Voila! Finally, the Kolya
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Academy award
winning movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Kolya. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
[ Wind Blowing ]
[ Orchestra ]
[ Whistling ]
[ Whistling Stops ]
[ Song Ends ]
The Lord is
My shepherd
[ Orchestra Intro Note ]
I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down
In green pastures
He leadeth me
Beside the still--
[ Singer Yelps ]
Still waters
He restoreth my soul
Thy rod
And Thy staff
Pig! Grow up, can't you?
Coffee, anyone?
- Franta?
- No, I'm in a hurry.
Another job?
You must be rolling in it.
Can you lend me
a hundred 'til Monday?
- You'll get it back.
- I know. Or else I wouldn't lend it.
[ Bell Dings ]
[ Organ Playing Softly ]
Finally!
Now, this car is ideal.
- So practical.
- Get a Trabant, at least.
How much is a Trabant?
- New or used?
- Used.
- You'd need a hatchback.
Twenty, twenty-five thousand.
- [ Whistles ]
Hold on, hold on.
[ Horn Honks ]
I'm going, idiot!
They sure looked better
from behind.
I didn't look back.
So for me, they'll be beautiful forever.
[ Laughter]
Bills, bills!
Greedy vultures,
the lot of you.
Hi, Helenka?
This is Louka.
I suddenly
felt so lonely,
so guess who
I thought of?
That's right, you.
Helenka,
you wouldn't be scared
of a night in my tower?
To the theater?
Of course I'm not mad.
How could I be?
No, get going then. Bye.
[ Dialing ]
Zuzi?
It's me, Louka.
Zuzi, I suddenly
felt so lonely,
so guess who I thought of?.
You, of course.
Oh, he's home?
Okay. Yeah. Bye.
''Socialism:
Our Unwavering Security''
[ Radio Announcer ]
Czechoslovak socialism
is undergoing cosmetic democratization.
Economically insufficient,
it has no regard for human dignity.
The system is nearing collapse.
''Trabant, needs much work.
Twenty thousand.''
Crooks!
This is Radio Free Europe.
Good morning.
Good morning.
I'd say that inscription
needs restoring.
It's the rain.
- I could do it for you.
- What do you mean?
- I restore headstones.
- How much would it be, altogether?
Well, it's not that long.
[ Mumbling ]
Thirty-six letters.
That would be crowns.
Oh, my.
Why is it so expensive?
Because there's
real gold dust in there.
See how it glitters?
It's real gold.
Pity there are two T's in his name.
You could've saved five crowns.
Franta!
He maketh me to lie down
In green pastures
He leadeth me
Beside the still waters
[ Continues ]
[ Organ Continues ]
[ Sighing ] Do you know how long
I've waited for this, Louka?
Two years.
Since Hajkova's funeral.
- That's awful.
-Such a long time! [ Hiccups ]
No, it's awful...
that we measure time
in funerals, like undertakers.
- You were never married, were you?
- No.
My late father always said...
if you want a musical career,
don't get married.
- Music means celibacy.
- [ Hiccups ]
- Do you have hiccups?
- Yes, always afterwards.
When it's that good.
Always afterwards.
You know what?
Bite on your left pinky.
It puts pressure
on the hiccupping points.
- [ Hiccups ]
- Or try lifting your left leg...
at the same time
as your right arm...
so the blood drains out.
- They say that works too.
- [ Chuckles ]
First time I heard that one.
-[ Tapping ]
- What's that noise?
It's the pigeons.
Sharpening their beaks
on the window sill.
- [ Sighs ]
- [ Hiccups ]
Wait, I think I got it backwards.
The other way.
Lift up your leg.
- That's my right leg.
- Okay, right leg and left arm.
[ Laughing ] Why did they toss you
out of the Philharmonic...
[ Clears Throat ]
when you play so well?
- I don't feel like talking about it.
- Then don't.
You know what?
It works.
- I told you it would.
-[ Tapping ]
Why are they sharpening
their beaks?
Why?
Now, that one I can explain.
To make them sharp.
You're such a jerk !
[ Laughs, Hiccups ]
[ Car Approaching ]
- Hail, comrade!
-And God bless you too.
I've loads of orders for you.
Three in gold,
two in silver.
Here you are.
It's all written down.
Those are the grave numbers.
Mr. Broz, a gravedigger like you
brings joy to the whole cemetery.
You're doing it so well.
I'm trying
not to smudge it.
I'm telling you!
Don't do it!
You only owe me
crowns now.
I'm doing my best.
I really need a car to earn more.
We could sort out
the car problem.
Yes, but how would
I pay for it?
I have a wonderful job for you.
Money like you never saw.
for a day's work.
-Straight into your pocket.
- Daddy, Daddy.
Andy has a tick
and it's real big.
Give him here.
Do you have
a pet at home?
No, no pets.
Do you have a kid at least?
- No kids, either.
- What do you have?
Go play, girls.
I'll deal with the tick.
I won't beat around the bush.
It's a marriage.
- I have this old ''aunt.''
- No, Mr. Broz.
I won't marry.
Certainly not some old aunt.
- She's Russian.
- Even worse.
It's not the aunt.
It's her niece.
Not even a niece,
Mr. Broz.
It would be a fake marriage.
- No, I'm against marriage,
in any shape or form.
- [ Whimpering ]
- Cheers, cheers.
- He's right.
Cheers, Mr. Louka.
This niece
needs Czech papers...
to avoid being
sent back to Russia.
There it is.
Sounds fishy.
It's not for me.
Now to cremate the parasite.
Divorce in six months.
You'll be free as a bird.
- Is Andy here?
- He had a tick.
- I thought I'd lost you.
- We're talking business.
- You know how I feel about this.
- Don't worry.
-Just shut the door.
-[ Door Closes ]
The wedding's just for show.
For appearances.
For grand, Mr. Louka.
- Before you said .
- She'd willingly pay you .
You could buy a car
and still repay me .
It's better than
renovating headstones.
Graves, graves.
Screw this job.
I see you've got
lots of pets.
A gravedigger has to have
living things around him.
Her name is Nadezhda.
It's just business.
- Deal?
- I can't, Mr. Broz.
It's not for me.
[ Intermittent Squeaking ]
- [ Squeaking ]
- Franta, stop that!
[ Squeaking ]
Come to see your mother,
have you?
- Hello!
- Hello!
[ Piano ]
Franta!
Come again on Tuesday
and practice!
Today it was
pretty miserable.
- [ Clock Chimes ]
- I had a feeling you'd come.
Guess what I've made for lunch.
Potato dumplings.
I was in the pharmacy.
I said, I'll make him dumplings.
- That's great, Mom.
- Vitulka wrote.
It's in the bureau.
Read it aloud
if you're reading it.
Maybe later.
Sometimes I think
you don't like your brother.
What did he do to you?
What he did was leave.
You can't hold anything against him.
He went there with nothing...
and now he has
a good business.
Meanwhile,
I've got crap.
But you'll have money again, Franta.
You're a virtuoso player.
You'll get back on your feet again.
Eat up. There's more.
Mr. Holocek says
that we need new gutters.
- New gutters?
- Yes, he said they've rusted through.
He said that
would cover...
materials and labor.
How am I going
to get the money?
This house has cleaned me out.
I had to sell my car.
I'm in debt.
- Where am I going to get the money?
- Don't talk that way.
You know the house is yours...
now you've bought
your brother's share.
If you hadn't, we'd have lost it
to the state when Vitulka emigrated.
Would you have wanted me
to live with strangers?
[ Scraping ]
Hey, Franta!
Still fiddling for corpses?
And you? Still squeaking
for gallbladder patients?
- Of course.
I've got to go.
I'll be late for the bus.
Good-bye, Mrs. Loukova.
What's all this about corpses?
That's what we call
a concert audience...
when it's dead;
when they don't respond.
It was blocked here.
Otherwise, the gutters
are in fairly good shape.
[ Softly ]
Except for the odd spot.
Well, I'll be damned.
How did this get here?
It's not very
valuable, Franta.
It's just a piece
of costume jewelry.
- Where did you get this?
- I found it.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
And what do you think
it's worth?
I really have no idea.
Well, look,
I could give you five,
maybe ten crowns for it.
Thank you.
A couple's on your street
and they get into a fight.
She says, ''You and your two-bit trinket
can both go to hell!''
Enraged, she throws it
in the air.
That's it.
- Mr. Broz, I think I agree.
- Of course.
There's no other explanation.
I mean, I agree to this
bogus marriage, I think.
You could talk to Nadezhda
in German.
She's an interpreter
between German and Russian.
I'm afraid
I speak neither.
That's just like
you Czechs!
First you don't like Germans,
then you don't like Russians.
It's not that.
I just have
no head for languages.
Anyway, who cares how
they talk together?
Every Czech
knows some Russian.
[ Speaking Russian ]
Every Czech can speak
a bit of Russian.
- Except me.
- [ Russian ] Except him?
Nobody will suspect.
What's important here...
is for Maestro Louka to know
there'll be no tricks.
Divorce in six months.
I promise you, that's all.
A fake marriage.
Nothing hidden.
Nadezhda has a little son.
And she's young.
And you could be her father.
- What would she do with you?
-She's right.
[ In Russian ]
Tamara, tell him...
it will be like a real wedding.
She says it'll be like
on a real wedding, so...
we must have a reception
and a wedding night.
Everything normalish,
like a normal wedding.
- A wedding night?
- The first night,
you'll sleep together.
But in different rooms...
to avoid suspicion
in case you're followed.
Waiter,
another vodka, please.
[ Whispering Hoarsely ]
The down payment.
Do you have any idea
what bribes cost in Russia?
Come here.
Don't even ask.
[''Wedding March'']
[ Paper Rustling,
Pen Scratching ]
Franta, I'm amazed.
Congratulations.
The best of luck.
She's a beauty.
A real beauty!
Must you play everywhere?
[Jazz ]
[ Woman Singing ]
[ Chattering ]
[ Man Yelling,
Crowd Cheers ]
[ Woman Giggles ]
[ Laughing ]
Friends!
[ Speaking Russian ]
Friends!
I like my wife
Nadezhda very much.
[ Russian ]
I like my wife very much.
[ Czech ] But of course!
- I have just decided...
- [ Russian ] I decided...
that Nadezhda and I...
shall together
enjoy a real...
and truly beautiful
wedding night.
- [ Russian ] What did he say?
- [ Russian ] Some joke.
Because it would be
a great pity...
if a Czech man denied...
his Russian wife
her unde-- undeni--
- undeniable right.
- [ Russian ] Translate, Tamara.
I promise tonight...
I'll be hot-blooded
as any Russian Don Juan.
[ Phone Ringing ]
[ Russian ]
Go screw your mother!
I'll be...
[ Coughs ]
- a real Casanova!
- They don't understand your jokes.
They're terrified.
That's how it should be.
Every bride should be terrified
on her wedding night.
The baby's coming.
The contractions have started.
[ Russian ] She's having a baby.
The contractions have started.
Broz,
look after the children.
[ Chattering ]
[ Tape Falters ]
[ Sighs ]
Nadezhda Ivanovna.
Wife of mine.
[ Locks Click Shut ]
- New, isn't it?
- It's used, Mom.
It looks
pretty new to me.
No rust anywhere.
These cars never rust.
Then it was a good buy.
Look at all
those Russians.
They're like locusts.
Would you believe it?
Lots of Czechs do business with them.
It's certainly cheaper.
Russian diesel,
gasoline, coal.
Collaborating with the occupiers!
Such fine patriots.
[ Chuckling ]
When the Russians invaded...
people shook their fists;
said they wouldn't even give them
stale bread or water.
And look at them now.
A fine nation we are.
Can I give you a lift?
[ Klara ]
Is this your dowry?
I see someone can't
keep his mouth shut.
It's a nice car.
You're better off
in more ways than one.
Look, this marriage--
I'm not interested.
I live alone.
Nothing has changed.
I'm such an idiot.
I nearly got divorced because of you.
Klara,
let's go to my place.
Stop.
I'd like to get out.
Klarena.
I'd really rather get out.
[ Sighs Deeply ]
[ Shifts Down,
Brakes ]
I've done all
your washing and ironing.
Great.
We're supposed to
decorate the windows.
Put up some flags.
Christ, another Communist anniversary?
I can't keep up with them.
They're judging
the best-decorated building again.
My windows are too high
for them to see.
Don't you believe it.
They watch us like hawks.
Put up one Russian flag
and one of ours...
so they leave me in peace.
That's crowns.
I'll add it to the
you already owe me.
You can have it right now.
- Right now?
- Yes.
- I don't have any change.
- Keep it.
Thank you very much.
- Hello.
- How do you do?
Mr. Stoklasa sent me.
He did, did he?
Hold this.
Slowly, slowly!
And what was
Mr. Stoklasa's message?
He wanted you
to look me over.
That is, he wanted you
to hear me play.
[ Grunts ] Decorating
for the anniversary?
Like hell.
I've outgrown all that.
Like a drink?
Yes, please.
I play the viola,
but I want to play the cello.
- And what made you--
- Decide to switch?
- No.
- I like the fact that it's so big.
Uh-huh.
- You prefer big instruments, do you?
- Yes.
Play something, then.
Show me.
You've got long fingers.
That's good.
[ Clears Throat ]
You're giving me butterflies.
Squeeze more
with your knees.
That's it.
- Shall I play?
- Please.
- Like that?
- Play, play.
[ Telephone Ringing ]
Louka.
Which friend?
Right this minute?
Who's calling?
- Blanka.
- Yes?
We must make it
some other time.
That's a pity.
Tell me about it.
- [ Mumbling ] Come to the Green Tree.
- What?
Come to the Green Tree!
Are we staying here
or are we off again?
It's all right here.
So you're a spy.
Is grave digging just a hobby?
Mr. Louka,
we're in deep shit.
- Nadezhda has emigrated.
- Where to?
- Germany.
- West Germany?
Mm.
She went as an interpreter...
and stayed there.
She has a guy there.
She's crazy about him.
I never told you about him.
Some businessman, married.
I thought he'd visit her here.
No sleeping!
You're not at work!
- Why not go directly?
- From Russia to West Germany?
They're not allowed. Russians can
come here but they can't go there.
So how come she got
there from here?
Because she has Czech papers,
thanks to you.
Going home?
Fine, go then.
Also she left her son here,
so she was allowed to go.
Why go, if he's married?
That's not our problem,
Mr. Louka.
The bad part is that
the cops will get interested.
I knew I was being stupid.
I could feel it in my bones.
I'm sorry, Mr. Louka.
But you'll be
all right,you'll see.
The boy will stay
with the aunt.
And when should
I expect them?
- Who?
- The cops.
I'd say soon.
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
[ Knocking ]
[ Loud Knocking ]
[ Louka Panting ]
Frantisek Louka?
- You're this boy's father?
- ''Father?''
The lady he was staying with
is downstairs in our ambulance.
She's had a stroke.
She says you'll take over.
But I'm only a distant father.
I mean to say a stepfather.
That's your problem.
Sort it out yourselves.
She sent him here
while she's in the hospital.
[ Thunder Rumbling,
Rain Pattering ]
[ Boy Sniffling ]
[ Sighs Deeply, Exhales ]
- Come on then.
- [ Sniffles ]
Don't just stand there.
Come on in.
Mr. Broz, have you heard?
Oh, so you do know?
Then come fetch him
right now.
This wasn't
part of the deal.
- [ Babies Crying ]
- We can't solve this on the telephone.
Drop by tomorrow.
I can't hear you.
- One night won't kill you.
-[ Crying Continues ]
Give him a bath
and put him to bed.
Screw this.
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
You have some slippers?
Something to wear indoors?
A fine conversation
this is going to be!
This is all I needed.
Here they are.
Slippers.
Yours.
Take your shoes off, see,
and put your slippers on.
- [ Sniffling ]
- Look, stop snivelling.
I'm not thrilled myself.
Stick it out
for one night here...
and then it's off
to the gravedigger's.
He got us into this
and he'll damn well get us out.
There you go.
Look what we have here.
Some crayons and paper.
You can draw.
Why don't you sit down
and draw something?
Draw. Come on, draw!
So, stare out the window.
What do I care?
Be pigheaded then.
Take a good look.
[ Sniffling ]
Eat.
At least drink your tea.
Tea.
Russian tea,
what you people drink nonstop.
I put sugar in it.
Don't pretend
you don't understand.
You must understand
something.
We're both Slavs.
I don't speak Russian,
you don't speak Czech...
but you must understand
the word ''tea''.
We have it, you have it.
We use the same word.
There you go.
Now we're getting someplace.
[ Radio Announcer]
At the moment there are
heavily-armed Soviet soldiers...
- [ Sniffling ]
- on the territory of our homeland.
[ Clicks Off]
[ Sniffling ]
Stop snivelling and sleep.
One night won't kill you.
[ Sniffling, Whimpering ]
Fine. Be that way.
[ Broz ] She was against
the wedding all along.
- Who was?
- Marus, my wife.
She kept saying,
''You'll get him into trouble.''
She was right about that.
She was.
So I can't ask her
to take in a fifth child.
Mr. Louka, our place
is a madhouse these days.
Try to put up with him.
I'll take crowns
off what you owe me.
No, three, .
And what am I supposed
to do with him?
Can't that woman
with gold teeth take him in?
Pasha? Been back
in Leningrad for ages.
Look, his aunt will be out
of the hospital in a couple of weeks.
Keep the boy.
It's in your best interest.
That's why the aunt
left him with you--
for your own sake.
Looking after your wife's child
makes your marriage look genuine.
To whom, exactly?
The police, when they interrogate you.
And they will come.
- Have you been questioned before?
- No.
I was. Once.
The first cop was real nice.
The second one was named Novotny.
He was sharp as a razor.
Sooner or later
they'll come for you.
And they'll grind you down
slowly but surely.
When my old mother
taught me to sing
She would often weep
[ Rumbling Sound ]
[ Loud Thumping ]
Mr. Louka,
you didn't put up the flags.
You said you'd do it
and you didn't.
I've been too busy.
I'm doing concerts every day
for the workers.
Well yes, but you're
the only one who didn't do it.
All the others did.
What a nice little boy.
Who do you belong to, then?
He's my nephew.
What's your name, dearie?
He won't talk.
He's terribly shy.
I don't care
about the flags...
but you're drawing
attention to yourself.
I'm a coward.
Last year...
I didn't give a damn
and it was okay.
But we mustn't give them any excuse
now we're in the shit.
[ Russian ]
Ours, yours.
What did you say?
[ Russian ]
Ours. Yours.
So you can understand
when you want to.
The thing is, we put up your flag
because we have to.
Once we put it up
in gratitude.
But that was before we realized
that you Russians are scoundrels.
You understand?
No, you don't.
You're expansionists!
Wherever you march you stay.
But not you,
you'll go back to your aunt.
The moment she gets better
I'll pack your chemodan
and you'll be off.
[ Russian ]
''Chemodan.''
That's all the Russian I know,
because they stole mine in Moscow.
You steal suitcases
and other people's land.
[ Russian ]
Ours is red.
What's so beautiful about it?
It's red like your underpants.
Now ours is beautiful.
- [ Russian ] Ours is red.
- You don't understand a thing.
Look what I bought you.
- Russian eggs.
- Russian?
Some Czech hens...
lay Russian eggs,
and they don't even know it.
[ Knocking ]
[ Russian ]
Grandma!
Hello.
- I've come for my lesson.
- Today?
- Isn't it convenient?
- No, it's fine.
It's just that
I have a visitor.
[ Laughing ]
- Is he your little boy?
- No, no.
- A grandson?
- Of course not. I'm babysitting--
I'm baby-sitting
for a colleague from Leningrad.
The boy is Russian.
- [ Russian ] Hello, kid.
- Hello.
- [ Continues ] What's your name?
- Kolya.
[ Chattering Continues ]
Shall I begin?
We'll put the light on
so you don't get scared.
And here's a steamboat.
[ Steamboat Sounds ]
[ Steamboat Sounds ]
[ Cello Stops ]
[ Russian ]
Ours is red.
So we're putting up
flags after all!
Tamara Komarova.
Nurse,
take the child out.
[ Speaking Russian ]
Am I going to see Grandma?
She died yesterday.
At seven A.M.
You're her... what?
Nothing.
Just an acquaintance.
We didn't know
where to send her things.
Dressing gown, teeth,
spectacles, watch--
[ Russian ]
Where's Grandma?
Grandma is asleep.
We mustn't wake her.
[ Russian ] Faster.
[ Man ] Write to the Welfare Office
and have him put into a home.
Say you're his stepfather.
His mother has left,
and you can't look after him
due to your job.
Or put him in kindergarten.
He can't stay here.
- Look what he's drawing.
- A coffin, isn't it?
It's not a bad drawing.
Gentlemen,
the bakery won't wait.
[ Klara Singing ]
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
Are you his dad
or his granddad?
His granddad.
Fill out these forms
and send them...
to Comrade Zubata
at Social Services.
- And when do you think--?
- I can't say.
I don't understand.
You say the boy
is from Yugoslavia.
His parents let him stay with you,
Just like that?
So he'd see
the Czech countryside.
And why
is he called Kolya?
That's a Russian name.
Kolya is short for Nikolai, Mom.
It can be a Yugoslav name too.
- Couldn't he stay here for a few days?
- No.
He's pale.
He'd have the fresh air
and he'd be company for you.
[ Mother ] What's the world coming to?
People leaving their kids anywhere.
[ Gulps Food ]
If you devote yourself to music,
you shouldn't have children.
Like you.
It should be either music or a family.
You've put me on the spot.
How long would he stay?
[ Laughs ]
-[ Trucks Driving By ]
- You see them? Always on the road...
driving back and forth.
[ Russian ]
Ours.
No, not yours.
Those are Russians.
Come here. It's the King.
[ Speaking Russian ]
Russians. Russian soldiers.
What's he saying?
How should I know?
Maybe the uniforms remind him
of the Yugoslavs.
Stay here, Kolya.
It's almost ready.
[ Speaking Russian ]
[ Soldier Playfully
Shouting Orders ]
You lied to me.
He's a Russian.
Yes, I lied to you.
He is Russian.
You're in with
the Russians now?
Mom, all Russians
aren't alike.
[ Doorbell Rings ]
We're not home.
-[ Doorbell Rings Again ]
- Oh, come on.
He saw me come in.
[ Speaking Russian ] Excuse us.
Could we wash our hands here?
- Oh, wash your hands?
- The water's off.
The water's off.
[ Russian ]
The water's off?
There's a burst pipe somewhere.
[ Russian ]
Sorry to bother you. Good-bye.
- [ Faucet Running ]
- [ Russian ] It's running.
The water's running!
I won't have
a Russian child here.
Come on, let's go
see Uncle Ruzicka.
[ Russian ]
The water's running.
I don't like it, Frana.
Lying to your own mother.
- Vitulka would never do that.
-[ Clock Chiming ]
First you show no interest in children
and then it's a Russian.
[ Places Object On Shelf ]
[ Wood Grinding ]
[ Man ]
Come look... whip it so.
How's things in Prague?
Same as here.
Did you hear what this
one psychic says?
That it'll all
fall apart this year.
They've said that
for years.
This psychic had a vision.
The Communists...
were buying
bars of gold...
and fleeing to Russia
in great hordes.
But Gorbachev was there,
took the bars...
and beat them
on the ass with them.
Then he said,
''Leave the gold here and go home!''
But nobody wanted them at home.
The kids and nurses rebelled.
They drove the Communists to Albania...
with a great
pealing of bells...
and set up reservations
for them there...
like for the Indians in America.
What a vision!
Why was it the nurses
who rebelled?
That I can't tell you.
[ Trucks Driving By ]
[ Russian ]
Are they ours?
Yes, yours.
[ Russian ]
Are they going to Moscow?
No, they're here for good.
They just go back and forth.
[ Russian ]
Do they live here?
Unfortunately.
[ Trucks Continue
Driving By ]
[ Russian ]
Like me.
[ Sighs ]
It's cancelled today.
The Russian kids from the barracks...
all saw it yesterday.
- [ Crying ]
- They're not showing it. Come on.
[ Whining ]
How big an audience
do you need?
At least five.
But this is a Russian film.
'Angelika''is on tomorrow.
Give me five tickets.
Mr. Lansky, we're going
to show it after all.
Hi, Franta.
[ Chopping ]
[ Cartoon Characters'
Voices Echoing ]
[ Smacking Gums ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Kolya Giggling ]
[ Russian ]
Where's Grandma?
She's asleep.
Mr. Louka, you got
a registered letter.
I signed so you wouldn't
have to go to the post office.
Just imagine!
Our building came in second
in the decorations competition.
We'd have come in first too,
if it wasn't for that idiot Pech.
It's from the police.
Probably a parking ticket.
I suppose you'll have to show up
in person.
[ Yawns ]
I'm Pokorny.
You would be Mr. Louka.
- You brought--
- There's nobody to look after him.
But during
the interrogation--
Comrade, could you take him?
He'll bawl his head off.
Oh, hell--
We've never done this before.
Never before, Mr. Louka.
Don't you have children?
Yes, but I don't
take them to work.
Maybe I could ask Jitka.
Jitka, you'll have to look
after this boy.
Use Kopecky's office.
He's out.
- Go and play with Auntie.
- [ Growling ]
- [ Growling Continues ]
- He won't go with strangers.
- Well, how old is he?
- Five.
But he doesn't speak Czech.
He's Russian. Can't he stay?
If you have paper
and pencil, he'll draw.
Sit down, Mr. Louka.
Do you have any colored ones?
He really likes crayons.
So you got married on us,
Mr. Louka.
Well, well, how interesting.
Here you are
a confirmed bachelor,
and bang!
Suddenly at --
People do foolish things,
especially at my age.
Well, she's young and pretty.
- A guy could fall in love pretty quick.
- You know how it is.
How did you meet?
- In a restaurant.
- Which one?
It was the Molostranska café.
She was there sitting alone,
and there was no other table free.
- We got to talking--
-And do you speak Russian well?
No.Just a few words...
left over from school.
- The cigarette.
- Please take one.
No, it fell.
That's always happening.
Very nice.
[ Pokorny Over Speaker ]
He draws well. That violin--
[ Louka ]
Cello. It has a spike.
[ Pokorny ] Of course.
A violinist would stab himself.
- I have a five year old
but he can't draw as well.
- [ Sighs ]
-[ Louka ] What's his name?
- Rodek, after my wife.
-She has a man's name?
- No, it's Rodka really.
[ Switches Off, Coughs ]
How's it going?
Captain Novotny, Mr. Louka.
Listen, my dear man,
you seem to have a bad influence
on your family.
Your brother emigrated.
Your wife emigrated.
You didn't live together long
in that tower of yours, did you?
Nobody saw her there.
We lived together
a few days,
but we didn't get along.
She spoke Russian...
and I only spoke Czech.
And you didn't notice that
before the wedding?
Of course.
But there were other problems as well.
She kept
opening the windows.
She was so used
to Siberian winters.
So we decided
we'd live separately.
Okay, you've had your fun.
Now spit it out.
How much did they pay you,
smart-ass?
Isn't that a bit rude?
I'll be as rude as I like.
I call a jailbird
anything I choose...
and that's what you'll be.
I asked you a question!
Comrade, can't you
take this child?
We already tried.
How'd you pay
for that Trabant?
I saved some
and borrowed the rest.
From whom?
My colleague Parizek
and Mr. Broz.
Did your wife tell you
she would emigrate?
That took me by surprise.
And her son. That also
took you by surprise?
Yes, that too.
What will you do with him?
I'll probably keep him.
Since he's mine by marriage.
Look here, my dear man.
This marriage is an obvious scam.
Tell your fairy tale
of an old goat in love to someone else.
And don't think you'll be
playing with the Philharmonic
much longer.
You'll be lucky to fiddle at funerals.
We'll make sure of that.
''He's already
only playing funerals!''
Why not try
to save your skin?
Just tell us
who arranged the wedding...
and how much you got for it.
This isn't the last time we'll meet.
Go back home and think it all over.
Then maybe
you'll come back...
and see us
before we send for you.
[ Sighs ]
Well, that's it.
[ In Czech ]
That's it. ''My dear man.''
A couple more interrogations
and you'll be speaking Czech.
[ Sandals Squeaking ]
[ Woman Speaking Over P.A.]
- Well, Marketa!
- No, Misa.
Misa, of course!
- What are you up to?
- Well I play--
-[ Woman Speaking Over P.A.]
- I play in a sort of ensemble.
Jesus, the boy!
Excuse me.
[ Air Hissing From Train ]
[ Electrical Sparking ]
A five year old boy
is lost on Line B.
He does not speak Czech.
- His name is.... Kolya.
- Kolya.
He should be taken to the supervisor
at any station.
[ Speaking Bad Russian ] Donut
be skary and donut going nowhere.
You must to stay in metro
but we find you. Hello.
End of message
in Russian language.
[ Sandals Squeaking ]
[ Air Hissing
From Train ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Loud Groan ]
[ Air Hissing
From Train ]
[ Stairs Banging Metal Guard ]
The shoes.
Kolya!
You gave me such a fright.
[ Sighs ]
That wasn't a phone call.
It was a phone scream.
It was all this,
''Kolya, my baby!''
When I said
her aunt was dead...
and that you had him she almost fainted.
She wanted to come...
but I talked
the idiot out of it.
I told her they'd send her
straight to a camp in Siberia.
- What about the Red Cross?
-She applied for the boy...
and there are international
agreements on mothers and kids.
Oh--
She sends you her greetings.
[ Louka ]
That's very nice of her.
[ Kolya Chattering ]
- [ Door Squeaking ]
-[ Russian ] Hello, Grandma.
[ Russian ]
It's me, Kolya.
Can you hear me?
[ Crying ]
We went to see you
but you were asleep.
Please come back,
Grandma.
Come on.
Zuzi? It's Louka.
I suddenly felt so lonely
and guess who--
Can you talk?
He's in Warsaw?
Lucky you.
Oh, he's washing!
He takes his time
in there, doesn't he?
Listen, I'm looking
after a Russian kid.
Russian.
Belongs to a violinist from Leningrad.
He can't sleep.
You teach Russian.
Could you read him a story?
-[ Throwing Slippers On Floor ]
- Anything. He's five.
Go and find something.
I'll wait.
She's a teacher.
[ Russian ]
A fairy tale.
The Eagle and the Lamb.
Fantastic! I'll give him the phone.
Kolya Bilyukov.
[ Russian ]
No, I'm not scared of eagles.
[ Zuzi, Reading Russian ]
''High on a Caucasian
Mountain peak lived an eagle.
''One day he flew so high...
''he reached a star.
''On that star there was
a little house.
''In the house lived
an old sheep and her lamb.
'''I came for a visit,'
said the eagle.
'Let's see
how you live here.'''
[ Russian ]
Beautiful.
Thanks, Zuzi.
You left them here?
Black lace ones?
You went home
without your panties?
No, I'd have noticed them.
I'd like to see you too,
Zuzi, but I can't right now.
I'll call you.
[ Hangs Up Phone ]
[ Louka Playing
Classical ]
[ Biting Apple ]
[ Russian ]
Hello.
What's your name?
My name's Kolya.
-[ Louka Picking Cello Strings ]
- Do you want some bread?
- Get out of here.
- [ Stops Playing ]
[ Louka ] Don't feed them.
They'll take over.
And shut the window.
There's a draft.
Scram!
[ Kolya Singing ]
[ Singing Continues ]
He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures
He leadeth me
Beside the still waters
[ Singing Continues ]
[ Louka Continues Playing ]
[ Stops Playing ]
What are you doing?
[ Russian ]
Your job.
[ Sighs ]
That's enough.
[ Kolya Shouting ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Louka ]
We're up as high as the birds.
High up like birds.
[ Inhaling,
Exhaling Deeply ]
His mommy isn't at home?
She's abroad at the moment.
He must have antibiotics.
Every four hours.
Set your alarm clock.
And a quarter aspirin as well.
You have some?
Yes.
There's a danger of meningitis.
If the fever continues,
apply cold compresses.
-[ Doctor ] You can do that?
- Yes, of course.
-[ Kolya Whispering ]
- Will your wife be away long?
Probably.
You'll need a note
for your employer.
- [ Whispering Continues ]
- Yes, maybe.
[ Soft Chiming ]
[ Classical ]
[ Loud Orchestra ]
[ Soft Chiming ]
[ Panting ]
[ Bell Tolling ]
This will feel a bit cold.
Hold on,
it's going to be all right.
You'll be all right now.
Thank you, Klara.
I'm sorry I called you so late.
- That's okay.
- No, really, I mean it.
Thanks a lot. Good night now.
No need to see me off.
I'm staying 'til morning.
What will you say at home?
That an old flame of mine
had a child.
And he couldn't cope.
A magpie or a jay.
They steal shiny things.
[ Hiccups ]
You're right.
Nobody thought of that.
It's still beautiful,
even if it's worthless.
When I said Jan and I
couldn't have children,
I didn't mean that I can't.
You must have misunderstood.
When is he supposed
to take his next pill?
At five.
I set the alarm.
[ Bell Chimes ]
You're less selfish
than I thought.
I never imagined you'd worry like this
about someone else's child.
Neither did I.
[ Coughs ]
[ Klara ]
Weren't you afraid...
to go through
with the fake marriage?
You, a victim
of political persecution.
I'm not a victim
of political persecution.
Just a victim
of my own stupidity.
They used to let me go
to the West.
One time,
the Party Officer said,
''Your brother has emigrated
but we trust you.''
When I returned,
I had to fill in the usual forms.
One of the questions was,
''Did you meet an emigré?''
I wrote, ''Yes.''
Then it said, ''State in detail
what you discussed.''
And I just wrote,
''Just the usual shit, Comrade Blaha.''
- Is that all?
- I guess he felt hurt.
And I thought you'd done
something heroic!
Pathetic, isn't it?
You filled
that form out perfectly.
- [ Kissing ]
-[ Glass Bangs Table ]
[ Inhales,
Exhales Deeply ]
I'd like you to have this.
That's nice.
And you've stopped drawing coffins.
[ Russian ]
Telephone story.
Telephone story.
Oh, a story?
Let's call
our teacher Auntie.
[ Russian ]
''The Eagle and the Lamb.''
Could I have
the one about the eagle?
I liked that one.
[ Hangs Up Phone ]
It was the Uncle.
He's no good at stories.
We'll have to manage alone.
Once upon a time,
there was a grandpa and a grandma.
[ Russian ]
A grandpa and a grandma.
They had a grandson
who was named Budulinek.
One day Grandma said,
''Budulinek, my dear...
''We're going into town.
You'll stay here on your own.
Don't open the door
for anyone at all.''
[ Russian ]
Don't open the door for anyone.
That's it.
And so they left.
[ Bird Squawking ]
Otters lived here once.
[ Russian ]
What's otters?
You and your questions!
It's an animal about this big,
with whiskers like me.
These otters caught trout.
-[ Russian ] What's trout?
- They're fish.
[ Russian ] Fish!
But because the water
is poisoned now by acid rain--
You won't understand
because I don't myself--
the fish died.
[ Russian ]
Fish kaput?
So the otters died too.
[ Russian ]
Otters also kaput?
So now you have
the Otter River...
with no otters in it!
-Jesus Christ!
- [ Chuckles ]
[ Men Singing In German ]
Some East German
is celebrating his birthday.
[ Russian ]
What's ''birthday''?
That's the day
you're born.
[ Russian ]
And when will I have a birthday?
Well, when were you born?
You're five, yes,
but when were you born?
[ Russian ]
I don't know.
It's hard to celebrate your birthday
if you don't know when it is.
[ Woman Chattering
Over Radio ]
Bye-bye, Dad.
Anti-Socialist groups are trying
to destroy our Republic.
But the workers will smash them.
[ Sighs ]
Happy birthday
[ Singing ]
The main thing is
that you're healthy and happy.
Look here.
- [ Kisses Cheek ]
- What is it?
[ Knocking ]
[ Russian ]
Such a beauty!
[ Woman ]
Do you have to live at the top?
I'm Ms. Zubata from the Department
of Social Security.
You sent us an application...
regarding this boy some time back.
We've only just gotten
around to it.
That was a long time ago.
Everything's changed since then.
You say here
that you play at night?
No, only during the day now.
- Where does the boy sleep?
- Over there.
He doesn't have his own bed?
Or room?
No, but there's
enough room--
So it's the boy's birthday?
Not really. I don't have his papers
so I decided it would be today.
-[ Kolya Plucking Violin Strings ]
- You decided?
Please, Ms. Zubata,
I wrote that...
- when I wasn't coping very well.
-[ Strumming Violin ]
The boy is Russian?
[ Sighs ]
Not now, dear.
He understands Czech
pretty well now.
His mother went to the West
and shows no interest in the boy.
That's not true.
She's applied to the Red Cross.
- Look, Mr. Lucina.
- Louka.
Even though
the boy's mother...
gained Czech nationality
by marriage,
she is still Russian.
So the Soviet authorities still
have an interest in this child.
The matter may be well
taken out of our hands.
They'll probably put him
in a home in the Soviet Union.
That's how I see it.
Look, Ms. Zubata,
that letter of mine...
couldn't it be canceled?
Why? They'll take care of the boy.
- I'll be back, Mr. Lucina.
- Louka.
Next time,
I'll bring someone
from the Soviet Embassy...
and they can take over.
A nice little boy.
Good-bye.
-[ Door Squeaks ]
-[ Plucking Violin Strings ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Rain Falling ]
[ Russian ]
''Chemodan''?
Yes, chemodan,
before that Zubata
comes to get us.
[ Buzzing ]
[ Wind Howling ]
- What brings you here?
-[ Louka ] Can you put us up?
But of course.
The springs are coming
through a bit.
But if we put this blanket over them,
they won't stick you too much.
This is Uncle Houdek,
but you'll say Goudek, I suppose.
A great power,
but they can't say...
the letter ''H''.
[ Kisses Cheek ]
I'll hide you like
you're parachutists.
It'll be my way of
Joining the resistance.
- Will your conductor hire me?
- Definitely.
Though he'll wonder why
you want to play in a spa band.
We'll tell him--
Christ, that's an idea.
You're convalescing after
a gallbladder operation.
Take the waters
at the Gagarin Springs.
- Gagarin?
- You go to sleep.
Damn, I love this illegal activity!
[ Orchestra ]
[ Violin Strings Squeaking ]
[ Announcer] The police blocked
the central streets...
so there was no way out.
When faced
with the riot police,
the students sang the national anthem.
They were unarmed...
but they were
savagely attacked--
I'd hate to be mistaken, Franta,
but I think it's just collapsed.
But they're beating people--
Shh! Quiet!
Prague's university students
call on everyone to demonstrate.
It's a pity we joined
the resistance so late.
The lid's off. It's over!
We should be there,
Franta.
It finally happened.
[ Siren Wailing ]
[ Crowd Chanting ]
[ Chanting Continues ]
It finally happened!
It finally happened!
[ Man Speaking Over P.A.]
Please let the ambulance through.
Thank you.
Glad to oblige!
Glad to oblige!
The kids
and the nurses rebelled.
They drove the Communists
to Albania...
with a great pealing of bells...
and set up reservations for them
like for the Indians in America.
What a vision!
[Jangling Continues ]
[ Woman Speaking Over P.A.]
There's your mom.
That's your mommy.
[ Russian ] Thank you again.
And please forgive me.
[ Pushes Back Envelope ]
- Good-bye, Dad.
- Good-bye.
[ Russian ]
When will you come to see us?
[ Louka, Shuddering ]
Good-bye.
[ Full Orchestra ]
- Remember me?
- Of course I remember.
[ Orchestra Fades ]
[ Kolya Singing Quietly ]
The Lord is my shepherd
I shall not want
[ Kolya Continues Singing ]
[ Stops Singing ]