Harvey Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Harvey script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Jimmy Stewart and a giant bunny rabbit.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Harvey. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Harvey Script


   

                   

After you.



 

                   

Is this 348?

Yes, it is.



 

                   

I've got a special delivery

here. That sounds interesting.



 

                   

It's for Dowd. Dowd's my name. Elwood P.



 

                   

Here, sir. Let me give you one of my cards.



 

                   

That won't be necessary.

Just sign right here. Uh-huh.



 

                   

Beautiful day. Every day's a beautiful day.



 

                   

Thank you.



 

                   

He was a nice man.



  

                   

Come on.



  

                   

Thank heavens

he's gone!



  

                   

Oh, Myrtle, it's

a wonderful feeling...



  

                   

to have your relative out of the

house before the company comes.



  

                   

You're sure Uncle Elwood won't

come back and spoil everything?



  

                   

Of course not, dear. Your uncle

always spends the afternoon...



  

                   

downtown at those filthy bars

and taverns, you know that.



  

                   

I'll go tell the cateress

to get started.



  

                   

Why, Miss Johnson, what

are you doing? Leaving.



  

                   

Miss Johnson, you were hired

to serve as well as cater.



  

                   

Our guests will be here any

minute. Now, Miss Johnson...



  

                   

Myrtle, let me handle this,

dear. Miss Johnson, what's wrong?



  

                   

There was a man here a minute ago

and he stopped and he spoke to me.



  

                   

You didn't tell him anything about our

party, did you? I didn't tell him nothin'!



  

                   

He gave me his card. Here. And

then he introduced me to somebody.



  

                   

To whom? Do you think I'd

stay in this house after that?



  

                   

Um, well...

Oh!



  

                   

People get run over by trucks every day.

Why can't that happen to Uncle Elwood?



  

                   

Myrtle Mae Simmons,

I'm ashamed of you!



  

                   

Even if people do call your uncle

peculiar, he is still my baby brother...



  

                   

and this is not his

fault. Whose fault is it?



  

                   

We'll get the cook to do the

serving. Come and lend me a hand.



  

                   

We haven't got much time.

Elvira!



  

                   

If it isn't his fault,

whose fault is it?



  

                   

I know whose fault it is, but I'm

not telling. You're not telling?



  

                   

Elvira?



  

                   

Elvira, you can bring

those things in now.



  

                   

Mother, why can't we live

like other people?



  

                   

Do I have

to keep reminding you...



  

                   

your Uncle Elwood is not living

with us, we're living with him?



  

                   

Living with him and his pal! You promised!



  

                   

- His pal Harvey!

- Oh, you said that name.



  

                   

You promised you wouldn't say

that name and you said it!



  

                   

Mother, why did grandmother leave

all her property to Uncle Elwood?



  

                   

I suppose it was because

she died in his arms.



  

                   

People are sentimental

about things like that.



  

                   

You always say that

and it doesn't make sense.



  

                   

She couldn't make out a will after

she died, could she? Don't be didactic.



  

                   

It's not becoming in a young

girl. Besides, men loathe it.



  

                   

Men! A fine chance

I've got!



  

                   

Dear, the whole idea of this

party this afternoon is to...



  

                   

Is to get you started socially, so

that you can meet some nice young men.



  

                   

What's the use?

Myrtle Mae Simmons,



  

                   

her uncle, Elwood P. Dowd,

is the biggest screw...



  

                   

Screwball in town!

Who'd want me?



  

                   

Myrtle, dear, you're sweet

and you have so much to offer.



  

                   

I don't care what anyone says, there's

something sweet about every young girl.



  

                   

And a man takes that sweetness

and look what he does with it!



  

                   

Oh, show some poise, dear. I

want you to charm Mrs. Chauvenet.



  

                   

She has a grandson

just about your age.



  

                   

A lot of good that'll do if Uncle Elwood

comes home. Uncle Elwood won't be home.



  

                   

Or will he? I'm going to telephone

Judge Gaffney. We can't take any chances.



  

                   

Mother,

you better hurry!



  

                   

Mrs. Halsey and Miss

Tewksbury are here already.



  

                   

Oh, dear.

Yes, dear, I am hurrying.



  

                   

Hurry, Mother. They're

getting out of the car.



  

                   

Oh...



  

                   

Judge Gaffney, please.

Mrs. Veta Simmons calling.



  

                   

Yes?



  

                   

Oh, put her on.



  

                   

Veta, my girl,

this is a pleasure.



  

                   

Judge, we haven't got

a moment to lose.



  

                   

I'm having the Wednesday Forum over

for a program tea for Ethel Chauvenet.



  

                   

Elwood has just gone out, but

I'm so afraid he may come back.



  

                   

You can understand why.

Oh!



  

                   

Hello, Miss Tewksbury,

Mrs. Halsey.



  

                   

Go right into the drawing room.

Myrtle, take their things.



  

                   

Yes, you've got to help me,

Judge.



  

                   

You've got to help me.

I can't...



  

                   

Speak up, Veta!



  

                   

What? I can't make out...

Is that so?



  

                   

Oh, yoo-hoo, Mrs. Streickelberger.

Hello, Mrs. Simmons.



  

                   

Oh, no, no, no.

Yes, that'll be all right.



  

                   

You can depend on me.



  

                   

All right.



  

                   

Minninger, in a few minutes, a

man will be crossing the square.



  

                   

He'll be wearing a hat and coat and

carrying another one over his arms.



  

                   

I want you to follow him. If necessary,

even confront him, quietly, of course.



  

                   

But at all events, I want you to

prevent him from returning to his house.



  

                   

His sister is giving a party. He wouldn't

fit in. His name is Elwood P. Dowd.



  

                   

Elwood Dowd, sir! Couldn't

you get someone else?



  

                   

Kratke maybe or Beck?

They're bigger than I am.



  

                   

You'll be able to hide better. Hurry and

stick with him all afternoon. Quickly, boy.



  

                   

Yes, sir.



  

                   

Oh, elevator!



  

                   

Come in.



  

                   

Yes?

Who is it?



  

                   

Oh! The doctor

will see you in a minute.



  

                   

Good afternoon, Mr. Dowd. Howdy do?



  

                   

We must be

more careful.



   

                   

After you.



   

                   

How do, Mr. Dowd? Afternoon, Mr. Cracker.



   

                   

Excuse me.



   

                   

How is he? Oh, he's just

fine, fine. How are you?



   

                   

Oh, can't complain.

That's good.



   

                   

Is this all right?

You sure, hmm?



   

                   

Well, all right. Give you a hand

there. Whoop, don't slip! There.



   

                   

You sure this is all right? You

wouldn't rather sit in a booth?



   

                   

Well, all right. Would he prefer a booth?



   

                   

Thank you, Mr. Cracker. He

seems to prefer the bar today.



   

                   

Good afternoon

to you, sir.



   

                   

Mr. Meegles is back. Oh!



   

                   

Well!



   

                   

You...

Excuse me a minute.



   

                   

Mr. Meegles, this is a

pleasure! We've missed you.



   

                   

How are you, Mr. Dowd? Fine.



   

                   

And how is he? Oh, he's

splendid, thank you. Splendid.



   

                   

He decided he wanted to come over

here this afternoon, so here we are.



   

                   

Sit down. Oh, thank you. You've been away.



   

                   

For    days. Been doin' a job for

the state. Makin' license plates.



   

                   

Oh, is that so?

Interesting work?



   

                   

I can take it or leave it alone. Oh, I see.



   

                   

I did a job for 'em last year

too. Helpin' 'em build a road.



   

                   

Oh. Well, Mr. Meegles, we'll just

have to do something about your return.



   

                   

Would you like to come to

my house for dinner tonight?



   

                   

Oh, thanks, Mr. Dowd,

but I couldn't make it tonight.



   

                   

Ah, tomorrow night?

Would that suit you?



   

                   

Yes, yes! But you know,

the last time I was there...



   

                   

I kinda got the impression your sister held

it against me because I did a little time.



   

                   

Oh, no. My sister loves to

entertain. She's very social.



   

                   

Yes, I see by the papers. You know

I never miss the society column.



   

                   

You don't? No. She's giving

a clambake this afternoon.



   

                   

This afternoon?

Yeah.



   

                   

"Reception, program and tea,"

it says here,



   

                   

"for the members of the Wednesday Afternoon

Forum," for that rich Mrs. "Shuvanut."



   

                   

Cheva... Yes,

that's Aunt Ethel.



   

                   

Is this today's paper?



   

                   

Veta didn't tell me anything about

this. Must've slipped her mind.



   

                   

Well, I'll see you tomorrow

night at  :   Mr. Meegles, huh?



   

                   

Thanks, Mr. Dowd. Very glad

to have seen you. Good-bye.



   

                   

Harvey,

I just found out...



   

                   

Now, what can I do for you?

What did you have in mind?



   

                   

What's your order?



   

                   

Two martinis.

Two martinis.



   

                   

Harvey, it seems that Veta is

having a party this afternoon.



   

                   

And l...

Hmm? Oh, you knew?



   

                   

Well, I just thought she might

be offended if we weren't there.



   

                   

After all, she's the only sister

I have and l... How's that?



   

                   

And the only one I'm ever likely to

have. Yes, you're absolutely right.



   

                   

We'd better hurry, huh?



   

                   

That'll be

four bits.



   

                   

The one at the end will pay

for it. Oh, he'd be delighted.



   

                   

He'd be delighted.



   

                   

Well...

let's drink up.



   

                   

My love



   

                   

Will take me flying

to the sky



   

                   

On a steed

with golden wings



   

                   

And then

we'll ride away



   

                   

Forever high

on the moon



   

                   

On a star

on a cloud



   

                   

In his arms



   

                   

I will stay



   

                   

Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh



   

                   

Ahh



   

                   

Hop, hop, hop, hop hippity

hop on a golden steed



   

                   

Hop, hop, hop, hop hippity

hop Love is all I need



   

                   

Ahh-ah, ahh-ah



   

                   

Hop, hop, hop, hop hippity

hop on a golden steed



   

                   

Hop, hop, hop, hop hippity

hop Love is all I need



   

                   

Mother.

Shh-shh.



   

                   

Mrs. Chauvenet is here.

Mrs. Chauvenet is here? Oh.



   

                   

Aunt Ethel! Veta Louise

Simmons, I thought you were dead.



   

                   

Oh, no! I'm very much alive, thank you.



   

                   

And this is my daughter

Myrtle Mae.



   

                   

My dear, you're your grandmother

all over again. I was at her funeral.



   

                   

And now, where is Elwood?

Elwood couldn't be home.



   

                   

That's Miss Tewksbury singing.

She'll be through in a minute.



   

                   

Oh, shame on him! That was the main

reason I came. I want to see Elwood.



   

                   

Do you realize, Veta,

I haven't seen Elwood in years?



   

                   

I was saying to Mr. Chauvenet...

What do you want, my dear?



   

                   

Just the other night, "What on earth

do you think happened to Elwood Dowd?



   

                   

"He never comes to

the Yale Alumni Dances anymore.



   

                   

I haven't seen him at the club

or the horse show in years."



   

                   

Does Elwood see anybody

these days?



   

                   

Yes, Aunt Ethel, Elwood sees

somebody. Yes, Aunt Ethel, he does.



   

                   

Is Elwood happy,

Veta Louise?



   

                   

Oh, yes, Aunt Ethel, Elwood's

very happy. You mustn't worry.



   

                   

There's Mrs. Cummings.

She's waving at you.



   

                   

Is that Mrs. Frank Cummings? Doesn't

she look ghastly? I thought she was dead.



   

                   

I must get a closer look.



   

                   

We can go in now. What did I do with my...



   

                   

Oh, there it is.



   

                   

Oh, no!



   

                   

Elwood! Elwood Dowd!

Bless your heart!



   

                   

Aunt Ethel.

What a pleasure...



   

                   

to find a beautiful woman waiting

for me. Elwood, you haven't changed.



   

                   

Elwood!



   

                   

Well, you both

look lovely.



   

                   

Some mail came for you. It looked

important so I put it up in your room.



   

                   

Did you, Veta?

That was nice of you.



   

                   

Aunt Ethel, I'd like to have

you meet a very dear...



   

                   

Aunt Ethel, don't you want some

tea? Not just now, thank you.



   

                   

There's punch if you don't

like tea. But I do like tea.



   

                   

Stop pulling me,

you two.



   

                   

Elwood, what night next week can you come

to dinner? You and Veta and Myrtle Mae?



   

                   

I'll have Ordway there.

Ordway is my grandson.



   

                   

Any night at all, I'd be

delighted. I'd like to meet Ordway.



   

                   

And now, Aunt Ethel,

I'd like you to meet Harvey!



   

                   

Harvey, you've heard me speak of Aunt

Ethel Chauvenet. One of my dearest friends.



   

                   

She's the one who...

Hmm?



   

                   

Th-That's right. Well, this

is the one. No, she's the one!



   

                   

She... He says he would've

known you anywhere.



   

                   

Well, now we must go in and

greet the rest of our friends.



   

                   

Come along, Harvey.



   

                   

Oh, Aunt Ethel,

will you pardon me?



   

                   

You're standing

in his way.



   

                   

There we are.



   

                   

I'll see you in a minute.



   

                   

I can see that you're disturbed

about Harvey. Please don't be.



   

                   

He stares that way at

everybody. It's his way.



   

                   

But he likes you, I can

tell. He likes you very much.



   

                   

I'm, I'm coming, Harvey.



   

                   

Well, I... I think

I'll be running along.



   

                   

No tea? Or punch? No, no. Thank you.



   

                   

Perhaps a nice lemon fizz...

I'll be going. Good-bye.



   

                   

with a turkey wing

and some walnut dressing?



   

                   

Oh, no!



   

                   

Elwood.



   

                   

Oh, no.

Not Mrs. Halsey.



   

                   

She has a nephew. He's a little bit

old, but he would have done in a pinch.



   

                   

She has a nephew. He's a little bit

old, but he would have done in a pinch.



   

                   

Oh, Mother, I can't face

those people. I just can't!



   

                   

Your uncle has disgraced us for the last

time in this house. I'm going to see to that.



   

                   

You're no match for him.

He always gets the best of you.



   

                   

Where are you going? Upstairs to pack.



   

                   

I'm going to lose myself in some strange

city. I'm going to change my name!



   

                   

Don't do that yet,

dear!



   

                   

Wait until I telephone

Judge Gaff... Judge Gaffney.



   

                   

I'm going to do something

I should've done long ago.



   

                   

I don't understand it, Veta. Mr.

Minninger is as trustworthy as the Bible.



   

                   

I don't know anything about

your Mr. Minninger.



   

                   

But I do know Elwood Dowd when I see

him and he's here. He's here, I tell you.



   

                   

If you insist he's there, then I must

act on the assumption that he's there.



   

                   

Minninger!

You failed!



   

                   

I didn't fail, Judge.

I haven't tried yet.



   

                   

I've been in

the doctor's office.



   

                   

Oh, excuse me.

Hold on, Judge.



   

                   

Mrs. Halsey, Mrs. Krausmeyer.

You're not leaving, are you?



   

                   

I just remembered the horse show

is today. Good-bye. It's been jolly.



   

                   

Won't you join us

tomorrow night?



   

                   

Harvey and I are having a

few people in for Mr. Meegles.



   

                   

Forgive me, Mrs. Simmons. One of my

stupid headaches. Such a lovely party.



   

                   

Good-bye, good-bye.



   

                   

Elwood, I'd like to talk...



   

                   

W-W-W...



   

                   

There.

There we are.



   

                   

I'd like to talk to you, Elwood.

I like to talk to you too.



   

                   

This is very important. Would

you mind coming into the library?



   

                   

Oh, of course, Veta.



   

                   

Elwood, I want

to talk to you.



   

                   

Oh!



   

                   

I want you to wait here.

Don't move. I'll be right back.



   

                   

Certainly, sister. I happen

to have a little free time now.



   

                   

You're welcome to all of it,

Veta. Want Harvey to wait too?



   

                   

Oh, yes! Yes, Elwood.

I certainly do.



   

                   

Hello! Speak up, I say.



   

                   

Did you say something,

Harvey? Who said that?



   

                   

Veta Louise, are you there?

Are you there, girl?



   

                   

Hello? Veta?



   

                   

Hello.

Who is it please?



   

                   

Oh, Judge, I'm so glad you

called. I was going to call you.



   

                   

Oh, um... Omar,



   

                   

we've got to take those steps

we discussed once.



   

                   

Yes. I want you to make

all the arrangements.



   

                   

Yes.

By all means, yes.



   

                   

That was Omar. We've been

neglecting the Judge lately.



   

                   

Veta, do you know that it's been weeks

since Harvey and I've been up to his office?



   

                   

Let's go tomorrow, shall we?

Elwood, you and I may take a ride.



   

                   

Oh, I'd like that! Only

the other day Harvey said,



   

                   

"It's certainly been a long time

since we've been for a drive."



   

                   

You're sweet and thoughtful. Don't

forget to wait for me. I'll be right back.



   

                   

Make yourself comfortable,

Harvey.



   

                   

There.

All right?



   

                   

Veta wants to talk to us.



   

                   

She, uh,

says it's very important.



   

                   

I think she wants

to congratulate us...



   

                   

on the impression we made

at her party.



   

                   

Jane Austin.

Sense and Sensibility.



   

                   

Hmm?

Oh...



   

                   

Random House.



   

                   

No, deluxe edition.



   

                   

Usual acknowledgments.



   

                   

Chapter One.



   

                   

"The family of Dashwood had

been long settled in Sussex..."



   

                   

Will you wait here for me,

Elwood, dear?



   

                   

You want both of us to

wait? Oh, yes, both of you.



   

                   

I won't be long.



   

                   

Driver, driver, will you

keep an eye on him, please?



   

                   

I won't be but a minute.



   

                   

Charming place, isn't

it, Harvey? Name's Henry.



   

                   

It's Henry, Harvey.

No, just plain Henry.



   

                   

Hmm, oh!

My name's Dowd, Elwood P.



   

                   

Let me give you one

of my cards.



   

                   

If you should ever want to

call me, call me at this number.



   

                   

Don't call me at that one.

That's the old one.



   

                   

If you happen to lose the card,

don't worry, I have plenty more.



   

                   

Mrs. O.R. Simmons.    

Temple Drive. Is that right?



   

                   

Yes. We were born

and raised there.



   

                   

It's old, but we love it.

It's our home.



   

                   

And you wish to enter your brother

at the sanitarium for treatment?



   

                   

What is your brother's

name? It's... Oh, dear.



   

                   

Mrs. Simmons,

what is your brother's name?



   

                   

I'm sorry. Life is

not easy for any of us.



   

                   

It's Dowd.

Elwood P. Dowd.



   

                   

Elwood P. Dowd.

His age?



   

                   

Forty-two

the   th of last April.



   

                   

He's Taurus,

Taurus the bull.



   

                   

I'm Leo, and Myrtle's on the

cusp. You have him with you now?



   

                   

Oh, yes. He's outside

waiting in a taxi cab.



   

                   

I told him to wait. He

always does what I tell him.



   

                   

I see. Is he married?

No, Elwood never married.



   

                   

He always stayed with

Mother. He loved his home.



   

                   

Yeah? Wilson, there's a

Mr. Dowd outside in a cab.



   

                   

Will you ask him if he'll be good enough

to step up to room    South Wing "G"?



   

                   

Ask him? Wilson, this is

his sister, Mrs. Simmons.



   

                   

Oh, how do?



   

                   

Why certainly.

I'll be glad to escort him.



   

                   

I'll see if Dr. Sanderson

can see you, Mrs. Simmons.



   

                   

Dr. Sanderson? I want to

see Dr. Chumley himself.



   

                   

Dr. Sanderson is the one who sees

everybody. Dr. Chumley sees no one.



   

                   

I'll tell him

you're here.



   

                   

l-lsn't this wonderful, Veta? Okay, buddy!



   

                   

Oh, you startled me!



   

                   

I'm sorry, Mrs. Simmons.

I am Dr. Sanderson. Oh.



   

                   

Miss Kelly tells me you're concerned

about your brother, Mister, uh, Mister...



   

                   

The card, Miss Kelly.



   

                   

Miss Kelly!

The card, please.



   

                   

Mr. Dowd? Elwood P. Dowd. This way.



   

                   

I'm sorry if I awakened you,

Miss Kelly.



   

                   

I'm so...



   

                   

I do hope you don't think

I'm always as jumpy as this.



   

                   

This is not easy for me,

Doctor.



   

                   

These things aren't easy

for the family. I understand.



   

                   

Won't you sit down,

Miss Simmons? Thank you.



   

                   

How long has it been since you first noticed

any peculiarity in your brother's actions?



   

                   

As a baby,

he was perfectly normal.



   

                   

I know. I was his big sister

and I had to change him.



   

                   

Babies do need changing,

you know.



   

                   

I noticed that he seemed

to be different...



   

                   

after we came back

after Mother had died.



   

                   

Myrtle Mae and I came back from

Des Moines to live with Elwood.



   

                   

I could see that he...



   

                   

That he...

That he what?



   

                   

Take your time.

Don't strain.



   

                   

Just, just let it come.

I'll wait for it.



   

                   

Doctor, everything I say to

you is confidential, isn't it?



   

                   

I am not a gossip. I am

a psychiatrist. Of course.



   

                   

For one thing, he

drinks. Mm-hmm. To excess?



   

                   

To excess?



   

                   

Don't you call it excess when

a man never lets a day go by...



   

                   

without stepping

into some cheap tavern,



   

                   

bringing home a lot of riffraff,

people you never heard of?



   

                   

If you don't call that excess, Doctor,

I'm sure I don't know what excess is.



   

                   

I didn't doubt

your statement.



   

                   

I merely wanted to know

if your brother drinks.



   

                   

Yes, I say definitely

Elwood drinks. Mm-hmm.



   

                   

I want him committed

out here permanently...



   

                   

because I cannot stand

another day of that Harvey!



   

                   

Don't you think it would have been

a little bit kinder of Mother...



   

                   

if she'd written us about

him. Now, be honest. Don't you?



   

                   

I really couldn't answer

that question. I can!



   

                   

Yes, it certainly

would have.



   

                   

This person

that you call Harvey,



   

                   

who is he?

He's a rabbit.



   

                   

Yes, perhaps.

But just who is he?



   

                   

Someone your brother picked up

in one of these bars?



   

                   

I've been telling you,

Harvey is a rabbit!



   

                   

A big white rabbit six feet high,

or is it six feet, three and a half?



   

                   

Heaven knows, I ought to know. He's

been around the house long enough!



   

                   

Mrs. Simmons, if I'm not

mistaken... Don't you understand?



   

                   

The rabbit's name

is Harvey.



   

                   

Harvey lives

at our house.



   

                   

Elwood buys theater tickets and

railroad tickets for both of them.



   

                   

He's lost interest

in everything else.



   

                   

And here I am trying to get

Myrtle Mae started...



   

                   

with a nice group

of young people.



   

                   

That's my daughter.



   

                   

Doctor,



   

                   

I'm going to tell you something

I've never told anyone in this world.



   

                   

Not even Myrtle Mae.



   

                   

Every once in a while, I see

this big white rabbit myself!



   

                   

Isn't that terrible!



   

                   

And what's more, he's every

bit as big as Elwood says he is!



   

                   

Don't ever tell that to anybody,

Doctor. I'm ashamed of it.



   

                   

I can see that you've been under

a great nervous strain lately.



   

                   

You just try living with those two

and see how much of a strain it is.



   

                   

Your mother's death, it

depressed you considerably.



   

                   

Nobody knows how much.



   

                   

Don't you worry. I'm going

to help you. Oh, Doctor!



   

                   

Miss Kelly. Miss Kelly!



   

                   

Wilson? Wilson!



   

                   

Don't you move. You just sit there

and make yourself comfortable.



   

                   

I'll only be a minute. Yes.



   

                   

Wilson? Wilson!



   

                   

Hello?



   

                   

Lady, you told me to keep an eye on that

fella, but a big guy in a white coat came...



   

                   

That's quite all right.

You just wait.



   

                   

Do you want I should do

something about his suitcase?



   

                   

Oh, Elwood's things. Yes, I

better come get them, I guess.



   

                   

He might need them. Oh dear, it would

be awful if he should get hurt and...



   

                   

She picked a fine time to leave her desk

just when I've got a new patient in my office.



   

                   

Mrs. Simmons?

Mrs. Simmons!



   

                   

Sound the gong. That poor woman mustn't

leave the grounds. Made a getaway, huh, Doc?



   

                   

Her condition is serious. Go after her

and take her to    Upper West "R." Right.



   

                   

Where is she? That little dame

that just came out, where'd she go?



   

                   

She's picking some posies. She wants

to bring 'em to somebody inside.



   

                   

Mac, is it safe for me

to wait around?



   

                   

I don't see no bars on these

windows. Don't need 'em.



   

                   

Anybody tries to climb through those

windows will sound like a three-alarm fire.



   

                   

Hello, sweetheart.

Well, well. Those for me?



   

                   

For you? I should say not.

They're for my brother Elwood.



   

                   

He's devoted to ranunculus. Sure.



   

                   

Wouldn't you like to come inside

and pick some off the wallpaper?



   

                   

No, thank you. These

will do nicely. Good day.



   

                   

Lady. Come, lady. Now, really, l...



   

                   

There's a man inside wants to

talk to you. No, I don't... No!



   

                   

No! You let me go! Help. Help! Police!



   

                   

What do we want with the police,

love boat? They're no fun.



   

                   

You let me go! I'm a respectable

woman! That's for sure.



   

                   

Come on, lady, be nice or I'll

have to pick you up and carry you.



   

                   

Help!



   

                   

Oh, Dr. Sanderson!

Judge Gaffney!



   

                   

How about giving me a hand,

beautiful?



   

                   

I'll sit on her.

You can strip her clothes off.



   

                   

You'll have to wait. I've got

to give some guy a bubble bath.



   

                   

Okay, honey,

but make it snappy.



   

                   

Somebody help me!



   

                   

Doc, that Simmons dame's all

set. Yeah, no trouble at all.



   

                   

That's fine. I'll be right up and

prescribe some preliminary treatment.



   

                   

Don't you ever stay in your office?

I needed you! I had to give a hypo.



   

                   

Telephone this Elwood P. Dowd right

away. His sister's condition is serious.



   

                   

But, Doctor, l... He'll have to

sign these commitment papers for her.



   

                   

I didn't know the woman needed the

treatment. She said it was her brother.



   

                   

Of course she did! That's

the oldest dodge in the world.



   

                   

Always used by

a cunning type of psychopath.



   

                   

She knew her brother was about to commit

her, so she came here to discredit him.



   

                   

Get him on the phone, please. I

thought the woman was all right...



   

                   

so I had Wilson take the

brother up to    South Wing "G."



   

                   

He's there now. You had

Wilson take the brother in?



   

                   

Come on, no gags, please.

You're not serious, are you?



   

                   

I did, Doctor. I did.

Doctor, I'm terribly sorry.



   

                   

Oh, you're terribly sorry! Well,

that's fine! That fixes everything!



   

                   

That's just wonderful!



   

                   

Oh, no! Kelly! Kelly, do

you realize what you've done?



   

                   

This man Dowd can sue us for false

commitment! He can own the sanitarium!



   

                   

And I'll be kicked outta here faster than you

can say "stupid, incompetent and inefficient."



   

                   

I'll tell Dr. Chumley you had nothing

to do with it. It was all my fault.



   

                   

You're the last person I'd ever

want anything like this to happen to.



   

                   

You know that,

don't you?



   

                   

This is hardly the time or place to go into

the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet.



   

                   

Lately, Doctor, there's

never any time or place!



   

                   

Jeepers! They may be putting him in

the hydro room right now. Get him down!



   

                   

I'll break the news to Dr.

Chumley. He may want to handle this.



   

                   

What shall I say to Mr. Dowd?

What'll I do?



   

                   

He'll probably be so furious

he'll refuse to come down.



   

                   

He's probably fit to be tied,

but he's a man, isn't he?



   

                   

I guess so.

His name is "Mister."



   

                   

Then go into your routine. You

know, the eyes, the swish, the works!



   

                   

I'm immune to it, but I've seen it work

on some people. Some of the patients!



   

                   

You get him down here

if you have to do a striptease.



   

                   

Dr. Chumley, I'm afraid

there's been a serious error.



   

                   

Dr. Sanderson, we don't permit

errors in this institution.



   

                   

Mr. Dowd?



   

                   

Elwood P. Here, let me

give you one of my cards.



   

                   

Mr. Dowd, I'm Miss Kelly. I'm

at the reception desk downstairs.



   

                   

I'm happy to know you, Miss

Kelly. Thank you, Mr. Dowd.



   

                   

I was wondering if you would come

downstairs with me to Dr. Sanderson's office.



   

                   

There's something he'd like to

explain to you. Uh-huh. I'd be glad to.



   

                   

But there was another very charming

girl in here. And she asked me to wait.



   

                   

She said something

about a bath.



   

                   

I don't like to disappoint her. She

seemed to have her heart set on it.



   

                   

That was Miss Dunphy.

It's quite all right, Mr. Dowd.



   

                   

Dr. Sanderson will explain everything

in his office. Well, here we are.



   

                   

Tsk-tsk. Mr. Dowd,

you haven't peeled yet.



   

                   

And I regret this, but Miss Kelly

seems to want me to go with her.



   

                   

Miss Kelly, you've met

Miss Dunphy? Yes, of course.



   

                   

I want you to meet a very dear... There's

been a mistake. Just forget everything.



   

                   

I have a suggestion. Why don't I do

what she wants, and then go with you?



   

                   

That won't be necessary, Mr.

Dowd. All right. Good-bye, my dear.



   

                   

You could've had

a bath too.



   

                   

I've already had a bath. Oh, I wasn't

speaking to you. I was speaking to my fr...



   

                   

Mr. Dowd, I take a bath every

morning just before I go on duty.



   

                   

It's always such a pleasant way

to start the day.



   

                   

Oh, after you.



   

                   

Mr. Dowd?

Elwood P.



   

                   

Let me give you one

of my cards.



   

                   

I am Dr. Lyman Sanderson, Dr.

Chumley's assistant. And l...



   

                   

Good for you! Happy to know you. Yes.



   

                   

I asked Miss Kelly to bring you

down here... Isn't she lovely?



   

                   

You're very lovely,

my dear.



   

                   

Why thank you! Some people

don't seem to think so.



   

                   

Well, some people are blind. That's

very often brought to my attention.



   

                   

I'd like both of you to meet a very dear

friend of mine... Why can't we sit down?



   

                   

Won't you have a chair?

Well, thank you very much.



   

                   

There we are.



   

                   

Please, sit down.

After Miss Kelly.



   

                   

No, really, Mr. Dowd. I couldn't. I'm

in and out. But you sit down, please.



   

                   

After you.

Sit down, Kelly!



   

                   

Anything we can do for you, Mr.

Dowd? What did you have in mind?



   

                   

Is your chair comfortable? Is the

chair quite comfortable, Mr. Dowd?



   

                   

Yes. Care to try it? No, no, no,

thank you. How 'bout a cigarette?



   

                   

No, thank you.

Yes, a cigarette...



   

                   

Mr. Dowd, you have us

at a disadvantage here.



   

                   

You know it and we know it, so

let's lay our cards on the table.



   

                   

That appeals

to me, Doctor.



   

                   

Best thing in the long run. People

are people no matter where you go.



   

                   

That is very often

the case.



   

                   

And being human,

are liable to make mistakes.



   

                   

Miss Kelly and I, we've made a mistake

this afternoon and we'd like to explain it.



   

                   

The truth is... You and Miss Kelly here?



   

                   

Yes.



   

                   

Out here this afternoon? Yes, Mr. Dowd.



   

                   

We hope you'll understand. Oh, yes, yes.



   

                   

These things are often the basis

of a very long, warm friendship.



   

                   

It wasn't Dr. Sanderson's

fault. It was mine.



   

                   

No, the responsibility

is all mine!



   

                   

Your attitude may be old-fashioned,

but I like it very much.



   

                   

Of course, If I had seen

your sister first,



   

                   

this would've been

an entirely different story.



   

                   

There you surprise me.



   

                   

I think the world and all of Veta,

but I had supposed she'd seen her day.



   

                   

You mustn't attach too much blame

to her. She's a very sick woman.



   

                   

She came in here insisting that you needed

treatment. That's perfectly ridiculous.



   

                   

Veta shouldn't be upset

about me. I get along fine.



   

                   

She was extremely upset and plunged right

away into a heated tirade about your drinking.



   

                   

Ahh!

That was Veta.



   

                   

I tell Veta not to worry about

that. I'll take care of that.



   

                   

Exactly! Oh, I suppose that you take a

drink now and then like the rest of us.



   

                   

M-M-M-M...



   

                   

Yes, yes I do, Doctor.



   

                   

As a matter of fact,

I'd like one right now.



   

                   

As a matter of fact,

so would I.



   

                   

But her reaction to the whole

matter was entirely too intense.



   

                   

Does she drink, Mr. Dowd?



   

                   

Oh, no, oh, no. I don't think

Veta's ever taken a drink.



   

                   

I am going to surprise you. I

think she has and does constantly.



   

                   

She... Is that...



   

                   

Well, I certainly

am surprised at that.



   

                   

Her alcoholism isn't

the basis for my diagnosis.



   

                   

It was when she became so emotional

about this big white rabbit Harvey.



   

                   

Yes, I believe she called

him Harvey. Harvey's his name!



   

                   

Doctor, before we go any

further, I must insist...



   

                   

that you and Miss Kelly allow me

to introduce you to a friend...



   

                   

Let me make my point.



   

                   

I think your sister's condition

stems from trauma.



   

                   

From what? Trauma.

Spelled T-R-A-U-M-A.



   

                   

It means shock. There's

nothing unusual about it.



   

                   

There's the birth trauma,

or the shock of being born.



   

                   

That's the one

we never get over.



   

                   

You have a very nice sense of humor.

Hasn't he, Miss Kelly? Oh, he certainly has!



   

                   

May I say the same

for both of you?



   

                   

Your sister's condition is

serious, but I can help her.



   

                   

She must, however, remain

out here temporarily.



   

                   

Uh-huh. Well, I've always wanted Veta

to have everything she needs. Exactly!



   

                   

But I wouldn't want her to stay here

unless she likes it and wants to stay here.



   

                   

If this were an ordinary delusion on the

memory picture, that would be one thing.



   

                   

But this is

much more serious.



   

                   

It stands to reason no one has ever

seen a white rabbit six feet high.



   

                   

Not very often,

Doctor.



   

                   

So she must be committed

here temporarily.



   

                   

Under the circumstances, I'd

commit my own grandmother.



   

                   

Does your grandmother

drink too?



   

                   

That's just an expression.



   

                   

Here are the commitment papers for you

to sign, and here's a visitor's pass.



   

                   

You can come and see her

whenever you like.



   

                   

I think you better

have Veta do this.



   

                   

She always does all the signing and

managing for our family. She's good at it.



   

                   

I'll have your family lawyer

take care of it. Judge Gaffney.



   

                   

He's already telephoned us in

connection with this matter.



   

                   

Is that so?

Yes.



   

                   

I like you, Dowd. Well,

I like you too, Doctor.



   

                   

And Miss Kelly here.

I certainly do like you.



   

                   

Why, thank you,

Mr. Dowd.



   

                   

You two have been so pleasant,

why don't we keep on going?



   

                   

I'd like to invite you

to come downtown with me...



   

                   

and we'll go to this charming little place

called Charlie's and we'll have a drink.



   

                   

Oh, I'm sorry,

but we're on duty now.



   

                   

Give us a rain check. Some

other time, we'd be glad to.



   

                   

When? Well, I can't say offhand.



   

                   

Miss Kelly and I are

on duty until   :   tonight.



   

                   

  :   will be fine. I'll be waiting

for you. It's at Twelfth and Main.



   

                   

If we can make it.

I'll be waiting.



   

                   

The four of us will spend a

very pleasant evening together.



   

                   

I want both of you to become friends

with a very dear friend of mine.



   

                   

But you said later on,

didn't you? Yes, yes.



   

                   

Later on it'll be.

Good-bye. Good-bye, Mr. Dowd.



   

                   

Boy, that was

a close shave!



   

                   

But he seemed like a

reasonable sort of a fellow.



   

                   

You handled him beautifully,

Doctor. You were wonderful.



   

                   

Psychology. Specialized

training. Takes years of it.



   

                   

Good afternoon, Mrs. Chumley.

Good afternoon, Herman.



   

                   

Oh, stop the car

a moment, Wesley.



   

                   

Yoo-hoo!



   

                   

Yoo-hoo!



   

                   

Is there something I can do for

you? What did you have in mind?



   

                   

You were walking on my husband's

prized dahlias. I'm Dr. Chumley's wife.



   

                   

Oh, Dowd's my name. Elwood

P. Let me give you...



   

                   

Looking for someone over

there? Yes. My friend Harvey.



   

                   

I turned my back for an instant

and he seems to have wandered off.



   

                   

I wish you could meet him,

Mrs. Chumley.



   

                   

I'm sure he'd be quite taken

with you. Oh, thank you!



   

                   

You're very nice to say so. Oh, not at all.



   

                   

Mrs. Chumley, would you care to come downtown

with me? I'd be happy to buy you a drink.



   

                   

Oh, I can't. My husband and I

are going to a cocktail party.



   

                   

Dr. McClure is giving a party

for his sister from Wichita.



   

                   

Oh! I didn't know Dr. McClure

had a sister in Wichita.



   

                   

You know Dr. McClure?

No.



   

                   

But you... But are you sure you wouldn't

have time to come with me and have a drink?



   

                   

No, I can't. I'll tell

you what I'll do, however.



   

                   

What will you do, however?

I'm interested.



   

                   

If I meet your friend inside, I'll

be glad to give him a message for you.



   

                   

Would you do that for me? I

certainly would appreciate that.



   

                   

Just tell him to meet me

downtown if he has no other plans.



   

                   

Any particular place

downtown? No, he knows where.



   

                   

Harvey knows this town like a book.

How will I recognize your friend?



   

                   

Oh, you can't miss him,

Mrs. Chumley. He's a "pooka."



   

                   

A pooka?

Is that something new?



   

                   

No, no. As I understand it,

that's something very old.



   

                   

But Harvey's not only a pooka,

he's also my best friend.



   

                   

Oh, if Harvey's said to me once, I'll

bet he's said probably a million times.



   

                   

He said, "Mr. Dowd,

I would do anything for you."



   

                   

How sweet.



   

                   

Yeah. He's also very fond

of my sister Veta.



   

                   

But Veta doesn't seem

to care for Harvey.



   

                   

Don't you think that's rather

too bad, Mrs. Chumley?



   

                   

I don't know. I gave up long ago

expecting my family to like my friends.



   

                   

It's useless! We must

keep on trying, mustn't we?



   

                   

Oh, yes.

Well, good-bye.



   

                   

Good-bye.



   

                   

Leslie, did he say

"pooka"?



   

                   

Yes, ma'am.

That's what the man said.



   

                   

Your pass? Oh! Yes, sir.



   

                   

There you are.



   

                   

Dowd.

Elwood P.



   

                   

Isn't that interesting! Yes,

I constructed this myself.



   

                   

Is that so? Well, I'll

declare! It's very simple. See?



   

                   

Closed.



   

                   

Opened.



   

                   

You're a very brilliant man. Thank you.



   

                   

My name is Herman Shimelplatzer,

but everybody calls me Herman.



   

                   

You're to be congratulated,

Mr. Shimelplatzer. Thank you.



   

                   

Would you care to come over to my

house for dinner tomorrow night?



   

                   

I'm having a few friends in,

just informally.



   

                   

I certainly would. That's

very nice of you, Mr. Dowd.



   

                   

Let me give you one

of my cards.



   

                   

If you should want to call me,

call me at this number.



   

                   

Don't call me at that one.

That's the old one. Good-bye.



   

                   

That's remarkable.



   

                   

I hate to take you away, Willie, but we

did promise Dr. McClure we'd be there early.



   

                   

One moment, angel. My hat and

coat, Miss Kelly. Yes, Dr. Chumley.



   

                   

Dr. Sanderson. I'm leaving

for the day. Yes, Doctor?



   

                   

About the difficulty of this woman with the

big white rabbit. Has it been smoothed over?



   

                   

Yes, Doctor.

Good.



   

                   

I've had many patients out here with

animals, but never an animal that large.



   

                   

Yes, Doctor. She called him

Harvey. Unusual name for an animal.



   

                   

I want her to have a hypo at

 :   with another one at  :  .



   

                   

Willie... Yes, I'm

coming. My formula  - - .



   

                   

Listen, Willie...



   

                   

Somebody's gonna have to give me a hand

with that Simmons dame. She's terrible!



   

                   

I had to take her corset off

all by myself!



   

                   

Hiya, Dr. Chumley.

How's every little...



   

                   

Hey, what's with you and that hat? Hat?



   

                   

Here's your hat.

I'm wearing my hat.



   

                   

There was something... This

isn't my hat. Must be yours.



   

                   

No, mine is... Of course it's not yours.



   

                   

I'd like to say... No, dear,

of course it's not yours.



   

                   

But whose hat is it?

He won't let me talk.



   

                   

Look at this!



   

                   

Two holes cut in the crown.

It's probably some new fad.



   

                   

Perhaps Mr. Dowd left it here, sir. Dowd?



   

                   

Yes, that's what I was... That's Mrs.

Simmons' brother. I gave him a pass.



   

                   

I've been trying to tell you. I met a

gentleman at the gate. His name was Dowd.



   

                   

He said he was looking for

a friend of his named Harvey.



   

                   

Harvey?

Yes! Yes, Harvey.



   

                   

Holy smoke! I left the water running

on that Simmons dame in a hydro tub!



   

                   

Why are you looking at me like that,

Willie? He was a nice, polite man.



   

                   

He said his friend was a

pooka. Whatever that is.



   

                   

Gimme Upper West "R."



   

                   

Where did he go, Mrs.

Chumley? He went downtown.



   

                   

Dunphy, I left that

Simmons dame soakin' in   .



   

                   

Do me a favor.

Turn off thejuice.



   

                   

So you gave him a pass!



   

                   

Perhaps they neglected to tell you at

medical school that a rabbit has pointed ears!



   

                   

Do you know what

you've done?



   

                   

You've allowed a psychopathic case to

roam around with an overgrown white rabbit!



   

                   

You've laid me open

to a lawsuit!



   

                   

I shall have to do something

I haven't done for    years.



   

                   

I'll have to go after this

man, Dowd, and bring him back!



   

                   

But when I do, Dr. Sanderson, your connection

with this institution will have ended.



   

                   

Wilson, get the car. You'll have

to go to the McClure's without me.



   

                   

Take a cab. You two, get

that woman out of the tub!



   

                   

Willie? I'm going to call my attorney.



   

                   

Willie? I'm going to call my attorney.



   

                   

Wilson, what's a pooka? What's a what?



   

                   

A pooka.

A pooka?



   

                   

You could search me,

Mrs. Chumley!



   

                   

"P." "O."



   

                   

Poo... Pooka!



   

                   

Oh dear, I'm already late

for the McClure's.



   

                   

I did promise them

I'd be on time.



   

                   

P-O-O-K-A.



   

                   

"Pooka.

From old Celtic mythology.



   

                   

"A fairy spirit

in animal form.



   

                   

"Always very large.



   

                   

"The pooka appears

here and there,



   

                   

"now and then,



   

                   

"to this one and that one.



   

                   

"A benign but

mischievous creature.



   

                   

"Very fond of rumpots,

crackpots...



   

                   

and 'How are you,

Mr. Wilson?"'



   

                   

"How are you,

Mr. Wilson?"



   

                   

Who in the encyclopedia

wants to know?



   

                   

Wilson, let's go. Dr. Chumley,

the screwiest thing just hap...



   

                   

I know, and believe me, heads

will roll. But I was looking...



   

                   

Quick, downtown.

Step on it.



   

                   

Oh. Where's your mother? Where is she?



   

                   

She took Uncle Elwood out to the

sanitarium. I thought you knew.



   

                   

She just called me on the phone

at the club. She's hysterical.



   

                   

Where's your phone? In the library.

What was Mother hysterical about?



   

                   

I don't know. I couldn't make

out what she was talking about.



   

                   

She was carrying on something fierce.

Where's the number of that sanitarium?



   

                   

I'll look it up. I don't know

what Mother had to carry on about.



   

                   

All she had to do was have Uncle

Elwood locked up. Maybe that's it.



   

                   

I feel bad about havin' Elwood

locked up. I always liked that boy.



   

                   

He could've done anything, been anything,

made a place for himself in the community.



   

                   

And all he did was get a

big rabbit. Yeah, I know.



   

                   

He's had that rabbit in my office many

a time. I'm old, but I don't miss much.



   

                   

What's the name of this place?

Chumley's what? Chumley's Rest.



   

                   

Yeah, Elwood had everything.

Brains, personality and friends.



   

                   

Men liked him. Women

liked him. I liked him!



   

                   

Women liked him?

Uncle Elwood? Mother!



   

                   

Myrtle!

Veta Louise!



   

                   

What's wrong, girl? I thought

I'd never see either of you again.



   

                   

Take hold of her. She looks like

she's going to faint. Not so fast.



   

                   

Don't rush her. Ease her in.

Get me where I can sit down.



   

                   

There you are. Get her some

tea. Let me sit down somewhere.



   

                   

You want some tea? Oh,

no. I don't want any tea.



   

                   

The minute their backs were turned,

I ran like a frightened rabbit.



   

                   

Oh, I didn't mean to say that!

I don't know what I'm saying.



   

                   

Just let me sit here. Let me get

my breath. Let her get her breath.



   

                   

Let me get my breath and then let me get

upstairs to my own bed where I can let go.



   

                   

Mother,

what happened?



   

                   

I want you to sue them. They

put me in and let Elwood out.



   

                   

What's this? As I was going to the

taxi cab to get Elwood's things,



   

                   

this awful man stepped out, he

was a white slaver, I know he was.



   

                   

He was wearing one of those white

suits. That's how they advertise.



   

                   

What did he do? He grabbed hold of

me and took me in there, and he...



   

                   

Oh!



   

                   

Go on, Veta. Go on,

Mother. Was he a young man?



   

                   

Myrtle Mae, perhaps you'd better

leave the room. Now? I should say not.



   

                   

Go on, Mother.

What'd he do, Veta?



   

                   

He took me upstairs

and tore my clothes off.



   

                   

Did you hear that?

Go on, Mother.



   

                   

And then he dumped me

down in a tub of water.



   

                   

Oh, for heaven's sake! By

Godfrey, I'll sue them for this!



   

                   

I always thought that what

you were showed in your face.



   

                   

Don't you believe it, Judge,

Myrtle Mae.



   

                   

That man grabbed hold of me as

though I was a woman of the streets.



   

                   

But I fought. I always said that

if a man jumped at me, I'd fight.



   

                   

Haven't I always said that,

Myrtle Mae?



   

                   

She's always said that. That's

what Mother's always told me to do.



   

                   

He hustled me into the sanitarium

and dumped me in that tub of water...



   

                   

and treated me as though I was a... A what?



   

                   

A crazy woman. But he

did that just for spite.



   

                   

Well, I'll be swizzled!

Then one of those doctors...



   

                   

came upstairs and asked me

a lot of questions.



   

                   

All about sex urges

and all that filthy stuff.



   

                   

That place ought to be

cleaned up, Judge.



   

                   

You ought to get the authorities

to clean it up.



   

                   

Don't you ever go out there.

You hear me, Myrtle Mae?



   

                   

This stinks to high heaven.

By Godfrey, it stinks!



   

                   

Is that all those doctors do in

places like that, think about sex?



   

                   

I don't know. Because if it is, they

ought to be ashamed of themselves.



   

                   

It's all

in their heads anyway.



   

                   

Why don't they take long

walks in the fresh air?



   

                   

Judge Gaffney walked everywhere

for years, didn't you, Judge?



   

                   

Did you? I better take some notes on this.



   

                   

You said one of the doctors

came up to talk to you?



   

                   

Yes. Dr. Sanderson. But don't pay

any attention to anything he says.



   

                   

He's a liar. Close-set

eyes. They're always liars.



   

                   

Besides, I told him something in

strictest confidence and he blabbed it.



   

                   

You can't trust anyone!



   

                   

What did you tell him? What

difference does it make?



   

                   

I don't want to think about it.

I don't want to talk about it.



   

                   

Anything you told Dr. Sanderson,

you can tell us.



   

                   

This is your daughter, and I'm

your lawyer. I know which is which.



   

                   

I don't want to talk about

it. I want to sue them.



   

                   

And I want to get upstairs

to my own bed.



   

                   

I should never have tried

to do anything about Elwood.



   

                   

Something protects him.

That awful pooka.



   

                   

Where is Uncle Elwood? How

should I know? They let him go!



   

                   

They're not interested

in men at places like that.



   

                   

You ought to know that,

Myrtle Mae. Don't be so naive.



   

                   

Mother, no matter who jumped at you, we still

have to find Uncle Elwood and lock him up.



   

                   

The next time,

you take him, Judge.



   

                   

Oh, wait 'til Elwood hears what they

did to me. He won't stand for it.



   

                   

You've got to sue them.



   

                   

Myrtle Mae, I hope that

never, as long as you live,



   

                   

a man tears the clothes off you

and sets you down in a tub of water.



   

                   

Oh, there he is now! He's

after me! Stay where you are!



   

                   

Knock him down, Judge. Kick

him! Don't let him get me!



   

                   

Veta, please. I want you to

confront this man with your charges.



   

                   

I don't want no part of that wacky dame.

I'm looking for that other screwball.



   

                   

He's gotta go back to

Chumley's Rest. Kick him, Judge!



   

                   

Veta, did you hear that?



   

                   

Where is he? Where is

this guy, Elwood P. Dowd?



   

                   

That screwball

with a rabbit.



   

                   

What's the matter, you goofy too?

You a member of this cockeyed family?



   

                   

I'm Mrs. Simmons' daughter.

Uncle Elwood is my uncle.



   

                   

Look, kid, I've been to four fires and

   gin mills lookin' for that crackpot.



   

                   

A bartender give me a tip he

was here. Came with a bundle.



   

                   

Now, where is he? What'd you

do with him? You hidin' him?



   

                   

No...

I'm not hiding him.



   

                   

Hey, my name's Marvin

Wilson, honey. What's yours?



   

                   

Myrtle Mae. And I'm not

afraid of you. Myrtle Mae, huh?



   

                   

If we grab your uncle, you'll be comin'

to the sanitarium on visitin' days.



   

                   

Really, I don't know.

If you do, I'll be there.



   

                   

You will? If you don't see me right

away, stick around. I'll show up.



   

                   

Won't you sit down?

I got no time, kid.



   

                   

I gotta find that uncle of yours

and be on my way. Now, where is he?



   

                   

Where'd you put him? I

didn't put him anywhere.



   

                   

I want you to catch him just as

much as you want to catch him.



   

                   

I can't even have any callers

when he's around.



   

                   

You shouldn't have any trouble about

callers, honey. Thank you very much.



   

                   

I'll tell you something, Myrt. Yeah?



   

                   

You not only got a nice build,

but you got something else too.



   

                   

Really? What?



   

                   

You got the screwiest uncle that ever

stuck his puss inside our nuthouse.



   

                   

Would you like

a cup of coffee?



   

                   

I can't, kid. Dr. Chumley's

checking all the police stations.



   

                   

I better catch up with him. You look

awfully hungry. How about a sandwich?



   

                   

Yeah, but I don't want that crazy dame

on my neck. Don't worry about Mother.



   

                   

She won't come down.

She's too frightened.



   

                   

Would you like a ham and rye?

How about an egg and onion?



   

                   

I'd love to make you one. The eggs

and onions are waiting in the kitchen.



   

                   

Suppose we go in the kitchen.

You can relax and be yourself.



   

                   

Do you like your work?

Oh, I do now, Myrtle!



   

                   

Charlie's Place?

Oh, Mr. Cracker.



   

                   

Mr. Cracker, this is

Elwood P. Dowd speaking.



   

                   

Tell me,

have you seen Harvey?



   

                   

Uh-huh. Well, don't worry. I'll find him.



   

                   

Mr. Cracker, I'm entertaining some

friends there tonight at   :  .



   

                   

May I have

my regular booth?



   

                   

Oh, fine. Thank you.

Good-bye.



   

                   

Harvey!



   

                   

Harvey?



   

                   

Hello?



   

                   

Come on. Don't you wanna come back

in the kitchen and get acquainted?



   

                   

I thought I heard voices.

What kind of voices?



   

                   

Come on, I wanna talk to you. It

sounded something like "Harvey."



   

                   

Harvey? I'd better get goin'. You

haven't finished your egg and onion.



   

                   

Business before pleasure, even

if it's a pleasure bein' with you.



   

                   

You make a great egg and

onion. Don't you want more?



   

                   

I'll see you tomorrow out at the

nuthouse. You didn't finish your sandwich.



   

                   

Wilson! What happened to

you? He's not here, Doctor.



   

                   

Then what are you doing

here? I was just having...



   

                   

What are you eating? An

egg and onion sandwich.



   

                   

How can you think of food at a time

like this? Get over to Union Station.



   

                   

I'm told Dowd goes down there to

watch trains. All right, Doctor.



   

                   

Why did you send him away? Some

people pick the best times...



   

                   

to keep other people from becoming

acquainted. My, dear... Judge Gaffney!



   

                   

Chumley, just the man

I want to see.



   

                   

Mrs. Simmons has retained me to file

suit against you. I've been searching...



   

                   

File suit? I'm on my way to the

office to draw up the necessary papers.



   

                   

What happened this afternoon was an unfortunate

mistake, but I've dismissed my assistant...



   

                   

We shall see what we shall

see. There must be some way...



   

                   

You'll hear from me in the morning.

Good-bye. But surely, Judge...



   

                   

This is

most unfortunate.



   

                   

Most unfortunate.

Judge Gaffney?



   

                   

Judge Gaffney, I want...

You're not Judge Gaffney.



   

                   

You have much more hair

than he has.



   

                   

Besides, I never forget

a face. I'm Dr. Chumley.



   

                   

You're Mrs. Simmons. Yes, of course.

I'm glad to know you, Dr. Chumley.



   

                   

Would you mind asking Judge

Gaffney to come back? Certainly.



   

                   

I want to tell him to sue you for $

      . I don't think $      is enough.



   

                   

Mrs. Simmons,

can't we talk this matter over?



   

                   

After what happened to me today in the

bathtub? I don't want to talk it over!



   

                   

Then will you please

just listen?



   

                   

I don't want to listen to you.

I'm suing you.



   

                   

Please listen to me, I beg of

you. I'll listen, all right.



   

                   

But I'm warning you, it

won't do you any good. Hello.



   

                   

No, I am not listening to my radio.

I am listening to Dr. Chumley.



   

                   

Mrs. Simmons, that picture

over the mantle?



   

                   

That portrait of my mother happens

to be the pride of this house.



   

                   

Who painted it? Some

man. I forget his name.



   

                   

He was around for the sittings.

Then we paid him and he went away.



   

                   

I suppose if you have the money, you

can persuade people to do anything.



   

                   

You brought this up. You might

as well learn something quickly.



   

                   

I took a course in art last winter.

I learned the difference between...



   

                   

a fine oil painting and a

mechanical thing, like a photograph.



   

                   

The photograph shows

only the reality.



   

                   

The painting shows not only the

reality, but the dream behind it.



   

                   

It's our dreams

that carry us on.



   

                   

They separate us

from the beasts.



   

                   

I wouldn't want to go on living if I

thought it was all just eating and sleeping.



   

                   

And taking my clothes off.

I mean, putting them on.



   

                   

Ooh, ooh!

Oh, Doctor!



   

                   

Mrs. Simmons, steady now,

steady. Don't upset yourself.



   

                   

Everything's going to be

all right. What's the matter?



   

                   

Doctor, that is not

my mother!



   

                   

I'm very glad

to hear that.



   

                   

Elwood's been here. He's been here,

Doctor! Now, now, better be quiet.



   

                   

I'll take it.



   

                   

Hello? Yes?

Who's calling?



   

                   

He's here! It's your

brother! Let me talk to him.



   

                   

Be careful. Don't let him

know that I'm here. Be casual.



   

                   

Yes, I'll be casual.

Yes.



   

                   

Hello, Elwood.

Where are you, dear?



   

                   

I'm here, Veta.

l-ls Harvey there?



   

                   

He won't say where he is. He

wants to know if Harvey's here.



   

                   

Tell him Harvey is here. But he isn't!



   

                   

I know that, but pretend he

is. We've got to humor him.



   

                   

Hello, Elwood.

Yes, dear, Harvey's here.



   

                   

Why don't you come home?



   

                   

It won't work. He wants us

to call Harvey to the telephone.



   

                   

Well, say Harvey's here but he can't come

to the phone because he's in the bathtub.



   

                   

Oh, Doctor! You've got

to do it, Mrs. Simmons.



   

                   

Yes, dear, Harvey is here, but he can't

come to the telephone. He's in the bathtub.



   

                   

I'll send him over as soon as

he's dry. Where are you, dear?



   

                   

I-I-I'm...



   

                   

Never mind. Harvey just

walked in the door down here.



   

                   

Oh... Mr. Cracker,

two martinis.



   

                   

Good-bye, Veta.



   

                   

You'd better look in the

bathtub. It must be a stranger.



   

                   

He says Harvey just walked through the

door. It must be a stranger in the bathtub.



   

                   

But I know where he is.

He's at Charlie's Place.



   

                   

That's a bar at   th and Main.

That's two over and one down.



   

                   

Where are you going? I'm going to

get your brother and bring him back,



   

                   

take him to the sanitarium

where he belongs.



   

                   

I want to observe the expression on

his face when he talks to this rabbit.



   

                   

He does talk to the rabbit?

They tell each other everything.



   

                   

What? Yes, he talks to

him, but don't go out there.



   

                   

You'll regret it if you do.

Nonsense. You underestimate me



   

                   

No, you underestimate my brother.

Don't worry. I can handle him.



   

                   

You can handle him?

That's what you think.



   

                   

Myrtle Mae, see who the

stranger is in the bathtub.



   

                   

Sounds funny,

but I'll miss this place.



   

                   

I guess I'll miss

a lot of things around here.



   

                   

You will?



   

                   

You won't laugh?

Of course not.



   

                   

You know how it is working around people

day after day. You get attached to them.



   

                   

I know, Lyman. It may be

ridiculous, but I'm gonna miss...



   

                   

every one of the psychos and

neuros and schizos in the place.



   

                   

I guess I'll even miss

Dr. Chumley.



   

                   

In spite of the fact that he fired me,

I have a genuine admiration for him.



   

                   

You can miss your psychos

and schizos, Dr. Sanderson!



   

                   

You can miss whomever you

please. But after you leave here,



   

                   

I won't miss a thing,

not a single, solitary thing!



   

                   

Now what's wrong? Nothing. I

came down to say good-bye to you.



   

                   

So good-bye, good luck

and good riddance!



   

                   

You can't even say good-bye without

putting it on a personal basis.



   

                   

Don't flatter yourself. There's

nothing personal about this.



   

                   

I think you've been working too

hard. You're getting neurotic.



   

                   

Don't start analyzing me. Save

your psychiatry for your next job!



   

                   

I'm not using psychiatry. And let

me give you a little friendly advice.



   

                   

That chip on your shoulder stems from a

persecution complex that goes back to childhood.



   

                   

Thanks so much for

the case history, Doctor.



   

                   

Could you tell me what an overinflated

ego stems from? Now, listen here!



   

                   

Hiya, Kelly.

Hiya, Doc.



   

                   

I'm glad I caught you

before you left.



   

                   

I'm sorry you got bounced. We're

all gonna miss ya. Thanks, Wilson.



   

                   

Any of the patients been acting

up? Everything's just peachy!



   

                   

That's good. When are

you takin' off? Right now.



   

                   

I was waiting

for Dr. Chumley to get back.



   

                   

Wait a second. Didn't Dr. Chumley

come back with that pyscho?



   

                   

We thought he was with you. No.

I left him with that Simmons dame.



   

                   

When I called back later to check with him,

she told me the Doctor went to bring her bro...



   

                   

That was four hours ago! Have

you any idea where he went?



   

                   

Yeah. No!

Come on, come on.



   

                   

I don't know. I can't think. Poor Dr. Chumley

may be layin' in an alley in a pool of blood.



   

                   

Mr. Dowd seemed harmless

this afternoon.



   

                   

I've been wrestling these guys for

years, and they're pretty tricky.



   

                   

One minute they're sweet, and the

next minute... they give you the knife.



   

                   

The name of the place? It was

a barroom and a guy's name.



   

                   

Charlie! Charlie's Place.

That's a lead. We'll start there.



   

                   

Never mind. I'll go with

Wilson. You needn't bother.



   

                   

Until Dr. Chumley comes back,

I'm still in charge here!



   

                   

Let's get goin'. Let's not

stand and argue about it.



   

                   

Yeah,

this is the place.



   

                   

What'll it be, folks? We're

looking for someone, two men.



   

                   

A tall, short one and a thin, fat one. I'm

so nervous, I don't know what I'm sayin'.



   

                   

One man is short and middle-aged.

The other is much taller and younger.



   

                   

They might have been here about

four hours ago. No, can't say I have.



   

                   

We've been running

medium sizes all evenin'.



   

                   

The tall man was soft-spoken and

sort of polite. His name is Dowd.



   

                   

Dowd? Why didn't you say so?

He's here now in the back booth.



   

                   

Is he alone? Well, there's

two schools of thought, sir.



   

                   

If that crackpot did anything to

Dr. Chumley, I'll knock his teeth...



   

                   

No rough stuff. Psychology.

I'll do the talking.



   

                   

Well, I've been expecting

you. Where's the Doctor?



    

                   

Wilson! Why don't you

take a look around the place?



    

                   

Why don't you do that? Although

I don't believe it's for sale.



    

                   

Miss Kelly,

these are for you.



    

                   

Why, thank you, Mr.

Dowd! A pleasure, my dear.



    

                   

You know, after what happened this afternoon,

these flowers really should be from you.



    

                   

Now, won't you join me? Mr.

Dowd, I'm afraid we can't do that.



    

                   

The situation has changed since this

afternoon, but I urge you to have no resentment.



    

                   

Dr. Chumley is your friend and he only

wants to help you. Isn't that nice!



    

                   

I'd be glad to help him. We all must

face reality, Dowd, sooner or later.



    

                   

Uh-huh. Well, I wrestled with

reality for    years, Doctor.



    

                   

And I'm happy to state

I finally won out over it.



    

                   

Mr. Dowd,

where is Dr. Chumley?



    

                   

Not knowing, I cannot say. Wish I could.



    

                   

Miss Kelly, I don't like to see

you standing. Sit down, Kelly.



    

                   

There we are. Now, let's all have a drink.



    

                   

Dr. Chumley did come in here

to get you earlier this evening?



    

                   

Yes, he did. And I was

delighted to see him.



    

                   

What'll it be, Mr. Dowd? Martinis?



    

                   

- But that was four hours ago.

- Where has the evening gone?



    

                   

Four... Three martinis, Mr. Cracker.



    

                   

I've looked all over this joint. There's

no sign of the Doctor. What'd you do to him?



    

                   

We're trying to find out.

What happened then?



    

                   

I introduced Harvey to the

Doctor, and he sat down with us.



    

                   

Harvey was sitting here,



    

                   

and the Doctor sat opposite

Harvey so he could look at him.



    

                   

Who's Harvey? A white

rabbit, six feet tall.



    

                   

- Six feet?

- Six feet, three and a half inches. Let's stick to facts.



    

                   

What happened after you

introduced Dr. Chumley to Harvey?



    

                   

Harvey suggested that

I buy him a drink.



    

                   

Knowing that he doesn't like to drink alone,

I suggested to Dr. Chumley we join him.



    

                   

We joined him.



    

                   

Go on.

Wejoined him again.



    

                   

- Then what?

- Then the other matter came up.



    

                   

Now we're gettin' somewhere.

What other matter?



    

                   

Eh... Mr. Wilson, I don't

like to see you standing.



    

                   

Wouldn't you join us here? Who, me?



    

                   

Sit down, will you, Wilson? Sit right down.



    

                   

You say this other matter

came up, Mr. Dowd.



    

                   

Yes. There was a beautiful blonde

woman name of Mrs. Smethills...



    

                   

and her escort seated in the

booth directly across from us.



    

                   

Dr. Chumley went over to sit

next to her, explaining to her...



    

                   

that they had once met...

in Chicago.



    

                   

Then her escort

escorted Dr. Chumley...



    

                   

back here

to Harvey and me,



    

                   

and tried to point out that it

would be better for Dr. Chumley...



    

                   

to mind

his own affairs.



    

                   

Does he have any? Does he have any what?



    

                   

Any affairs? How would I know? Shut up!



    

                   

Go on, Mr. Dowd. Well...

Thank you, Mr. Cracker.



    

                   

Mrs. Smethills' escort seemed to get more

depressed as he kept looking at Dr. Chumley.



    

                   

So Harvey and I felt we should

take the Doctor somewhere else.



    

                   

Harvey suggested

Blondie's Chicken Inn,



    

                   

but the Doctor

wanted to go to Eddie's.



    

                   

And while they were arguing about it, I

went up to the bar to order another drink.



    

                   

When I came back here,

they were gone.



    

                   

You don't believe that story about the

Doctor talking to a big white rabbit, do you?



    

                   

Why not?

Harvey was here.



    

                   

At first Dr. Chumley seemed

frightened of Harvey,



    

                   

but that gave way to admiration

as the evening wore on.



    

                   

"The evening wore on."



    

                   

That's a very nice expression, isn't it?



    

                   

With your permission,

I'll say it again.



    

                   

"The evening wore on."



    

                   

And with your permission

I'm gonna knock your brains out.



    

                   

Look, you did something to Dr. Chumley,

and I'm gonna find out what it is.



    

                   

Stop! Lyman! Wilson!

For heaven's sake!



    

                   

Get outside!

Mr. Cracker?



    

                   

Sure, Mr. Dowd. Mr. Cracker,

may I intercede for my friends?



    

                   

Youth and high spirits. Time will

take care of that. Sure, Mr. Dowd.



    

                   

Okay, boys,

let 'em go.



    

                   

If Mr. Dowd vouches for you, okay. One more

peep out of you and I'll butter your necktie.



    

                   

Yeah, fine. Get back to your dancing.



    

                   

Stimulating as all this is, I

think we all should have our drinks.



    

                   

Here, Miss Kelly,

sit down.



    

                   

Here we are.

Dr. Sanderson.



    

                   

You keep your eye on him. I'm gonna

check in those other two joints.



    

                   

And Dr. Chumley better

be there, pal... or else!



    

                   

Mr. Wilson?

Yeah?



    

                   

Good-bye, Mr. Wilson. My regards to you

and anybody else you happen to run into.



    

                   

Ah, you...



    

                   

Mr. Dowd, can't you think of anything

else that might help us to find the Doctor?



    

                   

Miss Kelly, may I

take hold of your hand?



    

                   

Yes, Mr. Dowd,

if you want to.



    

                   

We're all so worried.

Please try to think. Please?



    

                   

For you I'd do anything. I'd almost

be willing to live my life over again.



    

                   

Almost.

But I've told it all.



    

                   

You're sure?

I'm quite sure.



    

                   

But ask me again anyway,

won't you?



    

                   

I liked that warm tone you

had in your voice just then.



    

                   

So did I.



    

                   

Maybe we better go someplace else.

Miss Kelly seems to be unhappy.



    

                   

No, let's stay here.

Kelly's all right.



    

                   

Perhaps you'd like

to dance, Miss Kelly.



    

                   

All right, Mr. Dowd, if

you'd like to. Oh, not I! No.



    

                   

I used to dance.

I haven't danced in years.



    

                   

I'm sure Dr. Sanderson would love to

dance with somebody as lovely as you.



    

                   

Hmm? Would you, Miss Kelly?



    

                   

All right.

There we are.



    

                   

It's been a long time

since we've danced together.



    

                   

Yes, a long time.



    

                   

I'd forgotten what

a wonderful dancer you were.



    

                   

If we didn't have to humor Mr. Dowd,

you wouldn't have remembered at all.



    

                   

I'm not dancing with you

to humor Mr. Dowd, Ruth.



    

                   

We shouldn't

have left him alone!



    

                   

Where are you goin',

Mr. Dowd?



    

                   

I was just looking

for someone.



    

                   

Why don't you come back inside?

All right, if you want me to.



    

                   

It seemed to be so pleasant

out here.



    

                   

You know, you two look

very nice dancing together.



    

                   

I used to know

a whole lot of dances.



    

                   

The Flea Hop.



    

                   

And what's the...



    

                   

The Black Bottom.

The Varsity Drag.



    

                   

I don't know. I just don't

seem to have any time anymore.



    

                   

I have so many things

to do.



    

                   

What is it you do,

Mr. Dowd?



    

                   

Harvey and I

sit in the bars...



    

                   

and have a drink or two,

play the jukebox.



    

                   

And soon the faces

of all the other people,



    

                   

they turn toward mine

and they smile.



    

                   

They're saying, "We don't know your name,

mister, but you're a very nice fellow."



    

                   

Harvey and I...



    

                   

warm ourselves

in all these golden moments.



    

                   

We've entered as strangers.

Soon we have friends.



    

                   

And they come over

and they sit with us,



    

                   

they drink with us

they talk to us.



    

                   

And they tell about the big,

terrible things they've done...



    

                   

and the big, wonderful things

they'll do.



    

                   

Their hopes

and their regrets,



    

                   

and their loves and their

hates, all very large...



    

                   

because nobody ever brings

anything small into a bar.



    

                   

And then...



    

                   

I introduce them

to Harvey.



    

                   

And he's bigger and grander

than anything they offer me.



    

                   

And...

and when they leave,



    

                   

they leave impressed.



    

                   

The same people

seldom come back,



    

                   

but that's...

that's envy, my dear.



    

                   

There's a little bit of envy

in the best of us.



    

                   

And that's too bad,

isn't it?



    

                   

How did you happen

to call him Harvey?



    

                   

Well, Harvey's

his name.



    

                   

How do you

know that?



    

                   

There was a rather interesting

coincidence on that, Doctor.



    

                   

One night several years ago I was walking

early in the evening along Fairfax Street.



    

                   

It was between   th and   th.

Do you know the block?



    

                   

Yes, yes.



    

                   

I'd just put Ed Hickey

into a taxi.



    

                   

Ed had been mixing his

rye with his gin, and he...



    

                   

I just felt that

he needed conveying.



    

                   

Anyway, I was walking along the

street and I heard this voice saying,



    

                   

"Good evening, Mr. Dowd."



    

                   

Well, I turned around...



    

                   

and here was this big six-foot

rabbit leaning up against a lamppost.



    

                   

I thought nothing of that because

when you've lived in a town...



    

                   

as long as I've lived in this one, you get

used to the fact that everybody knows your name.



    

                   

Naturally, I went over

to chat with him.



    

                   

And he said to me,

he said,



    

                   

"Ed Hickey was a little spiffed this

evening. Or could I be mistaken?"



    

                   

Of course

he was not mistaken.



    

                   

I think the world and all

of Ed, but he was spiffed.



    

                   

We talked like that for a

while and then I said to him,



    

                   

"You have the advantage

on me.



    

                   

You know my name

and I don't know yours."



    

                   

And right back at me

he said,



    

                   

"What name do you like?"



    

                   

Well, I didn't even have

to think twice about that.



    

                   

Harvey's always been

my favorite name.



    

                   

So I said to him,

I said, "Harvey."



    

                   

And, uh...



    

                   

Th-This is the interesting thing

about the whole thing.



    

                   

He said,

"What a coincidence.



    

                   

My name happens

to be Harvey."



    

                   

Dowd,



    

                   

what was

your father's name?



    

                   

John.

John Stuyvesant.



    

                   

Tell me, Dowd,



    

                   

when you were a child,

didn't you have a playmate?



    

                   

Someone with whom

you spent many happy hours?



    

                   

Yes. Yes,

I did, Doctor.



    

                   

Didn't you?

Yes.



    

                   

What was his name?



    

                   

Vern.

Vern McElhinney.



    

                   

You ever know the McElhinneys, Doctor? No.



    

                   

That's too bad. There were a

lot of them and they circulated.



    

                   

Very nice people.

Just wonderful people.



    

                   

Think carefully,

Dowd.



    

                   

Didn't you know somebody sometime,

someplace by the name of Harvey?



    

                   

Didn't you ever know anybody

by that name?



    

                   

No. No,

not one, Doctor.



    

                   

Maybe that's why I always

had such hopes for it.



    

                   

We looked in both of those joints, and

Dr. Chumley ain't in either one of'em.



    

                   

I brought help.

What're you doin' out here?



    

                   

Come on. We're going back

to the sanitarium. Wh...



    

                   

Come, Elwood. Very well, Lyman.



    

                   

I'm afraid I won't be able to

stay very long. I must find Harvey.



    

                   

Which one is Dowd? My

name's Dowd, Elwood P.



    

                   

Here, let me give you one of

my cards. Never mind the card!



    

                   

Wilson,

what did I tell you?



    

                   

Coming, coming.



    

                   

Who is it? It's me. Open the gates quickly.



    

                   

Oh, it's you, Doctor!



    

                   

I thought you'd gone for the

night. I thought you'd gone.



    

                   

Close them, Herman.

Close the gates.



    

                   

Are you all right,

Doctor? I'm being followed.



    

                   

Who's following you? None of your business.



    

                   

Ahh! Ahh!



    

                   

You called me,

Doctor?



    

                   

No. No, I didn't.

No.



    

                   

Everything's fine.



    

                   

What's wrong? What happened,

Herman? What's goin' on?



    

                   

The alarm went off. Somebody

must've come through a window.



    

                   

Yes, Doctor. Sanderson, he's after me.



    

                   

Who's after you, Doctor?

I don't see anyone.



    

                   

I saw him. He came through

the window. Who was it?



    

                   

Who came through

the window, Doctor?



    

                   

I won't tell you. What's he talkin' about?



    

                   

Forget it.



    

                   

I'm going to my office and

I don't wish to be disturbed.



    

                   

Forget it, he says.

Not me.



    

                   

I'm takin' a look around this

joint. I'm gonna see what's goin' on.



    

                   

It's locked.

Locked?



    

                   

Have you any

extra keys, Miss?



    

                   

Yes, we have.

I'll get them.



    

                   

Dr. Chumley, I went around the

house and climbed through the window.



    

                   

I didn't see anybody. Thank you,

Wilson. It's quite all right.



    

                   

Everything's in order,

thank you. I'll be all right.



    

                   

Dr. Chumley,

if you need me, I'll...



    

                   

Holy smoke! We forgot about that crackpot.

He's probably roamin' around loose.



    

                   

Excuse me.



    

                   

I got 'im, Doctor.

Let's go upstairs.



    

                   

I wanna do your fingernails for

you. That's thoughtful of you.



    

                   

Just a second. I'll take

him. Thank you, Doctor.



    

                   

Oh, Miss Kelly.



    

                   

Perhaps you'd like this flower. I

seem to have misplaced my buttonhole.



    

                   

Thank you, Mr. Dowd. Okay, let's go.



    

                   

One moment, please.



    

                   

Ah, Dr. Chumley. How nice

to run into you again.



    

                   

How are you getting along

with Harvey? Oh, well, uh...



    

                   

Mr. Dowd, I'd like to speak to

you in my office alone, please.



    

                   

I'd like that, too, but I just promised

this gentleman he could give me a manicure.



    

                   

Of course, if you wouldn't mind waiting

a few minutes. Not at all, Mr. Dowd.



    

                   

Oh, excuse me.



    

                   

You first. Go ahead. Oh...



    

                   

Mr. Dowd, won't you have a seat? Thank you.



    

                   

Will you have a cigar?

No, thank you, Doctor.



    

                   

Is there anything

I can do for you?



    

                   

What did you

have in mind?



    

                   

Mr. Dowd, what kind

of a man are you?



    

                   

Where do you

come from?



    

                   

Why, didn't l... Didn't

I give you one of my cards?



    

                   

And where on the face of this tired

old earth did you find a thing like him?



    

                   

You mean, Harvey the Pooka? Yes, it's

true, the things you told me tonight.



    

                   

I know it now.

Yes, yes.



    

                   

Yes, Harvey has several

very interesting facets.



    

                   

Did I tell you about Mrs. McElhinney? No.



    

                   

She lives right next door

to us. Wonderful woman.



    

                   

Harvey told me last night that

Mrs. McElhinney's Aunt Rose...



    

                   

was going to drop in

on her unexpectedly...



    

                   

this morning from Cleveland. And did she?



    

                   

Did she what?



    

                   

Aunt Rose. Did she come,

just as Harvey said she would?



    

                   

Oh, yes, yes.



    

                   

These things always work out just

the way Harvey says they will.



    

                   

He's very,

very versatile.



    

                   

Did I tell you

he could stop clocks?



    

                   

To what purpose?



    

                   

You've heard the expression,

"His face would stop a clock."



    

                   

Well, Harvey

can look at your clock...



    

                   

and stop it.



    

                   

And you can go anywhere you

like with anyone you like...



    

                   

and stay as long

as you like.



    

                   

And when you get back, not

one minute will have ticked by.



    

                   

You mean that he...

You see...



    

                   

He can... Science has

overcome time and space.



    

                   

Well, Harvey has overcome

not only time and space,



    

                   

but any objections.



    

                   

Flyspecks!

Flyspecks!



    

                   

I've been spending my life

among flyspects...



    

                   

while miracles have been leaning

on lampposts at   th and Fairfax.



    

                   

Tell me, Mr. Dowd,

will he do this for you?



    

                   

Oh, he'd be willing

at any time.



    

                   

But so far I haven't been able to

think of anyplace I'd rather be.



    

                   

I always have a wonderful time

wherever I am, whomever I'm with.



    

                   

I'm having a fine time

right here with you, Doctor.



    

                   

Oh.



    

                   

Oh, l...

I know where I'd go.



    

                   

Where?



    

                   

I'd go to Akron. Akron! Oh, yes.



    

                   

There's a cottage camp

just outside Akron...



    

                   

in a grove

of maple trees.



    

                   

Green, cool, beautiful.

That's my favorite tree.



    

                   

And I'd go there with a pretty woman. Oh.



    

                   

A strange woman,

a quiet woman.



    

                   

Oh, under a tree. I wouldn't

even want to know her name,



    

                   

while I would be just...

Mr. Smith.



    

                   

Then I would send out

for cold beer.



    

                   

No whiskey, huh?

No.



    

                   

Then I would

tell her things.



    

                   

Things that I've never told

to anyone.



    

                   

Things that are locked deep...

in here.



    

                   

And as I talked

to her,



    

                   

I would want her to hold out

her soft white hand and say,



    

                   

"Poor thing.

You poor, poor thing."



    

                   

How long would you want

this to go on, Doctor?



    

                   

Two weeks.

Two weeks?



    

                   

Wouldn't that get

a little monotonous,



    

                   

just Akron, cold beer and

"poor, poor thing" for two weeks?



    

                   

No!



    

                   

It would be wonderful.



    

                   

Well, I can't help feeling,

Doctor,



    

                   

that you're making a mistake

not allowing the woman to talk.



    

                   

If she'd been around at all, she might've

picked up some interesting news items.



    

                   

And I'm sure you're making a mistake

about all that beer and no whiskey,



    

                   

but it's

your two weeks.



    

                   

Mr. Dowd, could he...

Would he do this for me?



    

                   

Oh, he could

and might.



    

                   

I've never heard Harvey

say a word against Akron.



    

                   

By the way, Doctor,

where is Harvey?



    

                   

Don't you know?



    

                   

The last time I saw him

he was with you.



    

                   

He's probably waiting for me

down at Charlie's.



    

                   

Yes, that's it. He's

down at Charlie's. Uh-huh.



    

                   

In that case, I'll go down

and join him for a nightcap.



    

                   

Fortunately, Charlie's

stays open rather late.



    

                   

Excuse me, Doctor. I want to say good-bye

to some of my friends before I leave.



    

                   

Mr. Dowd, none of those people

are your friends.



    

                   

But I want you to know that I am

your friend. Thank you. And I'm yours.



    

                   

They underestimate you,

as I did.



    

                   

This sister of yours is at the

bottom of a conspiracy against you.



    

                   

She's trying to persuade me to lock you up.

Today she had commitment papers drawn up.



    

                   

She has your power of attorney

and the key to your safety box.



    

                   

And she brought

you here!



    

                   

My sister did all that in one afternoon?

That Veta certainly is a whirlwind, isn't she?



    

                   

Good heavens, man! Haven't

you any righteous indignation?



    

                   

Oh, Doctor, l...



    

                   

Years ago my mother used

to say to me, she'd say,



    

                   

"In this world, Elwood,

you must be..."



    

                   

She always

called me Elwood.



    

                   

"In this world, Elwood,

you must be oh, so smart...



    

                   

or oh, so pleasant."



    

                   

Well, for years

I was smart.



    

                   

I recommend pleasant.



    

                   

And you may quote me.



    

                   

This is it.

Here we are.



    

                   

Okay, thank you.

Come on, Myrtle.



    

                   

I'll come... You wait

right here, Veta girl.



    

                   

I will not wait here.

I'm going in with you.



    

                   

You're a very high-strung girl.

This may be an ordeal.



    

                   

Then let Myrtle Mae

stay here too.



    

                   

Mother, you know it isn't right to put Uncle

Elwood away without some blood relative present.



    

                   

Hey, you're not gonna leave

the lady here. I thought...



    

                   

See, Omar? Even strangers

think I should go in with you.



    

                   

I wish to see

Dr. Chumley.



    

                   

I'm sorry, sir. He's in

conference. You'll have to wait.



    

                   

After dragging me out of bed at this

hour? Tell him Judge Omar Gaffney's here.



    

                   

I telephoned you right after we

picked up Mr. Dowd. I'm Dr. Sanderson.



    

                   

I demand that this matter

be settled right now!



    

                   

Oh, good, nobody here

but people.



    

                   

You promised to wait in the car.

You forgot Elwood's bathrobe.



    

                   

Why are you all standing

around? I thought you'd be...



    

                   

How do you do, Doctor? Committing

Elwood. Hello, Mrs. Simmons.



    

                   

He's the one

I told you about.



    

                   

Girl. Doctor,

what's your opinion?



    

                   

How are you feeling, Mrs.

Simmons? Better, thank you.



    

                   

In my opinion, Elwood P. Dowd is suffering

from a third-degree hallucination.



    

                   

I recommend formula

number  - - .



    

                   

That's a powerful serum which

will shock him back to reality.



    

                   

Nothing will do that.

Lock him up.



    

                   

If this shock formula brings people back

to reality, that's where we want Elwood.



    

                   

Yes. If he won't see the

rabbit anymore, give it to him.



    

                   

Then when Harvey comes

to the door, I'll deal with him.



    

                   

Please stop talking about Harvey

as if there were such a thing!



    

                   

Myrtle Mae, you have a lot to

learn, and I hope you never learn it.



    

                   

Oh, Mother... Marvin! Myrtle Mae, baby!



    

                   

Myrtle Mae, come back here.

The idea of that terrible man...



    

                   

Let's get on with this, Doctor. I'm sorry, but

you'll have to take that up with Dr. Chumley.



    

                   

Then why waste my time?

Young lady,



    

                   

will you inform Dr. Chumley

of my presence or must I do it?



    

                   

I'll attend to it

immediately, sir.



    

                   

Oh.

Oh, Miss Kelly.



    

                   

Isn't Dr. Chumley there?

How nice to see you.



    

                   

Where's the Doctor?

What'd you...



    

                   

Are you all right, Doctor? Yes,

thanks. I'm quite all right.



    

                   

Well, Veta and Myrtle Mae!

What a delightful surprise.



    

                   

Good evening, Elwood. I brought

your bathrobe. Thank you, Veta.



    

                   

Well, Dr. Chumley, are we gonna

settle this matter or are we not?



    

                   

I, uh... I've turned

this case over...



    

                   

to Dr. Sanderson. Oh, no. You forget

I don't work here anymore, Dr. Chumley.



    

                   

Dr. Sanderson, please disregard

what I said this afternoon.



    

                   

I want you to head my staff. I think

you're a very capable young man.



    

                   

Oh, Lyman,

did you hear that?



    

                   

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have some work to do.



    

                   

Well, I think this calls

for a celebration.



    

                   

Why don't we all go down to

Charlie's Place and have a drink?



    

                   

You're not going anywhere,

Elwood. You're staying right there.



    

                   

Yes, Uncle Elwood.

Stay here, son.



    

                   

I plan to leave,

you want me to stay.



    

                   

An element of conflict in any

discussion is a very good thing.



    

                   

Shows everybody's taking part,

and nobody left out. I like that.



    

                   

Ah, Miss Kelly.



    

                   

Miss Kelly, you know,

when you wear my flower...



    

                   

you make it beautiful.



    

                   

"A diviner grace has never

brightened this enchanting face."



    

                   

Ovid's Fifth Elegy. Ovid's

always been my favorite poet.



    

                   

My dear,

you'll never look lovelier.



    

                   

I'll never be happier,

Mr. Dowd. I know it.



    

                   

Hey, this rabbit gag

must be a good one.



    

                   

Mr. Dowd, I have a formula,  - -  that

will be good for you. Will you take it?



    

                   

 - -  huh? Yes.

It's a serum.



    

                   

Oh. You won't see this rabbit anymore.



    

                   

But you will see your responsibilities

and your duties. Uh-huh.



    

                   

Well, Doctor,

if you thought of this,



    

                   

I'm sure it must be

a very fine thing.



    

                   

And if I happen to run into anybody who

needs it, I'd be glad to recommend it.



    

                   

But as for myself, I don't

think I'd care for it.



    

                   

You hear that, Judge?

You hear that, Doctor?



    

                   

That's what we put up with.

Veta, do you want me to take this?



    

                   

Oh, Elwood, I'm only

thinking of you.



    

                   

You're my brother and I've known you

for years. I'd do anything for you.



    

                   

Harvey wouldn't do anything for

you. He's making a fool of you.



    

                   

Elwood, don't be a fool. I won't.



    

                   

Why, you could amount

to something.



    

                   

You could be sitting on the Western

Slope Water Board right now...



    

                   

if you'd only go over

and ask them.



    

                   

If that's what you want, Harvey and

I'll go over tomorrow and ask them.



    

                   

Tomorrow! I wish there might

never be another tomorrow!



    

                   

Not if Myrtle Mae and I have to

go on living with that rabbit!



    

                   

Our friends never come to see us

anymore. We have no social life whatever!



    

                   

We've no life

at all.



    

                   

We're both

perfectly miserable.



    

                   

But perhaps you don't

care. All right, now, Veta.



    

                   

Well, l...



    

                   

I've always felt Veta should

have everything she wants, but...



    

                   

Veta,

are you sure?



    

                   

Yes.



    

                   

I-I'll take it. Where do I go,

Doctor? In my office, Mr. Dowd.



    

                   

This will only take a few

minutes. Why don't you wait?



    

                   

Veta, you tell Dr. Chumley to say good-bye

to the old fellow for me, will you?



    

                   

Dr. Sanderson,

couldn't we...



    

                   

Yes, Kelly?

Nothing.



    

                   

I'll need you

to give me a hand, Miss Kelly.



    

                   

Right in here. No, no. After you.



    

                   

No, after you.



    

                   

Miss Kelly. No, after you. Here we go.



    

                   

Dr. Sanderson said

it wouldn't take long.



    

                   

Ooh, ooh!



    

                   

Sit down, girl. Thank you, Judge.



    

                   

He said it wouldn't take...

long.



    

                   

Relax, girl.

Take it easy.



    

                   

Thank you.

I'll try to, but...



    

                   

Oh, there you are. Lady jumped out

of my cab, left without payin' me.



    

                   

She didn't say anything, and a

fellow gets nervous after a while.



    

                   

Well, there's no cause for

concern, man. How much is it?



    

                   

All the way out there

from town? $ .  .



    

                   

Why, I must've forgotten

my wallet.



    

                   

I was dragged out of bed in such a hurry,

it's a wonder I didn't forget my pants.



    

                   

Beg your pardon,

Veta.



    

                   

Uh, would you take a

check? We don't take checks.



    

                   

Yeah, I know, but...

Would you mind, Veta?



    

                   

Oh, of course.

Yes, I, uh...



    

                   

Well, I could've sworn

I brought my coin purse.



    

                   

Where is it?



    

                   

Oh, the idea!



    

                   

Well, I never!



    

                   

Oh, I know. I'll get it

for you from my brother.



    

                   

But I can't go in just now. He's

in there getting an injection.



    

                   

It won't take long.

You'll have to wait.



    

                   

You're gonna get my money from

your brother who's in there...



    

                   

getting some of that stuff

they shoot out here?



    

                   

Yes. It'll only take

a few minutes.



    

                   

Lady, I want my money now. I told

you it'll only take a few minutes.



    

                   

We want you to drive us

back to town.



    

                   

I told you I want my money now or I'm nosin'

the cab back to town and you can wait for a bus.



    

                   

Well, of all the pigheaded,

stubborn things!



    

                   

What's the matter with you?

Nothing that $ .   won't fix.



    

                   

You heard me.

Take it or leave it.



    

                   

I never heard of anything so

unreasonable in all my life.



    

                   

Would you please let my

brother step out here a moment?



    

                   

This cab driver won't wait.

Oh, Elwood.



    

                   

I'll be right back.



    

                   

Elwood, I came off

without my coin purse.



    

                   

Would you please give

this man $ .  ?



    

                   

But don't give him any more.

He's been very rude.



    

                   

Howdy do. Dowd's my name, Elwood P.



    

                   

Mine's Lofgren, E.J. Glad

to know you, Mr. Lofgren.



    

                   

This is my sister Mrs. Simmons. My

good friend Judge Gaffney, back there.



    

                   

Hi. Hi.

Hi.



    

                   

Have you lived around

here long? All my life.



    

                   

Enjoy your work?

It's okay.



    

                   

I've been driving

for Apex Cabs for    years.



    

                   

My brother Joe's been driving

for Brown Cabs for near   .



    

                   

Is that so? You drive for Apex

and your brother Joe for Brown.



    

                   

That's interesting, isn't it, Veta? Yes.



    

                   

Mr. Lofgren, let me give you

one of my cards.



    

                   

My sister and my charming niece

live at that address with me.



    

                   

Wouldn't you and your brother like to

come and have dinner with us sometime?



    

                   

Sure,

be glad to.



    

                   

When? When would you

be glad to?



    

                   

I couldn't come any night but tomorrow.

I'm on duty all the rest of the week.



    

                   

Tomorrow would be perfect. We'll be

expecting you and delighted to see you.



    

                   

Won't we, Veta? Elwood, I'm sure

this man has friends of his own.



    

                   

Can't have

too many friends.



    

                   

Don't keep the Doctor waiting.

It's rude.



    

                   

There you are. Keep the change. I'm

glad to have met you, Mr. Lofgren.



    

                   

I'll expect you and your brother tomorrow

night. Now, you'll have to excuse me. l...



    

                   

A sweet guy.

Certainly.



    

                   

You could just as well have waited. Ah, no.



    

                   

Lady, I've been drivin'

this route for    years.



    

                   

I've brought 'em out here to get that stuff,

and I've drove 'em home after they had it.



    

                   

It changes them.

I certainly hope so.



    

                   

You ain't kiddin'.

On the way out here,



    

                   

they sit back and enjoy

the ride, they talk to me.



    

                   

Sometimes we stop and watch the

sunsets and look at the birds.



    

                   

Sometimes we stop and watch the

birds when there ain't no birds,



    

                   

and look at the sunsets

when it's rainin'.



    

                   

We have a swell time.

And I always get a big tip.



    

                   

But afterwards...

ooh-ooh.



    

                   

"Afterwards, ooh-ooh." What do

you mean, "Afterwards, ooh-ooh"?



    

                   

They crab, crab, crab.

They yell at me,



    

                   

"Watch the lights! Watch the

breaks! Watch the intersections!"



    

                   

They scream at me to hurry. They

got no faith in me and my buggy.



    

                   

Yet, it's the same cab, same driver, and

we're going back over the very same road.



    

                   

It's no fun.

And, no tips.



    

                   

My brother would've tipped

you anyway. He's very generous.



    

                   

He always has been. Not

after this he won't be.



    

                   

After this he'll be

a perfectly normal human being.



    

                   

And you know what stinkers

they are.



    

                   

Glad I met ya.

I'll wait.



    

                   

Oh, no! No!

Elwood, come out.



    

                   

Don't give it to him! Stop

it! Stop it! Elwood, come out.



    

                   

Don't do that, girl. Dr.

Sanderson's giving the injection.



    

                   

I don't want him to have it.

I don't like people like that.



    

                   

I don't want my brother

to be like that. Elwood!



    

                   

Oh, you haven't given him the

injection already, have you?



    

                   

No, but we're all ready,

Mrs. Simmons. Oh, Elwood!



    

                   

What's the trouble?



    

                   

What's goin' on?

What's wrong?



    

                   

She wants to stop the

injection. She does, huh?



    

                   

Come on, you. Take your hands off me!



    

                   

Don't you touch me,

you white slaver, you!



    

                   

Marvin, please! All right,

honey. Anything you say.



    

                   

You don't know what you want. You

didn't want that rabbit either.



    

                   

What's wrong with Harvey?



    

                   

If Elwood and Myrtle Mae and I want

to live with Harvey, what is it to you?



    

                   

You don't even have to

come around. It's our house.



    

                   

Elwood! Oh, Elwood. Veta, that's all right.



    

                   

Veta's all tired out.

She's done a lot today.



    

                   

Have it your own way, but I'm

gonna take that cab back to town.



    

                   

I'm not giving up another night's sleep

again no matter how big the animal is!



    

                   

Elwood,

let us go too.



    

                   

I hate this place.

I wish I'd never seen it.



    

                   

All right, Veta. Wait

'til I get my hat and coat.



    

                   

Why...

Why look at that!



    

                   

It's my coin purse.



    

                   

It must've been in there

all the time.



    

                   

I could've paid

that cab driver myself.



    

                   

Harvey!



    

                   

Thank you, Doctor.



    

                   

Ooh!

Myrtle Mae and that man!



    

                   

They make a beautiful couple,

don't they?



    

                   

Mr. Wilson has such a dynamic

personality. That man...



    

                   

Myrtle Mae...

Mr. Wilson, may we have...



    

                   

the pleasure of your company

tomorrow night for dinner?



    

                   

We're having a few friends in.

Very informal.



    

                   

Certainly, Mr. Dowd. I'd

be glad to. Thank you.



    

                   

A very nice couple.



    

                   

And you make

a very beautiful couple too.



    

                   

Well,

I must find Harvey.



    

                   

Good-bye, Mrs. Simmons.

I'll see you tomorrow night.



    

                   

Yes. Good-bye,

Mr. Wilson.



    

                   

Myrtle Mae!



    

                   

Come, Myrtle Mae. Please try to forget

all about that dreadful Mr. Wilson.



    

                   

Wha... Wha...

Well, there you are!



    

                   

I've been looking

all over for you.



    

                   

Oh. Wasn't it cold

out here?



    

                   

Hmm? l...

I don't mind if I do.



    

                   

That'd warm us up,

wouldn't it?



    

                   

No, Charlie's would be

fine. Yeah, just fine.



    

                   

Here.

Oh, Mr. Dowd?



    

                   

Mr. Dowd, don't take him

away. Let him stay with me.



    

                   

Doctor, whatever he wants to do

is perfectly all right with me.



    

                   

He knows that.

It's up to you.



    

                   

Would you like to stay

with the doctor? Hmm?



    

                   

No, I-I don't mind.



    

                   

Have you ever been

to Akron?



    

                   

Hmm? Akron.



    

                   

Now, where is Elwood? Elwood,

we've been waiting for you.



    

                   

I'm sorry, Veta. We've lost

the car. The Judge took it.



    

                   

We'll have to go to the

corner and wait for a bus.



    

                   

Hurry up, dear.



    

                   

Good night, Mr. Shimelplatzer. Good night.



    

                   

Was anything

the matter?



    

                   

No, I, I thought you decided

to stay with Dr. Chumley.



    

                   

You... Huh?



    

                   

You...



    

                   

Well, thank you,

Harvey.



    

                   

I prefer you too.









 
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