Head Above Water Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Head Above Water script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Cameron Diaz and Harvey Keitel.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Head Above Water. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Head Above Water Script


              Look, we docked one hour ago,

            go have brunch and come back,

            and some jerk steals our dingy.

            Well, sir, I'll find your boat.

            How could some clown just waltz over here,

            cut these ropes, and putt away?

            Does your boat have a name, sir?

            Look, she's the Affinity II, Camden, Maine.

            I'll find your boat.

            I've never really had much luck with men...

            Not until I met George. All right,

            he's not exactly what I had in mind for a husband.

            I mean, he's twice my age,

            a real klutz sometimes, and, of all things,

            a superior court judge.

            But I do love him.

            He helped me with my little addictions,

            calmed my nerves,

            and sentenced me to only two years probation.

            I brought him here to my family's summer house

            for a little sun and sand.

            I'm sure in time he'll get the hang of it.

            This'll be our first real vacation.

            At last we are alone.

            Well, except for Lance. He's my childhood friend.

            Lance and I grew up swimming in the tide pools,

            sticking crabs in each other's bellybuttons,

            and playing tag underwater.

            He lives here now and looks after the place for us.

            George and Lance get along pretty well

            for two guys who have absolutely nothing in common,

            and I'm counting on Lance to show George the ropes,

            so they've planned an overnight fishing trip.

            I'm not looking forward to being left alone.

            Hey. Morning, Mo.

            It'll be our first night apart since we were married.

            I don't want you to go.

            But it was your idea.

            I changed my mind.

            This is our time, George.

            There's no phones,

            no faxes, no television.

            Just us.

            Ahoy, mates!

            Hey, George. You ready?

            Oh, yes. I just have to get my things.

            For me?

            Oh, well...

            actually, I guess it's... it's... it's for the both of you,

            For the newlyweds...

            to brighten your day.

            That's so sweet.

            You haven't brought me flowers for years.

            God!

            Are you sure you'll be all right?

            I'll be fine.

            I can always sniff your shirts.

            Chin up.

            We'll be back tomorrow around noon,

            then I'll give you my full attention.

            And remember,

            no drinking and no sedatives.

            - We'll be out around Seal Island. - Okay.

            Have fun.

            Behave yourselves.

            Love you!

            Bye!

            Be good!

            Bye!

            Bye-bye!

            Now what?

            Aw, shit.

            All right. Okay.

              George?

              Lance?

              Guess again.

              - It's me! - Oh, God! Kent!

              You shit! What are you doing here?

              How did you get here?

              I swam.

              Oh, funny.

              Would you believe I borrowed a friend's boat?

              Since when do you have any friends?

              Well, he's a brand new one.

              We didn't get around to exchanging names, but we're tight.

              We're like this.

              You'll never change, Kent Draper.

              I brought you something.

              Calla... calla lilies

              and dark chocolates, right?

              Fantastic.

              I thought you'd like them.

              I got a little something for the judge, too,

              but I... ate it on the way.

              I'm sure he'll be devastated.

              I think the reason it works between us

              has a lot to do with our age difference.

              You see, I'm very secure.

              And I think that's especially good for Nathalie,

              considering what she's had to go through with the men she's been with.

              Well, I wasn't sure when she told me

              she was gonna marry a man who was a judge,

              - But... - Pretty tough judge.

              Well, that, too.

              But, you know, Nathalie seems happy,

              and that... and that makes me happy.

              I mean, we've been like brother and sister our whole lives.

              And I appreciate your relationship with her.

              I suppose I could be jealous, but I'm not.

              Except when it comes to squirting Kent Draper with lighter fluid.

              Well, that was different, wasn't it?

              He had a hold on her that had to be broken, so I broke it.

              Yeah, I guess you did, but lighter fluid?

              That's not very judge-like, is it?

              Oh, hell.

              I didn't even light it.

              So why the hell didn't you pick me up?

              What are you talking about?

              - Didn't you get my postcard? - What postcard?

              The postcard I sent you a week ago

              to tell you that I was coming.

              Had a picture of the big bad wolf on the front.

              You sure you didn't get it?

              No, I swear I didn't get any postcard.

              You know, you really shouldn't be here.

              Thank God George is out fishing.

              George is fishing? Really?

              God, I didn't think he was the type.

              - Well, maybe you underestimate him. - Well, I don't know.

              After all, he married my girl.

              I'm not your girl anymore.

              Do me a favor.

              Just twist that knife right there in the back.

              - Right between. Give it a nice... - Stop it.

              I'm slipping. Oh, man.

              You're a mess.

              Why, thank you.

              I'll get you something to put on.

              Vodka... vodka...

              Kafka.

              You cheap bastard.

              Thought you were supposed to quit that.

              Yeah, but...

              Evelyn...

              Evelyn finally left me.

              Oh, no.

              She took the kid, too.

              I'm sorry.

              I don't know what it is, you know?

              I'm just not cut out for it.

              It's hard right now.

              But, well, listen, you know, I'll bounce back, right? Always do.

              You still shouldn't be drinking. - Please. Doctors...

              Come on, what do they know? I think vodka's the last of my vices.

              Considering how many I started with, that's not bad.

              Please join me.

              No, George doesn't like me to.

              My God, he's got his eye on you, doesn't he?

              Kent.

              Maybe that was my mistake.

              Maybe... maybe I thought a girl like you has got a mind of her own.

              I mean, personally, I kind of liked it that way.

              Enough.

              All right, so when's the old man due back for dinner?

              I'm starving here.

              Who invited you?

              - Oh, you think he'll mind? - Yes, I do.

              Lucky for you, he won't be home till tomorrow.

              Really?

              Very sorry to hear about that.

              May I?

              Sure.

              I'd say this is almost tame

              compared to what you usually do.

              Well, I usually get a pretty strong response.

              Looking at your picture, I couldn't help thinking of Nathalie.

              Well, I wasn't thinking... you know.

              No, no.

              It actually made me feel good.

              I guess you'd like to know

              Nathalie hasn't taken any medication for over a month.

              Well, that's... that's great.

              I mean, I know she needed it,

              But she needed to get off it, too.

              Well, I think what we're seeing now

              is the light at the end of the tunnel.

              I sure hope so.

              Hey, you want a drink?

              I haven't had a drink since I got married.

              Oh, well, that's great.

              So who's the architect,

              Frank Lloyd Wrong?

              That's George's dream project.

              Lance keeps trying to help him,

              but George is just too stubborn.

              He wants to do it all on his own.

              Good luck.

              Do you remember this?

              Yeah, I remember.

              When's the last time you danced?

              With you, probably.

              With me definitely. Come here.

              I don't think this is such a good idea.

              Of course it's a good idea.

              Dancing lightens the soul, didn't you know?

              Just 'cause your married, doesn't mean that you're dead.

              Oh, my God, I missed you so much.

              You have no idea.

              Kent!

              I think you should go.

              - Really? - Yeah.

              - No. - Yeah.

              Come on, I could've sworn you were thinking

              the same thing I was thinking all night long.

              Oh, I have to...

              What are you doing?

              Nothing. I'm dancing. I'm just dancing.

              Stop it!

              I can't do this.

              Shit.

              Kent! Kent?

              They're back.

              Get up. Kent!

              Shit.

              Come on, get up. They're back!

              They're coming right now.

              Kent! Kent! Fuck.

              Oh, shit.

              Oh, shit.

              Nathalie!

              Two brave fishermen

              home from the sea,

              hungry for coffee

              and my little Nathalie!

              Don't let anyone say

              your husband's not a good provider.

              Did everything go all right?

              Well, I didn't sleep very well.

              Oh, I'm sorry, darling.

              You go back to bed and Lance and I will make you breakfast.

              - How does that sound? - I'm a little too groggy to eat,

              so I'm just gonna jump in the water and try to swim it off.

              - Okay. - Okay?

              You sure you're all right, honey?

              Guess I just missed you.

              A little early, isn't it judge?

              I can't figure out how it got here.

              I know Nathalie doesn't drink that stuff.

              - What do you need? - Sausage.

              It's gone.

              What's left is in the fridge.

              Okay.

              So where is it?

              In the cigar box, middle shelf, far right.

              I only eat the best sausage,

              So I keep it in the best box.

              Are you sure you're all right?

              Yes.

              You haven't been drinking?

              It spilled.

              You took the cap off first?

              I need to talk to you.

              All right.

              What's going on here?

              There we go.

              I have to get some air.

              I'll talk to her.

              Hey... did I miss something?

              No.

              No, I mean, I just had a rough night. Is that a crime?

              No.

              You know...

              if you ever need to get away,

              You can...

              What do you mean?

              Nothing.

              It's just that my door's always open for you, you know?

              Hey, why don't you come back tonight,

              and we'll barbecue up that fish,

              Talk like old times?

              Well...

              not quite.

              Don't worry about me. I'm okay.

              Okay.

              Oh, that.

              You got a new watch, too?

              There's a perfectly reasonable explanation.

              Well, it's not my birthday.

              It's Kent's.

              Kent's?

              Nothing happened.

              Well, if nothing happened,

              why didn't you tell me he was coming?

              I didn't know he was coming.

              He sent a postcard but we never got it.

              Well, then why did he leave before Lance and I got back?

              He didn't leave.

              He didn't?

              He's still here.

              Kent!

              Come on, lover boy!

              Game's over!

              Well?

              Peek-a-boo, Kent.

              Aren't you having breakfast...

              or have you already had the house special?

              He's dead, Nathalie.

              I know. I think that it was his heart.

              His heart?

              You know, he had a bad heart.

              And it just stopped?

              After    years,

              it just gave out for no good reason?

              Evelyn left him, and he was drinking all night.

              He's naked!

              He showed up here drunk, he went for a swim,

              He came back, he drank some more, and then he fell asleep.

              And that's how I found him.

              I swear nothing happened!

              I'm sorry, George. I just found him like that.

              He was dead, and I thought you would be jealous.

              - I was afraid you'd go off... - No, no, no, no.

              - I'm sorry. - I thought you'd go crazy.

              You know, I panicked. I thought that you would be jealous.

              We'll put him in the storage shed for now...

              then we'll take him to Rockland.

              His neck is broken.

              Did he fall?

              When you stepped on...

              the cellar door.

              "Judge delivers young wife's ex-lover to authorities."

              "It was his heart," he says,

              dismissing broken neck.

              Well, won't there be a... an autopsy?

              Sure... when they get to it.

              In the meantime,

              they'll content themselves with the headlines.

              Oh, well. Get his clothes. Let's be done with it.

              Now what?

              - They're at the bottom of the bay. - What?

              I... I told you, I panicked!

              How the hell am I supposed to deliver him without clothes?

              "Nude ex-lover with broken neck

              delivered by jealous judge"!

              Are you sure... it was here?

              I think so.

              Here, let... let me help you.

              Here.

              I remember looking at the cottage from about here.

              You have to fix two points...

              to establish a position.

              I'm gonna take another look.

              No.

              "I remember looking at the cottage from about here."

              Nope.

              Nothing.

              Wonderful.

              Maybe we can dress him in your clothes.

              Even your underwear should fit him.

              Well, you should know all about that.

              Can we stay here until the autopsy's over?

              You could, but they'd want someone in jail,

              and that would be me.

              But nobody killed him. I don't see how clothing

              can make a difference one way or another.

              We're not talking about a kindergarten squabble.

              Anything can happen in a court of law.

              You sure you're not worried about your position?

              - I don't see how you can be... - Don't you realize

              that I could be convicted

              on circumstantial evidence?

              Don't you realize that I could be convicted

              even if I'm innocent?

              And I could spend the rest of my life in jail

              because of this stupid mess.

              This is all my fault, George.

              What we've got to do now is stick together.

              Now, go to the shed and get the methanol for me,

              and I'll clean the filter, and we'll take him in.

              It's not there.

              It's in the vodka bottle.

              Blue label.

              So he drank all the methanol, too!

              How stupid, putting methanol in a vodka bottle.

              Did you watch him drink the methanol?

              He never went to the shed.

              How do you know?

              I was with him.

              You watched him every moment?

              Even when he fell asleep?

              I guess he could've gone and found it in the shed.

              Then where's the bottle?

              I don't know.

              What are you thinking?

              I'm thinking we really need to get rid of this body.

              You're not serious.

              Oh, yes, I am.

              But we didn't kill him. He just died.

              He just died?

              Who do you think is going to believe that?

              First we poisoned him, then we broke his neck.

              Then we took his clothes...

              and we're very sorry.

              No one will believe us. Do you understand?

              At this point, a simple drowning

              is the most plausible explanation.

              But what about his family?

              I know what I'm doing. I'm going to get him ready.

              Are we... taking him to Rockland?

              I told you what we're doing.

              But won't he... float?

              Nathalie!

              Just carry him.

              Shit.

              On three.

              One...

              two...

              three!

              Gotcha!

              Oh, sorry.

              I just... thought I'd come over a little early

              and help you chop up some potatoes or something.

              What you doing?

              We're... we're just getting rid of a little junk.

              Yeah, we're almost finished,

              So why don't you go back and start the potatoes?

              Well, you don't think you're gonna get rid of me that easily, do you?

              Come on, let me give you a hand.

              There you go.

              Ready, George?

              Easy.

              Watch your step.

              Okay...

              You all right there, George?

              Thanks... for the help, Lance.

              Oh, no, I'm not gonna leave you holding the stove, George.

              Besides, the reef broke up last year.

              Deep water's not where it used to be.

              It's not?

              This should about do her.

              I don't think it's deep enough.

              No?

              Oh, yeah. You could lose a courthouse down there.

              Why don't you get a closer look?

              You are gonna pay for this crime.

              You gotta catch me first.

              Come here, you!

              Lance, hang on a minute!

              You all right?

              My back.

              Lance, wait!

              Lance! Wait! Where are you going?

              Hi.

              Couldn't make it?

              What?

              Your back.

              Okay...

              Well...

              your problems are over.

              The only thing we've gotten rid of is the goddamn stove.

              Oh, I suppose that's my fault.

              Did the body appear because of me or because of you?

              It wasn't my fault that he drank the methanol.

              Was it mine?

              I don't keep methanol in vodka bottles...

              or sausages in cigar boxes

              or melon balls in beer steins!

              No! You just keep naked corpses in the cellar!

              What I'm asking you is, did something happen?

              I already answered that question, George.

              Did something happen?

              No! No, no, no!

              Why didn't you want me to see him naked?

              That's enough! You know, I really wish

              That you would stop thinking of yourself in this thing, George.

              - We could be in a lot of trouble! - Well,

              you're finally getting the idea. That's great, Nathalie.

              I can't go through with any more of this.

              We have to take him to Rockland.

              Fine. I'd be happy to go along with that, except for one thing.

              He's got to be wearing his clothes!

              You wrecked my marriage!

              You wrecked my career!

              You wrecked my life!

              Hey, Nat, is something wrong?

              What?

              You... look like you saw a ghost or something.

              No, I just... I never imagined you wearing something like this.

              Oh, that. The tide brought it in,

              and I just... figured I'd dress up for dinner.

              You know what? George and I can't do that tonight

              'cause his back is just killing him.

              Can't be too bad.

              I... guess not.

              Want to come in and say hi to Mo? He knows you're here.

              Got a great partner there.

              Yeah, I sure do.

              Still laughs at all my jokes, too.

              Don't you, Mo?

              So what was that all about today?

              What all about?

              Us...

              under the water.

              That was just old times.

              Old times?

              I don't remember that part.

              So what do you think?

              It's great.

              Yeah?

              Yeah.

              You know what I'd like to do?

              What?

              I'd like to take that suit and clean it for you.

              Well, it doesn't sound like much fun.

              Well, that's what I'd like to do.

              Okay. I got a better idea.

              Why don't you just take the suit and give it to George?

              It's linen... I think.

              And... I'm not really the linen type.

              Where do you think this thing came from?

              I don't know.

              It probably just drifted off from someplace.

              That suit...

              I wonder if someone might've drowned.

              Who'd row all the way out here in a dinghy in a white linen suit?

              You got me there.

              All right, so what are we gonna do with the boat?

              Well, George and I are going into town.

              We can take it back with us.

              Yeah?

              Well, my boat's not quite ready yet.

              - Maybe I could... - Lance.

              Someone will be looking for it.

              Okay.

              George!

              Hey, George!

              I got the suit.

              It just... it... it floated in,

              and the dinghy washed back.

              So everything's solved.

              We can go back into town after all.

              We got a perfectly reasonable explanation.

              Good girl.

              You laid the steps.

              I did it while you were playing

              ring-around-the-rosie with cabin boy.

              It's much cleaner this way.

              Kent simply drowned.

              He probably had too much to drink.

              But we'll never know

              because the victim's body will never be recovered.

              No corpus delicti.

              Do you realize what you've done?

              Yes.

              You've cut up a friend

              and cemented him into the steps.

              Quick, neat and final.

              Did you ever think that I might have some feelings?

              Oh, I know you have feelings.

              Well?

              Well, I put our future ahead of your feelings.

              Our future.

              One of us had to do something.

              You couldn't, I did.

              You made a mess, and I cleaned it up.

              But we didn't do anything wrong.

              You don't know anything about criminal law!

              The way things are, we wouldn't stand a chance!

              The only thing you know about criminal law

              is the silly little appearances you and your friends made

              in connection with drugs and domestic disturbances.

              You knew about having your hand slapped, and that's all!

              You've never been responsible for any of your actions.

              I suppose you have.

              That's right!

              Did you check the mail this week?

              As a matter of fact, I did. There was none.

              No postcard?

              No postcard.

              Where you going now?

              For a swim.

              What's wrong with you?

              - Come here! - No!

              No!

              You killed him!

              You probably knew he was coming all the time!

              - What? - You saw the postcard!

              You put the methanol in the bottle!

              You knew he would drink it!

              You're crazy!

              No! You were jealous! You could never forgive him!

              That's why you planned it!

              You cut him up to hide the traces!

              That bottle! He found that bottle in the shed,

              and you know it!

              You're a liar!

              I'm telling you the truth!

              - No! - I'm telling you the truth!

              Is this what you're looking for?

              This is powerful stuff.

              Been taking many?

              I took one today.

              I take them all the time.

              I'm sorry I tried to run away.

              We have to get rid of these.

              You gotta talk to me, George.

              Tell me what you're thinking.

              I'm thinking...

              a single strand of hair...

              a mere drop of blood...

              any shred of evidence could send us to prison for life.

              And I don't want that.

              Eat another chocolate.

              I'm full.

              No.

              I need some sleep.

              Me, too.

              You're not serious?

              I can't afford your running away

              and talking to the authorities.

              But, George...

              We can't take any chances.

              When you've had time to think about it, you'll understand

              that this was all for the best.

              Okay, I know you're a little upset. Okay, really upset.

              But... but you're not thinking straight, George.

              You get so crazy when you drink. You... you can't keep this up.

              Nightie-night.

              Nathalie! Stop!

              Get away!

              Shit!

              Nathalie!

              Leave me alone!

              Stop, Nathalie! Stop!

              Hey, you're up early.

              Well...

              I never really went to sleep.

              No?

              To tell you the truth...

              we went for a moonlight cruise, and...

              one thing led to another.

              How's your back?

              Feels good!

              You know, I've been thinking about this suit.

              And the dinghy.

              Think there could have been an accident?

              I don't know. I don't think so.

              I mean, who'd go rowing in a white linen suit?

              I know. I think it just slipped its moorings,

              and the suit was lying in the boat.

              But Nathalie is all worked up about it.

              I thought you might run it past the police.

              I thought you two were going to town.

              Nathalie's not doing too well.

              She had a little too much to drink.

              We're going to take a little excursion as soon as she's better.

              I'd sure appreciate it if you'd drop this off.

              I could get Nathalie to stop bugging me if you would.

              What the hell?

              I owe you one.

              Let's go boating.

              That was a quick trip.

              I need more fuel to make town.

              Are you ready to leave?

              Just about.

              Well, then I'll just say good-bye.

              You can't.

              I haven't been totally honest with you.

              I didn't think so.

              That's why I came back.

              Yeah, I figured as much.

              Her withdrawal from the sedatives...

              has been very hard.

              And it all came to a head last night.

              She tried to kill herself.

              Really?

              I found her...

              with your shotgun.

              Oh, God!

              We're going to Rockland as soon as she wakes up.

              Well, I want to come with you.

              You can't.

              We've got to work this out ourselves. Please.

              Give her my love.

              I will.

              Lance!

              Lance!

              Nat?

              Oh, God, Lance, I'm sorry.

              He's going to kill me.

              Who?

              - George! - George?

              He killed Kent.

              Kent.

              I'm next.

              It's true.

              He told me that you tried to kill yourself with my shotgun.

              No, I was trying to hold him off.

              I was trying to escape. I was trying to save my life.

              You got to believe me!

              Just relax, okay?

              You don't need that. Give me that.

              It's okay. It's all right.

              Let's sit down. Come on.

              Just tell me what happened, okay?

              Kent sent this postcard. It was a picture of the big bad wolf.

              It... We were supposed to pick him up.

              He... he said he was coming, but I didn't see it, okay?

              George hid it, and he put the methanol in a bottle

              and he left it in the kitchen.

              He knew that Kent was going to drink it,

              and now he's dead.

              And?

              He cut him up and cemented him in the steps of the gazebo.

              You don't believe me?

              Well...

               go and see for yourself. He's there in the steps.

                Now George wants to kill me, too, Lance.

                I'm not kidding. I'm not joking around, okay? Go see.

                All right. No, I will.

                No, promise me.

                I promise.

                Okay. Now, just stay here.

                And don't worry, okay?

                I'm going to get this whole thing straightened out.

                No!

                Don't touch me!

                It's going to be okay, Nat.

                - It's all right, Nathalie. - Get away from me!

                - You're safe with us. - Help me, Lance!

                See what I mean?

                Don't listen to him.

                We're going to have to restrain her.

                No!

                Nat!

                It's loaded.

                My God!

                He's going to kill me and call it suicide.

                Come on, Nathalie.

                Lance, give me a hand!

                How?

                Get a rope!

                You... you don't need to do that, do you?

                No.

                Of course not.

                My nerves are just shot.

                Lance, you promised me.

                All right.

                Let's go take a look at the steps.

                Steps? - Yeah.

                Nat said that you cemented a body in there.

                Kent's.

                You've got to be kidding.

                No. Nat... Nat thinks he was here.

                Kent?

                Look, I'll take care of the damage, okay?

                Let's just do it and then we'll all be satisfied.

                Fine by me.

                Okay.

                See you later, darling.

                Lance, look...

                this is crazy.

                Why don't we just let some time pass

                and then go back and say we did it?

                I've never seen her this bad before.

                I know.

                It's my fault, really. I took away her medication.

                I was afraid for her. She was taking so much.

                You added an extra step.

                I had to, to even things out.

                And I had extra cement.

                It doesn't look too bad, does it?

                No, no.

                You know, George, I was thinking...

                with Nathalie in such a state, you know,

                I don't think it's a good idea to upset her

                any more than she already is.

                And if she sees we haven't done anything, well...

                It took me all day to pour them.

                Well, I promised her.

                They're rock solid.

                Oh, well.

                Oh, no!

                George, no! Please!

                I know you didn't do it!

                Stop it!

                George?

                George?

                He's... he's dead.

                How does that feel?

                Much better.

                I should do something about George.

                Don't go right now. Please.

                You need rest.

                Lance, don't.

                You know, when we dumped the stove...

                when we were in the water...

                I could have done some things,

                but George was around.

                You understand?

                Sometimes it's so easy to get it all mixed up.

                People who love from a distance

                or who love a long time without...

                getting any love returned.

                Sometimes that love can turn hard and brittle.

                Sometimes the biggest love

                can turn to hate.

                It's a postcard.

                I forgot to give it to you.

                Why are you looking at me like that?

                I didn't read it.

                Nat, I didn't know Kent was coming.

                I don't read other people's mail.

                Nat...

                You think I killed him, don't you?

                Why, because I was... I was stuck on you?

                Oh, Nat, don't think that way.

                Nathalie!

                Nathalie!

                No!

                Nathalie, don't be crazy.

                You're not making sense, don't you see?

                I couldn't have done any of this.

                When I found Kent's body,

                George tried to kill me.

                I love you too much to...

                What have you done?

                Walk!

                What are you doing?

                Not to worry, darling.

                You'll sit tight this time.

                Now I've caught a cold.

                What are you laughing at?

                Who's laughing now, tweety?

                Too tight?

                You're a monster!

                Well, the monster has good news.

                Our case has been solved.

                Lance...

                killed Kent in a jealous rage.

                He cut him up and cemented him in the steps.

                All this was done while we were out boating.

                Upon our return,

                I, being a middle-aged man...

                had to lie down for a nap.

                But Lance wasn't finished.

                He did this awful thing to you.

                Poor Lance. Utterly demented.

                Fortunately, I was able to shoot him.

                Isn't it perfect?

                Well, I think it is.

                And I feel like celebrating.

                What are you drinking?

                I can't see.

                It's the methanol.

                Lance must have borrowed it.

                I can't see.

                I can't see.

                Kent... Kent did die of a heart attack.

                I can't see.

                Jesus, untie me, George!

                Untie me!

                George!

                George!

                Ah, there you are.

                Help!

                Help!

                I'm stuck.

                Come on, let me give you a hand.

                - You... you can't. - Up.

                What's going on out here?

                It's a long story.

                I guess it must be.

                I never even saw the postcard.

                Anyway, Kent started drinking. He's not supposed to drink.

                He... he has a heart condition, palpitations or something.

                I'm not sure, but once he gets started,

                there's just no stopping him.

                It's just the way Kent is... was.

                Is this making any sense at all?

                Yeah.

                Go on, go on.

                So I never really had much luck with men.

                I thought that George might change all that,

                but then this happened.

                Anyway, we didn't know what to do.

                You know, George being a judge and all.

                There would have been a huge scandal.

                - Are you getting all this? - Yeah, sure.

                - Can I keep going? - Go right ahead.

                Say, is there anything to drink on board?

                Oh, check the cooler.

                So we thought that Kent had drunk the methanol,

                but it turns out that he didn't.





 
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