Ta da! The Gypsy transcript is here for all you fans of movie musicals. The entire dialogue script, all the quotes, the songs, the whole shebang. I know, I know, I still need to get the character names in there...I'm workin' on it, trust me. If you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.
BETTE MIDLER GYPSY
[ORCHESTRA WARMING UP]
EVERYBODY, SHUT UP!
ALL MOTHERS, OUT!
GEORGIE, I DON'T WANT THEM
IN THE THEATRE.
IT'S A PLEASURE.
O.K., MOTHERS!
MOVE!
OUT!
AHA!
ALL RIGHT, KIDS!
LET'S GET IN
A STRAIGHT LINE.
COME ON, HERE.
COME FORWARD
ONE AT A TIME.
THE DOORS OPEN AT 7:00,
AND UNCLE JOCKO
DOESN'T HAVE TIME
TO REHEARSE
EACH OF YOUR DARLING ACTS.
YOU! WAIT RIGHT HERE,
GIRLY-GIRL.
GUS! HIT THIS DOLL
WITH A SURPRISE PINK
WHEN SHE
DOES HER TURN.
UNCLE JOCKO PROMISED
THE WEE BAIRN
WOULD BE A WINNER,
AND SHE WILL.
CHIP OFF
HER SISTER'S BLOCK.
YOU OUGHT TO SEE
THEM BALLOONS.
O.K.
WHO'S THE FIRST
IN UNCLE JOCKO'S
KIDDIE SHOW TODAY?
EACH FROM THE TOP,
THEN CUT TO
THE LAST EIGHT.
EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT...
" YA-DA-DA-DA
DA-DA-DA-DA-DA ""
THERE ARE SO MANY
TALENTED BAIRNS
HERE IN SEATTLE--
AND THAT CRAP.
[SNAPS FINGERS]
"CLARENCE AND
HIS CLASSIC CLARINET."
[PLAYING OFF-KEY]
GEORGIE,
THAT'S WHAT'S GOING
TO KILL VAUDEVILLE.
O.K., CLARENCE,
CUT TO THE END.
THE END, KIDDO.
THE END, PROFESSOR.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYS A FANFARE]
AND WHO DOES UNCLE JOCKO
HAVE HERE?
WHO THE HELL
DOES HE HAVE HERE?
BABY JUNE AND COMPANY?
HALF THE SONG,
HALF THE DANCE, AND OUT.
GOTCHA.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
" MAY WE
ENTERTAIN YOU? "
" MAY WE SEE YOU
SMILE? "
" I WILL DO
SOME KICKS "
OH!
" I WILL DO
SOME TRICKS "
[WOMAN]
SING OUT, LOUISE!
SING OUT!
WHO SAID THAT?
" ...STORY "
" I'LL DANCE
WHEN SHE'S DONE ""
YOU'RE BEHIND, LOUISE!
CATCH UP, BABY!
WHO LET IN
ONE OF THEIR MOTHERS?
HOLD IT, PLEASE!
HOLD IT!
SAVE YOUR STRENGTH, JUNE.
LOUISE, DEAR,
IF YOU DON'T COUNT--
MADAME, DO YOU
REALIZE YOU ARE--
TO SAVE YOUR VALUABLE TIME,
WHEN I SAW YOUR FACE
AT ODD FELLOWS HALL--
MY FIRST HUSBAND WAS ONE.
I AM NOT
AN ODD FELLOW.
KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS--
MY SECOND HUSBAND.
I CAUGHT YOUR ACT
AT THE ELKS.
MY FATHER IS AN ELK!
I HAVE HIS TOOTH
IN HERE.
JUST HOLD
CHOWSIE FOR ME.
LOUISE, STOP
SUCKING YOUR THUMB.
PROFESSOR,
I JUST MARVEL
HOW YOU CAN
MAKE A PERFORMER
INTO AN ARTISTE.
GIVE MY GIRLS
A GOOD LOUD--
" DEE-DEE-DA
DA-DA-DA ""
[JOCKO]
WHAT'S GOING ON?
GOD HELPS HIM
WHO HELPS HIMSELF.
OH, MR. ZIPSER.
WHEN THE GIRLS
DO THEIR SPECIALTY,
COULD YOU
AD LICK IT?
[DRUM ROLL]
GUS, PLEASE
SLAP BABY JUNE
WITH SOMETHING PINK.
SHE'S THE STAR.
SMILE, BABY DEAR.
I HAVE SEEN ALL KINDS
OF MOTHERS--
DO YOU KNOW AN AGENT
WHO COULD BOOK
A PROFESSIONAL
ACT LIKE OURS?
PROFESSIONAL?
GET A LOAD OF THIS--
DON'T YOU
DARE LAUGH!
THAT CHILD IS GOING
TO BE A STAR.
THAT'S WHAT
THEY ALL SAY.
BUT WE'RE NOT FINISHED.
YOU ARE, TOO.
BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING
TO PLAY FAVORITES.
THAT FAT BALLOON
BLOCKS UP MY BABIES!
I WON'T LEAVE
TILL SHE DOES.
WHERE'S YOUR LOYALTY
TO THE ELKS?
I'M NOT AN ELK!
WELL, THE EDITOR
OF THE GAZETTE IS
BECAUSE
THE LAST MEETING,
HE SHOWED MY FATHER
A LETTER HE GOT
COMPLAINING
THAT SOME CONTEST
WAS FIXED.
[SNAPS FINGERS]
[SNAP]
" DA-DA-DEE
DA-DA-DA "
[ORCHESTRA PLAYS]
" MAY WE ENTERTAIN YOU? "
" MAY WE
SEE YOU SMILE? ""
THANK YOU,
PROFESSOR.
THANK YOU,
UNCLE JOCKO.
[DOG BARKS]
THANK YOU, GUS.
THANK YOU,
MR. ZIPSER.
SMILE!
[BALLOONS POPPING]
HOW DO YOU
LIKE THAT?
THAT ROTTEN LITTLE
UNCLE JOCKO!
HE'S AS CHEAP
AS YOUR GRANDPA.
10 BUCKS FOR
A TALENT LIKE YOURS!
WE'RE THROUGH
WITH KIDDIE SHOWS
AND WITH YOUR GRANDPA'S
LODGE HALL.
TIME WE WERE
MOVING ON, ANYWAY.
I'LL HAVE AN AGENT
BOOK THE ACT
ON THE ORPHEUM CIRCUIT.
THAT'S DOG FOOD, MAMMA.
SO HE THINKS.
I'M HUNGRY.
WHY DIDN'T YOU EAT
SOME OF OUR CHOW MEIN?
WE'VE GOT TO
SAVE EVERY CENT.
LAST NIGHT, I DREAMT
A NEW ACT FOR YOU--
"BABY JUNE
AND HER NEWSBOYS."
BOYS?
LOUISE CAN BE A BOY.
I'LL FIND THREE OTHERS.
EXPERIENCE
WILL BE THEIR PAY.
IF I SQUEEZE
A LITTLE MORE
OUT OF GRANDPA,
WE CAN HIT
LOS ANGELES.
GOOD NIGHT, MAMMA.
[GLUMLY]
GOOD NIGHT, GRANDPA.
YOU OUGHT TO BE
ASHAMED,
FOOLING YOUR KIDS
WITH DREAMS.
I'M GOING TO
MAKE THEM COME REAL.
ROSE, GOD PUT YOU
DOWN HERE
BECAUSE HE MEANT YOU
TO STAY HERE.
GOD'S LIKE ME, POP.
WE BOTH NEED
OUTSIDE ASSISTANCE.
YOU'VE SQUEEZED
YOUR LAST PENNY
OUT OF ME.
IT'S FOR MY GIRLS.
IT'S TOO LATE
FOR ME.
GET A HUSBAND
TO SUPPORT YOU.
AFTER THREE HUSBANDS,
I WANT TO ENJOY MYSELF.
I WANT THE GIRLS
TO TRAVEL, LIKE MAMMA.
AND YOU'LL
LEAVE THEM
JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER
LEFT YOU.
NEVER.
AREN'T YOU READY
FOR BED, LOUISE?
JUNE SAYS SHE'S
SLEEPING WITH YOU.
SHE'S HIGH-STRUNG
AFTER A PERFORMANCE.
I PERFORMED.
IT AIN'T THE SAME.
NOW, GO TO BED.
GOOD NIGHT,
GRANDPA.
GOOD NIGHT, LOUISE.
YOU'RE A GOOD GIRL.
YOU ARE
A GOOD GIRL,
AND I WAS PROUD
OF YOU TONIGHT.
MAMMA, HOW COME
I HAVE THREE FATHERS?
BECAUSE YOU WERE
BORN WITH A CAUL.
THAT MEANS
YOU HAVE THE POWER
TO READ PALMS,
AND WONDERFUL THINGS
WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.
WHY DO YOU FILL HER
WITH SUCH BUNK?
IT AIN'T BUNK.
NOTHING WONDERFUL'S
GOING TO HAPPEN.
MAYBE NOT TO ME,
BUT I'LL BE DAMNED
IF THEY'LL SIT
THEIR LIVES AWAY
LIKE WE DID--
WITH THAT ROTTEN
RAILROAD COMPANY PLAQUE
THAT SAYS,
"CONGRATULATIONS.
FOR 50 YEARS,
YOU DID THE SAME
DULL THING EVERY DAY."
THAT PLAQUE
IS A GREAT TRIBUTE.
IT'S SOLID GOLD!
WHAT COULD YOU
GET FOR IT?
WHAT GOOD'S
IT DOING THERE?
THAT PLAQUE BELONGS THERE
LIKE YOU BELONG HOME!
ANYBODY THAT
STAYS HOME IS DEAD!
IF I DIE, IT WILL BE
FROM FIGHTING
TO GET UP AND OUT!
" SOME PEOPLE
CAN GET A THRILL "
" KNITTING SWEATERS
AND SITTING STILL "
" THAT'S O.K.
FOR SOME PEOPLE "
" WHO DON'T KNOW
THEY'RE ALIVE "
" SOME PEOPLE
CAN THRIVE AND BLOOM "
" LIVING LIFE
IN THE LIVING ROOM "
" THAT'S PERFECT
FOR SOME PEOPLE "
" OF 105 "
" BUT I "
" AT LEAST
GOT TO TRY "
" WHEN I THINK "
" OF ALL THE SIGHTS
THAT I GOT TO SEE "
" AND ALL THE PLACES
I GOT TO PLAY "
" ALL THE THINGS
THAT I GOT TO BE YET "
" COME ON, PAPA,
WHAT DO YOU SAY? "
" SOME PEOPLE
CAN BE CONTENT "
" PLAYING BINGO
AND PAYING RENT "
" THAT'S PEACHY
FOR SOME PEOPLE "
" FOR SOME "
" HUM "
" DRUM "
" PEOPLE TO BE "
" BUT SOME PEOPLE
AIN'T ME "
" I HAD A DREAM "
" A WONDERFUL DREAM,
PAPA "
" ALL ABOUT JUNE
IN THE ORPHEUM CIRCUIT "
" GIMME A CHANCE,
AND I KNOW I CAN WORK IT "
" I HAD A DREAM "
" JUST AS REAL
AS CAN BE, PAPA "
" THERE I WAS
IN MR. ORPHEUM'S OFFICE "
" AND HE WAS SAYING TO ME "
" "ROSE" "
" "GET YOURSELF
SOME NEW ORCHESTRATIONS" "
" "NEW ROUTINES
AND RED VELVET CURTAINS" "
" "GET A FEATHERED HAT
FOR THE BABY" "
" "PHOTOGRAPHS
IN FRONT OF THE THEATRE" "
" "GET AN AGENT,
AND IN JIG TIME" "
" "YOU'LL BE BEING
BOOKED IN THE BIG TIME" "
" OH, WHAT A DREAM "
" A WONDERFUL DREAM,
PAPA "
" AND ALL THAT I NEED
IS 88 BUCKS, PAPA "
" THAT'S WHAT HE SAID, PAPA "
" ONLY 88 BUCKS "
YOU AIN'T GETTING
88 CENTS FROM ME, ROSE.
WELL, I'LL GET IT
SOMEPLACE ELSE,
BUT I'LL GET IT
AND GET MY KIDS OUT!
" GOOD-BYE "
" TO BLUEBERRY PIE "
" GOOD RIDDANCE "
" TO ALL THE SOCIALS
I HAD TO GO TO "
" ALL THE LODGES
I HAD TO PLAY "
" ALL THE SHRINERS
I SAID HELLO TO "
" HEY, L.A.,
I'M COMING YOUR WAY "
" SOME PEOPLE
SIT ON THEIR BUTTS "
" GOT THE DREAM, YEAH,
BUT NOT THE GUTS "
" THAT'S LIVING
FOR SOME PEOPLE "
" FOR SOME "
" HUM "
" DRUM "
" PEOPLE, I SUPPOSE "
" WELL, THEY CAN STAY
AND ROT "
" BUT NOT ROSE ""
NO, MADAME ROSE!
MR. WEBER, YOUR BUSINESS
IS SLIPPING.
YOU NEED YOUTH--
FRESH YOUNG TALENT!
I TOLD YOU THIS MORNING,
AND I'M TELLING YOU NOW--
IF THERE'S ANYTHING
I HATE WORSE THAN KIDS,
IT'S KIDS ONSTAGE!
SHH!
CHILDREN,
GO PLAY IN THE ALLEY.
MR. WEBER, THAT WAS
A ROTTEN REMARK.
A GENTLEMAN
WOULD APOLOGIZE
AND BOOK MY ACT.
I AM NOT A GENTLEMAN.
DEEP DOWN YOU ARE!
HERBIE, YOUR OPINION
OF THE SHOW.
DOUBLE YOUR
CRACKERJACK ORDER.
THAT BAD?
EXCEPT FOR
A COUPLE OF ACTS.
YOU LEFT ME
IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE.
YOU'RE ALWAYS
IN THE MIDDLE
OF A SENTENCE.
CONSIDERING WHAT
THIS INTELLIGENT
GENTLEMAN SAYS,
YOU COULD
TRY MY ACT.
COULDN'T HE?
YEAH.
YOU COULD, ED.
WHAT?
IT'S A FAMILY AUDIENCE.
THEY LOVE KIDS.
MINE ARE GREAT!
THEY SURE ARE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
I'VE SEEN 'EM...
IN SEATTLE.
IT WOULD GIVE YOUR SHOW
A LIFT, ED.
WELL...
LISTEN!
STOP PUSHING!
LET ME THINK IT OVER.
IT'S HARD FOR ME
TO SAY THANKS.
YOU JUST SAID IT.
WHY'D HE LISTEN
TO YOU?
EVERYBODY IN SHOW BUSINESS
LISTENS TO ANYBODY.
BESIDES,
I'VE BOOKED ACTS HERE.
ARE YOU AN AGENT?
I WAS, BUT I'M
IN THE CANDY BUSINESS NOW.
HOW COULD YOU EVER
LEAVE SHOW BUSINESS?
WHEN ACTS HAD
TOO LITTLE TALENT,
I GOT ULCERS.
YOU'RE TOO
SYMPATHETIC.
ALSO, I WENT BUST
GIVING THEM MY COMMISSION
AND CALLING IT THEIR RAISE.
CHARITY BEGINS
AT HOME.
I DON'T HAVE A HOME.
YOU'RE NOT MARRIED?
I HAD FIVE SISTERS.
THE UGLY ONE
DIDN'T GET MARRIED
UNTIL A YEAR AGO.
WHY DID YOU
HELP ME JUST NOW?
I LOVE KIDS.
OH.
ALSO...
I'VE SEEN YOU BEFORE.
WHERE?
WAITING OUTSIDE
WEBER'S OFFICE,
LIKE A PIONEER WOMAN
WITHOUT A FRONTIER.
HMM.
I, UH,
DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU'D CONSIDER BEING
AN AGENT AGAIN.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER
MARRYING AGAIN?
HOW DO YOU KNOW
I'M NOT MARRIED NOW?
I ASKED YOUR KIDS.
AFTER
THREE HUSBANDS,
IT TAKES
A LOT OF BUTTER
TO GET YOU BACK
IN THE FRYING PAN.
AFTER 20 YEARS
IN SHOW BUSINESS,
YOU BREATHE BETTER
IN THE REAL WORLD.
FUNNY.
WHAT?
US.
I LIKE YOU,
BUT I DON'T
WANT MARRIAGE.
YOU LIKE ME,
BUT YOU DON'T
WANT SHOW BUSINESS.
THAT SEEMS TO
LEAVE YOU THERE
AND ME HERE.
IT'S HOW
YOU LOOK AT IT.
YOU LOOK AT WHAT
WE DON'T HAVE.
I LOOK AT WHAT
WE DO HAVE.
" FUNNY "
" YOU'RE A STRANGER
WHO'S COME HERE "
" COME FROM
ANOTHER TOWN "
" FUNNY "
" I'M A STRANGER
MYSELF HERE "
" SMALL WORLD "
" ISN'T IT? "
" FUNNY "
" YOU'RE A MAN
WHO GOES TRAVELING "
" RATHER THAN
SETTLING DOWN "
" FUNNY "
" BECAUSE I'D LOVE
TO GO TRAVELING "
" SMALL WORLD "
" ISN'T IT? "
" WE HAVE "
" SO MUCH IN COMMON "
" IT'S A PHENOMENON "
" WE COULD "
" POOL OUR RESOURCES "
" BY JOINING FORCES
FROM NOW ON "
" LUCKY "
" YOU'RE A MAN
WHO LIKES CHILDREN "
" THAT'S
AN IMPORTANT SIGN "
" LUCKY "
" I'M A WOMAN
WITH CHILDREN "
" SMALL WORLD "
" ISN'T IT? "
" FUNNY "
" ISN'T IT? "
" SMALL "
" AND FUNNY "
" AND FINE "
WELL, I'M NOT
PAYING THEM MUCH MONEY.
TALK ABOUT MONEY
TO HERBIE.
ARE YOU HANDLING
HER ACT?
NO. I CAN'T...
I CAN'T...
YEAH, I GUESS
I AM.
I'LL BE
IN THE OFFICE.
" WE HAVE "
" SO MUCH IN COMMON "
" IT'S A PHENOMENON "
" WE COULD "
" POOL OUR RESOURCES "
" BY JOINING FORCES
FROM NOW ON "
ROSE, IS THIS ACT
OF YOURS ANY GOOD?
GOOD? IT'S GREAT!
AND JUNE
IS SENSATIONAL!
WAIT TILL
YOU SEE IT.
" LUCKY "
" YOU'RE A MAN
WHO LIKES CHILDREN "
" THAT'S AN IMPORTANT
SIGN "
" LUCKY "
" YOU'RE A "
" WOMAN WITH CHILDREN "
" SMALL WORLD "
" ISN'T IT? "
" FUNNY "
" ISN'T IT? "
" ISN'T IT? "
" SMALL "
" AND FUNNY "
" AND "
" FINE ""
EXTRA!
" EXTRA! EXTRA!
HEY, LOOK AT THE HEADLINE "
" HISTORICAL NEWS
IS BEING MADE "
" EXTRA! EXTRA!
THEY'RE DRAWING A RED LINE "
" AROUND THE BIGGEST SCOOP
OF THE DECADE "
" A BARREL OF CHARM "
" A FABULOUS THRILL "
" THE BIGGEST LITTLE HEADLINE
IN VAUDEVILLE ""
PRESENTING...
IN PERSON...
THAT 3' 3"
BUNDLE OF DYNAMITE...
BABY...
JUNE!
[APPLAUSE]
HELLO, EVERYBODY.
MY NAME IS JUNE.
WHAT'S YOURS?
" LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU "
" LET ME MAKE YOU SMILE "
" LET ME DO A FEW TRICKS "
" SOME OLD AND THEN
SOME NEW TRICKS "
" I'M VERY VERSATILE "
" AND IF YOU'RE REAL GOOD "
" I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD "
" I WANT YOUR SPIRITS
TO CLIMB "
" SO LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU "
OH!
" AND WE'LL HAVE
A REAL GOOD TIME, YES, SIR! "
" WE'LL HAVE "
" A REAL GOOD "
" TIME ""
[APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC RESUMES]
[APPLAUSE]
OH!
OH!
O.K., NOW.
GO AHEAD.
[SIGH]
AHH!
WHEW!
THANK YOU SO MUCH,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
YOU'RE VERY KIND!
[VIOLIN PLAYS]
YOU KNOW, EVERYONE HAS
SOMEONE TO THANK
FOR THEIR SUCCESS.
USUALLY IT'S THEIR MOTHER,
AND SOMETIMES IT'S THEIR FATHER,
BUT TONIGHT,
I WOULD LIKE YOU ALL
TO JOIN ME
IN GIVING THANKS
TO AN UNCLE OF MINE
AND AN UNCLE OF YOURS!
THE GREATEST UNCLE
OF THEM ALL...
OUR UNCLE SAM!
[ORCHESTRA PLAYS MARTIAL MUSIC]
[APPLAUSE]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[ORCHESTRA PLAYS
ANCHORS AWEIGH]
YA!
[THE CAISSONS GO ROLLING ALONG]
YA!
[THE MARINE'S HYMN]
YA!
[YANKEE DOODLE]
[THE STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER]
[APPLAUSE]
[APPLAUSE]
BRAVO!
MR. CONDUCTOR,
IF YOU PLEASE!
[THE STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER
PLAYED SLOWLY]
[MUSIC SPEEDS UP]
WHOO!
[APPLAUSE]
[APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC RESUMES]
OH!
OH!
[ALARM RINGING]
[TURNS OFF ALARM]
[TURNS ON ALARM]
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE UP,
MADAME ROSE.
IT AIN'T EVEN
10:00 YET.
LOUISE!
LOUISE!
TURN IF OFF,
LOUISE.
[TURNS OFF ALARM]
I WAS HAVING
THE LOVELIEST DREAM
ABOUT A SPECIAL DAY.
MY DREAM BOOK
SAYS THAT--
WE WANT TO SLEEP!
I JUST WANTED
TO SAY--
SHH!
SHH!
SHH!
HOW CAN YOU SLEEP
ON SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
YOU WOKE UP
MOTHER.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO.
IT'S JUST THAT TODAY
IS MY...YOU KNOW.
TODAY IS THE ONE DAY
WHEN WE DON'T HAVE TO
TRAVEL OR REHEARSE.
WHICH MEANS
WE COULD SLEEP.
IS MAMMA MAD?
SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM
MAKING COFFEE.
SHE SAYS AS LONG
AS SHE'S UP,
EVERYBODY
COME HAVE BREAKFAST.
THANKS A LOT,
LOUISE.
WELL, I SAID
I'M SORRY.
MAMMA?
MAMMA?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
SURPRISE!
SURPRISE!
SURPRISE!
" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU "
" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU "
" HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
DEAR LOUISE "
" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO... "
" YOU ""
YAY!
YAY!
YAY!
MAKE A WISH!
I WISH...
OH, MAMMA, I WISH--
THAT ROTTEN MONKEY
ATE A PIECE!
GIGOLO!
BAD, GIGOLO!
BAD, BAD!
[GIGOLO CHATTERS]
MAKE A WISH.
ONE, TWO, THREE!
I WISH--
SAY, THAT WOULD MAKE
A GOOD COAT!
YAY!
YAY!
HEY, THERE'S ONLY
10 CANDLES.
SO? YOU'RE NOT
EATING CANDLES.
SHE ONLY HAD 10
LAST YEAR.
AND THE YEAR
BEFORE THAT.
STOP! AS LONG AS
WE HAVE THIS ACT,
NOBODY'S OVER 10,
EXCEPT ME AND--
WHERE'S HERBIE?
TULSA, SEE
WHAT'S KEEPING HERBIE.
GET LOUISE'S PRESENTS.
I'LL WARM THE CHOW MEIN.
CHOW MEIN?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY.
CHOW MEIN
FOR BREAKFAST?
WHY NOT?
THERE'S EGG ROLL,
AIN'T THERE?
WITH A SALARY,
WE COULD HAVE
BOUGHT PRESENTS,
BUT IT'S MORE FUN
TO CLIP FROM
THE FIVE-AND-DIME.
A CATCHER'S MITT
AND A BIG-LEAGUE
BASEBALL.
OH, THANK YOU,
YONKERS.
HERE'S A REAL
STUFFED CAT.
I LOVE IT, KANSAS.
I CLIPPED
A GOLDFISH BOWL.
I'LL GIVE YOU
THE FISH FOR LENT.
THANKS, L.A.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL
PACKAGE, JUNE.
IT'S A COMPLETE
SEWING SET
IN A VELVET-LINED
BASKET.
I SHOULD HAVE
WRAPPED THEM.
OH, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WRAP BOOKS.
WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
LOUISE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TULSA.
I MEAN, YOU'RE WELCOME.
I MEAN, THANK YOU.
HA HA HA!
ONE EGG ROLL.
NO MORE!
HERBIE WASN'T
IN HIS ROOM.
WHERE
COULD HE BE?
WHERE'S MY PRESENT
FROM YOU?
IT'S FROM HERBIE
AND ME.
IT'S NOT FROM HERBIE.
HE'S AN AGENT.
HERBIE PAID FOR IT
WITH A MONTH'S
COMMISSION.
OLD HERBIE MAKES
THE SAME SALARY WE DO.
GET THE COFFEE.
I'M BUSTING
TO TELL HERBIE
ABOUT MY DREAM.
IT'S REALLY
IN YOUR HONOR
ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.
OH, BABY,
YOU'LL LOVE IT.
CHILDREN, YOU'LL
ALL LOVE IT.
IT'S A NEW ACT.
OH.
[BIRDS TWITTERING]
IN THIS DREAM,
JUNE WAS SINGING
A SONG
IN, LIKE,
A BARNYARD,
AND THEN A COW
CAME ONSTAGE.
A COW?
PRETTY SEXY.
NOT A REAL COW,
A DANCING COW
WITH A GREAT BIG SMILE.
THAT COW SPOKE TO ME.
WHAT DID IT SAY?
MADAME ROSE!
I'M NOT COOKING
IN HERE!
OPEN THIS DOOR!
I'M DRESSING!
THAT COW--
MADAME ROSE!
I'LL CALL YOU
TOMORROW!
AH!
THAT COW SAID,
"TO GET ON
THE ORPHEUM CIRCUIT,
PUT ME IN YOUR ACT!"
KNOW WHAT I'LL DO?
PAY THAT
CRUMMY COW, NOT US.
I AIN'T PAYING
ANYBODY,
BUT I'LL TAKE
THE COW'S ADVICE.
I'M CALLING THE NEW ACT
"DAINTY JUNE
AND HER FARM BOYS."
I'LL PUT THE COW
IN THE ACT
CHOWSIE, THE MONKEY,
AND LOUISE'S PRESENT.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS.
NO COOKING, MADAME ROSE?
HOW DARE YOU ENTER
A LADY'S BOUDOIR
WITHOUT KNOCKING.
WHERE'S YOUR
HOT PLATE?
WHERE'S YOUR
SEARCH WARRANT?
PLAN "B."
ALL THE YEARS I'VE RUN
A THEATRICAL HOTEL--
LEAVE,
OR I'LL SCREAM.
YOU KNOW THE RULES--
NO COOKING,
NO ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES,
NO DOGS, NO CATS,
NO PETS OF ANY KIND.
[BAA]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
DARLING!
OH, MAMMA!
IT'S A DAMN ZOO!
NO PROFANITY.
JUNE, GET THE BIBLE.
GET THE BIBLE!
PACK UP THIS
DIRTY MENAGERIE
AND GET OUT.
YOU'LL HAVE TO
THROW ME OUT,
YOU ANIMAL HATER.
SEND FOR THE SPCA.
SEND FOR THE POLICE.
I RENTED THESE ROOMS
TO ONE ADULT, THREE CHILDREN.
I FIND ONE ADULT,
FIVE PETS,
AND ONE, TWO,
THREE, FOUR--
YOU COUNTED HIM
TWICE!
A SIMPLE LITTLE
BIRTHDAY PARTY
FOR MY BABY!
ONE, TWO, THREE--
STAND STILL!
I'D OFFER SOME,
BUT THERE'S ONLY
ONE EGG ROLL.
HOW MANY PEOPLE
ARE SLEEPING
IN THAT ROOM?
WHAT ROOM?
THIS ROOM!
THERE ISN'T A SOUL
IN THIS ROOM.
NO, BUT--
EXCEPT YOU AND ME.
AAH!
MR. KRINGELEIN,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT--
STOP! HELP!
HELP! RAPE!
MY BABIES!
MY BABIES!
MONSTER!
OH!
ARE YOU O.K.?
WHAT HAPPENED?
A LITTLE
BIRTHDAY PARTY--
CHOW MEIN, A TINY
LITTLE CAKE.
ROSE, ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT?
ARE YOU O.K.,
HONEY?
SURE. WHERE HAVE YOU--
OOH, HERBIE.
MR. KRINGELEIN,
THE HOTEL MANAGER,
HE TRIED...
HE TRIED TO--
AGAIN?
DON'T YOU DARE
APOLOGIZE TO HIM.
WHERE'S LOUISE?
FAT LOT YOU CARE.
SHE LIKE
HER PRESENT?
I'M SURPRISED
YOU REMEMBERED.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
ROSE, THIS IS
MR. GOLDSTONE.
I ASK YOU,
MR. GOLDSTONE--
THE CHILD HAS A BIRTHDAY
ONCE A YEAR.
WE PLAN A NICE PARTY.
HE'S FROM
THE ORPHEUM CIRCUIT.
THERE'S
AN EGG ROLL APIECE,
FRIED RICE, AND--
THE ACT IS BOOKED
ON THE ORPHEUM CIRCUIT.
" HAVE AN EGG ROLL "
" MR. GOLDSTONE "
" HAVE A NAPKIN,
HAVE A CHOPSTICK "
" HAVE A CHAIR "
" HAVE A SPARERIB "
" MR. GOLDSTONE "
" ANY SPARERIB
THAT I CAN SPARE "
" I'LL BE GLAD TO SHARE "
" HAVE A DISH,
HAVE A FORK "
" HAVE A FISH,
HAVE A PORK "
" PUT YOUR FEET UP "
" FEEL AT HOME "
" HAVE A SMOKE,
HAVE A COKE "
" WOULD YOU LIKE
TO HEAR A JOKE? "
" I'LL HAVE JUNE
RECITE A POEM "
" HAVE A LITCHI "
" MR. GOLDSTONE "
" TELL ME ANY LITTLE THING
THAT I CAN DO "
" GINGER PEACHY "
" MR. GOLDSTONE "
" HAVE A KUMQUAT "
" HAVE TWO "
" EVERYBODY, GIVE A CHEER "
" SANTA CLAUS
IS SITTING HERE "
" MR. GOLDSTONE "
" I LOVE YOU "
[SIMULTANEOUS
SHOUTING AND TALKING]
AAH! AAH!
WOO! WOO!
HEY! HEY!
AAH!
" HAVE A GOLDSTONE,
MR. EGG ROLL "
" TELL ME ANY LITTLE THING
THAT I CAN DO "
" HAVE SOME FRIED RICE,
MR. SOY SAUCE "
" HAVE A COOKIE,
HAVE A FEW "
" WHAT'S THE MATTER,
MR. G? "
" HAVE ANOTHER POT OF TEA "
" MR. GOLDSTONE "
" I LOVE YOU "
" THERE ARE GOOD STONES "
" AND BAD STONES "
" AND CURBSTONES "
" AND GLADSTONES "
" AND TOUCHSTONES "
" AND SUCH STONES AS THEM "
" THERE ARE BIG STONES "
" AND SMALL STONES "
" AND GRINDSTONES "
" AND GALLSTONES "
" BUT GOLDSTONE IS A GEM "
" THERE ARE MILESTONES "
" THERE ARE MILLSTONES "
" THERE'S A CHERRY,
THERE'S A YELLOW "
" THERE'S A BLUE "
" BUT WE DON'T WANT "
" ANY OLD STONE "
" ONLY GOLDSTONE "
" WILL DO "
" MOONSTONE, SUNSTONE "
" WE ALL SCREAM
FOR ONE STONE "
" MR. GOLDSTONE "
" WE... "
" LOVE... "
" YOU ""
GOLDSTONE!
GOLDSTONE!
[SIMULTANEOUS TALKING]
" LITTLE LAMB "
" LITTLE LAMB "
" MY BIRTHDAY IS HERE "
" AT LAST "
" LITTLE LAMB "
" LITTLE LAMB "
" A BIRTHDAY GOES BY "
" SO FAST "
" LITTLE BEAR "
" LITTLE BEAR "
" YOU SIT ON MY RIGHT "
" RIGHT THERE "
" LITTLE HEN "
" LITTLE HEN "
" WHAT GAME
SHOULD WE PLAY? "
" AND WHEN? "
" LITTLE CAT "
" LITTLE CAT "
" OH, WHY DO YOU LOOK
SO BLUE? "
" DID SOMEBODY PAINT YOU "
" LIKE THAT? "
" OR IS IT
YOUR BIRTHDAY, TOO? "
" LITTLE FISH "
" LITTLE FISH "
" DO YOU THINK I'LL GET "
" MY WISH? "
" LITTLE LAMB "
" LITTLE LAMB "
" I WONDER HOW OLD I AM "
" I WONDER HOW OLD "
" I AM "
" LITTLE LAMB ""
HAND ME
LOUISE'S PLATE.
MOTHER.
WE'RE PAYING
FOR IT, AIN'T WE?
BESIDES, WHAT THE DOGS
WON'T EAT, WE WILL.
ROSE, THERE MIGHT BE
SOMEBODY IN THIS WORLD
WHO DOESN'T LIKE
CHINESE FOOD.
DON'T BE SILLY. WHO?
DON'T YOU
LIKE IT, HERBIE?
SURE, ROSE.
I LOVE IT.
DID SHE?
YES, MAMMA.
'ATSA HEALTHY-WEALTHY
LADY-WADIE.
OH, GOD.
HERBIE'S ANGRY.
NEVER. IT'S BAD
FOR HIS STOMACH.
GIRLS, BEDDIE-BYE.
YOU'RE AUDITIONING
FOR T.T. GRANTZIGER TOMORROW.
YOU HAVE TO LOOK YOUNG.
CAN I WEAR A DRESS?
YOU LOOK OLD IN ONE.
BESIDES, YOU HAVEN'T GOT ONE.
GOOD NIGHT,
UNCLE HERBIE.
NIGHT, JUNE.
GOOD NIGHT,
LOUISE.
GOOD NIGHT,
HERBIE.
I'LL COLD-CREAM THEIR FACES
AND BE BACK.
ROSE, THE HOTEL
IS TWO DOORS AWAY.
HONESTLY,
YOU BEHAVE AS THOUGH
THOSE GIRLS--ROSE!
WE NEED NEW SILVERWARE.
HERBIE.
HOW LONG WILL IT
TAKE YOU TO GET
USED TO ME?
HOW ABOUT ME GETTING
USED TO THOSE COATS?
WHAT'S WRONG?
THEY'RE VERY STYLISH.
AS THE GOOD LORD SAYS,
"AN EYE FOR AN EYE.
A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH."
SERVES THEM RIGHT
FOR OVERCHARGING.
THEY CAN SKIP
THE COLD CREAM
FOR ONE NIGHT.
ALL THIS TIME,
AND YOU STILL
STAND UP FOR ME.
INSTEAD OF
STANDING UP TO YOU.
I WANTED DINNER,
JUST THE TWO OF US,
BUT WHAT
ABOUT THE GIRLS?
THEY'RE JUST BABIES.
ROSE, HOWEVER YOU
DRESS THEM OR SMOTHER THEM,
THEY'RE ALMOST
YOUNG WOMEN.
THEY'RE NOT.
WHEN WILL YOU
MARRY ME, ROSE?
BRING OUR SCRAPBOOKS
TOMORROW.
WHEN WILL YOU
QUIT STALLING?
HONEY, DON'T YOU KNOW
THERE'S A DEPRESSION?
OF COURSE!
I READ VARIETY.
DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S
DOING TO VAUDEVILLE?
DON'T YOU KNOW
I LOVE YOU?
THINK I'D BE UNFAITHFUL
TO MY HUSBANDS
IF YOU DIDN'T?
BUT I MUST THINK
OF MY GIRLS' HAPPINESS.
LOUISE IS HAPPY BEING
A COW'S FRONT END.
IT'S BETTER THAN
THE REAR END.
ANYWAY,
SHE LOVES ANIMALS.
THE GIRLS SHOULD
BE IN SCHOOL.
AND BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS--
COOK, CLEAN, AND DIE.
HONEY, COULD I
HAVE A SPOON
TO STIR MY TEA?
I PROMISED JUNE
I'D GET HER ON
THE PANTAGES CIRCUIT
AND ORPHEUM CIRCUIT,
AND I DID.
I DID!
YOU PROMISED ME
THAT AFTER I DID,
YOU'D MARRY ME.
I PROMISED SHE'D
HEADLINE BROADWAY.
DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME?
YES, BUT I'M
IGNORING IT.
THANKS, HONEY.
IT ISN'T POLITE
TO REMIND A LADY
THAT SHE WELCHED.
THERE WAS NO DATE
ON THAT PROMISE.
ROSE, STOP HANDING ME
THAT BULL!
OH, YOUR STOMACH.
OH, HERBIE.
WHY DON'T YOU GET ANGRY
ON THE OUTSIDE,
INSTEAD OF LETTING IT
SETTLE IN YOUR STOMACH?
I'M AFRAID.
OF ME?
OF ME.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IF I EVER LET LOOSE,
IT'LL END WITH ME
PICKING UP AND WALKING.
ONLY AROUND
THE BLOCK.
NO.
DON'T SAY THAT.
" YOU'LL... "
" NEVER GET AWAY
FROM ME "
" YOU CAN CLIMB
THE TALLEST TREE "
" I'LL BE THERE SOMEHOW "
" TRUE, YOU COULD SAY,
"HEY, HERE'S YOUR HAT" "
" BUT A LITTLE THING
LIKE THAT "
" COULDN'T STOP ME NOW "
" I... "
" COULDN'T GET AWAY
FROM YOU "
" EVEN IF YOU TOLD ME TO "
" SO GO ON AND TRY "
" JUST TRY "
" AND YOU'RE GONNA SEE "
" HOW YOU'RE GONNA
NOT AT ALL... "
" GET AWAY "
" FROM ME ""
ROSE, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
THERE ARE BETTER AGENTS.
NOT FOR ME.
EVEN WEAKER MEN.
NOT FOR ME.
THEN WHAT?
YOU.
HERBIE, JUST KEEP HELPING
LIKE YOU'VE BEEN HELPING,
JUST LET ME GET JUNE'S NAME
UP IN LIGHTS SO BIG,
IT'LL LAST MY WHOLE LIFE.
ROSE, WHAT YOU EXPECT--
I'LL GET! THEN I PROMISE
I'LL MARRY YOU.
I EVEN PROMISE
TO KEEP MY PROMISE.
I DON'T WANT TO
UPSET ANYTHING
BEFORE TOMORROW'S
AUDITION,
INCLUDING YOUR STOMACH.
" ROSE, I LOVE YOU "
" BUT DON'T COUNT
YOUR CHICKENS "
" COME DANCE
WITH ME "
" I WARN YOU "
" THAT I'M NO
BOY SCOUT "
" RELAX AWHILE "
" COME DANCE WITH ME "
" SO DON'T THINK "
" THAT I'M
EASY PICKIN'S "
" THE MUSIC'S
SO NICE "
" ROSE, 'CAUSE
I JUST MAY SOMEDAY "
" PICK UP
AND PACK OUT "
" OH, NO, YOU WON'T "
" NO, NOT A CHANCE "
" NO ARGUMENTS "
" SHUT UP AND DANCE "
" YOU'LL... "
" NEVER GET AWAY
FROM ME "
" YOU CAN CLIMB
THE TALLEST TREE "
" I'LL BE THERE
SOMEHOW "
" TRUE, YOU COULD SAY,
"HEY, HERE'S YOUR HAT" "
" BUT A LITTLE THING
LIKE THAT "
" COULDN'T
STOP ME NOW "
" I... "
" COULDN'T GET AWAY
FROM YOU "
" EVEN IF I WANTED TO "
" WELL, GO ON
AND TRY "
" JUST TRY "
" AH, ROSE "
" AND YOU'RE
GONNA SEE "
" AH, ROSE "
" HOW YOU'RE GONNA
NOT AT ALL... "
" GET AWAY "
" FROM... "
" ME ""
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
YES, MR. GRANTZIGER.
YES, BUT THEY'RE
HAVING DIFFICULTY
WITH THEIR SCENERY.
WELL, WAIT TILL
YOU SEE IT.
NOW, KEEP THE TEMPO UP!
KEEP IT BRIGHT!
THAT'S THE MOTHER.
NO. I HAVE TOLD HER.
HELLO, MR. GRANTZIGER!
WHERE IS HE?
HE'S IN HIS OFFICE.
HI!
IT'S A PLEASURE,
MR. GRANTZIGER.
YOU'LL LOVE US!
THE AGENT--
HE'S NICE.
WE'RE READY.
OH. THEY'RE READY NOW,
MR. GRANTZIGER.
GOOD LUCK.
THANK YOU.
[BIRDS TWITTERING
AND GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
[HOEDOWN MUSIC PLAYING]
" EXTRA! EXTRA! "
" HEY, LOOK AT
THE HEADLINE "
" HISTORICAL NEWS
IS BEING MADE "
" EXTRA! EXTRA! "
" THEY'RE DRAWING
A RED LINE "
" AROUND THE BIGGEST SCOOP
OF THE DECADE "
" A BARREL OF CHARM "
" A FABULOUS THRILL "
" THE BIGGEST LITTLE HEADLINE
IN VAUDEVILLE "
" PRESENTING "
" IN PERSON "
" THAT 5' 2"
BUNDLE OF DYNAMITE "
" DAINTY... "
" JUNE ""
[DRUM ROLL]
HELLO, EVERYBODY!
MY NAME IS JUNE!
WHAT'S YOURS?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
" I HAVE A MOO COW "
" A NEW COW,
A TRUE COW "
" NAMED CAROLINE "
" MOO, MOO, MOO, MOO "
" SHE'S AN EXTRA-SPECIAL "
" FRIEND OF MINE "
" MOO, MOO, MOO, MOO "
" I LIKE EVERYTHING "
" ABOUT HER FINE "
" MOO, MOO,
MOO, MOO "
" SHE LIKES TO MOO IN
THE MOONLIGHT "
" WHEN THE MOODY MOON
APPEARS "
" AND WHEN SHE MOOS IN
THE MOONLIGHT "
" GOSH, IT'S MOOSIC
TO MY EARS "
" SHE'S SO MOOSICAL "
" SHE LOVES A MAN COW,
A TAN COW "
" WHO CAN COW HER
WITH A GLANCE "
" MOO, MOO,
MOO, MOO "
" WHEN HE WINKS AT HER "
" SHE STARTS TO DANCE "
" MOO, MOO, MOO, MOO "
" IT'S WHAT GROWN-UPS CALL
A REAL ROMANCE "
" MOO, MOO, MOO, MOO "
" BUT IF WE MOOOVED
TO THE CITY "
" OR WE SETTLED
BY THE SHORE "
" SHE'D MAKE THE MOOOVE "
" 'CAUSE SHE
LOVES ME MORE ""
[MUSIC ENDS]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
YES, MR. GRANTZIGER.
DAINTY JUNE, WILL YOU
COME OUT FOR A MINUTE?
FACE FRONT, DEAR.
PROFILE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THAT'S ALL.
WE HAVE A GREAT FINISH.
I'M SURE,
BUT MR. GRANTZIGER--
AH...HIT IT!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
STOP THAT!
" BROADWAY "
" BROADWAY "
" WE MISS IT SO "
" WE'RE LEAVING SOON
AND TAKING JUNE "
" TO STAR HER IN A SHOW "
" BRIGHT LIGHTS "
" WHITE LIGHTS "
" RHYTHM AND ROMANCE "
" THE TRAIN IS LATE,
SO WHILE WE WAIT "
" WE'RE GONNA DO
A LITTLE DANCE "
SMILE.
YEAH!
" BROADWAY "
" BROADWAY "
" HOW GREAT YOU ARE "
" I'LL LEAVE THE FARM
WITH ALL ITS CHARM "
" TO BE A BROADWAY STAR "
" BRIGHT LIGHTS "
" WHITE LIGHTS "
" WHERE THE NEONS GLOW "
" MY BAG IS PACKED,
I'VE GOT MY ACT "
" SO ALL ABOARD,
C'MON, LET'S GO "
" LET'S GO ""
" LET'S GO ""
BYE!
BYE!
BYE!
BYE!
BYE!
BYE!
BYE!
BYE!
BYE!
BYE!
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
WATCH THIS!
IT'S A TRAIN!
WOO! WOO!
GOOD-BYE, CAROLINE!
DON'T FORGET TO WRITE!
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
GOOD-BYE!
GOOD-BYE, CAROLINE!
GOOD-BYE!
GOOD-BYE!
WAIT!
STOP THE TRAIN.
STOP EVERYTHING!
I CAN'T GO TO BROADWAY
WITH YOU.
WHY NOT, DAINTY JUNE?
BECAUSE...
EVERYTHING IN LIFE
THAT REALLY MATTERS
IS RIGHT HERE.
WHAT CARE I FOR TINSEL...
OR GLAMOUR...
WHEN I HAVE FRIENDSHIP
AND TRUE LOVE?
I'M STAYING HERE
WITH CAROLINE!
YAY!
YAY!
[PLAYING THE STARS
AND STRIPES FOREVER]
[MUSIC ENDS]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
YES, MR. GRANTZIGER.
WHAT?
HE LIKED IT.
AAH HA HA HA!
YES, SIR, IF THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANT.
IF YOU...
AND YOUR TRIBE
WILL FOLLOW ME
TO THE OFFICE,
I'LL MAKE OUT
THE CONTRACTS.
CONTRACTS!
CONTRACTS!
YOU WON'T BE SORRY,
MR. GRANTZIGER!
THIS IS GONNA
MAKE YA!
[RIN
YES?
NO. MR. GRANTZIGER'S BUSY.
HE'S GONE DOWN
TO THE STAGE.
YOUR MOTHER AND AGENT
ARE STILL READING OVER
THE CONTRACT.
THEY WON'T BE
MUCH LONGER.
SHE'S GOT TO EAT
SOMETIME.
SAY, WOMAN TO WOMAN,
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
9.
9 WHAT?
9 GOING ON 10.
HOW LONG HAS THAT
BEEN GOING ON?
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
MISS CRATCHITT,
I THINK MR. GRANTZIGER
MADE A MISTAKE
IN THIS CONTRACT.
SO DO I.
HAPPY, GIRLS?
YES, MAMMA.
WE AUDITIONED
FOR GRANTZIGER'S PALACE.
THIS IS FOR
GRANTZIGER'S VARIETY.
THE VARIETY'S
ON 14th STREET.
HE'LL GIVE YOU A VISA
TO GET THERE.
[RING]
I'D LIKE TO TALK
TO GRANTZIGER.
HE WENT
TO THE STAGE.
I'M GOING
TO THE STAGE.
YOU CAN'T DISTURB
HIS AUDITIONS.
THEN I'LL WAIT.
IF I WERE YOU,
I'D SIGN THAT CONTRACT.
THERE'S ONLY ONE ITEM
THE BOSS LIKES--
DAINTY LITTLE JUNE.
HE THINKS
SHE CAN BE AN ACTRESS.
HE'S RIGHT.
CAN BE. IF.
IF WHAT?
IF SHE GOES
TO SCHOOL FOR A YEAR
AND TAKES
ACTING LESSONS.
HE'LL PAY
FOR EVERYTHING,
ON ONE CONDITION--
YOU STAY AWAY.
STAY AWAY?
I'M HER MOTHER.
WHAT ABOUT THE ACT?
ONE WEEK
AT THE VARIETY.
JUNE IS THE ACT!
HOW ARE LOUISE AND I
SUPPOSED TO LIVE?
GET A JOB.
I HAVE A JOB.
MY DAUGHTERS ARE MY JOB,
AND I GOT TWO OF THEM!
IF JUNE--
JUNE IS MY BABY.
I'M HER MOTHER!
[RING]
DON'T ANSWER THAT
WHEN I'M YELLING!
NOBODY KNOWS JUNE
LIKE I DO!
MR. GRANTZIGER
CAN MAKE ME A STAR!
YOU ARE A STAR,
AND I MADE YOU ONE!
SHE DON'T NEED LESSONS
ANY MORE THAN SHE NEEDS
MR. T.T. GRANTZIGER.
THERE ISN'T A PERSON
WHO DOESN'T NEED GRANTZIGER.
TAKE A LOOK
AT THIS PERSON!
ROSE!
OH, THEY'RE SO SMART
IN NEW YORK!
NEW YORK'S THE CENTER--
NEW YORK IS THE CENTER
OF NEW YORK!
THERE'S A COUNTRY
FULL OF PEOPLE
WHO KNOW WHAT A MOTHER
MEANS TO HER DAUGHTER!
GRANTZIGER'S A HICK!
ROSE!
HE'S TRYING TO TAKE
MY BABY!
OVER MY DEAD BODY HE WILL!
JUST A MINUTE.
JUST WAIT ONE MINUTE!
NO!
MAMMA'S JUST
TALKING BIG, JUNE.
SHE WON'T REALLY--
YES, SHE WILL.
MAYBE
MR. GRANTZIGER WILL--
NO, HE WON'T.
WELL,
THAT'S SHOW BUSINESS.
AREN'T YOU HAPPY
MR. T.T. GRANTZIGER
THINKS YOU CAN BE
A STAR?
YOU'RE FUNNY.
WHY?
WELL, YOU'RE NEVER JEALOUS.
I DON'T HAVE
ANY TALENT.
I DON'T MIND, REALLY,
EXCEPT MAMMA
WOULD LIKE IT BETTER
IF I DID.
GUESS THAT'S WHAT
SHE LIKES ABOUT ME.
MAMMA'S NO FOOL.
I'M NOT A STAR.
OH, YOU ARE!
I'M NOT!
MR. GRANTZIGER
CAN MAKE ME ONE.
MAMMA CAN MAKE YOU
A STAR, TOO.
MAMMA MAKES
HERSELF BELIEVE
ANYTHING SHE MAKES UP,
LIKE WITH THAT
RHINESTONE FINALE DRESS
THAT YOU SEWED.
MAMMA WANTS PUBLICITY,
SO SHE MAKES UP A STORY
THAT THREE NUNS
WENT BLIND SEWING IT.
SHE EVEN BELIEVES
THE ACT IS GOOD.
ISN'T IT?
IT'S A TERRIBLE ACT,
AND I HATE IT.
I'VE HATED IT
FROM THE BEGINNING.
I HATE PRETENDING
LIKE I'M 2 YEARS OLD!
I HATE SINGING
THOSE AWFUL SONGS,
DOING THOSE SAME
AWFUL DANCES,
WEARING THESE
SAME AWFUL COSTUMES.
WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT
ABOUT THE COSTUMES.
YOU JUST MEANT THAT YOU'RE
TOO BIG FOR THEM NOW.
DID YOU EVER FEEL
LIKE YOU DIDN'T HAVE
A SISTER?
IT'S MAMMA'S FAULT!
YOU CAN'T BLAME
EVERYTHING ON MAMMA!
WISH SHE'D MARRY HERBIE
AND LET ME ALONE.
HERBIE WON'T MARRY HER!
ALL HE CARES ABOUT
IS THE ACT.
OH, HONEST, LOUISE.
HE'S AN AGENT.
YOUR MOTHER
ISN'T FEELING WELL.
I'LL TAKE HER BACK
TO THE HOTEL.
DON'T WORRY, JUNE.
I'LL GET YOU
A GOOD BOOKING.
I WISH MAMMA WOULD MARRY
A PLAIN MAN,
SO WE COULD ALL
BE TOGETHER.
" IF MAMMA WAS MARRIED,
WE'D LIVE IN A HOUSE "
" AS PRIVATE
AS PRIVATE CAN BE "
" JUST MAMMA, THREE DUCKS,
FIVE CANARIES, A MOUSE "
" TWO MONKEYS, ONE FATHER,
SIX TURTLES, AND ME "
" IF MAMMA WAS MARRIED "
" IF MAMMA WAS MARRIED,
I'D JUMP IN THE AIR "
" AND GIVE ALL
MY TOESHOES TO YOU "
" I'D GET ALL THOSE
HAIR RIBBONS OUT OF MY HAIR "
" AND ONCE AND FOR ALL,
I'D GET MAMMA OUT, TOO "
" IF MAMMA WAS MARRIED "
" MAMMA, GET OUT
YOUR WHITE DRESS "
" YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE "
" WITHOUT MUCH SUCCESS "
" MAMMA,
GODSPEED AND GOD BLESS "
" WE'RE NOT KEEPING SCORE,
WHAT'S ONE MORE OR LESS? "
" OH, MAMMA, SAY YES "
" AND WALTZ DOWN THE AISLE
WHILE YOU MAY "
" I'LL GLADLY
SUPPORT YOU "
" I'LL EVEN
ESCORT YOU "
" AND I'LL GLADLY
GIVE YOU AWAY "
" OH, MAMMA,
GET MARRIED TODAY "
" IF MAMMA WAS MARRIED,
THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY MORE "
" LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU "
" LET ME
MAKE YOU SMILE "
" I WILL DO SOME KICKS "
" I WILL DO
SOME TRICKS "
SING OUT, LOUISE!
SMILE, BABY!
" MAMMA, PLEASE TAKE
OUR ADVICE "
" WE AREN'T
THE LUNTS "
" I'M NOT FANNY BRICE "
" MAMMA, WE'LL BUY YOU
THE RICE "
" IF ONLY THIS ONCE "
" YOU WOULDN'T THINK TWICE "
" IT COULD BE SO NICE
IF MAMMA GOT MARRIED TO STAY "
" BUT MAMMA
GETS MARRIED "
" AND "
" MARRIED "
" AND "
" MARRIED "
" AND NEVER GETS
CARRIED AWAY "
" OH, MAMMA "
" OH, MAMMA "
" OH, MAMMA "
" GET MARRIED TODAY ""
" BA BA BA AH ""
HA HA!
THAT'S PRETTY FANCY
FOOTWORK, TULSA.
WHY DON'T YOU SHOW IT
TO MADAME ROSE?
I'M JUST
FOOLING AROUND.
YOU STARTED
FOOLING AROUND ABOUT
THREE MONTHS AGO,
AFTER GRANTZIGER
CANCELED
OUR BOOKING.
WHY, TULSA?
HE'S JUST HAD
MORE TIME, THAT'S ALL,
LIKE THAT LAYOFF
IN ALBANY.
AND ROCHESTER.
AND NIAGARA FALLS.
I THOUGHT
YOU WERE WORRIED
ABOUT THE ACT.
OH, NO, HERBIE.
THE WAY THINGS
ARE PICKING UP,
I WOULDN'T
BE SURPRISED
IF YOU KIDS
GOT PAID.
MATTER OF FACT,
THEY'RE GOOD ENOUGH
RIGHT NOW
FOR ME TO TREAT YOU
TO AN ICE-CREAM
SODA.
NO, THANK YOU.
CHOW MEIN?
MAMMA DOESN'T LIKE US
EATING BEFORE A SHOW.
LOUISE,
THERE'S ONE THING
YOUR MAMMA KNOWS
I WISH YOU DID.
I LIKE HER.
HERBIE!
UH...
NOTHING.
TULSA, IF YOU
OR THE BOYS HAVE
ANY PROBLEMS,
YOU BRING THEM
TO ME.
SURE, HERBIE.
YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM
ANYTHING, DID YOU?
THAT YOU'RE
REHEARSING
A DANCE-TEAM ACT?
HOW'D YOU KNOW?
I SAW YOU PRACTICING
AFTER THE MATINEE
WITH A BROOM.
LOUISE, PLEASE, JUST--
I WON'T TELL
ANYBODY.
I PROMISE.
I'M VERY SECRETIVE,
LIKE YOU.
THAT'S WHAT
THIS MEANS,
HERE IN YOUR PALM,
AND THIS MEANS
THAT YOU MAKE UP
DREAMS, LIKE ME.
WHAT DO YOU
MAKE UP DREAMS ABOUT?
PEOPLE.
OH. I DO THAT, TOO.
YOURS ARE ABOUT
A PARTNER
FOR YOUR ACT.
SHE'LL BE MORE
THAN A PARTNER, I HOPE.
I MEAN, I DREAM
THAT ONE DAY,
WELL, YOU KNOW.
WHAT WOULD SHE
HAVE TO BE LIKE, TULSA?
A WONDERFUL SINGER
AND DANCER, I GUESS.
NO. I'LL DO
MOST OF THAT MYSELF.
THEY ALWAYS LOOK AT
THE GIRL IN A DANCE TEAM,
ESPECIALLY IF SHE'S PRETTY.
MAKE-UP CAN HELP,
AND COSTUMES.
I'VE GOT COSTUMES
FIGURED OUT.
I'LL SEW THEM.
O.K.!
HEY, THANKS!
WELL, YOU SEE,
I PRETEND I'M AT HOME
GETTING READY FOR A DATE.
I TAKE A COMB,
COMB MY HAIR.
TAKE A FLOWER,
SMELL IT,
PUT IT IN MY LAPEL,
AND I SPOT THE AUDIENCE.
" ONCE MY CLOTHES WERE SHABBY "
" TAILORS CALLED ME "CABBY" "
" SO I TOOK A VOW "
" SAID THIS BUM'LL
BE BEAU BRUMMELL "
" NOW I'M SMOOTH AND SNAPPY "
" NOW MY TAILOR'S HAPPY "
" I'M THE CAT'S MEOW "
" MY WARDROBE IS A WOW "
" PARIS SILK "
" HARRIS TWEED "
" THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
I NEED "
" GOT MY TWEED PRESSED "
" GOT MY BEST VEST "
" ALL I NEED NOW
IS THE GIRL "
" GOT MY STRIPED TIE "
" GOT MY HOPES HIGH "
" GOT THE TIME AND THE PLACE,
AND I GOT RHYTHM "
" NOW ALL I NEED IS
THE GIRL TO GO WITH THEM "
" IF SHE'LL JUST APPEAR "
" WE'LL TAKE THIS BIG TOWN
FOR A WHIRL "
" AND IF SHE'LL SAY,
"MY DARLING, I'M YOURS" "
" I'LL THROW AWAY MY STRIPED TIE
AND MY BEST-PRESSED TWEED "
" ALL I REALLY NEED
IS THE GIRL "
I START EASY, SEE?
NOW I'M MORE DEBONAIR.
BREAK!
I SELL IT HERE.
I START THIS STEP...
BUILD IT.
DOUBLE IT!
AND SHE APPEARS,
ALL IN WHITE.
I TAKE HER HAND...
KISS IT,
AND LEAD HER
ON THE FLOOR.
THIS STEP'S GOOD
FOR THE COSTUME.
ASTAIRE BIT!
" A DA DA DA
DA DA DA DA DA "
" NOW WE WALTZ,
STRINGS COME IN ""
AND I LIFT HER.
AGAIN.
ONCE MORE!
NOW THE TEMPO CHANGES,
AND ALL THE LIGHTS COME UP,
AND I BUILD
FOR THE FINALE!
HA HA HA!
HEY, THAT'S IT, LOUISE!
DO IT OVER HERE!
FOLLOW ME!
FASTER!
CHARLESTON!
AGAIN!
ONCE MORE!
GIVE ME YOUR HAND!
HA HA HA!
[WHISTLES]
HEY, COME ON.
DON'T LOWER YOURSELF
TO ARGUE, HERBIE.
IF THEM RATS
WANT TO QUIT,
LET THEM.
GIVE THEM THEIR
BUS TICKETS BACK.
WHAT'S KEEPING
THOSE GIRLS?
THERE'S TIME.
YOU SAY THEY CAN
TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES!
I KNOW
WE'VE HAD LAYOFFS.
IT AIN'T THAT.
WE'RE TOO OLD.
WOULD YOU BE TOO OLD
IF WE INCREASED
YOUR SALARY?
INCREASE
WHAT SALARY?
HERBIE'S BEEN
PAYING US.
MORON!
HERBIE!
HOW LONG
WILL IT TAKE YOU
TO GET USED TO ME?
INGRATES!
YOU TAKE THE BREAD
OUT OF HIS MOUTH
AND SPIT IT
IN HIS FACE!
THEY WERE ROTTEN
ANYWAY.
THANKS, HERBIE.
WE'D LIKE TICKETS
FOR ALL THE FELLAS.
ALL THE FELLAS?
YOU'RE ALL LEAVING?
YES, SIR, HERBIE.
SOMETHING'S FUNNY.
SOMETHING'S
VERY FUNNY HERE.
WHY, YONKERS?
WHAT'S THIS
ALL ABOUT?
O.K. IF YOU'RE ALL
GOING,
YOU'RE ALL GOING,
BUT WH--
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
WHERE'S JUNE?
LOUISE,
WHERE'S JUNE?
DON'T GIVE ME
YOUR POEMS TO READ NOW.
JUNE WROTE THIS,
TO YOU.
WHAT FOR?
WHAT'S SHE
WRITING ME FOR?
MAMMA, READ IT!
SHE ELOPED.
[YONKERS]
SHE DIDN'T ELOPE.
THEY GOT MARRIED
THREE WEEKS AGO.
WHO GOT MARRIED?
JUNE AND TULSA.
THEY WAITED UNTIL
THEIR ACT WAS READY
TO LEAVE.
IT'S A KEEN ACT,
AIN'T IT LOUISE?
[LOUISE]
I'VE NEVER SEEN IT.
[YONKERS]
WE KNOW THAT
WITHOUT JUNE--
WHERE'D THEY GO?
THEY BOOKED A CLUB
IN KANSAS.
CAN WE HAVE
THE TICKETS?
WE GOT TO
GET MOVING.
WE FIXED UP AN ACT--
HERE! GET MOVING.
DON'T BE SORE,
HERBIE.
IT AIN'T OUR FAULT
THE ACT'S ALL WASHED UP.
HEY, FELLAS, GOOD LUCK.
THANKS, HERBIE.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
GOOD LUCK, LOUISE.
GOOD LUCK.
GOOD LUCK,
MADAME ROSE.
COME ON, L.A.
ROSE, HONEY,
EVEN IF WE--
HONEY, LISTEN,
I CAN GO BACK IN
THE CANDY BUSINESS.
IT'S STEADY.
52 WEEKS--
ALL YEAR, EVERY YEAR.
I'LL WORK MY FINGERS
TO THE BONE.
I COULD BE
A DISTRICT MANAGER,
AND WE CAN STAY PUT.
LOUISE CAN
GO TO SCHOOL.
ROSE, HONEY,
YOU STILL GOT
HERBIE.
MARRY ME,
AND YOU WON'T HAVE
ONE SINGLE WORRY
THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE.
DON'T YOU WANT THAT?
YES.
OH, MAMMA,
SAY YES.
HERBIE.
YOU READ PALMS.
I READ MINDS.
O.K., HONEY, HONEY,
IT'S GOING TO BE FINE.
EVERYTHING HAPPENS
FOR THE BEST.
O.K., SO THE ACT'S
FINISHED,
BUT YOU, ME,
AND OUR DAUGHTER,
WE'LL HAVE A HOME.
WE'VE EVEN GOT A COW
FOR THE BACK YARD.
WE'LL BE THE BEST
DAMN FAMILY EVER WAS.
I'M USED TO PEOPLE
WALKING OUT.
WHEN MY OWN MOTHER DID IT,
I CRIED FOR A WEEK.
YOUR FATHER DID IT.
THEN THE MAN I MARRIED
AFTER HIM DID IT.
WELL, THIS TIME,
I AIN'T CRYING.
THIS TIME,
I'M APOLOGIZING.
TO YOU.
I PUSHED YOU ASIDE
FOR HER.
I MADE EVERYTHING
JUST FOR HER.
NO, MAMMA.
SHE SAYS I CAN'T
MAKE HER AN ACTRESS.
THE BOYS WALKED
BECAUSE THEY THINK
THE ACT IS FINISHED.
THEY THINK WE'RE
NOTHING WITHOUT HER.
SHE'S NOTHING
WITHOUT ME!
I'M HER MOTHER,
AND I MADE HER!
I CAN MAKE YOU.
I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU
FOR PUSHING YOU IN THE BACK!
I'M GOING TO BUILD
A WHOLE NEW ACT
ALL AROUND YOU!
IT WILL BE BETTER THAN ANYTHING
WE EVER DID BEFORE!
ROSE, LISTEN!
YOU'RE RIGHT, HERBIE.
IT IS FOR THE BEST!
THE OLD ACT WAS STALE.
LOOK AT THE NEW STAR!
SHE'LL BE BEAUTIFUL.
FINISHED?
WE'RE JUST BEGINNING,
AND THERE'S NO STOPPING US
THIS TIME!
" I HAD A DREAM "
" A DREAM ABOUT YOU, BABY "
" IT'S GONNA COME TRUE,
BABY "
" THEY THINK THAT WE'RE THROUGH,
BUT, BABY "
" YOU'LL BE SWELL "
" YOU'LL BE GREAT "
" GONNA HAVE THE WHOLE WORLD
ON A PLATE "
" STARTING HERE,
STARTING NOW "
" HONEY, EVERYTHING'S
COMING UP ROSES "
" CLEAR THE DECKS,
CLEAR THE TRACKS "
" YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO DO
BUT RELAX "
" BLOW A KISS,
TAKE A BOW "
" HONEY, EVERYTHING'S
COMING UP ROSES "
" NOW'S YOUR INNING "
" STAND THE WORLD
ON ITS EAR "
" SET IT SPINNING "
" THAT'LL BE JUST
THE BEGINNING "
" CURTAIN UP "
" LIGHT THE LIGHTS "
" YOU GOT NOTHIN' TO HIT
BUT THE HEIGHTS "
" YOU'LL BE SWELL "
" YOU'LL BE GREAT "
" I CAN TELL "
" JUST YOU WAIT "
" THAT LUCKY STAR
I TALK ABOUT IS DUE "
" HONEY, EVERYTHING'S
COMING UP ROSES "
" FOR ME AND FOR YOU "
" YOU CAN DO IT "
" ALL YOU NEED
IS A HAND "
" WE CAN DO IT "
" MAMMA IS GONNA
SEE TO IT "
" CURTAIN UP "
" LIGHT THE LIGHTS "
" WE GOT NOTHIN' TO HIT
BUT THE HEIGHTS "
" I CAN TELL "
" WAIT AND SEE "
" THERE'S THE BELL "
" FOLLOW ME "
" AND NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US
TILL WE'RE THROUGH "
" HONEY, EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
ROSES AND DAFFODILS "
" EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
SUNSHINE AND SANTA CLAUS "
" EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE
BRIGHT LIGHTS AND LOLLIPOPS "
" EVERYTHING'S
COMING UP ROSES "
" FOR ME AND FOR YOU ""
ARE YOU READY,
LOUISE?
YES, MAMMA.
READY, GIRLS?
YES,
MADAME ROSE.
DON'T LET THE PAST
DISCOURAGE YOU.
REMEMBER, YOU ARE ARTISTES
OF THE THEATER.
" BA BA BA BA
BA BA ""
MADAME ROSE'S
TOREADORABLES!
[CLAPPING]
" EXTRA! EXTRA! "
" HEY, LOOK
AT THE HEADLINE "
" HISTORICAL NEWS
IS BEING MADE "
" EXTRA! EXTRA! "
" THEY'RE DRAWING
A RED LINE "
" AROUND THE BIGGEST SCOOP
OF THE DECADE "
" A BARREL OF CHARM "
" A FABULOUS THRILL "
" THE BIGGEST LITTLE HEADLINE
IN VAUDEVILLE "
NOW SELL IT!
PRESENTING...
IN PERSON...
THAT 5'4"
BUNDLE OF DYNAMITE...
SENORITA...
LOUISE!
COME ON, LOUISE.
COME ON!
OLE, EVERYBODY!
MY NAME IS LOUISE.
WHAT'S YOURS?
WELL, IT'S
COMING ALONG.
MAMMA, I'M JUST
NO GOOD AT IT.
LET'S TRY THE FINALE.
WITH A STRONG FINISH,
THEY'LL FORGIVE YOU
FOR ANYTHING.
YOU'RE LATE!
COME ON NOW, GIRLS.
MAKE IT STIRRING!
PICK YOUR FEET UP,
LOUISE.
PICK THEM UP!
THEY'RE TIRED.
YOU BETTER GO UP
TO THE TENT, GIRLS,
AND GET READY
FOR BED.
GOOD NIGHT,
MADAME ROSE.
GOOD NIGHT, LOUISE.
DON'T FORGET
TO WRITE YOUR MOTHERS...
FOR MONEY!
HOW'D YOU MAKE OUT
IN TOWN?
NOT EVEN
A LODGE HALL.
THEY'RE DAMN
UN-AMERICAN
DOWN HERE.
WE BETTER TALK
ABOUT HEADING NORTH
AFTER THEIR
BEDTIME STORY.
ONCE UPON A TIME,
THERE WAS A PRINCE
NAMED ZIEGFELD.
IT COULD HAPPEN.
EVERYBODY NEEDS
SOMETHING IMPOSSIBLE
TO HOPE FOR.
WHY DO YOU MAKE LOUISE
WEAR THAT WIG IN THE ACT?
IT MAKES HER LOOK
MORE LIKE A STAR.
WHY DO WE
KEEP THAT COW?
THAT COW GOES,
I GO!
IF I WAS DOING
THE ACT FOR JUNE,
IT WOULD BE ALL SET.
BUT YOU'RE NOT...
AND I'M NOT JUNE.
NOBODY
EXPECTS YOU TO--
MAMMA,
I'VE TRIED HARD,
BUT THE ACT
IS ROTTEN.
TYPICAL OF A KID,
ALWAYS IMPATIENT.
A FEW BREAK-IN DATES
DON'T GO SO HOT--
I'M NOT JUNE,
AND I'M NOT A BLONDE!
I CAN'T BE HER.
SHE ISN'T
ASKING THAT.
MAYBE YOU WANT TO
STAY IN SHOW BUSINESS--
MAYBE? THAT'S
OUR WHOLE LIFE.
WHAT HAVE WE
BEEN WORKING FOR?
THAT'S A FOOLISH REMARK
FROM A FOOLISH GIRL.
I PROMISED MY GIRL
SHE'D BE A STAR,
AND SHE WILL BE.
AS THE GOOD LORD
SAYS,
"TAKE THE ROUGH
WITH THE SMOOTH."
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
TAKE IT ALONE,
RIGHT, HERBIE?
RIGHT.
WE GOT HERBIE
FOR BRAINS,
WE GOT YOU
FOR TALENT,
AND YOU BOTH GOT ME
TO YELL AT.
" WHEREVER WE GO "
" WHATEVER WE DO "
" WE'RE GONNA GO THROUGH IT
TOGETHER "
" WE MAY NOT GO FAR "
" BUT SURE AS A STAR "
" WHEREVER WE ARE,
IT'S TOGETHER "
" WHEREVER I GO,
I KNOW HE GOES "
" WHEREVER I GO,
I KNOW SHE GOES "
" NO FITS, NO FIGHTS,
NO FEUDS, AND NO EGOS "
" AMIGOS "
" TOGETHER "
" THROUGH THICK
AND THROUGH THIN "
" ALL OUT
OR ALL IN "
" AND WHETHER IT'S WIN,
PLACE, OR SHOW "
" WITH YOU FOR ME
AND ME FOR YOU "
" WE'LL MUDDLE THROUGH
WHATEVER WE DO "
" TOGETHER,
WHEREVER WE GO "
" WHEREVER WE GO "
" WHATEVER WE DO "
" WE'RE GONNA GO THROUGH IT
TOGETHER "
" WHEREVER
WE SLEEP "
" IF PRICES
ARE STEEP "
" WE'LL ALWAYS SLEEP
CHEAPER TOGETHER "
" WHATEVER
THE BOAT I ROW,
YOU ROW "
" A DUO "
" WHATEVER
THE ROW I HOE,
YOU HOE "
" A TRIO "
" AND ANY I.O.U.
I OWE, YOU OWE "
" WHO, ME? OH,
NO, YOU OWE "
" NO, WE OWE "
" TOGETHER "
" WE ALL TAKE THE BOW "
" INCLUDING
THE COW "
" THOUGH BUSINESS
IS LOUSY AND SLOW "
" WITH HERBIE'S VIM,
LOUISE'S VERVE "
" NOW ALL WE NEED
IS SOMEONE WITH NERVE "
" TOGETHER "
" TOGETHER "
" TOGETHER "
" WHEREVER "
" WHEREVER "
" WHEREVER "
" TOGETHER "
" WHEREVER "
" TOGETHER
WHEREVER WE GO "
HERE ARE
THE LETTERS,
MADAME ROSE.
THAT'S A GOOD GIRL.
GO TO BED, AGNES.
NOW THAT
I'M AN ACTRESS,
IT'S AMANDA.
WHATEVER IT IS,
GO TO BED.
CAN I ASK HERBIE
A QUESTION?
SURE.
DO YOU THINK
WE'LL EVER WORK AGAIN?
[ROSE]
OF COURSE!
I'LL GET US
A BOOKING.
THANK YOU,
HERBERT.
LOUISE,
YOUR HAIR.
[LOUISE]
IT'S YOURS,
IF YOU WANT IT.
GEE, I ALWAYS WANTED
TO BE A BLONDE.
THEN GET SOME PEROXIDE
AND A TOOTHBRUSH.
WIGS ARE EXPENSIVE.
WE COULD GET
A GOOD REFUND ON THIS,
IF WE EVER
PAY FOR IT.
HOW ABOUT
GETTING A GALLON
OF PEROXIDE?
MAKE THEM
ALL BLONDES!
I WAS
ONLY JOKING.
SO WAS I.
BUT WHY NOT
DO IT?
THEY'RE CHILDREN,
LOUISE.
THEY'RE
YOUNG GIRLS.
THEY COULD BE
PRETTY YOUNG GIRLS.
IT'D SURE
JAZZ UP THE ACT.
WE COULD CALL IT
MADAME ROSE
AND HER BLONDE
BABIES.
NOTHING
WITH BABIES.
HOLLYWOOD
BLONDES.
ALL BLONDES
EXCEPT YOU,
BECAUSE
YOU'RE THE STAR.
IF I'M THE STAR,
THEN IT SHOULD BE
"LOUISE...
AND HER
HOLLYWOOD BLONDES."
"ROSE-LOUISE...
AND HER HOLLYWOOD
BLONDES."
O.K.
" WE GO
IN A GROUP "
" WE TOUR
IN A TROUPE "
" WE LAND IN THE SOUP
BUT WE KNOW "
" THE THINGS WE DO,
WE DO BY THREES "
" A PERFECT TEAM "
THIS WAY,
LOUISE.
" TOGETHER "
" TOGETHER "
" WHEREVER "
" WHEREVER "
" WHEREVER "
" TOGETHER
WHEREVER WE GO ""
HA HA HA!
[BURLESQUE
MUSIC PLAYING]
IT'S A REAL LIVE
THEATER!
WITH A REAL LIVE
STAGE!
MARJORIE MAY,
WE'VE ARRIVED AT LAST.
OH!
OH!
LOUISE, LOOK!
A REAL
LIVE THEATER!
[MAN]
KILL THAT FLOOD!
IT'S JUST LIKE
OPENING DAY
REHEARSALS
USED TO BE.
MAMMA
WILL LOVE IT!
WILL YOU KILL
THAT FLOOD?
[MAN]
SHUT YOUR HOLE!
SHE WON'T
LOVE THAT.
OR THAT.
WHAT KIND
OF AN ACT
IS THAT?
O.K., JAILBAIT.
YOU THE HOLLYWOOD
BLONDES?
YOU'RE LATE!
OUR CAR--
SKIP IT.
SOME OF YOU
USE THIS ROOM.
YOU SHARE
WITH TESSIE TURA--
MY MOTHER DOESN'T--
THAT ONE WITH MAZEPPA,
REVOLUTION IN DANCE.
SHAKE IT UP!
OH, SO,
YOU'RE THE ACT
THAT'S SUPPOSED TO
KEEP THE COPS OUT?
HEH HEH HEH!
YOU MUST BE LOUSY.
IT'S A REAL LIVE
THEATER, ALL RIGHT.
HE REMINDS ME
OF MY BROTHER.
AMANDA, DON'T
START SNIVELING.
GRAB THE COW
AND ANYTHING ELSE
YOU CAN CARRY,
AND GO IN THERE.
MARJORIE MAY,
TAKE THE OTHER GIRLS
INTO THE SECOND ROOM.
[MAN]
COME ON! LET'S WRAP
THIS REHEARSAL!
OOH!
LOOK AT THIS!
THAT TESSIE TURA
MUST BE A VERY FANCY LADY.
SHE MUST ALSO
BE A PIG.
LOUISE!
HERE.
LET ME HELP YOU.
LOUISE, WE'RE BACK
IN A THEATER.
MAMMA,
WHERE'S HERBIE?
HE WENT TO CHECK
THE BILLING.
GOOD MORNING.
HEH HEH HEH!
OH, NO, NO, NO!
IT AIN'T
WEIGHTED RIGHT,
DAMN IT!
IT SCRATCHES ME,
AND IT DON'T BUMP
WHEN I DO.
MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH YOUR BUMPER.
BIG JOKE!
I'M BUMPING
MY BRAINS OFF
WITH NO ACTION,
AND SHE'S
BEING WITTY.
HEY, YOU
WITH THE NECK.
I PAID SIX BUCKS
FOR THAT G-STRING.
BACK WHERE
YOU FOUND IT.
YES, MA'AM.
GET THE BAGS.
GET THE PROPS,
GET THE COW.
NOW, MAMMA--
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE
THESE ARE
OR WHAT KIND
OF THEATER THIS IS.
A HOUSE
OF BURLESQUE.
IT'S FILTH!
I'M SURE HERBIE
DIDN'T KNOW.
NOT MUCH,
HE DIDN'T!
HE BOOKED US
OVER THE TELEPHONE.
AGNES!
YOU KNOW MY NAME
ISN'T AGNES.
AGNES, I WANT YOU
AND THE GIRLS
OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE
IN TWO SECONDS!
MARCH!
YES, MA'AM.
WAIT IN THERE.
I'LL TAKE
THE FRONT END
OF THE COW,
YOU TAKE
THE REAR.
WHAT BAGS
WE CAN'T CARRY,
HERBIE CAN
CARRY FOR HIMSELF.
LISTEN TO ME,
LOUISE.
YOU THINK HERBIE
CAN DO NO WRONG--
THIS HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH HERBIE.
NO DAUGHTER OF MINE
IS EVER WORKING
IN BURLESQUE.
WHERE ARE WE
GOING TO WORK?
I'D RATHER STARVE.
MAMMA,
HOW MUCH MONEY
DO WE HAVE?
INCLUDING THEIR
ALLOWANCES,
HOW MUCH
DO WE HAVE?
SOMETHING
WILL TURN UP.
THIS IS IT.
MAMMA, WE'RE
FLAT BROKE.
EVEN IF YOU
WANTED TO QUIT
AND GO HOME,
WE'D HAVE TO
TAKE THIS JOB.
I HAD A DREAM.
MAMMA...
OH, YOU'LL
LIKE THIS ONE.
I HAD IT
OVER A WEEK AGO,
ONLY I DIDN'T
WANT TO TELL.
I WAS HOME
IN SEATTLE,
AND THE COW
CAME INTO MY ROOM.
SHE WAS WHEEZING
AND SADLIKE.
SHE CAME RIGHT OVER
TO MY BED,
LOOKED AT ME,
AND SAID,
"ROSE, MOVE OVER."
I'M SORRY, MAMMA.
WHY? SHE DIDN'T ASK
YOU TO MOVE OVER.
I'M SORRY
I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH...
IN THE ACT.
IT'S THE ACT
THAT AIN'T GOOD
ENOUGH, BABY.
[HERBIE]
ROSE?
IN HERE,
HERBIE.
ROSE, I DIDN'T KNOW,
BELIEVE ME.
I DO, HONEY.
HA HA!
WHAT THE HELL!
IT'S
ONLY TWO WEEKS.
MAYBE
BY THAT TIME,
SOMETHING
WILL TURN UP.
RIGHT.
THAT'S
SHOW BUSINESS!
I BET WE GOT
TOP BILLING.
NO. IN THE MIDDLE.
I THOUGHT LAST
WAS BETTER.
"AND ROSE-LOUISE
AND HER HOLLYWOOD
BLONDES."
THEY'RE PUTTING
A BOX AROUND IT.
THEY'LL USE
A LOT OF PICTURES.
FORGET THE BOX
AND THE PICTURES.
HERBIE KNOWS
WHAT THEY SAY
IN THE BUSINESS.
ONCE A VAUDEVILLE ACT
PLAYS IN BURLESQUE,
THAT MEANS
IT'S ALL WASHED UP.
NOTHING'S GOING TO
TURN UP, IS IT?
NO.
IT IS
A PRETTY
ROTTEN ACT.
IT AIN'T THE ACT,
HONEY.
VAUDEVILLE'S DEAD,
STONE-COLD DEAD.
WELL, WE SURE
AS HELL TRIED.
NOBODY CAN SAY
WE DIDN'T LAST
UP TO THE END.
WELL, I BETTER GET
THE CUES READY.
HERBIE...
HOW ABOUT
MARRYING ME?
SURE.
I LOVE YOU,
YOU KNOW.
I KNOW.
DO IT TODAY!
NOT WHILE
WE'RE IN BURLESQUE.
THE DAY WE CLOSE.
IT'S A DEAL.
OH, HERBIE,
I DO, HONEY.
I DO.
SO DO I,
ROSE.
WHERE'S YOUR MUSIC
AND LIGHT CUES?
BE RIGHT
WITH YOU.
YOU ROSE-LOUISE?
YEAH.
I GOT A SHOW
OPENING,
SO MOVE YOUR ASS.
FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS,
YOU SPEAK LIKE
A SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER.
YOU GOT
SOMETHING NEW--
A LADY!
EVERY GIRL
IN THIS DAMN ACT
IS A LADY.
I'LL GIVE YOU
THOSE CUES.
YES, SIR.
EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.
OH, SIR.
WON'T YOU GIVE ME
YOUR PROTECTION?
I'M A LADY, TOO.
[BELL TINKLES]
HEY, THE DAMN THING
WORKED!
WELL, IF YOU LADIES
WILL EXCUSE ME...
WE'RE VERY BUSY.
IN MY DRESSING ROOM.
IN YOUR DRESS--
DAMN RIGHT, IT IS.
I DON'T LIKE SHARING
ANY MORE THAN YOU,
PARTICULARLY WITH A TROUPE
OF PROFESSIONAL VIRGINS.
WE ARE NOT--
ALL RIGHT.
SO YOU'RE ACROBATS.
WE HAPPEN TO BE
HEADLINERS
FROM THE ORPHEUM
CIRCUIT.
WE WERE BOOKED
BY MISTAKE.
WEREN'T WE ALL?
SAY, WHO MADE THAT?
I DID.
I MAKE ALL
OUR COSTUMES.
WILL YOU LOOK AT THEM
LADYLIKE LITTLE STITCHES?
THAT BROAD MAKING MY GOWNS
MUST BE USING A FISHHOOK.
WHAT DO YOU
PAY HER?
25 BUCKS A GOWN.
30.
BUT SHE'S NEW.
WHO ARE YOU, HER MOTHER?
YES.
30. I'LL GET THE MATERIAL
AFTER THE MATINEE.
IT'S A DEAL.
WHERE'S YOUR TOREADOR
COSTUME?
THE GIRLS
MUST HAVE IT
IN THE DRESSING
ROOM.
GOD KNOWS
WHAT ELSE THEY'VE GOT.
YOU KNOW,
FROM THE WAY
THAT DAME WALKS,
SHE WOULD HAVE
MADE A DAMN GOOD
STRIPPER.
TESSIE, I'M SHORT
A TALKING WOMAN.
TOUGH TITTY.
THE NEW COMIC WON'T
USE A CHORUS GIRL.
LET HIM USE MAZEPPA.
EVERYONE ELSE HAS.
YOU KNOW MAZEPPA'S GOT
A GLADIATOR BALLET
JUST BEFORE HIS SPOT.
CUT THE BALLET.
IT STINKS ANYWAY.
I'M IN A BIND.
YOU'RE
ALWAYS IN A BIND.
I'M A STRIP WOMAN.
I DON'T DO NO SCENES.
NOW SCREW!
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
OF A FIRST-CLASS
STRIP WOMAN PLAYING
SCENES?
YOU PLAY HERE,
YOU GOT TO EXPECT
TO BE INSULTED.
THE WORK'S STEADY,
AIN'T IT?
YOU GET A NEW STAR
FOR EACH SHOW.
COME ON.
FAT BOY, SAVE
YOUR BAD BREATH.
I'LL GIVE YOU
10 BUCKS.
NAH.
I CAN READ LINES.
WHO ARE YOU?
ROSE-LOUISE OF ROSE-LOUISE
AND HER HOLLYWOOD BLONDES.
WAIT.
WHAT KIND OF LINES?
YOU WITH HER?
NOT EXACTLY.
SHUT UP.
HOW ARE
YOUR LEGS?
GREAT.
I'LL HELP HER.
O.K. 10 BUCKS.
IT'S MONEY, MAMMA.
WHAT'S SHE GOING TO BE
SAYING OUT THERE?
THE SAME BURLESQUE
CRAP AS ALWAYS.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
PLAYING VAUDEVILLE.
WHERE?
IN THE VATICAN?
ANY BIG CITY
YOU CAN NAME.
MY GRANDFATHER
SAYS WE'VE COVERED
THE COUNTRY LIKE GYPSIES.
YOU MAY BE A GYPSY,
ROSE-LOUISE.
THAT'S A GOOD NAME
FOR STRIPPING.
SHE WON'T.
NO, BUT YOU
LET HER FEED LINES
FOR 10 BUCKS.
THAT'S TRAINING.
SHE'S GOING TO BE
AN ACTRESS.
THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY.
AFTER THIS, SHE GOES
RIGHT BACK TO VAUDEVILLE.
BACK TO VAUDEVILLE,
MY EYE.
THERE AIN'T
ANY VAUDEVILLE LEFT
EXCEPT BURLESQUE.
WE KNOW.
YOU KNOW?
YOU BETTER
WISE HER UP.
SHE'S WISE. SHE'S A DAMN SIGHT
WISER THAN ANY OF YOU.
LIKE MOTHER,
LIKE DAUGHTER.
O.K.
IT'S O.K., BABY.
SAY, WHOSE FEELINGS DID I HURT?
YOURS OR HERS?
NEITHER.
WE'LL BOTH BE FINE.
THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE
SHARING A DRESSING ROOM
IS LIKE
SLEEPING TOGETHER--
[MAZEPPA]
MISS TURA!
MISS TURA!
I WILL THANK YOU
NOT TO GIVE THE BOSS
ANY NOTION THAT I WOULD
EVER PLAY SCENES.
ONE MORE
DISPARAGING REMARK
ABOUT MY BALLET
WILL FIND THIS BUGLE
RIGHT UP YOUR--
PLEASE! THERE IS
A LADY PRESENT.
WHERE?
OPEN YOUR EYES
INSTEAD OF YOUR MOUTH.
GYPSY,
MEET MISS MAZEPPA
AND MISS ELECTRA.
SAY, YOU'RE EVEN
YOUNGER THAN I WAS
WHEN I BEGAN
STRIPPING.
OH, I'M NOT
GOING TO STRIP.
SOMETHING WRONG
WITH STRIPPING?
NO. I JUST MEANT
THAT I DON'T HAVE
ANY TALENT.
YOU THINK THEY HAVE?
I MYSELF, OF COURSE,
WAS A BALLERINA,
BUT TAKE IT FROM ME,
TO BE A STRIPPER,
ALL YOU NEED
IS NO TALENT.
YOU'LL PARDON ME,
BUT TO HAVE NO TALENT
IS NOT ENOUGH.
WHAT YOU NEED
TO HAVE IS AN IDEA
THAT MAKES YOUR STRIP
SPECIAL.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
" YOU CAN PULL
ALL THE STOPS OUT "
" TILL THEY CALL
THE COPS OUT "
" GRIND YOUR BEHIND
TILL YOU'RE BANNED "
" BUT YOU GOT TO GET A GIMMICK
IF YOU WANT TO GET A HAND "
" YOU CAN SACRIFICE
YOUR SACRO "
" WORKING
IN A BACK ROW "
" BUMP IN A DUMP
TILL YOU'RE DEAD "
" KID, YOU GOT TO GET A GIMMICK
IF YOU WANT TO GET AHEAD "
" YOU CAN UH "
" YOU CAN UH "
" YOU CAN UH UH UH "
" THAT'S HOW BURLESQUE
WAS BORN "
" SO I UH "
" AND I UH "
" AND I UH UH UH "
" BUT I DO IT
WITH A HORN "
[PLAYING REVEILLE]
" ONCE I WAS A SCHLEPPER,
NOW I'M MISS MAZEPPA "
" WITH MY REVOLUTION
IN DANCE "
" YOU GOT TO HAVE A GIMMICK
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A CHANCE "
" SHE CAN UH "
" SHE CAN UH "
" SHE CAN UH UH UH "
" THEY'LL NEVER
MAKE HER RICH "
" ME, I UH "
" AND I UH "
" AND I UH UH UH "
" BUT I DO IT
WITH A SWITCH "
" I'M ELECTRIFYIN',
AND I AIN'T EVEN TRYIN' "
" I NEVER HAVE TO SWEAT
TO GET PAID "
" 'CAUSE IF YOU GOT A GIMMICK "
" GYPSY, GIRL,
YOU'VE GOT IT MADE "
" ALL THEM UH "
" AND THEM UH "
" AND THEM UH UH UH "
" AIN'T GONNA
SPELL SUCCESS "
" ME, I UH "
" AND I UH "
" AND I UH UH UH "
" BUT I DO IT
WITH FINESSE "
[BALLET MUSIC PLAYING]
" DRESSY TESSIE TURA
IS SO MUCH MORE DEMURER "
" THAN ALL THEM
OTHER LADIES BECAUSE "
" YOU GOT TO GET A GIMMICK
IF YOU WANT TO GET APPLAUSE "
" DO SOMETHING SPECIAL,
ANYTHING THAT'S FRESH'LL "
" EARN YOU
A BIG FAT CIGAR "
" YOU'RE MORE
THAN JUST A MIMIC "
" WHEN YOU GOT
A GIMMICK "
" TAKE A LOOK
HOW DIFFERENT WE ARE "
" IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT,
TWINKLE WHILE YOU SHAKE IT "
" IF YOU WANT TO GRIND IT,
WAIT TILL YOU'VE REFINED IT "
" IF YOU WANT TO BUMP IT,
BUMP IT WITH A TRUMPET "
" GET YOURSELF A GIMMICK
AND YOU, TOO "
" CAN BE A STAR ""
BRING IN NUMBER FOUR.
I TOLD YOU NO NUMBER FOUR.
HEY, YOU SEEN AMANDA?
SHE MUST BE PACKING.
AIN'T YOUR ACT
THROUGH?
YOU BET--
THROUGH, FINISHED, OVER.
HEY, I'VE BEEN HUNTING
FOR YOU.
HERE.
OH, HERBIE.
IT'S LIKE FOR A FUNERAL.
IT'S
FOR THE WEDDING.
WE WANT YOU TO BE
BRIDESMAID, AMANDA.
NO. IT'S AGNES AGAIN.
YOU'LL BE HAPPIER
AS AGNES, AMANDA.
OH, YOU'RE LEAVING?
YEAH.
I HAVE TO GO HOME
AND LET MY HAIR GROW OUT.
OH, YOU POOR KID.
[PASTEY]
COME ON, TESSIE.
SHAKE IT UP.
WELL,
FOR THE LAST TIME...
" MEET YOU
ON THE CORNER "
" IN A HALF HOUR ""
HA HA HA!
[CRYING]
OHH.
TESSIE!
I'M COMING,
YOU CREEP.
AND NOW, MISS TESSIE TURA!
[WHISTLING]
[APPLAUSE]
WHY AREN'T YOU NERVOUS?
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO NERVOUS
IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN
MARRIED BEFORE.
SHE'S NEVER BEEN
MARRIED LIKE THIS--
FOR KEEPS AND FOREVER.
AIN'T YOU NERVOUS?
SURE.
WHY DO I STAY
IN THIS BUSINESS?
IT'S ALWAYS
A HEADACHE.
SHH. THEY CAN HEAR YOU.
IT'S MY THEATER,
RIGHT?
[CIGAR]
LAST SHOW,
NO TALKING WOMAN.
IF THAT CRAZY BROAD
WASN'T HERE,
WHY DID YOU START?
[PASTEY]
SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING
TO THE DRUG STORE.
WHAT WAS SHE
ARRESTED FOR?
SHOPLIFTING?
NO, SOLICITING.
SHE ALWAYS
WAS GREEDY.
CUT THE SPOT.
SHOULD WE INVITE
THE MINISTER OUT AFTER?
IT'S THE STAR STRIP.
CUT IT.
THEY'LL YELL MURDER.
THE STAR'S THE NOVELTY.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
LET YOU STRIP?
MY DAUGHTER
CAN DO IT.
ROSE-LOUISE.
SINCE WHEN?
EVER SINCE
SHE'S SEEN IT DONE.
SHE DIDN'T LOOK BAD
EARLIER.
SHE'LL LOOK GREAT.
WHAT'S THE GIMMICK?
SHE'S YOUNG.
YOU GOT ANY BETTER IDEAS?
SHE BETTER
GET READY DAMN QUICK.
IT'S THE STAR SPOT.
YOU TELLING ME--
WITH
THE STAR SALARY.
IF WE KEEP HER.
YOU WILL.
SHE'S GOING
TO BE WONDERFUL.
I KNEW SOMETHING
WOULD TURN UP.
WHERE'S THAT DRESS?
IT WILL WORK PERFECT FOR YOU.
COME ON.
GET YOUR MAKE-UP ON.
OH, SILLY, YOU AIN'T
REALLY GONNA STRIP.
JUST WALK AROUND
IN TIME TO THE MUSIC.
DROP A SHOULDER STRAP.
YOU'RE A LADY LIKE
HERBIE SAYS YOU ARE.
THEY'LL THINK
IT'S A FAVOR
EVEN IF YOU
SHOW THEM YOUR KNEE.
LOUISE,
IT'S THE STAR SPOT.
I ALWAYS KNEW
WE'D BE A STAR.
BABY, IT'S ALL RIGHT
TO WALK OUT
WHEN THEY WANT YOU,
BUT YOU CAN'T
WALK OUT NOW
WHEN AFTER ALL THIS,
WE'RE STILL A FLOP.
THAT'S QUITTING.
WE CAN'T QUIT
BECAUSE WE'RE A FLOP.
LOUISE,
DON'T BE LIKE JUNE.
JUST DO THIS SO WE CAN
WALK AWAY PROUD
BECAUSE WE MADE IT.
MAYBE ONLY IN BURLESQUE,
MAYBE ONLY A SECOND-RATE
BURLESQUE AT THAT--
BUT LET'S WALK AWAY...
A STAR.
THERE AIN'T ENOUGH TIME
TO FINISH THE DRESS,
BUT IT WILL DO.
HERE'S SOME MATERIAL.
DIDN'T I TELL YOU
YOU WERE BORN LUCKY?
YOU CAN DROP THEM
SO THEY THINK YOU'RE
TAKING SOMETHING OFF.
NOT TOO MUCH MAKE-UP--
YOUNG AND GIRLISH, PURE.
DON'T SMEAR THAT JUNK
ALL OVER LIKE THEY DO.
KEEP YOUR MOUTH
THE SAME.
NO ROUGE,
NO BEAUTY MARKS.
YOU BE A LADY--
GRAND...ELEGANT...
WITH A CLASSY,
LADYLIKE WALK.
SHOES!
OH, MY GOD--SHOES.
OH, WELL...
YOU COULD WEAR THESE--
THESE OLD SILVER ONES
I BORROWED FROM TESSIE.
THEY'LL DO
FOR THIS PERFORMANCE.
COME ON. GET INTO THEM.
OH, NO!
YOUR HAIR'S WRONG.
YOU CAN'T LET IT
HANG THERE LIKE SPAGHETTI.
PUT IT UP.
IT'S GOT TO HAVE CLASS.
THANK GOD THE LORD
GAVE US GOOD COLOR
AND YOU WASHED IT
TODAY.
MAYBE WE NEED
A COUPLE OF FEATHERS, HUH?
NO. THAT'S WHAT
THEY ALL DO.
JEWELRY, JEWELRY...
NO. LET TESSIE
AND THE OTHERS
WEAR VULGAR JUNK.
SHE GOES ON
IN FIVE MINUTES.
SHE'LL BE THERE.
SHE'LL BE THERE!
COME ON.
GET INTO THE DRESS.
WHAT ARE THESE?
OH, MY WEDDING PRESENT
FROM TESSIE.
GOOD FOR A LADY.
YEAH, WEAR THEM.
LET'S SEE. WHAT ELSE?
MUSIC!
HMM. SPANISH...
COW...MILITARY...NO.
SAY! SAY, YOU CAN DO JUNE'S
LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU NUMBER.
I'LL TELL THE CONDUCTOR
TO REPEAT 2 1/2 CHORUSES SLOW.
JUST WALK AND DIP.
MY GIRL'S A LADY.
MAKE THEM
BEG FOR MORE.
THEN DENY THEM.
LET'S SEE.
ANYTHING ELSE?
WHERE YOU BEEN?
OUT FRONT?
NO, I GOT SICK
AND THREW UP.
BUT YOU FEEL
BETTER NOW.
NO.
HERBIE, I HAD TO.
THAT'S WHY I'M LEAVING.
I APOLOGIZE.
NO, LET ME,
FOR MY RESEMBLANCE
TO A MOUSE...
NO, A WORM THE WAY
I'VE CRAWLED AFTER YOU.
NO MORE. I WON'T.
I WAS EVEN GOING
TO CRAWL AWAY
RATHER THAN TELL YOU
WE'RE FINISHED.
TELL ME AFTER
WE'RE MARRIED.
WE'RE NEVER
GETTING MARRIED.
SURE, WE ARE.
FIRST THING
IN THE MORNING.
NEVER!
NOT IF YOU BEGGED!
I STILL LOVE YOU,
BUT THEY COULDN'T
MAKE YOU A WIFE.
I'LL BE A MAN
IF IT KILLS ME.
YOU'RE KILLING ME.
NOBODY CAN KILL YOU.
YOU'RE JEALOUS,
JUST LIKE EVERY MAN
I'VE EVER KNOWN...
JEALOUS BECAUSE
MY GIRLS COME FIRST.
THEY ALWAYS DID.
THEY ALWAYS WILL.
WHY DID JUNE LEAVE?
BE QUIET.
SHE DIDN'T WANT THE ACT
ANY MORE THAN LOUISE.
LOUISE DOES.
SHE'LL LEAVE
LIKE JUNE DID.
NEVER.
SHE'LL BE A STAR.
SHE'LL BE A STAR
IF IT KILLS YOU AND HER!
SHE'LL BE A STAR
SOMEPLACE.
WHAT ABOUT
WHEN SHE GETS MARRIED?
SHE WON'T
MARRY FOR YEARS.
SHE'S A BABY.
SURE.
HER CAREER WILL
ALWAYS COME FIRST.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT IS RIGHT.
HERBIE...
WHY DOES EVERYBODY
WALK OUT?
MAYBE LOUISE WON'T.
DON'T LEAVE, HERBIE.
I NEED YOU.
WHAT FOR?
A MILLION THINGS.
JUST ONE
WOULD BE BETTER.
GOOD-BYE, HONEY.
BE A GOOD GIRL.
YOU GO TO HELL.
GET HER MUSIC
TO THE CONDUCTOR.
I JUST HOPE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
" LUCKY "
" YOU'RE A MAN
WHO LIKES CHILDREN "
" THAT'S
AN IMPORTANT SIGN "
" LUCKY "
" I'M A WOMAN "
" FUNNY "
" SMALL AND FUNNY ""
I'LL TAKE THIS
TO THE...CONDUCTOR.
JUST REMEMBER
YOU'RE A LADY...
AND YOU ARE GOING
TO BE A STAR.
MAMMA...I'M PRETTY.
I'M A PRETTY GIRL, MAMMA.
[CHEERING]
LOOK.
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
GOOD LUCK, HONEY.
ARE YOU NERVOUS?
WHAT?
ARE YOU NERVOUS, BABY?
NO, MOTHER.
WICHITA'S ONE AND ONLY
BURLESQUE THEATER PRESENTS...
MAMMA!
MISS GYPSY ROSE LEE!
LOUISE.
[APPLAUSE]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
LET'S GO, HONEY!
TAKE IT OFF!
[SOFTLY]
" LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU "
WE CAN'T HEAR YOU!
" LET ME MAKE YOU SMILE "
SING OUT, LOUISE!
[SHOUTS FROM AUDIENCE]
" LET ME DO A FEW TRICKS "
" SOME OLD
AND THEN SOME NEW TRICKS "
" I'M VERY VERSATILE "
" AND IF YOU'RE REAL GOOD,
I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD "
" I WANT YOUR SPIRITS
TO CLIMB "
" SO LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU "
LET'S SEE SOME SKIN!
" AND WE'LL HAVE
A REAL GOOD TIME "
" YES, SIR "
" WE'LL...HAVE "
" A REAL GOOD TIME "
[WHISTLING]
WELL,
DO SOMETHING.
DIP!
TAKE SOMETHING OFF.
[AUDIENCE BOOING]
MAMMA.
WHERE YOU GOING?
A GLOVE!
WELL,
SAY SOMETHING.
HELLO.
HELLO!
EVERYBODY...
MY NAME IS...
GYPSY...ROSE...LEE.
[CHEERING]
WHAT'S YOURS?
BARNEY!
SIR.
MR. CONDUCTOR,
IF YOU PLEASE...
[MUSIC STARTS OVER]
" SO LET ME
ENTERTAIN YOU "
" AND WE'LL HAVE
A REAL GOOD TIME "
" YES, SIR "
" WE'LL...HAVE "
" A REAL GOOD TIME ""
THE ALHAMBRA THEATER
OF PHILADELPHIA
BRINGS YOU
OUR FEATURED ATTRACTION--
MISS GYPSY ROSE LEE!
" LET ME "
" ENTERTAIN YOU "
" LET ME...
MAKE YOU SMILE "
I'M BEGINNING
TO LIKE THIS.
MY MOTHER, WHO GOT ME
INTO THIS BUSINESS...
ALWAYS TOLD ME...
MAKE THEM BEG FOR MORE...
AND THEN DON'T
GIVE IT TO THEM.
BUT I'M NOT MY MOTHER.
SO, IF YOU BEG FOR MORE,
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.
" AND WE'LL HAVE
A REAL GOOD... "
BEG!
WE WANT MORE!
THE DIAMOND BURLESQUE
OF DETROIT PRESENTS
ANOTHER JEWEL
IN OUR GLITTERING CROWN!
MISS GYPSY ROSE LEE!
THE OLD HOWARD THEATRE
OF BOSTON
INVITES ALL YOU
FLOUNDERING FATHERS
TO THE MOST
SPECTACULAR EVENT--
MISS GYPSY ROSE LEE!
ALL RIGHT!
WHOO!
ALL RIGHT!
OH, YES!
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
WHEN BIG HATS GO OUT?
AND NOW, MINSKY'S
WORLD-FAMOUS BURLESQUE
PRESENTS THE QUEEN
OF THE STRIPTEASE,
THE INCOMPARABLE
MISS GYPSY ROSE LEE,
IN OUR SALUTE
TO THE GARDEN OF EDEN.
" AH AH AH "
" AH AH "
" AH AH AH
AH AH "
" AHH "
AH "
AH AH
" AH
" AHH "
" AHH ""
[APPLAUSE]
[PEOPLE WHISTLE]
PACK UP YOUR PETALS, GIRLS,
AND BACK TO THE GARDEN.
[LAUGHTER]
BONSOIR, MESSIEURS...
ET MESSIEURS.
JE M'APPELLE...
GYPSY...
ROSE...
LEE.
AND THAT CONCLUDES
MY ENTIRE PERFORMANCE IN FRENCH.
[LAUGHTER]
I'VE BEEN
TOO BUSY LEARNING...
GREEK.
WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT?
SOME MAN ACCUSED ME
OF BEING AN ECDYSIAST.
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS?
NO.
NO.
DO YOU?
NO.
DO YOU?
NO.
YOU DO.
NO.
HE'S EMBARRASSED.
DON'T BE EMBARRASSED.
I LIKE MEN WITHOUT HAIR.
WHOO!
HA HA HA!
AN ECDYSIAST
IS ONE WHO,
OR THAT WHICH,
SHEDS ITS SKIN.
IN VULGAR PARLANCE...
A STRIPPER.
BUT I'M NOT A STRIPPER.
[DRUM ROLL]
AT THESE PRICES...
I'M AN ECDYSIAST!
" AND IF YOU'RE REAL GOOD "
" I'LL MAKE YOU
FEEL GOOD "
" I WANT YOUR SPIRITS
TO CLIMB "
" LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU "
" AND WE'LL "
" HAVE "
" A REAL GOOD "
" TIME ""
WHOO WHOO!
YEAH!
BRAVO!
BRAVO!
WHOO!
BRAVO!
SURE, I SAW THAT SIGN.
IF I CAN READ FINE PRINT,
I CAN CERTAINLY READ
LETTERS 2 FEET HIGH.
"THE MOTHER
OF MISS GYPSY ROSE LEE
IS NOT ALLOWED BACKSTAGE."
HA! I TORE THAT SIGN DOWN
AND SET CHOWSIE III ON IT.
THAT DOG'S A TROUPER.
SHE KNEW WHAT TO DO.
TAKE MORE THAN SIGNS
TO KEEP ME OUT.
" HMM HMM ""
THAT COMES DOWN.
IT'S TO REMIND YOU
OF YOUR GOAL--
ACTRESS,
NOT CHEAP STRIPPER.
JUNE'S THE ACTRESS,
MOTHER.
AND I'M NOT
A CHEAP STRIPPER.
I'M THE HIGHEST-PAID
IN THE BUSINESS.
YOU WON'T BE READY
WHEN VAUDEVILLE COMES BACK.
NO, I'LL BE DEAD.
RENEE, TELL SAM HE CAN
LOCK THE ANIMALS UP
FOR THE NIGHT.
I'LL TELL HIM.
MOTHER, PLEASE.
RENEE, BRING IN
MY PRESS AGENT
WHEN HE ARRIVES.
OUI, MADAME.
AREN'T YOU GOING TO
TAKE YOUR BATH?
YES, MOTHER.
WHY ARE YOU
FIXING YOUR FACE?
A PHOTOGRAPHER'S
COMING.
WHERE'S HE
PHOTOGRAPHING YOU--
THE TUB?
EVENTUALLY.
HUH! LOUISE!
IT'S FOR VOGUE.
LOUISE! I'LL GET OUT
OUR SCRAPBOOKS.
PHIL'S TAKEN CARE
OF THAT.
HE'S A ROTTEN
PRESS AGENT.
HE NEVER TELLS THEM
WE HEADLINED
THE ORPHEUM CIRCUIT.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
I'VE GOT IT.
HELLO?
[INTIMATELY]
HELLO.
HA HA HA!
IT'S DIFFICULT RIGHT NOW.
I'M NOT LEAVING.
I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE PARTY.
HA HA HA!
I PROMISE.
A BIENTOT.
A BIEN WHAT?
I GUESS I'M BEING
A LITTLE MUCH,
BUT, MAMMA, I LOVE IT.
ALL RIGHT.
WHO'S GIVING
THE PARTY?
SOME FRIENDS.
IN THE OLD DAYS,
I WAS ALWAYS
INVITED FIRST.
I WOULDN'T GO
EVEN IF I DID HAVE
SOMETHING TO WEAR.
I GOT TO THINK UP
A NEW STRIP FOR US.
MOTHER, WE'RE STILL STUCK
WITH THAT WIND MACHINE
YOU BOUGHT TO BLOW
MY CLOTHES OFF.
ACTUALLY, I'M DOING
A NEW NUMBER ON SATURDAY.
WHAT IS IT?
YOU'LL SEE.
I'LL SEE?
LET ME SURPRISE YOU.
THESE DAYS,
YOU'RE ONE SURPRISE
AFTER ANOTHER!
[SIGH]
WE HAVE TO GO
SHOPPING TOMORROW
FOR THE MATERIAL
FOR THE GOWN.
I'VE GOT
A FRENCH LESSON.
WELL, I'LL GO ALONE.
ANY PARTICULAR COLOR
YOU WANT?
I'VE STARTED MAKING
THE GOWN.
OH.
WELL, UH, HMM...
I'D BETTER RUN
YOUR BATH.
THAT'S WHY
I HAVE A MAID.
LET ME DO SOMETHING,
DAMN IT!
WHAT, MOTHER?
A MILLION THINGS.
A MILLION THINGS.
I'M NOT A BABY.
NEITHER AM I.
DON'T TAKE THAT TONE.
YOUR SISTER'S VOICE
USED TO GET THAT EDGE.
I AM NOT JUNE.
YOU'RE NOT LOUISE,
EITHER!
NEITHER ARE YOU!
YES, I AM--
MORE THAN YOU,
GYPSY ROSE LEE,
WITH YOUR
DIRTY PICTURES
FOR VOGUE
AND MAIDS
AND PRESS AGENTS
AND FANCY FRIENDS
WITH FANCY PARTIES.
THEY HAPPEN TO BE--
THEY LAUGH AT ME!
THEY DON'T LAUGH.
THEY--
THEY DO! YOU DON'T
WANT ME BACKSTAGE
SO I WON'T
HEAR THEM LAUGH.
THEY'RE LAUGHING
AT YOU, TOO--
YOU, THE BURLESQUE QUEEN
WHO SPEAKS LOUSY FRENCH
AND READS BOOK REVIEWS
LIKE THEY WAS BOOKS.
TURN IT OFF, MOTHER.
TO THEM,
YOU'RE THIS YEAR'S
NOVELTY ACT.
WHEN THE BILL
IS CHANGED--
I SAID,
TURN IT OFF!
NOBODY LAUGHS AT ME,
BECAUSE I LAUGH FIRST--
AT ME.
ME...
FROM SEATTLE.
ME, WITH NO EDUCATION.
ME, WITH NO TALENT,
AS YOU'VE KEPT REMINDING ME
MY WHOLE LIFE.
HA!
WELL, LOOK AT ME NOW--
A STAR!
LOOK AT HOW I LIVE.
LOOK AT MY FRIENDS.
LOOK AT WHERE I'M GOING.
I'M NOT STAYING
IN BURLESQUE.
I'M MOVING!
MAYBE UP, MAYBE DOWN,
BUT WHEREVER IT IS,
I'M ENJOYING IT.
MAMMA, I'M HAVING
THE TIME OF MY LIFE
BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME,
ITIS MY LIFE.
I LOVE IT,
AND I'LL BE DAMNED
IF YOU'RE GOING TO
TAKE IT AWAY.
I AM...
GYPSY ROSE LEE!
AND I LOVE HER.
IF YOU DON'T,
YOU CAN CLEAR OUT RIGHT NOW.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
YOUR PRESS AGENT
IS HERE
WITH A PHOTOGRAPHER.
TELL HIM I'LL BE READY
IN A MINUTE.
OUI, MADAME.
[SIGH]
MAMMA, WE CAN'T
GO SHOUTING
SEVEN PERFORMANCES
OF THIS A WEEK.
THE WHOLE FAMILY
SHOUTS.
IT COMES
FROM OUR LIVING
SO NEAR
THE RAILROAD TRACKS.
I'M GETTING AN ULCER.
YOU THINK I'M NOT?
YES, I THINK
YOU'RE NOT.
IF YOU WANT AN ULCER,
GET YOUR OWN.
YOU CAN'T HAVE MINE.
EVERYBODY'S
GOT STOMACH TROUBLE
BUT ME.
HA HA!
LOUISE,
LET'S FORGET IT.
NO, LET'S FINISH IT.
I GOT TO FEED
CHOWSIE.
YOU FOUGHT
YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
I WISH YOU'D RELAX.
YOU NEED
MORE MASCARA.
MAMMA, YOU'VE GOT TO
LET GO OF ME!
LET GO?
I'LL GIVE YOU
ANYTHING.
YOU NEED ME.
A HOUSE, A FARM,
A SCHOOL--
A DRAMATIC SCHOOL
FOR KIDS.
YOU'RE GREAT WITH KIDS.
I'M NOT
AN OLD WORKHORSE
YOU CAN TURN OUT
TO PASTURE
BECAUSE YOU THINK
YOU'RE RIDING HIGH
ON YOUR OWN!
NO KID DOES IT
ALL ON HIS OWN.
I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE.
IF I FLOP,
I FLOP ON MY OWN.
GYPS,
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
"SO LONG, ROSE."
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAYS.
"DON'T SLAM THE DOOR
AS YOU LEAVE."
HELLO, ROSE.
GYPS, BABY,
MAY I PRESENT
MONSIEUR
BOUGERON-COCHON?
ENCHANTE, MONSIEUR.
ENCHANTE, MADEMOISELLE.
LET'S MAKE WITH
THEOISEAU, KIDDIES.
HMM?
ONE BEFORE
THE PLUNGE.
FINE.
ALL RIGHT, MISS.
JUST ONE THING
I WANT TO KNOW--
ALL THE WORKING
AND PUSHING
AND FINAGLING,
THE SCHEMING
AND SCRIMPING,
ALL THE LYING
IN BED NIGHTS
FIGURING
HOW WE'LL GET
TO THE NEXT TOWN,
HOW WE'LL ALL EAT
ON A BUCK,
HOW I'LL MAKE AN ACT
OUT OF NOTHING--
WHY DID I DO IT?
YOU SAY I FOUGHT
MY WHOLE LIFE.
I FOUGHT
YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
SO TELL ME NOW--
WHAT DID
I DO IT FOR?
I THOUGHT YOU DID IT
FOR ME, MAMMA.
COME ON.
SMILE, GYPS.
SHOW US
YOUR TALENT.
THAT'S IT!
"I THOUGHT YOU
DID IT FOR ME, MAMMA.
"I THOUGHT YOU MADE
A NO-TALENT OX INTO A STAR
BECAUSE YOU LIKE DOING THINGS
THE HARD WAY, MAMMA."
AND YOU HAVEN'T
ANY TALENT--
NOT WHAT I CALL TALENT!
TALENT FOR THE DEAF, DUMB,
AND BLIND, MAYBE.
NOT AN OUNCE OF IT,
MISS GYPSY ROSE LEE!
I MADE YOU!
AND YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT I DID IT FOR?
BECAUSE I WAS BORN TOO SOON
AND STARTED TOO LATE!
THAT'S WHY.
WITH WHAT I GOT IN ME,
I COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER
THAN ANY OF YOU!
WHAT I GOT IN ME,
WHAT I'VE BEEN HOLDING DOWN
INSIDE OF ME...
OH, IF I EVER LET IT OUT,
THERE WOULDN'T BE SIGNS
BIG ENOUGH!
THERE WOULDN'T BE LIGHTS
BRIGHT ENOUGH!
HERE SHE IS, BOYS!
HERE SHE IS,
WORLD!
HERE'S ROSE!
" CURTAIN UP "
" LIGHT THE LIGHTS "
PLAY IT, BOYS.
" YOU EITHER GOT IT "
" OR YOU AIN'T "
" AND, BOYS, I GOT IT "
YOU LIKE IT?
YEAH!
WELL, I GOT IT.
" SOME PEOPLE GOT IT
AND MAKE IT PAY "
" SOME PEOPLE
CAN'T EVEN GIVE IT AWAY "
" THIS PEOPLE'S GOT IT "
" AND THIS PEOPLE'S
SPREADIN' IT AROUND "
" YOU EITHER HAVE IT "
" OR YOU'VE HAD IT! "
HELLO, EVERYBODY!
MY NAME IS ROSE.
WHAT'S YOURS?
HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM EGG ROLLS,
MR. GOLDSTONE?
" HOLD YOUR HATS
AND HALLELUJAH "
" MAMMA'S GONNA
SHOW IT TO YA "
READY OR NOT,
HERE COMES MAMMA!
" MAMMA'S TALKIN' LOUD "
" MAMMA'S DOIN' FINE "
" MAMMA'S GETTIN' HOT "
" MAMMA'S GOIN' STRONG "
" MAMMA'S MOVIN' ON "
" MAMMA'S ALL ALONE "
" MAMMA DOESN'T CARE "
" MAMMA'S LETTIN' LOOSE "
" MAMMA'S GOT THE STUFF "
" MAMMA'S LETTIN' GO "
MAMMA!
" MAMMA'S GOT THE STUFF "
" MAMMA'S GOT TO MOVE "
" MAMMA'S GOT TO GO "
MAMMA...
MAMMA.
" MAMMA'S GOT TO LET GO "
WHY DID I DO IT?
WHAT DID IT GET ME?
" SCRAPBOOKS FULL OF ME
IN THE BACKGROUND "
" GIVE 'EM LOVE,
AND WHAT DOES IT GET YOU? "
" WHAT DOES IT GET YOU? "
" ONE QUICK LOOK
AS EACH OF 'EM LEAVES YOU "
" ALL YOUR LIFE,
AND WHAT DOES IT GET YOU? "
" "THANKS A LOT," AND OUT
WITH THE GARBAGE "
" THEY TAKE BOWS,
AND YOU'RE BATTIN' ZERO "
" I HAD A DREAM "
" I DREAMED IT
FOR YOU, JUNE "
" IT WASN'T FOR ME, HERBIE "
" AND IF IT WASN'T FOR ME "
" THEN WHERE WOULD YOU BE "
" MISS GYPSY ROSE LEE? "
" WELL, SOMEONE TELL ME,
WHEN IS IT MY TURN? "
" DON'T I GET
A DREAM FOR MYSELF? "
" STARTING NOW,
IT'S GONNA BE MY TURN "
" GANGWAY, WORLD,
GET OFF OF MY RUNWAY "
" STARTING NOW,
I BAT A THOUSAND "
" THIS TIME, BOYS,
I'M TAKING THE BOWS "
" AND EVERYTHING'S
COMING UP ROSE "
" EVERYTHING'S COMING UP
ROSES "
" EVERYTHING'S
COMING UP ROSES "
" THIS TIME FOR ME "
" FOR ME "
" FOR ME "
" FOR ME "
FOR ME!
FOR ME!
" FOR ME! ""
YEAH!
JUST...
JUST TRYING OUT A NEW...
A FEW IDEAS
YOU MIGHT WANT TO USE.
YOU REALLY
WOULD HAVE BEEN
SOMETHING, MOTHER.
THINK SO?
IF YOU HAD HAD
SOMEONE TO PUSH YOU
LIKE I HAD.
IF I COULD'VE BEEN,
I WOULD'VE BEEN,
AND THAT'S SHOW BUSINESS.
[SIGH]
I GUESS I DID DO IT
FOR ME.
WHY, MAMMA?
JUST WANTED
TO BE NOTICED.
LIKE I WANTED YOU
TO NOTICE ME.
I STILL DO, MAMMA.
IT'S O.K., MAMMA.
IT'S O.K., ROSE.
SAY...
YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU SHOULD SPEAK FRENCH.
YOU'RE COMING
TO THAT PARTY WITH ME.
NO.
COME ON.
NO. LIKE THIS?
YOU CAN WEAR MY FUR.
I'VE GOT A STOLE.
WELL, MAYBE JUST
FOR AN HOUR OR TWO.
THIS LOOKS
BETTER ON ME
THAN IT DOES ON YOU.
FUNNY HOW
WE CAN BOTH WEAR
THE SAME SIZE.
ESPECIALLY IN MINK.
I HAD A DREAM
LAST NIGHT.
IT WAS A POSTER
OF A MOTHER
AND DAUGHTER--
LIKE THAT LADIES'
MAGAZINE COVER.
YES, MOTHER.
IT WAS YOU AND ME,
WEARING THE SAME GOWN.
IT WAS AN AD FOR MINSKY,
AND THE HEADLINE SAID,
"MADAME ROSE..."
"AND HER DAUGHTER
GYPSY!"
HA HA HA!
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.
CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1993
RHI ENTERTAINMENT, INC.
PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS
PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE