Voila! Finally, the Grind
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the skater movie
starring Adam Brody, Bam Margera, etc. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Grind. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
It's a beautiful morning, Chicago. And to
all you graduating Bulldogs, ''Go get them!''
Boys.
Hey.
Dude!
Dude.
How's it hanging, man?
Slightly to the left, bro.
Why? What's up?
Nothing. Just stopped by to check out
your decks. l thrashed mine.
-Check out my new ''sponsor me'' tape.
-Any different than the last three?
Totally. Remember that trick l was trying
on the vert? That flip trick?
This close to landing it.
l'll have it in a week.
-You're wasting your time.
-Thanks.
l'll tell you what.
lf you land it, l'll sponsor you.
-All right.
-ln the meantime, wanna buy something?
l wish l could, dude. l'm broke.
l'm broke. Just let me hang out.
l'm your best customer. l'm here every day.
But you never spend money. You gotta start
spending money. Money-spending is good.
Little man! l told you already.
Reach your hand in there with that T-shirt...
...you're pulling out a stump! Don't make
me go over and smack you!
Yo, Bam.
-What's up, man?
-Bro.
-l love you, bro.
-All right. Easy, Greg.
Freaking me out, man.
Let me get a skateboard.
-Which one do you want?
-l don't care. They're all the same shape.
l want my board, right there.
That one.
-Let me get all three of those.
-l can do that for you.
-Bam special. Bam!
-Bam.
-Hey, what's up?
-What's up, man?
Do you remember me? Probably not. We
skated SCRAP together a couple years ago.
-Oh, yeah. Dude, yeah. You were ripping.
-Thanks, bro.
-Keep an eye on this kid.
-Thanks.
Watch out for this guy's frontside .
-He's got the SSBSTS lurking.
-lt's for the wall.
-You going to the demo later on?
-Hell, yeah. l wouldn't miss it.
-lt's for the wall.
-You don't have to make excuses.
-Sorry.
-Bam was a loser before he got sponsored.
-Just like you, dude.
-Thanks.
l'll tell you what.
l'm gonna make you a deal, Greg.
-You flow me one of these decks.
-For free?
Yeah, for free. Exactly.
And in exchange, l'll skate it.
l'll tell everybody where l got it.
You can sponsor me.
All right, dude.
Which one do you want?
For real?
All right.
How about we go with one
of those Elements, like Bam got?
Dude, for you, l can go that board $ .
Tax not included.
Nice hat.
We're late.
Let's go.
Shut up.
l still can't believe it. Bam just walks in and
Greg tosses him a handful of his decks.
-l can't wait to get my own deck.
-l did the math.
There's guys who make a living skating
and about a million wannabes like us.
And?
And nothing. But until a sponsor backs
a tour bus into my driveway...
...l have to work all summer
to pay for school.
l don't believe you.
You're still gonna bail on me.
You know what? Matt listened to your crap,
and look where that got him.
The guy is a complete stain.
-Matt deceives you.
-l don't--
He does because he, in actuality,
really knows which end is up.
What's up, man?
So Dustin's bailing on us again.
Really? l'm gonna alert the press, man.
Dustin's always bailing.
l'll always skate.
l just won't be homeless with you.
You say that,
but l know you mean something else.
Before you know it, you'll be a fat,
middle-aged male with a nice beer gut...
...divorced about times,
wishing you were skating again.
Dudes.
-Get the moron out of the pool.
-Matt.
When is the moron gonna
release his death grip on our premises?
Have you smelled it lately?
lt's like an open sewer.
-Good to see you too, Pops.
-We need to talk about your future.
Yeah, you know, l'd love to,
but we're heading out to this....
-Sugarplum.
-l hate when he calls me that.
Listen, remember our deal.
-Dad, l--
-Don't ''Dad'' me. We had a deal.
You're either in school, or you're at Rivers
Hardware working next to your old man.
Sniffing a little of that lacquer
while you're mixing the paint. Come on!
Obvious perks there.
lt's a good living. lt's a good future.
lt's a good life. l'll tell you that much.
Think about it.
Yeah. Let's go, honey.
Get in there, you little....
Dude, your stepmom is so hot.
See the way she was looking at me?
l was like....
-Hello?
-Good afternoon, Chili N Such.
-Can l scoop for you?
-I'd like chili, Fire in the Hole...
...hotter than hell,
make it meat in the ass.
Hey there.
Hi, l ordered a Tummy-Killer Ranchero...
...and l got a Double-Chunk Gut Bomb
with cheese by mistake.
-l'd like what l ordered.
-Sorry, sir.
-Hello?
-l didn't get that, sir. Could you--?
-Could you repeat that?
-Open your ears, jackass!
Yeah, l see that you already ate
the Gut Bomb, though.
Yeah, but l can't help it that l didn't
figure it out until l'd swallowed it all.
-You really think you need another?
-What?
Mr. Knight, let me handle this.
Sir, our policy clearly states every customer
will be served to his satisfaction.
Customer may receive a replacement--
Excuse me, l'll be right with you.
A replacement will be given as long
as he has a receipt. You have one?
All right, that's good.
Give him one of these. You're late, Eric.
You're just a little bit late.
And late is not great.
Do you wanna go to the restroom
before l reload you?
-You want me to call the grownup back?
-You're probably leaking beans.
One big scoop. That's two,
but two is enough. Two is plenty.
Now, let's go over here
and do the cheddar.
Two scoops of cheddar, one scoop
of onion. That's very good, son.
You know, Eric, you've got great potential.
Just go to it. You go to it, deputy.
Attaboy! Fire in the Hole!
One Fire in the Hole there.
No, sir, we don't have diet.
Two hours till the demo. Let's get
this place cleaned up and get out.
l can't. l need the overtime.
Oh, boy!
Boy! Someone really abused the men's
room. lt's like a doody bomb exploded.
Was he a tall guy with glasses maybe?
Just a hunch.
-Think this is funny, Mr. Knight?
-No, l don't.
Show a little team spirit. Go in there
and make it sparkle. Here you go.
-lt'll be my pleasure.
-Thank you, sir.
Hey, listen. Wear gloves, buddy.
Keep laughing, Eric, but l'm gonna be at
college in the fall, and you'll still be here.
And you, sir.
There's a birthday party at table .
Need you in the bean suit.
You're kidding me.
The bean suit again?
Bean suit right away.
Thank you, sir.
-Whose birthday is it?
-Ours.
l'm Sheriff Bean.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands
together and scream...
...because it is on today, Chicago.
I don't know if you were praying last night,
but we got some great weather today.
-l can't believe you quit.
-Shut up and pay attention.
This is insane. l've never seen anyone
do these lines at the park.
-Cold?
-Jimmy Wilson!
Give it up! That's right, Chicago.
Jimmy, over here!
Look at all those hot chicks lining up
to get a crack at him.
-There is no bruised fruit in that medley.
-No beasts.
You know what? lt's more than that.
This guy is skating for a living.
-You guys wanna go check out the vert?
-Yeah.
Mommy!
Can you move, in case one
of those skaters looks over here?
-l'm a professional skater, baby.
-Yeah, right.
l'm telling you the truth. l'm not skating
today, because l thrashed my arm.
Here, smell this. You think it's more like
pepperoni or ass crack?
l got bucks on pepperoni.
You're so gross, man.
You'll be back.
-Think he does his own laundry?
-Are you kidding me?
He gets sick of his shirt, he takes it off
and he gets a new one for free.
l want!
You need to earn your rank here.
Check it out.
Jimmy Wilson!
Yeah!
Can you imagine for five seconds
what it must be like to ride in that thing?
Hell, yeah.
Girls, money...
...signing autographs,
making the girls go--
Look at this. Look at this.
No way, man!
Pinch me.
Let's go.
Don't l know you from Chili N Such?
Breasts.
l like them two at a time and round.
Ladies!
l represent
the Release the Twins Foundation.
You guys wanna make a little donation?
-What are you talking about?
-About releasing those twins.
They look uncomfortable
in their little cages. Come out!
lt's no wonder why you can't get a date.
lt was working.
-l'm in a dry spell, man.
-To be in a dry spell...
-...you've had to have been in a wet spell.
-l've had sex.
Yeah, with a human, though.
Who's making these rules, man?
Product toss.
l love it when these little freaks
tear each other's skin off for a sticker.
What is he doing?
l had to skin a -year-old
for that, man.
You needed a board.
lt's yours.
Let's see if we can talk to Jimmy
before we jet.
Excuse me, sir,
we're here to see Jimmy.
-Oh, my freaking Lord!
-Oh, my God! Get it away.
-What are you looking at?
-Nothing, sir.
We are just here to see Jimmy. ls he in the
scar--? The car? The bus? That where he is?
-That's a big ''no'' on Jimmy.
-Good. Thank you.
-What are you looking at, pinhead?
-No.
What's up?
Actually, we're here to see Jimmy.
He told me to drop this tape by for him.
-l think he wants to sponsor us.
-That's cool.
-l'm stoked.
-That's great, guys. Hang on just a minute.
All right.
Let's see.
-Cool.
-There you go.
Yeah. This is just today's haul.
-Excuse me, that's all from today?
-Yeah.
-''Sponsor me.'' Two very popular words.
-How does he have time to watch all those?
Well, he's worked out this technique
where he doesn't watch any of them.
lt's working out really well for him. Yeah.
-Should l bounce these nerds out of here?
-No, they're cool. You guys are cool, right?
-Yeah, we're straight.
-l'm cool.
-lt's okay.
-All right.
So l'm here to help you.
l don't want you to get in trouble.
Because the truth is, Jimmy did want us
to come by and say what's up, you know?
And if you could just get us in
for two minutes....
-l can do that.
-You can do that.
But l'm not going to do that,
because l don't want to.
And l just can't seem to find my way
around that.
l'm sorry. l really wish you guys
all the best in the world, sincerely.
You know, but-- You know, hey.
Guys, just skate, you know?
And if you're really any good,
then someone will find you.
All right?
All right.
-Now would be a good time.
-Hey! Get out of here!
Nice kids. l like them.
Don't you like them?
l like them.
All right, so pack your shit.
We're going on tour.
-When do we leave?
-Did somebody see our tapes?
-Whose team are we on?
-Hold on. Hold on.
Live for your viewing pleasure.
We are Super Duper Skates.
Dear Lord, Eric!
l am never, ever going to wear that.
The whole thing sort of sounds sketchy.
l'm sorry.
l never heard of this Super Duper Skates.
Yeah, l know.
That's because l just made it up.
Wake up and smell the desperation.
We needed a company name
to give us credibility on tour.
-On tour?
-Right. We're hitting the road as a team.
-We skate better than half of those guys.
-Yeah, l can. lt's weird.
There you go. Jimmy's a man, right? Once
we're on the road, we follow him around.
We get in front of him one time,
he'll see we're the real deal.
That does sound super-duper.
But l really don't-- l mean,
l'm just saying, if you think about it--
No, it's cool. lt's cool. You two
can sit here and touch yourselves...
...for the rest of your lives, or you can try
getting off your asses and making it happen.
That's about a nine
on the Richter scale, man.
l think he's saying we got a nest egg
here, and we're extraordinarily comfortable.
Slug Bug!
Mr. Rivers!
Slug Bug!
Mr. Rivers.
Kids dig me.
-When's her lease up?
-Where's the money we're using...
...on this trip coming from?
-Stop looking at me.
-You can do this. You have no choice.
-l absolutely am not doing it. l can't.
-You can.
No. Don't even talk-- l'm not.
There's no way in hell l'm doing it.
What?
Now that the money issue is settled,
where are we gonna get some wheels?
We just got to find a van.
l got it!
That was my mom's.
This was actually my grandma's,
this little bellybutton ring.
-lt's crazy.
-That's so sweet.
l like the way you guys smell.
-Sweet Lou.
-See you girls later.
-What's going on?
-What's up, fool?
-How are you guys doing?
-Doing good.
Matt Jensen.
-Good to see you guys.
-So, dude, listen, we're thinking...
-...about joining the Jimmy Wilson Tour.
-Really?
Yeah. lt's gonna be phat. We need a fourth
skater, so we were thinking about you.
Naturally, but....
Sweet Lou's got everything
he needs right here.
What? Okay. Dude, we're going
cross-country. You know what that means.
-Yeah.
-Yeah, you do.
No. What does that mean?
Dude, chicks in different area codes.
Uncharted territory.
I got pros
I got pros
You know what l'm saying?
lt's tempting, but....
l don't know.
You know, school just let out and all.
Didn't you graduate six years ago?
Yeah.
But they didn't.
-Hi.
-Again, a good point.
Well....
Maybe it's none of my business
or anything...
...but don't you think maybe you should
move on? A little change?
lt's just too easy, sitting here year after
year, watching the new crop roll in...
...and me just taking my pick.
Besides, my calendar
is already pretty booked.
You saw those two Betties
that were here before?
They're just my Tuesday.
You should see Friday.
Yeah, we should hang out.
You guys have fun on your little road trip,
but count me out.
All right, man, well l'm gonna miss you.
-Hey, Lou.
-Hey, Wednesday.
lt's Sandy.
Right.
l've been trying you all day.
Sandy, chill.
l told you, l'd call you.
Wednesday.
Don't get so extended.
What's up, baby? Matt Jensen.
l'm okay with that and everything,
but my dad is crazed.
-You told your dad?
-Yeah. He says he's gonna kill you...
...and then dangle your balls
from his rear-view mirror.
Daddy!
-What's the first stop?
-Wait! You're in?
Daddy, don't hurt him! Please!
-Call me!
-Bye, Lou!
Call me on Wednesday, okay?
One more thing, dude.
Not bad.
Van Gogh.
-Let's roll.
-Cool.
Dustin was supposed to be here
a half-hour ago.
-What about my overtime?
-You don't need it.
-What about college?
-Consider this your full ride.
Then l need to go back
and get my special pillow.
Get inside!
Excuse me, Mr. Knight,
your shift is not over!
You have not punched out, Mr. Knight!
Mr. Knight!
Where are we going?
Jimmy Wilson's skating the Pro-Am contest
in Kansas. lt's our first stop.
Damn, it smells like roses.
l done farted!
Why you always gotta base
in my face, fool?
Yo, yo, check it.
All right, Kansas,
are you ready to go big?
l knew you knew who l was!
You saw that front cover, baby.
Watch out, son.
Yo, l know you wannabes
are not here to skate!
What's up, white chocolate?
Don't be talking no head, fool.
Red Crip, tell them what's up.
-Yeah, l'm feeling to bust you in your grills.
-Yeah, in your grills, dog!
Our grills?
ls there some sort of barbecue later?
The party is at Rolling Deuce tonight.
lt should be pretty cool.
-Sounds cool.
-She's talking to Matt Ball, dude.
All right, no worries.
l got this under control.
-Hey, how are you?
-Good.
Eric Rivers,
with the Super Duper Skate team.
That's cute. Super Duper?
-That's great.
-Yeah, it's great.
Wait.
-You're not registered.
-l'm sure we're on there.
-We're sponsored, so....
-Okay.
l'm sorry. lf you're not preregistered,
you can't skate this event. Next!
No, no. This is our first event as a team,
and we just drove all the way from Chicago.
And l basically kidnapped my best friend,
okay? And blew his only shot at college.
So if you could find some way to make
the list work, we'd be really thankful.
You know what? Tell your sob story
someplace else. We're all full up here.
Next.
Next!
Let me get in here.
l can't believe they've never heard of Super
Duper Skates. That's a freaking outrage.
All right, let's go skate the parking lot
and wait Jimmy out.
Don't be so harsh, mama.
Hook us up.
You know what?
Mama's already been hooked up.
Next.
Next.
Let's skate the lot.
Matt!
Matt!
-You all right?
-What happened?
-You all right, dude?
-What happened?
-l sprained my taint!
-Probably because you forgot to stretch.
-Listen, put some soda pop on it.
-Rub it clockwise, dude.
-What's that feel like?
-No, no, no, no.
You want a sip, man?
Can you roll off the ramp
so we can skate?
-Let me get it from behind.
-Where did my board go?
Ladies, nice balloons. Nice.
Come over here for a second. Don't be
like that. l got a little trick for you. Hey!
Girls, how are you tonight?
Do a little trick?
Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?
All right. We got this.
Like we've done it a million times.
l stepped in dog poo.
All right, hold up.
-That burns! What's that for?
-Because you need it.
Look at this line.
-What the hell is wrong with you?
-l hate clowns.
Oh, l'm sure they'll let four guys in.
Check this out.
What's up?
Watch out, son.
Yo, muscles, check it, okay?
Check the list, girl.
Don't be scared.
Come on, now, you know who we are.
Don't you know who we are? Come on!
You know who we are, right?
-What up, girls?
-Word up.
Thank you very much, mademoiselle.
All up in my business
All up in my business
Break out the Cristal, fool!
We up in here!
Eric, you're the shizit.
Check it out. lt's Brian Patch.
Hey, Bam!
Bob Burnquist!
What's up, man? Matt Jensen.
Maybe she'll clean the van, dude!
Come to papa.
Guys, come on, stay focused, all right?
Fan out, take advantage
of any opportunities, look for pros.
Oh, l'm sorry.
Brian Sumner!
What's up? How are you doing?
That's crazy.
So, what is your name?
What is it?
What's going on, baby?
What's up? You're cute.
-Yeah.
-Are you a pro skater?
l drove down from Springfield
to meet a pro skater.
-So did l.
-You're from Springfield?
No, l came here to meet
some skaters, man!
Why do l always end up talking
to the gay guy?
What?
No!
l can't even hear what you said.
What did you say?
l can hear you fine.
l'm just not listening.
Okay.
Let me just get you
another glass of bitch.
Let's go. Okay.
You're drunk.
Ladies.
What's up?
Not much.
You wanna make out?
Yeah.
Stacy, come here.
What's going on, man?
How's it going?
lt's so cool that l saw you here
because l'm trying to get sponsored...
-...and l was wondering--
-lt's not a good time.
l know. Seriously, right? l can't get anyone
to check my tape out. lt's, like, impossible.
-So how did you get started?
-l'm working on something here.
Since this is a party,
you could go work on some for yourself.
Right.
Right on. All right, no worries.
-l'm all out. You want another drink?
-Sure.
Okay.
-Hey.
-What's going on?
lt's our song, dude! Come on!
Come on, bitch.
You too. Move.
-You're doing it. Yeah.
-l don't know.
l don't wanna do it.
l don't like this song.
l don't wanna.
You know what? Shut up.
All right, come on.
Come on.
l'm going.
Come on.
Trouble in the house!
Well, at least we got to hang
at the party.
Hell, yeah, man.
Dude, where's Sweet Lou?
What are you doing?
Why--?
Why would you do--? Get off me!
-This is vacation!
-Get off me! Get off!
Why would you do that? l'm gonna vomit!
Do it again, and l'll castrate you like salami.
What are you gonna do?
-What are you gonna do?
-l swear to God!
Why would you throw out my book?
Because you can't read? lt makes you mad?
Try it again! Try it again!
What now? What now?
Guys, look, it's those whigga dicks!
Nice bunny nostril!
-What? What?
-What, dog?
What are you doing here?
-Look out!
-Damn!
Fire!
-Get me something!
-What now?
Fire in the hole!
Put that away. What you gonna do?
Taste our pain, bitches!
Yeah, bomb them with it, dog!
Yeah!
Peace out!
lt's got a pool.
And you boys said that we
wouldn't have any fun.
l'm catching hepatitis
just looking at it.
Oh, my little friend.
There's a lot of good meat on you.
l don't care how skinny you get.
l am still gonna eat you.
Excuse me.
Well, hello!
So how much for a room?
Well, it's $ an hour,
and for the whole night.
l guess that depends what you playboys
got in mind, huh?
Yeah, yeah.
You're crazy.
All right. You know what?
We'll clean your pool
if you let us crash here tonight.
Oh, yeah, my skimmer's been broken.
All right. You do the deed,
and Room is yours.
And that, my friend,
is the honeymoon suite.
This Subtitle Riped from:
www.Sub-BaBa.com
Pop the hood, man.
This is the honeymoon suite. Just--
There's only one bed,
and there's four guys.
l got it! l got it!
This is my side!
Get off me!
Manties!
What the--? What?
You did not just find these in that bed.
Yo, D.
You still pissed at me?
No, man, forget about it.
Good times.
You really think we have a chance?
l don't know, dude.
This is what l want in life.
This is what l was meant to do.
lf we focus...
...there's no reason
why we don't have a chance.
Greetings from the interior.
-Matt!
-l think l can taste that one.
Matt!
That wasn't me.
Sorry. That was me.
Can l have my underwear back?
Slug Bug!
-Butt slap.
-l was playing by the rules.
-God!
-l am so sick of this butt rock music, man.
-Don't change it.
-No! l need some beats, dude.
l'll snap your neck like a glowstick!
Nice tits. Can l squeeze them?
What the hell is this?
Are you serious?
Just listen and learn, boys.
So glad to be skating this summer, boys,
instead of McJobbing it.
Two scoops cheddar, one scoop onion,
my friend.
-Sweet Lou needs fuel.
-Right on.
What do you say, Dust?
Spot us some cash.
Listen, l already put out for gas
and put out for food...
...and l put out for porn.
You're so stingy, you punk.
Damn it! Why?
-l didn't even know l was going!
-lt's so-- l just got peed on.
All right, all right, all right.
l got a plan.
They got one of these in Colorado?
l hate Chili N Such.
All right, bro, you know the drill.
Oh, yes, l do.
Wait, what are we doing?
We don't have any cash.
Chili, chili, chili, chili.
What are you doing?
l dropped something,
and l'm looking for it.
l had curly cheese fries,
lots of them, and a shake.
Okay. Didn't your mom ever tell you
not to talk to strangers?
l guess she didn't say anything about
puking on them, though. Thank you.
Chili, chili, chili, chili....
-Hello?
-Welcome to Chili N Such.
-Can I scoop for you?
-So listen...
...l was actually by here
about an hour ago.
And we ordered Gut Bomb
Chili Surprises and five shakes.
lt's funny because when l got home,
there were actually only coffees...
-Chili.
-...in the bag.
I remember that order. Drive through,
and we'll replace it.
''Animal Chin Skate Shop.
lnternationally renowned skateboarder
Jimmy Wilson...
...discovered here, .''
Yeah, but where is Jimmy's bus?
Shouldn't there be a big crowd here?
l don't know, bro. Maybe we're early.
Let's go scope it out.
-What's up, yo?
-''What's up, yo?''
How's it going there?
-Jimmy Wilson?
-Jimmy Wilson. The demo.
Check this cut.
Excuse me!
We're here for Jimmy's demo.
Jimmy Wilson.
Do you know Jimmy?
Jimmy was gnarly.
Jimmy was....
Jimmy was Jimmy. Jimmy was...
...off the hook.
Off the hook.
You know?
Jimmy was....
Jimmy was:
-l'm sorry, did you say, ''was''?
-Did you guys see--?
Today is....
Today is Saturday. Today is Sunday.
The demo was yesterday.
-Goddamn it.
-lt happened already?
Did you guys see--?
Jimmy was, like:
Yeah, Saturday, man. Saturday.
Demo was Saturday.
-Today is Sunday. So Saturday plus a day...
-You said that.
-...is Sunday.
-lt happened already!
lt already happened.
l think you guys missed a day.
We lost a day.
Jimmy was something. He was--
He was old school.
You know what l'm saying? He was like:
That was Jimmy right there.
All right, well, what do we do?
l mean, since we're already here...
...there's not much we can do now.
So at least we can skate the lot.
You guys know Jimmy?
No. ls it cool if we just--?
Jimmy was gnarly, bro.
He was awesome, dudes.
Do you mind if we at least set
some cones up out there?
Do a little demo of our own?
You wanna skate the park?
What's up?
You.
Nice.
Dude, you're pretty badass.
-Thanks, man.
-But l could totally take you.
Dude, what grade are you in?
Seventh. l'm bitch.
And you got something to teach me?
All right, how about you talk to me
when you're out of diapers.
That kid is totally taking you.
What is he in, seventh grade?
l wonder if he's got a sister.
You wanna make out?
Yeah, sure.
-Where's the product toss?
-Where's the free stuff?
lf you losers are really sponsored,
where's the free stuff?
What do you say you and me lose
this dead weight and hit the strip clubs?
l like your style, kid. Keep it up.
-Where's the stuff?
-Lil' Bow Wow, keep barking...
-...and it's a one-way walk in the woods.
-You got jokes?
-l don't got jokes, l got threats.
-Man, give me your skateboard.
Man, give me a T-shirt!
Man, give me your shoes! Give me--
-ln your face!
-Your team sucks!
Our team doesn't suck!
What is wrong with their eyes?
ln the van! ln the van! Product toss.
Look at that, free hat.
Shirt!
Let's get out of here!
Ride my fingerboard, bitches!
All right.
Yeah, you got good hands.
Can you go deeper?
Oh, yeah, that's deep.
This is fantastic.
What about doing my glutes next?
With what, my face?
Shit.
Put some elbow into it, man.
l'll put some elbow into your face.
How we gonna get Jimmy Wilson to see us
if we can't even skate a contest?
How we gonna get girls to see us?
Have you been in a coma this entire time?
They're everywhere.
Sweet Lou is all over
this little pro chick right now.
Why does that bother you so much?
Because it's not happening to me.
lf you would change your clothes,
even one time, there might-- l don't know.
What's wrong with you?
My college fund is gutted.
Well, that's what separates the men
from the boys.
Maybe l can get my job back.
You know what, Sweet Lou?
l got a rule, man.
No more of these freaky, spazzy chicks...
...coming across state lines
with us, man.
That's what's bringing
this team vibe down!
lt's my van. lt's my rules.
And l like her.
At least there's no way in hell
that this could get any worse.
ln the name of all things holy.
Are you kidding me, man?
l'm sorry. Are you upset with the fact
that l've worked hard and saved money?
And with that money, l happened
to buy a little food for myself?
lt's bread.
No!
l said, no girls!
No! God, stop!
Damn it!
At least she left our stuff.
Touche'.
We're gonna die out here.
We have no food and no car.
Seriously, anyone,
what are we gonna do?
l thought she was a sweet girl.
That's her ass you're thinking about,
not her depraved criminal mind.
Wham, bam, steal the van.
We just need something. Some kind
of sign to tell us to keep going.
Do we? l'm sure we're gonna get a sign.
Look, Jimmy Wilson is coming over the hill
right now to give us a big deal.
There he is. Look, there's his bus,
and he's got a scholarship for me.
Oh, no, wait. That's a mirage because
we're in the middle of the desert!
-Tucson, that's where we're headed?
-Yeah.
That's good.
No one's food here!
l just had the wildest dream, man.
What are you doing?
Save me!
Look! lt's a lizard!
l just got violated by a lizard, man.
Actually, that felt kind of good.
-Somebody's coming.
-All right, you guys hang back. All right?
And hide Matt.
Come here, buddy.
-Did you just say, ''buddy''?
-Shut up.
Nice ass!
Hey.
l'm on my way to Tucson. Climb in.
What's up?
Hi. How are you?
Real good.
Sweet Lou!
Nice catch, man.
All right, l'll check you guys later.
-That ain't gonna happen.
-What?
Come on. Do you work out?
Can we sit down and talk about it?
-Bam! Bam!
-What's up?
What's going on? Remember me from...?
-The skate shop, right?
-Skate shop. Exactly.
-He's with me.
-l'm with him.
So how's everything going?
Yeah, really good.
So this is crazy, huh?
Yeah, it is pretty insane.
l know your schedule and everything
like that has gotta be pretty nuts...
...but if you have five minutes,
could you just check this out?
lt's a tape we put together.
Could you pass it on to Jimmy?
l got so much shit on my plate,
the last thing l need now...
...is looking at some random
''sponsor me'' tape.
-Sorry about that.
-That's cool. l figured l'd give it a shot.
Give me the tape. Of course l'll watch it.
l'm not that big of a dick.
-Thanks. That's great.
-Cool.
You talking shit about me?
Jamie, do you really wanna
do this now?
Have the balls to say it to my face.
Okay, l'm saying it to your face.
l don't want you here.
Okay? The last thing
l need on this tour...
...is some haggard-ass
chick lurking around.
Just take it easy, man.
What? You serious?
Yeah, relax. l mean, she doesn't
need you insulting her.
lf you wanted me to watch your tape,
you pretty much ruined that. So....
Thanks.
Hey, so, that was pretty harsh, huh?
l think l can take care of myself.
No, l figured that.
l mean, l can tell, but....
You know, everybody could use
a little backup once in a while.
Wanna get out of here?
You serious?
l don't think anybody is home.
Let's just get in
and out real fast, okay?
Hello?
-Anybody home?
-Hey, Matt, don't touch anything, okay?
Mirrored ceilings.
We got this place to ourselves, man.
Oh, black leather.
That's just how Snoop would do it.
-Oh, come on.
-Good.
Hey, ladies...
...l'm Jimmy Wilson.
Tonight you're gonna be my love slaves.
There it is.
Stop it for five seconds. All right, Jimbo,
just gonna bust a little switcheroo.
You hit play, you're gonna enjoy
the Super Duper team demo.
l've been holding it for two days.
lt's about to go downtown.
Good idea. Take a crap on his bus.
He would appreciate that.
l got it. Let's go.
All right, dude, let's go.
l did it. Let's go.
Dude.
l might not get a piece of Jimmy Wilson,
but he got a piece of me.
That smells like hermit craps.
That was amazing, Jimmy!
l've been waiting two years
to pull that trick.
-We got it on footage, check it out.
-Let's see it.
Oh, no. What the hell?
Tell me that's not
your only copy of the tape.
Somebody broke the tour rule.
l'll fix this. Let's get out of here.
Who did number two on the bus, man?
How many times do l have to tell them?
No going number two on my bus!
So basically...
...we've been following the Jimmy Wilson
Tour all over the country.
That's insane.
Yeah. lt sucks.
l had this whole thing planned out.
All we had to do, get in front of him,
and it was so easy.
He just had to see us skate,
and he'd pick us up.
But...
...of course, we found a way
to screw everything up...
...and the whole thing
has turned into a disaster.
You can't argue with talent. So...
...just keep skating,
and someone will find you.
-l know about these things.
-You must.
l guess, by the way things went down,
you guys have been hooking up for a while.
You think l'm into Bam
because he's on tour?
l don't know. l thought that's
how things went around here.
Everyone hung out with the pros
and did their thing.
-Tour slut at your service.
-No!
l didn't-- l really didn't
mean it like that. l....
lt's just, you know, you're super cute.
l'd throw myself under
the wheels of Jimmy's bus...
...to get a chance to be
with a girl like you.
You're sick! You're sick!
That's sick!
l know you.
We got on Jimmy Wilson's bus,
and Matt took a big crap on it.
l don't know if it was the stroganoff
or what, but l was like--
Stop. Wonderful.
These are my friends by default and not
by choice, and we're leaving right now.
All right. See you.
-Bye, friends.
-Sometimes Eric looks like He-Man.
So, what's up?
Let's go.
Excuse me, sorry.
l got a code brown to
wrestle down to the ground.
Oh, my God!
There she is, boys.
What do we do now, man?
l don't know, dude.
Look at this guy.
ls this guy gonna stop?
Shit!
God, jackass!
Man, those things are awesome.
He's not playing piano anytime soon, man.
Guys, come on. Come on, come on!
Go, go, go, go, go!
Come on!
Kick the thing! Come on!
Hey, you all right?
-They didn't see it.
-But l sure did.
l'm sick and tired of you punks thinking you
can skate wherever the hell you feel like.
Sir, we're at a skate demo.
Smart-ass.
You know, l could have
you guys arrested.
Come here.
But for once, l'm gonna have you skaters
take care of your own mess.
Sweet Lou cleans no man's poop.
Have fun, girls.
So to recap...
...we smell like turds, we have no car,
no Jimmy Wilson...
...and l'm broke. Call me stupid.
-Hey, stupid.
-What?
Don't worry about it, man.
This is the part where
Eric Rivers jumps up...
...and angels descend from heaven,
sustaining one long note...
-...and he says, ''Team meeting.''
-Does he have a plan? l bet he does.
He has a plan, so we all run
over there, and he goes:
''This is our last shot.''
lt's over.
What? Wait, he's giving up?
What the hell else you want me to do?
l'm fricking one step away
from being somebody's stalker.
You guys should have just stayed home,
not listened to a word l said.
My fault.
Let's get one thing straight here.
l followed you here because you got balls.
And because Sandy's dad
was about to rip mine off, but....
Seriously. lf it wasn't for you,
we'd still be at home.
-l'd still be on your couch.
-Don't push me!
Hey, man, l'm trying to tell you
we're having fun, bro.
For real, man. We're on an adventure.
No. No, we're on a train wreck.
This is a revolving nightmare.
No, a revolving nightmare
is us still in Chicago...
...not trying to do anything
with our lives.
Let me tell you something. The $ .
l've spent since l've been here...
...worth it.
-You have that down to an exact--?
-Yes, worth it. Every penny.
Look at us, man.
We're not losers anymore, man.
We're a team.
We're Super Duper.
Fucking assholes.
Come on, don't be sad.
-Hey!
-Hey, what's going on?
You might want to stand
back about feet.
Yeah, look, l'm a little ripe right now.
So listen, are you guys going
up to Santa Monica?
No, we weren't going to.
What's going on there?
lt's the Pro Jam. lf you're pro
or sponsored, you can skate.
Really?
l could try to help you guys out.
Maybe go with you?
All right. That would be great.
Come here, team meeting. Excuse us.
What's up?
Give me five seconds. What?
ln the name of all things holy, please.
You feel this vibe? You feel the pulse?
How we're all sharing one heartbeat,
like a herd of elk?
We finally accumulated something
of a team vibe over there. Do not ruin it.
You don't wanna bring a girl?
No, man! Where's the van, dude?
They're all cute, and...
...the horns come out. No!
Rules are rules.
But where's the van? Where's our car?
Maybe she has a car.
She's a good girl. Trust her.
-She's sexy.
-Guys. l'm right here. l can hear you.
Hi.
lt's cool. l mean, whatever.
Just do your thing.
Seriously, l don't want to interrupt
your team vibe.
But you're not. That's the thing.
No, l get it. l totally-- l get it.
lt's no big deal.
l hope l see you guys at the beach.
See you.
Jamie, it's nothing personal.
-lt's just rules.
-You are such a dumb-ass.
l'm so hungry, one of my ribs
is poking through the skin.
l would literally kill
for a night in a real bed.
Look who's got a nice, comfy SUV?
A nice ''suv.''
What do we do now, Matt?
lt's time to meet the clowns, man.
Guys, what are we doing
in a clown college?
Matty!
-Hey, Mom.
-We missed the hell out of you!
Those are Matt's parents?
They really are clowns.
You reek!
Hey, Dad.
Matt?
-What's up?
-You smell funky.
Wait, don't tell me. Give me a second.
l'm really good at this.
l'm covered in shit.
Now, why the sudden visit?
Why haven't you called?
l don't know.
l guess l'm still kind of bitter...
...from when you guys abandoned me
my senior year in high school...
...and ran off to join a circus.
l see.
-l'm sorry.
-No, we're sorry, son.
We're sorry we tried to push
you through clown college.
Sorry about a lot of other things.
There's more to life than a pie
in the face for you, and we accept that.
l've been so pissed off at you for running
off and getting into this whole clown thing.
But l think l get it now.
You guys are just trying
to make yourselves happy.
There are things in life
that just aren't that easy.
But the important thing is,
you're out there trying.
You're a man now.
We're proud of you.
l love you, Dad.
l got him!
What's up?
Bang.
l can't believe you're Matt's sister.
Me either.
So you want to...?
''You want to...?''
Do you wanna learn how to throw a pie?
Bet you never turn down pie.
Oh, no.
Nice.
Matt, you look different.
Looking good, stud. l see you've taken
a lesson from the Sweet Lou.
Thought l'd clean up a little bit.
Welcome to the human race, my friend.
l think you'll like it here.
Thank you, guys,
for letting us crash here...
...and eat your food...
...and the clothes
and letting us take a shower.
And thanks for the truck.
We're always here for you, son.
-l love you, Dad.
-l love you too, son.
-Okay.
-l love you, Mom.
Matt!
Mom.
l'm not gonna be needing these.
You can't blame a mom for trying.
Bye!
Great.
Yo, check it out.
-Oh, no you didn't.
-Hell, no.
Get out of my business
before we bust a cap in your ass, fool.
Yo, this is a professional
skateboarding event, dog.
-lt don't include you.
-You wanna step, bee-yatch?
Let me tell you how we do it.
-Keep it rolling, crackers.
-Keep going.
-Super Duper bitches!
-Keep walking!
-All right, get me a kid.
-Okay.
-Wait, what?
-Just get me a kid.
Hey. Eric Rivers.
Yeah, and this is little Timmy
from Create-A-Wish Foundation.
He wants to see us skate
before his head explodes.
l'm not a little kid!
Come on, guys. You know you can't
skate unless you're preregistered.
Which...
...you are.
Here you go.
lt worked?
Dude, that's her!
You go, girl!
She's bad!
Let's hear it for the Dream Team!
Give it up!
So l put you and your friends on the list.
Figured if you could get out here...
...you shouldn't be stopped
by paperwork.
l think l love you.
You don't have a problem
with chick skaters?
No. Why? Should l?
You shouldn't.
l'm sorry about everything. About....
l was so caught up in my own trip...
...l totally didn't see you
for who you were.
Who am l to you?
l don't know.
But...
...l really want to find out.
Find out.
Yeah?
We're up next.
This is it.
No matter what happens,
l'm so glad that you guys stuck with me.
-l'm glad we did this together.
-We've had a ride, all right.
Bro, you got me out of your garage...
...talking to the clowns,
chicks are starting to look at me.
That's because you don't smell
like anus anymore.
l'm pissed that l'm broke,
but it was worth the money to be here.
Even if we choke out there.
l love you, Eric.
Why did you do that?
l'm psyching you up, dude!
Could you psych me up
a little softer next time?
Sweet Lou. My sister wanted
me to give you this. lt's her nose.
All right, boys. Get on it.
Santa Monica, it is time to get busy...
...because next up, we have four cats
that you might not have heard of.
They are Eric Rivers, Dustin Knight,
Matt Jensen and Sweet Lou Singer.
lf you haven't heard of these kids,
guess what. We are all in the same boat.
But they are here,
they're ready to get busy.
They're representing Super Duper
Skateboards. Let's take it to the street.
Oh, God. What's up?
Just keeping an eye out
for something special.
-See something you like?
-Maybe.
Oh, my God!
What's up, dog?
Didn't l tell you to break out, fool?
l just don't like you, fool. Bounce.
You know what?
-What?
-You and me.
-Oh, hells yeah!
-Get him, dog!
He's gonna hand you your ass, punk.
You gonna take that side? All right.
-Eric!
-Go, Eric!
l've never seen anything like that.
Seriously, your batwing,
dude, that was....
Yo, dog, l always be up in your business,
but, you know....
That was tight, dude! You crazy, dog!
-Hey, sorry about what l said.
-That's all right.
Hey, s on me, everybody!
Yo, but we're still taking your girl.
-That's not gonna happen.
-Take her, dude.
All right, man. Hey, peace.
-Peace out.
-See you guys.
Seriously...
-...that was awesome!
-Thank you.
l've never seen skating like that. Hey!
-That counts for something.
-Hell, yeah, it does.
By the way, guys,
l think l'm done playing the field.
-Yeah, right.
-No, Sweet Lou's in love.
lt's crazy, l know. They're clowns.
You were so good! l didn't know
you could skateboard like that.
You're all really great.
Hey, l don't think Jimmy saw us.
Sorry, man.
l gotta get back to my dad's shop
and mix some paint.
Have you talked to Jamie lately?
Yeah, l got ahold of her last weekend.
She was up in Toronto somewhere.
lt's so freaking hard to track her down
when she's here, there and everywhere.
Dude, Sweet Lou called me yesterday.
No way! How is he liking the circus?
He's loving the circus.
l can't believe that dude's
in the circus with my sister.
He's pulling her finger as we speak.
Seriously, you can't say
this wasn't a good summer.
Dude, l mean, we tried, and that's
more than most people can say.
No way!
Hey, guys. We've been looking
everywhere for you.
l brought someone
who wants to meet you.
So l saw this tape on my bus...
...and Jamie sat me down
and made me watch it.
You pulled some sick stuff
in Santa Monica.
He found a tape on the bus.
What do you know?
Would you like to join me on tour?
What?
Yes, we will. Yeah.
-Let's go.
-Let's do it, man!
So....
-What's up?
-Find out.
Rivers, seriously, please,
while we're young.
l know your board is all cracked up,
but you've gotta start spending money.
Because money-spending is good.
-Eric!
-Good to see you, bro.
-Big love.
-You too.
l'm gonna need a bunch of my decks.
-Yeah, l could do that.
-Cool.
Dude, it's Eric Rivers, here in person.
-''Rivers.''
-Cool, dude.
l saw your demo down in Springfield.
You're awesome.
-Cool, thanks. You got a pen, real quick?
-Yeah.
Cool.
Your board is pretty thrashed.
There you go. Thanks, Greg.
We're the dopest shit in the movie.
Ladies.
l really....
All right, real quick.
See you in the bean suit.
Dude, l'm dropping pebbles.
Here we go. And action!
Cut!
-Can l make a suggestion?
-Yeah.
Why don't you direct your way
to the s.
We gotta redo that.
How's Mountain Gleebin
and Globin?
Casey La Scala
Just for a dollar
How big you want me to go?
Cut.
l didn't recognize you in the bright lights.
Oh, crikey.
She sure was a slippery one.
Sweet Lou!
You think we're gonna have
a sequel, or what?
l heard you're not in it,
so l don't know, l can't talk about it.
Peace out!