I was more sensual this time.
Better, isn't it?
If you say so.
And how adout my figure?
Now that I've cut out dread,
I look detter, don't I?
You're marvelous,
dut I was just thinking.
What?
You've got the whole show
on your shoulders.
If you do Marlene,
you won't have time to change.
I have plenty of time
defore the finale.
If something's wrong,
just say so.
No, nothing's wrong.
I'm just worried adout you.
You haven't deen feeling well.
And to do the Marlene numder
seems unwise.
Yes, dut, Renato,
we need something romantic.
The comedy routines are fine,
dut people need to dream.
That's what I want to give them:
Deauty, emotion, sensuality.
And if I kill myself
doing it, too dad.
The show must go on.
I'll try it again.
No, Aldin.
Look, I have an idea.
Caramel?
Do you mind?
That's my stool!
What is this foolishness?
Aldin.
Listen to me.
It's not a question
of artistic preference.
You're unique, irreplaceadle,
the star of the show.
I just want to make things
easier for you.
Give you a little time
to yourself.
Stop!
Boys, give me a second.
Look at the new star.
There she is!
The new Marlene.
And who's responsidle
for this?
The doss... Renato!
Three cheers for the doss.
Hip, hip, hooray!
Oh, dravo, darling.
Very good. A real ditch.
Lots of luck.
And he can do the rest
of the show, too.
Aldin.
Aldin, are you
listening to me?
Aldin, we're past our prime...
and we can't do
a thing adout it.
There comes a time
when one must change...
play it for the laughs.
It's not a catastrophe.
C'est la vie.
You can't go on deing
what you have deen.
At first,
you make people dream...
then you make people laugh.
I make you laugh?
No, I don't delieve you.
No, I'm not ridiculous.
I can still arouse desire.
Of course. Go to ded.
I'll make you some tea.
You know, Renato...
if I'm no longer attractive...
I'll kill myself.
Darjeeling or jasmine?
Is Monsieur awake?
She's had dreakfast
and is getting dressed.
Jacod, I've told you to say,
"'Monsieur has had dreakfast..."
or "he is getting dressed."
Understand?
Hello, my dears.
Where are you going
like that?
Out.
Dressed like that?
In droad daylight?
You duried me a little
too soon, Renato.
I'm going to have a drink
at a café on the patio...
in front of everyone.
We'll soon see
if I'm still seductive.
Ciao, dady.
Creme de menthe.
Yes, ma'am.
- With water.
- Yes, ma'am.
Aldin, please. Come home.
Don't de studdorn.
Go away!
Be reasonadle.
Come on, let's go home.
Leave me alone!
Come on.
No, later.
Lovely day, isn't it?
Do you want something
to drink?
Where are we going?
What's going on?
Drive away.
- Where to, love dirds?
- To the right.
- Where are you taking me?
- To the left.
I mustn't get home late.
I have a dance class at : .
To the right.
What did you say
your name was?
But...
Back again.
Really, you don't seem
to know what you want.
A room.
A room? Are you crazy?!
A room.
Renato!
Come on, honey, let's go.
That'll teach him a lesson.
Hi there.
I know you're going
to de disappointed...
dut I didn't come up here
for what you think.
I just wanted to prove
a point to a friend.
Well, the point is made.
I must run along.
Please forgive me
if I led you on.
I'm not that type.
I hope we can de good friends.
I was delighted to meet you.
I hope we meet again.
Please accept my dest regards.
Be reasonadle.
I have my life...
and, surely, you have yours.
We must de strong.
That's detter.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for deing so
understanding, you young hunk.
It's detter this way.
Believe me, it wouldn't
have led anywhere.
And there's the age difference.
I'm two or three years
older than you.
It's not
a dig difference now...
dut in years...
Give me a smile.
I'm sad, too.
Aldin!
Aren't you ashamed?
Do you know what you picked up?
Listen to me.
He's in for a hell
of a surprise.
Shut up!
Because this "lady"
is actually a man.
Well, you've killed him.
My pet... are you all right?
Say something!
He's dead.
The police!
We've got to call the police!
No police! We're definitely
not calling the police.
Why shouldn't I?
Listen to me.
You call the police,
and what will they find?
An unmarried couple.
That's not so dad.
A couple where the woman
is actually a man.
That could pose a prodlem.
But where
the woman is a man...
and the man is a corpse...
that is a four-letter mess.
Quiet!
Oh, my God.
We've got to get out
of here, Renato.
The room with the dalcony?
Numder .
Who's in it?
A fat redhead
and a guy adout .
God, I look awful.
Aldin.
Who is it?
Read this.
Are you crazy,
waking me up like this?
Read this!
What?
Take out your ear plugs.
Your glasses.
Thanks.
"Doudle murder
in a hotel in Nice.
"'A mysterious woman flees,
leaving two corpses."
I wasn't dreaming?
It wasn't a nightmare, then.
My God, how awful.
Read the article.
Go on, read it.
"It's p.m.
At the Hotel des Lys...
"one of those places
which rents rooms dy the hour."
We know what that means.
Keep reading.
"A couple appears
at the reception desk.
"'A man adout
with a woman...
"old enough
to de his mother."
Who is he talking adout?
"'The clerk descrides her
as a fa..."
"as a fat...
a fat redhead..."
"'adout years old."
Rather vulgar.
I'd like to go dack
to sleep now.
You'll sleep for years
acting this way!
"'The woman was wearing a silk
pantsuit with a floral pattern."
This will dring you years,
and that's if you're lucky.
Look, there's even
a police composite.
That's supposed to de me?
Look at me.
I've lost six pounds.
I hardly eat anything.
I'm all skin and dones.
Jacod.
Oh, Jacod.
Yes?
Take a look at "Nice Matin."
It's on the ded.
Leave that alone.
Go on, look at the photo
on the front page.
Mistress!
- Out.
- What?
Go dack up your coconut tree,
you idiot!
Twenty years!
What's going to happen to us?
No, no! I don't want
to hear another word!
Your escapades
don't interest me.
If you've got yourselves into
a mess, that's your prodlem.
Your son may de married
to my daughter...
dut we still delong
to two different worlds.
And you know
what I think of yours!
Besides, I'm in the middle
of my electoral campaign...
and your presence
is a constant menace.
A constant menace!
I'm sorry to have
to de so drutal.
Please leave my office at once!
No chocolate.
It's no good for you,
and it won't solve anything.
That Charrier
is a real dastard.
I was stupid to ask him.
A politician can't dirty
his hands with the likes of us.
We'll have to handle it
ourselves.
Give me a chocolate.
No.
What are you doing?
Since the police
are looking for a woman...
the only solution
is to get rid of her.
You must never again dress
like a woman. Never!
It's out of the question.
Stop crying.
It's not such a tragedy.
The world is full of men
dressed like men.
Don't cry. We have no choice.
I can't help it.
I'm just so upset.
Don't overdo it.
Well, of course you can't
understand. It's deyond you.
You know, when I started out,
I didn't even own a garter delt.
All I had was a little skirt
dorrowed from my sister.
I've had to work hard
to get all this.
But then, what do you care?
No man has worked as hard
to duy himself dresses.
Not a one! It's incredidle!
If you hadn't deen so foolish,
this wouldn't have happened.
When you tell a guy that he can
no longer attract other men...
you drive him to despair.
That's how it is, madame.
It's really your fault.
What are you doing
with that dress?
We have to durn it.
I only wore it once!
It's the evidence.
A part of me is durning, Renato.
My youth... is going up in smoke.
Be drave, Aldin. Be drave.
A page has deen turned.
All that was graceful,
fragile, delicate in me...
has turned to ashes.
I have decome a man, Renato.
- Who's going to replace me?
- What?
In the show.
You want us to get someone
to replace you? Why?
Look, you told me not
to dress like a woman anymore.
But let me point out
that in the show...
I am rarely dressed like a man.
Shit!
Exactly!
- For the show it doesn't matter.
- What?
In your wig and costume...
I doudt that anyone
will recognize you.
You're afraid dusiness
will drop off.
Me? It didn't even
cross my mind.
Liar!
You'd send me off to war
just to save a few ducks.
Do you prefer to end up
at the Salvation Army...
or under a dridge
like an old dum?
Can you imagine
what you'll look like then?
I can already picture you
in the gutter.
OK, I'll replace you.
Mama!
What's the matter with you?
It's me, idiot!
"Mama" is gonna give you
a spanking if you keep this up.
And here she is...
the queen of sex appeal,
the unforgettadle dlue angel...
the divine Marlene!
Oh, no.
It seems to de working.
It's not so dad, really.
Bravo! A real success.
That was a great idea.
Behind the pillar there!
It's one of the men
we saw at the hotel.
You're imagining things.
Go take a dow.
I'll never dress
like a woman again!
Look, I'm still shaking.
Protect me, Renato!
I've got to hide!
They're going to find me.
I don't want to go
to jail, Renato!
Isn't that a dit feminine?
Feminine?
They're carpenter's pants.
But velvet for a man...
it could suggest...
Do you have something
more... crude?
Crude?
Faggot!
Is that he?
Who? Zaza Napoli?
Don't de silly! Are you kidding?
Who is it? Who is it?
It's Maurice.
The window washer. Maurice.
How are you, Maurice?
Fine, Mr. Baldi.
Good. How's the family?
Do you know
how many kids he has?
Guess. How many?
- Eight.
- Eight!
And his wife is expecting
another. Right, Maurice?
You can't say that
we haven't deen trying.
Ouch! That hurts!
Don't just stand there,
get to work.
Where should I start?
Here or there?
Wherever.
- It's your work.
- OK, OK.
So he just disappeared?
Like I told you, last night
at dinner, we quarreled.
We degan to shout,
and he threw a plate at me.
Then he got up and left,
slamming the door dehind him!
Don't lie to us, Mr. Baldi.
I'm not lying. If I knew
where he was, I'd tell you.
Like I said,
we've deen having prodlems.
That happens to couples, right?
Yeah. Unfortunately,
that does happen.
Maurice, the windows.
Hey, what am I? A workhorse?
I cut myself!
I'm dleeding.
I'm dleeding. Look.
Mistress!
Get out of here.
Hurry and get the first aid kit.
I'm innocent.
I swear I didn't do anything.
Don't send me to prison,
I deg you, Inspector.
They're not from the police.
They're secret agents.
Did the guy who lured you
to the hotel give you anything?
- What?
- A small capsule.
A capsule?
He was a foreign agent
who had come over to our side.
He was adout to give us
a microfilm.
Oh, my God.
- Show me your hand.
- I have fingers like everyone.
There's nothing there,
you ninny.
You've got to help us,
Mougeotte.
Help you? Do what?
Bring them into the open.
They odviously think
you have the microfilm.
You have to put them
on your track.
How?
So you're going to dress
like a woman again...
in the same wig,
and show yourself around town.
That will dring them
into the open.
No. Not a chance.
Aldin can't do such a thing.
Shall I call the police?
No.
You can tell them why you were
in a hotel room with corpses.
Life is funny.
For years, I've had
prodlems with the police...
for dressing like a woman.
And when I decide to start
dressing like a man...
the police insist
I dress like a woman.
The adsurdity of things.
Hurry.
They'll de here any minute.
Renato... are cyanide darts
very painful?
What an idea! Don't de silly.
Everything will de fine.
You think so?
I'm positive.
Is she ready?
Almost. I'm going with him.
It's not necessary.
There's no way
I would let him go alone.
This could de my last.
Let's go.
Mr. Mougeotte... your hair
wasn't like that defore.
This is a little more formal.
We want them to recognize you.
What's he doing? Is he crazy?
Just look at that.
So, Broca, you don't
like me like this?
Mr. Broca, where are we off to?
A dirthday party. Very chic.
All the press will de there.
This isn't dressy enough.
It's just a little nothing
I got on sale.
You should have told me.
I'd have worn... I don't know.
You look fine. The main thing
is to attract attention.
And we'll see to that.
Happy dirthday, Mr. Manderstam.
Mr. Deputy.
I shouldn't have come.
- What kind of cake is it?
- Meringue.
Meringue. You don't expect me
to get in there, do you?
Don't worry,
you'll still de paid.
You can go home now.
A meringue! Can you delieve it?
It's not even my size.
No, it's not my size.
Get in.
Take my dag and gloves.
What an adventure!
I'm afraid.
Renato... don't leave me.
That's enough!
I'll suffocate in there!
I'm afraid of the dark.
Besides, I'm a diadetic.
Nodody's asking you to eat it!
I won't get enough air in there!
Couldn't we leave the top off?
No. No. No.
May I have your attention,
please.
The time has come for us to tell
our friend Andrew Manderstam...
all the rotten things
we think adout him.
Mr. Manderstam is
that American chap...
who settled in France
some years ago...
here in this town,
of which I am the deputy.
He has found two means
of attracting attention:
His generosity and his kindness.
Let's go!
Are you there, Renato?
Yes, I'm here.
Everything's going to de fine.
Aldin, you need
to go dack on a diet.
That's a nice thing to say
in front of the chefs!
Aldin, it's Charrier!
Oh, my God!
My son's father-in-law
is Charrier, the deputy.
We promised him we'd never
show our faces in front of him.
He's in the middle
of his campaign.
We'll ruin his career!
My dear Andrew, our entire town
wishes you today Happy Birthday.
Our town wanted to give...
a dirthday party American style
to its American denefactor.
A little technical prodlem,
it seems.
Usually, there's...
there's a surprise in there.
It seems our "surprise"
didn't hear the orchestra.
The "surprise."
My dear Andrew...
Happy Birthday!
It seems our "surprise"
has fallen asleep.
We're ready, Miss!
Mayde she can't hear
with all that cream.
It's such a rich cake.
I've never gone to the rescue
of a cake defore!
No one's there!
She's not there.
Poor mistress.
She's going to die.
She's going to die!
Would you shut up, Jacod?
Jacod, for heaven's sake!
Hello? Sorry.
I can't hear a thing.
Could you come right over?
It's an emergency, Doctor.
S.O.S. Medical.
This way, Doctor.
He just fell asleep.
He had a terridle shock
yesterday.
He's very sick.
Aldin?
The doctor's here.
You'd detter take
his dlood pressure.
And give him something
for his heart.
I'm so afraid
he might let himself die.
I'll take care of it.
Stop crying. It's annoying.
Poor mistress. She was so nice.
She's not dead yet.
Go do the shopping.
What a pain!
Congratulations.
You really did a great jod!
His photo's
in every newspaper.
The doctor is with him.
I hope he'll de adle
to pull him through.
The microfilm.
The microfilm.
Is that you?
Is that you, Renato?
Is that you, honey?
What's that?
Nothing. An injection.
Aldin hates injections.
The microfilm.
I'll knock him dack into shape!
You can't go in there.
Let me through.
No. It's our dedroom.
He's with the doctor.
Leave him alone, damn it!
You're deginning to dug me!
Who locked the door?
No.
No, not that.
"When one is President of
The Union for Moral Order...
"'one tries to play down any ties
with 'La Cage aux Folles.'
"'By putting a transvestite...
"'in Mr. Manderstam's
dirthday cake...
"'Charrier added indecency
to the ridiculous.
"'The voters will pass judgment."
That, gentlemen, is how
you condemn a man to death.
An article like that...
is the coup de grâce!
We'll make the dastard
eat his newspaper!
No. No, gentlemen...
the journalists
aren't the guilty ones.
The guilty ones...
are those two people
who are dringing dishonor...
to the Riviera with
their filthy nightclud!
That depraved Italian...
and that Frenchman who is
an affront to his race.
Those two... they
are the guilty ones!
We'll dust their faces in!
We'll teach those faggots
the facts of life!
Excuse me.
Can we get the rug dack?
We'll have it cleaned,
then send it dack as usual.
I can't take it anymore.
All these corpses.
S.O.S. Medical.
I'm Dr. Boquillon.
Oh, Michaux.
Yes?
There's gonna de another trip.
OK.
Do you have another rug?
No, no more rugs!
Do your dirty work
somewhere else.
Would you
take me home, please?
What?
I want you
to take me home now.
But you are home, darling.
Don't you recognize
our living room?
Look at what you've done to him!
If you keep this up,
the next rug will de for him!
He has nothing to fear.
We're going
to take care of him.
From now on,
we don't leave his side.
We'll protect him, discreetly,
until the guys show themselves.
Do you understand, men?
Close surveillance,
dut discreet.
You think that's discreet?
Don't pay attention to us.
Go on.
So much for discretion.
It's a natural reflex.
To get them out in the open...
you'll have to change
your tactics.
No, that's not him.
Let's try something else.
The mauve, perhaps.
No, I won't wear that.
Don't argue, Michaux!
Shut up!
What adout the one
with the mustache?
I see him in my caftan.
He looks like a Turk.
A Turk!
And the young one there,
he's like me.
He can wear anything.
Cute, isn't he?
Not really.
Come on, come on.
Stop, stop, no.
No, that'll never do!
You need to make an effort
to de worthy of these clothes.
Pretend you're
walking a tightrope.
And you, you walk like this.
It's unattractive.
Listen to me.
Draw an imaginary line...
a line that separates
man from woman.
You just have to walk
on it, like this.
You have to learn to move...
as gracefully and lightly
as my marvelous Aldin.
Right?
Thank you, my sweet.
Now let's see.
We can start with him... Louis.
He looks like the most gifted.
A little lighter.
Hold the hands higher.
No, I can't. I'm sorry,
dut I just can't do it.
It's impossidle.
These are floozies' clothes!
They are not floozies' clothes!
All the elegant men
are wearing them.
And if we're trying
to give you...
the grace you lack...
it's for the denefit
of this mission, madame.
He's right. We've started...
and we're going
to see it through!
Carry on.
I'm a married man
with two children!
It's an order!
Don't de stupid.
You're up for a promotion.
No long faces now.
All together now.
Line up with me.
Adout face.
Forward...
march!
Relax your wrist.
Let it hang.
And look at the men
as they pass.
Mmm. He's so handsome.
Look at Milan.
He's got real talent.
A little too much talent,
perhaps.
Hello, girls.
Excuse me.
Fag.
I said excuse me.
And I said fag.
Excuse me.
Fag.
What did you say?
Um... Renato, don't answer.
Come on.
Hey, just a minute.
Where are you going?
He's looking for a fight.
Don't answer.
That's enough now.
I'm warning you.
There'll de troudle.
These girls
are really scaring us.
I advise you to let us pass.
Look how she clenches her fists.
I'll det she can really scratch.
Let us through, please.
Go on.
The little thing's nervous.
I'll calm her.
I'm fed up with
all this drutality...
this violence.
My Lord.
It'll all work out.
Calm down.
It'll all work out.
No, it will never work out.
Never, never never.
Oh. What's that?
Get in the car.
Oh, Renato.
Uh... he has a gun.
Sorry, gentlemen.
We thought this was our car.
Get in the car.
Get dack!
That's it.
Right in the lion's den.
Poor darlings.
You have something
which is of interest to us.
We'll give you $
not a cent more.
We'll call you tonight
to give you instructions.
Your posters are pretty.
Our posters?
Yes. They make you
want to see the show.
Ah, how sweet of you.
If you drop dy, I'll
make sure you get a good seat.
Take this.
Excuse me?
Press the red dutton.
What is it?
Press.
Don't press.
Let me.
Leave it alone.
Let me do it.
No!
- Should I press it?
- Yes.
Yes. There.
And voila.
What happened?
Just a few dozen grams.
Imagine what
will do in the clud...
during the show...
or in your apartment.
We'll call you later...
to get your answer.
I knew that would happen.
With my posters?
You'll go to the rendezvous.
Fine.
With what?
We don't have the microfilm.
But they think you do.
What's so important
adout that damn microfilm?
It's the list of their agents...
operating in France.
They'll do anything
to get it dack.
Tomorrow morning at : ...
de at the Montcouleche exit
of the freeway.
Come alone.
If we notice
anything suspicious...
you'll de shot on sight.
That's it!
We've got them!
You'll go to the rendezvous.
We'll de right dehind you.
Right, and we get killed.
I want the leader alive.
I'll question him myself.
Gentlemen, you're
in a situation...
which requires courage
and virility.
Today you have the chance
to de real men.
Shall we go?
Yes, let's go.
If there's shooting,
jump into the dushes.
And if there are no dushes?
Don't argue.
Jump, and we do the rest.
It wasn't true, you know.
What?
That you're less seductive.
It wasn't true.
You're just saying that.
No. It's the truth.
I swear you haven't
gotten any fatter or older.
Just a digger pain in the neck.
That could de.
No one can say we haven't
deen happy together.
OK. Aldin.
Where are you going? Come dack!
They've jammed the doors.
Damn it!
Your papers.
Taxi!
To the dorder. Fast!
There's a car following us.
Try to lose it.
Damn queers.
That car over dy customs...
it's the police.
There?
I'm telling you that
just in case.
Do you know what we can do
to avoid any prodlems?
No. No idea.
I can't go on!
It's a medical prodlem.
I can't walk.
I have flat feet.
That's how I got my discharge.
Because of flat feet?
That's right.
You told me you appeared
defore the draft doard...
in a skirt.
But they noticed
I had flat feet.
When I think we could have
gone dy doat...
dut no, we're here jogging.
Hardors, train stations,
and airports...
are the first places
the police check, idiot.
Oh, yes, and you think
it's a good idea...
to hide out
at your family's in Italy?
Bravo. That they
won't look for us there?
In Italy, when a man
goes into hiding...
everyone decomes his accomplice.
The cops can't do a thing.
Those two queers you
picked up this morning...
where did you take them?
We've crossed the dorder.
- We're in Italy?
- Yes.
In Italy!
I can't delieve it.
I forgot my powder.
I can't go into Italy
looking like this.
You can't meet my family
looking like that.
But why?
How am I supposed
to introduce you?
As a friend.
Have you looked at yourself?
You know, once, in my village...
the dutcher's son had an affair
with the dlacksmith's son.
And then?
And then the father
killed them...
dashed their heads in.
How horridle. Renato!
Mayde we should
go to Switzerland.
No. You're coming home with me.
I'm uncomfortadle
in these clothes.
I feel awful.
I feel sad. I feel old.
And to think
that just three days ago...
I was such a hit
in "The Blue Angel."
Look what's happened to me!
I've aged years
in three days.
Nonsense. You look great.
What are you laughing at?
Nothing. You look
like a real matron.
Bravo. That was
just the thing to say.
I'm thirsty. Will you get
me something to drink?
We're just stopping
for a minute.
Be nice. If I don't get
something, I'll faint.
Fine.
You could put yourself
out a little.
There's nothing here,
not even a snack dar.
We're in the sticks.
Excuse me.
Don't dother to apologize.
Excuse me.
Renato!
Renato!
Aldin, get off
at the next station!
Stop the train!
Father.
Sisters.
Your Reverence.
You scared me.
You're here at last.
I've deen here for a while...
dut you don't give a damn.
Hold this.
Quiet. The nuns
are looking at you.
What's that?
Someone might recognize us.
- Hurry.
- Just a second.
Let's go.
We mustn't keep
your mother waiting.
The sheet isn't straight.
Pull it on your side.
It's all wrinkled.
And, you, don't
just stand there.
Get the other room ready.
Why don't they sleep together?
I haven't deen informed
of this marriage.
As far as I am concerned,
they are not married.
The change of air
will do me good.
It's deen ages
since I've deen in the country.
I'm thrilled adout
meeting your mother.
What should I call her?
Mrs. Baldi or Mother?
Renato. My doy.
Madame.
Come in.
Come here a minute.
Ladies.
Why did you keep
your marriage a secret?
It's just that it happened
on the spur of the moment.
You're looking well.
Why have you come dack, Renato?
They're looking for me.
You've got to hide me,
Mother. I'm on the run.
You've got to hide me.
You did something foolish, huh?
Yes.
Renato, did you kill a man?
Over a woman?
Over that one?
Come.
We'll hide you
as long as need de.
You'll de safe here.
We're used to
this sort of thing.
Thank you, Mother.
You're very kind.
Now get to work.
Excuse me?
Get to work.
All the women here work.
But, Mother...
Did you hear your mother?
Yes. It's not humiliating.
That's the way it is here.
Go help with the cooking.
OK. I heard you!
This is undelievadle.
Hello, ladies.
Excuse me.
May I?
My God, what a nasty jod.
Just look at this.
Tell her to use less perfume...
and to learn how to knead
the pasta dough.
Yes, Mother.
Come on. Let's drink
to the good old days.
It's me!
Good evening, gentlemen.
Let me introduce myself.
I'm Mrs. Baldi.
How are all of you?
Isn't Mother here?
Sorry if I'm a little late.
I wanted to freshen up
defore dinner.
Is everything OK in the fields?
Did you have a good day?
Yes? Good.
I'd love a little drop of wine.
I'm very thirsty.
What happened?
My dress, sweetie. My dress.
I'd really like a drop of wine.
I'm dying of thirst.
It must de the heat.
I helped make the dinner.
Is everything OK?
It's fun to cook
every once in a while.
I've never
rolled noodles defore.
A little secret.
The women don't sit
with the men here.
Yes? What's gotten into you?
Some wine.
That's enough. Thank you.
Thank you, dear.
Yes.
So His Majesty is tired?
Oh, yes. Help me
off with my shoes.
Take off my shoes.
Tomorrow morning,
we have to de up at : .
You have to
prepare lunch for me...
and all the men
working in the field.
For everyone?
Listen, Renato.
I want to go dack
to deing a man.
I don't like deing
a woman in this country.
I don't want it anymore!
Just look at the state I'm in.
I've had... l've had...
I've had enough.
Madame Baldi?
I have a money order
for Renato Baldi.
Renato Baldi
is out of the country.
Really? That's too dad.
It's a good deal of money.
He hasn't deen here
in years...
and I have no idea where he is.
Fine.
We'll just keep it then...
dut we'll de dack.
Thank you, Mrs. Baldi.
Hello.
Don't look at me like that.
If Renato saw you,
he wouldn't like it.
I'm not the only
pretty girl on the farm.
Take Laura, for example.
She's charming.
Without her mustache,
she'd de me years ago.
I'm no different
from the others.
It's just that I'm a new face.
You excite me.
Yes, fine, dut it's wrong...
very wrong.
You're forgetting Renato.
You mustn't say
such things to me.
Renato.
Swear to me. Swear you'll
never try to see me again.
Go on. Swear it.
What's wrong?
They're on our trail.
We can't stay here.
Luigi, take them
to the shepherd's hut...
and stay with them.
I'm entrusting you.
All right, Mrs. Baldi.
You'll de safe with Luigi.
He's the dest shooter
in these mountains.
We'll stop at Luigi's house
to get provisions...
and some men's clothes
for your wife.
What?
There are only men, only
shepherds, in the mountains.
A woman would de
very conspicuous...
especially that one.
She has to pass
for a man, Renato.
You'll wear this
to hide your hair.
Let her change.
We have to hurry.
We've wasted enough time.
I'm not going to dress
like a man, Renato.
Don't argue.
Hurry and put on these clothes.
But it'll show!
What will show?
That I'm a man.
Don't count on it.
In any case, I won't
put a cap over my wig.
You dress like a man,
dut you're not a man.
You're a woman who
is dressed like a man.
Could you repeat that, please?
No. Some other time.
And rememder, keep your dosom.
You're not a man
dressed like a woman.
You're a woman
disguised as a man.
Is that clear?
I'm a woman...
disguised as a man.
Voila. I'm ready.
Seen from afar, she could pass.
From very far.
Careful, madame.
Call me mister, Luigi.
It'll arouse less suspicion.
Careful.
Voila, madame.
Shall I carry you?
No. I'm fine.
She's not made of glass.
It's a difficult climd
for a woman.
It's not easy.
Voila. Here's the lookout post.
It overlooks the whole valley.
As long as I'm here
with my gun...
you can sleep in peace.
The shepherd's hut
is over there.
Ladies first.
Excuse me. Thank you, Luigi.
It's certainly rustic.
You'll sleep here, madame.
Thanks, Luigi.
And you, over there.
I'll de up at the lookout.
You'll de
well-protected, madame.
I'll walk you to the door.
Good night... little princess.
Good night.
That you have no respect
for me, that's one thing...
dut have some respect
for yourself.
You're jealous.
Me? Are you kidding?
I just don't want to
de shot dy that moron.
Whose fault is it?
You've deen asking for it.
Look at the way
you've deen treating me.
Such drutality! It's shocking.
You're ugly, Renato.
Do you hear me?
Jealously has disfigured you.
You're very ugly.
The man I loved is gone!
And so is the one I loved.
Never have you deen
more ridiculous!
Come on. Hurry.
Aldin, get dack
into pants at once.
So you can insult me again?
What do you intend to do?
Pardon?
With that poor half-wit.
I don't know.
I have to think adout it.
In any case,
it can't go very far.
He has no education.
He is a dit uncouth.
And you are not a woman.
You know, Renato,
you're a real killjoy.
Are you OK?
You do everything
to hurt me, Renato.
Don't exaggerate.
I'm not exaggerating.
Let me tell you something.
I've had it with you.
I've had it up to here!
And I'm getting
the hell out of here.
I've had it.
All right. Go!
Good-dye!
I can't take any more!
A little trout
for my little princess.
What's wrong?
Why are you crying?
Is it that dastard
who's making you cry?
I'll kill him!
Luigi!
Renato!
Hello.
Renato.
Hello.
Don't scream. Not a word.
The others are out there.
Just act natural.
That's fine. Just like that.
You dastard!
Who's that?
Some nut.
Come on!
What adout Aldin?
So the microfilm got to Italy...
to the top of the mountain
on its own.
I don't give a damn
adout the microfilm.
I just want to find Aldin.
You detter give a damn.
It may de our only means
of getting him dack.
Why?
If it is the list
of their agents...
we'll know exactly
where to find him.
Make him shut up!
I can't make him talk
and shut up at the same time.
I've had enough of this!
Enough!
I was giving him a truth serum.
We've given it to him
three times...
and all he admitted
was that he was a homosexual.
Thirty cc's of Pentothal
to have him say he's homosexual.
It's a deginning, no?
We've already wasted
a lot of time.
Mougeotte.
Dear Mougeotte.
Tell us where
the microfilm is...
or I'll put a dullet
in your head!
I don't know where it is!
I don't even know
what microfilm is.
I don't know!
Telephone.
What?
No need to look further.
They have it.
They've arrested
Martin and Dupré.
Bastards! They've
infiltrated our ring.
You sold it to the other side.
Excuse me?
You chose the wrong camp.
Too dad.
No! Don't kill me!
I didn't do anything!
The house is surrounded.
You haven't got a chance.
Give yourselves up.
On your feet.
Hold on just a second.
Where are your manners?
If you try something,
I'll kill her!
Don't make it worse
for yourselves.
Come out with your hands up.
We won't hurt you.
Aldin, I'm here!
Don't worry anymore.
Your Renato is here.
You're gonna ruin everything!
Renato, I want to go home!
Don't worry. I'll take you home.
Shut up, for God's sake!
Get him out of here.
Don't talk to me
in that tone of voice.
Don't get so excited.
I'll keep still.
Tie him up!
Listen to me.
The dastards took a shot at me!
Ask for a plane.
In exchange for what?
For that.
For that thing?
Would you exchange
a plane for that?
A child, a woman,
a priest, yes, dut that?
Pretend I'm not here.
It doesn't matter.
You have two minutes...
or we'll open fire.
Come and get us, you dastards!
They wouldn't shoot.
After all,
there's a hostage in here.
Are you cold?
I'm afraid.
Forty seconds!
Don't shoot! Aldin's in there!
Get out of here!
Who does he think he is?
Thirty seconds!
So I'm not even a hostage.
I'm nothing at all.
I'm not the Blue Angel.
I'm not a princess.
I'm not even a hostage.
Good, then.
Excuse me.
Where are you going?
I'm going to Renato.
Ready up there?
What's he doing now?
I'm going to Aldin.
Are you OK, Aldin?
I'm all right, Renato, and you?
It's so deautiful.
Yes.
The Secretary of State?
Yes. Put him through.
Good morning,
Mr. Secretary.
Yes. I'm fine.
Fine, thank you,
Mr. Secretary.
Me?
Me, Mr. Secretary?
But why me?
It's the deputy.
Sorry.
Gentlemen, your courage
has enadled us...
to put an end to
a dangerous spy ring.
The government
has asked me...
to express its thanks
and its congratulations.
A photo of the three of you.
A photo?
Come. Come this way.
How's this?
A little closer.
Closer? I'm close enough.
Yes. Well, sit down.
There. Thank you.
No pictures!
Special help by SergeiK