Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man
Script - Dialogue Transcript
Voila! Finally, the Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring
Mickey Rourke and Don Johnson. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
("Star Spangled Banner" on radio)
(DJ) Whoo, yeah!
That's about it for this Independence Day
as the clock rocks ladies and gentlemen, on July th, .
And do you know, fellow Americans, we are now years old.
We've just about, of course, wiped out the ozone layer.
We live under a continual smog alert and there's a new drug.
I don't know if you heard this. Check this out.
There's a new drug for the kids to bury themselves with called Crystal Dream.
Can you believe it? You don't drink it. You don't smoke it.
You don't snort it. You don't shoot it. What do you do, I know you're asking?
What you do is you put it in your eyes and apparently it tells you lies.
All this decadence and we still haven't nuked ourselves outta here. Amazing!
With a little luck I think maybe the human race might live to see another years.
And with that in mind, happy birthday, America!
("Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi)
It's all the same
Only the names will change
Every day
It seems we're wasting away
Another place
Where the faces are so cold
I'd drive all night
Just to get back home
I'm a cowboy
On a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted
Dead or alive
I'm wanted
Dead or alive
Sometimes I sleep
Sometimes it's not for days
The people I meet
Always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And time when you're all alone
All you do is think
I'm a cowboy
On a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted
Dead or alive
I'm wanted
Dead or alive
All right
I'm a cowboy
On a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted
Dead or alive
And I walk these streets
A loaded six-string on my back
Give me the money. Open the register and give me the fucking money now!
(man on floor) Don't hurt her, son.
Can I get bucks on pump two, Suzie?
- Hit the floor, asshole. - Stay down.
You know, this really pisses me off.
Your store's got such nice, clean, filtered fresh air and...
it just takes a couple of scumbags to stink it up.
I said hit the floor, asshole, or I'm gonna blow your fucking head off.
If I had a nickel for every time some piece of shit pointed a gun at me,
I'd be a rich man.
I'm gonna cut you long, wide and deep, motorhead.
Pump all the gas you can hold.
That's not good business.
Hey, mister, got a name?
Harley. Harley Davidson.
("The Bigger They Come" by Frampton/Marriott)
My old man used to tell me, before he left this shitty world,
there are five rules when shooting a game of pool for cash.
Lesson number one.
Always shoot with a cigarette hangin' in your mouth.
Can't smoke with no fire, asshole.
I quit.
Lesson two.
Always know the table before you shoot.
Lesson number three.
Make sure you chalk that stick real good before each shot.
Lesson four.
Never make a bet... if you can't pay the debt.
Lesson number five.
If you lose,
stand up straight and tall -
that corner - and walk like a man.
- (woman) I don't believe it. - (man) Well done, cowboy.
School's out, boys.
You better get the hell out of town, cowboy, before my cord snaps.
I'm good to go...
soon as I got five big bills in my pocket, or your woman in my bed.
I ain't got no $ cowboy.
And there's no way in hell you're beddin' down my woman.
My old man said there'd be blue-bellied, chicken-shit bastards like you.
You jumped on the wrong horse, cowboy.
Just in case you didn't notice, you're the only cowboy in this place.
He ain't no cowboy.
He's more like a pretty boy.
Pretty boy.
Hey, if he's such a pretty boy, you should be able to handle him all by yourself.
("Let's Work Together" by The Kentucky Headhunters)
Son of a bitch.
Pretty boy, huh?
Marlboro, when the hell are you gonna learn to hustle guys you can hustle?
You gotta think things out.
You think, Harley. I survive.
Where the hell you been, anyway?
Fixin' bikes.
Little shithole outside of Dallas.
- For two years? - I been thinkin'.
For two years?
I've been thinkin' about life.
That's the trouble with you, Harley.
You think too damn much.
(Harley) Man, I hate this city. But it's home, huh?
It's that time again, ain't it, Harley?
You're the only family I got, Marlboro.
Goddamn, that's a cryin' shame.
I could've had a family with Jenny Ann,
but marriage is for those other guys.
Amen.
Do you ever wonder if there could be something better?
Every day.
I don't mean like that. I mean somethin'...
Somethin' different.
- Talking about heaven? - I mean like... I mean like God.
You didn't go and get religious on me now, did you?
No, man, but just think about it.
If there is a heaven and a God, I'd like to meet the dude.
I'd like to go up there and hang out with him.
You ain't gonna meet God with me.
When I'm dead and done, I don't want no damn excuses for what I did.
Burbank. What happened?
The future.
Can you believe it?
They turned Burbank into a goddamn international airport.
("Stop The World" by The Screaming Jets)
(bike misfiring)
Shit. Son of a bitch.
You're a goddamn mess, Marlboro.
You need a new pair of boots and a new bike.
Lay off my boots.
But you're right about this rice-grinding horse.
Shit. Piece of shit.
I oughta give it a bullet and put it out of its misery.
Goddamn, Harley. If you were shootin' for shit, you wouldn't even get a whiff.
Hey.
Happy birthday.
You son of a bitch.
I almost forgot.
mag Desert Eagle.
Eight in the clip. One in the pipe.
That's nice, man. Thanks.
How's it feel to be an old man?
Older the bull, the stiffer the horn.
You gotta squeeze the trigger, Harley.
Don't yank it. It's not your dick.
Squeeze it.
All the tears inside
What an ache it will bring
God, I love this place.
To a telephone
That forgot how to ring
I could say you'll soon be back, dear
To fool the whole town may be smart
I'll tell them you'll soon be back, dear
But what can I tell my heart?
Hey, old man, half-time's over. You got a restaurant to run.
Man alive, Harley.
So good to see you.
I'm gonna regret it. I always do.
Yeah. Who are the suits?
Go back to wherever it is you ran off to.
I can't do that. I got some unfinished business.
Some business is better left unfinished.
What an ache
Not this business. I'll see you around.
Then I'll wander home
To a telephone
Oh, that forgot how to ring
I could say you'll soon be back, dear
To fool the whole town may be smart
I could say you'll soon be back, dear
Oh, but what will I tell my heart
You got a death wish?
You better leave that one alone, Harley.
You don't think Jack's still pissed off?
Pissed off at ya? Nah.
He wants to kill ya.
(applause, cheering)
(buzzer)
Hey, what's happening, Jose?
Look what the cat drug in.
Qué pasa, amigo?
How you doing? Good to see you.
He didn't think you were comin' back. Chompin' at the bit for some action.
Me and you are gonna rock 'n' roll, brother.
Jimmy and... Jack here?
Said he doesn't think you should go in. If you do, you're dead.
It's better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool.
on Jack! Place your bets.
on Jack.
Well, goddamn. Does he look like he's gotten bigger?
Maybe a little.
The book is closed! It is time for the main event.
Get set, gentlemen.
Now, may I ask one thing back here?
And that is two things. Be fair and be cool.
Wrestle!
Come on, Jack! Come on, Jack!
Come on, Jack! Come on, Jack!
Jack! Jack?
Goddamn!
Harley, what are you doin' back here?
- I missed all you guys. - I'm gonna kill you, Harley.
- Told you. - Get ready.
Jack, I don't want to fight with you. We're friends.
Was friends.
- Can't we talk this out? - Not a chance.
Talk's cheap. And I'm not buyin' any.
Hey, Jimmy, you wanna help me out here a little?
This is your world, homes. I'm just livin' in it.
Hurry up, Harley. It's gonna be bloody but quick.
You hold on.
(Marlboro) How much do you think we can get for this jacket?
What'd he say?
Vaya con Dios, amigo.
What's that mean?
Go with God.
Now, Jack, you know the last time we did this I kicked your ass.
That was in high school, Harley, and Jack had a broken arm.
I'm the one that did it.
You remember, Jack?
Goddamnit!
He was doin' pretty good up to there.
Oh...
I can't watch this.
Uh-oh.
He's fucked.
I'm gonna kill you, Harley.
I just picked the wrong flower.
I'd kill for you, Harley. How could you do that to me?
I've always been bad company with a good-Iooking woman in the room.
Stay away from her, Harley.
I love her. We're married.
It's always only been you, Jack.
She loves you.
- She does? - Just you.
- Never you? - No. Just you.
Sorry, buddy. Sorry.
I should've never let you in the door, Harley.
Thanks, man.
Never. Never.
- Never. - Sorry.
Goddamnit, Jack!
You're my brother-in-law and I love you,
but that don't get back the couple of grand we lost tonight.
The deal is you lose,
and don't tear his fuckin' arm off.
The old man and I have enough problems.
We're tryin' to make as much money as we can before we lose this place.
What do you mean, lose this place? You ain't gonna lose this place.
- It's a landmark. - That don't mean shit, homes.
If money talks and bullshit walks, we walkin'.
And it ain't gonna be down easy street.
What's the story, old man?
In ' I leased this property when nobody wanted to be seen on this side of the hill.
And in ' I renewed my lease on my own terms.
a month for years.
In days those years have run out.
Now with the whole world flyin' into Burbank,
they're tryin' to strong-arm us for $ . million for a five-year lease.
They're gonna put up another skyscraper.
- Who's tryin' to strong-arm you? - The bank.
- What bank? - Great Trust.
- The suits? - Hm-hmm.
Well...
there's only one place to get that kind of money so fast.
- No suit's gonna loan us $ . million. - (old man) That's for sure.
Man, I ain't talkin' about no loan.
- I don't wanna hear it, Harley. - Hear what?
- You don't wanna know. - Know what?
He's gonna say we should rob the bank.
We ain't gonna rob any damn bank. We ain't bank robbers.
We owe it to the old man. We grew up in this place.
You boys don't owe me anything.
(Harley) Sure, we do.
Hell, if it wasn't for you, we'd all be face-down in the gutter
with a cigarette for company and a...
a needle for good times.
I'm ready to go.
- OK, baby. In a minute. - Now!
Count me out of this one. I made a promise to Lulu.
You made me a lot of promises, Jack.
We were gonna have a baby someday.
Can't start a family from behind bars.
You know... I really love this place.
It's a home. Makes me feel good.
And if we gotta rob a bank to save it,
I'll do that.
But I can't do it alone.
You guys are gonna have to get it up too.
(radio) minutes Pacific and California. We'll check with you then. Over.
Roger, Dispatch.
We copy.
Shit!
Car this is Dispatch. Give me your - and security code, over.
Dispatch, we're at the shipyard.
What's with this hard-hat?
(horn)
You'll have to move your equipment. I got a delivery to make.
Are you deaf? I said you'll have to move your...
I heard what you said.
Drop your gun.
You won't like what you're getting into.
(Harley) From feet away there's a chance you could miss me.
I could be blind and still blow your head off, so drop it.
No, you drop it, asshole.
- Shit! - Think fast.
Shit!
Come on. Get over here. Sit down.
Guns are made to be shot, Harley, not thrown.
(Harley) Go do it, Jose.
You're the deadest shot I've ever seen. Where'd you learn to do that?
Read a book. Came with the gun.
Who are you guys?
He's Harley Davidson and I'm the Marlboro man.
You look like a bunch of two-bit hoods to me.
Does that look like the work of two-bit hoods?
Yeah. Pros would have used my keys.
He likes to blow things up.
Hot stuff. Watch it.
- Nice day for work, huh, Jimmy? - None better ever, homes.
Nice doing business with you boys.
Your business isn't with us. It's with them.
Whatever they've got to say, I don't wanna hear it.
- Let's rock it! We got company. - Shit, no.
Shit!
What the fuck is all this about?
Harley, throw that shotgun at 'em. Maybe you'll hit somethin'.
- I thought you was a dead shot. - So did I.
- Then why ain't they droppin'? - Beats the shit outta me.
(yelling)
Come on, guys.
- Come on, Harley! - Let's go, Jimmy!
(Jimmy) All right, you're a big fuckin' hero, big man! A big fuckin' hero!
You guys needed backup. I had nothing to do and no one to do it with.
Backup, hell. Harley's thinking damn near had us on the ropes.
Saved our lives, big boy.
You guys owe me a bike. I gotta get a new bike.
Hey, man, you'll get a new bike.
Promise you won't tell Lulu. I don't want her mad. She's mean when she's mad.
I can take care of the bike, but I can't take care of the bitch.
- Why not? You did once. - You might wanna take a look at this shit.
- What is it? - Unmelted, pure Crystal Dream.
What the fuck is that and what is it doin' here?
It's a drug. And I don't know what the fuck it's doin' here.
I'm a son of a bitch. We jumped the wrong train.
Fuck! Shit, man!
His little brother OD'd using this shit.
Don't worry, Jose, we ain't drug dealers.
This is not a walk in the park, Harley. This is way out there on the edge.
These guys are killers. They killed their own men tryin' to waste us.
That's enough, Jimmy.
I never liked this plan from the start.
But you needed help and you took it.
So don't whine about it now.
What's done is done. There's no turnin' back.
Who are these men?
Judging from the data we gathered, they're dilettantes.
Details would suggest that they were not aware of the cargo they've stolen.
If they're amateurs, how'd they destroy two vehicles
and then manage to get away with the goods?
They were extremely lucky.
I don't have time for luck, now, do I?
Get back what's mine.
And kill these men, Alexander, OK?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Man, we really fucked up big.
How was I supposed to know somebody's using a bank as a front to run drugs?
Harley, I'm tired and I'm pissed.
And I'd just like to unwind.
So stop thinkin'.
Now I gotta think of some way to make things right.
Hi.
I know you don't know me, but I don't have a way home
and Jimmy said that you'd give me a ride.
Sure, I'll give you a ride, Sally.
The name tag's wrong.
My real name's Honey.
Pure gold... and sweet.
I'm off at ten.
My old man used to tell me, before he left this shitty world,
the right woman can make you and the wrong one can break you.
I woke up one mornin'...
and she was gone.
No note. No kiss goodbye. No nothin'.
And I still have feelings for her deep inside.
Partner, I only know of two cures for that particular ailment.
And since you don't drink any more, you're down to one.
Let me borrow your bike.
I gotta take Sally home.
Get a cab.
(siren)
Stand up and put your hands behind your head.
I was just blowin' off a little steam.
You blew in the wrong place. Kiss the wall and spread 'em.
OK, cowboy, let's blow off some steam.
What's wrong tonight?
I'm getting married.
Goddamn you, Robert, I'm tired of waiting
for you to come by when you feel the need.
I get Ionely. I like to share my bed with someone at night.
Hell, isn't that what we're doin'?
One, maybe two nights a month, if I'm lucky.
Well, I am what I am, Virginia.
I've accepted that, even loved it. But I don't have to like it.
I get scared for you. I worry.
You could spend the rest of your life looking for what it is you're looking for,
but someday you'll have to find yourself.
I just can't wait for you to do it any more.
I love you, Robert.
But after tonight, you're not welcome here any more.
(rock music on radio)
Oh, fuck!
That's for Marlboro. Me and you'll go out and have somethin' to eat.
You're a bad man, Harley.
(Virginia) What are you two up to this time?
Do you know anything about this new drug, Crystal Dream?
It's % addictive and kills one out of every seven users.
Don't mess with it.
I don't mess with drugs no more, you know that.
It's a liquid-based blue crystalline substance with a neurotoxin RAH,
retina-activating hallucinogen.
So, it sort of numbs the senses and makes the world look better?
That's the high.
The low is it damages the central nervous system, causes insanity, then death.
On the street it's called the dream.
Thank you.
I'm broke.
You know something, Harley? In a weird way I'm jealous of you two.
Why's that?
The rest of us work so damn hard at life and you guys just live it one day at a time.
Yeah.
See ya.
What's with you and the old boots?
Lay off my boots, Harley. I'm in no fuckin' mood.
Did you have a rough night?
I woke up smellin' the coffee. Give me a light.
- I thought you quit? - Just give me a light.
- Whose bike? - Probably hers.
She ain't got no Harley.
What are you doin'?
It ain't hers, but I'll bet I know whose it is.
- Whose? - It's his.
You gotta cross and cut the red and the green wire.
I know how to hot-wire a bike. Don't tell me how to hot-wire a goddamn bike.
You gotta turn on the gas.
(bike starts)
If he's gonna take my girl, I'm gonna take his bike.
- You sure this is the right bank? - Yeah, I'm sure.
- How sure? - Hey, man, I'm real sure.
You were real sure there was gonna be money on that armoured truck.
And you were real sure this plan was gonna work.
You better be right about this or I'll break your head so you can't think no more.
Lighten up and tell me about that guy that's workin' Virginia.
Don't care. Didn't ask.
- You're gonna let her go just like that? - From where I stand, she let me go.
(Harley) If she wants you to chase her, that's the game.
My old man used to tell me, before he left this shitty world,
never chase buses or women.
You always get left behind.
I assume you're here to do business?
I'd like to do some business with you some other time.
But right now we got to talk to the man upstairs.
Stay on my tail.
No problem.
Looks like we really rattled the cage, Marlboro.
- This ain't gonna fly. - I'll bet you it flies.
- How much? - I'll bet you a dollar.
If you win you'll have to give me credit cos that cab fare last night broke me.
If I win, we're dead.
(phone rings)
Strap on your seat belt and get ready to fly.
American Airlines.
You've got something of mine and I want it back.
Really? What is that?
You know something, you've got balls. Big ones.
But they're not as big as you might think.
Well, mister, my balls are big enough to get your attention.
- What do you want? - How's about $ . million?
Wait a minute. Check that. I got a little side bet goin'.
Make that $ . million plus a buck.
When?
Where?
Airplane graveyard,
late, tonight.
You better call your boys off or you ain't gonna get nothin'.
Talk to you on the rebound... asshole.
Yes, sir?
Let 'em go, Alexander.
Let 'em go.
(helicopter overhead)
OK, let's do it.
You boys are good... for dilettantes.
They're not my boys, they're my friends.
Yeah. Let's see the crystals.
Let's see the cash.
Hey.
Open it real slow.
- Why the extra dollar? - We had a bet.
OK.
Well, it wasn't a walk in the park, but the job's done.
You did it. You did it, man.
Check this out, old man.
Besides Jimmy and Lulu and the rest of you,
this place is what keeps me comin' back day after day.
Thank you for givin' that back to me.
I've got things to do.
- Tomorrow we open for good. - All right. All right, Pops.
Whoo!
Man, I am thankful for this.
But you boys are whacked out, you know that?
I'm talkin' about you, Harley.
- That's what friendship's about. - It's done and it's done good.
So let's take the edge off. Come here, Marlboro, get in this.
To Lulu, who'd kill me if she knew what I helped do.
But because I did it, she still has a job.
To Lulu.
What's wrong? We done good tonight.
Shit, Harley, we're way out of our league, man.
It was too easy.
I think we oughta get out of Dodge, let things cool off for a while.
(Marlboro) Look at this shit.
- How the fuck did they find us? - I don't know.
And I damn sure don't wanna find out.
Not this again. I can't deal with this again, Harley.
The old man's got it under control.
Yeah, tell them we were in but we left.
That's right, boy, take your pussy friends and get the hell out of here.
Oops. I don't think he liked that.
I don't give a flying fuck what he likes.
- We gotta get the hell outta here. - No kidding!
I'm gonna fuckin' die today, Harley, and I blame you.
No, we're gonna live, and we're gonna go through that window to do it.
Jack, cover me.
Jack, come on!
(Jack) I'm right behind you.
Jack?
Jack?
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Sh, sh, sh.
Lady? Lady, hey, hey, hey.
Take it easy. We don't wanna hurt you.
Take her.
"Take her" he says!
Jesus, lady.
Hey! This is a restricted area, man.
Sh, sh.
You're gonna have to scoot, and I mean fast.
Hey, chump, in case you don't hear so good, I said get the fuck outta here.
(Marlboro) I hate this fuckin' town.
Hey, man, you don't know anything about this city.
I grew up here, you dumb bastard.
- I didn't know that. - What you don't know is a lot.
You mean to tell me that real cowboys,
I mean, shit-kickin' rodeo cowboys, come from Vegas?
Some of the best.
Maybe even one of the best.
Man, I know you don't wanna be here.
We're just gonna stay long enough to clean up and get some sleep.
Yeah, OK.
Did I ever tell you the time I lost my cherry to a fat girl in a room just like this?
It was in Mesquite, Texas. Her name was Annie.
Wasn't too good puttin' us up on this top floor.
There was a convention in town. It was all we could get.
Makes for a tough getaway.
They're not gonna find us here. They can't.
I wouldn't bet on that.
Why don't you stop whinin'? You're startin' to sound like Jimmy.
Jimmy's dead, you heartless piece of shit.
Four of our friends got killed tonight.
They're gone. Fuckin' tagged-on-the-toe dead.
Does that matter to you?
Do you fuckin' care?
Marlboro, I didn't force anyone to do it.
They took the chance and they knew the risk.
All right, look, it's my fault.
And I gotta live with it.
But right now me and you gotta pull it together if we're gonna survive.
(phone rings)
Hello.
(Marlboro) Hello.
Hey.
Where are you? Are you all right?
Las Vegas.
I called because I'm drunk and I'm tired.
I just wanted to hear your voice.
Tell me exactly where you are and what you've done, and I can help.
No. Can't do that.
I've already dug too many graves. None of them my own.
Robert.
You keep running and sooner or later you'll end up like your dad.
Drunk, dead and alone. And all you can do is hold on and wait.
Robert?
Hello?
Are you there?
Harley, let's go. We got company.
- Hey, I know how they found us. - Tell me later.
Please, God, let us get out of this one.
I promise I'll change.
- That's bullshit, Harley. - I'll fuckin' try.
(lift bell)
Shit!
Up! They're going up!
Holy shit!
Come on!
We're at death's door, Harley, and the devil's a-knockin'.
You better think up of somethin' fast or start your ass prayin' for real.
Put your gun away. We're gonna jump.
Are you out of your fuckin' mind?
You got a better idea?
Whatever the hell they're wearing's made outta die-hard blue steel, Harley.
All right, take my hand, man.
No!
- It's the only way. - I don't care.
- I'm gonna do it. - Do it!
- You'll get shot up here. - You'll get smashed down there.
- I'd rather be smashed than shot. - Not me.
All right. Fuck you! You stay up here and you get shot and die!
I owe you that.
I hate you for this, Harley. I fuckin' hate you for this.
I hate you, Harley.
Shit!
Was that intense or what?
We gotta go back, Harley.
What the fuck you talkin' about?
We survived. It's over.
It ain't over.
Hey, man, it's definitely over. See this?
It's out of commission.
That means that them fuckers can't keep comin' out of nowhere any more.
We still got a bunch of money we didn't get for ourselves,
and a bar full of dead friends in LA.
It ain't over.
This ain't right.
And we owe it to our friends to make it right.
Hey, man, I ain't makin' any plans for you and me for a long time.
We came out alive, we came out ahead, and I ain't doin' it.
Goddamnit, Harley. We ain't ahead.
And if bein' alive means living on the run, then I don't want it.
Marlboro, you do what you think is right, right?
I'm gonna stay alive.
Better to be dead and cool than alive and uncool.
("Hardline" by Waylon Jennings)
(banging on door)
What do you want?
Virginia.
- She's asleep. - Wake her up.
(arguing)
You've got until we reach the sidewalk to say what you've got to say.
Mr Trigger-happy a cop too?
He just made lieutenant.
He the guy?
What do you want, Robert?
You want my help? My sympathy? My hand in marriage? What?
I don't...
I don't know what I want.
But I know what I don't want.
I don't want whatever there was between us...
to end without telling you...
you've been the better part of my life, the best part of my life.
Goodbye, Virginia.
Robert?
Fightin' on the front line
Victim of a heart crime
Can't just let you steal my heart away
Sorry I'm late. I had a layover in Denver.
- (Harley) Are you and me friends? - Sure, we're friends.
Then how come, with all this shit that me and you have been through,
I've asked you the same question a thousand times
and you ain't never answered me?
What question?
What's with you and those fuckin' boots?
My old man gave me these boots.
First time I rode in a professional rodeo.
It was the first and last thing he ever gave me.
Marlboro, you could've told me that.
I kinda figured it was between him and me.
I got thrown and busted my arm in four places.
Hey, I think you should do it again.
Someday. Maybe.
- Where the hell did you get that hog leg? - In Denver.
This is a Ruger Super Blackhawk.
conversion.
- Goddamn, that's too much gun for you. - It's what I learned with.
Nobody learns with a converted .
I did.
That explains it.
I've been through a lot of shit in my life.
But up until about three weeks ago,
the only goddamn thing I ever shot at was tin cans.
I never wanted to shoot at nobody in anger.
And I sure as shit ain't never wanted to kill nobody.
Me, neither.
(beeping)
Take up a heading of zero one zero. They're seven clicks northeast of here.
The same heading my co-pilot shouted out the day we choppered into Khe Sanh.
- Last thing the ugly bastard ever said. - Shut the fuck up and fly, Tom.
OK. OK.
God, if you do exist and you're up there watchin'
from wherever it is you're watchin' from, just look away for a minute.
(Marlboro) Remember, these bastards are bulletproof.
So aim for their heads. Dead centre.
You might wanna hold onto that cannon with both hands.
Don't yank. Don't pull.
Squeeze. You ready?
- Let's rock 'n' roll these motherfuckers. - Let's make things right.
That gun costs about two bucks every time you fire it.
That's two bucks a bullet.
How many did I hit?
You spent bucks and didn't hit a goddamn thing.
I nailed one and it cost four and a quarter.
Where'd they go?
Right there and they're spendin' a fortune.
We really pissed them off this time.
No shit. Come on, let's go.
(clang)
Harley?
Are you shootin'?
- Harley? - What?
That's two for me. You better get off your ass, Harley.
Give me a break. God knows I'm tryin'.
You better ask God for some help. We ain't done yet.
Fuck! Shit! Piss!
Horseshit in a bear's ass!
Two bucks.
That's four.
Six.
Twelve.
You're gonna die today.
If you wanna make it fast, tell me where the money is.
If you wanna make it slow, don't.
It's your choice.
It's a good day for dyin'. I'll do it slow.
Hey, slick. Cut him loose.
Shit. I'm a dead man.
Where is the money?
Where is the money?
Squeeze it, Harley. Just squeeze it.
- Shit. - Shit!
That hurt, Harley. That hurt bad.
Looks like your luck just ran out.
Now, where is the money?
Shoot him, goddamnit!
Keep shooting. You'll make my job easier.
Shoot the bastard! Don't think, just shoot him!
Shoot him!
That one's for you. How'd it feel?
Best twelve bucks I ever spent.
Son of a bitch!
How are you feelin'?
Like I've been rode hard and put up wet.
Shake it off. We got one more.
Let's go.
I can't believe you fuckin' shot me, Harley.
Dickhead, you fuckin' shot me.
I can't believe you shot me, you shit bird.
(pilot) I find it hard to believe you greased those cue balls.
But it's a good thing somebody did.
- Yeah? Why's that? - They were pussies.
Their clothes were made outta that lightweight Japanese Kevlar.
(speaks Japanese)
All right, pal, this is your last paycheck. You work for us now.
(speaks Japanese)
Here's what we'll do.
As soon as I ask him to change the lease and he says no, just shoot his ass dead.
- Why me? - I'm all out of bullets.
Howard, it's good to hear from you too. What do you want from me? Spit it out.
Listen, Howard, I'm not interested in the Third World.
Too much can go the wrong way and not much can go our way.
We've had this discussion. I don't ever want to have it again.
Say hello to your wife. You're married, aren't you?
Lookin' for Chance Wilder. You him?
That's right.
Deal away, Harley.
Well, here.
This is yours. We took it. It wasn't right of us.
So now you can change the lease back to the Rock 'N' Roll Bar and Grille.
No handouts. No breaks.
Just a fair deal, that's all we're asking.
You guys must be charmed to have made it this far.
Four of our friends are dead.
No, we're not charmed. We're just pissed off.
That's too bad.
That's too bad.
Sorry I pissed you off.
Listen, the lease stands, OK? So that's the end of that story.
So if you came here to kill me, do it now. If not, get the fuck outta here.
I don't have the time to play with guys like you, OK? I'm very busy.
This ain't a game.
All business is a game one way or another.
- Sellin' drugs ain't no game. - It's not your average game.
I make $ a year to sit in this office and run this bank, OK?
I make another $ million a year to sit in the same office and run those drugs.
Now, that's a big game and it's big time.
The game's over. Go ahead and do it, Marlboro.
What are you waitin' for? Kill him and let's get outta here.
I can't do it.
It's not right.
Hey, this scumbag killed four of our friends just for laughs.
Still doesn't make it right.
What are you talkin' about?
My old man used to tell me, before he left this shitty world,
never shoot an unarmed man.
Fuck your old man. He's dead.
Leave my old man out of this, all right?
- Now he's armed. - That gun's empty, Harley.
So what? This piece of shit gives drugs to kids.
Drop it!
You guys, did you really think you were just gonna walk in here and shoot me?
- You thought that, didn't you? - That was the plan.
Yeah, that was the plan.
You guys, you guys are a piece of work.
You got an edge. And I like that. I do. I like that.
It almost makes me sorry that I have to kill you. But I do. I do right now.
What'd you do? You pay him?
No, man, that was your money. You paid him. He did that for free.
You guys. Like your buddy said, fuck your old man.
He's dead, right? Fuck him. Let's see what you're made of.
Think fast!
Harley!
- Good timing. - I told you to shoot the fuck.
Hey, guns are made to be shot, not thrown.
I was just tryin' to even the odds.
Where're you goin' this time?
Who says I'm goin'?
You always do, Harley. It's that time.
You wanna come with me?
I can't.
I shouldn't have asked. You never say yes.
Get the hell outta here.
Vaya con Dios, amigo.
Robert Lee Edison, a third-generation cowboy with his own brand of misery.
He hails from Las Vegas, and hasn't seen the back of a bull's neck
since he got off real hard in the National Finals Rodeo seven years ago.
Let's see what he gets done on a bull called Hondo,
the top bull of the Diamond S rodeo company.
OK, big boy, let's make it a good one.
Outside!
OK, cowboy.
Hey.
Where you headin'?
- Nowhere special. - Come on, I'll take you there.
("Ride With Me" by BlackEyed Susan)
("C'mon" by The Screaming Jets)