand?
When you don't want to feel...
... death can seem like a dream.
But seeing death...
...really seeing it...
...makes dreaming about it
fucking ridiculous.
Maybe there's a moment,
growing up...
... when something peels back.
Maybe we look for secrets because
we can't believe our minds.
Though l missed Lisa,
life was easier without her.
A thought is a hard thing
to control.
All l know is that
l began to feel again.
Crazy? Sane?
Whatever l was, l knew there was
only one way back to the world...
...and that was to use the place...
... to talk.
So l saw the great and wonderful
Dr. Wick three times a week...
...and l let her hear
every thought in my head.
Do you think maybe I have ESP
or something, that I'm gifted?
Perhaps.
You think I can be home
by Thanksgiving?
Nothing's happened
in weeks, you know.
The point is controI.
Yeah, and here I am,
in controI, off meds...
...no headaches, sIeeping sound.
Oh, will you help me?
Can you help me?
You don't need to be helped
any longer.
You've always had the power
to go back to Kansas.
l have?
Then why didn't you tell her before?
Because she wouldn't have
believed me.
She had to learn it for herself.
What have you learned, Dorothy?
l think that it...
... that it wasn't enough just to want
to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em...
...and if l ever go looking
for my heart's desire again...
...l won't look any further
than my own back yard.
Because if it isn't there...
...l never really lost it
to begin with.
-ls that right?
-That's all it is.
Thanks, Joe.
Go away. Go away!
It's me.
It's been a whiIe...
...and I just wanted to say hey.
You okay?
FabuIous.
You're gonna be Iate.
Gretta's waiting for you.
I gotta go. Dr. Wick.
They stiII fucking with you?
They're...
ActuaIIy, they're Ietting me out.
Oh, that's great.
You better go.
WeII, my dad got me a job,
a part.time job...
...at a bookstore in Harvard Square.
And I got an apartment
with a phone so I can...
Stay in touch.
And I'II be seeing Sonia
twice a week.
Is that your Iong.term pIan?
To work in retaiI?
My pIan? No.
Then what do you pIan to do?
I pIan to write.
Polly Clark.
Cynthia CrowIey.
Susanna Kaysen.
I don't think I need...
SIeeping piIIs, darIing.
You want to be rested for tomorrow.
Last night's a Iong one.
Good girI. Katie Cooper.
Rosemary Jones.
Teresa McCuIIian.
Ruby?
"If I spread my fingers out,
my hand Iooked more human.
So I did that.
But it wasn't tiring hoIding my
fingers apart, so I Iet them reIax...
...and then, I turned my hand over.
The back wasn't much better.
My veins buIged."
Shut up, I'm reading.
Shut up!
"I can honestIy say that my memory
has been transformed...
By Freud's definition,
I've achieved mentaI heaIth.
And my discharge sheet
reads, 'recovered.'
Recovered."
Don't do this!
"Whatever it was..."
"Had I stopped arguing
with my personaIity?
Recovered."
We were reading your book.
We're having a IittIe read.aIoud...
...ceIebrate the wisdom you're
taking into the worId.
Try to Iearn something,
grow as peopIe.
When you were a baby,
they strapped you to a board.
You think Georgina doesn't
wanna Ieave...
...and I'm criminaIIy insane.
What are you guys doing here?
"Lisa's eyes, once so magnetic,
now just Iook empty."
That is mine.
That is mine.
"Georgina Iies onIy to peopIe
who keep her here.
Sometimes I think she wants
to Iive in Oz forever."
How perceptive.
You better erase that thing.
My father is the head of the CIA,
and he couId have you dead in minutes!
"In this worId, Iooks are everything.
Sometimes I think PoIIy's sweetness
and purity aren't genuine at aII...
...but a desperate attempt to make it
easier for us to Iook at her."
So nice of you to pass judgment on us
now that you're cured.
What the fuck are you doing, Lisa?
I'm pIaying the viIIain,
Iike you want.
I give you everything you want.
No, you don't.
You wanted your fiIe?
I got it!
You wanted out, I got you out!
You needed money, I found you some!
I toId you the truth!
I didn't write it in a book!
I toId you to your face!
I toId Daisy what everybody knew and
wouIdn't say, and she kiIIed herseIf.
I pIayed the fucking viIIain.
Just Iike you wanted.
Why wouId I want that?
Because it makes you
the good guy, sweet pea.
You come back here, aII sweetness
and Iight and sad and contrite...
...and everybody wrings their hands,
congratuIating you on your bravery.
MeanwhiIe, I'm bIowing guys at the
bus station for money!
Stop it, Lisa. She's too...
Shut up, PoIIy!
Where are you going?
I'm taIking to you!
Where are you going?
I'm taIking to you!
You don't Iike me anymore?
No, I don't!
Because you're free?
You think you're free?
I'm free!
You don't know what freedom is!
I'm free!
I can breathe! And you...
...you'II go choke on your
average fucking mediocre Iife!
There are too many buttons
in the worId.
Too many buttons,
and they're just...
There's way too many,
begging to be pressed.
They're just begging to be pressed!
You know, they're just
begging to be pressed.
And it makes me wonder.
It makes me fucking wonder.
Why doesn't anybody ever press mine?
Why am I so negIected?
Why doesn't anybody reach in
and rip out the truth...
...and teII me
that I'm a fucking whore...
...and that my parents
wish I were dead?
Because you're dead aIready, Lisa!
No one cares if you die, Lisa...
...because you're dead aIready.
Your heart is coId!
That's why you keep
coming back here.
You're not free.
You need this pIace.
You need it to feeI aIive.
It's pathetic.
I've wasted a year of my Iife.
And maybe everyone
out there is a Iiar.
And maybe the whoIe worId...
...is stupid and ignorant.
But I'd rather be in it.
I'd rather be fucking in it...
...than down here with you.
Don't. Don't.
Don't.
Oh, God.
Did you get it?
I had to trade with a transvestite
in the men's ward.
Thanks.
I'm not reaIIy dead.
I know.
I'm gonna miss you, Susie Q.
No, you're not.
You're gonna get out of here...
...and you're gonna come and see me.
Hey, Georgina.
You know aII that stuff
I write in my journaI...
...I don't know what I'm saying.
They're just thoughts.
Maybe I'm the Iiar.
Maybe not.
See you.
You think if I Ieft Ruby here
you'd take care of her for me?
Let me pIay with her
when I come for my therapy?
Bye, Ruby.
Remember me when you shave your Iegs.
Declared healthy...
...and sent back into the world.
My final diagnosis.:
A recovered borderline.
What that means, l still don't know.
Was l ever crazy?
-Maybe.
Or maybe life is.
I remember you.
Where are you going?
BurIingame.
AII right.
Crazy isn't being broken...
... or swallowing a dark secret.
lt's you or me...
...amplified.
lf you ever told a lie...
...and enjoyed it.
lf you ever wished you
could be a child forever.
They were not perfect...
...but they were my friends.
And by the '70s...
...most of them were out...
... living lives.
Some l've seen...
...some, never again.
But there isn't a day my heart
doesn't find them.