Hedwig And The Angry Inch
Script - Dialogue Transcript
Voila! Finally, the Hedwig And The Angry Inch
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie John Cameron
Mitchell. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Hedwig And The Angry Inch. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Don't you know me, Kansas City?
I'm the new Berlin Wall.
Try and tear me down!
I was born on the other side
Of a town ripped in two
I made it over the Great Divide
Now I'm coming for you
Enemies and adversaries
They try and tear me down
You want me, baby, I dare you
Try and tear me down
I rose from off of the doctor's slab
Like Lazarus from the pit
Now everyone wants to take a stab
And decorate me
Blood, graffiti, and spit
Enemies and adversaries
They try and tear me down
You want me, baby, I dare you
Try and tear me down.
On August
a wall was erected
down the middle of the city of Berlin.
The world was divided by a cold war,
and the Berlin Wall was the most hated symbol of that divide.
Reviled, graffiti'd, spit upon.
We thought the wall would stand forever.
And now that it's gone,
we don't know who we are anymore.
Ladies and gentlemen, Hedwig is like that wall,
standing before you in a divide
between East and West.
Slavery and freedom.
Man and woman. Top and bottom.
And you can try and tear her down,
but before you do,
you must remember one thing!
Ain't much of a difference
Between a bridge and a wall
Without me right in the middle, babe
Wow!
You would be nothing at all
Enemies and adversaries
They try and tear me down
You want me, baby, I dare you
Try and tear me down
Enemies and adversaries
They try and tear me down
You me want me, baby, I dare you
Try and tear me down.
From East Berlin
to Junction City.
Hello, New York; Hello, Missouri.
What? You wanna try and tear me down?
Come on and tear-rrr--
Me down!
Hello...?
Where is everybody?
Out.
"Out"? Why are you in such a mood?
I have been having the most wonderful time with--
do you remember that -year-old divorcee
with the hair and the mean look?
She came up to me after the show, and I thought,
"This lady wants a piece of me."
So I didn't know what to do.
I was alone, I had nothing in my hand,
I was gonna go for the eyes.
She came at me from both sides, somehow,
and she just gave me a fucking hug.
She gave me a fucking hug.
Can you figure?
Can you fucking beat that? She gave me--
I also got a few drinks out of it as well,
which was not a bad...
I was born on the other side
Of a town ripped in two
Made it over the Great Divide
Now I'm coming for you
Enemies and adversaries...
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Why can't we...
why don't you write a new song?
You want me, baby, I dare you
Try and tear me down...
Thank you, my name is Hedwig.
Please welcome those ambassadors of Eastern bloc rock,
The Angry Inch. Here they are.
And my man Friday,
through Thursday,
Yitzhak, ladies and gentlemen.
There's no need, there's none.
Also very talented and so lucky to be here, right, boys?
- Yeah. - Yes, Miss Hedwig.
Look out, guys, lmmigration!
I've got their passports right here.
Ladies and gentlemen,
do you like the pelt? I want you to be honest,
because some bitch stopped me on the way in--
"What poor, unfortunate creature had to die
for you to wear that?"
"My Aunt Trudy," I replied.
Just walked away. Just walked away ladies and--
- Hedwig, can we eat dessert? - What is it? Yes, you can.
I am thrilled,
you can join me for the fabulous first night
of the St. Louis leg of my world tour.
And when it comes to huge openings,
a lot of people think of me.
Many more of you, though,
have only recently become aware of me.
It took a character assassination piece like this
to make you finally pay attention.
But now you're interested, huh?
Intrigued, even?
How did some...
slip of a girly-boy from Communist East Berlin
become the internationally ignored song stylist
barely standing before you?
That's what I want to talk about tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't wanna talk about sudden,
undeserved commercial success.
I don't wanna talk about betrayal,
I don't wanna talk about my lawsuit
against a certain rock and roll "icon,"
Tommy Gnosis,
who, by some freak coincidence, is performing
right next door at Busch Stadium.
And to whom I taught everything he knows,
and has apparently forgotten,
about rock & roll!
Yes, this is Phyllis Stein,
manager of Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
I've been ho-- "Inch"! Not "Itch."
Let me speak to Brad, please.
You know I've been holding for minutes?
Yes, hi, Brad, this is Phyllis.
So what's going on with Bilgewater's?
You make the baby cry.
I heard the entire chain's going under.
Hold on, hold on a second.
- Hedwig! - We can have a gig
in any Bilgewater's nationwide with a -hour notice?
And they know what kind of music we play?
Brad, I love you.
Okay, ciao.
People, people, people.
Tomorrow is a travel day.
It's a travel day for Tommy,
so it's a travel day for us.
Friday, Chicago.
Tommy's at Soldier Field,
and we're at Bilgewater's
in the mall down the street.
And the next day, looks like he's...
basically, he's back on the bus.
Phyllis-- "basically"?
He's doing a record signing.
Why do you feel the need to lie to me?
Hedwig, please. Come.
I don't think it's going to help our lawsuit
if you continue to--
if you present the appearance of stalking.
You know I don't like that word.
Please listen to me. How about you don't talk to him,
and I get someone to steal a photo
- of you two together? - A photo--
You know some rag will run it.
It'll really help the lawsuit.
Proves you two know each other.
Please,
Iet me do my job. Please?
Okay.
I'm gonna make some phone calls.
I'm gonna make some phone calls!
All right.
Okay, everybody. Bedski!
Ladies and gentlemen,
I recently found my first diary.
Age - .
EAST BERLIN
It was fully illustrated.
As I unrolled the pages,
I realised that so many people have touched me
on my way to this stage tonight.
How can I say who touched me the most?
My father, the American Gl?
Could it have been my East German mother?
...pervert!
Get out! Get out!
Go on... Go on!
When the earth was still flat
And clouds made of fire
And mountains stretched up to the sky
Sometimes higher
Folks roamed the earth
Like big rolling kegs
They had two sets of arms
They had two sets of legs
They had two faces peering out of one giant head
So they could watch all around them
As they talked while they read
And they never
Knew nothing of love
It was before
The origin of love
The origin of love
The origin of love
The origin of love
Now there was three sexes then
One that looked like two men glued up back-to-back
They called the children of the sun
And similar in shape and girth
Was the children of the Earth
They looked like two girls rolled up in one
And the children of the moon
Looked like a fork shoved on a spoon
They was part sun, part earth
Part daughter, part son
Aah--
The origin of love
Now the gods grew quite scared
Of our strength and defiance
And Thor said
"I'm gonna kill 'em all with my hammer
Like I killed the giants"
ButZeus said
"No, you better let me
Use my lightning like scissors
Like I cut the legs off the whales
Dinosaurs into lizards"
And then he grabbed up some bolts
He let out a laugh
Said, "I'll split them right down the middle
Gonna cut them right up in half"
And the storm clouds gathered above
Into great balls of fire
And then fire
Shot down from the sky in bolts
Like shining blades of a knife
And they ripped right through the flesh
Of the children of the sun
And the moon and the earth
And some lndian god
Sewed the wound up into a hole
Pulled it round to our bellies
To remind us the price we pay
And Osiris, and the gods of the Nile
Gathered up a big storm to blow a hurricane
To scatter us away
In a flood of wind and rain
A sea of tidal waves
To wash us all away
And if we don't behave
They'll cut us down again
And we'll be hopping around on one foot
Looking through one eye
The last time I saw you
We'd just split in two
You was looking at me
I was looking at you
You had a way so familiar
I could not recognise
'Cause you had blood on your face
I had blood in my eyes
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine
That's the pain
That cuts a straight line down through the heart
We call it love
We wrapped our arms around each other
Tried to shove ourselves back together
We was making love
Making love
It was a cold, dark evening such a long time ago
When, by the mighty hand of Jove
It was a sad story how we became
Lonely two-legged creatures
The story of the origin of love
That's the origin of love
Oh yeah
The origin of love
The origin of love
The origin of love.
It is clear that I must find my other half,
but is it a he, or a she?
What does this person look like?
Identical to me?
Or somehow complementary?
Does my other half have what I don't?
Did he get the looks?
The luck?
The love?
Were we really separated forcibly,
or did he just run off with the good stuff?
Or did l?
Will this person embarrass me?
What about sex?
Is that how we put ourselves back together again?
Or can two people...
actually become one...
again?
I remember once when I was six years old
I was watching my favourite cartoon
on American Forces Network--
"Jesus Was Good."
Jesus said the darndest thing.
Don't you ever mention that name to me again.
But he died for our sins.
So did Hitler.
Absolute power corrupts.
Absolutely.
Better to be powerless, my son.
In the year I was born, The Wall went up.
And many people decided to move west to freedom.
Mother threw me into a wheelbarrow
and headed east.
The Communists gave her a job
teaching sculpture to limbless children.
Most of my time was spent
Iistening to American Forces Radio.
We are freaks
We follow the code of freaks We are freaks!
We stand back We are freaks
We do what we please and do what we choose
We are bad...
Our apartment was so small,
that mother made me play in the oven.
One of us, one of us...
Late at night,
I would listen to the voices of the American masters:
Toni Tenille, Debby Boone,
Anne Murray-- who was actually a Canadian,
working in the American idiom.
And then there were the crypto-homo rockers:
Lou Reed, lggy Pop,
David Bowie-- who was actually an idiom
working in America and Canada.
These artists,
they left as deep an impression on me
as that oven rack did on my face.
To be a young American in muskrat love,
soft as an easy chair, not even the chair,
"I am," I said, "Have I never been mellow?"
And the coloured girls sing...
Do, do-do, do-do, do, do-do
Do, do-do, do-do, do, do-do
Do, do-do, do-do
Do, do-do, do, do-do, do-do...
But never with the melody.
How could I do it better than Toni or Lou?
"Hey, boy...
take a walk on the wild side!"
By my side
You will be the one
Lying by my side
Lying by my side
Lying by my side.
Okay.
Okay.
One day, in the late mid- s...
I was in my early late s,
I had just been dismissed from university
after delivering a brilliant lecture
on the aggressive influence of German philosophy
on rock and roll, entitled,
"You, Kant, Always Get What You Want."
At my academic career was over,
I had never kissed a boy,
and I was still sleeping with Mom.
The search for my other half
on my side of The Wall
had proved futile.
Might he be found on the other?
But how to get over? People died trying.
Such were the thoughts flooding my tiny head,
on the day that I was sunning myself...
in an old bomb crater
I had discovered near The Wall.
I am naked,
face down on a piece of broken church,
inhaling a fragrant westerly breeze,
my God, I deserved a break today.
Girl,
I sure don't mean to annoy you.
My name is Sergeant Luther Robinson.
My name is Hansel.
Luther is silent for a moment as he stares at my...
"Iittle bishop in a turtleneck."
Hansel?
Well, you must like candy.
I like Gummi Baerchen.
The taste is completely different from a Gummi Bear,
yet somehow familiar.
It's much sweeter than a Gummi Bear.
Wow.
And softer, too.
I feel so optimistic.
I suddenly recognised the flavour in my mouth--
it's the taste of power.
Damn, Hansel.
I can't believe you're not a girl.
You're so fine.
Why don't you take the whole bag?
He searches my face for news of his fate.
His expression is echoed in scores of tiny faces,
pressing against clear plastic,
panting faces of every imaginable colour,
creed, and non-Aryan origin,
fogging up the bag
Iike the windows of a Polish bathhouse.
I stumbled naked through the ruins,
back towards blander, less complicated confections,
Ieaving in my wake, a trail of rainbow carnage.
Next day, Hansel follows the trail back,
and on his way finds a Milky Way,
a roll of Necco Wafers,
some Pop Rocks,
and a giant-sized Sugar Daddy named Luther.
I've got a sweet tooth
For licorice drops and jelly rolls
Hey, sugar daddy
Hansel needs some sugar in his bowl
I'll lay out fine china on the linen
And polish up the chrome
If you've got some sugar for me
Sugar daddy, bring it home
Oh, the thrill of control
Like the rush of rock and roll
It's the sweetest taste I've known
If you've got some sugar, bring it home.
Looks like we've got
some sugar daddies in the house.
Honey bees go shopping
It's something to be seen.
You could give me a cavity, honey.
They swarm to wildflowers
Get nectar for the queen.
I bet you could fill that cavity, sweetie.
And everything you bring me
Got me dripping like a honeycomb
If you got some sugar for me
Sugar daddy, bring it home.
It's a car wash, ladies and gentlemen.
Whoa, the thrill of control
Like a blitzkrieg on the roll
It's the sweetest taste I've known
Oh yeah
If you've got some sugar, bring it home
Ba-da ba-da do
Come on, sugar daddy, bring it home.
He loves me, Mother.
He wants to marry me...
and get me the hell out of here.
Get my passport and my camera, Hansel.
It's a simple cut-and-paste job.
We change the photo,
and you can use my name-- Hedwig Schmidt.
Not so simple, ladies.
Baby...
you know I love you.
I'm always thinking of you.
But I gotta marry you here,
in East Berlin.
And that means a full physical examination.
They'd see right away that I have a--
No, baby.
To walk away...
you gotta...
Ieave something behind.
Am I right, Mrs Schmidt?
I've always thought so, Luther.
To be free,
one must give up a little part of oneself.
And I know just the doctor to take it.
My sex change operation got botched
My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch
Now all I've got is a Barbie doll crotch
I've got an angry inch
Six inches forward, five inches back
I got a-- I got an angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
I got a-- I got an angry inch
I'm from the land where you still hear the cries
I had to get out, had to sever all ties
I changed my name and assumed a disguise
I got an angry inch
Six inches forward, five inches back
I got a-- I got an angry inch
Six inches forward, five inches back
I got a-- I got an angry inch
Six inches forward, five inches back
The train is coming and I'm tied to the track
I try to get up, I can't get no slack
I got an angry inch, angry inch
My mother made my tits out of clay
Tits out of clay
My boyfriend told me that he'd take me away
Tits of clay
He dragged me to the doctor one day
I've got an angry inch
Six inches forward, five inches back
I got a motherfucking angry inch
Six inches forward, five inches back
I got a-- I got an angry inch
Long story short.
Yeah, long story short--
when I woke up from the operation,
I was bleeding down there.
I was bleeding from the gash between my legs.
It's my first day as a woman,
already it's that time of the month.
But two days later, the hole closed up.
The wound healed and I was left...
With a one-inch mound of flesh
Where my penis used to be, where my vagina never was
It was a one-inch mound of flesh
With a scar running down it like a sideways grimace
On an eyeless face
- It was just a little bulge. - Faggot!
It was an angry inch
Six inches forward, five inches back
The train is coming and I'm tied to the track
I try to get up, I can't get no slack
I got an angry inch, angry--
Six inches forward, five inches back
Stay undercover till the night turns to black
I got my inch, I'm set to attack
I got an angry inch, angry inch
Six inches forward, five inches back
Stay undercover till the night turns to black
I got my inch, I'm set to attack
I got an angry inch, angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back
The train is coming and I'm tied to the track
I try to get up, I can't get no slack
I got an angry inch, angry inch
Six inches forward and five inches back...
...champagne flowing freely...
...all border crossings
are reported to be wide open, and thousands are flooding
into the western half of the city
to celebrate their newfound freedom.
The Berlin Wall has fallen,
and the world will never be the same.
The Germans are a patient people,
and good things come to those who wait.
On nights
Like this
When the world's a bit amiss
And the lights go down across the trailer park
I get down
I feel had
Feel on the verge of going mad
Then it's time to punch the clock
I put on some makeup
Turn on the tape deck
And put the wig back on my head
Suddenly I'm Miss Midwest Midnight checkout queen
Until I head home
And I put myself to bed
I look back on where I'm from
Look at the woman I've become
And the strangest things seem suddenly routine
I look up from my vermouth on the rocks
A gift-wrapped wig still in the box
Of towering Velveteen
I put on some makeup
Some Lavern Baker
I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm Miss Beehive
Until I wake up and I turn back to myself
Some girls they got natural ease
They wear it any way they please
With their French flip curls
And perfumed magazines
Wear it up
Let it down
This is the best way that I've found
To be the best you've ever seen
I put on some makeup
Turn on the eight-track
I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm Miss Farrah Fawcett from TV
Until I wake up
And I turn back to myself
Shag, bi-level, bob, Dorothy Hamill do
Sausage curls, chicken wings
It's all because of you
With your blow-dried feather back
Toni Home Wave, too
Flip, 'fro, frizz, flop
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
Okay, everybody!
Suddenly I'm this punk rock star
Of stage and screen
And I ain't never
I'm never turning back
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do-do.
When the Earth was still flat
And clouds made of fire
The mountains stretched
Up to the sky, sometimes higher...
I am so sorry.
I was waiting for the phone company.
God, is that his new single?
Don't do it, sweetie!
Please don't say anything to him today.
If you do, he's got the power,
know what I mean? He's got the power!
All we need is a snapshot,
then they'll know that you were responsible
for some of the biggest hits of the millennium,
and you will be so fucking rich!
Damn it, looks like the photographer's already inside.
Everybody, stay right here.
Hedwig, Hedwig, Hedwig...
please don't say anything.
Let me handle it.
- Phyllis Stein party. - Who are you with?
We're A&R from A&M.
Actually, this is a private event.
I'm sorry.
- Private event? - Mm-hmm.
As in, "You're not on the list."
As in, "Find it."
I'm looking, and you know what?
It's not here.
- Justin! - Get out of my fucking way!
Settle down.
- I could have your job! - I don't think you could.
- Bitches! - Where's my fucking brooch?
We're going to continue to shadow Tommy's tour.
We're going to squeeze the local press.
I do not want to blow our wad
on my E! channel contact until we get to New York.
It's all about New York.
Honey, I've thought about it,
I think it's a bad idea, this photo-op.
It was your idea.
I'm second-guessing myself now. I think...
I don't think you should have
any personal contact with Tommy.
- I guess we disagree. - Honey, we do disagree,
- but please listen. - Did you--
excuse me, did you put a bra in a dryer?
What?
Did you put a bra in a dryer?!
Yes.
How many times do I have to tell you?
You don't put a bra in a dryer!
It warps!
Hedwig, please, it's a bra.
You can have one of mine. Please!
You know, ladies and gentlemen,
the road is my home.
- My home, the road. - Hear, hear.
And when I think about all the people
I have come upon in my travels,
I have to think about the people
who have come upon me.
Tommy, can you hear me?
Yeah!
From this milkless tit,
you sucked
the very business we call show!
Okay.
You wanna know about Tommy Gnosis?
Yeah!
Okay, I'll tell you about Tommy Gnosis.
After my divorce, I scraped by
with babysitting gigs and odd jobs--
mostly the jobs we call "blow."
I had lost my job at the base PX,
and I had lost my gag reflex.
You do the math.
I sat for the baby of General Speck.
He was the commander of the nearby army fort,
and his other son was...
the artist formerly known as my buttboy.
We're talking about Tommy Speck at this time.
Tommy Speck was a -year-old
classic rock-loving,
"Dungeons and Dragons" obsessed,
Jesus freak
with a fish on his truck.
I found him incredibly...
hot.
I had recently returned
to my first love of music.
I had tried singing once, back in Berlin.
They threw tomatoes after the show...
I had a nice salad.
But newly motivated,
I got myself a cheap electric piano
and I found a couple of Korean sergeants' wives
who churned out a mean rhythm section.
Denial!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,
thank you... both of you.
That song was by Mr Kurt Cobain,
now that kid's got a future, huh?
How about Kwahng Yi on guitar, ladies and gentlemen!
Give it up!
Kwahng Yi!
Give it up, Kwahng.
You know, I'd like to take it down a little.
What do you say, girls?
This is actually the first song I've ever written.
And, it's written for a guy to sing.
I know a lot of you guys out there tonight,
a lot better than some of you
would care to admit.
And I know that a few of you
kick some karaoke ass.
So...
if you're looking for your big, breakout single,
you might wanna put a bid on this one tonight,
Iadies and gentlemen, because we are talking
to Phil Collins' people, right?
But then again, aren't we all?
You know the sun is in your eyes
And hurricanes and rain
And black and cloudy skies
You're running up and down that hill
You turn it on and off at will
There's nothing here
To thrill or bring you down
And if you've got no other choice
You know you can follow my voice
Through the dark turns and noise
Of this wicked little town
Ah-hh...
Ah-hh...
The fates are vicious
And they're cruel
You learned too late, you've used
Two wishes like a fool
And then you're someone you are not
And Junction City ain't the spot
Remember Mrs Lot when she turned around
And if you've got no other choice
You know you can follow my voice
Through the dark turns and noise
Of this wicked little town.
Your show...
that song...
My dad gave me this guitar to apologise
for being such a pathetic little dictator.
- He sang me songs-- - Classics.
The bands were new to me--
Boston, Kansas,
America, Europe, Asia.
Travel exhausts me.
Where are you from, Hedwig?
I told him my story.
I'm from East Berlin.
Have you...
have you accepted Jesus Christ
as your personal lord and savior?
No, but l...
I love his work.
No. What he was saving us from
was his fucking father.
What kind of god
creates Adam in his image
and then pulls Eve out of him to keep him company?
And then tells them not to eat
from the Tree of Knowledge?
He was so micromanaging.
So was Adam.
But Eve...
Eve just wanted to know shit.
She took a bite of the apple,
and she found out what was good
and what was evil.
Then she gave it to Adam,
so he would know,
because they were in love.
And that was good, they now knew.
Hedwig...
would you give me the apple?
The words falling from those lips.
And his eyes...
his irises were clear cylinders
of surprising depth...
and emptiness.
Only a few puddles of bluish pain
sloshed around inside.
Same blue as my eyes.
At the time,
Tommy's performance options were limited
to the occasional guitar mass.
I initiated a six-month curriculum of rock history...
Iyrics...
grooming...
and vocal training.
Do, do-do, do-do...
For his graduation present, I gave him his name:
Tommy Gnosis,
the Greek word for knowledge.
We collaborated.
Songs exploded out of us.
Teenage girls started showing up.
In three months, we were outgrossing
monster trucks in Wichita.
With that kind of money coming in,
I was able to devote myself entirely to our career.
We were very happy.
Honey, what is wrong?
My dad.
Fucking parents!
You're gonna blow my house down.
Honey, come here.
Just let it go, sweetie.
Let it go.
It's gone.
I feel it, it's gone.
I'm very much aware that we haven't kissed
in all the months we've been together.
In fact, he's maintained a near perfect ignorance
of the front of me.
Honey, sweetie, you're choking me.
Sweetie, let go. Take it easy.
You wanna work on that new song?
Hmm? The hit?
While I finish trimming your eyebrows?
Are you drunk?
I'm not drunk.
I'm enjoying a little...
a little rainwater and Everclear.
Look what you've done...
Shit!
And l...
Will always love you...
What do you think?
You think love lasts forever?
No, but this song does.
Don't knock a multi-platinum single.
When you are suddenly Mr Commercial?
I wish I could hit those notes.
She's been singing this song on a loop for three days.
Seriously, Tom, yeah.
I believe love is immortal.
Look what you've done...
Fuck!
I can't hear myself.
How is it immortal?
I don't know, perhaps because...
Iove creates something that...
was not there before.
What?
Like procreation?
Yeah, but not only.
What?
Like recreation.
What is that? Stop, you come in here crying
and you wanna recreate with me.
Maybe just...
creation.
Don't move.
Look what you've done.
And l...
Will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always...
Breathe through my mouth.
Love you.
Oh, God.
Oh, Hedwig...
When Eve was still inside Adam,
- they were in paradise. - That's right, honey.
When she was separated from him,
that's when paradise was lost.
So when she enters him again,
paradise will be regained.
However you want it, honey. Just kiss me while we do it.
What is that?
It's what I have to work with.
M-my mum's probably wondering where I am--
You're such a fucking sissy.
You are such a sissy!
What are you afraid of, huh?
What are you afraid of?
What!?
I love you, I love you!
Then love the front of me, honey!
Love the--
We are dry, we're spent--
we're flat broke.
- Who ordered the pizza? - Oh, pizza. Hallelujah.
Schlatko, what are you talking about?
We can't afford a pizza-- this is Manhattan! We can barely--
come on in-- we can barely afford this hole.
We had to cancel the gig tonight
because we can't fix the amps.
No, I don't have any more money. Schlatko, please!
I got it.
Yes you did, and it's stunning--
Fuck off, Phyllis.
I got the part.
I'm playing the role of "Angel"
in Broadway Cruise's Polynesian tour of "Rent,"
so fuck you too, Miss Hedwig!
I'm going to be a star. Big star.
There's nothing you can do about it!
Yeah, okay... I don't care.
I don't care if you have my passport.
Fuck you, I'm going to Guam!
And I want a divorce.
I want a divorce from you.
Mental cruelty, irreconcilable difference!
I'm exhausted.
Are you tired?
You look tired.
I think maybe we are just...
both very tired.
Hedwig...!
I don't think you need my help anymore.
THREE WEEKS LATER
Fire shot down from the sky in bolts
Like shining blades of a knife
And it ripped right through the flesh
Of the children
Of the sun and the moon and the earth
And some lndian god
Sewed the wound up into a hole
Pulled it round to our bellies
To remind us of the price we pay
And Osiris...
Wait, did you sing "the Cyrus"?
No, no--
You just sang "the Cyrus" on that recording.
The Cyrus, Cyrus. Cyrus the god.
There's no god called "Cyrus."
It's "Osiris," it's an Egyptian god.
- We read that book-- - We had two versions of that song.
- We had one version-- - No, we had two versions--
--and you fucked it up!
I know.
Maybe... maybe we could jam sometime?
Maybe we could.
...Was the same as the one down in mine
That's the pain
Cuts a straight line down through the heart
We called it love
So we wrapped our arms around each other
Trying to shove--
Tommy, what's your relationship
to Hedwig Robinson?
I never knew that woman before that night,
and I never knew she wasn't a woman.
Doll!
Thank you so much.
Hedwig and the Angry Inch!
I was born
On the other side
Of a town ripped in two
And no matter how hard I try
I end up black and blue
I rose from off of the doctor's slab
I lost a piece of my heart
Now everyone gets to take a stab
They cut me up into parts
I gave a piece to my mother
I gave a piece to my man
I gave a piece to the rock star
He took the good stuff...
And ran
I've got it all sewn up
A hardened razor cut, scar map across my body
And you can trace the lines
Through misery's designs that map across my body
A collage
I'm all sewn up
A montage
I'm all sewn up
A random pattern with a needle and thread
The overlapping way diseases are spread
To a tornado body with a hand grenade head
And the legs are two lovers entwined
Inside I'm hollowed out outside's a paper shroud
And all the rest's illusion
That there's a will and soul
That we can wrest control from chaos and confusion
A collage
I'm all sewn up
A montage
I'm all sewn up.
Wow!
Just a boy...
No cosmic lover...
This wicked town...
Something beautiful and new...
Forgive me for I did not know
'Cause I was just a boy
You were so much more
Than any god could ever plan
More than a woman or a man
Now I understand
How much I took from you
That when everything starts breaking down
You take the pieces off the ground
Show this wicked town
Something beautiful and new
You think that luck has left you there
But maybe there's nothing
Up in the sky but air
And there's no mystical design
No cosmic lover preassigned
There's nothing you can find
That cannot be found
'Cause with all the changes you've been through
It seems the stranger's always you
Alone again in some new wicked little town
Ah-hh
Ah-hh
Ah-hh
Ah-hh
And when you've got no other choice
You know you can follow my voice
Through the dark turns and noise
Of this wicked little town
It's a wicked
Little town
Goodbye, wicked...
Little town.
Rain falls hard
Burns dry
A dream or a song
That hits you so hard
Filling you up
Suddenly gone
Breathe
Feel
Love
Give
Free
Know in your soul
Like your blood knows the way
From your heart to your brain
Knows that you're whole
And you're shining like the brightest star
A transmission on the midnight radio
And you're spinning
Like a
Ballerina
Dancing to your rock and roll...
Here's to Patti
And Tina
And Yoko
Aretha
And Nona
And Nico
And me
And all the strange rock and rollers
You know you're doing alright
So hold on to each other
You gotta hold on tonight
And you're shining like the brightest star
A transmission on the midnight radio
And you're spinning
Your new s
All the misfits and the losers
Well, you know you're rock and rollers
Spinning to
Your rock and roll
Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands
Now! Now!
Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands.
When the earth was still flat
And clouds made of fire
And mountains stretched up to the sky
Sometimes higher
Folks roamed the earth
Like big rolling kegs
They had two sets of arms
They had two sets of legs
They had two faces peering out of one giant head
So they could watch all around them
As they talked while they read
And they never knew nothing of love
It was before
The origin of love
The origin of love
Now there was three sexes then
One that looked like two men glued up back-to-back
They called the children of the sun
And similar in shape and girth
Was the children of the Earth
They looked like two girls rolled up in one
And the children of the moon
Was like a fork shoved on a spoon
They was part sun, part earth part daughter, part son
Ah-hh... the origin of love.
Some girls, they got natural ease
They wear it any way they please
With their French flip curls
And perfumed magazines
Wear it up
Let it down
This is the best way that I've found
To be the best you've ever seen
I put on some makeup
Turn on the eight-track
I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm Miss Farrah Fawcett from TV
Until I wake up
And I turn back to myself
Shag, bi-level, bob, Dorothy Hamill do
Sausage curls chicken wings
It's all because of you
With your blow-dried feather back
Toni Home Wave, too
Flip, 'fro, frizz, flop
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you.
Okay, everybody.
I put on some makeup
Turn on the eight-track
I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm this punk rock star
Of stage and screen
And I ain't never
I'm never turning back
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do
Do-do-do do-do do-do.