The Incredibly True Adventure Of Two Girls In Love
Script - Dialogue Transcript
Voila! Finally, the The Incredibly True Adventure Of Two Girls In Love
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Laurel Holloman and
Nicole Ari Parker lesbian movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
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The Incredibly True Adventure Of Two Girls In Love
Script
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, honey,
my earring... caught.
Slow down. Slow down.
Oh, shit.
It's Ali. Damn it!
No, honey.
No. I really have to go.
I'm really sorry, honey.
I'm really sorry.
I'll have to see you next week,
okay, babe?
Listen...
Bye.
Bye!
I sometimes wonder
if my life is always gonna be
like this...
kind of rough around the edges.
That's what my Aunt Rebecca
would say.
That's who I live with...
her and her girlfriend Vicky.
Just your normal, typical,
regular lesbo household.
My aunt's always nagging me
about school,
always telling me to plan
for the future.
But, you know...
the problem with me is...
I live in the present.
You got to be in the moment.
Hey, guys, I'm home!
I'm a strong believer
in impulsive behavior.
I don't really think about
the future much.
I mean, you can't tell
the future anyway, right?
We made it through
another day.
Hear, hear!
You can only be ready.
Does rice have protein?
May I have some?
I'm sorry!
Do you want beans, Randy?
- I got it!
- Okay.
God! Is Frank coming
over for dinner again?
Well, his mom never
cooks for him, poor thing.
Hey, guys, it's Lena.
Hey, guys.
How you doing?
Miss Randall Dean?
What's the cosine here?
Um, it's...
ahem.
Writing another
love song, Miss Dean?
All right.
Another student.
Okay. No more of this.
Oh, no, Little Miss
Hates Math.
Next time,
we're at least getting a "C."
It's hopeless.
Aw, come on.
Enough of this
teen pessimism.
I have five minutes
for a pep talk.
Okay. Number one...
Lena moving in, right?
- Yeah, right.
- Right?
Um, number two... math is not
the end of the world. No.
Okay, number three...
you got me.
Yeah.
- I'll help you out, right?
- Yeah.
Okay, well, I got to go.
I'm gonna call you later
and I'm gonna check up on you.
Are you gonna, like,
be thinking positive?
Will you do
my math homework for me?
- I'll help you do your math homework.
- Please?
- No.
- Please.
- Help. Positive?
- Yeah. Great.
All right, I gotta go.
Gym. Ooh!
Ooh. See ya.
Ugh! Look who's over there...
Randy Dean.
- God!
- She's such a freak!
Oh God, did you hear
about her family?
They're, like,
all lesbians there.
- Just goes to show you.
- What?
I don't know. Whatever.
Fuck!
I can't fucking
understand this stuff!
It's your life.
What?
I said it's your life.
Nice car.
All right. Fine.
I'll handle it.
Hi. Listen, there's
something wrong with my car.
I don't know
exactly what it is,
but I think it's
the back tire,
like it's out
of air or something.
Could you look
at it for me?
Barrier.
I know it looks okay,
but when you're in the car,
you can't feel
that it's going chomp?
I really think that
it needs air.
She thinks
the back tire needs air.
There's a married man
on the phone for you.
I know this
sounds weird,
but I just can't put the air
in the tires
because I think they're going
to blow up in my face.
Well, actually, you know,
tires don't blow up
from having air
put in them,
but, um...
I'll put some air in it
if you want me to.
Oh my God.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I really appreciate your help.
I'm such a spaz.
Are you ready?
Okay! It's done.
Thank you.
I'm such a spaz.
But I really appreciate
this a lot. Thank you.
I'm afraid of
the weirdest things.
Thanks.
By the way, where am I?
Uh, middle of nowhere.
Hey, don't you go
to Wallace High School?
You mean Wallace prison?
Barely.
Well, then,
I'll see you at school.
Randy. Randy Dean.
You know,
like as in James Dean?
- Oh.
- He's my uncle.
Really?
Just kidding.
All right.
Well, I'll see you at school.
The big house, I mean.
See ya.
Ahem.
Evie, why haven't we
seen each other?
Why?
Why is the sky blue,
okay?
Why does the Earth turn?
Why are people
the way they are?
- Why isn't anyone fighting for change?
- I don't know.
Why does Ted always
tell you what to do?
Why do you always
listen to him?
Wait a minute.
I'm asking you a simple question.
It deserves
a simple answer.
Why haven't you
even called me?
Fine. Shut me out.
Listen...
Go ahead.
Just shut me...
Hayjay?
Yes.
People are
watching you, Hayjay.
Yeah, like I was saying.
I'll call you when
I'm good and ready.
Okay, Miss Dean.
Why don't you
take five minutes outside?
Go sit in the hallway
and think about the situation
that you're in
and how you could
possibly change it.
After a few minutes have passed,
you will be allowed
back in class.
This is the th time
in the last few weeks
you've been late for class.
We have to stop
meeting like this.
Hey, is everything okay?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um...
No, thanks.
Choir.
I hope this
secondary smoke
doesn't ruin your career.
How's your car?
My car? My car is fine.
School problems?
School's easy...
compared to my life.
It's love that's hard.
Love and relationships.
I mean, why do
things change?
Why can't they stay like they were
in the beginning, you know?
Romantic
and exciting and...
you don't know
how many conversations
Hayjay and I have had
lasting until the wee
hours of the morning,
analyzing and psychotherapizing
every little thing.
And the next day,
he's the same person all over again.
Who's Hayjay?
My boyfriend.
Sort of.
Well, you know,
they say that, uh...
girls mature
faster than boys.
Don't you think they would
even out by the age of ?
No, but then again,
maybe you just
have to stick it out
through the rough times.
I hate that.
I think that people
should act out of love,
not obligation.
Don't you think?
Yeah. I guess so.
Yeah.
I'm at my wit's end.
I really am.
I don't know
what to do anymore.
Try going out
with a married woman.
Excuse me?
Oh. Nothing.
I just said everybody
needs love, that's all.
You know what?
I'm really sorry.
I mean, I don't even know you,
and I'm laying all
this crap on you.
That's okay.
I mean, I hope I didn't say
the wrong thing or anything.
No.
No. I'm sorry.
You've been really great.
Thank you
for listening to me.
Can I still have
that cigarette?
Yeah.
Shit.
Just take a drag off mine.
Okay, you two.
Principal's office.
I'm sorry.
I'm so...
- I'm sorry I got you in trouble.
- Oh, please.
I was the one that was bending
your ear about my stupid problems.
No, no. I mean, it's cool.
We're like...
we're like, totally bonded now.
It's cool.
Fucking dyke!
Fucking asshole!
Do you want a ride home?
No. I got...
I got my rollerblades.
Okay.
Bye.
You know what?
Yeah?
They've been sticking
a little bit...
the wheels.
Okay. Come on.
Is that your aunt?
Oh, no, that's Lena.
That's my aunt's ex-girlfriend
from a thousand years ago
who broke up with
her boyfriend,
and she's sleeping
on our couch for a while.
She's kind of new age,
but she's cool.
Well...
thanks for the lift.
Um...
did you mean that about...
being with...
a married woman?
Um...
I thought
you didn't hear me.
Just because I talk a lot
doesn't mean I don't listen.
She's not
my real girlfriend or anything.
It was just sort
of a fling kind of a deal.
You're not weirded out,
are you?
No. No. Not at all.
I mean...
why should I be?
Well, most people are...
at least most people
at our school.
Well, I'm not most people.
Okay.
Whatever you say.
I'll see you at school.
Yeah, definitely.
Who's that?
Some girl I met
in detention hall.
Nice car.
These tofu dogs
have artificial coloring in them.
I can't believe it.
Lena, could you help
set the table, please?
Yeah, sure, Vick.
I came out to a girl
at school today.
How'd it go?
Well, she didn't run
for the hills or anything.
That's great, hon.
She's, like, this totally cute
popular girl in my school.
Well, be careful.
You never know
how people are going to be.
But it's good you came out.
Really, I'm proud of you.
Why do you have to make everything
out into a federal discrimination case?
Hey, look, there's a TV
show on tonight
about two girls
who go to the prom together.
- How about that?
- Wow, that's great.
- "Based on a true story."
- Damn. We don't get cable.
We can't afford it, Lena.
Yeah. It's kind of expensive.
Vicky's cooking, Randy.
I think proms are stupid.
God, I would've given anything
to go to the prom
if I'd had a girlfriend
in high school.
I went to the prom
with a girl.
- Your sister doesn't count.
- She's a good dancer.
Don't tell me you wouldn't want to go
to the prom with your girlfriend, Randy.
First off, I don't have a girlfriend.
Second off,
I think proms are stupid.
Third off,
if I went to the prom,
I would go with Frank.
Frank's a good dancer.
# We're so cool,
yeah, yeah #
# Yeah, we're so cool, cool #
# We're so cool,
yeah, yeah #
# Fuck you, too #
# Cool schmool #
# I don't want to sit around #
# And talk about
the why, girls #
# Worked out good all day #
# I don't want to wonder
if you're going to say hello #
# I don't want to wonder
if you're going to walk away. #
I'm teaching myself
how to read music, Regina.
Sounds like it.
Thanks a lot.
Well, if it isn't Anita Ekberg.
Could I speak to you
for a minute, babe?
No. I only have a few minutes.
God! That girl gets me crazy!
There. That's better.
What you got on
underneath that raincoat?
Oh! Why must you
torture me so?
What's up, Wendy?
Ali's getting
on my case again
about filling up
that dang car all the time.
We just ought
to cool it for a while,
like maybe a week or so.
Last time you said that,
I didn't see you
for, like, two months.
Look, it's a hard situation.
We're both
at different stages in life.
I mean,
I'm years old,
and you're, like, .
I'm a married woman,
and you're just
a young little thing
flitting around,
having a good time.
You know what, Wendy?
That's just fine.
That's just fine with me.
You know why?
Because I met someone else.
I met someone my own age,
and we're going out now.
Well, I'll be damned.
You are one sly
little chicken, aren't you?
Well...
I suppose I could
get Ali off my case.
Maybe I could come by later.
- Maybe.
- It's too late. I'm booked.
I'm starting a band.
I've got band practice later.
Ha! I don't believe this.
Look, you just have fun
going to the movies
and holding hands
with that new girlfriend of yours,
and sipping through straws together
and making googly eyes!
Where you going, Wendy?
I have things to do, okay?
Thank you very much.
Going to the mall?
It's none of your business
where I'm going.
What, you mad? You mad?
You mad that I won't do
everything you say?
Oh, you go ahead and you do
anything you want!
It's fine with me!
Just fine!
I'll check in in a few.
What, a few years?
You're driving me nuts!
You drive me nuts!
Hey.
Heard you're hanging out
with Randy Dean.
What,
are you guys the KGB?
There is
no KGB any more, Evie.
All right. Whatever.
We're just saying.
- So?
- So what?
Were you hanging
out with her or what?
So what if I was?
She's pretty much
of a freak, I think.
In more ways than one.
What's that
supposed to mean?
Well, she's a total
pothead, number one,
and she's like a total diesel dyke,
number two.
So what?
Nothing.
We're just saying.
I mean, I just don't get
why she has to flaunt it.
I mean, she could fix herself up
and not try to act like a man.
Maybe?
You know, you guys
are so small.
Oh, Evie's got a thing
for the freak of the class!
I do not. Get out.
Aren't you getting
a little defensive, Evie?
I am not
getting defensive.
Well, I don't think she seems
like your type anyway, Evie.
I mean, I don't think she even
knows how to read.
I don't even know
why I hang out with you guys.
Because we love you, Evie!
We love you!
Hey, Evie.
How's it going?
Still got love problems?
Hey, I'm sorry
about detention hall.
You know,
I hate math... and English...
and history.
The whole damn thing
can go to hell, wouldn't you say?
Well, take care,
and I'll see you around.
Hey, my locker is .
Come by and visit sometime
at the old gas station.
PS: What bands
do you like?
PPS:
The things I do like
are trees in the summer
and lying on green grass.
It smells so good,
don't you think?
Are we broken up,
or not?
Hayjay, why you always
sneaking up on me, man?
Just tell me the truth.
I want to know the truth.
I can take it.
I don't know.
I mean...
I just think that we need
a trial separation.
I mean, I need
a trial separation.
I mean, I love you.
I just think that...
why do you always
make everything an intellectual thing?
You can never see things
from an emotional point of view.
- That is not true.
- Oh, yes, it is.
All right.
You want to break up,
just don't call me, okay?
Okay?
- A break is a break.
- All right.
What did you say?
I won't call you.
I promise.
I know those were
love notes, Evie.
I spoke
to your father today.
- Really?
- Uh-huh.
Honey, your father
said that the bank
might transfer him
to the office in London.
Really?
Won't that be a wonderful
opportunity for you?
Uh-huh.
You'd get to visit him, Evie.
I'm just gonna need
a / cup of balsamic.
I think
it's / cup, dear.
Evie, when are you going
to stop being so agitated
every time I mention
your father?
Honey, we have our own life.
He has his.
Everything is fine
with everyone.
And a teaspoon of olive oil
and we'll be done.
You know, sweetheart...
let me point it out to you...
that we've made it
this far without any major calamities.
That's good.
I really think you can relax
about the whole thing.
- Watch out.
- Oh! Shit!
It's okay. It's really
no big deal.
Evie, it's fine.
Just relax.
I will take care of everything.
- It's ruined. I ruined it.
- It's not ruined, Evie.
Just relax, and I'll
take care of everything.
My poor baby has
the senior-year jitters.
I ruined everything.
You didn't ruin
anything, Evie.
Evie, look at me.
It's not ruined.
Sweetheart, you never
ruin anything.
You're Mamma's
perfect little girl.
Phosphoric acid!
Gross!
Lena, could you help
set the table, please?
Some asshole at work
called me "sir" again today.
When I have that tattoo,
that'll fuck him up.
Graduate and you're
getting a tattoo, Randy.
I'm going to graduate.
I got called
sweetheart all day.
Even though you don't
have a job, Lena?
Honey, that smells great.
Then you get to do
the things you want.
You won't have
to put up with shit jobs.
I went to college,
and I had shit jobs.
Everybody in a band
has a tattoo nowadays.
- All right, all right.
- This stuff is bad for you.
Everybody stop picking.
Let's sit down and eat
like the normal family that we are.
Get the pasta.
Bring the bread.
Pray tell, I only got to see
his cute, round butt.
You are always
talking about butts.
Dear Randy,
I got your note.
Um, I'm sorry
I didn't say anything
after school
when I saw you, but...
She'll think I'm such a jerk.
What am I going to say?
Hi, Randy.
Thanks for your note.
I can't believe this.
I left that note
in her locker, like, a year ago.
I'm such a fucking fool!
Well, maybe she never got it.
Shit!
You're right. What if she never got it?
What if somebody else got it?
What if someone else took
the note out of her locker?
I'm sure that nothing
like that happened.
Just stop thinking
about it so much.
See?
- Hey.
- Hey.
Listen, um... there's
something wrong with my car.
It's, like, freaking out.
It's knocking and rocking and...
maybe you know something
about engine repair.
Yeah, I know a lot.
What about it?
Our mechanic Ali is
only here once every two weeks.
- Oh.
- I can handle this.
Fine, don't listen to me.
Let a high-school student
take a look at your $ engine.
Isn't the phone
ringing, Regina?
I got your note.
Like, when?
A couple of days ago.
Oh. So your car's
freaking out.
That's why you're here?
No. Um, I brought
you something.
It's called
"Leaves of Grass."
It's by Walt Whitman.
Wow, this is a...
it's, like, a poetry book.
Yeah. It's not
just about grass.
It's my grandmother's.
Wow. Um...
I like poems,
I mean...
do you like Billie Holiday?
I think she's kind of a poet.
Yeah, me too, sort of.
Your name's in here.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Thanks a lot.
I better get going.
Oh. Okay.
Whatever.
So you like the book?
Yeah, yeah.
Definitely.
Well...
Well, what bands
do you like?
Oh, you know,
just old stuff.
Classics... Janis Joplin,
Jimi Hendrix,
Led Zeppelin,
Stones...
early Stones,
not later Stones.
Right. Right.
My friends are always
teasing me about my music...
opera and classical.
I just try
to get them to feel it,
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
To feel how beautiful
the music is,
you know, and how it can
totally take you over...
your entire
sense of being.
Yeah, I know.
I think music's great.
I think it's the reason to live.
I'm starting a band.
Really?
Yeah, rock 'n' roll band.
Wow. You get
to travel and stuff.
It'd be great.
Thanks for the book.
Oh, you're welcome.
I'll read it tonight.
All right.
I got to go.
Okay.
Bye.
See ya.
Bye.
"The smoke of my own breath,
echoes, ripples,
and buzz'd whispers,
love-root, silk-thread,
crotch and vine..."
Crotch.
"My respiration and inspiration,
the beating of my heart,
the passing of air
and blood through my lungs...
a few embraces,
a reaching around of arms...
the feeling of health...
the song of me rising from bed
and meeting the sun."
God! This is intense!
Regina, have you ever heard of
that book called
"Leaves of Grass"?
Of course. It's famous.
I had to read it in college.
Walt Whitman.
He was a homo.
That girl gave it to me,
and I've been reading it.
It's heavy.
What's the deal
with her anyway?
I don't know.
She's not really what she seems
to be on the outside.
I'm in love with her.
That's what you said
about Wendy.
Anyway,
you just met her.
Wendy was just infatuation.
Total infatuation.
Shit! She lives in a mansion.
She's probably spoiled, then.
I don't think she's spoiled.
Okay. Sheltered and privileged.
How's that?
I don't think
Evie's like that, Frank.
All right, fine.
So Evie's special.
Can we go now?
# Dear dearest one #
# This is what I've done #
# This is what I said #
# Like a fling of my hair #
# Why do I stare at you? #
"A gigantic beauty of a stallion,
fresh and responsive
to my caresses,
head high in the forehead
and wide between the ears,
limbs glossy and supple,
tail dusting the ground,
eyes well apart and full
of sparkling wickedness."
Jeez. What a homo
that guy was.
He was writing
about the power of nature, Regina.
Yeah, aren't we all.
Don't you have
homework to do?
I don't do math
when I can read this book.
Hey! Want to go for a drive?
I have to work.
Ohh...
Go discover the power of nature,
why don't you?
What are they saying?
I have no idea.
Something in Latin.
Isn't it beautiful?
How do you know it's beautiful
if you can't understand it?
You just know.
It's not about God, is it?
Because I'm not into God.
That's all right.
You can just feel it, Randy.
Do you ever hear
from your mom?
Do you ever hear
from your mom?
Yeah,
on my birthday.
Gross! What's
that supposed to mean?
Operation rescue.
It's her whole life.
"May the Lord watch
over you on your birthday.
Glory to God. Love, Mom."
She even went to jail for it.
She thinks we're all sinners.
But you're her daughter.
Yeah, everything
worked out okay.
I have a family
and everything.
Yeah.
You know, it's weird when you tell
the story of your life,
but when you're in it,
it just seems
just as normal as anything else,
you know what I mean?
It's like when you hear about
those so-called normal families,
and then you find out
that they're into incest
and Satanic ritual abuse
and gross stuff like that.
Totally.
What about you?
Well, um, my parents
split up when I was four,
and...
my dad, he remarried
a white woman,
which... it kind
of pissed my mom off.
Um... but we get along
fine, though.
I mean, he's always
overcompensating.
That's how I got the car.
But, you know, it's fine.
It's... it's cool.
I don't want
to shock you or anything,
But, uh...
I really want to hold
your hand right now.
I mean, I wanted to
hold your hand all day.
I've held hands
with a girl before.
Girls like me?
No, I guess not.
I mean, but...
what could happen?
We'd get the shit
beat out of us, that's all.
Just for holding hands?
I don't believe that.
God, Evie,
you are so sheltered.
Well...
unshelter me.
You gals
want anything else?
Uh, yeah. I'll have,
uh, another cup of coffee.
I'll have a beer.
What kind do you want?
Uh, I'll have a Mick.
A what?
A Mick.
You know, Michelob.
You got ID?
Um...
Ah. Shit.
You know, I must have
left it at work.
No ID, no Mick.
All right,
I'll have a cup of joe.
A what?
A cup of joe.
Just kidding.
Two coffees coming up.
God.
Everyone's got to be a joker!
I can't. Now I feel weird
about that waitress.
Hey.
Hey, Evie.
How's it going?
Listen, want to come over
to my place and have dinner?
Hey, Evie, check it out. Dinner
at my place, Thursday night, : p.m.
Evie, check it out. Dinner at my house, next
week, Thursday night, : p.m.
Hey, Evie, want to meet my weird family
and eat organic pasta at my house?
You do? Great!
Great. Great. Great.
No, wait.
What if she says no way?
She's, like,
no fucking way, you freak.
She wouldn't say that.
She wanted to hold hands
with me in the diner.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, I'm just going to be myself.
I'm going to act cool.
I'm just gonna say...
what are you doing
Thursday night, Evie?
Want to come over
to my house...
have dinner...
meet my family?
It's great that you love pasta, Evie,
because we eat it here a lot.
I love pasta. Pasta's great.
Can I help with something?
Oh no, you relax.
You're our guest.
Randy, put that down.
Vicky's cooking.
Randy, stop snacking.
She's always snacking.
So, what does
your mom do, Evie?
She's a consultant, um,
for developing nations.
This is gonna be delicious.
Her actual title is
agricultural economist.
Oh, wow.
Farms and stuff, huh?
Yeah. Let me
help you with something.
Oh no, that's okay.
Lena, do you mind?
Oh, yeah. Sure, Vick.
Vicky is a great cook.
Except, you know,
you got to watch out...
Vicky, where are the napkins?
Evie, that's really interesting
what your mom does.
Yeah, um, the best part
is that we get to travel.
Like, last year, she had to go
to Paris for her annual meetings,
and I got to go with her
for a whole week.
Wow! All right!
- I'm training as a boxer.
- Really?
Yeah. I doubt
there's much work
for female boxers
nowadays.
Yeah. I can believe that.
Okay, everyone,
let's go sit down.
Um, okay.
Rebecca, are you
gonna get the bread?
Thank you so much.
It's great to have you.
I'm so hungry.
I am, too.
Okay.
We never really sit
at the table,
so this is a very
special occasion.
We do too sit at the table.
We made it through
another day.
- Thank the goddess.
- Hear, hear!
Thanks for coming
to dinner.
Hey, now,
help yourselves, everyone.
Would you like some vegetables?
I'd love some vegetables.
Well, that went pretty well.
I should have invited
Frank, though.
He really would have
wanted to come.
Your aunt hates me.
I mean,
why does she hate me?
No, she doesn't.
Shit, no.
She's just really hard to get
to know, that's all.
I bet when I go back in there,
she'll talk about how great you were.
Really?
Definitely.
I mean...
it isn't because I'm black
or anything, is it?
No.
No way.
She just probably
has a problem
with people who can go
to Paris for a week.
Mm-hmm.
That's all.
She likes you.
She... likes you a lot.
I mean...
at least
you can be yourself with them.
I mean, that's cool.
Do you want
some chewing gum?
Okay.
Tonight I kissed another woman
for the first time in my life.
The question now is,
what will I do?
"I sing the body electric."
"I sing the body electric."
Oh my God!
I sing the body electric!
I sing the body electric! Aah!
I definitely don't want kids
until I have a career.
- Yeah. Me, too.
- You want kids?
Yeah, sure, I do.
Why, you think
I shouldn't have kids?
No, not at all.
"This is the press
of the bashful hand,
this is the float
and odor of hair.
This is the touch
of my lips."
"This is the touch
of my lips to yours,
this is the murmur
of yearning,
this is the far-off
depth and height
reflecting my own face..."
"...thoughtful merge of myself,
and the outlet again."
I can't believe
this book is in our high school.
Yeah, but they usually leave
out all the good parts.
This edition is unexpurgated.
Un what?
It means it's the whole thing.
"This is the touch
of my lips to yours."
I think what happens in high school
probably ends up
being pretty irrelevant
later on in life.
"This is the far off depth..."
It's not as if people
check your math grades
when you're years old.
Really. It's not like people
remember stuff like that
when you're .
- !
- !
Do you think we'll still know
each other when we're ?
Do you?
I don't know.
It seems so far from now.
But I hope so.
Me, too.
Evie, do you have something
you want to tell me?
What?
No.
Honey,
if you can't tell me,
you can't tell anyone,
you know that.
Mom, why is it that every time
I try and separate from you,
which is a totally normal
adolescent impulse,
and in fact, crucial
to my adult development,
you come back
with that weird thing
about me telling you what
I can't tell the rest of the world?
Okay, okay, fine.
Forget it.
Forget it.
Absolutely fine.
Thank you.
You know, if you want
to shut me out
during our final
weeks together
before you go off to college,
then you go right ahead.
Mom, I'm not leaving
for, like, four months.
You're going to your father's
for the whole summer, Evie.
Mom, you're experiencing
empty-nest syndrome
before I'm even gone.
I'm an adult now.
Oh, really?
And I have to traverse
my own landscape.
Huh.
Call me old fashioned, but I thought that
was the sort of situation
where a person goes
home to their ma,
not their ex-lover
from seven years ago.
You are old fashioned.
And where else is she going to go?
We are her family.
This is our house.
We have a teenager to raise
and it's small enough as it is.
And we're poor.
Just add to it all.
Look, I made a vow that my house
would always be open to people I love.
You and I both took that vow
when we moved in together.
I needed it when I was young.
Randy needed it
when she moved in with us.
Even you needed that once.
No, I didn't.
No, I guess you didn't.
Look, you can either take
this summer school course
or you can go for the GED.
Either way, you won't be wearing
a cap and gown this June.
There has to be some way
I can graduate in June.
There's gotta be a way.
I told you
at the beginning of the year
that you had
to pass math. That's the way.
I mean, I think I've
done a lot to help you,
and you've refused
to help yourself.
Take this letter to your aunt,
and have her sign it
and bring it back to me.
You haven't
helped me at all!
You know, I'm depraved
on account of I'm deprived.
Can't you see that?
Bring back
the letter... signed.
I don't have enough credits
to graduate, Regina.
What are you going to do?
I don't know.
Shoot myself in the head.
You just met
someone you like.
That's true.
Man, if Rebecca finds out,
my ass is grass.
I'm sorry, babe.
Randy Dean!
De...
Randy!
Ali, what are you
doing here?
Come here! Come here!
Come here! Come here!
Listen, you little twat,
you dyke, you...
stay the fuck away from my wife,
or I'm gonna mess you up good!
Get the fuck off me!
Get off her, Ali!
Don't talk to me, Regina.
This is none of your business.
I'm not... I'm not kidding around!
I haven't seen Wendy in weeks!
There's nothing going on with us!
Get the fuck off me!
Anywhere near her,
I'll kill you!
Maybe if you
treated her better,
she wouldn't fool around
on you so much!
Don't you insult me!
I'm calling the police, Ali.
I'm not kidding around.
Anywhere near her,
I'll kill you.
- ...
I'll kill you.
Shut up, you lard ass!
Are you okay?
God, man,
what is she thinking...
fucking telling him
about us?
She probably told him
to make him jealous.
She's such an idiot.
Let's put something cold
on there.
Well, she did do a good job.
Oh... perfect.
Hi.
Hi.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine,
I'm fine.
Why are you holding
a popsicle to your neck?
I got bit by a bug...
a big, fat, ugly bug.
Are you in a bad mood
or something?
No. No, no.
I'm fine. No, I'm...
It's good to see you.
Um... listen, um...
my mom is...
Yeah?
She's... she's going away
in a couple of weeks,
and, um... it's
during my birthday.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
And... maybe you
could stay over
and celebrate me turning .
Well, that's great. You...
I mean, you don't
turn every day... right?
I mean, we could have a lot of fun,
you know, with my mom gone.
How long is
she going to be gone for?
Friday through a Sunday.
Honey!
Baby!
Are you okay?
Oh! I am so sorry
about all this mess!
Evie, this is Wendy.
Wendy, this is Evie.
Pleased to meet you.
Nice car.
What are you doing here?
I just came by to say
that you-know-who...
he's all brawn,
and he's no bite.
Thanks. Thanks
for the info.
Well, just thought
I'd check in.
If you need anything,
just give me a call, okay?
Okey-doke.
Do you love her?
No. No!
I love you.
Mono and diglycerides...
Lena,
if you don't stop
reading that stuff
out loud,
I'm going to kill you.
I'm staying at Frank's
this weekend.
You haven't stayed over there
since you were in the ninth grade.
How come you're
going over there now?
'Cause he broke up
with some boy,
and he wants
some company. Poor Frank.
Anyway, his mom's
gonna be out of town.
How nice. You'll have the whole
house to yourselves.
I don't know why you have
to go for the whole weekend.
I don't know why you have to give me
such a hard time about everything.
Leave her alone, Rebecca.
Yeah, why don't you listen
to your girlfriend?
I'm a good egg.
Leave me alone.
- She's a good egg, Rebecca.
- Stop bullshitting me.
What, you don't believe me?
You want to call him yourself?
Hear about the boyfriend on the football
team who broke his heart?
Put the goddamn phone back.
See?
God, Evie, if you were
going to turn gay,
you'd think you could at least
choose someone who's pretty.
I didn't say I was gay.
I said I was in love.
How come we didn't know
about this before?
I mean, you don't seem gay.
I think that you're under some kind
of spell or something.
I am not.
I'm the same person
that I've always been.
Underneath it all,
I am the same person.
Underneath it all.
That's funny.
Are you telling Hayjay?
No.
Do you want us to tell him?
No!
Well, who can we tell, then?
No one.
This is just between us.
I really can't believe this.
I mean,
this is totally insane.
Why do we have to be
the only people
with this information?
Well, Evie, how are we
supposed to process this?
In therapy, I guess.
Oh, shit. Are you guys going to go
to the prom together, too?
You know what?
I saw a movie about that.
Two girls went
to the prom together.
It was on cable.
Who cares about the prom?
I don't give a shit about the prom.
You're ruining your life, Evie.
I'm sorry to say,
but I really think that.
I think it's gross, Evie.
- Can I tell my mom?
- No!
Listen, if you guys
can't handle it,
then you can just
dump me right now
and not be
my friends any more.
I'm telling you, though,
I am the same Evie.
If you can't take it,
then you can just get up and leave,
and we'll never have to speak again.
Um... you know,
you should see
if you can get
that movie on video, Evie.
It was pretty good.
So what am I supposed to do
if she calls to check up on you?
You say I'm in the shower,
and then you call me at Evie's.
Tell me she called,
and I'll call her back.
I hate situations like this.
Why can't you just
tell her the truth?
'Cause I can't. I can't.
Just give me the number.
Don't lose it.
It's in my purse, okay?
Well, there's plenty of food.
Mom, we always
have plenty of food.
I think I have everything.
Hold on a minute!
Okay, now I gave you
the telephone number
to the hotel
where the conference is
and where I'll be staying.
You have
your father's number
- in case of an emergency, god forbid.
- Right. Right.
Oh, I can't believe
I'm not going to be here
for my baby's
th birthday. Ohhh.
Mom, everything's going
to be fine. I told you that.
Good luck.
Have a good time.
Maybe you can invite
a friend over.
Rent a movie.
Make some popcorn.
And, Evie, you have
so many nice clothes.
Do you have to wear
this ugly vest?
Goodbye, Mom.
Oh, I'm going
to miss you so much.
Oh, my sweet daughter.
I love her so much.
# She's my everything... #
Mom.
# Everything,
everything. #
- Mom.
- Okay, okay.
Goodbye, sweetheart.
I'll call you
the minute the plane lands.
- Okay.
- Bye.
Bye.
- And, Evie...
- Yes.
Be by the phone
at five to : .
I'm going to call you
the second you turn .
Love you.
Bye, Lena!
Hi.
Hi.
Come on in.
Okay.
This is me
when I was nine.
Ohh!
You were so cute!
I bet you were
already reading,
like, huge novels
and stuff like that.
Oh, stop.
Oh, this is one of my dad.
He's handsome.
Your dad's really handsome.
Yeah, I guess he is.
What about your dad?
I don't know him.
I mean, he split
before I was born,
so I just make up
things about him in my head.
Oh my God,
you and your mom...
you're, like,
practically twins.
Oh, please. We're symbiotic
enough as it is.
Hey, um, do you want
something to eat?
Yeah.
I'm really hungry
all of a sudden.
Goddamn it, you have
enough food to last a year.
There's more downstairs
in the freezer.
What do you want?
I don't know yet.
You want to smoke
some of this?
Sure. I mean,
you only live once.
You okay?
You all right?
Come on.
Do you like wine?
I don't know, really.
Okay.
Château Latour.
This is a really great cookbook... Antoine's.
It's amazing.
Who's Antoine?
I don't know.
- You don't know?
- No.
Why do you have
his cookbook?
Is it supposed to be purple?
Well, it's the wine,
the burgundy in the wine.
Taste it.
Come on.
All right,
you check on that.
Pepper.
Are you sure
we made this right?
Yeah, okay.
Is it... what does it need?
- Spice?
- More wine.
- More wine?
- That's good.
- It's good?
- Yeah.
Let me taste it.
Okay, this might
be a little salty.
There's an orange
in there.
Orange...
it's for vitamin C.
We made it
through another day.
Hear! Hear!
Wait.
Drink the whole thing.
Shit, you drank
the whole thing!
I think we ate
everything in the house.
I think
I like wine now.
That wine
was really good.
It was good, wasn't it?
That's not your mom's favorite
or anything, is it?
No. She'll never
even notice.
Oh, what do you want
for dessert?
We already ate dessert...
when the duck was cooking.
Oh yeah, I forgot.
What's symbiotic mean?
It means when you're
really, really close to someone...
like, too close...
like, um...
an infant and its mother.
I knew that.
Do you want to know
what happened to me today?
What?
I, um...
I lost...
I lost
all my friends today.
Did you tell them about us?
Mm-hmm.
I could have told you
that was going to happen.
I'm sorry.
I just couldn't believe them.
I've known them since,
like, eighth grade.
People are gross.
Something happened
with me, too.
What?
I found out I don't have
enough credits to graduate.
Randy, why didn't
you tell me?
I could have helped you.
It's too late.
I'm failing math... again.
We'll work it out, okay?
I'm... I'm really stoned.
Hold out your arm.
Are you scared?
Shit, no!
All right.
Well, close your eyes.
- Oh, I know what this is.
- What?
I have to guess
when you get right there.
Right. So say "right there..."
when I get right there,
and don't peek.
Okay.
Right there.
Oh!
It's hard to tell
where right there is.
You are...
you are so beautiful
Go on.
Close your eyes.
I've never done this before.
Neither have I.
Oh, bullshit. Yes, you have.
No, I haven't.
I really haven't.
Whose shoe?
Oh my God.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
What in the world?
Huh-uh.
Evie.
Evie, there's
somebody downstairs.
Evie! What if it's a murderer
or something?
Okay.
Shit!
That does it!
Evie!
Okay.
Honey, wake up!
- Evie!
- Mom!
Evie!
Evie, listen to me!
You left the stereo on!
You drank
the Château Latour!
Everything is turned
upside down. Open this door!
I can explain everything!
Oh, yeah? Well, did you see
that goddamn kitchen?
- Just one second!
- Open this door! Open this door!
Goddamn! How can you
do this to me, Evie?
How dare you!
How dare you!
You ruined the whole house!
Everything is a mess!
Everything is
turned upside down!
Goddamn it,
open this door!
Mom, I am perfectly willing to accept the
consequences of whatever action.
- Oh, really?
- You just have to wait one second.
You're in big trouble,
young lady.
- Big time trouble!
- One second, Mom!
Get out of my house!
Get out!
- Evie!
- Mom!
It's a girl!
Get her out of here!
Just get in the car!
Now!
Evie, you come back here!
You come...
Evelyn Roy,
I'm going to kill you!
Do you hear me?
I'm going to kill you!
I can't believe
I'm driving your car.
- Just drive. Just drive.
- Fuck, we should go back!
We should go back
and clean the kitchen.
I'll be cleaning the kitchen
for the rest of my life. Just drive.
- Where?
- I don't know.
Vicky, where's
my Rolling Stones tape?
I think Randy borrowed it.
God, this room is a mess.
Wallace High School.
What is this?
Vicky!
Fuck! Can you believe this?
This room smells bad.
What did you expect?
A heart-shaped bathtub
and satin sheets?
We're in a sleazebag motel,
running away from your mom.
Shut up.
I know why we're here.
How are we going
to pay for this room?
We can't stay here forever.
You should have stayed.
You should have stayed
and dealt with your mom.
I should have stayed
and dealt with my mom?
You should have stayed.
You could have helped me.
What, like,
I'm going to stay there
while she's screaming,
"It's a girl! It's a girl!
Get out of the house."
Yeah,
I should have stayed.
Who are we going to call?
I don't even have
any friends left.
That's not my fault.
Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
You're the one who wanted
to hold hands in the diner.
Whatever.
Goddamn it.
"Goddamn it."
Hello.
- Hello, Frank.
- Oh, hi, Rebecca.
I have a simple request, Frank.
I would like to speak
with my niece Randall right now.
She's in the shower
right now.
Can I have
her call you right back?
Tell her to call me immediately
and explain this letter from Wallace.
Right. Yes, sir...
ma'am.
Letter from Wallace.
Okay.
Evie.
Evie, is this you?
Uh, yes, is Randy there?
Who is this? Randy who?
Randy who? That girl?
Is that who you're asking for?
That girl?
Who is this?
Where's my daughter?
I think I have the wrong number.
Sorry to bother you.
I know you know
where my daughter is. Where is she?
Sorry. Sorry, ma'am.
You should see my dining room!
Look at it! Look at it!
Just look at it!
Goodbye now.
Sorry.
I really owe you one.
I promise to pay you back.
Okay. You know where it is?
Um, it's off Route .
Room number seven.
Okay. Thanks.
Okay. All right. Bye.
Hello?
Frank, it's me.
Oh God, girl, am I glad it's you.
You are in big trouble.
Rebecca called here,
and she found that letter
from the guidance counselor
and you are in big trouble now.
Fuck! Fuck!
Where are you?
Rebecca, calm down. She's going
through a rebellious phase.
This is all very normal.
"I'm sorry to inform you
that your niece Randall Dean
will not have enough credits
to graduate this year."
She spent too much time
with her girlfriend.
That's not true, Rebecca. You know
she's always had a hard time in school.
It's not Evie's fault.
"To receive a diploma, she'll have
to attend summer school,
or she may opt
for the GED program."
So she has to stay home
awhile longer. That's okay.
Yeah, everything's
fine so far.
Rebecca, I know Randy
has a good explanation.
If she gets a GED, she'll be working
at the gas station the rest of her life!
- Hello.
- Rebecca?
You're in big trouble, young lady.
Yes, you are.
Because I find out about you
not being able to graduate is what!
- I was going to tell you.
- Oh, really?
Yes, I was... was too
going to tell you. Yes l...
- Like when?
- When you get home from work.
But you haven't been home.
I haven't seen you.
Where the hell are you?
I thought you were at Frank's.
Tell me where you are!
- I'm on the road.
- What road?
I'm just
on the fucking road, okay?!
Get home now.
I'm hanging up.
Hanging up.
Hanging up,
Hanging uuuup.
I'm going to kill her.
Rebecca knows.
She knows
I'm not going to graduate.
This is so fucked.
I'm going to be grounded
for the rest of my life.
I got us some money.
We can split. We can stay.
"To think that you and I
did not bear our part.
To think that you and I
are now here
and bear our part."
Are you listening to me?
Frank said your mom's
having a nervous breakdown.
Oh my God.
I've got to call her.
I don't have
any quarters left.
I've got a calling card.
What am I gonna say to her?
Calm down.
Mrs. Roy, calm down.
Where are they?
If we can just find them,
I'm sure we can work this out.
- Now, where's your house?
- Where are they?
That's weird.
The machine's on.
I swear I don't know
where they are.
Frank, do you want us
to torture you or what?
You already are torturing me.
Don't hurt him, darling.
Frank, you have
to tell us where they are.
We have a major crisis
on our hands.
I'll let you borrow
my boxing gloves, Frank.
Oh, Jeez.
Yoo-hoo!
Honey, it's me.
Well, hello,
my little lovebirds.
Mmm... kind
of smells bad in here, huh?
Yeah, we know.
Did you bring money?
Yeah. Got it.
There you go.
Thanks.
We'll pay you back.
Thank you, Wendy, for coming
over here on such short notice.
Oh, honey,
don't worry about it.
I mean, I just rolled Ali
over this morning,
took it
out of his back pocket.
He's not going
to even know the difference.
What's your plan, girls?
This is as fast as it goes.
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
Calm down, everyone.
Just calm down.
We want to get there alive.
Wendy!
...chased us
down the street.
Wendy!
I was in my bare feet...
Wendy,
I know you're in here!
Oh, shit,
that's Ali. Damn it.
Get out of here.
Bathroom, bathroom.
Come out of there, Wendy!
Wendy, I know you're in there!
Would you stop yelling, Ali?
Who the hell is Ali?
Wendy's husband.
Great! This is just great!
I know you're in there, Wendy!
Stop yelling, Ali.
It's still early.
All right.
Where is she?
I told that little dyke
if I caught her messing around
with you again, I was gonna kill her.
Whatever are
you talking about?
Oh, don't bullshit me,
Wendy.
She's not here.
I swear it.
Who are you?
Who are you?
See, I told you
she wasn't here.
Is this another one?
No, no, no.
Ali, Evie here is a friend.
She is running away
from her murderous boyfriend,
and I came here to help her.
- That is all.
- Is that true?
Wendy saved my life.
I had nobody else to turn to.
I had nobody else to call.
I didn't know what to do.
All right, all right.
Don't get hysterical.
Now, Evie, Ali and I
have to get to church.
Are you gonna be okay?
You need a lift
or anything?
Oh, no, thank you.
I have my car.
She's got
that Range Rover out there.
Nice car.
- Okay, now, Evie, you take care, girl.
- Bye.
Oh my God.
You were great.
You were great.
I've never lied
that well before.
I got him!
I got him!
Okay, we'll knock
on every door till we find 'em.
- Evie!
- Randy!
Evie!
Oh, it's your mom.
It's okay.
Just come out.
Just come out, Evie.
Please, just come out.
Randy Dean!
Oh my God,
they're all out there.
Oh my God,
oh my God.
Oh my God, Evie.
Evie, think.
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
Evie!
Fuck!
Hi, I'm looking
for two teenage girls.
Did our husbands send you?
No matter what happens,
you know I love you.
We need a list of demands.
I'm sorry I fucked up
your th birthday.
We're not coming out
of the room
until they meet
those demands.
What do we want?
Randy Dean, we know
you're in there. Come out now!
We want to be together,
and we want you to graduate.
That's not really a demand.
We want you to have a tutor
so you can graduate.
Come on out, you two!
We know you're in here!
We have a list of demands.
We're not leaving until they're met.
Stop this bullshit right now!
"There are times
when I felt that
kissing Liota wasn't enough,
but I wasn't sure what the next step would
be, so until I knew..."
- Hey, isn't that Evie's car?
- Where?
Evie!
I am now, Mom,
and I can make
my own decisions.
Evie, Mommy's going
to get you some therapy, honey.
All you need is a little therapy,
just a little therapy.
I'm not the one
who needs therapy, Mom.
Did you hear
what she just said to me?
Baby, you are grounded for life!
Get out here!
All right, Evie, come out!
Both of you come out now!
- Now!
- Come on!
- Who are you married to here?
- I'm married to you.
This is hopeless.
We should just
give ourselves up.
Hi, Mrs. Roy.
Oh, hi, ladies. Hi, ladies.
How you doing?
Look, we're having
a little crisis on our hands.
We're trying to get Evie
to come out
with her new friend... Randy?
Randy's already out,
Mrs. Roy.
I don't think
that's what she meant.
You've got money.
You're going to college.
You're way smarter than me.
That is all bullshit.
So you guys go
to Wallace High School?
You swear
that you'll love me forever?
I swear.
I swear
I'll love you forever.
Open the door.
Hold my hand.
"There is that in me..."
"I do not know what it is..."
"But I know it is in me."
"I do not know it..."
"It is without name..."
"It is a word unsaid..."
"It is not in any dictionary,
or utterance,
or symbol."
"Something it swings on
more than the earth
I swing on..."
"To it the creation is the friend
whose embracing awakes me."
Let's change that
to "girlfriend
whose embracing awakes me."
Yeah, change it to girlfriend.