Voila! Finally, the Hocus Pocus
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Sarah Jessica Parker
and Bette Midler witch movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Hocus Pocus. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Emily?
Emily!
Come, little children
I'll take thee away
- Into a land
- Emily!
Of enchantment
Come, little children
- The time's come to say
- Elijah! Elijah!
- Hast thou seen my sister Emily?
- Nay.
But look. They conjure.
Oh, God. The woods!
Emily!
- She's done for.
- Not yet!
You wake my father.
Summon the elders. Go!
Emily!
Come, child.
- Ahh.
- Oh, yes.
- Emily.
- Huh?
Oh, look.
Another glorious morning.
It makes me sick!
- Sisters!
- Yes, Winnie.
- We're coming, Winnie.
Right away. Sorry.
Must've been an imp.
My darling.
My little book.
We must continue with our spell now that
our little guest of honor has arrived.
Wake up. Wake up, darling.
Yes. Oh, come along, darling.
There you are.
- Mary!
- Right here, Winnie, right here.
- Sorry.
- Hello. Hello.
- I've noticed sister Sarah isn't helping.
- I lured the child here.
Leave her be.
She hath done her chore.
- You're right, I'm wrong.
- Mmm.
All right.
'Tis time!
There it is: '' Bring to a full rolling
bubble. Add two drops oil of boil.''
Ah-ah-ah. I got it. It's heavy.
You do that, I'll do this.
'' Mix blood of owl
with the herb that's red.
Turn three times,
pluck a hair from my head.
Add a dash of pox
and a dead man's toe.''
- Dead man's toe, and make it a fleshy one.
- Dead man's toe!
Deadman's toe
Add a deadman's toe
Deadman's toe
Deadman's t--
Dead, dead, dead, dead
Dead, dead, dead, dead
D-- Ooh!
- Uh-oh. Deadman's toe
- Fresh one.
- Deadman, deadman
- Deadman's toe, add a--
Will you two stop that!
I need to concentrate!
Sorry, uh--
She needs to concentrate.
''Green newt saliva.''
- I-I smell a child.
- Ehh, what dost thou call that?
- A child.
- Hmph!
Sisters, gather 'round.
- One thing more, and all is done.
- Yes?
Add a bit of thine own tongue.
Oh, Winnie, thou art divine.
'Tis ready for tasting.
One drop of this
and her life will be mine.
- I mean, ours.
- Yeah.
All right, girl.
Open up your mouth.
- No!
- A boy!
- Get him, you fools!
- I got him. I knew I smelled a boy!
I got him. Come on. Come on.
- Get away!
- Here you go.
- Get away from my potion!
- Ohh!
Ohh!
- Winnie!
- My potion!
Emily!
Hmm. Hmm.
Winnie. Winnie.
- Look.
- Ahh!
Sisters, prepare thyselves.
'Tis her life force.
The potion works!
Take my hands.
We will share her.
Oh, Winnie,
how generous of thee.
Sisters, behold!
I am beautiful!
Boys will love me!
We’re young!
Well, younger.
But it's a start!
Sisters!
Winifred, thou art
a mere sprig of a girl.
Liar! But I shall be
a sprig forever,
once I suck the life out of
all the children in Salem!
Let's brew another batch!
You hag! There are not enough
children in the world to make
thee young and beautiful!
- Hag.
- Uh-oh.
Sisters, did you hear
what he called you?
Whatever shall we do with him?
Let's barbecue and fillet him.
- Hang him on a hook
and let me play with him?
- No!
Book, darling, come to Mommy.
Yes. His punishment
must be more fulsome,
more lingering.
Dazzle me, my darling.
Let's see: amnesia, bunions,
chilblains, cholera.
- We can do better than that, I think.
- Yes.
Let's see what we have. Oh!
Ahh. Perfect.
As usual.
- His punishment shall not be to die,
- No?
but to live forever
with his guilt.
- As what, Winnie, as what?
- As what, Winnie, as what?
- Jump back!
Twist the bones
and bend the back.
Itch-it-a-cop-it-a,
Mel-a-ka-mys-tic-a.
Trim him of his baby fat.
Itch-it-a-cop-it-a,
Mel-a-ka-mys-tic-a.
Give him fur,
black as black.
- Just...
- Like...
- This.
- Open!
- Witches!
Daughters of darkness!
Open this door!
- Hide the child!
- The child!
- Come on!
Witches? Uh, there be
no witches here, sir!
Don't get your knickers
in a twist!
We are just three kindly
old spinster ladies!
Uh, spending a quiet
evening at home!
Sucking the lives
out of little children!
- Winifred Sanderson?
- Yes?
I will ask thee one final time.
- Yes?
- What hast thou done
with my son Thackery?
- Thackery. Mmm.
- Answer me!
- Well, I don't know.
- Speak!
Cat's got my tongue.
This is-- This is
terribly uncomfortable.
Sisters, sing.
Thrice I with mercury purify
and spit upon the tables
- Don't listen! Cover your ears!
- Listen to them not!
Ah! Fools! All of you!
My ungodly book speaks to you.
On All Hallows Eve
when the moon is round,
a virgin will summon us
from under the ground.
Ohh! Ohhh! We shall be back!
And the lives of all
the children shall be mine!
Away!
Away, beast!
Poor Thackery Binx.
Neither his father, his mother,
nor anyone else...
ever knew what became of him...
those OO years ago.
And so the Sanderson Sisters...
were hanged
by the Salem town folk.
Now, there are those who say
that on Halloween night...
a black cat still guards
the old Sanderson house,
warning off any who
might make the witches...
come back to life!
Gimme a break.
Aha. We seem to have
a sceptic in our midst.
Mr. Dennison,
would you care to share...
your California, laid-back,
tie-dyed point of view?
Okay.
Granted that, uh,
you guys here in Salem...
are all into these, uh, black
cats and witches and stuff.
- Stuff?
- Fine.
But everyone here knows that Halloween
was invented by the candy companies.
- Ohh!
- It's a conspiracy.
It just so happens that
Halloween is based...
on the ancient feast
called All Hallows Eve.
It's the one night of they ear
where the spirits of the dead
can return to Earth.
Well said, Allison.
Well, in case Jimi Hendrix shows
up tonight, here's my number.
Come on, let's go.
- Hey, wait up.
- Did he call you?
- Yeah.
- Well, what did he say?
Max. Fat chance.
- Allison.
- Hi.
Hi. Look, um, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to embarrass you in class.
You didn't.
- My name is Max Dennison.
- Yeah, I know.
You just moved here, huh?
- Yeah, last week.
- Must be a big change for you.
Yeah, that's for sure.
- You don't like it here?
- Oh, the leaves are great, but--
- I-I don't know.
just all this Halloween stuff.
- You don't believe in it?
What, do you mean, like,
the Sanderson Sisters? No way.
- Not even on Halloween?
- Especially not on Halloween.
Trick or treat.
- Hey, Christie, wait for me.
- No, I don't think so.
- I'm coming!
Halt! Who are you?
Max. I just moved here.
- From where?
- Los Angeles.
- L.A.?
- Ohh!
- Dude!
- Tubular.
I'm Jay. This is Ernie.
How many times I gotta tell you,
my name ain't Ernie no more.
- It's Ice.
- Oh.
- Ice.
This is Ice.
So, let's have a butt.
Ah, no, thanks. I don't smoke.
They're very health conscious
in Los Angeles.
You got any cash...
Hollywood?
- No.
- Gee.
We don't get any smokes from
you, we don't get any cash.
What am I supposed to do
with my afternoon?
Maybe you could learn to
breathe through your nose.
Whoa!
Check out
the new cross-trainers.
Cool. Let me try 'em on.
Ah-ah.
- Later, dude!
- See ya, Hollywood!
- Hey, Max! Hey, how was school?
- It sucked!
Hey, hey, hey,
watch your language.
I can't believe
you made me move here!
Huh. He wasn't wearing
any shoes.
Well, must be
some form of protest.
Hey, guys.
Oh, Allison.
You're so soft.
I just wanna--
- Boo!
- Dani!
I scared you, I scared you!
Ha ha ha-ha ha!
I'm Allison. Allison.
Kiss me. I'm Allison!
Mom and Dad told you
to stay out of my room!
Don't be such a crab!
Guess what. You're gonna
take me trick-or-treating.
- Not this year, Dani.
- Mom said you have to.
- Well, she can take you.
- She and Dad are going to
a party at Town Hall.
Well, you're eight!
Go by yourself.
No way! This is my first time!
I'll get lost!
Besides, it's a full moon
outside! The weirdos are out!
Come on, Max. Couldn't you
forget about being a cool
teenager just for one night?
Please? Come on.
We used to have so much fun together
trick-or-treating. Remember?
It'll be like old times.
No. The old days are dead.
It doesn't matter what you say.
You're taking me!
Wanna bet?
Mom!
Let's go. Hurry up!
The bewitching hour is about to begin!
Wow-- Aah! Please help me!
Aah!
-Isn't that a scary witch?
-Stop! You look very scary. Wow!
What about you, Max?
What are you supposed to be?
- A rap singer.
- Oh.
Well, your hat should be
on sideways, shouldn't it?
- Say '' Halloween''!
- Halloween!
- Halloween!
- Trick or treat!
- Trick or treat!
- Lighten up, Max.
- Can we go home now?
No.
Let’s just go this way.
Dani.
Ding-ding. Ding-ding.
- Stop and pay the toll, kid.
- Ten chocolate bars. No licor ice.
- Dump out your sack.
- Drop dead. Moron.
- Whoa!
- Ooh!
Yo, twerp.
- How'd you like to be hung
off that telephone pole?
- Yeah!
I’d just like to see you try,
because it just so happens
I've got my big brother with me.
- Oooh!
- Max!
- Hollywood!
- Oh, no!
So, you're doing
a little trick-or-treating.
- Ding-dong.
- Whoo!
- I'm just taking
my little sister around.
- Mmm.
That's nice.
- Whoa! I love the costume!
- Yeah!
But what are you supposed to be?
A New Kid On The Block?
For your information,
he's a Little Leaguer.
- Whoa!
- Ooh, tough guy!
- I'm a Little Leaguer!
Whoa!
Yeah!
- Wait a minute.
Everybody pays the toll.
- Stuff it, zitface.
- Why, you little--
- Hey!
Ice, here. Pig out.
Come on, Dani, let's go.
jerk.
And Hollywood,
the shoes fit great!
Yeah!
- Trick or treat!
- You should've punched him.
He would've killed me.
- At least you would've died like a man.
- Hey!
You just humiliated me in front
of half the guys at school!
So collect your candy
and get out of my life!
I wanna go home now!
- Trick or treat!
- Trick or treat!
- Hi. Hi. Ooh, there's plenty--
Dani, I'm sorry.
Trick or treat!
It's just that
I hate this place.
I miss all my friends.
I wanna go home!
Well, this is your home now,
so get used to it.
Yeah.
Trick or treat!
- Give me one more chance?
- Why should I?
Because I'm your brother.
Whoa. Check that out.
What?
Something just few
across the moon.
- Fooled ya.
- Let's go,jerkface.
- Trick or treat!
- Trick or treat!
- Wow!
- Wow!
Check out this house!
Ehh. Rich people.
They'd probably make us
drink cider and bob for apples.
- My accountant suggested penny stocks.
- Yeah.
- Trick or treat!
- Trick or treat!
-Jackpot!
- Ahh.
Whoa!
Max Dennison.
Allison!
Ohh. Allison, hmm?
I thought you weren't
into Halloween.
I'm not. I'm, I'm just taking
my little sister Dani around.
That's nice.
- I always do it.
- My parents made him.
Do you guys want some cider?
- No.
- Sure.
- Ah, yes.
- Oh, I had my eye on that.
Thanks.
So, um, how's the party?
Boring. It'sjust a bunch of my parents'
friends. They do this every year.
I've got candy duty.
- By the way, Dani, I love your costume.
- Thank you.
I really like yours too.
Of course, I couldn't wear anything
like that because I don't have any--
What do you call 'em, Max?
Yabos?
Max likes your yabos.
In fact, he loves 'em.
- I'm really into witches.
- Really? Me too.
We just learned about
those sisters in school.
Oh, you mean
the Sanderson Sisters?
I know all about them.
My mom used to run the museum.
There's a museum about 'em?
Yeah, but they shut it down because, um,
a lot of spooky things happened there.
Well, wh-why don't we go to
this old Sanderson house?
Well, come on,
make a believer out of me.
Okay, let me get changed.
They'll never miss me.
Max, I'm not going up there.
My friends at school told me all
about that place. It's weird!
Dani, this is the girl
of my dreams.
- So? Take her to the movies
like a normal person.
- Dani!
Look,just--just do
this one thing for me,
and I'll do anything you say.
Please?
- Please? Please?
- Oh-- Okay. Okay.
Next year we go trick-or-treating
as Wendy and Peter Pan.
With tights, or it's no deal.
Okay, okay. Deal. Deal. Fine.
Legend has it that the bones
of a hundred children were
buried within these walls.
Oh, great.
Ecch.
- I can't see a thing.
- Ooh.
Well, there's a light switch
around here somewhere.
Found a lighter.
Whoa!
Here's the original cauldron.
And upstairs
is where they slept.
Oh, and be careful where you
step. The foors are old.
''This is the spell book
of Winifred Sanderson.
It was given to her
by the devil himself.
The book is bound
in human skin...
and contains the recipes for her
most powerful and evil spells.''
I get the picture.
What's that?
Oh. It's the black fame candle.
Hmm. Black fame candle.
'' Made from the fat of a hangman.
Legend says that on a full moon it
will raise the spirits of the dead...
when lit by a virgin
on Halloween night.''
Hmm.
So let's light the sucker
and meet the old broads.
- Will you do the honors?
- No, thanks.
Well--
- Stupid cat!
- Okay, Max, you've had your fun.
It's time to go.
Come on, Allison.
Max, she's right. Let's go.
Oh, come on. It's just
a bunch of hocus pocus.
Max, I'm not kidding this time.
It's time to go!
Max, no!
Uh-oh.
What happened?
A virgin... lit the candle.
We are home!
Oh, sweet revenge!
Do you see, sisters?
My curse worked perfectly!
That's because thou art perfect.
I knew I left this cauldron on.
Didn't I tell you? Oh, I knew it.
My lucky rat tail!
just where I left it!
But who lit
the black fame candle? Hmm.
Wake up. Wake up, sleepyhead.
Oh, I've missed you.
Did you miss me too?
Come on, now,
we've got work to do.
- Winnie.
- Yes?
I smell children.
Sic 'em!
- It's a little girl.
- Mmm!
Seven. Maybe eight.
And a half.
Ooh, let us play with her!
Come, little children
I'll take thee away
- In--
- Come out, my dear.
We will not harm thee.
We love children!
I thought thou would
never come, sisters.
Greetings, little one.
- 'Twas I who brought you back.
- Imagine.
Such a pretty little...
child.
Look at her. And she's
so well fed, isn't she?
Plump. Plump!
Shis-ka-baby.
Tell me, dumpling,
what is the year?
.
Sisters, we have been gone
OO years.
Well, Winnie,
how time fies, huh?
When you're dead!
It's been great fun, but I--
I guess I'd better be going.
Oh, stay for supper.
I'm-- I'm-- I'm not hungry.
Oh, but we are.
- Soup!
- Hey!
- Let go of my little sister.
- Roast him, Winnie.
No, let me.
Let me play with him.
You. There.
I haven't lost my touch,
sisters. See?
- Winnie, Winnie--
- Max!
- Hello. Good-bye.
- Hello, hello.
Max!
- Mary!
- Well, hello--
- Oh, my, my, my, my, my.
- Don't!
Okay!
- You leave my brother alone!
- Ohh!
- Max!
- I'll get you!
- Get him! Get this ani--
Get this beast off me!
- Max, come on. Let's go!
Get out! Go, go, go!
Get it off. Ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha!
- Hey!
- Hmm?
You've messed with the
great and powerful Max...
and now must suffer
the consequences.
I summon the burning rain
of death.
- Burning what?
- Burning rain of death.
- Burning rain of death.
He makes fire in his hand.
Ohh! Ohh! The burning
rain of death! Ohh! Ohh!
Come on, you idiots!
Get under shelter!
Come on, you fools!
Nice going, Max!
- It's all your fault!
- You can talk.
- Yeah, no kidding.
Now, get the spell book.
- You idiots!
Come on, move it!
N-N-No, it's not!
It's the burning rain of death!
Sic 'em! Aah! My book!
Don't! He's going for my book!
Ohhh!
- My book!
- He's got the book!
- The book!
Max! Max, over here!
- Come on! Come on!
- This way!
Ohh! Confound it!
- Winnie!
- We are dead!
- Shut up!
- It is but water!
- Huh?
- Most refreshing.
- Ahh. It is.
- You idiot!
- Ahhh!
- The boy has tricked us!
- And he's stolen the book!
- Ahhh!
- After him!
- Ohh!
- 'Tis a b-black river.
- Perhaps it is not too deep.
- 'Tis firm!
- Careful, Winnie.
- Hmm. Mmm.
- 'Tis firm as stone.
- Why-- Why, it's a road!
- Firm asstone
- Sisters!
- Firm asstone
My book!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Come on! This is a graveyard!
It's hallowed ground.
Witches can't set foot here.
- He talks.
- Oh.
Follow me!
Over here.
I want to show you something.
Give you an idea of exactly
what we're dealing with.
''William Butcherson,
lost soul''?
Billy Butcherson
was Winifred's lover,
but she found him sporting
with her sister Sarah,
so she poisoned him and sewed
his mouth shut with a dull needle...
so he couldn't tell her
secrets even in death.
- Winifred always was the jealous type.
- You're Thackery Binx.
- Yes.
- Huh. So the legends are true.
Well, come along. I want
to show you something else.
Teenagers again.
I hate Halloween.
Man, this is the worst night of
the year. You wanna give me a hand?
- Who-- Who-- Who-- Who are they?
- Boys?
Witch hunters. Observe.
They wear black robes and carry
axes to chop the wood to burn us.
- Hold me.
- What a pretty spider.
Sisters! Let me make
one thing perfectly clear.
The magic
that brought us back...
only works tonight,
on All Hallows Eve.
When the sun comes up,
we are dust.
- Dust?
- Toast!
Toast?
- Pudding!
- Aaah!
Fortunately the potion I brewed
the night we were hanged...
will keep us alive
and young forever.
Unfortunately the recipe for
that potion is in my spell book,
and the little wretches
have stolen it!
Therefore, it stands to reason,
does it not, sisters dear,
that we must find the book,
brew the potion...
and suck the lives out of the children
of Salem before sunrise.
Otherwise, it's curtains!
We evaporate! We cease to exist!
Dost thou comprehend?
You explained it
beautifully, Winnie.
The way you sort of started out
with the adventure part...
- and then you sort of slowly--
- Explained what?
- Come! We fy!
- Fly!
Because of me my little
sister's life was stolen.
For years I waited for my life to end
so I could be reunited with my family.
But Winifred's curse
of immortality kept me alive.
Then one day I figured out
what to do with my eternal life.
Now, I'd failed Emily,
but I wouldn't fail again.
When Winifred and her sisters returned,
I'd be there to stop them.
So for three centuries I've guarded
the house on All Hallows Night,
when I knew some airhead virgin
might light that candle.
- Nice going, airhead.
- Hey, look, I'm sorry, okay?
We're talking about three ancient hags
versus the Oth century.
- How bad can it be?
- Bad.
- Stay out of there!
- Why?
It holds Winifred's most dangerous
spells. She must not get it.
Well, let's torch the sucker.
It's protected by magic.
It's just a bunch
of hocus pocus!
- Sarah!
- Mmm?
Mary.
- Max!
- Brave little virgin
who lit the candle.
- I'll be thy friend.
- Hey, take a hike!
Ooh! Ouch!
- Book!
- Huh?
- Come to Mommy!
- 'Fraid not!
Thackery Binx,
thou mangy feline!
- Still alive?
- And waiting for you!
Ohh! Thou hast waited
in vain!
And thou will fail
to save thy friends,
just as thou failed
to save thy sister!
Grab the book!
- They can't touch us here, right?
- Well, they can't.
I don't like the way
you said that.
Unfaithful lover
long since dead,
deep asleep in thy wormy bed,
wiggle thy toes,
open thine eyes,
twist thy fingers
toward the sky.
Life is sweet.
Be not too shy.
On thy feet, so sayeth I!
Max! Max!
Huh?
Hi. Hello, Billy.
Catch those children!
Get up!
Get up! Get out of that ditch!
Faster!
In here!
Yes!
- Are you okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- What is this place, Binx?
- It's the old Salem crypt.
- Here, take the book.
- It connects to the sewer
and up to the street.
- Oh. Uh, charming.
- Uh, don't look up, Dani.
- Don't worry. I won't.
Relax. I've hunted mice
down here for years.
- Mice?
- Oh, God.
- Oh, God. Just great.
Oh, cheese and crust!
He's lost his head!
Ha! Damn that Thackery Binx!
Damn him!
Billy, which way did they go?
Aaah!
Billy, listen to me.
Follow those children,
you maggot museum, and get my book!
Then come find us!
We'll be ready for them!
Quit staring at me!
Get moving down that hole!
- Damn, damn, double damn!
- Oh!
Broom, ho!
This way!
- Broom, ho.
- Ahh.
They're here.
I know they're here.
- I know they're here,
but where are they?
- Winnie, look.
- Sniff them out, Mary.
- Uh, they're, they're, uh--
- Oh, I can't. They've gone too far.
- Aah!
- I've lost them!
- Aaah!
- Aah!
I'll have your guts for garters, girl!
Confound you!
Very well.
We must outwit them.
- When Billy the butcher
gets here with my book,
- Book!
- we shall be ready for them!
- Ready!
- Sarah!
- Sarah!
- Let us start collecting children.
- Why?
Because, you great buffoon,
we want to live forever,
not just until tomorrow.
The more children's lives we snatch,
the longer we shall live!
- Right! Let us fy!
- Fly!
- Wait!
Sisters. I have an idea.
Since this promises to be a most
dire and stressful evening,
I suggest we form
a calming circle.
- I am calm!
- Oh, sister.
Thou art not being honest
with thyself, are we? Huh? Huh?
Come on. Come on.
Give me a smile.
Come along. Not much further.
Let's see. Which way, which way.
I can't remember. Oh! Look, down here!
Think soothing thoughts.
- Rabid bats.
- Yum!
Black death.
Mummy's scorpion pie.
- Mother.
- Mother.
- Mother.
Bubble, bubble, I'm in trouble.
Tell me, friend,
what is this contraption?
I call it... a bus.
- A bus.
- A bus?
- And its purpose?
- To convey gorgeous creatures
such as yourselves...
to your most forbidden desires.
Well, fancy,
we desire...
children.
Hey, that may take me a couple of tries,
but I don't think that'd be a problem.
- Oh.
- Hop on up.
- Marvellous!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm!
I need one of those instant ice packs.
You girls are giving me a fever! Yeow!
- Go, Binx!
- Come here, you guys! This way!
Hurry! Come on!
Up the ladder!
- Come on!
- Careful.
Hey, buttercup, anybody ever tell you
you're very easy on the eyes?
Binx! Look out!
Whoa! Speed bump!
- Binx! Ohh!
- Speed bump!
Oh, my God.
- No.
- It's all my fault.
- Max, it's not your fault.
- Ohh.
- Look!
- Max!
I hate it when that happens.
Well.
I told you, I can't die.
Dani, you all right?
- Yeah!
- Okay, then, let's go!
Stop!
- I smell children.
- Marvelous.
Hey, hey, cupcake, don't I get
your phone number? Your area code?
- You want my route schedule?
- Oh, thou wouldst hate me
in the morning.
- No, I wouldn’t.
- Oh, believe me, thou wouldst.
Party pooper.
What is this, sisters?
Odds bodkins.
Farewell, mortal bus boy.
- Oh, my.
- What are those? What's that?
- Um--
- What is that?
- Uh, hobgoblins.
- Oh.
Ohh! Oh.
Bless you.
- Enough!
- Uh, sisters, I'm very confused.
I-- I smell children,
but I-- I don't see children.
I-- I've lost my power!
- Enough, enough, enough!
- Sorry.
- We are witches. We are evil!
- Evil.
What would Mother say
if she could see us like this?
Oh.
- Mother.
- Mother.
- Master!
- Master!
- Master! Ohh!
- Oh, my!
- He will help us!
- What kind of costumes are these?
- Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
It's the Sanderson Sisters,
right?
-At your service.
-Yes, yes.
-Haven't seen you for centuries.
But what the heck? Why don't you come
in? Come in to the non-smoking section.
- Come on, come on, right this way.
- Oh, I can't believe it's him!
Don't step on my tail!
- Officer! Officer!
- Officer, we need your help.
What's the problem?
- Tell him.
- Go ahead.
Well, um--
Well, you see, for--
I just, I just moved here.
W-Well, you see, i-it's like this.
I-- I, um--
I broke into the old Sanderson
house and I brought the witches
back from the dead.
See, I even have the book.
- You lit the black fame candle?
- Yeah.
Come on. Okay, let's
get on the sidewalk.
And he's a virgin.
Come here.
- Are you a virgin?
- Yeah.
Really.
Look, I'll get it tattooed
on my forehead, okay?
- Officer, this is not a prank.
- Really!
Hey! I put my life on the line
to protect this community,
and you punks pull this?
- Get outta here.
- Come on, Dani.
And take that cat with ya.
- What's so funny, Eddie?
- Ahh,just a bunch of kids
pullin' my chain.
They thought I was a real cop.
I want you to meet
the little woman.
- He has a little woman.
- Sounds tasty.
- Today--
-Swimmingpool, swimmingpool--
- Petunia face.
- What?
Would you stop clicking?
We have company!
- I don't care who's here.
I'm sick and tired...
- Sisters.
- of these dressing-up games.
- Satan has married Medusa.
See the snakes in her hair?
- I don't wanna play in this.
I don't wanna play.
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh!
My three favorite witches.
Aren’t you broads a little old
to be trick-or-treating?
- We'll be younger in the morning.
- Yes.
- Yeah, sure. Me too.
- I went out with him Valentine's Day.
Excuse me.
Wow! Neat brooms!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Forget the kids.
I'm serving you from my cauldron.
- Winnie!
- Yes?
- For you.
Master, I plague thee.
What about the book?
We'll get to the book later.
Mary, go long!
Yeah! You could be
a tight end!
Master, would thou
dance with me?
Behold!
A torture chamber.
Honey, I lost five pounds
according to the bathroom--
- Now there's a Stain master carpet...
- Master.
that handles foot traffic
like never before.
Okay, that's it. Party's over!
Get out of my house!
Get outta here! Get outta my house!
- Sorry.
- Calm down, puddin' face.
- Shove it, Satan.
- Ohh.
- Thou should not speak to
Master in such a manner.
- Mm-mmm.
- They call me Master.
- Wait'll you see what
I'm gonna call ya.
Now, tart face, take your Clark bars
and get out of my house!
Make us!
- Yeah!
- Honey bunch.
Ralph! Sic 'em!
Winnie! Winnie!
- My broom!
- My broom!
- My broom!
Purloined! Curses!
Sisters, look. 'Tis the
chocolate-covered finger
of a man named Clark.
Mmm. Ooh! Ugh!
It's candy. Why would
the master give us candy?
- Because he is not our master.
- He isn't?
- And these are not hobgoblins.
- Ohh!
- See?
- Ohh!
- Cool it, man!
A child! Ohh!
- Weirdos!
- Weirdos!
- Sisters!
- Mmm.
- All Hallows Eve has become
a night of frolic...
- Oh.
- where children wear costumes
and run amok!
- Oh!
Amok! Amok, amok,
amok, amok, amok--
- Oh, Winnie, just one child.
- No!
Ah, great. How are we ever gonna
find Mom and Dad in this place?
Hi, hi, hi. Hi.
Owww! Whoo!
Those fingers through my hair
Thatsly ''come hit her''stare
That strips my conscience bare
It's witchcraft
- I'm gonna look for Mom.
- Baby!
-And I got no defense for it
- I can't see a thing!
- Whoo! Waah! Whoo!
- The heat is too intense for it
What good would
common sense for it do
- Aaah!
- It's witchcraft
- Oh. Dad!
- It's not Dad. It's '' Dadcula.''
Oh, my goodness. Who must this
charming young blood donor be?
Dad! Something terrible
happened.
- Dani? What's wrong? Wh-Wh--
- No, Dani's fine.
Good. Excuse me. Come here.
Mom?
- Mom?
- Hmm?
What are you supposed to be?
Madonna.
Well, you know--
Well, obviously. Don't ya think?
Shoot, Max. Look,
whatever it is, just tell me.
- Come here.
- What?
This cat here, Binx, right?
He can talk.
My brother's a virgin:
he lit the black fame candle.
The witches are back from the dead
and they're after us. We need help.
How much candy
have you had, honey?
Mom, I haven't O.D.'d.
I haven't even had a piece.
They're real witches, they can
fy, and they're gonna eat all
the kids in Salem. They're real!
All right, let's just
find your father.
It's such an ancient pitch
But one I wouldn't switch
- 'Cause there's non icer witch
- Slither about.
- Find them!
- Oh, no, I'll never switch
- Ohh! Aah!
- 'Cause there's non icer witch
Than you
I put a spell on you
And now you're mine
- Max, I love you, but enough is enough.
- Come on, Dad, if I was
gonna pull your chain--
- Now, just calm down.
- But they're gonna come--
- Don't you see how crazy this sounds?
- Max! Max!
- Max, really--
- They're here! They're here!
- I ain't gonna take none
of your runnin' 'round
- I ain't gonna take none
of your puttin'me down
- Did you find them?
- Sorry.
- Get out there and find them.
- Nobody's here, sweetheart.
- Here. Hold this.
- Sweetheart, nobody's here.
- Wait. Max. Max!
- Where are you going?
- i put a spell on you
- Sarah!
-And now you're mine
- Bye.
- Get over here! Did you find them?
- Find who?
I ain't lyin'
No, I ain't lyin'
- Hey, cut the music! Cut the music!
- Hey, man, I'm in the middle of a song!
It's an emergency!
Only for a minute!
Will everybody listen up,
please?
- No. You’re just getting
everybody worked up.
- Well, listen to him.
Listen to him. He's fine!
- Your kids are in danger.
- What do you mean?
OO years ago the Sanderson
Sisters bewitched people.
Now they've returned
from their grave.
Hey, man, I'm serious!
It's not a joke!
- All right, this has gone far enough.
- No, wait a minute.
I know this sounds dumb,
but they're here tonight.
They're right over there!
- Aah!
- Ohh.
- Wow.
- Thank you, Max,
for that marvelous introduction.
i put a spell on you
And now you're mine
You can't stop
the things I do
- I ain't lyin'
- No! No!
- Ohh
- Don't listen to them!
Been OOyears
Right down to the day
Now the witch is back
And there's hell to pay
i put a spell on you
- Good joke. Happy Halloween.
Thanks a lot.
- No, man, I'm serious!
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
You had, you had your fun.
- You gotta believe me! I'm not kidding!
And now you're mine
All right. Yeah, gear up.
Let's go, guys.
Hello, Salem!
My name's Winifred!
What's yours?
i put a spell on you
-And now you're gone
- Gone, gone, gone, so long
My whammy fell on you
-And it was strong
-So strong, so strong, so strong
Your wretched little lives
have all been cursed
'Cause of all the witches
working I'm the worst
i put a spell on you
-And now you're mine
- Binx, where are you?
Watch out, watch out
Watch out, watch out
If you don't believe
you'd better get superstitious
-Ask my sisters
- Mom! Dad! Thank God!
- Hey, Max, great show.
- Cover your ears!
- Cover our ears!
- i put a spell on you
What? Ho-ho! Uh-oh!
- i put a spell on you
- Oh, I wish we had a camera.
Ah-say-into-pie
Oppa-maybe-uppen-die
Ah-say-into-pie
Oppa-maybe-uppen-die
- In-kama-koray-ah-ma
- In-kama-koray-ah-ma
- Hey
- Hey!
- High
- High!
-Say
- Say!
- Bye
- Bye!
Bye
Bye-bye
Dance! Dance!
Dance until you die!
Oh, Binx, come on!
- This is really bad!
- Max, come on! Calm down!
Look, I want you to take Dani
back to your house and don't
let her out of your sight!
Max, I'm not leaving you.
Okay, guys, who's goin'
for the jacuzzi?
Yeah, Angelo, too bad.
- Uh-oh.
- Get down!
- I smell--
- Yes?
- Winnie, I smell--
- Yes? Yes?
I smell scrod.
Scrod. You know.
It's a bottom dweller.
You cook it sometimes with lovely
bread crumbs, little bit of margarine.
Or oil. Olive oil is good.
But you have to cook it at O degrees
or else it tastes really-- Aah!
Sarah. Sarah!
I have an idea.
- What is this place?
- Mmm, it reeks of children.
It is a prison for children.
Welcome to High School Hell.
I'm your host,
Boris Karloff Jr.
This way. I know I'm right.
It's time to meet
our three contestants:
Sarah, Mary
and Winifred Sanderson.
Read any good spellbooks
lately?
Hag tracks!
Get him!
Hello. Welcome to the library.
I would like a book.
Shh! Shh! Shh!
What kind of book
are you looking for?
We've got them!
We've got them, we've got them!
- What? Hello.
- I am looking for a children's book
- Yes?
- Wretches!
- It's warm in here.
Fire. Fire!
Aah! It's hot! It's hot!
Farewell, Winifred Sanderson!
Ha ha!
- Yes! Yay!
- Burn! Burn! All right!
Whoo! Whoo!
Yeah! All right!
- Yes!
- Yes!
Yes!
We did it, Binx.
We stopped them.
I've wanted to do that for OO
years, since they took Emily.
You really miss her, don’t you?
Man, you can't keep blaming yourself
for that. That happened so long ago.
Take good care of Dani, Max.
You'll never know how precious
she is until you lose her.
Hey, Binx! Where do you
think you’re goin'?
You're a Dennison now, buddy.
One of us.
Come on, Binx, let's go home.
Home.
Home.
Mom? Dad?
We got a new cat! Mom?
Well, I guess they're
still partying. Come on in.
You're my kitty now.
You'll have milk and tuna fish every
day, and you'll only hunt mice for fun.
You're going to turn me into
one of those fat, useless,
contented house cats.
You betcha.
- Yeah.
- You know, Binx,
I'll always take care of you.
My children will
take care of you too.
And then their children after
that, and theirs after that,
forever and ever...
and ever.
Hello. I want my book.
- You wanna smash some pumpkins?
- Nah.
Well, then you wanna look in
windows and watch babes undress?
It's :OO.
They're undressed already.
- Well, then you think of something!
- I don't feel so good.
- It's 'cause you're eatin'
too much candy, ya oinker!
- Seek them out, Mary.
- Seek them out.
- Okay, Winnie.
- Yes!
- Yo, witch. Get your face off my shoe.
- Uhh, wrong boy.
- Natch!
- Ohh, sorry, Winnie.
Why, why, why was I cursed
with such idiot sisters?
-Just lucky, I guess.
- Ohh!
Oh, man, how come it's always
the ugly chicks that stay out late?
Chicks?
We haven't much time left!
We shall have to-- We shall have
to make the potion from memory!
Hey! Let us outta here!
- Yeah, we're really sorry.
- We think you’re really cute.
- Hush!
- Aaah!
- I've got to think.
- Ohh.
- Please!
- Remember. Remember.
- Remember, Winnie, remember.
- Remember, Winnie, remember.
- Remember, Winnie, remember.
- Remember, Winnie, remember.
- Now I remember!
- I was here.
- Yes.
- The book was there.
- Uh--
You, Mary, you were here. Sarah, you
were in the back, dancing idiotically.
- And the book said--
- Yes?
- I remember it like it was yesterday.
- Yes?
- Oil of boil...
- Mmm?
- and a dead man's nose.
- Dead man's toes!
- She's trying to concentrate!
- No.
- Go! Go, go, go!
- His thumbs.
- Thumbs? Could be thumbs.
- Or was it his gums?
- I don't know. Thumbs, gums.
- Or dead man's buns.
- Dead man's buns. Buns.
- Sounds like--
- Mums?
- Mums.
- Funs.
- Funs.
- Chungs?
- Chungs? Mmm!
- It's chungs!
- Chungs?
- Dead man's chungs!
There is no such thing
as chungs.
- You're right.
- I am? I'm right?
It's no use. I don't
remember the ingredients.
I-- I-- I've got to
have my book!
- Leave him alone!
- Aaah! I'm gonna puke!
Book!
Come home
or make thyself known!
- Hi.
- Hi.
Oh, my God. It's :OO.
My parents are gonna kill me.
- I should go.
- I wish you could stay.
Poor Binx.
Yeah. Poor Binx.
- We owe him a lot.
- Yeah.
Look, cou-- could we find
some kind of way to help him?
The book.
The witches used it to put
the spell on him.
Maybe there's a way in here
to take it off.
Mmm, I don't know.
Binx told us not to open it.
Well, the witches are dead.
What harm could it do?
Well, just be careful.
I will.
- Hold my hand.
- All right.
Nothing weird so far.
Winnie, oh, do you wanna hit me?
Would that cheer you up?
- Okay. There you go.
- This is the end.
- No.
- I feel it.
- Okay.
We are doomed. I feel
the icy breath of death upon my neck.
- Mary?
- What?
- Take me to the window.
- This one?
- I wish to say good-bye.
Yes, Winnie.
- Good-bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Good-bye, cruel world.
- Bye-bye, cruel world.
- Good-bye to life.
- Bye-bye, life.
- Good-bye, good-bye.
- Good-bye-bye.
- Good-bye to all that.
- To all that.
- Sister! Observe!
- What?
- They've opened it!
Ha ha! Just when our time
was running out!
- Come! We fy!
- We fy! On what do we fy?
Ahh! Into the night! Ahh!
Winnie?
Broom, ho!
Ohh!
Oh, listen to this.
Only a circle of salt can protect
thy victims from thy power.
- We were just trying to help you.
- Well, don't!
Nothing good can come
from this book. You got it?
- Maybe we should go now.
- Okay.
Mom? Dad?
Still not home. That's weird.
Must be having a great time.
I don't know.
Something's not right.
I'd feel a lot safer walking
home if we had some salt.
Salt.
Ahh!
What's it say?
Uh, it says form a circle of
salt to protect from zombies,
witches and old boyfriends.
Yeah? And what about
new boyfriends?
Dani.
Dani!
Max, the book is gone.
I'm telling you,
something's weird.
- Dani, wake up.
- Trick or treat!
- Looking for this?
- Or this?
Boy down.
Salt! Ha!
- What a clever little white witch.
- Yeah!
But it will not save
thy friends. No.
Come, sisters. The candle's
magic is almost spent.
- Dawn approaches.
- Bye-bye.
Max!
Put me down! Let me go!
Aaah! Put me down!
Dani? Dani?
Dani!
Max. Max.
- Ohh.
- Get up.
- Ohh.
- Are you okay?
- Ohh.
- Come on, get up.
- Where's Dani?
Use thy voice, Sarah!
Fill the sky!
Bring the little brats to die!
Come, little children
I'll take thee away
Into a land
Of enchantment
Come, little children
The time's come to play
Here in my garden
Of magic
- Dani!
- Dani!
Hey! Hey, you guys!
Don't listen to her!
Hey! Up here!
- Don't listen to her!
- Max! Max, I've figured it out.
- What?
- Winifred said...
the candle's magic
will soon be spent...
and dawn approaches.
The black fame candle only brought
them back for this one Halloween night.
And unless they can steal
the lives of children,
when the sun comes up
they're dust.
Yeah, but how can we
make the sun come up?
They've got Dani.
We need a miracle.
The children are coming.
- Ohh! Well done, sister Sarah.
- Mmm! Good, good, good, good!
Let me out of here!
Hurry, okay? Oh, watch out!
Come on! Get out of the way!
Move it!
- Aaah! I'm gonna ralph.
- Open up!
No more candy, please!
Oww! Oww!
- Soon the lives of all thy
little friends will be mine,
- Oww! Oww!
and I shall be young
and beautiful again forever.
It doesn't matter how young or old
you are! You sold your soul!
You're the ugliest thing that's
ever lived, and you know it!
You die first.
- No!
- Ahh! 'Tis ready!
- Pry open her mouth.
- Gladly.
- Dani, don't drink it!
- Shut up, you!
- Don't drink it, Dani!
- Come on, open your mouth.
- Open up--
- Aah!
- Aah! She bit me!
She bit me, Winnie!
Prepare to die!
- Again.
- You!
- You have no powers here, you fool!
- Hollywood!
- Maybe not!
- Come here!
- But there's a power
greater than your magic,
- and that's knowledge!
- Hey, come on, man!
- And there's one thing that
I know that you don't!
- Ohh!
And what is that, dude?
Daylight savings time.
'' Daylight savings time.''
- Winnie!
- Aaah!
- Aaah!
The sun! No!
- Max! Get me out of here!
- The sun!
It hurts!
- Don't worry, Binx!
I've got you! I'm here!
- Aah! Hot! Hot cat! Hot cat!
Hey! Let me outta here!
Help! Help! Hey! Hollywood!
Help us out here.
- Tubular.
- Aaah! Aaah!
- Yes!
- Let me outta here, man!
- Come on, Dani, let's go!
- Let me outta here, man!
Max! I wanna see her
turn to dust!
Pump it!
Allison!
I am alive!
Damn that boy.
He's tricked us again.
- Oh, you're right. You're always right.
I don't know how you do it--
- It's my curse!
- That, and you two. Get off me,
you thundering oafs!
- Ohh! Sorry.
Look! The candle's almost out,
and my potion--
My beautiful potion.
Look! There's just
enough left for one child.
Get the vial.
Come on! Move it!
Oh, joy! What luck!
This is perfect for that
little towheaded brat.
- We have a child.
- Him!
- Him!
And look, Winnie, more children
are arriving. Come on in.
Winnie. Winnie, we will make more potion
because, Winnie, we have the book!
We haven't the time!
Besides, I want to get that little
rat-faced kid that called me--
- Oh! Oh, don't say it.
Don't even say it.
- Ugly?
- Oh, honey. I know.
- She really hurt my feelings.
- She's jealous.
- She doesn't even know me!
- I know. I know. And she said--
- You know, I always wanted a child.
- I know.
- And now I think I'll have one.
- Mm-hmm?
On toast!
- Step on it, Max!
- Are they following us?
- No.
- Good.
Pull over! Let me see
your driver's permit.
Resisting arrest?
Aah! Whoa!
- Yee-hah!
- Way to go!
- Whoo-hoo!
Hurry! Hurry!
- Run!
- Go, go, go, go, go!
Come on! Let's get a move on!
- Max!
- No, wait, Dani!
Run, Dani, run! Come on!
Billy! Billy, listen to me!
Kill him if you must!
just bring me that child, that Dani!
And put some wiggle in it,
you putrid, festering sore!
Don't dawdle! Come along now!
Come along now! Kill him!
Do it now!
Wench! Trollop!
You bucktoothed,
mop-riding firefy from hell!
- Aaah!
- I've waited centuries to say that.
Well, say what you want.
just don't breathe on me.
Billy! I killed you once!
I shall kill you again,
you maggoty malfeasance!
Hang on to your head!
- Max, run!
- Max, come on, move!
Move out of the way!
Wait, wait! Wait! Wait!
No! No. No.
He's a good zombie. Come on.
Come on, then. We'll have to hold them
out until dawn. It's our only hope.
Hi, Billy.
- You'll be safe in here.
- Thank you.
- You okay, Dani?
- Yeah, fine.
- All right then.
- Ooh.
- In we go. Ahh.
Here they come!
Billy, grab Dani!
Max, Allison, spread out!
For the last time,
prepare to meet thy doom!
You little pest.
I've had enough of you.
- Billy!
- Go to hell!
Oh, I've been there, thank you.
I found it quite lovely.
- Ohh! Aah!
- Huh?
- Billy, I think you dropped this.
- Uh-huh.
Oh, God.
Max!
Dani!
Bye-bye, big brother!
- All right, you little trollimog.
- Aaah!
Hold on, Dani!
This'll teach ya
to call people ugly!
Open your mouth!
Open your mouth, I say!
Ohh! Confound you!
- Give me that vial!
- Put her down or I'll smash it!
- Aaah!
- Smash it and she dies!
- Max!
- No!
- Max, no!
- Ohh!
Now you have no choice!
You have to take me.
What a fool to give up
thy life for thy sister's.
- Go!
- Aaah!
- Dani!
- Dani!
- Oh, Billy!
- Billy!
- Are you okay? Ohh!
- Put him down!
- Boy!
- Max!
Max!
Hallowed ground!
Hallowed ground!
- Sisters!
- Winnie, I'm coming!
Pull! Pull! Harder! Harder!
Come on! Come on!
I'm going to teach you a lesson
you'll never forget!
Sarah!
Help!
- Here!
- Pull!
- Harder!
Hold on, Max! Hold on!
Let go now!
Book!
Winnie!
Good-bye.
Uh-oh.
Ooh. Bye-bye.
Huh?
Oh, yeah.
Ha! Max!
Max? Are you okay?
Yeah, I think so.
- You saved my life.
- Well, I had to. I'm your big brother.
- I love you, jerkface.
- I love you too.
Come on.
Bye, Billy. Have a nice sleep.
- Hey, Billy.
- Huh?
Thanks.
Where's Binx?
Binx? Binx.
Binx!
- He's gone. He's gone, Dani.
- But he can't die, remember?
Wake up, Binx! Binx, wake up!
Like last time!
Dani. Come on.
Please don't be sad for me.
- Binx? Is that you?
- Yeah.
The witches are dead.
My soul's finally free.
You freed me, Dani. thank you.
Hey, Max, thanks for
lighting the candle.
Thackery! Thackery Binx!
It's Emily.
I shall always be with you.
Thackery Binx,
what took thee so long?
I'm sorry, Emily.
I had to wait OO years for
a virgin to light a candle.
i put a spell on you
i put a spell on you
- I thought L.A. was a party town.
- Yeah!
- Whoo.
- Wow!
Row, row, row your boat
- Gently down the stream
- Row, row, row your boat
- Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
- Gently down the stream
- Life is but a dream
- Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
- Life is but a dream
- Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
i put a spell on you
-And now you're gone
- Gone, gone, gone, so long
My whammy fell on you
-And it was strong
-So strong, so strong, so strong
Your wretched little lives
have all been cursed
'Cause of all the witches
working I'm the worst
i put a spell on you
And now you're mine
Watch out, watch out
Watch out, watch out
Oh, she ain't lyin'
If you don't believe
you'd better get superstitious
-Ask my sisters
- Ooh, she's vicious
Uhh! Eee!
i put a spell on you
A wicked spell
i put a spell on you
Sisters!
Ah-say-into-pie
Oppa-maybe-uppen-die
Ah-say-into-pie
Oppa-maybe-uppen-die
- In-kama-koray-ah-ma
- In-kama-koray-ah-ma
- Hey
- Hey!
- High
- High!
-Say
- Say!
- Bye
- Bye!
Bye
Bye-bye