Voila! Finally, the Jerry Maguire
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Cameron Crowe movie
starring Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Jerry Maguire. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
The world. Six billion people...
When I was a kid, there were three.
It's hard to keep up.
That's better.
That's America.
America still sets
the tone for the world.
In Indiana, Clark Hodd.
The country's best point-guard.
Last week he scored points
in a single game.
Erica Sorgi.
You'll see her ln the next Olympics.
In Seattle. Dallas Malloy, .
One of the premier women boxers.
She's thinking about her boyfriend
right now.
Indio, California. Art Stallings.
Check out what pure joy looks like.
Odessa, Texas.
The great Frank Cushman.
Next April, teams will be falling
over themeselves to sign him.
He's my most important client.
Start trying!
There's genius everywhere.
Some make it...
- You don't know diddley about golf!
- ...some don't.
I'm the guy you don't usually see.
I'm behlnd the scenes.
I'm the sports agent.
- I'm gonna hurt you this year.
- Hi, Jerry.
My door's always open if you want
to come and get a real agent.
I'm going to a meeting right now
to talk about you.
- We've got to win Super Bowls.
- Jerry, how are you doing?
- Who much is this gonna cost me?
- I know what you can afford.
I'll write it down for you.
- I can't afford that.
- Winning isn't cheap.
The new player and owner photo.
That's me on the left.
This is where I work. SMI.
Sports Management International.
agents guiding the careers
of finely-tuned athletes.
I handle the lives of clients
and get phone calls a day.
I will not rest until you're holding
a coke in your own commercial, -
- broadcast during a Super Bowl
game that you're winning.
It's what I do best.
I started noticing
a few years ago...
In the quest for the big dollar,
little things were golng wrong.
There's no proof of anything.
This guy is a sensational athlete.
Are you Calvin Nack?
Can you sign my card?
I'm sorry, little fella, I can't.
- Only Pro-Jam Blue Dot cards.
- I just wanted an autograph.
Lately, it's gotten worse.
Hi, baby.
Do you know your name?
Wait, it's coming...
My name is Steve Remo.
I play for Chicago.
This lady here is my wife.
This is my boy. And this is...
Wait... My agent!
I've got to play this weekend, Doc.
I've got to play % of my games.
I've got to get the bonus.
- Okay, Jesse, take care.
- Mr. Maguire...
This is his fourth concussion.
Shouldn't he stop?
It would take a tank
to stop your dad.
It would take all five
Super Trooper Warriors.
Right?
Right?
Fuck you!
Who had I become?
Just another shark in a suit?
Salaries are skyrocketing, and you
are one of the guys responsible.
Two days later, at our conference
in Miami, a breakthrough.
Breakdown?
Breakthrough.
- I just wanted an autograph.
- Fuck you.
I couldn't escape
one simple thought.
I hated myself.
No, here's what it was...
I hated my place in the world.
I had so much to say,
and no one to listen.
And then it happened...
It was the oddest,
most unexpected thing...
I began writing
what they call a mission statement.
A suggestion
for the future of our company.
A night like this doesn't come along
very often. I seized it.
What started out as one page,
became .
I was my father's son again.
Remembering the simple pleasures
of this job.
The way a stadium sounds
when a player performs well.
The way we're supposed
to help them in health and injury.
With so many clients,
we had forgotten what was important.
I wrote and wrote ...
and I'm not even a writer.
I was remembering my mentor
Dicky Fox, who said:
The key to this business
is personal relationships.
Suddenly, it was all clear.
The answer was fewer clients.
Less money. Caring for them
and caring for ourselves.
Just starting our lives... really!
I'll be the first to admit,
what I was writing was touchy-feely.
I didn't care. It was the me
I'd always wanted to be.
I went out and
printed up copies.
Even the cover looked like
the "Catcher in the Rye".
I entitled it, "The Things
We Think and Do Not Say".
"The Future of Our Business"
That's how you become great, man.
Hang your balls out there.
Thanks.
Everybody got a copy.
Some of the animals out there
walk on two feet.
Society needs protection
from these warped minds.
Boom!
This is Jerry Maguire.
Those manuscripts...
Oh, they did?
No, that's fine, thank you.
Finally, somebody said it.
Good work, Maguire.
I was and I'd started my life.
- How long do you give him?
- About a week.
- Are you with the sports people?
- Jerry Maguire, SMI.
Bobbi Fallon, BPI.
I'm producing the Coke commercials.
Good luck.
My son is really allergic
to the blanket material...
That's all we have, okay?
- I'm sorry if I was rude just now.
- That's okay. We're both in it now.
Why is it so easy to talk to you?
Tell me about your fiancée.
Honey, are you all right?
Do you want some juice?
Thank you.
We're out hiking.
I've got the ring in my pocket.
I'm a little nervous.
She says to me... Get this:
"Hurry up, klutz."
It bothered me somewhat.
I got quiet. Then she got quiet.
I decide not to propose.
The mood isn't right.
But I know that she knows
that I was going to propose.
- So we check back into the hotel.
- How sad.
Little do I know, but my assistant
presumes I've now proposed.
She's got the lounge band to play
"Here Comes The Bride".
There's football players watching
and an ESPN crew.
So I turn to her and grandly say:
"Goddess of Rock Climbing,
would you marry a klutz?"
I took out the ring.
I don't much like big scenes, -
- but she said "yes"
right there ln the lobby.
The toughest men in football wept.
- We're getting married in February.
- You'll stay married forever.
- What's wrong, Mom?
- First Class is what's wrong.
It used to be a better meal,
now it's a better life.
Ray?
Ray! Come on, buddy.
- Ray!
- Excuse me, can I help you?
Jerry Maguire.
- I work in your office.
- You're Dorothy Boyd in accounts.
By your desk is a photo of Einstein
with Shaquille O'Neal's body.
- That's pretty good.
- What did you lose here?
My son... My mind.
Ray!
Dorothy, while I go look for him,
you grab this gentleman here.
You scared me!
- Don't do that again, ever!
- Okay, Mommy.
Ever, ever... ever!
- Dorothy... take care.
- Thank you so much.
I loved your memo, by the way.
- You did?
- Yeah.
Thanks. Actually,
it was just a mission statement.
In this age, optimism like that
is a revolutionary act.
I appreciate that.
I didn't know if I should write it.
It was two in the morning,
and some of the stuff I just...
That part about
"embracing with enthusiasm...
...and forcing commerce to give
a little back for the greater good."
I was inspired,
and I'm an accountant.
I mean, to respect yourself enough
to say it out loud.
To put yourself out there like that,
so nakedly.
I don't know... It got me.
- Is this bothering you?
- No, this is... great.
It's great.
Do you need a ride?
Do you need a lift?
Oh, no! I'm sure
that would just make your day.
Driving us out to Manhattan Beach.
All those tiny streets.
Playing chicken with the traffic.
Your life flashing before you.
- I've had too much coffee.
- It's no problem.
There's my sister Laurel,
to pick us up.
Ray... Dorothy... a pleasure.
Bye.
Hi, Ray. Hi, you.
I'm double parked, let's go.
Is this everything?
Whoever snagged him
must be some classy babe.
Whoever snagged him
must be some classy babe.
Don't ever stop fucking me!
Sooner or later
we'll have to stop!
Never been better...
Never!
Never better!
Open your eyes. If you want it,
I'd go with another woman for you.
I'm not interested in it, anymore.
It was a phase. A college thing.
Like torn Levis
or law school for you.
Want some fruit from the kitchen?
- Do you have to tell me everything?
- That's what intimacy is.
- We're eating out tomorrow night.
- I know about the bachelor party.
Your buddies worked hard for this.
The guys from the office are coming.
Relax, act surprised,
and have an amazing time.
Hey, old college-buddy.
Congratulations.
- For you.
- Thank you.
And this. The finest cigar
my club has to offer.
This is what it's all about, man.
Everybody loves you.
It pisses me off!
Whether you're country,
a red-neck or a freak...
Young or old,
from Moscow, London or Memphis...
Jerry Maguire will still be
the king of rock and roll.
- Your little black book.
- He makes my heart pound.
- I know Jerry pretty well.
- Hi, Jerry, remember me?
- I'll see you for lunch tomorrow.
- He was good in bed.
This is the funniest thing ever.
Jerry should get married.
He won't be alone.
- He cannot be alone.
- He can't be alone.
Jerry is great at friendship,
but he's really bad at intimacy.
He can't be alone.
- He can't say, "I love you".
- He's an agent. He lies.
- I love you too.
- Hey, love you too.
I love you.
- I love you.
- I love you.
- Good morning, Jenny.
- Sorry I missed the party.
Good morning, Jerry.
Marcee's here and she's in a hurry.
I'm glad to see you finally made it.
Rod is very upset.
- Tyson, no!
- Okay.
- Hello.
- Long time no see!
- Tyson!
- How can I make your life better?
Jerry, I don't want any bullshit.
Where is our offer from Arizona?
- Cronin's for lunch?
- This is Bob Sugar.
- He's called at our house.
- Sorry to interrupt you.
You've got to earn your %.
My husband has an image.
Putting him in a water-bed
commercial makes him common.
He deserves the big four: Shoe,
car, clothing line, soft drink.
I know about celebrity endorsement.
We both majored in marketing.
We came to play!
The dirtyman is back!
- Hey.
- Hey, buddy.
Are you okay?
- Fine. What's up?
- I came here to let you go.
- Pardon me?
- I came here to fire you, Jerry.
It's real. You should say something.
Shit.
A crowded restaurant...
so there won't be a scene.
You ungrateful...
You did this to yourself.
You said fewer clients.
How do you think it feels
firing you?
I've thought about it all week.
Get past yourself for a second!
- You'll lose.
- You wanted smaller.
Well, now I want all my clients,
and yours, too.
Wendy, bring me my numbers.
- Cush.
- This is Sugar.
Look, you're the most important guy
in sports. How does it feel?
I just want to play football.
Dad, it's one of the agents.
Wendy! Keep trying Cushman.
And please, bring me my numbers.
J.J., what's up?
Have you talked to Maguire?
He had a meltdown.
I've talked to Doritos about you.
They're very interested.
Here, talk to Rick.
Carlo, you pay % of your
endorsements to SMI. I'll take %.
I don't know if it was drugs,
but the guy freaked out.
He's not the guy for you.
How's your mom?
I'm gonna make this easy for you.
What does your heart tell you?
I'm sorry to hear that.
- What's going on?
- They've fired Jerry Maguire.
That's a mistake.
I'm concerned about your family
and your future.
I go back a long way with SMI.
Is Maguire black?
Bob Sugar?
He's... entertaining, funny...
I'm Mr. Black People!
Don't make this harder than it is.
I've got to be honest,
this is very distressing for me.
Remember that stripper
at Laguna Beach? Her name was April.
I remember things.
It's not the money. I do it for you.
- I'm still holding for Katarina.
- I'm talking big money.
Great!
Are you in or out?
This is business not friendship.
You are in... that's good.
I want to cry
for what they did to you.
If it wasn't for the Acura deal,
you know I'd go with you.
Jerry. Oh, God!
Call waiting.
Who could be calling me now?
- Hi, Kathy Sanders.
- Still me, Kathy.
Kathy, why are you crying?
Oh... so you're in.
Rod, it's Jerry Maguire.
Jerry Maguire! How am I doing?
I'll tell you. I'm sweating.
Where's my contract?
Bob Sugar says
I'm missing out being with you.
- You hear what I'm saying?
- That's why I called.
No, no... Do you truly
hear what I'm saying?
- I hear you, Dad.
- We have to get together.
- Hold on a minute, Rod.
- Personal attention.
- That's what you told my wife.
- That's what I said.
Good! We're just getting started
on the things you need to know.
I will kill for you.
I am a valuable commodity. There's
dudes out there trying to kill me.
I still catch the ball. Touchdown!
I make miracles happen.
Are you in?
I'm from Arizona.
I broke Arizona records.
I went to Arizona State!
- And now you want Arizona dollars.
- Exactly.
I'm sitting here
with an ant problem.
My brother Tee Pee's room
is flooded.
- Say hello to Jerry Maguire.
- Hello.
Hello, Tee Pee.
No one's looking out for me.
I'm supposed to be a superstar.
- Are you in or out?
- You stay with Bob Sugar!
I am a role model.
I have a family to support!
I want a contract in Arizona.
I like you.
My wife likes you.
You're good to my wife.
- I will stay with you.
- That's great.
That's what I'm gonna do for you.
God bless you, Jerry.
This is what you're gonna do for me.
What can I do for you?
You just tell me.
It's personal and very important.
Hell! It's a family motto.
- Are you ready, Jerry?
- I'm ready.
Here it is.
Show me the money.
Show...
...me ...the...
...money... !
- Say it with me, Jerry.
- Show you the money.
No, you can do better than that.
- Bob Sugar's on the other line.
- Show you the money.
- No, show me the money.
- Show me the money.
- Louder!
- Show me the money.
- You've got to yell that shit!
- Show me the money!
- Louder, Jerry.
- Show me the moneyl
Show me the money!
- You love this black man.
- I love the black man!
- I love black people.
- I love black people.
Show me the money!
Congratulations,
you're still my agent.
Well... don't worry.
I'm not gonna do
what you think I'm gonna do.
Let me just say...
...as I ease out of the office
I helped build...
I'm sorry, but it's a fact that
there's such a thing... as manners.
A way of treating people.
These fish have manners.
In fact, I'm starting a new company
and the fish will come with me.
Call me sentimental,
but the fish are coming with me.
Okay.
If anybody else
wants to come with me, -
- this is a chance for something
real, and fun, and inspiring -
- in this godforsaken business,
and we will do it together.
Who's coming with me?
Who's coming with me?
Who's coming with me
besides Flipper here?
This is embarrassing.
All right.
Wendy, shall we?
I'm three months away
from the pay increase...
Okay.
- I will go with you.
- Dorothy Boyd, thank you.
Right now?
Don't do it.
Bye.
We'll see you all again.
Sleep tight.
Let's see how they do without us.
Thank you.
- You will have a medical program?
- Oh, sure.
I don't know...
Don't panic.
We're gonna be okay.
We're gonna be great.
We're gonna be... great.
- I wonder what he said.
- My aunt is hearing impaired.
He just said,
"You complete me".
To support one another,
we've got to listen to one another.
Women are taught not to see
each other as good people.
We see each other as enemies.
We compete over men.
- It's true, It's terrible.
- I used to hate women.
Now I've met you guys,
and you're like me.
It's important
because you can be my friends.
- What about medical?
- Of course.
Single parents can't be frivolous.
If you had read what he wrote,
you'd have left, too.
Do you know those child exams
cost $ and that's if he's well.
- Where is Ray?
- Asleep in the living room.
Don't leave my little boy alone
with your divorced women's group.
I've finally got in touch
with my anger.
What did I do?
Function, function...
Forward motion is everything.
Cush saves all.
Go to Texas. Keep one star,
and they'll all follow.
There's no real loyalty.
You told me that yourself.
- I was trying to sleep with you.
- Well, it worked.
I will not let you fail.
You are Jerry Maguire!
King of the house calls.
Master of the living room.
- Okay, this is working.
- You are not a loser.
- Who mentioned losing?
- Wrong word! When can you leave?
- Matt?
- I'm in the back, Jerry.
Would you like a bloody beer?
- Beer and tomato juice.
- I'm fine.
We've spent a lot of time together,
and you know I care about your son.
I'm concerned
that if you stay with SMI...
We've decided to stay with you.
I'm not really a hugger.
I can't let go.
I told myself if he shows up,
we stick with him.
- Hey, Jerry. How's it going?
- Hey, Cush.
- How are you?
- You remember Keith.
He must go number one in the draft,
and I want him to play.
It'll either be Denver or San Diego.
- I'll either surf or ski.
- Denver's where he should be.
You know I don't do contracts,
but what you do have ls my word.
And it's stronger than oak.
- Hello.
- Jerry Maguire.
- Is Avery there?
- She has an NFL meeting in Atlanta.
- Hello?
- My son's here with the nanny.
- In our office?
- Nanny? I prefer child technician.
- I came home to work here.
- Fine. Dorothy, we are backl
We are so very, very back.
I resigned Cush. We're set.
- I am so happy for you.
- Happy for us.
Happy for us.
Rod, being at the draft will help.
Get on the plane and meet us there.
Good. See you there.
Avery will be at the B-gate at : .
Do you know the human head
weighs eight pounds?
Troy Aikman, in only six years,
has passed for yards.
- Bees and dogs can smell fear.
- I've booked Tidwell at the Mariot.
Pete Rose made hits and
he's not in the Hall of Fame.
Did you know that my neighbour
has three rabbits?
I can't compete with that.
- Did we go over everything?
- Yep.
- Back on Tuesday, right?
- Yeah.
- Ray, wish me luck.
- Good luck!
- Hey, Rod, you made it.
- Jerry...
- Hi, Cush.
- We should be selling these.
This is my agent, you might
want to get his autograph.
- Excuse me...
- Are you Hootie?
No, I'm not Hootie.
Is it gonna be San Diego or Denver?
He'll either surf or ski.
Rod, at last I find you.
What am I doing here, Jerry?
This ain't my party.
- Nobody gives a damn about me.
- Let's walk through the lobby.
I want the media and the reps
to see you for what you are:
The best-kept secret in the NFL.
You are the wide - receiver.
You're fast, fierce and charismatic.
You are the man! Ready?
Let's go. The fiercest.
You are the man.
- Let's do it.
- Hi, Mel. Hi, Tom.
It's a good thing you were able
to hold onto Cushman.
I want you to meet Rod Tidwell,
catches, yards last year.
I came all that way
just to walk the lobby.
- It might have even worked, too.
- Yeah? Let's do it again.
See the Reebok-ad down there.
Where are my endorsements?
No love from Chevy,
no love from Pepsi...
I ain't gettin' no love from Nike.
Did I ever tell you
about my Reebok story?
- I've got to get back to Cushman.
- Oh, your golden paycheck.
I'll boil it down for you.
Fuck Reebok!
All they do is ignore me.
Always have.
For a moment down there,
you got that chip off your shoulder.
You let people in.
You were brilliant.
- Really?
- Brilliant.
- See you tomorrow.
- You're loving me now.
I'm showing you the money!
I was just testing you, but to hear
you say that makes me love you.
Jerry, come back.
- How was your flight?
- Good.
If you can find your size, grab
some of those shoes by the door.
Cush, Matt,
we have a decision to make.
San Diego just came in with
a last-minute scenario. It's big.
- He's got to go number one.
- San Diego wants him bad.
- What happened to Denver?
- Before a draft, people get crazy.
San Diego is offering seven years
for . Signing bonus of .
- Should I unplug the phone?
- Damn reporters.
You just say, "No comment".
I'm no good at
talking and saying nothing.
Let me.
For you, it's a pleasure.
This is Cush.
It's Sugar. Is Maguire there?
Sniff if he is.
You're in with the big boys now.
I got you the deal you needed.
This is business, not friendship.
You've got to be strong.
Okay, buddy? See you later.
No comment.
- He's got it all wrong.
- You're on TV again.
I'm sick of me.
Before I go back to Denver,
let's put something down on paper.
- A contract with Jerry Maguire.
- Not right now, Jerry.
Do I know everything
there is to know here, Matt?
You're not talklng with Bob Sugar?
- Denver would only deal with him.
- Said who? Sugar?
- I'm learning as I go here.
- You let him deal behind my back?
I'm sorry... I love my son.
I love your son!
I brought Denver to million.
You listened to Bob Sugar?
That is a child.
You let that snake in the door?
Okay, listen, rookie mistake.
I'll fix this Denver thing for you.
You didn't sign anything
with Sugar, right?
Matt...?
Tell me you didn't sign.
What happened to your "my word
is stronger than oak" thing?
We signed an hour ago.
You were in the lobby
with the black fella.
Sorry, Jerry.
I just want to play football.
- How do I spin this?
- Honey, it's spun!
- What did I do to you?
- It's all about you, isn't it?
"Soothe me, save me, love me."
I have to finish my job.
- Everything is on the run with us.
- We are salespeople. We sell.
It's not trust my handshake,
it's make the sale! Get it signed.
- Welcome to my nightmare.
- Is honesty outlawed here?
- I would prefer loyalty.
- Our deal was the brutal truth.
I think you added the "brutal".
There is a sensitivity thing that
some people have. I don't have it.
I don't cry at movies,
or gush over babies.
And I don't tell a man who just
screwed up, "Oh, poor baby."
But I do love you.
- Avery, it's over.
- I didn't hear it.
- There's something missing.
- You've never been alone.
- You can't be alone.
- It's over.
- No one has ever dumped me.
- I'm not trying to make history.
I climbed El Capitan in hours and
minutes. I can make this work.
No.
Oh, Jerry . ..
I didn't ever want to hurt you.
I won't let you hurt me, Jerry.
I'm too strong for you. Loser!
Roll with the punches .
Tomorrow's another day.
- Taxi !
- You're loving me now, aren't you?
Very much. Taxi!
Didn't we arrive in a limo?
I hope I don't sound too much
like a shrink here, but...
- What's wrong?
- I'm just a big disappointment.
Everybody cries on this show.
If you've tested positive,
quit doing blow.
Upset about your baby girl.
Why did you leave her mother?
The media don't understand the
pressures $ million comes with.
- This is some bullshit.
- What are you doing wlth me, Rod?
- What?
- Don't you even see? I'm finished.
I am fucked!
hours ago... I was hot!
Now, I'm a cautionary tale.
You see this jacket I'm wearing?
I don't need it. I'm a failure!
I lost the number-one draft pick!
Why? Let's recap.
Because a hockey player's kid
made me feel like a jerk.
I ate some bad pizza, went to bed
and grew a conscience!
Boo-fucking-hoo!
I've got ten years, tops. My next
contract has got to be a big one.
I could be out in five years.
What's my family gonna live on?
I don't want to hear your shit.
"I lost Cush and Avery..."
A drink, please.
Anybody else would have left you
by now, but I'm sticking with you.
I'm gonna ride your ass like Zorro
till you show me the money.
We're together on this.
You hear me? We're gonna be one.
- The both of us... you know?
- My God!
You have no messages.
He's coming over.
He just lost his best client.
This is not a guy.
It's a syndrome.
It's early mid-life,
don't-let-me-be-alone syndrome.
- But, if that's what you want...
- He's engaged.
And for the first time,
I'm part of something I believe in.
Okay...
but he better not be good-looking.
Hi... I'm Jerry Maguire.
Hello.
You're just the way I pictured you.
- I'm her disapproving sister.
- Honesty.
Thank you.
Thank you. Dorothy!
Dorothy, your... boss is here.
Hello.
- Hey, you.
- Thanks for inviting me over.
- Where's the little guy?
- He's sleeping.
I'm so glad you're home.
Being alone is not my specialty.
- My God!
- Yeah.
Well, I broke up with Avery.
- That's too bad.
- No, it's for the best.
We'll still be friends.
It's better now than later.
- I'm dying here, aren't I?
- Yeah, it's a reaily bad cut.
Just think if I had got her
the ring she really wanted.
Why don't you have a seat?
I'll get some aloe vera for the cut.
- Do you have something to drink?
- Sure.
- I heard.
- I saw your shoes under the door.
This guy is looking for anyone
who'll show interest.
Don't use those.
Use the frosted glasses.
- I warmed up some chicken.
- I love you.
I won't say any more,
but what about Ray?
He shouldn't hear
a strange man's voice in the house.
- A drunken man's voice.
- What about ten angry women?
Lean forward. Okay, I've got it.
It's still edible.
Change your shirt.
Hi, Jerry.
Hi, Ray,
aren't you supposed to be in bed?
- Yeah.
- Don't worry, I won't tell.
The human head weighs eight pounds.
- Jerry Maguire.
- I think it's this one.
You should be dreaming about me.
Think about me constantly.
That's when the big dollars
are gonna flow.
- Who is this?
- Rod Tidwell. Where's my agent?
- My agent and I should be one.
- Are you a football player?
A football player? I'm a school
teacher about to womp your ass!
I won't say anything else, but you
just can't fall for a drowning man.
Which top?
Turtle neck, sensible. V-neck, sexy.
What are other women my age
doing right now?
They're out partying
trying to get a man.
Trying to keep a man.
Not me, I'm trying to raise a man.
This one. I've got a -hour-a-day
reminder of Roger for my whole life.
I've had three lovers in four years.
All of them ran a distant second
to a good book and a warm bath.
I'm the oldest -year-old around.
How do I look?
- Good.
- Yeah? Thanks.
% of new buyers
are African-American.
- You talk too much.
- It is a form of communication.
- It was fun talking to you, Rod.
- Jerry...!
I'll make you a ham sandwich.
- I'm glad you listen to me.
- Well, I love you.
When my dad retired from the
United Way after years, he said:
"I wish they'd given me
a more comfortable chair."
When my dad died, my mom took me
to the zoo and I loved it.
- Let me tell you about my dad.
- No, let's go to the zoo.
Okay, you're right.
My whole life I've been
trying to talk... really talk.
But no one wants to listen.
You know that feeling?
- They just look at you...
- Let's go to the zoo, right now.
The zoo...
the fucking zoo's closed, Ray.
- You said "fuck".
- Yeah, I did.
- Is that...?
- I won't tell.
Well... then I'm gonna have to
take you to the zoo.
I've got to go to bed,
my mom's coming in.
- I've got to go to bed.
- Thanks for listening.
Okay. Drinks, food,
and I called you a cab.
- Good idea.
- Quiet, I have a little boy asleep.
Our company!
A little speech before I go.
Do not worry about your future.
You and your son are just fine.
You still have a job.
But let me tell you something
about Jerry Maguire.
You come after me,
and you will lose.
I am a survivor.
Dorothy Boyd, you are with
the Lord of the Living Room.
The King of the Kingdom
and I am ...
...drunk.
We meet again.
Here.
- Truth?
- Sure.
I care about the job, of course.
But mostly,
I just want to be inspired.
- Me, too.
- What you wrote inspired me.
I'm working with you
because of that memo.
I loved that memo.
It was a mission statement.
- Well .. .
- Sorry about the hand.
You know that feeling?
You're not completely embarrassed,
but you know tomorrow you will be?
- Don't worry about it, boss.
- Shit, you said "boss".
- Yeah, I did.
- Now I feel like Clarence Thomas.
I do.
- I'm harassing you right now.
- Well, I may not sue.
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
Don't worry.
I am going to take my one client,
and we are gonna go all the way.
Because... I'm back.
Don't worry.
Good catch.
- He needs a contract, Dennis.
- I'll be at The Crocodile at eight.
You bet.
What happened last night?
I thought I was your friend.
- Something came up.
- Okay. $ million for four years.
- You're dreaming.
- Ten for four.
- He's got an attitude problem.
- He listens to me.
- He's a shrimp.
- He broke all records last year.
I want a prototypical wide-receiver.
' ", lbs.
Not some shrimp who bitches.
Dennis, I'm asking you...
for a favour.
I introduced you to your wife.
We've spent Christmas together.
- Holiday cheer.
- Jerry, you're reaching.
I'm asking you for a favour.
We have history, Dennis.
We got history.
You drove the prices up.
- Now it's your turn to suffer.
- Dennis, don't...
I talked with Dennis Wilburn
about your renegotiation.
Talking?
Jerry Rice, Andre Reed,
Chris Carter, I smoked them all!
Yet they're making the big dollars,
the kwan... and you're talking.
- Kwan? That's your word?
- Yeah, that's my word.
Some dudes might have the coin,
but they'll never have the kwan.
It means love, respect, community,
and dollars, the entire package...
...the kwan.
- Great word... towel?
- No, I air-dry.
Listen, Rod... I say this
with great respect for you.
But those players you mentioned,
are marquee players.
- This deal...
- Marquee?
This is a renegotiation.
Show them your joy for the game.
Bury the attitude a little bit,
and show them...
- You're telling me to dance.
- No.
Get back to the guy
who first started playing this game.
Way back when you were a kid,
was it just about the money?
Was it?
Was it...?
Do your job.
Don't you tell me to dance.
I am an athlete.
I am not an entertainer!
I do not dance and I do not start
pre-season without a contract!
- Fine, fine, fine!
- Jerry, talk to me.
Breathe, Jerry.
I am out here for you.
You don't know what that's like.
It's an up-at-dawn,
pride-swallowing siege -
- that I will never
fully tell you about, okay?
God, help me.
Help me.
Help me... help you.
Help me help you.
I'm sorry.
You are hanging on
by a very thin thread.
I dig that about you.
No contract! Help me?
I'll help everybody.
- That's my man.
- Hey, I'm happy to entertain you.
- Help me!
- See you in Los Angeles.
Jerry... come on, man.
We ain't fighting,
we're finally talking.
Unless you love everybody,
you can't sell anybody.
Dennis Wilburn is faxing his offer
for Tidwell on Thursday morning.
- He said you'd be happy... glad.
- Happy or glad?
Glad. He said glad.
- Glad is good.
- We could sure use that commission.
I did a rundown
on where you stand financially.
- My condo was devalued.
- You don't have to explain.
The other night... I apologize.
- Yeah, what happened there?
- This is a working relationship.
Exactly.
The other night I was lonely.
I felt you understood something.
We've got a company to think about,
and I'll never try that again.
You walked out on a job for me...
Can this be right?
Exactly.
I know right now you need
to be alone with your thoughts.
Find out what's gone wrong
and fix it .. . alone.
Alone! Alone, alone.
- You want to go out to dinner?
- Great!
I broke up with that loser,
and then he started stalking me.
- What do you mean by stalking?
- Coming over uninvited.
Excuse me... Ladies.
Good evening,
I'm looking for Dorothy Boyd.
- She's in the kitchen.
- Laurel... Hello.
- Where are you taking her tonight?
- You're the nanny?
- Au pair.
- Au pair?
Jerry!
He likes you.
Ray, I've got some gifts for you.
Do you like presents?
Arizona Cardinals.
It's the team Rod plays for.
- Is that your laundry?
- Would you like a Steelers hat?
- I've got it in grey, too.
- Thanks, Jerry.
And I've got an energy bar.
This will keep you up all night.
That's not a good idea.
I'll take that.
Hey, it looks like you've got a fan.
That's more than a dress,
that's an Audrey Hepburn movie.
I got a bit revved up at the thought
of an evening among adults.
- Jerry, Chad. Chad, Jerry.
- Yeah... Am I dressed okay?
- Don't let him stay up too late.
- Tonight he'll learn about jazz.
Good,
that'll put him to sleep early.
I want to go too.
No, you stay here with Chad
and be good. Kiss me.
Let's go.
- Good night.
- Give me a hug.
- I'll meet you at the car.
- You forgot your keys.
Ray kissed him just like a dad!
Wasn't that thrilling?
He must have been needing that.
Don't cry at the start of a date,
just cry at the end, like I do.
Don't be a shoulder
for him to cry on, either.
Keys.
Oh dear...
Ever since you've met me,
I've been...
It was laziness,
my breakup with Avery.
It doesn't just happen.
Somebody is always to blame.
You work at it
like you do a job.
Maybe,
love shouldn't be such hard work.
Yeah, maybe so.
But it's not every day you say
goodbye to a woman like that.
A song for the lovers?
- No, no, we work together.
- This is like an office meeting.
I know what you mean.
It wasn't like my marriage to Roger
was any good, even before ...
Before...?
Jerry...
Let's not tell our sad stories.
I'll be back in just a second, okay?
They sting.
Let Chad catch the bee in the glass.
He won't hurt him.
You've got such a good heart.
- Well, this would be goodnight.
- Goodnight.
I'll see you tomorrow.
It's a big day.
- Well, goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Let me fix this.
- Good idea.
I think you should not come in.
Or... come in.
- Depending on how you feel.
- The same to you.
No, I have to go in.
I live here.
Right.
I'll come in.
Good.
Are you sure we want to do this?
Hell, yes!
- Did he have a good night?
- Yeah, he's asleep.
- How did it go with sport-boy?
- Still going.
All right.
Chad... how are you?
- Treat her right.
- Yeah...
She's great.
I know this might be awkward,
but I want you to use this.
God, Chad...
This is Miles Davis
and John Coltrane.
Stockholm .
Two masters of freedom, playing
before their art was corrupted -
- by cocktail-lounge performers
who destroyed this American legacy.
Jazz.
I've put some Mingus
on there, too.
- No barriers, no boundaries...
- Chad, I got it.
You know
this is gonna change everything.
Promise?
What is this muslc?
I love getting up in the morning
and beginning another great day!
Great!
Did you really need to do this?
- I'm getting him up, don't worry.
- What? I'm just waiting for coffee.
- Just tell me one thing.
- No.
I'm worried this guy may not have
an emotional marble in his head.
Laurel, if I start talking . ..
I took a chance, all right?
- This guy's on the bottom rung.
- Maybe I am taking advantage.
Does that make me a bad person?
Roger was popular and charming,
and not so nice to me, and he died.
Why should I let this guy go when
my body tells me that he's the one?
- I just wanted the fun details.
- Why didn't you say so?
Well, you might be interested
in this one little detail...
I love him.
I do! I love him,
and I don't care what you think.
I love him for the man he wants
to be, and for the man he almost is.
I love him, Laurel. I love him.
Hi, Jerry.
Act natural.
- Tell me he's not there.
- He's not there.
- Easy, ladies.
- Coffee, Jerry?
No, thanks. We bottom feeders
prefer cereal first.
- Let's have Apple Jacks.
- Apple Jacks it is.
Dorothy... good morning, darling.
- Good morning.
- What's going on?
A lot. We've got a big fax.
We need this commission.
Milk? Cheers.
That was really great of you,
this morning.
Let's just root for a big offer
so we can move into a real office.
Would you mind? Thanks a lot.
Shit!
. for three years?
We owe more than that!
- I'll get back to them.
- They're fucking us in the ass!
I'm sorry,
I'm a little pregnant right now.
- I feel like crying, Jerry.
- Don't take this so emotionally.
- We'll roll with the problem.
- Why are you so calm?
"Don't take it emotionally?"
You need to get emotional.
- Get me Bob Sugar on the phone.
- Marcee...
- You want to leave me?
- What exactly do you stand for?
- What do you stand for?
- How about integrity?
There's so much greed in the world
I don't know what to tell my son!
But this guy isn't yelling,
"Show me the money!"
Do you know he's broke
and working for you for free?
Broke! Broke, broke, broke.
- Sorry, I'm not so good at insults.
- That was pretty good.
Let me show you something.
- Here. Rod, read this.
- No, no, no...
This is important, Jerry.
- I appreciate this, but...
- You should be proud of that.
Tell me what to do. Tell me to eat
lima beans, I'll eat lima beans.
Tell me if this is the best
we can get... He's my agent.
I'll tell you what you're gonna do.
Reject that shitty contract.
Play out your existing contract,
and next year you're a free agent.
Baby, this is us. You and me.
We determine our worth.
You are a strong, proud,
surviving, splendid black man.
Marcee... you are the shit.
- If you get injured, you get zero.
- It won't happen.
Rod, it's a risk.
You bet on me, like I bet on you.
You know?
You know, baby?
- You're so crazy .. .
- I love you, baby.
- Let me kiss that head.
- Thank you.
I'm taking that job in San Diego.
You can't afford me.
- You can't afford me.
- I'll find something for Tidwell.
- I refuse to be a drain.
- We'll stay afloat.
We'll stay afloat. Don't leave.
- Rod, get on the camel.
- You've been on my ass all day.
- He's my client.
- Get him on the camel.
- We don't need a camel.
- It's a Camel Chevrolet.
- See? He's feeling my pain!
- Get on the camel.
- I'm pulling him from this.
- Just get rid of the camel.
- This isn't what I had in mind.
- Right, let's bounce.
Pulling him?
You begged me to hire him.
I know you needed that commission,
but this isn't exactly Reebok.
- Can I ask you a personal question?
- Are we gonna be friends now?
- Have you dated any single mothers?
- I was raised by a single mother.
I think, after this, she's gonna
have to take that job in San Diego.
First of all,
single mothers don't date.
They've been to the puppet show
and they've seen the strings.
Do you love her...?
Don't tell me you don't know.
I don't want her to go.
We've been hanging out a lot.
That's bullshit!
You've got to be fair to her.
Single mothers are a sacred thing.
You've got to have the talk.
She loves you. If you don't
love her, you've got to tell her.
The kid's amazing. He...
I feel you...
But a real man wouldn't shoplift
the pooty from a single mother.
I didn't shoplift the pooty.
All right, I shoplifted the pooty.
You know, John Coltrane
once said to Miles Davis...
When you say goodbye to him, just
be cool. What's meant to be will be.
You'll see each other. I'm losing
the only person who listens to me.
- Seriously.
- You're doing the right thing.
You need to start your life,
not cushion the fall for him.
I'm almost sympathetic to the guy.
Bye.
Listen, you're gonna
like it in San Diego, Ray.
Ray...
It's gonna be great there.
You'll make a lot of friends.
- I'll see you this weekend.
- Go ahead and go.
Go ahead and go.
- Are you okay to drive this?
- This rig? No problem.
- I'll see you this weekend.
- Get in the car.
I'll see you in a couple of days...
and I love you.
I love you, too... What?
- Nothing.
- I'll see you soon.
Look, if this weekend
should turn into next month, -
- and next month into whatever,
don't make a joke of your life.
Go back and read what you wrote.
You're better than the Bob Sugars.
Don't forget that.
- Wait a second.
- No! Oh, God.
- We can save on medical...
- Don't listen to him, Dorothy.
What if we stay together?
What if we got married?
- Would you stay?
- No, don't do that. Don't say that.
Well... say it if you want to.
Will you marry me?
What are you thinking?
Laurel! We're getting married.
Do you, Jerry Magulre,
take this woman to be your wife?
And do you, Dorothy Boyd,
take this man to be your husband?
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
I should go.
We did it.
We sure did.
You fuck this up, I'll kill you.
I'm glad we had this talk.
Look at them.
She is so beautiful.
I don't believe they taped this.
I'm gonna release this to ESPN.
- You think I'm joking.
- No, but I know where you live.
You didn't have the talk, did you?
No.
Well, this definitely
was another way to go.
Hey, Dorothy, come here.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Mr. and Mrs. Maguire.
We're gonna have a great season.
Hey, Scotty.
Tidwell did four for .
- Jerry... he's having a good game.
- You bet he is.
You're gonna miss him next year.
I've got a great team behind me
and I'm loving it.
- That's my mo-fo!
- Come here.
Be the first man in the family not
to say that, and we'll let you live.
Go kiss Daddy.
I saw you limping a little,
after the first quarter...
I twisted my ankle.
That went well.
Anybody else worth talking to?
Let's go.
- How's your head?
- Terrible.
How you doing, Rod? Tough game.
That quarterback sucks.
He's gonna get me killed.
My brains will be blown loose
before you get me my million.
You take care out on that field.
You're my entire client roster.
- Go home to your wife.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- What are you doing here?
- Giving you personal attention.
- You don't want to go home.
- What?
I'm just trying to talk to you.
How's your marriage?
The husband and wife thing,
how is that?
- Not everyone has what you have.
- Why did you get married?
- I'm just asking as a friend.
- You want an answer?
Loyalty... she was loyal.
Everything... grew from there.
It just... grew from there.
- That's an answer?
- That's the answer.
It's not sexy...
but that's an answer.
"Tell him what he's won, Bob.
A beautiful marriage!" Shit!
I'm happy to entertain you,
as always, Rod.
I have a question for you.
Are we really friends?
You know, friends can tell
each other anything, right?
I'll tell you why you don't
have your $ million.
You play for the money. You play
with your head, not your heart.
When you get on the field,
it's all about what you didn't get.
Who's to blame. Who's got
the contract you didn't get.
That is not what inspires people!
Shut up!
Play the game from your heart.
Then I'll show you the kwan.
And that's the truth!
Can you handle it?
It's just a question from a friend.
When they call you "shrimp",
I'm the one who defends you!
I don't want to be friends no more.
And quit using that word kwan.
- I'll see you in L.A.
- No heart?
I'm all heart, motherfucker!
- How many concussions has he had?
- I can't get no respect.
I went to see this so-called
black film the other day.
No more salt for you. The biggest
game of the season is coming up.
minutes of coming attractions.
All black films and all violent.
- Brothers shooting brothers .. .
- I hate you going out alone.
- Oh, baby .. .
- My Pisces queen.
I hate seeing movies without you.
I won't do it anymore, okay?
- Baby.
- Baby!
- Now?
- Baby now!
- Ray, it's time to go.
- Do you take Visa? Take it!
What were you thinking tonight,
watching them go through that?
I was thinking,
"I hope he doesn't get injured."
Sometimes I can't tell at all what's
going on in that head of yours.
- And I don't know your noises yet.
- Well, when you wonder, ask me.
Okay, I will.
I thought I just did.
- Why do you love me?
- Why do you love me?
- Jerry, can I come and watch TV?
- Just for a few minutes.
- He's not going anywhere.
- I know.
- Can we talk about somethlng else?
- No, I'm incapable of small talk.
But that's why you love me, right?
I'm about personal attention.
I'm available to you hours a day.
I'll be in Phoenix tomorrow
for Monday Night Football.
I can be in Indiana
by : Tuesday morning.
I don't need an answer now.
I'll call you tomorrow.
All right, thank you, Marilee.
Indiana, Tuesday.
I'll be there.
- It's my fault.
- What?
It's not fair to you,
this whole thing.
Come here.
Tell me, let me help.
I took advantage of you and
I did it with the help of a kid.
I was just on some wild ride.
I thought...
I thought I was in love enough
for both of us.
I jumped at your proposal
when it was still just hypothetical.
I did this, and at least
I can do something about it now.
I'm not a guy who runs.
I stick.
- I don't need you to stick.
- What do you want? My soul?
- Why not? I deserve that.
- What if I'm not built that way?
- I think we made a mistake.
- What if it's true?
Great at friendship,
bad at intimacy.
That's the theme
of my bachelor film.
I know, I watched lt.
I know it by heart.
- I don't like to give up.
- Please...
My need to make the best of things,
and your need to be responsible ...
If we don't do something now, we
could lose ten years being polite.
Let's just call this next road trip
what it really is:
A nice long break.
What about Ray?
Well, you'll be friends.
- Friends?
- Yes.
- Of course you'll be friends.
- I'll take him to the zoo.
- So this break is a breakup.
- Come on, this isn't easy for me.
On the surface
everything looks fine.
I've got this great guy,
and he loves my kid.
And he sure does like me a lot.
And I can't live like that.
It's not how I'm built.
If this is empty,
this doesn't matter.
It was just a mission statement.
Hey, Rod, how are you doing?
How's it going?
Go.
- Where's your agent?
- I don't know.
You belong with the big boys.
You belong with the big money.
- You're Rod Tidwell!
- Get away from my guy.
- I was just handling it.
- Just go. Flee.
This is a nice moment for you.
I'm gonna let you have it.
Give me a call, Rod.
Say hi to Marcee.
- Thanks for coming.
- I missed you.
What can I say?
You're all I've got.
This is Frank Gifford in Tempe,
Arizona's Sun Devil Stadium.
The Cardinals are still alive
for a play-off spot.
The reason for that is the
outstandlng play of Rod Tidwell.
The Dallas Cowboys are on a roll.
They know they're in the play-offs.
If Arizona wins tonight
and next week, -
- they'll make the play-offs
for the flrst time in years.
You'd better not mess up tonight.
What did I say? He's always
nervous for televised games.
The Cowboys contlnue their mlssion
on Monday Night Football.
Hey, Shannon.
Great column this morning.
What a bruiser.
The Cardinals just refuse to go
quietly into the desert night.
I'm just trying
to be a little poetic.
A tough hit on Tidwell.
- I'd have made a touchdown.
- That's his sixth catch tonlght.
A first down
at the yard line.
- Another savage hit on Tidwell.
- They're really working Tidwell.
- What does Daddy always say?
- It looks worse than it is.
- He's gonna kill himself.
- Will you be quiet!
Two minutes to play.
Dallas leading by three.
Second down and one,
at the Dallas yard line.
Down he goes for a slx yard loss.
Good move.
Swenson had too many men
in that pattern.
razor,
X-out on one, ready?
They had a chance there.
But from second and one
they've gone to third and seven.
Dallas Arizona .
Tidwell in motion.
Moving back to his left.
Swenson puts one into the endzone.
Tidwell Touchdown Cardinals!
Tidwell held onto the football,
but he's still down on the ground.
He hit the ground hard, but managed
to maintain control of the football.
- He's hurt, too.
- He's not getting up.
- Look at the players' faces.
- Get up, baby.
The trainer ls on the field. It was
Tidwell's ninth catch of the night.
Can you hear me, Rod?
Commercial! Show me what's wrong
with my husband.
I told you he was
too small for the NFL.
- I'm just stating the truth.
- Tee Pee, shut up!
Can't you be loyal to your brother?
Get the hell out of my house!
Hello? Hold on.
It's Jerry Maguire.
Punk!
- Jerry, I am freaking out.
- Marcee, he's unconscious.
Just stay calm.
I'll call you back.
There are good doctors here.
- I cannot stay calm.
- Stay calm.
Your family needs you to stay calm.
My whole life is this family,
and it does not work without him!
All eyes here at Sun Devil Stadium
are focused on Rod Tidwell.
Just do whatever you can
to get Rod to me.
Do whatever you can.
Please, Jerry.
At a time like thls, you just hope
his familly is not watching this.
It could be his neck.
It could be his back.
Blink! Wake up!
Rod! Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Do you know where you are?
The trainer is still trying
to revive Tidwell.
- Rod...?
- Let's get him off the field.
- No...
- Get him off the field.
Wait, wait...
Let me enjoy this for a minute.
We're looking for some movement.
Is that his head coming up?
He's trying to get up.
He is getting up.
- The whole stadium is standing.
- He's up on his feet.
Here's a guy who's normally
very truculent with the media.
Rod, we're happy for you, buddy.
- Congratulations, Jerry.
- Thank you.
Congratulations.
Jerry... Maguire!
I know.
Where's Jerry?
- We did it.
- You did it.
Why don't we have
that kind of relationship?
Is that your phone or mine?
Dorothy?
Marcee... No, he's right here.
We did it. I love you so much!
I love you!
I love you, Tyson.
How's the baby?
The problem is, like you
were saying, the biorhythms.
The neural pathways are set,
so it's hard for people to change.
I'm sorry, these stupid holidays
are making me feel more divorced.
The songs, the chocolate...
I have a confession to make.
I've listened to you all
tell a thousand sob-stories.
Maybe you're all correct.
Men are the enemy.
But I still love the enemy.
Hello.
I'm looking for my wife.
Wait...
If this is where it has to happen,
then this is where it has to happen.
I'm not letting you get rid of me.
How about that?
This used to be my specialty.
I was good in a living room.
And now, I just...
Tonight... our little company
had a very big night.
A very, very big night.
But it wasn't complete.
It wasn't nearly close
to being complete.
I couldn't share it with you.
I couldn't hear your voice.
I couldn't laugh about it with you.
I missed my... I missed my wife.
We live in a cynical world.
And we work in a business
of tough competitors.
I love you. You... complete me.
- And I just...
- Shut up!
You had me at "hello".
What a great discussion group.
Your father leaves home
on Christmas Eve.
Your mother had to sweep up
to pay your tuition.
Your brother lost a leg.
You've had a pretty horrific life.
- I'm not gonna cry, Roy.
- Well, I've got some good news.
I've got a contract here from the
Arizona Cardinals. Four years.
$ . million and you'll get
to play in your home state.
What do think of that?
I love everybody.
I love my wife! Marcee!
I love my kids.
Tyson and my new baby.
My older brother and
my younger brother Tee Pee.
You're militant, but I love you.
- I love my teammates.
- We only have a half-hour show.
Jerry... Congratulations.
Good for you.
- Hi, Jerry, you remember Troy.
- Yeah, we met in ' .
I enjoyed your memo.
- The Cardinals finally came around.
- We're out of time.
Wait, I'm forgetting somebody.
Jerry Maguire, my agent.
You are my ambassador
of kwan, man.
Rod, thank you...
We'll be right back.
- How did you like the zoo, buddy?
- It was great!
Hey, kid, throw the ball.
- Did you see?
- Oh, no... Let's go.
What? He won't make
the major leagues tomorrow.
But you can see he's got talent
and I know the right people...
I don't have all the answers.
In life, I've failed
as much as I've succeeded.
But I love my wife, I love life,
and I wish you my kind of success.