Kung Fu Panda Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Kung Fu Panda script is here for all you fans of the Jack Black movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Kung Fu Panda quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Kung Fu Panda Script

  
   
Legend tells of a legendary warrior...

  
...whose kung fu skills
were the stuff of legend.

  
He traveled the land
in search of worthy foes.

  
I see you like to chew.
Maybe you should chew on my fist!

  
The warrior said nothing,
for his mouth was full.

  
Then he swallowed. And then he spoke.

  
Enough talk. Let's fight!

  
Shashabooey!

  
He was so deadly in fact,

  
that his enemies would go blind from
overexposure to pure awesomeness.

  
- My eyes!
- He's too awesome!

  
- And attractive.
- How can we repay you?

  
There is no charge for awesomeness.

  
Or attractiveness.

  
Kablooey!

  
It mattered not how many foes he faced.

  
They were no match for his bodacity!

  
Never before had a panda
been so feared! And so loved.

  
Even the most heroic heroes in China,

  
the Furious Five,

  
bowed in respect
to this great master.

  
We should hang out.

  
Agreed.

  
But hanging out would have to wait.

  
Because when you're facing
the 10,000 demons of Demon Mountain,

  
there's only one thing
that matters and that's...

  
Po! Get up!

  
You'll be late for work!

  
What?

  
Po! Get up!

  
Po. What are you doing up there?

  
Nothing.

  
Monkey! Mantis! Crane! Viper! Tigress!

  
Po! Let's go! You're late for work.

  
Coming!

  
Sorry, Dad.

  
Sorry doesn't make the noodles.

  
What were you doing up there?
All that noise.

  
Nothing. I just had a crazy dream.

  
About what?

  
What were you dreaming about?

  
What was I?

  
I was dreaming about...

  
...noodles.

  
Noodles? You were really
dreaming about noodles?

  
Yeah. What else
would I be dreaming about?

  
Careful! That soup is sharp.

  
Oh, happy day!

  
My son, finally having the noodle dream!

  
You don't know how long I've been
waiting for this moment.

  
This is a sign, Po.

  
A sign of what?

  
You are almost ready to be entrusted
with the secret ingredient

  
of my Secret Ingredient Soup.

  
Then you will fulfill your destiny
and take over the restaurant!

  
As I took it over from my father,
who took it over from his father...

  
...who won it from a friend in mahjong.

  
Dad, Dad, Dad, it was just a dream.

  
No, it was the dream.

  
We are noodle folk.
Broth runs through our veins.

  
But, Dad, didn't you ever want
to do something else?

  
Something besides noodles?

  
Actually, when I was young and crazy,

  
I thought about running away
and learning how to make tofu.

  
Why didn't you?

  
Because it was a stupid dream.

  
Can you imagine me making tofu?

  
Tofu.

  
No! We all have our place in this world.

  
Mine is here, and yours is...

  
I know, is here.

  
No, it's at tables 2, 5, 7, and 
  
Service with a smile.

  
Well done, students...
if you were trying to disappoint me.

  
Tigress, you need more ferocity!
Monkey, greater speed.

  
Crane, height. Viper, subtlety.
Mantis...

  
- Master Shifu.
- What?!

  
It's Master Oogway. He wants to see you.

  
Master Oogway, you summoned me?
Is something wrong?

  
Why must something be wrong
for me to want to see my old friend?

  
So, nothing's wrong?

  
Well, I didn't say that.

  
You were saying?

  
I have had a vision.

  
Tai Lung will return.

  
That is impossible! He is in prison.

  
Nothing is impossible.

  
Zeng!

  
Fly to Chorh-Gom prison and tell them

  
to double the guards, double
their weapons, double everything!

  
Tai Lung does not leave that prison!

  
Yes, Master Shifu!

  
One often meets his destiny
on the road he takes to avoid it.

  
We must do something! We can't let him
march on the valley, take his revenge!

  
He'll...

  
Your mind is like this water,
my friend.

  
When it is agitated,
it becomes difficult to see.

  
But if you allow it to settle...

  
...the answer becomes clear.

  
The Dragon Scroll.

  
It is time.

  
But who? Who is worthy to be trusted
with the secret to limitless power?

  
To become the Dragon Warrior?

  
I don't know.

  
Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry.

  
Watch it!

  
Sorry. Suck it up!

  
Sorry. A thousand pardons.

  
What?

  
Master Oogway's choosing
the Dragon Warrior! Today!

  
Everyone! Get to the Jade Palace! One of
the Five is gonna get the Dragon Scroll!

  
We've waited 1,000 years for this!
Take the bowl!

  
This is the greatest day
in kung fu history! Just go!

  
Po! Where are you going?

  
To the Jade Palace.

  
You're forgetting your noodle cart.

  
The whole valley will be there,
and you'll sell noodles to all of them.

  
Selling noodles?

  
But, Dad, I was thinking, maybe I...

  
- Yeah?
- I was thinking maybe I...

  
...could also sell the bean buns.
They're about to go bad.

  
That's my boy!

  
I told you that dream was a sign.

  
Yeah. Glad I had it.

  
- I'm a kung fu warrior!
- Me, too!

  
- There's spots at the top.
- Let's go.

  
Come on. Come on!

  
Almost there.

  
What?

  
No! Oh, no!

  
- Sorry, Po.
- We'll bring you back a souvenir.

  
No. I'll bring me back a souvenir.

  
It is an historic day.

  
Isn't it, Master Oogway?

  
Yes, and one I feared
I would not live to see.

  
Are your students ready?

  
Yes, Master Oogway.

  
Know this, old friend.

  
Whomever I choose will not only bring
peace to the valley...

  
...but also to you.

  
Let the tournament begin!

  
Let the tournament begin!

  
Yeah.

  
No, no, wait!

  
I'm coming! Wait, wait!

  
Yes!

  
Hey! Open the door!

  
Let me in!

  
Citizens of the Valley of Peace,

  
it is my great honor
to present to you... Tigress!

  
Viper! Crane! Monkey! Mantis!

  
The Furious Five!

  
Yeah, the Furious Five!

  
Warriors, prepare!

  
Wait. No. Oh, peeky-hole.

  
- Ready for battle!
- Yeah.

  
The Thousand Tongues of Fire.

  
Look at that.

  
Hey! Get out of the way!

  
And finally Master Tigress!

  
And believe me, citizens,
you have not seen anything yet.

  
I know!

  
Master Tigress! Face Iron Ox
and his Blades of Death.

  
I sense the Dragon Warrior is among us.

  
Citizens of the Valley of Peace,

  
Master Oogway will now choose
the Dragon Warrior!

  
Oh, no! No, no, wait!

  
Yeah.

  
Po!

  
What are you doing?!

  
What does it look like I'm doing?! Stop!

  
I'm going to see the Dragon Warrior!

  
But I don't understand.
You finally had the noodle dream!

  
I lied. I don't dream
about noodles, Dad.

  
I love kung fu!

  
Come on, son. Let's get back to work.

  
OK.

  
Come back!

  
What's going on?

  
Where?

  
What are you pointing?

  
OK. Sorry.

  
I just wanted to see
who the Dragon Warrior was.

  
How interesting.

  
Master, are you pointing at me?

  
- Him.
- Who?

  
- You.
- Me?

  
The universe has brought us
the Dragon Warrior!

  
- What?
- What?!

  
- What?!
- What?!

  
Stop, wait! Who told you to?

  
Master Oogway, wait.

  
That flabby panda can't possibly be
the answer to our problem.

  
You were about to point at Tigress
and that thing fell in front of her!

  
That was just an accident!

  
There are no accidents.

  
Forgive us, Master. We have failed you.

  
No. If the panda
has not quit by morning

  
then I will have failed you.

  
Wait! Wait, wait, wait!
I bring a message...

  
...from Master Shifu.

  
What?!

  
"Double the guard?!"

  
"Extra precautions?!"

  
"Your prison may not be adequate?!"

  
You doubt my prison security?!

  
Absolutely not.

  
Shifu does. I'm just the messenger.

  
I'll give you a message
for your Master Shifu.

  
Escape from Chorh-Gom prison
is impossible!

  
Impressive, isn't it?

  
It's very impressive.

  
It's very impressive.

  
One way in, one way out.

  
One thousand guards and one prisoner.

  
Yes, except that prisoner...

  
...is Tai Lung.

  
Take us down.

  
What are you doing?

  
Oh, my.

  
Behold Tai Lung.

  
I'm just gonna wait right here.

  
It's nothing to worry about.
It's perfectly safe.

  
Crossbows! At the ready!

  
Crossbows?

  
Hey, tough guy, did you hear?

  
Oogway's giving someone the Dragon
Scroll, and it's not gonna be you.

  
Don't get him mad.

  
What's he gonna do about it?
I've got him completely immobilized.

  
Did I step on the wittle kitty's tail?

  
I'm good. I've seen enough.

  
I'll tell Shifu he
has nothing to worry about.

  
No, he doesn't.

  
I'll tell him that.

  
Can we please go now?

  
Dragon Warrior! Dragon Warrior!

  
Dragon Warrior! Dragon Warrior!

  
Wait a second!

  
I think there's been a slight mistake.
Everyone seems to think that I'm...

  
The Sacred Hall of Warriors! No way!

  
Look at this place.

  
Master Flying Rhino's armor,
with authentic battle damage!

  
The Sword of Heroes!

  
Said to be so sharp you can cut yourself
just by looking.

  
The Invisible Trident of Destiny!

  
I've only seen paintings
of that painting.

  
No!

  
The legendary Urn
of Whispering Warriors.

  
Said to contain the souls
of the entire Tenshu Army.

  
Hello.

  
Have you finished sight-seeing?

  
Sorry, I should have come to you first.

  
My patience is wearing thin.

  
Well, I mean, it's not like you
were going anywhere.

  
- Would you turn around?
- Sure.

  
How's it going?

  
How do you get 5,000...
Master Shifu!

  
Someone... broke that.

  
But I'll fix it. Do you have some...

  
...glue?

  
A splinter.

  
So you're the legendary Dragon Warrior?

  
- I guess so.
- Wrong!

  
You are not the Dragon Warrior. You will
never be the Dragon Warrior until...

  
...you have learned the secret
of the Dragon Scroll.

  
So, how does this work?

  
Do you have a ladder,
or a trampoline, or?

  
You think it's that easy?
That I'll just hand you the secret

  
- to limitless power?
- No, I...

  
One must first master
the highest level of kung fu.

  
And that is impossible
if that one is someone like you.

  
Someone like me?

  
Yes, look at you!
This fat butt! Flabby arms!

  
Those are sensitive in the flabby parts.

  
And this ridiculous belly.

  
And utter disregard
for personal hygiene.

  
Now, wait a minute.
That's uncalled for.

  
Don't stand that close.
I can smell your breath.

  
Listen, Oogway said I was...

  
The Wuxi Finger Hold.
Not the Wuxi Finger Hold!

  
Oh, you know this hold?

  
Developed by Master Wuxi
in the Third Dynasty.

  
Then you know what happens
when I flex my pinky.

  
- No, no!
- You know the hardest part of this?

  
The hardest part is cleaning up
afterwards.

  
OK, OK, take it easy.

  
Now listen closely, panda.

  
Oogway may have picked you,
but when I'm through with you,

  
I promise you, you're going to wish
he hadn't! Are we clear?

  
Yeah, we're clear. We're so clear.

  
Good.

  
I can't wait to get started.

  
- Let's begin.
- Wait, wait, wait.

  
What?

  
- Now?
- Yes, now.

  
Unless the great Oogway was wrong
and you are not the Dragon Warrior.

  
Oh, OK, well...

  
I don't know
if I can do all of those moves.

  
Well, if we don't try,
we'll never know, will we?

  
Yeah, it's just, maybe we can find
something more suited to my level.

  
What level is that?

  
Well, I'm not a master, but...

  
...let's just start at zero. Level zero.

  
No. There is no such thing
as level zero.

  
- Maybe I can start with that.
- That?

  
We use that for training children and
propping the door open when it's hot.

  
But if you insist...

  
The Furious Five!

  
You're bigger than your action figures.
Except, you, Mantis. You're the same.

  
Go ahead, panda.
Show us what you can do.

  
Are they gonna watch, or should I wait
till they get back to work?

  
Hit it.

  
OK, yeah. I mean, I just ate.
So I'm still digesting.

  
So my kung fu might not be
as good as... later on.

  
Just hit it.

  
All right.

  
What you got? You got nothing,
'cause I got it right here.

  
You picking on my friends?
Get ready to feel thunder.

  
I'm coming at you with crazy feet.

  
Come on. I'm a blur.
You've never seen bear style.

  
You've only seen praying mantis.

  
Or monkey style.

  
Or I could come at you snickety-snake.

  
Would you hit it!

  
All right. All right.

  
Why don't you try again?
A little harder.

  
How's that?

  
That hurts.

  
This will be easier than I thought.

  
I'm feeling a little nauseous!

  
Those are hard!

  
My tenders.

  
How did I do?

  
There is now a level zero.

  
- There's no words.
- No denying that.

  
- There's no words.
- No denying that.

  
What was Master Oogway thinking?

  
The poor guy's gonna get himself killed.

  
He is so mighty!

  
The Dragon Warrior fell out of the sky
on a ball of fire!

  
When he walks, the very ground shakes!

  
One would think Master Oogway would
choose someone who knew kung fu.

  
Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.

  
Or even see his toes.

  
OK.

  
Great.

  
Hi. You're up.

  
I am now.

  
I was just...

  
Some day, huh?

  
That kung fu stuff is hard work, right?
Are your biceps sore?

  
I've had a long
and rather disappointing day, so...

  
Yeah, I should probably
get to sleep now.

  
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.
- OK, thanks.

  
It's just...
Man, I'm such a big fan!

  
You guys were amazing
at the Battle of Weeping River.

  
Out-numbered a thousand to one,
but you didn't stop. You just...

  
Sorry about that.

  
Look, you don't belong here.

  
I know. I know. You're right.

  
I don't have... I just...

  
My whole life I dreamed of...

  
No, I meant you don't belong here.
I mean, in this room. This is my room.

  
Property of Crane.

  
OK. Right, right.

  
So, you want to get to sleep.

  
- Yeah.
- I'm keeping you up.

  
We got big things tomorrow.

  
All right. You're awesome.
Last thing I'm gonna say. Bye-bye.

  
What was that?

  
I didn't say anything.

  
OK. All right. Good night.

  
Sleep well.

  
That seemed a little awkward.

  
Master Tigress!
I didn't mean to wake you.

  
- You don't belong here.
- Yeah, of course.

  
This is your room.

  
I mean, you don't belong
in the Jade Palace.

  
You're a disgrace to kung fu,
and if you have

  
any respect for who we are
and what we do,

  
you will be gone by morning.

  
Big fan!

  
I see you have found the Sacred
Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom.

  
Is that what this is? Sorry. I thought
it was just a regular peach tree.

  
I understand.
You eat when you are upset.

  
Upset? I'm not upset.
What makes you think I'm upset.

  
So why are you so upset?

  
I probably sucked more today
than anyone in the history of kung fu.

  
In the history of China.
In the history of sucking!

  
Probably.

  
And the Five! Man, you should've
seen them! They totally hate me.

  
Totally.

  
How is Shifu ever going to turn me
into the Dragon Warrior?

  
I mean, I'm not like the Five.

  
I've got no claws, no wings, no venom.

  
Even Mantis has those... thingies.

  
Maybe I should just quit
and go back to making noodles.

  
Quit, don't quit.

  
Noodles, don't noodles.

  
You are too concerned
with what was and what will be.

  
There's a saying:

  
Yesterday is history,

  
tomorrow is a mystery,

  
but today is a gift.

  
That is why it is called the present.

  
- Oh, no!
- What's happening?!

  
To your battle stations! Go! Go! Go!

  
Fire crossbows!

  
Fire!

  
Fire!

  
Tai Lung is free! I must warn Shifu.

  
- Not going anywhere! Neither is he!
- Let go of me!

  
Bring it up!

  
Wait! Bring it back!

  
- He's coming this way!
- He won't get far. Archers!

  
We're dead. So very, very dead.

  
Not yet we're not. Now!

  
- Can we run now?
- Yes.

  
I'm glad Shifu sent you.

  
I was beginning to think
I'd been forgotten.

  
Fly back there and tell them...

  
...the real Dragon Warrior
is coming home.

  
Good morning, Master!

  
Panda!

  
Panda!

  
Wake up!

  
He's quit.

  
What do we do now, with the panda gone?
Who will be the Dragon Warrior?

  
All we can do is resume our training
and trust that in time,

  
the true Dragon Warrior
will be revealed.

  
What are you doing here?!

  
Hi! Good morning, Master!

  
I thought I'd warm up a little.

  
You're stuck.

  
Stuck? Nah. What? Stuck?

  
Nah. This is one of my...
Yeah, I'm stuck.

  
- Help him.
- Oh, dear.

  
Maybe on three. One, two...

  
...three.

  
- Thank you.
- Don't mention it.

  
- No, really, I appreciate...
- Ever.

  
You actually thought you could learn
to do a full split in one night?

  
It takes years to develop
one's flexibility!

  
And years longer to apply it in combat!

  
Put that down!

  
The only souvenirs we collect here are
bloody knuckles and broken bones.

  
Yeah! Excellent.

  
Let's get started.

  
- Are you ready?
- I was born re...

  
I'm sorry, brother.
I thought you said you were ready.

  
That was awesome! Let's go again!

  
I've been taking it easy on you, panda.
But no more.

  
Your next opponent will be me.

  
All right! Yeah, let's go!

  
Step forth.

  
The true path to victory is to find
your opponent's weakness...

  
...and make him suffer for it.

  
Oh, yeah!

  
To take his strength
and use it against him...

  
...until he finally falls...

  
...or quits.

  
A real warrior never quits.

  
Don't worry, Master. I will never quit!

  
If he's smart,
he won't come back up those steps.

  
But he will.

  
He's not going to quit, is he?

  
He's not going to quit bouncing,
I'll tell you that.

  
I thought you said acupuncture
would make me feel better.

  
Trust me, it will.

  
It's just not easy finding the right
nerve points under all this...

  
- Fat?
- Fur. I was going to say fur.

  
Sure you were.

  
Who am I to judge a warrior
based on his size? Look at me.

  
I'm over here.

  
Maybe you should look at this again.

  
Oh, OK.

  
Stop it. Stop!

  
I know Master Shifu is trying
to inspire me and all...

  
...but if I didn't know better,
I'd say he was trying to get rid of me.

  
I know he can seem kind of heartless...

  
...but he wasn't always like that.

  
According to legend,

  
there was once a time when
Master Shifu actually used to smile.

  
- No!
- Yes.

  
But that was before.

  
Before what?

  
Before Tai Lung.

  
We're not really supposed
to talk about him.

  
Well, if he's going to stay here,
he should know.

  
Guys, guys, I know about Tai Lung.

  
He was a student. The first ever to
master the thousand scrolls of kung fu.

  
And then he turned bad,
and now he's in jail.

  
He wasn't just a student.

  
Shifu found him as a cub...

  
...and he raised him as his son.

  
And when the boy showed
talent in kung fu...

  
...Shifu trained him.

  
He believed in him. He told him
he was destined for greatness.

  
It was never enough for Tai Lung.

  
He wanted the Dragon Scroll.

  
But Oogway saw darkness
in his heart and refused.

  
Outraged, Tai Lung
laid waste to the valley.

  
He tried to take the scroll by force.

  
And Shifu had to destroy
what he had created.

  
But how could he?

  
Shifu loved Tai Lung
like he had never loved anyone before.

  
Or since.

  
And now he has a chance
to make things right.

  
To train the true Dragon Warrior.

  
And he's stuck with you.

  
A big fat panda
who treats it like a joke.

  
That is it!

  
Wait! My fault!
I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve.

  
And may have also stopped his heart.

  
Inner peace.

  
Inner peace.

  
Inner...

  
Inner peace.

  
Would whoever is making
that flapping sound quiet down?!

  
Inner...

  
Oh, Zeng.

  
Excellent.

  
I could use some good news right now.

  
Master! Master!

  
I have... It's...
It's very bad news.

  
Shifu.

  
There is just news.
There is no good or bad.

  
Master, your vision.
Your vision was right.

  
Tai Lung has broken out of prison.
He's on his way.

  
That is bad news...

  
...if you do not believe
that the Dragon Warrior can stop him.

  
The panda? Master,
that panda is not the Dragon Warrior.

  
He wasn't meant to be here!
It was an accident.

  
There are no accidents.

  
Yes, I know. You've said that already.

  
- Twice.
- Well, that was no accident, either.

  
Thrice.

  
My old friend,

  
the panda will never fulfill
his destiny, nor you yours,

  
until you let go
of the illusion of control.

  
Illusion?

  
Yes. Look at this tree, Shifu.

  
I cannot make it blossom
when it suits me,

  
nor make it bear fruit
before its time.

  
But there are things we can control.

  
I can control when the fruit will fall.

  
And I can control...

  
...where to plant the seed.

  
That is no illusion, Master.

  
Yes.

  
But no matter what you do

  
that seed will grow to be a peach tree.

  
You may wish for an apple or an orange,
but you will get a peach.

  
But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!

  
Maybe it can.

  
If you are willing to guide it.

  
To nurture it.

  
To believe in it.

  
But how? How?

  
I need your help, Master.

  
No, you just need to believe.

  
Promise me, Shifu.

  
Promise me you will believe.

  
I will try.

  
Good.

  
My time has come.

  
You must continue
your journey without me.

  
What are you? Wait!

  
Master!

  
You can't leave me!

  
You must believe.

  
Master!

  
Yeah, so I'm like,
"Fine, you may be a wolf,

  
you may be the scariest bandit
in Haijin Province...

  
...but you're a lousy tipper."

  
Really? So how did you
get out of there alive?

  
I mean, I didn't actually say that...

  
...but I thought it...

  
...in my mind.

  
If he could read my mind,
he'd be, like, "What?"

  
Order up! Hope you like it.

  
- This is really good!
- No, come on.

  
Try my dad's Secret Ingredient Soup.
He actually knows the secret ingredient.

  
What do you mean? This is amazing!

  
- You're a really good cook.
- I wish my mouth was bigger.

  
Tigress, you've got to try this.

  
It is said that the Dragon Warrior
can survive for months

  
on nothing but the dew of ginkgo leaf
and the energy of the universe.

  
I guess my body doesn't know
it's the Dragon Warrior yet.

  
I'm gonna need a lot more
than dew and universe juice.

  
- What?
- Nothing... Master Shifu.

  
Never be the Dragon Warrior unless you
lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth!

  
What is that noise you're making?
Laughter? I never heard of it!

  
Work hard, panda, and maybe someday...

  
...you will have ears like mine.

  
That's good.

  
Ears. It's not working for you?
I thought they were pretty good.

  
It's Shifu!

  
Of course it's Shifu.
What do you think I'm doing?

  
Master Shifu!

  
You think this is funny?

  
Tai Lung has escaped
and you're acting like children!

  
- What?
- He is coming for the Dragon Scroll,

  
and you are the only one
who can stop him.

  
And I was saying
you got no sense of humor.

  
I'm gonna... stop Tai Lung.

  
What? You're serious? And I have to?

  
Master Oogway will stop him,
like he did before.

  
Oogway cannot!

  
Not anymore.

  
Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.

  
- The panda?
- Yes, the panda!

  
Master, let us stop Tai Lung.
This is what you've trained us for.

  
No! It is not your destiny
to defeat Tai Lung.

  
It is his!

  
Where'd he go?

  
You cannot leave!
A real warrior never quits.

  
Watch me.

  
Come on.

  
How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung?
I can't even beat you to the stairs.

  
You will beat him
because you are the Dragon Warrior.

  
You don't believe that.
You never believed that.

  
From the beginning,
you've tried to get rid of me.

  
Yes! I was.

  
But now I ask you to trust in your
master as I have come to trust in mine.

  
You're not my master.
And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.

  
Then why didn't you quit?! You knew
I wanted you gone, yet you stayed.

  
Yeah, I stayed.

  
I stayed because every time
you threw a brick at my head

  
or said I smelled, it hurt,
but it could never hurt more

  
than it did every day
of my life just being me.

  
I stayed because I thought,
if anyone could change me...

  
...could make me... not me...

  
...it was you.

  
The greatest kung fu teacher
in all of China!

  
But I can change you!

  
I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior!
And I will!

  
Come on. Tai Lung is
on his way here right now.

  
Even if it takes him a hundred years
to get here, how are you...

  
...gonna change this
into the Dragon Warrior?

  
How?

  
How?

  
- How?!
- I don't know!

  
I don't know.

  
That's what I thought.

  
This is what you trained me for.

  
Tigress!

  
Don't try and stop me.

  
We're not trying to stop you.

  
What?

  
We're coming with you!

  
What? I eat when I'm upset, OK?

  
No need to explain.

  
I thought you might be Monkey. He hides
his almond cookies on the top shelf.

  
Don't tell Monkey.

  
- Look at you.
- Yeah, I know, I disgust you.

  
No, I mean, how did you get up there?

  
I don't know. I guess that...

  
I don't know. I was getting a cookie.

  
Yet you are ten feet off the ground.

  
And you have done a perfect spilt.

  
No, this? This is just...

  
...an accident.

  
There are no accidents.

  
Come with me.

  
I know you're trying to be
all mystical and kung fuey...

  
...but could you at least
tell me where we're going?

  
You dragged me...

  
...all the way out here...

  
...for a bath?

  
Panda...

  
...we do not wash our pits
in the Pool of Sacred Tears.

  
The Pool of...

  
This is where Oogway
unraveled the mysteries...

  
...of harmony and focus.

  
This is the birthplace...

  
...of kung fu.

  
Do you want to learn kung fu?

  
Yeah!

  
Then I am your master!

  
OK!

  
Don't cry.

  
OK.

  
When you focus on kung fu,

  
when you concentrate...

  
...you stink.

  
Perhaps that is my fault.

  
I cannot train you the way
I have trained the Five.

  
I now see that the way
to get through to you...

  
...is with this.

  
Oh, great, 'cause I am hungry.

  
Good.

  
When you have been trained, you may eat.

  
Let us begin.

  
After you, panda.

  
Just like that?

  
No sit-ups? No ten-mile hike?

  
I vowed to train you, and you
have been trained. You are free to eat.

  
Enjoy.

  
Hey!

  
I said you are free to eat.
Have a dumpling.

  
Hey!

  
You are free to eat.

  
- Am I?!
- Are you?!

  
I'm not hungry.

  
Master.

  
Cut it!

  
Where's the Dragon Warrior?

  
How do you know
you're not looking at her?

  
You think I'm a fool?

  
I know you're not the Dragon Warrior.
None of you!

  
I heard how he fell out
of the sky in a ball of fire.

  
That he's a warrior unlike
anything the world has ever seen.

  
- Po?
- So that is his name. Po.

  
Finally, a worthy opponent.

  
Our battle will be legendary!

  
We've got this. Help her.

  
Monkey!

  
Go!

  
What was I thinking?!

  
Mantis!

  
Now!

  
Shifu taught you well.

  
But he didn't teach you everything.

  
You have done well, panda.

  
Done well? Done well?

  
I've done awesome!

  
The mark of a true hero is humility.

  
But, yes, you have done...

  
...awesome.

  
Guys? Guys?! They're dead!

  
No, they're breathing. They're asleep?
But their eyes are open.

  
We were no match for his nerve attack.

  
He's gotten stronger.

  
Who? Tai Lung? Stronger?

  
He's too fast!

  
Sorry, Po.

  
I thought we could stop him.

  
He could have killed you.

  
Why didn't he?

  
So you could come back and strike fear
into our hearts. But it won't work.

  
It might. I mean, a little.

  
I'm pretty scared.

  
You can defeat him, panda!

  
Are you kidding? If they can't?!

  
They're five masters. I'm just one me.

  
But you will have
the one thing that no one else does.

  
You really believe I'm ready?

  
You are...

  
...Po.

  
Behold the Dragon Scroll.

  
It is yours.

  
Wait. What happens when I read it?

  
Legend says you will be able
to hear a butterfly's wing beat.

  
Really? That's cool.

  
Yes. And see light in the deepest cave.

  
You will feel the universe
in motion around you.

  
Can I punch through walls?

  
- Do a quadruple back flip?
- Focus.

  
- Will I?
- Focus.

  
- Focus.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

  
Read it, Po, and fulfill your destiny.

  
Read it and become...

  
...the Dragon Warrior.

  
It's impossible to open.

  
OK. Come on, baby. Come on now.

  
Thank you.

  
I probably loosened it up
for you though.

  
OK, here goes.

  
- It's blank.
- What?!

  
- Here, look.
- No, I am forbidden to look upon...

  
Blank. I don't...

  
I don't understand.

  
OK. So, like...

  
...Oogway was
just a crazy old turtle after all.

  
No. Oogway was wiser than us all.

  
Oh, come on! Face it,
he picked me by accident.

  
Of course I'm not the Dragon Warrior.
Who am I kidding?

  
But who will stop Tai Lung?

  
He'll destroy everything and everyone.

  
No.

  
Evacuate the valley. You must protect
the villagers from Tai Lung's rage.

  
- What about you, Master?
- I will fight him.

  
- What?
- I can hold him off long enough

  
for everyone to escape.

  
But, Shifu, he'll kill you.

  
Then I will finally have paid
for my mistake.

  
Listen to me, all of you.

  
It is time for you to continue
your journey without me.

  
I am very proud
to have been your master.

  
We've got to get them out safely.

  
Come, little one. Let's find your mama.

  
Viper, gather the southern farmers.
Mantis, the north.

  
Crane, light the way.

  
Look, it's the Dragon Warrior.

  
Hey, Dad.

  
Po!

  
Good to have you back, son.

  
Good to be back.

  
Let's go, Po.

  
So for our next shop,
it's time to face it...

  
...the future of noodles
is dice-cut vegetables...

  
...no longer slices.

  
Also, I was thinking, maybe this time

  
we'll have a kitchen
you can actually stand up in.

  
You like that?

  
Po, I'm sorry if things didn't work out.

  
It just wasn't meant to be.

  
Po, forget everything else.

  
Your destiny still awaits.

  
We are noodle folk.
Broth runs deep through our veins.

  
I don't know, Dad.

  
Honestly, sometimes
I can't believe I'm actually your son.

  
Po...

  
...I think it's time I told you
something I should have told you...

  
...a long time ago.

  
OK.

  
The secret ingredient
of my Secret Ingredient Soup.

  
Come here. The secret ingredient is...

  
...nothing.

  
You heard me. Nothing!

  
There is no secret ingredient!

  
Wait, wait.
It's just plain old noodle soup?

  
You don't add some kind of special
sauce or something?

  
Don't have to. To make something
special, you just believe it's special.

  
There is no secret ingredient.

  
I have come home, Master.

  
This is no longer your home.
And I am no longer your master.

  
Oh, yes. You have a new favorite.

  
So where is this Po?

  
Did I scare him off?

  
This battle is between you and me.

  
So, that is how it's going to be.

  
That is how it must be.

  
I rotted in jail for 20 years
because of your weakness!

  
Obeying your master is not weakness!

  
You knew I was the Dragon Warrior.

  
You always knew.

  
But when Oogway said otherwise,
what did you do?

  
What did you do?!

  
Nothing!

  
You were not meant to be the Dragon
Warrior! That was not my fault!

  
Not your fault?!

  
Who filled my head with dreams?!

  
Who drove me to train
until my bones cracked?!

  
Who denied me my destiny?!

  
It was never my decision to make!

  
It is now.

  
Give me the scroll!

  
I would rather die.

  
All I ever did, I did to make you proud!

  
Tell me how proud you are, Shifu!

  
Tell me!

  
Tell me!

  
I have...
I have always been proud of you.

  
From the first moment, I've been...

  
...proud of you.

  
And it was my pride...

  
...that blinded me.

  
I loved you too much
to see what you were becoming...

  
...what I...

  
...was turning you into.

  
I'm...

  
I'm sorry.

  
I don't want your apology.

  
I want my scroll!

  
What?!

  
Where is it?!

  
Dragon Warrior has taken the scroll
halfway across China by now.

  
You will never see
that scroll, Tai Lung.

  
Never.

  
Never.

  
Stairs.

  
Who are you?

  
Buddy, I am the Dragon Warrior.

  
You?

  
Him? He's a panda.

  
You're a panda. What are
you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?

  
Don't tempt me.

  
No. I'm gonna use this.

  
You want it? Come and get it.

  
Finally!

  
That scroll is mine!

  
Lightning!

  
The scroll has given him power!

  
No!

  
Finally! Oh, yes.

  
The power of the Dragon Scroll is mine!

  
It's nothing!

  
It's OK. I didn't get it
the first time, either.

  
What?

  
There is no secret ingredient.

  
It's just you.

  
Stop it!

  
I'm gonna pee.

  
Don't.

  
Don't! Don't!

  
You...

  
...can't defeat me.

  
You...

  
...you're just a big...

  
...fat...

  
...panda!

  
I'm not a big fat panda.

  
I'm THE big fat panda.

  
The Wuxi Finger Hold!

  
Oh, you know this hold?

  
You're bluffing. You're bluffing.
Shifu didn't teach you that.

  
Nope.

  
I figured it out. Skadoosh.

  
Look!

  
The Dragon Warrior.

  
That's my boy! That big lovely
kung fu warrior is my son!

  
Yes!

  
Thanks, Dad.

  
Hey, guys.

  
Master.

  
Master.

  
Master?

  
Master Shifu!

  
Master!

  
Shifu, are you OK?!

  
Po.

  
You're alive.

  
Or we're both dead.

  
No, Master, I didn't die.
I defeated Tai Lung.

  
You did?

  
Wow. It is as Oogway foretold.

  
You are the Dragon Warrior.

  
You have brought peace...

  
...to this valley...

  
...and...

  
...and to me.

  
Thank you.

  
Thank you, Po.

  
Thank you. Thank you.

  
No! Master! No, no, no,
don't die, Shifu, please!

  
I'm not dying, you idiot!

  
Dragon Warrior...

  
...I am simply at peace. Finally.

  
So, I should stop talking?

  
If you can.

  
Want to get something to eat?

  
Yeah.

  
Everybody is kung fu fighting

  
Your mind becomes fast as lightning

  
Although the future is a little bit fright'ning

  
It's the book of your life that
you're writing

  
Everybody is kung fu fighting

  
Your mind becomes fast as lightning

  
In fact it's a little bit frightening

  
It's the book of your life that you're writing

  
You are a natural

  
Why is that so hard to see?

  
Maybe it's just because
You keep on looking at me

  
The journey's a lonely one
So much more than we know

  
But sometimes you've got to go
And be your own hero

  
Everybody is kung fu fighting

  
Your mind becomes fast as lightning

  
Although the future
is a little bit frightening

  
It's the book of your life
that you're writing

  
You're a diamond in the rough
A brilliant ball of clay

  
You could be a work of art
If you just go all the way

  
Now what would it take to break?
I believe that you can bend

  
Not only do you have to fight
But you have got to win

  
'Cause everybody is kung fu fighting

  
Your mind becomes fast as lightning

  
Although the future
is a little bit frightening

  
It's the book of your life
that you're writing

  
You're a diamond in the rough
A brilliant ball of clay

  
You could be a work of art
If you just go all the way

  
Now what would it take to break?
I believe that you can bend

  
Not only do you have to fight
But you have got to win

  
'Cause everybody is kung fu fighting

  
Your mind becomes fast as lightning

  
Although the future
is a little bit frightening

  
It's the book of your life
that you're writing



Special thanks to SergeiK.