Jack The Bear Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Jack The Bear script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Danny De Vito movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Jack The Bear. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Jack The Bear Script


 

                   

Frankenstein! Frankenstein!



 

                   

Frankenstein! Frankenstein!



 

                   

Bring him down to the village,

and let's make it home.



 

                   

I thought I knew all about monsters.



 

                   

I used to watch them late at night

on Dad's TVshow.



 

                   

After we moved to Oakland, he stopped

doing kids'shows, because he was different now.



 

                   

Everything was different.



 

                   

Now he was Al Gory,

monster of ceremonies at Midnight Shriek



 

                   

Oh, Al?



  

                   

What?

Oh, it's you again



  

                   

So, anyway, before we dig in

to our second feature...



  

                   

I have to pay a visit

to my aging mother



  

                   

She would've

wanted me to have this



  

                   

It was on real late,

way past my bedtime.



  

                   

Dad didn't let me stay up to see it, so I used

to wait for Mrs. Sampson to fall asleep...



  

                   

Hold it Hold it

I think that was a good one



  

                   

and sneak

into his bedroom to watch.



  

                   

But then I'd get scared,

alone in his room at night...



  

                   

and I wouldn't know why.



  

                   

I didn't know yet what

I was going to learn that year:



  

                   

That monsters are real.



  

                   

Whoa



  

                   

We had

sort ofjust picked up and left Syracuse...



  

                   

crossing the country,

finding a house...



  

                   

the three of us taking care

of all the grown-up stuff together.



  

                   

Here I'll get that



  

                   

- Who is it?

- I got that



  

                   

Come on, Dylan



  

                   

I guess it

could've been strange being in a new place.



  

                   

Can your dad

come out and play?



  

                   

But it didn't take long for Dad to become

a celebrity among the kids on our block.



  

                   

When's the monster

coming out?



  

                   

There's no such thing as monsters

You all know that, don't you?



  

                   

Monsters exist

only in ourselves



  

                   

They live in the darkest chambers

of our hearts



  

                   

They never actually

come out into the world...



  

                   

unless, of course, a metal light appears

in the sky, but when's the last time you saw that?



  

                   

So why don't we try and be adults

about this and run along home, okay?



  

                   

- Hey, what's that?

- Mr. Leary!



  

                   

- What?

- Look Look



  

                   

- Look.

- There it is.



  

                   

He was always

a madman for playing with kids.



  

                   

Mom used to say that was because

he was reallyjust a kid himself.



  

                   

Mr. Leary, what's this strange power

you have over our children?



  

                   

I'm the perfect monster



  

                   

And the house we found

in Oakland was perfect for playing anything...



  

                   

especially the flashlight game.



  

                   

Come on, Dylan In the closet



  

                   

But it was different now,

the way he played with us.



  

                   

It was like he had to do it.



  

                   

After the heartbreak had happened,

sometimes I wondered...



  

                   

if Dad didn't need our games

more than we did.



  

                   

Okay. Right. That's right.

This is gonna be your bass note, okay?



  

                   

Ready?



  

                   

Where's "C"? Right Great



  

                   

Great Now again



  

                   

Sorry, Mom



  

                   

Right



  

                   

Very, very nice, Jackie.



  

                   

- Hey, Jackie

- Hey



  

                   

Mom?



  

                   

Mom died last winter.



  

                   

Dylan, don't wake Dad



  

                   

Dylan and I were

still learning things you need to know...



  

                   

when you move to a new house.



  

                   

Like in our case:

Don't play in the backyard.



  

                   

If you get caught

in there, they eat you



  

                   

Out front, there was a whole

neighborhood to get to know.



  

                   

Split the difference, okay?

Put the ball right there, okay?



  

                   

Like Mr. Festinger, who always

yelled at his son Edward for being retarded.



  

                   

Edward!



  

                   

Edward, what did I tell you

about your eyes and the ball?



  

                   

Never take your eyes off the ball



  

                   

All right You almost caught it

You almost caught that one Come on Let's go



  

                   

And Dexter, who lived next door.



  

                   

My mom might be sleeping



  

                   

His parents were really his grandparents...



  

                   

because his real parents had split

from each other and from him...



  

                   

and probably from everything.



  

                   

Guess what We got company



  

                   

Let's go to my room



  

                   

Of course,

his grandparents weren't doing much better.



  

                   

Did I tell you

he was a fighting Seabee?



  

                   

No one else on our street would

let their kids play at the Mitchell's.



  

                   

Come on Let's go



  

                   

Them that are over there

That's them over there



  

                   

See? Over there

Get 'em Get 'em Get 'em



  

                   

Hey, Zombie That's right

I'm talkin' to you



  

                   

The next time your dog

defecates on my lawn, he's dead, pal



  

                   

Goddamn son of a...



  

                   

And then there was Norman the Zombie...



  

                   

who mangled one ofhis legs

in a terrible accident as a teenager...



  

                   

when he crashed his T-Bird

into an ice cream truck.



  

                   

He'd fixed up the car

and kept it on blocks in his driveway...



  

                   

washing it every day.



  

                   

You know, inside that cane

is a sword



  

                   

- I've seen it

- And he attacked Mr Festinger one night with a tree branch



  

                   

Hit him

right over the head with it



  

                   

He also blinded his own dog

with a rock



   

                   

You ever look at it?

Looks like a dead marble



   

                   

- Oh, God!

- He's coming for us



   

                   

Get down. Get down, Dig!

Get down. Dig! Dig!



   

                   

Dig, he's comin'!



   

                   

Is Norman gonna get us?



   

                   

He's not gonna get us



   

                   

He killed his parents You ever

seen 'em over there in a long time?



   

                   

- I've never seen 'em

- You used to, walkin'around behind the curtains.



   

                   

I'm not going to go look

That's for sure



   

                   

Maybe we should.



   

                   

- I'll get it.

- No. I wanna do it myself.



   

                   

- Well, don't fall

- Okay, kids Get to bed



   

                   

- See? I can reach it.

- Don't give Ms Sampson a heart attack



   

                   

- What's up, Jackie Bear?

- Uh, nothin'



   

                   

We're gonna have a lot of fun

at the studio tomorrow



   

                   

But as for now, it's off to work



   

                   

Buyin'a new car doesn't have to give you

a headache, not if you go to East Bay Dodge.



   

                   

Ah My old friend,

Psycho Ward Cleaver



   

                   

Put that thing down, Psycho,

and we'll go for a test drive



   

                   

You know, Psycho, this

beautiful Dodge Challenger is loaded



   

                   

- Air-conditioning Power

steering Blood bucket seats - Ooh!



   

                   

Michael, wait up Michael



   

                   

Quiet Quiet



   

                   

Shh, shh-shh



   

                   

- What do we do now?

- Let's go



   

                   

- We got it?

- Come on



   

                   

What are you doing? What

are you doing? What are you doing?



   

                   

- Norman is gonna kill you

- Spray anywhere



   

                   

Jackie, wake up

We gotta go downstairs



   

                   

He said

he'd cut his foot investigating a noise...



   

                   

outside his house.



   

                   

I couldn't figure out

why he didn't tell Dad the rest.



   

                   

He must not have too many good friends

if he had to come to us



   

                   

in his time of need



   

                   

He has a sword in that cane



   

                   

Really?



   

                   

Yeah And he attacked Mr Festinger

one night with a tree branch



   

                   

Really?



   

                   

Wonder why

he didn't use his sword



   

                   

I guess that's when it all started.



   

                   

I just didn't realize till later

that the trouble wasn't only with Norman.



   

                   

Uh-oh Me spill



   

                   

Who let this brat

into my crypt?



   

                   

Spaghetti Bolognese? Now, how do you

expect me to clean up this mess?



   

                   

This oughta do the trick



   

                   

Don't move, Dylan

Hang in there Okay Cut



   

                   

Camera one, lock it off

All right You can move now



   

                   

- Peggy, take his clothes off.

- Come here



   

                   

- Hi, Peggy

- Here you go, Jack Hang onto that



   

                   

One day you're gonna like the girls doin'this.

Jack, don't you wanna be in the commercial?



   

                   

No way

I have friends that watch this show



   

                   

- Give me the clothes, Peggy Put 'em right here

- Yep



   

                   

- John, can I see you for a second?

- Now, Gordon?



   

                   

- John, can I see you for a second?

- Now, Gordon?



   

                   

Right now

Do you mind?



   

                   

All right

Well, let's take five



   

                   

What? What?

You canceling the show?



   

                   

No, no I love the show

I love the commercials I love everything



   

                   

- You gonna give me more bread?

- Look.



   

                   

I've been fightin'as hard as I can for you,

but they're pinnin'me to the mat.



   

                   

It seems they have a problem with

your Psycho Ward Cleaver character



   

                   

They think he's in bad taste



   

                   

- Why? Because he has multiple head wounds?

- Who knows?



   

                   

So just think of another character



   

                   

Is this a suggestion

or a nonnegotiable demand?



   

                   

It's a...

It's just a phone call



   

                   

- They make a phone call, and you roll over

- Don't worry



   

                   

Your dad can always

calm Gordon down



   

                   

- You're layin' down on me

- Course I am



   

                   

What? These people say "Shit,"

and you say, "What color?"



   

                   

All right Give me the jug Peggy, run out

and round up a bucket of dog vomit



   

                   

We'll throw it on the rug

All right Come on



   

                   

Mom always said

Dad bristled when he got mad.



   

                   

And some people

made him madder than others.



   

                   

Grandma! Grandma!



   

                   

- Grandma! Grandma!

- Hi. Ooh, look at him!



   

                   

Maybe that's

where the trouble really came from.



   

                   

- Look who's here

- Oh, my goodness golly.



   

                   

Ooh-ooh-ooh!



   

                   

- Hi

- Come on



   

                   

How are you? Hi, John



   

                   

- Whoa Look at that!

- Hey For you



   

                   

Long ago in Hollywood, Mom's parents...



   

                   

were put on a blacklist

they kept for Communists.



   

                   

Though no one ever proved they carried

the cards, which is the way you could tell.



   

                   

- Lincoln Steffens Thank you, Grandma

- You're welcome



   

                   

A great man, Jack



   

                   

Someone stays with you and your brother

while your dad's at work?



   

                   

- Mrs Sampson

- Uh-huh



   

                   

- An older woman?

- Uh-huh



   

                   

I could tell he was

tryin'to get me to rat on Dad...



   

                   

the way his friends

ratted on him long ago.



   

                   

Fishing with red bait for something

he could hold against Dad to his grave.



   

                   

Is he laying off the sauce?



   

                   

Uh-huh



   

                   

You know, it doesn't

help make things better, John... only worse



   

                   

Couldn't resist, could you, Syd?



   

                   

Tsk



   

                   

- Didn't help your marriage much

- Sydney



   

                   

- Is this why you came here?

- No I came to see my grandchildren



   

                   

Then what are you doin'

talkin' to me?



   

                   

You leave the children with strangers.



   

                   

What's even worse... on their own.



   

                   

I pay a responsible woman

to look after them.



   

                   

- What the hell else do you want me to do?

- Don't use that tone



   

                   

- You're talking about your own children's welfare, for God's sakes

- John



   

                   

- John, listen We all want the same thing

- I'm not gonna discuss this



   

                   

Fine. You keep drinking,

you lose this job like you lost the others...



   

                   

and we'll go to court

and take those kids.



   

                   

Tell you what, Syd:

Over my dead body How's that?



   

                   

That's when

you can have my boys



   

                   

They left that night.



   

                   

Dad? Aren't you

gonna take Dylan to school?



   

                   

It's Dylan's first day



   

                   

Dylan, let's go!



   

                   

- What are you doing?

- My shoes



   

                   

Dylan



   

                   

Dylan! Do you want the dogs?



   

                   

I want Daddy



   

                   

- Daddy's asleep

- I want Daddy take me to school



   

                   

Daddy! Daddy!



   

                   

Come on Come on

We live around here



   

                   

I want Daddy

Where's Mommy?



   

                   

"Where's Mommy?"

Listen, Dylan



   

                   

- You have to go in there, okay?

- No



   

                   

They'll be nice

You have to You have to go



   

                   

Okay? Come on

I'll pick you up later



   

                   

Now, go You have to go



   

                   

Go



   

                   

Japanese poetry is a drama.

It's about life and death.



   

                   

- It's...

- Um, sorry I'm late I had to...



   

                   

It's okay. Have a seat.



   

                   

That's right. No desks. Join us.



   

                   

- You have a desk

- Table



   

                   

- Wanna sit at it?

- No, sir



   

                   

No "sir" either



   

                   

The name's Vince



   

                   

Hi, Jack



   

                   

I know about your mom



   

                   

So We have a lot

of things for each of you to try



   

                   

Besides the electrical experiments

and the herb garden



   

                   

there's a "learning to communicate

your feelings" workshop I'll be teaching



   

                   

Oh, Jesus!



   

                   

Ohh



   

                   

That's very nice.



   

                   

There you go.

Hold onto my hand.



   

                   

Throw your ball. Throw your ball.



   

                   

Throw your ball!



   

                   

- Can I help you?

- Yeah



   

                   

Actually, uh, I was supposed

to drop off my son today



   

                   

I was detained, and, uh, I just came by

to see if he was okay



   

                   

- How old is he?

- He's three It's his first day



   

                   

Okay. Take it easy.



   

                   

Ifhe's doing all right,

maybe you should let him be.



   

                   

It might be harder ifhe sees you.



   

                   

He's a good kid



   

                   

I'm gonna go



   

                   

Get back in here.



   

                   

- Is there a fire?

- No



   

                   

It's that lady in there

The kid came home and found her



   

                   

She's barely alive There must be

a square yard of pill bottles in that place



   

                   

- Dexter, is your mom sick?

- No



   

                   

She's just not moving



   

                   

I knew right away, when I saw Dexter

coming home from school with his lunch pail.



   

                   

He looked like an angel or a girl...



   

                   

his face all soft

and rosy and sweet.



   

                   

My mom's dead



   

                   

Did you hear

about Dexter's mom?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

Dylan, no! Dylan



   

                   

You wearin' those

to school or what?



   

                   

The weeks went by, and fall came...



   

                   

with cold mornings,

like in Syracuse.



   

                   

Things had started to change. There was

even a girl at school who started talking to me.



   

                   

Hi, Jack



   

                   

Hi, Karen



   

                   

She was what my dad

called 'a long drink of water. '



   

                   

I wanted to tell you that I really liked

what you wrote for the poets' corner



   

                   

I thought it showed great sensitivity



   

                   

- It did?

- Yeah



   

                   

Thanks



   

                   

I figured I was really lame, because I knew...



   

                   

there was something I should do about

the situation, and I didn't know what it was.



   

                   

Would you like to come to my house

for some Hungarian goulash



   

                   

Friday night

at about  :   pm?



   

                   

Sure



   

                   

Oh



   

                   

Great



   

                   

- Yes! She said yes!

- All right



   

                   

- So I told her goulash

- Great I'll make my famous goulash



   

                   

- Really?

- Of course



   

                   

Maybe we should invite somebody, so it's not just

her surrounded by three men What do you think?



   

                   

- Who?

- I don't know Maybe Peggy



   

                   

I know it was stupid,

but I found myself wishing...



   

                   

Mom could somehow fly back

into the world.



   

                   

It's up to you, Jack

Whatever you want



   

                   

- Yeah No That'd be great

- Great This is great



   

                   

- Should I button it?

- We're casual tonight, right?



   

                   

- So you're saying I shouldn't button it?

- It looks good like that



   

                   

- Only you need a sweater It's raining

- I don't have any sweaters!



   

                   

- What time is it?

- You got plenty of sweaters.



   

                   

- Dad, I have to leave

- Relax. Try on a sweater.



   

                   

- Nothing goes!

- This goes



   

                   

I have to get out of here I'm taking this



   

                   

- That's good. It's clear. It doesn't clash.

- I'm going, okay? Good-bye



   

                   

Don't you want me to iron that for you?

Aren't you interested in what I'm gonna wear?



   

                   

What am I gonna wear?



   

                   

- Would you like a V  juice?

- V  juice? Sure



   

                   

- You must beJack.

- You must be Mrs Morris



   

                   

- Karen should be right down

- Okay



   

                   

I was afraid

they were gonna ask about my family...



   

                   

and I'd have to tell them about Mom.



   

                   

There you go, Jack.



   

                   

Thank you



   

                   

And then they'd have

to say, 'We're sorry to hear about that. '



   

                   

And then I'd have to say,

'That's all right. You didn't know. '



   

                   

And then there'd be that awful silence

where there'd be nothing else to say.



   

                   

- So, Jack, tell us about your...

- Hi, Jack.



   

                   

Hi



   

                   

- What happened here?

- Nobody knows



   

                   

They just showed up one day



   

                   

Hi, Dad This is Karen



   

                   

- Oh, how are you, Karen?

- Hi, Mr Leary



   

                   

It's very nice

to meet you, Karen



   

                   

Peggy Etinger, this is my son Jack Leary

and his friend Karen Morris



   

                   

- Hi

- Karen, this is my friend Peggy Etinger and my son Dylan



   

                   

Dylan, this is your brother's friend

Karen Morris, and your brother, who you know



   

                   

Jack, this is your brother Dylan, who

you know, and my friend Peggy Etinger



   

                   

Does anybody know who's playin' in there?

That's Glenn Miller



   

                   

Okay Here we go It's time you kids

learned classical music Very nice



   

                   

- Thank you, Peggy

- You're welcome



   

                   

At last

the goulash you've all been waiting for



   

                   

- I want my goulash! I want my goulash!

- I'll serve



   

                   

I'll do it Thank you, my dear

You may have your goulash



   

                   

All right You do...

the goulash I do the wine



   

                   

- The goulash!

- Great year for Welch's



   

                   

- Tasty goulash Eat that all up

- For you



   

                   

- Excuse me Pardon me

- So, Mr Leary, Jack tells me you used to have a kids' show



   

                   

He told you that, eh?

Thank you very much



   

                   

- Miss Etinger, a little goulash?

- Come on, Dad



   

                   

All right

You broke my arm



   

                   

Hi, boys and girls

Are you here for kids' stuff?



   

                   

Well, hold your horses

and tie up your dragonflies



   

                   

because today

we're gonna talk about colors!



   

                   

Red, green, blue,

orange, chartreuse!



   

                   

- Dad was really on.

- 'Goulash, John? '



   

                   

'Don't mind if I do-yash. '



   

                   

- Heart

- Heart Yeah



   

                   

Don't call clubs

Don't call clubs



   

                   

Don't call clubs Karen

Karen, look at my eyes Look at me



   

                   

Don't call clubs

Don't call clubs



   

                   

- Don't call clubs Don't call clubs Don't call clubs

- Clubs!



   

                   

Don't call clubs!

Oh, clubs! Ohh



   

                   

Oh, no Clubs

She called clubs



   

                   

No clubs



   

                   

- That ain't a club. No.

- He was like an artist.



   

                   

Only what he was creating

was the perfect evening.



   

                   

She called...

She called clubs



   

                   

- She called clubs.

And it was all for Karen and me.



   

                   

- In the closet There's a secret passageway

- Coming!



   

                   

- Where are you?

- Come on Let's go



   

                   

As we come...

Where are you?



   

                   

Are you in here? No?



   

                   

Ha! Back off



   

                   

Up the stairs we come



   

                   

Someday, if I ever get that far...



   

                   

maybe I'll be able

to do the same thing for my son.



   

                   

Where the hell are those kids?



   

                   

- It was great meetin' you I'm glad you came

- It's so nice to meet you



   

                   

- All right

- Nice to meet you



   

                   

- It was nice to meet you too

- Bye



   

                   

See you later Okay



   

                   

- Good night, Dad

- Good night



   

                   

- You want me to drive you? You want a ride?

- No Good night



   

                   

Good night, Dad.



   

                   

I was being sincere

It really was a lovely evening



   

                   

I hope there will be more



   

                   

Do you wanna come in?



   

                   

Well



   

                   

good night



   

                   

Good night



   

                   

- I don't know

what it was... maybe the rain...



   

                   

but after that night, everything

just started falling into place.



   

                   

All right.

We got 'em. We got 'em.



   

                   

The Oakland A's made it to the Series,

and we sat glued to the set for all seven games.



   

                   

- Two down

- Two down!



   

                   

- And here we are...

- Oh, no! It's Pete Rose, Dad!



   

                   

- No sweat. No sweat.

- And on that last fly ball...



   

                   

- Come on! Come on!

- We were on our feet, because we were champs.



   

                   

- Whoa, yes! Yes!

- Play ball!



   

                   

Yes! Yes!



   

                   

A's, A's, A's, A's, A's, A's, A's, A's!



   

                   

Whoo!



   

                   

A's, A's!



   

                   

See, Jack? We bring luck

wherever we go



   

                   

A's, A's, A's, A's!



   

                   

Whoa, Cookie Monster!

Whoa, Cookie Monster!



   

                   

One bag of cookies

One bag One bag



   

                   

- Daddy!

- Okay Okay Let me...



   

                   

I'm gonna let you

in on a little secret: My tongue grows.



   

                   

So from time to time



   

                   

I have to nip a little off



   

                   

like this



   

                   

Ah Blech!



   

                   

There

That's much better, don't you think?



   

                   

Jack!



   

                   

Jack!



   

                   

Jack!



   

                   

Hey, Dexter



   

                   

You like television?



   

                   

Dad always went all out for Halloween.



   

                   

But later that night,

he went too far.



   

                   

Come on, Jackie. Open the door.



   

                   

What are you tryin'to tell me?

You're too old to run around in a costume?



   

                   

- How do you think that makes me feel?

- So don't wear one then



   

                   

- No one's making you

- I like wearing one.



   

                   

- Well, good

- Jackie, come on. It's Halloween.



   

                   

You can wear a costume

and still be dignified. Look at me.



   

                   

- Trick or treat

- Trick or treat



   

                   

All right, Mr Adult The candy cauldron's

right here by the door



   

                   

If you run out, there's more

in the cupboard by the fridge



   

                   

If you run out of that,

there's always the change jar



   

                   

Okay, Charles Let's go and leave

your brother to reflect on his lost childhood



   

                   

Here you go

Hold that bag



   

                   

Come on now

Do not fall



   

                   

- My little brother's a clown

- Where is he?



   

                   

Hi, Jack Trick or treat



   

                   

Hi, Katie

Hello, Edward



   

                   

We saw your dad down the street.

He's dressed like a big rabbit.



   

                   

- I know

- Well, bye



   

                   

Hi, Mike



   

                   

- You recognize me?

- Sure



   

                   

Man, you're full of it

You real... You recognize me?



   

                   

- Bye, Michael

- What? Okay, okay Wait



   

                   

- What are you supposed to be?

- Me?



   

                   

- You

- Myself



   

                   

You're... You're

gettin' strange, man



   

                   

- Hello?

- Hello, sir It's Jack Leary Is Karen there?



   

                   

Uh, no, she's not here

She went to the party with her friends



   

                   

- What party?

- Big Halloween party



   

                   

- Oh

- Want me to tell her you called?



   

                   

- No That's okay

- You sure?



   

                   

- Thank you

- Okay



   

                   

Trick or treat, Jack



   

                   

Trick or treat, Jack



   

                   

Dexter, where'd you get the...



   

                   

Thanks



   

                   

How'd I do?



   

                   

Wow Huh?



   

                   

Not a bad haul, considering I had to lug

your brother halfway around the neighborhood



   

                   

- Dad

- Jackie, where would Dexter get a Nazi uniform?



   

                   

- Norman gave it to him

- He probably was dressed as a bus driver



   

                   

- Yeah, but, Dad, he went like this

- Don't do that in this house



   

                   

What are we gonna do about it?



   

                   

That's Mrs Sampson



   

                   

Dad



   

                   

How you doin', Norman?



   

                   

What? Are you out

trick-or-treatin'?



   

                   

No. I'm taking this opportunity

to collect contributions...



   

                   

for state assembly

candidate Elder Maclntyre.



   

                   

Mr Maclntyre is

a former law enforcement officer



   

                   

I know who he is



   

                   

Because



   

                   

I grew up on this street



   

                   

- Excuse me?

- When I was a kid, you didn't see them around.



   

                   

- They kept their distance.

- "They"?



   

                   

The niggers and theJews



   

                   

Ohh. 'They. '



   

                   

Mr Maclntyre can help us



   

                   

but he needs our help



   

                   

- Anything you could spare

would be greatly appreciated



   

                   

Halloween is my favorite holiday

I love seein' their costumes



   

                   

- What did you go as?

- A bunny



   

                   

Well, all right

Excuse me, sir



   

                   

- Mrs Sampson

- Hi, Jackie



   

                   

Hi, Mrs. Sampson.



   

                   

As one white man

to another



   

                   

I moved across the street

from a goddamned nazi



   

                   

Oh, my God!

"Niggers and Jews"



   

                   

Excuse me, Mrs Sampson



   

                   

- You're notJewish, are you?

- No I'm a Jehovah's Witness



   

                   

- Sorry about this, Mrs Sampson

- Don't worry, honey.



   

                   

Nothing you can do about it



   

                   

Elder Maclntyre



   

                   

Milltown...



   

                   

Dad showed Invasion of the Body

Snatchers that night, his favorite movie.



   

                   

He said it was really about all the stupid people

who worried that Communists...



   

                   

were gonna

take over the country.



   

                   

And all the towns around us It's a

malignant disease spreading through the country



   

                   

I don't wanna alarm you



   

                   

but check out

what this movie is really about.



   

                   

Pods from outer space?



   

                   

Some small town

called Santa Rita?



   

                   

This is your town



   

                   

He was drunk, not pretending.



   

                   

I could tell by his half-closed eyes

and the slow way he moved.



   

                   

Look again at that man across the street,

watering his lawn



   

                   

- Go to two

- Two's off the set.



   

                   

Or that woman

climbing out of her Pontiac



   

                   

Carrying her grocery bags



   

                   

- How big is that nose?

- Dad, don't do this



   

                   

Who are these people moving in?



   

                   

Niggers?



   

                   

Jews? Commie bastards?



   

                   

Shit



   

                   

You turn around,

and one day, there they are



   

                   

If you don't wanna

think about it, don't...



   

                   

but if you're smart...



   

                   

- Oh, my God

- you'll join me



   

                   

and candidate



   

                   

for assembly

Elder Maclntyre...



   

                   

- Cut him off

- Anything you can spare...



   

                   

- Cut him off now

- will be greatly appreciated



   

                   

Thank you

for your kind attention.



   

                   

Sieg heil.



   

                   

Get ready

to send them out



   

                   

He was really big up close.



   

                   

I knew it was wrong, but I thought

of dragging him over to Festinger's lawn.



   

                   

I figured I'd leave a trail...



   

                   

or someone coming out

of their house to get their paper...



   

                   

would look over and see me.



   

                   

If I could do it all over again,

I would've rolled him there if I had to.



   

                   

Absolutely.



   

                   

Dad



   

                   

Where was I?



   

                   

Dad?



   

                   

Martini, like Daddy



   

                   

The vet said poison,

and we were the prime suspects.



   

                   

No matter where Cheyenne was poisoned,

stumbling around, coughing his guts out...



   

                   

it was our front yard

he finally crashed on.



   

                   

- What the heck do you want me to do, Jackie?

- Tell him we didn't do it



   

                   

- He doesn't think we did it

- Dad, after last night?



   

                   

Uh, Norman, hi



   

                   

Uh I came over here

to apologize to you



   

                   

I did a very mean-spirited thing

on my show last night



   

                   

I don't know if you saw it.



   

                   

I was drunk

I know that's no excuse



   

                   

I don't know

what you're talking about



   

                   

I didn't kill your dog, Norman



   

                   

I'm sorry that somebody did



   

                   

I didn't poison your dog,

Norman



   

                   

If you knew me better,

you'd know it's not my style



   

                   

I'd have shot him



   

                   

For those of you

whose brains aren't totally withered...



   

                   

here's a startling demonstration.



   

                   

My old friend

Psycho Ward Cleaver will do the honors



   

                   

Take 'em away, Psycho



   

                   

- Not enough blood

- That's plenty



   

                   

Hey, I finally found The Beast

with a Million Eyes.



   

                   

Ooh We'll put it on Friday night

with Mr. Sardonicus.



   

                   

- Okay

- John



   

                   

John?



   

                   

- I think you need some time off

- What?



   

                   

You need a break

Last night was too much, John



   

                   

- Do I get to decide how long a break I need?

- No



   

                   

So you're firing me? Is that

what you're saying? You're firing me?



   

                   

- Don't press it, John

- Well, I wanna press it I think I should press it



   

                   

I'll take a week off



   

                   

What turned your motor on?



   

                   

Look, Jack I think it would be best

if we began seeing other people



   

                   

I mean, we can still be friends



   

                   

I'm just too young to tie myself

to one guy, Jack



   

                   

Where did you hear this?

On television?



   

                   

It's just the way I feel



   

                   

I didn't know why

Dad stopped going to work.



   

                   

I asked him ifhe was looking for a newjob,

and he wouldn't even talk about it.



   

                   

It wasn't like he had

changed in any way.



   

                   

- I don't know. Maybe

we werejust growing apart.



   

                   

- So what's the story?

- No story



   

                   

Did you see any other fathers

acting like seals?



   

                   

- Somebody had to do it

- Could you ever just stop for, like, one minute?



   

                   

I need to know if you plan on

being Bozo the Clown your whole life



   

                   

Listen to this Who's the father

and who's the son here?



   

                   

I don't know



   

                   

- Open the goddamn door, Dylan

- It's locked.



   

                   

I know it's locked

You locked it Now unlock it



   

                   

- I don't know how.

- Then turn off the goddamn water



   

                   

- I don't know how.

- Turn those goddamn knobs



   

                   

- I don't know how.

- Goddamn it!



   

                   

Goddamn it!



   

                   

- I said, come on!

- No!



   

                   

No!



   

                   

No, Jack No! No!



   

                   

No, Jack! Please, no!



   

                   

Now, you stay there!

Stay there!



   

                   

Jack!



   

                   

Thank you, Jack



   

                   

I was beginning

to wonder if the awful reprisals...



   

                   

we expected from Norman

weren't coming instead from ourselves...



   

                   

from the darkest chambers,

as Dad said, of our hearts.



   

                   

I'll pay you a nickel to watch my brother a while



   

                   

Uh-huh



   

                   

Jack the Bear had real long hair



   

                   

Takes some steps

Ain't gettin' nowhereJack the Bear



   

                   

Jack the Bear!

Yes! He is Jack...



   

                   

Surprise! Happy birthday!



   

                   

Whoa, whoa, whoa.



   

                   

Hey, Jackie

What's the matter? Hmm?



   

                   

- They all saw me singing

- So?



   

                   

- Well, they're laughing about it

- Oh, no, they aren't



   

                   

They're laughing because

they're at a party They're happy



   

                   

- Jackie Bear

- Don't touch me



   

                   

Get out of my room



   

                   

Get out of my room now!

Get out!



   

                   

- Where's Dylan?

- He's gone



   

                   

Where?



   

                   

- Where?

- There, in the street



   

                   

My brother doesn't

go in the street



   

                   

Look, man, my brother is my responsibility

Now, where the hell is he?



   

                   

Does this mean

I don't get to keep the nickel?



   

                   

You want to die?

Talk! Talk! Talk!



   

                   

- Norman

- Norman what? Norman what?



   

                   

- Come on! Tell me now!

- He took him in a car



   

                   

Norman's car's

right there, idiot!



   

                   

It doesn't even have a motor!



   

                   

Hey!



   

                   

- What car?

- Another car A white car



   

                   

You're supposed

to be watching him!



   

                   

He's your brother

Please get off of me



   

                   

- I'll get off you if you swear that you won't run away

- I swear!



   

                   

- I'll kill you if you run away!

- I swear



   

                   

Hey!



   

                   

Ow!



   

                   

Where's my brother?



   

                   

I need the police

It's an emergency



   

                   

I need them to come

to my house right now



   

                   

It was like a dream...



   

                   

where your legs keep moving,

but you can't get anywhere.



   

                   

I knew I should be finding him,

but I didn't know where...



   

                   

or who to ask,

or what to do.



   

                   

- What's the trouble, Jack?

- Norman kidnapped my brother



   

                   

Dexter saw it,

but he wouldn't tell me what happened



   

                   

What? Hey, Dexter!



   

                   

Get over here!



   

                   

Get over here



   

                   

- Tell me, boy, or I'll whale you!

- Ow!



   

                   

Hey, Mitchell,

what the hell are you doing?



   

                   

- None of your business. Shut up!

- Don't tell me to shut up



   

                   

I'll put your head through the window

of that ugly camper Don't tell me to shut up



   

                   

- It's none of your business!

- Anything that happens on this block is my business!



   

                   

- What're you hittin' the kid for?

- You got your nose in everybody's business.



   

                   

- This is my family.

- What the hell's going on here?



   

                   

- Leave the kid alone.

- My brother was kidnapped!



   

                   

Are you the person who called?



   

                   

- I was in the house, and he's supposed to be watching him

- Tell him what you saw!



   

                   

- He was kidnapped by Norman Strick

- There's the father



   

                   

White car.



   

                   

Sir?



   

                   

I'm sorry to have to tell you, but we believe

one of your sons has been kidnapped.



   

                   

Norman Strick,

that son of a bitch, took Dylan away in a car.



   

                   

Dexter, tell him what Norman did.



   

                   

I just need some information from you, sir.



   

                   

We'll start the search...

Sir?



   

                   

Look, who is this man

who took him away?



   

                   

His name is Norman Strick



   

                   

He lives right over there.



   

                   

How are you doin', son?



   

                   

It was getting to be his bedtime.



   

                   

All I could think was that Norman was just

gonna pull up any second with Dylan...



   

                   

just pull up outside

with an ice cream cone.



   

                   

No!



   

                   

Mr. Festinger

thought he'd died and gone to heaven.



   

                   

He threatened me once

with a tree branch



   

                   

The man belongs in an institution

I think he's a nazi



   

                   

He was the real poisoner of Cheyenne.



   

                   

Why didn't Norman steal Edward?



   

                   

Ten seconds, John.



   

                   

Nine, eight, seven, six...



   

                   

five, four...



   

                   

John, you're on.



   

                   

Yesterday at  :   pm



   

                   

my son



   

                   

was taken by this man



   

                   

His name is Norman Strick.



   

                   

He's in his late   s



   

                   

Walks with a cane



   

                   

He was...



   

                   

He took him

in a white car



   

                   

My name is DetectiveJohn Marker

with the Oakland Police Department



   

                   

We're asking your help

in locating this missing child



   

                   

His name is Dylan Leary.

He's three and a half years old.



   

                   

Dad?



   

                   

We're at a crossroads



   

                   

Can you feel it?



   

                   

It's dark down there...



   

                   

and there are things

nobody...



   

                   

wants to meet in the dark



   

                   

Whether we'll come out

on the other side



   

                   

hating everything



   

                   

and everybody...



   

                   

I don't know



   

                   

The same argument

over and over and over again!



   

                   

- It's like a broken record!

- I feel like I'm raising three children and not two.



   

                   

I'm a child, is that it?

I don't provide for this family?



   

                   

- I don't bring my money home?

- You're not listening to me!



   

                   

I don't give you a good life here? Huh?

What are you talking about?



   

                   

- I can't take it.

- You can't take it anymore? Then get the hell out!



   

                   

Hello



   

                   

Yes, this is Mr Leary



   

                   

An accident?



   

                   

Is she okay?

Where is she?



   

                   

Is she... Is she okay?



   

                   

Well, tell me if she's okay.

Is she okay?



   

                   

Tell me if my wife is okay!

Is she okay?



   

                   

Is she okay?



   

                   

Jack! Jack!

They found Dylan He's alive



   

                   

Excuse me! Excuse me

I'm looking for my son



   

                   

He was lost, he was found, he's small



   

                   

He's down that way

to your right, Mr Leary



   

                   

Buddy Hi, buddy



   

                   

Are we allowed

to kiss him?



   

                   

Yeah Kiss him



   

                   

They found him

in the woods by the Piedmont Reservoir.



   

                   

Not molested, the doctor said.



   

                   

Just abandoned,

left to die in the mud by a creek.



   

                   

I, myself,

would have died of terror...



   

                   

alone in the woods,

in the night, in the rain...



   

                   

with monsters all around.



   

                   

Norman had disappeared

off the face of the Earth...



   

                   

and Dylan had stopped talking...



   

                   

From the trauma, they said.



   

                   

After three days

and still no words...



   

                   

the doctors decided

maybe he should come home...



   

                   

where familiar objects

might give him security.



   

                   

We're home



   

                   

- Hi

- Hey, partner



   

                   

Oh! Look at that



   

                   

- Well, here I am Where cookies?

- Here are the cookies!



   

                   

Who's that? Is that Big Bird? No.



   

                   

Who's that? Is that Cookie Monster?

Me want cookie!



   

                   

Is that Cookie, huh, Dylan?



   

                   

And now observe as I...



   

                   

I don't wanna call you Vince! I feel like

you're a teacher if I call you Mr Buccini!



   

                   

You have every right

to be upset, Jack



   

                   

Then please just leave me alone,

and stop persecuting me!



   

                   

I couldn't get back

into the whole school thing.



   

                   

The place is a mental institution.



   

                   

But what I didn't understand

is how could a person like me...



   

                   

who's always been loved,

hate so much?



   

                   

John



   

                   

- I'm so sorry, John

- Yeah



   

                   

- Are you okay?

- I'm okay.



   

                   

How's the baby?



   

                   

Hi, sweetheart



   

                   

You remember Grandma?



   

                   

We've been sleeping

together in here



   

                   

It broke



   

                   

That oughta do it



   

                   

Goddamn it

Goddamn it!



   

                   

Dylan, I'm not mad at you, honey

I'm mad at the bed



   

                   

- Don't make him afraid of his own bed, John

- Shut up!



   

                   

Dylan Come to Daddy



   

                   

John!



   

                   

John.



   

                   

Come on.

That's not gonna solve anything.



   

                   

Where is he?



   

                   

Where is your son?



   

                   

- Where is he?

- For God's sake, John!



   

                   

They're responsible!

They raised him! They're guilty!



   

                   

Go out of here! He's gone away

He's gone somewhere else



   

                   

Jackie



   

                   

My heart's beginning to beat

with the monster's heart



   

                   

Everything in L.A.

Was big and bright, except their house.



   

                   

It was small and dark,

and Grandpa smelled like it...



   

                   

or it smelled like him.



   

                   

Now, tell me why you did that



   

                   

- To get away from your bishop

- Ah, but look



   

                   

You have to be on your guard

every minute, Jack



   

                   

The other guy always has a trick

up his sleeve



   

                   

Checkmate



   

                   

Tell me why you did that.



   

                   

You don't know why?



   

                   

You just moved

without thinking?



   

                   

Maybe you should

let me win once



   

                   

Let you win? Why?

What would that accomplish?



   

                   

I don't know



   

                   

I'll teach you to win, Jack

I won't let you win



   

                   

That would be wrong

You'd regret that later on



   

                   

You know,

what you moved into



   

                   

is called the Devil's Crossroads



   

                   

I would take this piece,

and you've got yourself blocked here...



   

                   

Dad would let me win!



   

                   

I'm sure he would



   

                   

He wouldn't be obvious about it,

but I'd probably know he was doing it



   

                   

He'd make a big deal out of it



   

                   

He'd protest the game

He'd yell and moan about it



   

                   

He'd tell everyone he was robbed

and demand a rematch



   

                   

It would go on for days



   

                   

Then I'd like to play chess



   

                   

and I would have learned

the Devil's Crossroads because of him



   

                   

I'm sorry, Elizabeth



   

                   

Just tell me

what I gotta do, Gordon



   

                   

Just tell me

what you want me to do, and I'll do it



   

                   

You want to change the show, we'll change it.

We'll make it a kiddie show.



   

                   

- No

- We'll make it light We'll make it bright



   

                   

- No No!

- Why not?



   

                   

- We'll make it a talk show

- No!



   

                   

- We'll show cartoons

- John, no



   

                   

- I'll make it a cooking show

- No!



   

                   

- Why not?

- Because I don't trust you, that's why



   

                   

- You have to trust me

- Why?



   

                   

Because I can't lose my kids



   

                   

Can he pick up the ticket

at the airport?



   

                   

Yes, he's flown before



   

                   

That's right

L- E-A-R-Y One way



   

                   

Dylan, I'm going to Dad



   

                   

I'm gonna get him

I'm gonna come back for you, okay?



   

                   

You'll be okay here

while I'm gone



   

                   

Okay?



   

                   

- Thanks

- No problem



   

                   

Dad!



   

                   

Growling]



   

                   

Shit



   

                   

Dad?



   

                   

Jack? You in there?



   

                   

Jackie?



   

                   

Jackie?



   

                   

- Hmm?

- Jack, you in there?



   

                   

Home run, Jack



   

                   

Jack



   

                   

- No, no! No!

- I just want to talk to you



   

                   

Oh! No!



   

                   

Help! Somebody help!



   

                   

Where are you going, Jack?



   

                   

I just want to talk to you

Don't you want to talk to me?



   

                   

Get the fuck away from him now!



   

                   

You touch my son, and I'll kill you!

You hear me?



   

                   

- Okay

- Dad! Daddy!



   

                   

Jackie!



   

                   

Jack!



   

                   

No! No!



   

                   

Jack



   

                   

Better get this in writing



   

                   

What am I doing?

I don't know



   

                   

I kept wondering

what Mom would say if she saw Dad...



   

                   

cleaning up the house and trying to make

things great for Dylan's homecoming...



   

                   

but I didn't have much faith

in what he could do anymore.



   

                   

Mmm



   

                   

Mmm



   

                   

And now we return

to those kings of horror



   

                   

Abbott and Costello



   

                   

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch...

Chick!



   

                   

- Chick!

Even though he was doing better...



   

                   

- Chick!

- It's just that I knew now...



   

                   

there was more than one kind

of monster in the world.



   

                   

- Hi, Mr Leary

- Hey, Dylan Come on



   

                   

- Hi

- When's the monster coming out?



   

                   

There's no such things as monsters

You all know that



   

                   

We know

They're only in our hearts



   

                   

They don't

actually come out into the world.



   

                   

Not unless a metal light

appears in the sky, right?



   

                   

No, not even then



   

                   

We'll think of a new game, okay?



   

                   

Okay?



   

                   

"Once there was a little bunny

who wanted to run away



   

                   

"So he said to his mother,

'I am running away'



   

                   

'If you run away, '

said his mother... '



   

                   

"Run away, 'said his mother.



   

                   

"I will run after you

for you are my little bunny. '



   

                   

"If you run after me, '

said the little bunny...



   

                   

"I will become a rock...



   

                   

'on the mountain

high above you. '



   

                   

"If you become a rock

on the mountain, 'said his mother...



   

                   

"'I'll become a mountain climber

and climb to where you are'



   

                   

- "'Lf you become a mountain

climber and climb to me'



   

                   

"said the little bunny



   

                   

"'I will be a bird



   

                   

"and fly away from you'



   

                   

"'If you become a bird

and fly away from me'



   

                   

"said his mother



   

                   

'I will be a tree

that you can come home to"'



   

                   

What's the name

of that song, Dylan?



   

                   

She sang it to us

every night



   

                   

Don't you remember?



   

                   

Tell me the name

of Mommy's favorite song, Dylan



   

                   

He doesn't remember, Jack.



   

                   

It was too long ago

He was too little



   

                   

- I miss Mommy

- I know



   

                   

I miss her so much



   

                   

Me too



   

                   

And I don't know

what's gonna happen to us



   

                   

- We're gonna be all right

- No, we're not!



   

                   

Nothing's all right!



   

                   

Then we're gonna

make it all right



   

                   

Shh, shh, shh



   

                   

Shh Daddy's here

Daddy's here



   

                   

Shh, shh



   

                   

Cry for your mother, Jackie



   

                   

Cry for her



   

                   

Jack the Bear?



   

                   

Dylan Dylan



   

                   

Say it again

What did you say? Say it again



   

                   

- Say it again

- Jack the Bear



   

                   

Jack the Bear



   

                   

Jack the Bear







 

  

  

 
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