Hannah And Her Sisters
Script - Dialogue Transcript
Voila! Finally, the Hannah And Her Sisters
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Woody Allen movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Hannah And Her Sisters. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
God, she's beautiful.She's got the prettiest eyes.She looks so sexy in that sweater.I just want to be alonewith her and kiss her...... and tell her how much I love her.Stop it, idiot.She's your wife's sister.But I can't help it.I'm consumed by her.It's been months now.I dream about her.I think about her at the office.Oh, Lee...... what am I gonna do?I hear myself mooning over youand it's disgusting.Before, when she squeezedpast me...... and I smelledthat perfume on her...Jesus, I thoughtI was gonna swoon.Easy. You're a dignifiedfinancial adviser.It doesn't look good to swoon.
Elliot, have you tried these?
These are wonderful.
Holly and her friend made them.
Fantastic. Your sister
is an unbelievable cook.
I know.
She has all the cooking charm.
- No, you've got talent.
- I've eaten five.
Holly, open a restaurant.
We practically are.
Not a restaurant, but April
and I are gonna do some catering.
- You're kidding!
- No, we decided.
Perfect.
We like to cook for friends.
Until an acting job comes
we could do parties.
- Great. That's where your talent lies.
- I know.
Can I speak to you privately?
I'm her husband.
She tells me anything.
I have to borrow more.
Don't get upset.
- I never get upset.
- This is the last time, I promise.
- Don't insult me.
- I'll pay it all back.
- I know. How much do you need?
- Two thousand dollars.
April and I have this catering idea.
It'll be great.
You admit we're great cooks.
There's things I have to buy
and some old debts.
Are we talking about cocaine again?
I swear. We've already got
requests to do a few parties.
Obviously I'm not gonna
be a caterer forever.
We still audition.
Something could come up.
My days are free for my class.
I haven't done drugs in a year.
Mom and Dad are floating down
memory lane again.
Have you tried the shrimp?
You've outdone yourself.
I need an antihistamine for Mom's
asthma. She's turning into "Camille."
- She's always Camille.
- At least she isn't drinking.
- Doesn't she look great?
- She knows it too. She's flirting.
Maybe when she's she'll stop
straightening her garter belt.
- Where's the antihistamine?
- Ask Elliot. He's got them.
- Frederick didn't come.
- Does he ever?
He's such an angry...
Such a depressive...
I thought she was moving out.
- Watch out, you guys.
- The kids are so adorable.
It gets so lonely on holidays.
Oh, gosh.
That's why I invited Phil Gamisch.
- Hannah, he's such a loser!
- He's not a loser.
- He's a headmaster.
- He reminds me of Ichabod Crane.
His Adam's apple jumps
when he's excited.
He's better than your ex-husband.
- He's not a dope addict.
- Give me a break.
Am I interrupting any sister talk?
There are no interesting
single men here.
It's terrible!
Maybe April would like Phil.
Phil, tall guy.
I met Phil.
He looks like Ichabod Crane?
- I love that. That's my type.
- I don't believe it.
We mustn't get discouraged.
Hannah will invite some men over
who don't look like Ichabod.
Maybe at Christmas or New Year's.
If not this New Year's,
maybe next New Year's. Ouch!
Must be here someplace.
I love that book, The Easter Parade.
You were right.
It had meaning for me.
- How's Frederick? He didn't come.
- One of his moods.
Although it wasn't a bad week.
He sold a picture.
One of his better drawings,
a beautiful nude study.
It was of me.
It's a funny feeling to know...
...you're hung naked
in a stranger's home.
But you can't tell it's me...
You're turning all red.
Really?
- What else? What are you up to?
- My unemployment's running out.
I thought of taking
some courses at Columbia.
- Like...?
- I don't know exactly.
Sociology, psychology.
I might like to work with children.
I always have clients
who are furnishing places.
Some might be interested
in buying art. Shall I call you?
Frederick would be
grateful for a sale.
Guys? Dinner's ready.
Doesn't she look pretty?
I bumped into your ex-husband.
He's crazy as ever.
He was getting a blood test.
Mickey, the hypochondriac.
Could he handle real illness?
Let's go have dinner.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Dad.
- Dad!
- No, now...
- We're starving.
- This is a toast.
This is a toast.
You know, this beautiful
Thanksgiving dinner...
...was all prepared by Hannah.
A little help from Mary,
also Holly and April.
No, you did it.
And we drink to her,
and we all congratulate her...
...on her wonderful accomplishment
during this last year:
Her great success
in A Doll's House.
- Hooray!
- Bravo!
I played Nora, I hate to tell you
what year, and it's difficult...
...to behave like Torvald's
"little chipmunk"...
...without making a perfect ass
out of yourself.
I think that lbsen would've
been damn proud of our Hannah.
Speech!
No, I've been very, very lucky.
When I had the kids,
I stopped working...
...and devoted myself to the family.
But I've always hoped
that some little gem...
...would tempt me back on the stage.
I got that out of my system...
...and I can go back to
what makes me happiest.
Bravo!
Is it my imagination,or does Elliot have a crush on me?It's funny.I've had that thought before.He pays a lot of attention to me.And he blushed tonightwhen we were alone.I wonder if he and Hannah are happy.It's funny. I still feela little buzz from his flirting.
Want some coffee or tea?
No, thank you.
- How about something to eat?
- No, nothing.
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.
What am I gonna do with you?
God...
And why didn't you come?
We all had a terrific time.
I'm going through a period
where I can't be around people.
- I didn't want to abuse anyone.
- You wouldn't. They're so sweet.
You're the only person
I can be with...
...who I look forward to being with.
You're too harsh with everyone,
you know that.
- Isn't it enough that I can love you?
- You're a puzzle.
So sweet with me and so
contemptuous of everyone else.
There was a time when you were happy
to be only with me.
You wanted to learn
about poetry, about music.
Have I taught you everything
I can give? I don't think so.
Elliot might have
a couple of clients for you.
I'm sure those morons
have deep feelings for art.
You never know. He's just trying
to do the nice thing.
- Because he likes you.
- Me?
Yeah, Elliot lusts after you.
Based on what? You never see him.
Based on...
...whenever you see him you come
home with books he's recommended.
No, he's my sister's husband.
If you gave him half a chance,
you'd like him.
He's a glorified accountant,
and he's after you.
And I prefer to sell my work
to people who appreciate it.
You understand?
- They won't let us do the sketch?
- It's too dirty.
But we showed it to them
in rehearsal.
Mickey, half-hour to air.
- The show's five minutes short.
- How can it be short?
Now we'll be minutes short.
They can't do that.
- Our ratings are low.
- I have such a migraine.
We better go
to Ronnie's dressing room.
He must've taken Quaaludes.
He can't do the show.
Why me, Lord? What did l...?
Standards and practices?
- Why is the sketch dirty?
- Child molestation is touchy.
Half the country's doing it.
- But you name names.
- No, we say "The pope."
That sketch cannot go on the air.
Who changed my sketch about the PLO?
- I had to cut four lines.
- The premise is ruined.
You're crazy. It's not so delicate.
I don't want anyone tampering
without telling me.
You want them cut,
I'll cut them myself.
Listen, instead of the molestation
sketch, why don't we repeat...
...the Reagan homosexual dance number?
I don't feel good.
What did you do, swallow a drugstore?
I lost my voice.
Ronnie, you have to go on
in minutes.
Does anybody got a Tagamet?
My ulcer.
You want a Quaalude?
This show's ruining my health.My ex-partner moves to California.Every stupid show he producesturns into a big hit.What am I gonna do with my life?I gotta remember to seemy ex-wife tomorrow.
Hi! Glad you could
put in an appearance.
I got two minutes.
The show's killing me.
I got a million appointments.
- I gotta see...
- Two minutes on your sons' birthday.
Happy birthday, fellas.
Guys, look. Daddy brought presents.
A little hug? What is this?
How about some action?
How is everything?
Everything's good.
Open the presents.
Let me get some reaction.
- How's Elliot?
- He's fine.
I'm trying to convince him
to produce a play.
That'll be terrific.
I like him, he's a sweet guy.
Isn't that a great mitt?
Because he's a loser.
He's awkward and clumsy like me.
I always like
an under-confident person.
He wanted a mitt.
- You've had good taste in husbands.
- Thanks. That's a beauty.
Go over there. Come on, hurry.
Go out by the Sung vase
and catch this.
Watch the picture!
Hannah's sweet. Although sometimesI still do get angry.At least I'm not payingchild support.I hope there's nothingphysically wrong with me.
What's the problem this time?
This time I really think
I have something.
It's not like that adenoidal thing,
where I'd had them out.
I saw your father.
He complained of chest pains.
This guy's the real
hypochondriac of the family.
- You mentioned you'd had dizziness.
- Yes, and I'm developing...
...a hearing loss in my right...
Left ear.
Sorry, my right...
Right or left. I can't remember.
Let's take a look.
You have had a significant drop
in the high decibel range.
Really?
You been exposed to a loud noise
or a virus?
I've been perfectly healthy.
I always imagine I have things.
When did you first notice this?
About a month ago. What do I have?
You've had dizzy spells.
What about ringing and buzzing?
Yes, now that you mention it,
I have buzzing and also ringing.
- Ringing and buzzing. Am I going deaf?
- It's just one ear.
Is it healthier
to have problems in both ears?
Make an appointment at the
hospital to run some tests.
The hospital? What kind of tests?
Don't get alarmed.
These are just more sophisticated
tests. It's nothing.
Then why go to the hospital?
I hear fine.
So I'm weak in the high decibels.
Don't panic.
I just wanna rule out some things.
- Like what?
- It's nothing. Will you trust me?
Hello, Dr. Wilkes?
This is Mickey Saxe.
I wanna ask you a question.
Sure. What's up?
If you have a hearing loss
in one ear...
...and it's not from a virus
or a loud noise...
...what are the possibilities?
Anything. Often it's hereditary.
Flu, even a small noise will do it.
Right, but nothing worse?
I guess the dark side
of the spectrum is a brain tumor.
Really?
- Here's the new pages.
- Did Cards get these?
- Not yet.
- Let's hope it's good.
Yeah, really.
We'll be down in a minute, okay?
Mickey, what's the matter with you?
I feel dizzy. I don't feel well.
Do you hear a ringing?
Is there a ringing?
- Yeah, I hear it. Hello?
- Not that.
Yeah, we're gonna be working late.
No, we'll order out.
If I have a tumor,
I don't know what I'll do.
He didn't say you had a tumor.
They don't tell you.
Sometimes the weaker ones will panic.
- But not you.
- Oh, God. You hear a buzzing?
Come on, we got a show to do.
- I can't focus.
- But there's nothing wrong.
Then why does he want more tests?
He has to rule out things.
- Like what?
- I don't know. Cancer.
Don't say that.
I don't wanna hear that word.
But you don't have symptoms.
I got the classic symptoms
of a brain tumor.
Two months ago
it was a malignant melanoma.
The sudden appearance
of a black spot on my back.
- It was on your shirt.
- How was I to know?
We've got to make decisions.
I can't think.
This morning I was so happy.
- I don't know what went wrong.
- You were miserable.
We got bad reviews.
The sponsors are furious.
I was happy,
but I just didn't realize I was.
These are delicious! What are they?
Those are quail eggs.
Aren't they good?
My friend April makes those.
Try a shrimp puff.
- That looks good.
- I make those.
Excuse me. Thank you.
- The stroganoff is ready.
- We're a hit!
In this. Yesterday, I auditioned.
- That wasn't a hit.
- You'll get five jobs next week.
- Are there any more clams?
- A few. You like them?
- I can't resist.
- How flattering.
- Did you try the shrimp?
- You're too attractive to be caterers.
- We're actresses.
- Your first job?
- Is the food that bad?
- Not at all.
We need more sauce
for the lasagna. Hi.
You're an actress
with a flair for shrimp.
The shrimp puffs are Holly's.
I do the crepes caviar.
And the quail's responsible
for the eggs.
I stole you a couple of extra clams.
- Incidentally, I'm David Tolchin.
- April Knox, hi.
You're Holly.
We're the Stanislavski
Catering Company.
I'll tell you the truth.
I was bored stiff by the party.
We're more interesting?
I'll listen to Aida,
if I'm not in your way.
Not at all.
We saw Pavarotti in Ernani
at the Met, and I cried.
I cry at the opera.
I go limp in the last scene
in La Traviata.
Me too.
I have a private box at the Met.
I bring my bottle of wine,
I watch and I cry. Disgusting.
- What do you do?
- I'm an architect.
What do you build?
- Are you really interested?
- Yeah.
What time do you get off?
- It's the red one?
- It's magnificent.
The design's noncontextual.
I wanted to keep
the street atmosphere...
...on the proportions
and the material.
- That's unpolished red granite.
- Is it?
- It has an organic quality.
- Right.
Entirely interdependent,
if you know what I mean.
I can't put it into words.
The important thing is, it breathes.
April, people pass by vital
structures all the time.
They never appreciate them.
You tune into your environment.
- It's important.
- What are your favorite buildings?
You wanna see some?
Well, let's do it.
It's just so romantic.
I wanna open the French doors...
- It's French.
- It is. It's romantic.
And it's got a handsome partner
sitting right beside it.
Your eye goes along,
lulled into complacency, and then...
- That's just...
- Look at this.
That's really terrible.
- And it ruins everything else.
- It does.
- We've seen a lot of stuff today.
- Yeah.
We should think about going home.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Who gets dropped first?
- Gee, I don't know.
- I live downtown.
- We both live downtown.
It depends on what way you wanna go.
I know. If we took Fifth,
then we'd get to your house first.
- We could do that.
- But Fifth is jammed.
- I mean...
- Well, sometimes.
You live in Chelsea, don't you?
If you live in Chelsea,
that's probably first.
- Okay.
- And then April.
Great.
Naturally, I get taken home first.Obviously, he prefers April.Of course, I was so tongue-tiedall night.I can't believe I said that.My stupid roller-skating joke.I should never tell jokes.Mom can tell them, and Hannah,but I kill them.Where did April come upwith terms like "organic form"?Well, naturally. She went to Brandeis.She doesn't knowwhat she's talking about.Could you believe the wayshe was calling him David?"I feel that way too, David.Marvelous space, David. "I hate April. She's pushy.They'll dump me, and she'llinvite him up. I blew it.And I really like him a lot.Screw it. I'm not gonna get upset.I've got reading to do.I'll get into bed early...... and take an extra Seconal.
- My goodness.
- Elliot! What are you doing here?
- I'm looking for a bookstore.
- In this section?
I'm killing time.
I have a client near here.
- How about you?
- Well, I live...
- You live near here.
- I do.
- Where are you headed?
- To my AA meeting.
Why do you still go?
You never touch alcohol.
You didn't know me before Frederick.
I'd start with a beer at a.m.
- You must've been very unhappy.
- Unhappy and fat.
I still find the meetings comforting.
I'll never understand it.
You're so bright and beautiful.
I think: "What problems
could she have?"
Don't let me get started
on my childhood.
You know what? There is
a bookstore near here.
You'd really love it.
- Yes?
- You would.
- If you have some free time...
- Sure.
Thank you.
Isn't this great?
They have everything.
- Wonderful.
- What book did you want?
- What?
- You wanted a book?
No, I'm killing time.
I just want to browse.
You picked the right place.
You can stay all afternoon
and just read.
Unless you have time.
We could get some coffee.
- I don't have time.
- I understand.
No problem. You're busy. I...
You seem tense.
Everything all right? No?
- Yes.
- Everything's okay?
Yeah. How are you?
I'm all right.
- How's Frederick?
- Fine.
We went to the Caravaggio exhibition.
It's such a treat to go
with Frederick. You learn so much.
- Do you like Caravaggio?
- Yes, who doesn't?
Look.
E.e. Cummings.
I'd like to get you this.
I can't let you get me that.
- I'd like to very much.
- I don't think so.
I read a poem of you
and thought of his...
A poem of his and thought of you.
You'll be fine.
This is great. I love e.e. Cummings.
I'd love to get you this.
And maybe we could
discuss it sometime.
- Thanks a lot.
- Thanks for showing me the bookstore.
You could take me
to an AA meeting sometime.
- I'd love to see it.
- You'd love it.
It's really entertaining.
You'd have a good time.
And don't forget the poem on page .
- It reminded me of you.
- Really?
Page .
- Bye.
- Bye!
"Your slightest lookEasily will unclose meThough I have closed myselfAs fingersYou open alwaysPetal by petal myselfAs spring opensTouching skillfully, mysteriouslyHer first roseI do not know what it is about youThat closes and opensOnly something in me understandsThe voice of your eyesIs deeper than all rosesNobody, not even the rainHas such small hands"
I wasn't too happy with your ENG
results, or your BSER either.
That's why I sent you to Tomography,
all that stuff rolling around.
See this gray area here?
That area's what I had
hoped we wouldn't run into.
I'd like you to come in Monday
for a CAT scan.
- A brain scan?
- Let's take one step at a time.
We won't make any decisions
until we have all the information.
Okay, take it easy.He didn't say you had anything.He just doesn't likethe spot on your x-ray.Doesn't mean you have anything.Don't jump to conclusions.Nothing's gonna happen to you.You're in New York City.This is your town.You're surrounded by trafficand restaurants.God! How can you just,one day, vanish?Keep calm. You're gonna be okay.Don't panic.I'm dying! I know it!There's a spot on my lungs!Take it easy. It's not onyour lungs. It's on your ear.It's the same thing, isn't it?I can't sleep.God, there's a tumor in my headthe size of a basketball.I keep thinking I can feelit every time I blink.Jesus! He wants meto do a brain scan...... to confirm what healready suspects.I'll make a deal with God.Let it just be my ear.I'll go deaf and blind in one eye.I don't want a brain operation.I'll wind up like the guywith the wool cap...... who delivers for the florist.Your whole life you run to doctors.The news is always fine.That's not true.What about years ago?
I'm sorry to say
that you cannot have children.
- Gee.
- Is there no chance?
You can have a normal sex life...
...but his tests indicate
that he is infertile.
Small sperm volume and infertile.
Anything I can do? Pushups?
- I'm afraid not.
- I need a second opinion.
- This is the second opinion.
- A third.
I realize this is a blow.
In my experience,
many fine marriages...
...become unstable
and are destroyed...
...by an inability to deal with this.
I hope you won't make too much of it.
One can adopt...
...and there are artificial
methods of fertilization.
I'm so humiliated. I don't...
Did you ruin yourself?
- How could I ruin myself?
- Excessive masturbation?
You gonna knock my hobbies? Jesus.
Maybe we can adopt a child.
- What about artificial insemination?
- What?
- I'd get implanted from...
- A stranger?
They have banks where they
keep them frozen.
- A defrosted kid?
- I want to experience childbirth.
- With a stranger?
- Think about it. That's all I ask.
I think that's the best show
you two ever wrote.
The funniest show we did
was the one we won the Emmy for.
I think as far as laughs...
...that was probably
the best thing we ever did.
But the show about the Frenchmen,
that was funny and warm.
We got that idea on that Paris trip.
Remember that?
Hannah had jet lag for six weeks.
But it was... I guess we had fun
when we were there.
Sorry. Coffee?
Listen, you guys, we... Want some more?
We had something we really
wanted to discuss with you.
Jesus, this is very delicate...
...and I only bring this up
amongst friends.
I mean, this is...
This shouldn't go
further than this room.
I'm all ears.
Hannah and I can't have any children.
I don't want to get into whose fault
it is... It's my fault.
And the details are
too embarrassing to...
We decided after
a lot of discussion...
...that we'd try
artificial insemination.
I'm not so sure
I like that idea myself.
I didn't really want
to go to a sperm bank...
...have some anonymous donor.
I wouldn't want that.
If we were gonna do it,
we'd like somebody we know...
...and was warm and bright.
You can say no. We realize it has
all kinds of implications.
The point we're making
is that we need some sperm.
Gee.
Well, my first reaction
after the initial shock...
...is flattered that you'd ask.
I'd be the father.
You'd just masturbate into a cup.
I can handle that.
Obviously, we wouldn't
have intercourse.
Gosh, I've gotta tell you the truth.
I'm uneasy about this.
It's a lot to ask.
I feel for you, I do. I'm gonna cry.
You want my husband
to have a child with you?
Don't answer now.
Just take it home
and think about it for a while.
I gave blood before,
and clothing to the poor.
I wanna talk about this at home.
I think it's a matter
for your analyst and mine.
And maybe my lawyer.
We understand completely...
...if you feel you'd rather not.
I didn't mean to spoil the evening.
Let's move on.
So you had my ex-partner's baby.Twins.Maybe that caused trouble,but we were drifting apart anyhow.Instead of man and wifewe're good friends.Boy, love is really unpredictable.
Lee, Frederick,
say hello to Dusty Fry.
- Hi, Dusty.
- Hi.
He's bought a house in Southampton.
He's decorating it.
It's a weird place.
A lot of wall space.
How you doing, man?
I told him about your work.
He's excited.
I got an Andy Warhol
and a Frank Stella.
It's very beautiful.
Big, weird, you know.
If you stare at that Stella,
the colors seem to float.
You decided to become a collector?
Yeah, I got a lot to learn, though.
I wasn't into art as a kid.
- Do you appreciate drawings?
- Yeah.
Oh, hey. Wow, she's beautiful.
But, really, I need something...
I'm looking for something big.
- Show him the oils.
- They're in the basement.
Frederick's done this
new series you'd love.
- Are they big?
- Some of them, yeah.
I got a lot of wall space.
- I don't sell my work by the yard.
- Oh, Frederick.
How's everything?
Oh, you know.
I talked to Hannah this morning.
You two might be going to the country.
She loves to go out in the woods.
But I go nuts.
It's a conflict.
- I have to get my teeth cleaned.
- That's nice.
- I figured I'd get them together.
- That's really nice.
This kid's earned a trillion dollars.
He's got six gold records.
Oh, I bought that Mozart trio
you recommended.
The man showed me another one
you'd love.
It's another Bach, Second Movement.
- You have that one?
- Yeah.
I would love to hear it.
Holly met a wonderful man
who loves opera, an architect.
That's nice. I'd love to see her
wind up settled.
She's a tense one.
Isn't that beautiful?
I know this.
Bach F Minor Concerto.
It's one of my favorites.
Did you ever get around
to e.e. Cummings?
Yes, he's just adorable.
They have a large gay clientele
where I get my teeth cleaned.
All the hygienists now wear gloves.
They're afraid of AIDS.
Right.
Did you ever get around
to the poem on page ?
Yes, it made me cry.
It was so beautiful, so romantic.
I want so badly to kiss her.Not here. You've got to gether alone someplace.But I've got to proceed cautiously.This is a delicate situation.Ask her if you can see herfor lunch or a drink tomorrow.Make light of the offerif she's unresponsive.This has to be doneskillfully and diplomatically.
Did you ever read this one?
- Elliot, don't!
- Lee, I'm in love with you!
- What are you doing?
- I'm sorry, I have to talk to you.
I've been in love with you so long...
I don't have an interest
in selling it.
I ask for some puce,
you fly off the handle!
I'm not interested in what
your decorator thinks.
I can't commit to anything
without consulting her first.
You don't buy paintings
to blend in with the sofa.
It's not a sofa. It's an ottoman!
God, forget it.
Let's just get out of here.
What a weirdo that guy is. Paranoid.
- What's the matter?
- I'll be okay.
- Not that big a deal.
- You go on ahead.
You're sweating.
I just need fresh air.
Something I ate.
I'll walk, you go ahead. You go.
Hello. Hello?
Hello!
I was looking for you.
I must apologize. I'm so mixed-up.
- How do you expect me to react?
- But I'm in love with you.
- Don't say those words.
- I know it's terrible.
- You know the situation.
- I know. I realize.
- What do you expect?
- Hannah and I are in the last stages.
She's never said anything,
and we're very close.
She's crazy about me,
but somewhere along the line...
...I fell out of love.
- Not because of me?
- No.
Yes, I love you!
I can't be the cause
of anything between you...
It was inevitable.
- Why?
- For a million reasons.
But not over me?
We were both going
in different directions.
- Poor Hannah.
- How about you?
Do you share any of my feelings,
or is this unpleasant?
I can't say.
Be candid.
I don't want you to feel bad.
Yes, I have certain feelings for you.
Don't make me say more.
Okay, you've said enough.
I will work things out.
Don't do anything on my behalf.
Hannah and I are close.
But you do care about me?
I can't be a party to this.
I'm racked with guilt talking to you.
Your guilt is because
you feel the same.
I have to go.
I have to get my teeth cleaned.
I have my answer. I have my answer.
I'm walking on air.
Hi. How's she doing?
She's in the kitchen.
It's the same thing.
She promises. It's all lies.
Don't make it worse, Dad.
Hi, Mom. How you doing?
Let me get you some coffee.
What triggered it?
We were making a commercial.
There was this young salesman.
Your mother was throwing herself
at him in a disgusting way.
When she found she was too old
to seduce, that he was embarrassed...
Liar!
And at lunch she got
drunker and drunker.
Finally, she became Joan Collins!
All my life I've put up with insults
from this nonperson.
This haircut that passes for a man.
He could never support us.
I'm glad we had a talented daughter.
I can only hope that she was mine.
With you as her mother,
her father could be any actor!
She's talented.
It's unlikely she's yours.
Dad, could you please stay
in the other room?
You never know when she's
gonna fall off the wagon.
Here, Mom. Drink this.
You're awful.
You probably were flirting.
No, I like to joke around
and have fun.
He gets angry because
I get the attention.
He's gotten sour, and I've tried
to stay young at heart.
You promised to stay on the wagon.
The sacrifices I've made.
He's ruined me with his ego,
his philandering...
...his mediocrity.
- Okay, stop being so dramatic.
He's the one that's laid
every ingénue in stock!
They wanted me for a screen test,
but he'd get up there...
...and he'd flounder around
with his expensive haircuts...
...and clothes.
He's all show!
How could you act when there's
nothing inside to come out?
She was so beautiful at one time,and he was so dashing.Both of them just full of promiseand hopes that never materialized.And the fightsand the infidelities...... to prove themselves and blamingeach other. It's so sad.They loved the idea of having us.Raising us didn't interest them.But it's impossible to hold itagainst them. They didn't know.Of all of us in the family...
...you're the one blessed
with the true gift.
My true gift is luck.
I've had a lot of luck.
From my first show. I thought Lee
was destined for great things.
She's lovely,
but she doesn't have your spark.
She knows it. She worships you.
She wouldn't dare get up on stage.
Now, Holly's not shy.
Holly's game for anything.
- Holly takes after me.
- True.
I'd have been a great dope addict.
Remember this, Hannah?
Mr. Saxe, I'm afraid
the news is not good.
If I can show you
where the tumor is...
...and why we feel that surgery
would be of no use.
- See...- It's over.I'm face to face with eternity.Not later, but now.I'm so frightened, I can't moveor speak or breathe.
You're just fine.
There's nothing here at all.
And your tests are all fine.
I admit, I was concerned,
given your symptoms.
What caused this hearing loss,
we'll never know.
But whatever it was,
it's not anything serious.
I'm very relieved.
What do you mean, you're quitting?
Why? The news is good.
You don't have cancer... The thing.
Do you realize what a thread
we're hanging by?
You're off the hook.
Celebrate!
Can you understand
how meaningless everything is?
Our lives, the show, the whole world.
But you're not dying.
I'm not now.
When I ran out of the hospital...
...I was so thrilled. I'm
running down the street and then...
...it hit me. So I'm not gonna
go today, not tomorrow...
...but eventually I'm going to.
You're realizing this now?
I know it all the time,
but stick it in the back of my mind.
It's a horrible thing to think about.
Can I tell you something?
- Yes, please.
- A week ago I bought a rifle.
If I had a tumor,
I was gonna kill myself.
The thing that might've stopped me:
My parents would be devastated.
I would've had to shoot them also.
And my aunt and uncle.
Well, eventually, it is going
to happen to all of us.
But doesn't that ruin
everything for you?
It takes the pleasure away.
You'll die...
...l'll die, the audience,
the network...
- I know, and your hamster.
- Yes.
Listen, kid,
I think you snapped your cap.
Maybe you need a few weeks in Bermuda.
Or go to a whorehouse.
I can't stay on. I need answers.
Otherwise, I'm gonna
do something drastic.
- I thought you weren't coming.
- I almost didn't.
- I didn't sleep all night.
- No, I'm sure.
What're we doing in a hotel room?
It's terrible.
I couldn't think where to invite you.
I didn't want this to happen
till you were living alone.
I was so torn when you called.
I wanted to call every day
since I told you how I felt.
I resisted so many times.
Don't think badly of me.
This is not an easy situation.
I know it isn't.
That was just perfect.
You've ruined me for anyone else.
I don't want anyone else to have you.
I worried I wouldn't
compare with Hannah.
Oh, my God!
- You really do have those thoughts?
- All the time.
She must be a passionate person.
Yes, she's very warm and giving.
But I want to be giving to you.
I wanna do things for you.
Hannah doesn't need me as much.
I'm being presumptuous.
Not that you need me.
I want you to take care of me.
And I love when you do things to me.
You're late.
I didn't realize how late
it had gotten.
You missed a very dull TV show
about Auschwitz.
More gruesome film clips.
And more intellectuals
declaring their mystification...
...over the systematic murder
of millions.
They can never answer the question:
"How could it happen?"
It's the wrong question.
The question is: "Why doesn't
it happen more often?"
Of course, it does.
I have a headache from this weather.
It's been ages since I sat
in front of the TV...
...changing channels
to find something.
You see the whole culture:
Nazis...
...deodorant salesmen...
...wrestlers...
...beauty contests, the talk show.
Can you imagine the mind
that watches wrestling?
But the worst are
the fundamentalist preachers.
Third-rate con men...
...telling the suckers
that they speak for Jesus...
...and to please send in money.
Money, money.
If Jesus came back and saw
what's going on in his name...
...he'd throw up.
Frederick, could you please
lighten up?
I'm not in the mood to hear
a review of contemporary society.
You've been nervous lately.
I can't take this anymore.
I'm only completing
an education I started.
I'm not your pupil. I was.
When you leave the nest,
I want you to be ready.
- We have to make some changes.
- Like what?
- You know. I'm suffocating.
- This conversation again?
Yes, this conversation again.
I have to leave, I have to move out.
- Why?
- Because I have to.
What'll you use for money?
I thought maybe I'd move
in with my parents.
I always told you you would leave me.
Does it have to be now?
Maybe it'll be temporary.
But I have to try.
Lee, you're my whole world.
Good God.
Have you been kissed tonight?
Yes, you have.
You've been with someone!
Stop accusing me!
I'm too smart. You can't fool me!
- You're turning red!
- Leave me!
Oh, Christ! What's wrong with you?
I'm sorry.
Couldn't you say something?
You slither...
I'm saying it now!
So you met somebody else?
Yeah. You knew that was going
to happen sooner or later.
- I can't live like this.
- Who is it?
- It's just somebody I met.
- Where did you meet him?
It doesn't matter. I have to move out.
You're my connection to the world.
That's too much responsibility for me.
It's not fair.
I want a less complicated life.
I want a child, before it's too late.
Jesus. Jesus!
Oh, God, I don't even
know what I want.
What do you get out of me, anyway?
I mean...
It's not sexual anymore.
It's certainly not intellectual.
You're so superior to me.
Don't patronize me!
God! I should have married you
years ago when you wanted to.
I should've agreed.
Don't you know?
It never would've worked.
I told you one day you'd leave
me for a younger man.
What passion today with Lee!She's a volcano.It was totally fulfilling...... just as I'd dreamed it'd be.That's what it was.It was like living out a dream,a great dream.Now I feel very good and cozynext to Hannah.Hannah is very real and lovely.She gives me a very deep feelingof being part of something.She's a wonderful woman,and I betrayed her.She changed my empty life...... and I paid her backby banging her sister.God, I'm despicable!What a cruel and shallow act.I have to tell herwhat we did was crazy.It can't ever happen again.I value Hannah too much.I love my wife. Now I betrayed her.Oh, God!
Where are you going?
I've gotta get a phone number.
I forgot to phone Mel Kaufman.
- It's late.
- Yes, I can't believe I forgot.
What if he answers?
I'll hang up.
I'll say we can't communicate
until I'm divorced.
It's immoral. Then time will pass...
...I won't call,
and she'll understand.
I've gotta stop
before I get in too deep.
I'd rather hurt Lee a little
than destroy Hannah.
It's : .
She can't have a conversation
with me, with him around.
I'm getting hysterical.
I'll call her in the morning.
I'll call her at : .
Frederick goes jogging at : .
She'll be alone. I'll call
and nip it in the bud.
I've got it! I've got it!
Mel!
I'd have hung up
if you hadn't answered...
...but I had to tell you...
...I feel very close to you
tonight. Very, very close.
Good night.
Millions of books writtenon every conceivable subject...... by all these great minds...... but none of themknows anything more...... about the big questionsof life than I do.I read Socrates.He used to knock offlittle Greek boys.What the hell'she got to teach me?And Nietzsche, with his theoryof eternal recurrence.He said the life we live,we'll live over and over...... the same way for eternity.Great. I'll have to sitthrough the Ice-Capades again.It's not worth it.And Freud, another great pessimist.I was in analysis for years.Nothing happened.My poor analystgot so frustrated...... the guy finally put ina salad bar.Look at these people jogging...... trying to stave offthe inevitable decay of the body.It's so sadwhat people go through...... with their stationary bikeand their exercise...Oh, look at this one. Poor thing.She has to tote all that fat around.She should pull it on a dolly.Maybe the poets are right.Maybe love is the answer.I was in love with Hannah.That didn't work out.I even took her sister out. Remember?Years ago whenHannah and I got divorced...... and she fixed me upwith her sister?
- Why are you making those faces?
- I can't hear anything.
- I'm gonna lose hearing.
- You're witnessing genius.
My ears are in a meltdown.
I can't hear anything.
Can't you feel the tangible energy?
- The positive vibrations!
- I'm frightened.
They're gonna take hostages.
Let's... Don't... No, please.
- You want some? Come on.
- You've been doing that all night.
You're gonna develop a third nostril.
Don't. Please.
- Can we go?
- No.
Don't you love songs
about extraterrestrials?
Not when they're sung by them.
We can't communicate. I never
knew you were such a tight-ass.
Your sisters have good taste.
Where'd you go wrong?
I'm my own person.
- Can we go hear something nice?
- It's getting late.
You're being angry.
I'm not angry, but you don't like
rock music, you won't get high...
It's like dating Cardinal Cooke.
What a swell time.
You didn't have to talk
while he was singing.
- I was so bored.
- You don't deserve Cole Porter.
Stay with groups
that'd stab their moms.
- I'm open to new concepts.
- And you snort so much cocaine!
- Do you carry a kilo around?
- This crowd was too embalmed to know.
I'm glad Hannah got us together.
She's got great instincts.
I'm sorry. It's probably my fault.
I've been depressed.
I had fun. It was like
the Nuremberg Trials.
I'll see myself home!
Yep, it was quite an evening.Holly with her cocaine.She should've been wearinga gold shovel around her neck.She was polymorphouslyinsensitive, I think.Too bad too.I always had a little crush on her.
Read the instructions.
You set one of these and you can...
...take pictures underwater.
We'll try it in the lake.
- Can I try?
- Yeah. Okay.
Are you in a bad mood?
I don't know. I'm just antsy.
The last few weeks,
you haven't been yourself.
And tonight at dinner,
you were curt with me.
- Was I?
- Yes, you were.
When I brought up the idea
of having a baby...
...you jumped down my throat.
- I don't think it's a good idea.
- Why not?
It's the last thing we need right now.
Why? Is there something wrong?
- I don't know.
- Should I be worried?
Well, you got four children.
I want one with you.
I think we should wait
till things settle.
What does that mean?
We've been married four years.
How settled can it get?
You have set plans on how
your life should be structured:
A house, kids, certain schools,
a home in Connecticut.
It's all very preconceived.
Yeah, but l...
I thought you needed that.
You said your life was chaos.
But there's got to be
some give and take.
I don't know what the hell
I'm talking about.
- Are you angry with me?
- No.
Do you feel...? Are you disenchanted
with our marriage?
I didn't say that.
Is there someone else?
What is this? The Gestapo? No.
What are you not telling me?
What kind of...?
Supposing I said I am disenchanted.
- I am in love with someone else.
- Are you?
No.
You keep asking these questions.
It's like you want me to say yes.
What are you saying?
Of course not. I'd be destroyed.
For chrissake,stop torturing her.Say you want outand get it over with.You love her sister.You didn't do it on purpose.Be honest. It's always the best way.
Can I help you?
If you're suffering over something,
share it with me.
You know how much I love you.
I should have my head examined.
I don't deserve you.
I wanna look good, but I don't
want to be overdressed.
- How about this?
- I think it's a pretty color on you.
Ever think you'd see me
going to the opera?
It's great. I want to meet him.
He's married. And
his wife's schizophrenic.
Sometimes she just breaks down.
When his daughter
goes to college next year...
...he'll split permanently.
His wife helped put him through
architecture school.
You found all this out on one date?
I think he was dying to open up.
It's so sad.
Now, what should I wear
to my audition?
I've got an audition
for a Broadway musical.
I'll never get it.
- Singing?
- Can you believe it?
I mean, why not?
What have I got to lose?
No, I just...
No, I didn't know you sang.
You think everybody in musicals
sings well?
No, it's just that they sing.
Well, you know.
I sing a little. I mean, you know.
I know. No, I know.
Don't say it that way.
- Confidence isn't my strong point.
- I didn't mean that.
I think I can fake my way
through a song. Easily.
- Why? You don't think it's realistic?
- No, I didn't... No.
No, I just hate to see you
put yourself in a position...
...where you get hurt.
You take every single rejection...
...as confirmation
that you have no talent.
- Well, maybe I'll get it.
- I hope.
Boy...
...you know how to cut me down.
- What?
Can't I say anything?
I sing. For chrissake,
you heard me sing!
Okay, l...
What happened?
We were having a nice time...
...and suddenly everything
went to bad feeling.
Nobody but you can do that to me.
Look, everything's going your way.
You're right.
I'm happy.
Why must I let my insecurities
spoil everything?
- Thank you very much.
- Thanks.
- Very nice.
- Terrific.
April Knox.
You sounded great.
You may be surprised.
I'm just glad we have
a catering job this week.
We have Mr. Levine's th
birthday on Riverside Drive.
Or the chapel,
depending on his health.
Listen. David called me up.
- What?
- David called me last night.
He wants to take me
to the opera.
I didn't know what to say.
You're joking.
No, he called late last night.
I'm very surprised.
He wants to take me
to see Rigoletto.
And you're going.
I didn't know what to say.
At first I said no.
He said he'd taken you once,
and he really wanted to invite me.
- But I'm seeing him.
- I know. I said that...
...but he said he really
wanted to do it.
I don't know what to say.
It's just an evening at the opera.
Did I do wrong in accepting?
Why would you like to
convert to Catholicism?
I have to believe in something
or else life is just meaningless.
But why did you make
the decision...
...to choose the Catholic faith?
First of all, because it's
a very beautiful religion.
It's strong and well-structured.
I'm talking about the against
school prayer, pro-abortion wing.
So you don't believe in God?
No, and I want to.
I'll do anything.
I'll dye Easter eggs.
I need some evidence.
I gotta have proof.
If I can't believe,
life isn't worth living.
It's a very big leap.
Yes, well, can you help me?
I don't understand.
I thought you'd be happy.
How can we be happy?
Because I'm giving God
serious thought.
- Catholicism? Why not your own people?
- I got off on the wrong foot there.
I need a dramatic change.
- You'll believe in Jesus Christ?
- I'm gonna try.
- We raised you as a Jew.
- I was born that way...
- I'm older now.
- But why Jesus Christ?
Why not become a Buddhist?
That's totally alien to me.
Aren't you afraid of dying?
Why be afraid?
- You won't exist.
- So?
- That doesn't terrify you?
- I'm alive. When I'm dead, I'm dead.
Aren't you frightened?
- I'll be unconscious.
- But never to exist again?
- How do you know?
- It doesn't look promising.
Who knows what'll be?
I'll either be unconscious,
or I won't.
If not, I'll deal with it then.
I won't worry now.
Mom, come out.
Of course there's a God, you idiot.
You don't believe in God?
Then why is there so much evil
in the world?
On a simple level,
why were there Nazis?
Tell him, Max.
How the hell do I know?
I don't know how the can opener works.
- Hi. Where's Holly?
- She's auditioning for a commercial.
- How's she doing?
- You know Holly when she's depressed.
It's good that we
invited her to lunch.
Tell her it was your idea.
When I try to help,
she gets defensive.
She's just embarrassed
in front of you.
- So how are you?
- I'm okay.
Do you miss Frederick?
Elliot and I must know
someone for you.
How are you?
How's Frederick...? I mean Elliot?
He's fine. I guess he's fine.
He's been moody the last few months.
I don't know what it is.
He's kind of distant.
I try talking...
He says everything's fine.
Automatically, I think the worst.
- He's seeing someone else.
- No, everyone thinks that.
I just came from an audition which
I did not get. So what's new?
They said I was too offbeat-looking,
whatever that means.
- But guess who's auditioning?
- April?
I was very polite. I maintained
my poise. I said hello.
I never trusted her.
Eyes in the back of her head.
She and an architect are now a
definite item, which I can't believe.
Though it's put an end
to the catering company.
Which is why I have to speak to you.
I have to borrow more money.
- That's fine.
- I decided to do some writing.
I've had it with acting.
These meaningless auditions.
I can't handle another rejection.
Let's face it. I have to
latch on to something in my life...
...something with a future.
I'm not anymore.
It's just crazy...
...but I've got an idea for a story,
more than one...
...and I just need a few months
or a year even.
I learned about dramatic
structure from acting class.
That's good. It just seems to me
that six months or a year...
...if you spend it more productively...
- Like what?
Well, I don't know.
Didn't mom mention something
at the Museum of Broadcasting?
- That's clerical.
- Didn't she say it's in publicity?
- It can lead to other things.
- You're discouraging.
No, I'm trying to be helpful.
A person doesn't say:
"I'm done as an actress.
Now I'm a writer."
- Not at my age.
- Please. Let's have lunch.
Right. Forget it.
I just want a salad.
You really think I'm a loser.
- You're being ridiculous.
- You are.
- You treat me like a loser.
- How?
You have no faith.
You undercut my enthusiasm.
Not so. I've been very supportive.
I give you honest, constructive
advice. I help you financially.
I introduce you
to interesting, single men.
- All losers.
- You're too demanding.
Who you fix me up with
says what you think of me.
- That's not true.
- I'm mediocre.
Stop attacking Hannah.
She's going through a lot.
- Why are you so upset?
- You keep picking on her.
Leave her alone. I'm suffocating.
Why are you so sensitive
all of a sudden?
Look, you wanna write, write.
Let's just drop it.
Take a year. Take six months,
whatever you want.
Who knows? Maybe you'll be
sitting with a good play.
What's the matter?
You look pale. Are you okay?
Yeah. You know, I just got
dizzy all of a sudden.
I think we need to eat.
I can't seem to take action.
I'm like Hamlet
unable to kill his uncle.
I want Lee, but I can't harm Hannah.
And in no other area
am I a procrastinator.
Meanwhile, Lee has no direction.She's taking coursesat Columbia, but just randomly.I try not to call her, but thenshe calls me, and then I call...... and we try to resist meeting,but sometimes we meet.Sometimes we argue becauseI can't split my marriage.Sometimes we wind up making love,and we both feel terrible.
But it's my fault.
For all my education, accomplishments,
and so-called wisdom...
...I can't fathom my own heart.
You'd like to become a Hare Krishna?
I'm not saying I wanna join...
...but you believe in reincarnation
so I'm interested.
What's your religion?
I was born Jewish, but last winter
I tried Catholicism.
It didn't work for me. I studied
and tried, but for me it was:
"Die now, pay later."
- I just couldn't get with it.
- You're afraid of dying?
Yeah, naturally. In reincarnation...
...does my soul
pass to another human?
Or would I come back
as an aardvark?
Take our literature, read it over,
and think about it.
- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome. Hare Krishna.
Who are you kidding?You're gonna be a Krishna?You're gonna shave your headand dance around at airports?You'd look like Jerry Lewis.Oh, God, I'm so depressed.The nights are really getting cooler.Summer went so quickly.Soon it'll be fall.My literature professorreally likes me.It was fun being out with himlast night.I feel like I'm betrayingElliot, but that's ridiculous.Why shouldn't I see Doug?Elliot's not free.Just go one step at a time.Let's see what the nextfew months bring.
You'll be happy to know that
your money hasn't gone to waste.
I have an actual first rough draft
of something I wrote.
I showed it to Lee.
She gave me some pointers.
I'm pretty near where you live.
Could I just drop it off?
And when you have time, read it...
...and we'll talk over Thanksgiving.
Okay? All right. Wait. Listen!
Lee met an interesting guy
at Columbia.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, he sounds really nice.
All right. We'll talk at Thanksgiving.
Bye-bye.
Here's a song that Norma sang...
...on that trip we made
to the show in Buffalo.
Oh, was she beautiful that night!
Come on.
You were.
Don't you remember that night?
She was so beautiful...
...that when men saw her walking...
...they'd drive their cars
up on the sidewalk.
That right, honey?
A slight exaggeration,
but only slight.
- You've been very cold to me tonight.
- No!
Is something wrong?
Not here. There are too many
people around.
I think Lee's serious
about her new boyfriend.
He sounds really nice.
I'm happy for her.
I think she's in love.
What's wrong?
I'm upset about what you wrote.
My script?
- It's based on Elliot and me.
- Loosely.
Not loosely. Real specifically.
Is that how you see us?
Can I not accept gestures
and feelings from people?
Do I put people off?
- It's a made-up story.
- No, it's exact.
The situations, the dialogue,
everything.
It's full of details
about Elliot and me...
...which I don't see how
you could know about.
Our conversation about adoption?
Lee mentioned that to me.
Obviously, you told her.
I just blew it up into drama.
How would Lee know?
We don't talk about everything.
I guess I hit a nerve.
You make it out like I have no needs.
Am I too self-sufficient?
That's not what I meant.
Everybody relies on you for so much.
It's not a criticism.
- We're grateful.
- Grateful, but you resent me.
I don't wanna have this conversation.
I didn't do anything wrong.
You said you were having problems.
Problems that are my business...
...which I don't see how you know.
How does Lee know about these things?
They're private.
Why don't you share them with us?
- I don't want to bother everyone.
- I'd like to be bothered.
I don't see how you could know
unless Elliot told you.
No, he hasn't.
If I offended you, I'm sorry.
It's over, Elliot.
I can't be any clearer.
- I deserve this...
- I'm at fault too.
I have such feelings...
To be honest, I've met someone else.
- What do you mean?
- I said I wasn't gonna wait forever.
It hasn't been forever.
It's been a year and you're
still married to my sister.
And I'm sure you're more
in love than you know.
- But we made so many plans.
- In a way, you led me on.
I believed you were
unhappy with Hannah.
I would never have
let myself be drawn in.
I was weak. So were you.
Now I've met someone else.
Dinner soon?
- About minutes.
- Good.
- You're in love overnight?
- I care a lot about him.
It's over, Elliot.
I mean it. It's over.
Sweetheart, I loved your script.
It was so clever.
You're my mother.
Not everybody's a sucker.
I really liked the character
of the mother.
A boozy old flirt
with a filthy mouth.
- I'm so proud.
- Oh, Mom. Thanks.
A toast to Thanksgiving!
Are we supposed
to have beer? Yeah!
Let me hear it!
How's that, Fletcher?
Now to Thanksgiving.
Here's a little toast.
Bottoms up!
Have you been talking to Holly
or Lee about our personal life?
Me? Of course not.
There's things in Holly's script...
...that could only have come from you.
Look, I don't like being accused.
I'm not accusing. I'm asking.
Do you find me too giving?
Too competent?
Too disgustingly perfect or something?
What's come between us?
How have I alienated you?
- My head is throbbing.
- You never want to talk about it.
When I bring it up,
you change the subject.
We communicate less.
You sleep with me less.
Hannah, I am very mixed-up!
Please!
Do you talk to Holly or Lee
behind my back?
They seem to know so much.
Maybe I've asked advice
or made a joke.
Do you talk to Holly? Lee?
Or what? Do you phone them?
Leave me alone, can you?
Jesus, I told you.
I need someone I can matter to.
You matter to me. Completely.
I can't be around someone who
gives so much yet needs so little.
I have enormous needs.
I can't see them,
neither can Lee or Holly.
So pitch-black tonight.
I feel lost.
You're not lost.
I love you so much.
You may not remember...
...but we shared the worst
night of my life.
I remember you.
You recall? I saw you in here.
- I thought we could replay...
- We didn't hit it off.
We did everything but
exchange gunshots.
- How are you?
- Good. You look wonderful.
You do. It was a terrible evening.
Remember slamming
the cab door in my face?
You came very dangerously close
to emasculating my nose.
That was a long time ago.
People change.
- I hope you've changed.
- You too.
Your personality left something
to be desired...
Namely a personality.
How are you? What are you doing?
Nothing much. A little of this,
a little of that.
Was that an embarrassing question?
You're out of work?
- I've been trying to write.
- Have you?
- Yeah.
- What kind of stuff?
- You're not interested in this.
- You can tell me. I am.
You must always hear,
"I wrote something."
- Nobody ever said it.
- Really?
Would you be willing
to read something I wrote?
If it would mean anything to you.
I don't know why it would.
- You've always hated my taste.
- No, I haven't.
I think it might be
a great television script...
...and since you're so active...
I haven't been
in television for a year.
You're kidding me.
I may have to get back into it.
I'm running out of dollars.
But I dropped out for a year,
which is a long, dull story.
You okay?
I'm fine.
- How are you?
- Fine.
So, your script?
If you'd read it,
I'd value your opinion.
But remember while you're reading
and cursing my name...
...it's my first script.
Well, not really.
My first was about
Hannah and her husband.
But Hannah read it
and got really angry.
Can't imagine what you wrote.
It wasn't anything bad.
She... I don't know.
So I threw it out,
but I have this other one.
If you want me to, I'll read it.
Could I come over and read it to you?
Come over and read it to me?
You must be joking.
I've done my own reading
since I was .
I think it's lucky
I ran into you. Maybe.
What about me?
I have this sensation
that I should have...
...kept walking and not begun
this conversation.
"We all play with the hand
we're dealt."
"Craig: And what hand were you dealt?"
"Emily: I'm two high pair.
Maybe even aces up.
The problem is,
you've got three deuces."
That's the end.
No, you can tell me straight.
It's okay.
Just tell me what you think.
It's great.
L... I'm...
I'm speechless. I was...
I was not in the mood
to listen to this thing now.
I don't know what to say.
I'm moved. I laughed.
I was on the edge of my seat.
I think it's wonderful.
I'm totally stunned.
This is not an insult.
I'm amazed you can...
I just thought it was great.
- Really?
- Yes, I was...
What made you think
of that climax scene...
...where the architect is with
his actress girlfriend...
...and the schizophrenic ex-wife
stabs him to death?
- It just came to me one day.
- Well, it was fabulous.
You really think I can write?
There's maybe one or two things
I'd do differently...
...but who cares?
It was fabulous.
I mean it. I'm so impressed.
I am. You made my day.
It was great.
I was set to be bored stiff.
Would you like to have lunch?
I'd love to talk about that script.
We could do something with it.
And I'd like to hear what made
you suddenly drop out of life.
- Who cares?
- No. I care.
You used to be so ambitious, and...
God, you really liked it?
Gosh, you really went
through a crisis.
How did you get over it?
When I ran into you,
you seemed perfectly fine.
You seem fine now.
Well, I'll tell you.
One day, a month ago, I really...
... hit bottom. I just feltthat in a godless universe...... I didn't want to go on living.I happen to own this riflewhich I loaded...... and pressed to my forehead.I thought, "I'm gonna kill myself."Then I thought,"What if I'm wrong?What if there is a God?Nobody really knows. "Then I thought,"No. Maybe is not good enough.I want certainty or nothing. "I remember clearly,the clock was ticking...... and I was sitting there frozen...... debating whether to shoot.All of a sudden,the gun went off.I was so tense I inadvertentlysqueezed the trigger.But I was perspiring so much...... the gun slid offmy forehead and missed me.Suddenly, neighborswere pounding on the door...... and the whole scenewas just pandemonium.I ran to the door.I didn't know what to say.I was embarrassed and confused.My mind was racing a mile a minute.I just knew one thing...I had to get out of that house.I had to get out inthe fresh air and clear my head.And I remember,I walked the streets.I didn't know whatwas going through my mind.It all seemed so violentand unreal to me.I wandered on the Upper West Side.It must have been hours.My feet hurt,my head was pounding.I went into a movie.Didn't know what was playing.I just needed a moment to gathermy thoughts and be logical...... and put the world backinto rational perspective.I went up to the balcony...... and I sat down.The movie was one I'd seenmany times in my life...... since I was a kid,and I always loved it.I'm watching the screen...... and I started gettinghooked on the film.And I started to feel:"How can you thinkof killing yourself?Isn't it stupid?Look at all the people on-screen.They're funny, and what ifthe worst is true?There's no God, you onlygo around once, that's it.Don't you want to bepart of the experience?It's not all a drag. "And I'm thinking,"I should stop ruining my life...... searching for answers...... and just enjoy it while it lasts. "And after, who knows?Maybe there is something.I know "maybe" is a slim reedto hang your life on...... but that's the best we have.And then I started to sit back...... and I actually beganto enjoy myself.
There's something that's
been bothering me...
...and I thought I'd tell you
what it was...
...and clear the deck,
and that's this:
I've always regretted the way
I behaved that evening we went out.
I really made a fool out of myself.
No, don't be ridiculous. I was...
You know, it was my fault.
So you want to go out
to dinner again?
- You have any interest?
- Sure.
- Are you free this evening?
- Yeah.
- I want ice. Who's got some...
- It's on the table, Dad.
Where's Holly? She's late.
Did you read the last thing
Holly wrote? It's great.
She writes good dialogue.
Can I say that you're
playing Desdemona?
- Mom, it's only television.
- It's public television.
Shakespeare doesn't get
better than Othello.
You with some big black stud.
I love it.
Oh, honey!
Oh, Lee, you are something.You look very beautiful.Marriage agrees with you.Everything that happened between us...... seems more and more hazy.I acted like such a fool.I don't know what came over me.The complete conviction thatI couldn't live without you.What I put us both through.And Hannah, who, as you once said...... I love much more than I realized.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Daisy. I didn't miss dinner, did I?
Hi, Marge. Happy Thanksgiving.
- Hello.
- Happy Thanksgiving.
Thank you.
Looks beautiful.
It's just your husband.
- Hi. When did you get here?
- Just a few minutes ago.
- You look so beautiful.
- Thanks.
I was telling your father
that it's ironic...
I used to always have
Thanksgiving with Hannah...
...and I never thought
I could love anybody else.
Here it is years later.
I'm married to you and
completely in love with you.
The heart is a very,
very resilient little muscle.
It really is.
Make a great story:
Guy marries one sister.
Doesn't work out.
Then years later, he winds up
married to the other sister.
How are you gonna top that?
- Mickey?
- What?
I'm pregnant.