Voila! Finally, the Kill Bill
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie by Quentin
Tarantino starring Uma Thurman, Vivica Fox, David Carradine, Michael Madsen, etc. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Kill Bill. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Do you find me sadistic?
You know, I bet I could fry
an egg on your head right now.
If I wanted to.
You know, kiddo...
I'd like to believe
you're aware enough, even now,
to know that there is nothing
sadistic in my actions.
Maybe towards those other jokers.
But not you.
No, kiddo.
At this moment...
This is me..
...at my most masochistic.
Bill...
It's your baby.
Coming!
Sarah, cannot believe you are early.
What you going to do now, huh?!
What you got?!
Got your ass.
Wrap it up! Come on!
Okay. Come on, bitch.
Come on.
Bring it on.
- Mommy, I'm home.
- Hey, baby.
How was school?
Mommy, what happened to you
and the TV room?
Your good-for-nothing dog got into
the living room and acted a damn fool.
That's what happened baby.
Barney did this?
Baby. Now, you can't come in here.
There's broken glass everywhere and
you could cut yourself.
This is an old friend of Mommy's
I ain't seen in a long time.
Hi, honey.
I'm [BEEP] What's your name?
Her name is Nikki.
Nikki.
Such a pretty name
for such a pretty girl.
How old are you, Nikki?
Nikki.
[BEEP] asked you a question.
I'm .
years old, eh?
You know, I had a little girl once.
She'd be about now.
Now baby, me and Mommy's friend
got some grown-up talk to talk about.
So go in your room now and leave us
alone til I tell you to come out.
Okay?
Nikkia!
ln your room. Now.
You want some coffee?
Yeah. Sure.
This Pasadena homemaker's name
is Jeanne Bell.
Her husband is
Dr. Lawrence Bell.
But back when we were acquainted four
years ago, her name was Vernita Green.
Her code name was Copperhead.
Mine, Black Mamba.
Do you have a towel?
Yeah.
Thanks.
- You still take cream and sugar right?
- Yeah.
So suppose it's a little late
for an apology, huh?
You suppose correctly.
Look, bitch...
I need to know if you're going to
start any more shit around my baby girl.
You can relax for now.
I'm not going to murder you
in front of your child, okay?
That's being more rational than Bill
led me to believe you were capable of.
lt's mercy, compassion
and forgiveness I lack.
Not rationality.
Look.
I know I fucked you over.
I fucked you over bad.
I wish to God I hadn't, but I did.
You have every right
to want to get even.
No no, no, no, no.
No. To get even, even-steven...
I would have to kill you...
...go up to Nikkis room, kill her...
...then wait for your husband, the good
Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him.
That would be even Vernita
That'd be about square.
Look, if I could go back in a machine,
I would. But I can't.
All can tell you is
that I'm a different person now.
Oh great. I don't care.
Be that as it may, I know I don't
deserve your mercy or your forgiveness.
However, I beseech you for both
on behalf of my daughter.
Bitch, you can stop right there.
Just because I have no wish to murder
you in front of your daughter...
...doesn't mean that parading her around
in front of me will inspire sympathy.
You and I have unfinished business.
And not a goddamned thing you've done
in the subsequent four years...
...including getting knocked up
is going to change that.
So when do we do this?
It all depends.
When do you want to die?
Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?
- How about tonight, bitch?
- Splendid. Where?
There's a baseball diamond where I coach
Litte League about a mile from here.
We meet there around :
in the morning dressed all in black.
Your hair in a black stocking.
And we have us a knife fight.
We won't be bothered.
Now...
...I have to fix Nikkis cereal.
Bill always said you were one of
the best ladies with an edged weapon.
Fuck you bitch.
I know he didn't qualify that shit.
So you can just kiss
my motherfucking ass, Black Mamba.
Black Mamba.
I should have been mother fucking
Black Mamba.
Weapon of choice? lf you want to stick
with your butcher knife, that's fine by me.
Very funny, bitch.
Very funny.
lt was not my intention to do this
in front of you.
For that, I'm sorry.
But you can take my word for it.
Your mother had it coming.
When you grow up...
...if you still feel raw about it...
...I'll be waiting.
For those regarded as warriors...
...when engaged in combat...
...the vanquishing of thine enemy can be
the warriors only concern.
Suppress all human emotions
and compassion...
...kill whoever stands in thy way,
even if that be Lord God,
or Buddha himself.
This truth lies at the heart of
the art of combat...
...and next, we got some record.
Very own wildman, Charlie Feathers.
We I give me the gory details,
Son Number One.
lt's a goddamn massacre, Pop.
They wiped out the whole wedding party,
execution-style.
Give me a figure.
Nine dead bodies.
And we're talking the whole shebang.
Bride, groom...
...reverend, reverend's wife.
Hell, they even shot that old colored
fella that plays the organ.
Seems like someone objected to the union
and wasn't able to hold their peace.
Good gravy, Marie.
What'd I tell you, Pop?
Looks like a goddamn Nicaraguan
death squad.
You better shit-can that blasphemy boy.
You in a house of worship.
Sorry, Pop.
This is the work of professionals.
I'd guesstimate Mexican mafia hit squad.
Four, maybe five strong.
How can you tell?
Well a sure and steady hand did this.
This ain't no squirrelly amateur.
This is the work of a salty dog.
You can tell by the cleanness
of the carnage.
Now a kill-crazy rampage
though it may be...
...all the colors are kept
inside the line.
lf you was a moron,
you could almost admire it.
Who's the bride?
Don't know.
The name on the marrage certificate
is Arlene Machiavelli.
That's a fake.
We've al just been calling her
"The Bride" on account of the dress.
You can tell she was pregnant.
He must be a mad dog to shoot a goddamn
good-looking gal like that in the head.
Look at her.
Hay-colored hair,
big eyes.
She's a little blood-splattered angel.
- Son Number One?
- Yeah?
This tall drink of cocksucker
ain't dead.
I might never have liked you.
Point in fact, I despise you.
But that shouldn't suggest
that I don't respect you.
Dying in our sleep...
...is a luxury that our kind is rarely
afforded.
My gift to you.
For fucks sake.
Hello Bill.
What's her condition?
Comatose.
Where is she?
I'm standing over her right now.
That's my girl.
Elle, you will abort the mission.
What?!
We owe her better than that.
Oh you don't owe her shit.
Will you keep your voice down?
You don't owe her shit!
May I say one thing?
Speak.
Y'all beat the hell out of that woman,
but you didn't kill her.
And I put a bullet in her head
but her heart just kept on beating.
Now you saw that your self with your
own beautiful blue eye.
Did you not?
We've done a lot of things
to this lady.
And if she ever wakes up, we'll
do a whole lot more.
But one thing we won't do...
...is sneak into her room in the night
like a filthy rat...
...and kill her in her sleep.
And the reason we won't do that
thing...
...is because that thing
would lower us.
Don't you agree, Miss Driver?
I guess.
Do you really have to guess?
No. I don't really have to guess.
I know.
Come on home, honey.
Affirmative.
I love you very much.
I love you too.
Bye-bye.
Thought that was pretty fucking funny,
didn't you?
Word of advice, shithead.
Don't you ever wake up.
This moment, this is me...
...at my most masochistic.
Bill, it's your baby.
My baby.
Four years. Four years.
Price is $ a fuck, my friend.
- You getting your freak on, or what?
- Oh, yeah, boy.
. Yeah.
Now here's the rules.
Rule number one: No punching her.
Nurse comes in tomorrow and she got
a shiner or less teeth, jig's up.
So no knuckle sandwiches
under no circumstances.
And by the way, this cunt's a spitter.
lt's a motor reflex thing.
But spit or no, no punching.
We absolutely clear on
rule number one?
- Yeah
- Good.
Now, rule number two: No monkey
bites, no hickeys. In fact -
no leaving no marks of no kind.
After that, it's all good, buddy.
Her plumbing don't work no more so
come in her all you want.
Keep the noise down. Try not to make
a mess. I'll be back in .
Yeah.
Oh! Shit. By the way,
sometimes this chick's cooch can get
drier than a bucket of sand.
lf she dry, just lube up with this
and you'll be good to go.
Bon appètit, good buddy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, goddamn, you are the best-looking
girl I've had today.
Yo, stud! Time's up, buddy.
I'm coming in, ready or not.
Good buddy, did you have your self
a good time man?
Whoa.
Where's Bill?
Where's Bill?!
- Please stop hitting me
- Where's Bill?
- I don't know who Bill is!
- Bullshit!
Well, ain't you the slice of cutie
pie they said you was?
Jane Doe. We don't know shit
about you.
Well, I'm from Huntsville, Texas.
My name's Buck and I'm here to fuck.
Your name's Buck. Right?
And you came here to fuck. Right?
"Pussy Wagon"
You fucker.
Texas. Okay.
Wiggle your big toe.
Wiggle your big toe.
Wiggle your big toe.
Wiggle your big toe.
Wiggle your big toe.
As I lay in Buck's truck trying
to will my limbs out of entropy...
Wiggle your big toe.
I saw the faces of the cunts who
did this to me and the dick responsible.
Members all of Bill's brainchild.
The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.
When fortune smiles on something
as violent and ugly as revenge...
...it seems proof like no other
that not only does God exist...
...you're doing his will.
At a tie when I knew the least about
my enemies...
...the first name on my death
list, O-Ren lshii...
...was the easiest to find.
But when one manages the hard task
of becoming queen of Tokyo's underworld.
...one doesn't keep it a secret,
does one?
O-Ren lshii was born on an American
military base in Tokyo, Japan.
The half-Japanese half
Chinese-American army brat...
...made her first acquaintance with
death at the age of .
lt was at that age she witnessed
the death of her parents...
...at the hands of Japan's most
ruthless yakuza boss.
Boss Matsumoto.
Mommy.
She swore revenge.
Luckily for her, Boss Matsumoto
was a pedophile.
At she got her revenge.
Look at me Matsumoto...
...take a good look at my face.
Look at my eyes.
Look at my nose.
Look at my chin.
Look at my mouth.
Do I look familiar?
Do I look like somebody you murdered.
By she was one of the top female
assassins in the world.
At she did her part in the killing
of nine innocent people...
...including my unborn daughter...
...in a small wedding chapel
in El Paso, Texas.
But on that day four years ago...
...she made one big mistake.
She should have killed ten.
However, before satisfaction
would be mine...
...first things first.
Wiggle your big toe.
Hard part's over.
Now, let's get these other piggies
wiggling.
Welcome to Air O. May I help you?
Okinawa. One-way.
Hi.
Welcome...
Welcome.
You English?
Almost. American.
American. Welcome, welcome.
My English very good.
You said "domo".
Can you speak Japanese?
No, no. Just a few words I learned
since yesterday.
- May I sit at the bar?
- Oh, sure sure sure. Please, sit.
What other words did you learn?
Just a minute.
We have a customer.
Bring out some tea, quickly.
I'm watching my soap operas.
Oh, shit.
Lazy bastard...
Screw your soap opera....
hurry up.
The teas hot. Why don't you
serve it yourself for once?
Shut up! Get your ass out here!
Excuse me.
What other Japanese do you know?
Oh, let's see.
Good.
I already said "domo", right?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Please repeat.
Perfect. Good, good, good.
You say Japanese word
like you're Japanese.
- Now you're making fun of me.
- No. Serious business.
Pronunciation very good.
You say "arigato"
like we say "arigato".
Well, thank you. I mean, ariga to.
You should learn Japanese.
Very easy.
- No kidding? I heard it was kind of hard.
- Most difficult.
But, you have Japanese tongue.
Oh my God.
Hey, what the hell happened to the tea.
Hurry up... goddamit.
Lazy bastard...
What'd ya want?
I beg your pardon?
Drink.
Oh yes, a bottle of warm sake, please.
Warm sake? Very good.
One warm sake!
Sake? ln the middle of the day?
- Day, night afternoon
Who gives a damn. Get the sake.
How come I always have to
get the sake?
You listen well...
For thirty years you make the fish.
I get the sake.
If this were the military,
I'd be General by now.
Oh, so you'd be General huh?
If you were General, I'd be Emperor,
and you'd still get the sake.
So shut up and get the sake!
Do you understand?
I'm not bald, okay? I shaved my head.
Do you under stand?
Sorry.
First time in Japan?
What brings you to Okinawa?
I came to see a man.
Oh, yeah?
You have a friend live in Okinawa?
Not quite.
Not friend?
- I never met him.
- Never?
Who is he may I ask?
Hattori Hanzo.
What do you want with
Hattori Hanzo?
I need Japanese steel.
Why do you need Japanese steel?
I have vermin to kill.
You must have big rats
you need Hattori Hanzo's steel.
Huge.
May I?
You may.
Wait.
Try the second one down.
Funny...
...you like samurai swords.
I like baseball.
I wanted to show you these.
However someone as you, who knows
so much, must surely know...
...I no longer make instruments
of death.
What I have here I keep for
their aesthetic and sentimental value.
Yet proud as I am
of my life's work...
...I have retired.
Then give me one of these.
These are not for sale.
I didn't say "sell me"
I said "give me".
Why should I help you?
Because my vermin
is a former student of yours.
And considering the student...
I'd say you have a rather large
obligation.
You can sleep here.
lt will take me a month
to make the sword.
I suggest you spend it practicing
I've completed doing...
...what I swore an oath to God
years ago,
to never do again.
I have created,
"something that kills people".
And in that purpose, I was a success.
I've done this because philosophically,
I am sympathetic to your aim.
I can tell you with no ego,
this is my finest sword.
If on your journey,
you should encounter God...
...God will be cut.
Yellow-haired warrior. Go.
It was one year after the massacre
in El Paso, Texas...
...that Bill backed his Nippon progeny
financially and philosophically...
...in her Shakespearian-like power
struggle with the other yakuza clans...
...over who would rule vice in
the city of Tokyo.
When the final sword was sheathed...
...it was O-Ren Ishii
and her powerful posse...
...The Crazy that proved the victor.
The pretty lady to O-Ren's right, who's
dressed like a villain on Star Trek...
...is O-Ren's lawyer, best friend
and second lieutenant...
...the half-French, half-Japanese
Sofie Fatale.
Another former protègèe of Bill's.
The young girl in the schoolgirl
uniform is O-Ren's personal bodyguard...
... -year-old Gogo Yubari.
Gogo may be young but what she lacks
in age, she makes up for in madness.
Do you like Ferraris?
Ferrari... Italian trash.
Do you want to screw me?
Don't laugh
Do you want to screw me, yes or no?
Yes.
How 'bout now, big boy?
Do you still wish to penetrate me...
...or is it I...
who has penetrated you?
See what I mean?
The bald guy in the black suit
and the Kato mask is Johnny Mo...
...the head general of O-Ren's
personal army, The Crazy .
And just in case you were wondering...
...how could a half-breed
Japanese-Chinese American...
...become the boss of all bosses in
Tokyo, Japan?
I'll tell you.
The subject of O-Ren's blood and
nationality...
...came up before the council
only once.
The night O-Ren assumed power
over the crime council.
The man who seems bound and determined
to break the mood is Boss Tanaka.
And what Boss Tanaka thinks is...
Boss Tanaka.
What's the meaning of this outburst?
This is a time for celebration.
And what exactly are we celebrating?
The perversion of
our illustrious council?
Tanaka, have you gone mad?
I will not tolerate this!
You're disrespecting our sister.
Apologize.
Tanaka-San,
of what perversion do you speak?
My father along with yours, and
along with yours, started this council.
And while...
...you laugh like stupid donkeys
they weep in the afterlife...
Shut up!
...over the perversion
committed today!
Outrageous! Tanaka, it is you
who insults this council.
Bastard!
Fuck face!
Gentlemen.
Tanaka obviously has something
on his mind.
By all means, allow him to express it.
I speak, of the perversion done
to this council,
which I love....
...more than my own children,
by making a Chinese Jap-American
half breed bitch it's leader!
So that you understand
how serious I am...
...I'm going to say this in English.
As your leader...
...I encourage you, from time to time,
and always in a respectful manner...
...to question my logic.
If you're unconvinced a particular plan
I've decided is the wisest, tell me so.
But allow me to convince you...
...and I promise you right here and
now no subject will ever be taboo.
Except of course the subject that was
just under discussion.
The price you pay...
...for bringing up either my Chinese
or American heritage as a negative is:
I collect your fucking head.
Just like this fucker here.
Now if any of you sons of bitches got
anything else to say...
...now's the fucking time!
I didn't think so.
Gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned.
One ticket to Tokyo, please.
Gogo.
You have to say "Yes, yes, yes" to
any selfish demands they make.
They demand ridiculous things.
Shut up... Do you know what would
happen if they heard you?
- What's gonna happen?
- Did you hear about the Tanaka clan?
You're gonna get your head
chopped off.
No, I don't want that.
Yes, it's me.
And if you give us a contact number,
we will get back to you.
Hey You!
Who do you remind me of?
Charlie Brown!
You're right, he does look like
Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown,
Four pepperoni pizzas.
- That's not on our menu...
- I don't care, bring them, goddammit!
Hey... hey...
Charlie, give me a kiss.
O-Ren Ishii!
You and I have unfinished business.
Charlie Brown, beat it.
Miki.
TEAR THE BITCH APART!
So, O-Ren...
...any more subordinates
for me to kill?
Hi.
Gogo, right?
Bingo.
And you're Black Mamba.
Our reputations precede us.
Don't they?
Gogo...
...I know you feel you must protect
your mistress...
...but I beg you...
...walk away.
You call that begging?
You can beg better than that.
Is that what I think it is?
You didn't think it would be that easy,
did you?
You know,
for a second there...
...yeah, I kind of did.
"Silly rabbit."
"Trix are for kids."
This is what you get for fucking
around with the yakuzas.
Go home to your mother!
Those of you lucky enough to still
have your lives take them with you.
However...
...leave the limbs you've lost.
They belong to me now.
Except you, Sofie!
You stay right where you are.
Your instrument is quite impressive.
Where was it made?
Okinawa.
Whom in Okinawa made you this steel?
This is Hattori Hanzo steel.
YOU LIE!
Swords however, never get tired.
I hope you've saved your energy.
If you haven't...
...you might not last five minutes.
But as last looks go,
you could do worse.
Silly Caucasian girl likes to play
with samurai swords.
You may not be able to fight
like a samurai...
...but you can at least die
like a samurai.
Attack me...
...with everything you have.
For ridiculing you earlier...
...I apologize.
Accepted.
Ready?
Come on.
That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword.
Sofie.
Sofie.
My Sofie. I'm so sorry.
Please. Please forgive my betrayal.
No more of that.
But still...
But still nothing...
...except my aching heart...
...over what she's done to my
beautiful and brilliant Sofie.
I've kept you alive for two reasons.
First reason is information.
Burn in Hell you stupid, stupid blonde.
I'll tell you nothing.
But I am going to ask you questions.
And every time you don't give me
answers...
...I'm going to cut something off.
And I promise you...
...they will be things you will miss.
Give me your other arm!
I want all the information on
the Deadly Vipers.
- If you had to guess...
- What they've been doing...
- ...why she left you alive...
- ...and where I can find them.
...what would be your guess?
Guessing won't be necessary.
She informed me.
She said I could keep my wicked life
for two reasons.
As I said before...
...I've alowed you to keep your
wicked life for two reasons.
And the second reason is...
...so you can tell him, in person,
everything that happened here tonight.
I want him to witness the extent of
my mercy...
...by witnessing your deformed body.
I want you to tell him all
the information you just told me.
I want him to know what I know.
I want him to know I want him to know.
And I want them all to know...
...they'll all soon be as dead as O-Ren.
Revenge is never a straight line.
It's a forest.
And like a forest
it's easy to lose your way...
...to get lost...
to forget where you came in.
That woman...
...deserves her revenge.
And...
...we deserve to die.
She must suffer to her last breath.
How did you find me?
I'm the man.
One more thing Sofie.
Is she aware her daughter
is still alive?