Voila! Finally, the Magnolia
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Paul Thomas Anderson
movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Magnolia. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
In the "New York Herald..."
November 26, year... 1911...
there is an account
of the hanging of three men.
They died for the murder
of Sir Edmund William Godfrey...
husband, father, pharmacist...
and all-around
gentleman resident of...
Greenberry Hill, London.
He was murdered
by three vagrants...
whose motive was simple robbery.
They were identified as...
Joseph Green...
Stanley Berry...
and Daniel Hill.
Green, Berry, Hill.
And I would like to think this
was only a matter of chance.
As reported
in the "Reno Gazette..."
June of ...
there is the story of a fire...
the water that it took
to contain the fire...
and a scuba diver
named Delmer Darion.
Employee of the Nugget Hotel
and Casino, Reno, Nevada...
engaged as a blackjack dealer.
Well-liked and well-regarded...
as a physical, recreational,
and sporting sort...
Delmer's true passion
was for the lake.
As reported by the coroner,
Delmer died of a heart attack...
somewhere between
the lake and the tree...
but most curious side note...
is the suicide the next day
of Craig Hansen...
volunteer fire-fighter,
estranged father of four...
and a poor tendency to drink.
Mr. Hansen was the pilot of
the plane that accidentally...
lifted Delmer Darion
out of the water.
Added to this,
Mr. Hansen's tortured life...
met before with Delmer Darion
just two nights previous.
All I need is a two.
All you need is a deuce.
All right.
That is an eight.
Glad you like my work.
Moment of truth.
The weight of the guilt...
and the measure
of coincidence so large...
Craig Hansen took his life.
And I am trying to think...
this was all only
a matter of chance.
The tale told
at a awards dinner...
for the American Association
of Forensic Science...
by Dr. John Harper,
president of the association...
began with
a simple suicide attempt.
Seventeen-year-old
Sydney Barringer...
in the city of Los Angeles
on March .
The coroner ruled that
the unsuccessful suicide...
had suddenly become
a successful homicide.
To explain... the suicide
was confirmed by a note...
in the right hip pocket
of Sydney Barringer.
At the same time young Sydney
stood on the ledge...
an argument swelled
three stories below.
The neighbours heard,
as they usually did...
the arguing of the tenants...
and it was not uncommon
for them...
to threaten each other
with a shotgun...
or one of the many handguns
kept in the house.
I'm going to put you down!
And when the shotgun
accidentally went off...
You asshole!
Sydney just happened to pass.
What?
Shut the fuck up!
Added to this,
the tenants turned out to be...
Fay and Arthur Barringer...
Sydney's mother and father.
When confronted
with the charge...
which took some figuring out
for the officers on the scene...
Fay Barringer swore she did not
know the gun was loaded.
She always threatens me with it,
but I don't keep it loaded.
And you didn't load the gun?
Why would I load the gun?
A young boy
who lived in the building...
sometimes a visitor and friend
to Sydney Barringer...
said that he had seen,
six days prior...
the loading of the shotgun.
Ricky, come here a minute.
It seems that all
the arguing and fighting...
and violence was far too much
for Sydney Barringer...
and knowing his mother and
father's tendency to fight...
he decided to do something.
He said he wanted them
to kill each other...
and all they wanted to do
was to kill each other...
and he would help them do that
if that's what they wanted.
Sydney Barringer jumps
from the ninth floor rooftop.
His parents argue
three stories below.
Her accidental shotgun blast
hits Sydney in the stomach...
as he passes the arguing
sixth floor window.
He is killed instantly,
but continues to fall...
only to find,
five stories below...
a safety net
installed three days prior...
for a set of window washers
that would've broken his fall...
and saved his life... if not
for the hole in his stomach.
So Fay Barringer was charged
with the murder of her son...
and Sydney Barringer noted as
an accomplice in his own death.
And it is in the humble opinion
of this narrator...
that this is not just
"something that happened."
This cannot be
"one of those things."
This, please, cannot be that.
And for what
I would like to say, I can't.
This was not just
a matter of chance.
These strange things
happen all the time.
In this big game
that we play, life...
it's not what you hope for
or deserve...
it's what you take.
I'm Frank T.J. Mackey,
a master of the muffin...
and author of the
"Seduce and Destroy" system...
now available to you
on audio and video cassette.
"Seduce and Destroy"
will teach you the techniques...
to have any hard-body blonde
just dripping to wet your dock.
Bottom line? Language.
The magical key to unlocking
the female analytical mindset.
Tap directly
into her hopes, her wants...
her fears, her desires,
and her sweet little panties.
Learn how to make
that lady "friend"...
your sex-starved servant.
"Seduce and Destroy" produces
a money-back guaranteed...
trance-like state
that will get you...
the naughty sauce you want fast.
How many more times...
do you need to hear
the all-too-famous line...
So?
"I just don't feel
that way about you"?
For over thirty years,
America has hung out...
and answered questions
with Jimmy Gator...
an American legend
and a true television icon.
Jimmy celebrates his th
hour of broadcast this week.
Have I been around that long?
He's a family man who's been
married for over forty years...
with two children
and one grandchild on the way.
We've tuned in each day to see
the human interaction...
between Jimmy
and some very special kids...
and we hope there's thirty more
years of watching that happen.
I'm Jimmy Gator.
Donald W. Winnicott.
. North America.
South America.
The answer is four.
Twenty-two. Gravity.
The answer is
"The Life of Samuel Johnson."
Let's go. You should've
done that ten minutes ago.
- We need more dog food.
- Talk in the car.
Look, I got
a serious audition today.
Come on. That one, too?
I need this one.
I don't understand why you need
bags of books to go to school.
There's no reason
for this many backpacks.
- Be ready at . .
- It should be . .
I told you I got an audition.
I won't be here till . .
Get your stuff.
I got to go. Love you.
Love you, too.
Donnie, do you have an answer?
I do, Jimmy. Prometheus.
It is!
Donnie, how does it feel?
Pretty exciting, getting braces.
You were so cute
on that game show.
Bet you can't answer
any questions now, though.
- We're all set to go, Donnie.
- Good.
I'll see you tomorrow morning.
You're running around
like crazy, huh?
Gonna be late for work.
The Quiz Kid Donnie Smith!
How's today, then?
Fucking bullshit
is what this is.
Fucking regrets.
And we do these things,
move through this life.
I'm going
to need your help, Phil.
You got to help me
on something today.
I'll take care.
Anything, Earl.
You're his doctor,
and that's why.
Tell me something.
And he needs more pills.
Fuck it.
He needs more pills,
and I need some answers...
so I'm coming to see you.
Good morning, Linda.
I love you, my darling.
I'll be back in a while.
I have to do some things.
I have to see something,
and I'll be back.
Fuck!
Press one to hear this person's
description of themselves...
and two to leave
a personal message of your own.
Well, hello. This is Jim.
I work in law enforcement.
I'm an officer for the LAPD...
and work out of
the North Hollywood district.
I love my job,
and I love to go to the movies.
I try to stay physically fit.
My job demands it.
So I'm in pretty good shape.
I'm getting up there, though.
I'm foot
and weigh about ...
if that's important to you.
I'm really interested
in meeting someone special...
who likes quiet things.
My life is very stressful...
and I hope for a relationship
that is very calm...
and undemanding and loving.
If you are this person, leave me
a message at box number - .
Thank you.
So much violence...
but that's the way of the world.
Good luck, as always.
Serve and protect and
all that other blah-blah-blah...
on the side of the car.
Let me tell you something.
This is not an easy job.
I get a call on the radio
from dispatch.
It's bad news...
and it stinks.
But this is my job,
and I love it.
Because I want to do well.
In this life and in this world,
I want to do well...
and I want to help people.
And I might get
twenty bad calls a day...
but one time
I can help someone...
I make a save...
I correct a wrong
or right a situation...
then I'm a happy cop.
And we move through this life,
we should try and do good.
Do good.
And if we can do that...
and not hurt anyone else...
well, then...
- Hello?
- Who is it?
Every time I turn around,
there's something else.
- Slow down.
- You can't just come in here!
The door was open, ma'am.
I got a call.
- You're not allowed to come in.
- Calm down.
I am calm.
I got a call to this apartment,
report of a disturbance.
There's no disturbance.
I got a call of a disturbance.
I want to see what's going on.
There's no disturbance.
Then, you got nothing
to worry about.
You don't tell me.
I know my rights. You can't...
Ma'am, you want to test me?
Want to tell me
about the law book?
You push me far enough,
I will take you to jail.
- Now calm yourself down.
- I am calm!
No. You are not calm.
You're screaming at me.
Do you understand?
I got a call of a disturbance,
and I'm checking it out.
That is what I'm going to do.
Are you alone in here?
I ain't got to answer you.
No, you don't, but I'm going
to ask you one more time.
Are you alone in here?
What does it look like?
- There's no one else in here?
- You in here.
That's true,
but is there anyone else...
besides me and you
in this house?
No. I said that already.
- Are you lying to me?
- I live by myself.
That might be true, but
the question I'm asking you...
Is there anyone else
in this house right now?
- What is your name?
- Marcie.
Marcie, I'm going to need you
to take a seat here.
I prefer to stand up.
I'm not asking.
I didn't even do nothing!
Move, ma'am.
Like I was saying, I'm here
to check on a disturbance.
Some of your neighbours heard
screaming and a loud crash.
I don't even know no loud crash.
- What was that?
- I didn't hear nothing.
Sit on the couch.
I ain't got to do
a goddamn thing.
- What's this bullshit?
- Do not do this.
- Do not slap me, ma'am.
- This is bullshit!
For what? Huh?
Tell me for what!
I asked you
to sit on the couch, ma'am.
This is bullshit.
Fucking bullshit.
-L-
I'm going to need backup.
What the fuck is this?
It's bullshit, motherfucker!
Stay right there, Marcie.
Fucking bullshit,
and you know it!
- Stay there, Marcie.
- Don't go in my bedroom!
This is bullshit, motherfucker!
Don't go down my hallway!
Don't go down
my motherfucking hallway!
LAPD!
Don't go in my goddamn bedroom!
Come out now with your hands up!
What'd I tell you?
Ain't nobody in there!
Where the fuck you going,
motherfucker?
Don't go in my goddamn bedroom!
Stay out of
my motherfucking closet!
What'd I tell you?
This is the police!
If anyone is in this closet,
come out now with your hands up.
Marcie, do not drag
that couch any further!
Don't do this, man!
There's nobody
in my motherfucking closet!
If I have to open this closet,
you will get shot!
Come back here, motherfucker!
What can't you goddamn
fucking talk to me?
There's nobody in there!
I told you!
Marcie, quiet down!
This don't make
no fucking sense!
This don't make
no goddamn sense!
This is bullshit, motherfucker!
Why can't you talk to me?
What the hell is this, Marcie?
That ain't mine.
He's fucking dying
as we're sitting here.
There's not a fucking...
Jesus, how can you tell me
to calm down?
I can help you through this
the best way I know how...
but there's certain things
you have to take care of.
We can go over them...
but I need to know that
you're listening to me.
I'm in a fucking state.
It's like he's going,
and I don't know...
Just tell me practical things,
like what to do with his body.
What do I do when he dies?
What happens then?
That's what Hospice
can take care of for you.
They'll send over a nurse...
No. He has Phil now.
Phil's one of the nurses
from the service?
If you're happy with Phil
taking care of him, fine...
but contact Hospice
to arrange for the body.
You don't understand.
There's more pain, and the
fucking pills aren't working.
The past two days,
he can't really swallow...
and I don't know
if the pills are going down.
I can't see inside
his mouth anymore.
I'm up all night
staring at him...
and I don't know
if the pills are going down.
He moans and he hurts.
We can fix that,
because I can give you...
Are you listening?
I'm listening.
I'm getting better.
Do you want to sit down?
I need to sit down.
Linda,
Earl's not going to make it.
He's dying. He is.
Very, very rapidly.
The thing here is
to make this experience...
as painless and easy for him
as possible.
You understand?
Hospice will take care of
all the technical things.
They will help you
and take care of the body.
They are who you call
when he dies.
There's the number of Hospice.
Now, as far as
the morphine pills go...
there's something else
to consider.
There's a very potent solution
of liquid morphine.
And it's a little bottle,
has an eyedropper.
Very easy to get into his mouth
and drop on his tongue...
and it will certainly diminish
the pain that he's in.
But you need to realize
that once you give it to him...
there really is no going back.
It will
certainly cure his pain...
but he will drift
in and out of consciousness...
even worse than he is now.
All sign of the recognizable
Earl will pretty much go away.
What the fuck can I say to that?
I don't know
what to say to that.
I don't want to do this...
Sit here.
I can see the thing, you know.
It's getting there,
that's the cocksucker.
I see that pen.
I see it.
I know it's there.
I reach for it.
No, no goddamn use.
I have a son, you know.
You do? Where is he?
I don't know.
I mean...
he's around.
He's here in town,
but I don't know.
You know...
He's a tough one.
Very.
Got a girlfriend, Phil?
- Get a girlfriend.
- I'm trying.
Do good things with her.
Share the things.
All that bullshit is true.
Find a good one,
hold on, and all that.
Where's Linda?
She went out
to run some errands.
She'll be back.
She's a good girl.
She's a little nuts,
but she's a good girl, I think.
She's a little daffy.
She loves you.
Well, maybe.
Yeah. She's a good one.
When's the last time
you talked to your son?
I don't know.
Ten.
Maybe ten... five.
Fuck. Fuck.
It's another thing that goes.
Your memory?
Time lines, you know?
I can remember things,
but not right there.
You know?
The fuck you know.
I've seen it before.
Other fucking assholes like me?
- There's no asshole like you.
- Cocksucker.
How come every word you use...
is "cocksucker,"
"shit-balls," or "fuck"?
- Do me a personal favour.
- Go fuck myself.
You got it. God.
I can't...
I can't hold on to this
any longer.
Want another morphine pill?
No.
Give me the fucking phone.
Who you gonna call?
I want to see this.
Where is he?
- Who?
- Jack.
Is Jack your son?
Do you want to call him
on the phone?
I can dial the number
if you can remember it.
It's not him.
It's not him.
He's a fucking asshole.
Phil, come here.
This is so boring.
So goddamn...
That dying wish...
and all that
old-man-on-a-bed...
wants one thing...
Find him on a...
Frank.
His name's Frank Mackey.
Frank Mackey?
That's your son?
Not my name.
Go find...
Find Lily.
Give me that. Give me.
Give me...
If you give me that...
over there on...
Fuck. I can't hold on to this.
I got it.
Respect the cock.
And tame the cunt!
Tame it!
Take it on headfirst
with the skills...
that I will teach you at work
and say no!
You will not control me!
No!
You will not take my soul!
No!
You will not win this game!
Because it's a game, guys.
You want to think it's not?
Go back to the schoolyard...
and you have that crush
on big-titted Mary Jane.
Respect the cock.
You are embedding this thought.
I am the one who's in charge.
I am the one who says yes!
No!
Now!
Here!
Because it's universal, man.
It is evolutional.
It is anthropological.
It is biological.
It is animal.
We...
are...
men!
You Gwenovier?
I'm Captain Muffy,
Frank's personal assistant.
This is Doc.
We can go in right down here.
He started
about thirty-five minutes ago...
but he's probably getting
all pumped up right now.
Look down
at the top of the page.
What does it say?
Get a calendar!
That's right.
I cannot stress this enough.
It's a simple item.
It's cents at the store.
But if you look into your packs,
reach deep...
you'll see I have been
nice enough to include one.
That's just
the kind of prick I am.
You need this calendar.
It doesn't seem like much.
It's a simple, small item...
but it is going to make all
the difference in your world.
You meet a girl,
you work an A- interruption.
Say, an eight-day waiting period
before next contact.
How are you going to know
when those eight days are up?
That's right.
You mark that calendar.
You're going to stick with me
and this calendar...
and you're going to set goals.
If you really want to make
that friend something else...
you have to be tough
on yourself.
You have to set goals.
You, sir,
in the brown short-sleeve shirt.
I can't read your name tag.
What's your name?
Hi, is Frank there?
No, you have the wrong number.
I'm sorry.
I'm looking for a Frank Mackey.
There's no Frank here.
Is this - - ?
Yeah, but you have
the wrong number.
Do you know a Jack,
by any chance?
Just a regular deal.
Loosers and tighters.
- We're all set upstairs.
- Thanks.
She called me up and asked me
for advice about a guy.
- Got everything you need?
- All set.
Does she know
how you feel about her?
Yes. Absolutely.
And what did she say?
She says she doesn't
feel that way about me.
I don't think there's
anyone in this room...
that doesn't understand
that kind of pain, Geoff...
and I want to thank you
for sharing that.
Let me tell you what
we're going to teach Denise...
when we put our calendars
to work and set goals.
What I say is, "Denise..."
"Denise the Piece."
I mark it down.
I write it up.
And you have been warned.
Because I have my lasers...
I have my Tasers,
I have my ICBMs...
I have my bazookas,
my jets pointed right at you.
Because me and my brothers,
we like to celebrate.
And on the first of May,
we celebrate V-Day.
And come June, baby,
it is the lick of my spoon.
Come August,
we like to celebrate...
Saint Suck My Big Fat
Fucking Sausage!
I set goals for myself...
and when I say I do not
want to take it anymore...
I will not take it anymore.
You think
she's your friend, Geoff?
They're not your friends.
Do you really think she'll
be there when things go bad?
When things go wrong,
think they'll be there for us?
You think again.
Fucking Denise,
Denise the Piece...
you're gonna give me that
cherry pie, sweet mama baby.
Yeah, but listen up,
that is not to say...
that we don't all need
females just as friends...
because we'll learn later
in Chapter Twenty-three...
having a couple
of chick friends...
comes in real handy
in setting jealousy traps.
We'll get to that later.
Right now, pull out
your blue booklets, page .
We're going quickly,
but we'll workshop it later.
Eighteen, blue booklet.
This is simple and clean,
and if done correctly...
can be very effective
in getting some bush.
Here we go.
Call your so-called friend
and set a date.
Make it around . .
Call her on the phone.
Hi. Is Claudia here?
She's sleeping.
Are you her boyfriend?
You're Jimmy Gator, right?
That's right.
What's your name?
I'm Ray.
So, are you her boyfriend?
- No, I'm just a friend.
- I see.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm her father.
Mind if I come in?
Sure.
Thanks.
What the fuck is this?
It's me, Claudia.
What do you want?
Why are you here?
I'd like to talk to you.
Your boyfriend let me in.
That's not my boyfriend.
Want to call me a slut?
No, I don't.
What the fuck do you want?
I want to sit and talk with you.
Don't sit down!
I want to.
God, I want so many things.
Maybe we could just talk
and straighten out...
I don't want to talk to you!
I have to talk about
so many things.
I don't want to talk to you!
It doesn't have to be now.
We can make a date
to set some other time.
I didn't mean to walk in on you
like this.
Why are you here?
Why are you doing this?
You want to call me a whore?
I don't want you to think
I'm that way to you.
I won't call you a slut.
Yeah, right.
What are you doing here?
What the fuck are you
doing in my house?!
Please don't yell.
Honey, just don't go crazy.
I'm not crazy!
Don't you tell me
that I'm crazy!
I'm sick, Claudia.
Fuck you!
No, please, listen to me.
Listen to me right now, Claudia.
I am dying.
I got sick, and I fell down...
Fuck you!
Get the fuck out of my house!
I'm dying.
I have cancer, Claudia.
And I'm dying very soon.
Fuck you.
It's metastasized in my bones.
I'm not lying to you.
This is the truth.
I'm telling you, Claudia,
I'm going to lose.
Get out.
Get the fuck out of here!
Get out! Go!
Your mother would like
to hear from you.
Fuck you. Get out!
Get the fuck
out of my house now!
Get out!
Hey, Avi.
Just one sec.
- Please.
- Don't do this.
This is so fucked, Solomon!
I don't deserve this!
Don't get strong, Donnie.
This is making sense.
This is making a lot of sense.
You are not doing the job
I ask you to do.
A job I give you.
Over and over and over.
I'm sorry, but I won't say
I'm sorry much more.
I don't have any money, Solomon.
If you fire me...
I pay you!
I give you a paycheque!
Your sales suck, Don!
I give! I give!
When I find you,
when I meet you, what?
I put your name up
on a fucking billboard.
I put you in my store.
My salesman.
My fucking representation
of Solomon Solomon Electronic!
The Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
from the game show!
I lent you my celebrity,
my name! Exactly!
Fuck you! Fuck you!
I paid you! I paid you!
I gave you a fucking chance,
over and over, you let me down!
I trust you with so much!
Keys to my store.
The codes to my locks.
The life and blood
of my business!
In return,
you smash in -Eleven!
Always late! Loans!
The loans I give you
for your kitchen you never did!
I paid you back!
Two years later
and from your paycheque!
I never charged interest!
Solomon, please!
I am so fucked here
if you do this!
This is the worst timing
I could ever imagine!
I need to keep working!
I have so many debts,
so many things...
I have my surgery!
- My oral surgery coming!
- What surgery?
Oral surgery!
Corrective teeth surgery!
- What is that?
- Braces!
- You don't need braces.
- I do!
- Your teeth are straight.
- I need surgery!
You got struck by lightning
on vacation in Tahoe.
I don't think braces
is a good idea.
Solomon, just let me
ask you once, please.
Please don't do this.
- How are you paying for them?
- I don't know!
How much are braces anyway?
It doesn't matter.
It's like $ .
I've seen it.
You're pissing me off.
This is fucking incredible.
You're paying $
for braces you don't need?
- I've been a good worker.
- Don't do this!
Where are you getting the money?
- I don't know!
- You were going to ask me!
- I've been a good worker.
- No need for braces.
That is none of your business!
I've been a good worker for you,
you fucking assholes!
Donnie, watch it now.
Give me your keys.
Give me your fucking keys!
Identified as Porter Parker,
age fifty-nine...
better known as
the dead guy in the closet.
So says the building guy,
this is her husband.
He doesn't live here.
Comes around, raises some shit,
screaming and yelling.
There's a son and a kid.
- Her son?
- Right. And the kid.
They were here,
and from late last night...
through the morning,
it was screaming and yelling.
- And where are they?
- Not to be found.
Got $ and a large box
of condoms next to the bed.
- She was real belligerent.
- Three wedding rings.
Guys coming in and out all day.
This from the building guy.
He says the son and closet guy
are always going at it.
- What is she saying?
- Not a goddamn thing.
Thanks, Randy.
How much you pay me for my help?
It's more complicated than that,
little man.
Put me on the payroll
and find out what's up.
You don't just sign up
to be a police officer.
It's about
three years of training.
I'm trained.
I'm ready to go.
- Want to buy some candy?
- Sorry, little man.
You want to take my statement?
I'll perform for you.
Gotta get paid, though.
Why aren't you in school today?
No school today.
My teacher got sick.
You don't have
substitute teachers at school?
No.
What'd they find out in there?
That's confidential information,
little man.
Tell me what you know.
I'll tell you what I know.
No can do.
Leave this to the detectives,
they ain't going to solve shit.
I can help you.
Make you the man with the plan.
Give you the gift that I flow.
Want to know who killed him?
You come here.
Come here. Want to disrespect
an officer of the law?
I can help you solve the case.
Tell you who did it.
You're a joker, huh?
Telling me jokes?
- I'm a rapper.
- You're a rapper.
- Got a record contract?
- Not yet.
Give you a clue for the bust
if you show me some trust.
You ever been to juvenile hall?
I ain't fucking with you!
Watch the mouth. Watch it.
Come on, man, just watch me.
Watch and listen.
Presence
With a double-ass meaning
gifts I bestow
With my riff and my flow,
but you don't hear me, though
Think fast, catch me, yo
Because I throw what I know
with a resonance
For your trouble-ass fiend
in weening yourself
Off the back of the shelf
Jackass,
crackers, bodystackers
Dick-tooting niggers,
masturbating your triggers...
Hold it, homeboy.
I don't need to hear that word.
Living to get older
with a chip on your shoulder
Except you think you got a grip
Because your hip got a holster
Ain't no confessor, so, busta,
you better just shut the fuck up
Try to listen and learn...
Cut it, Coolio.
I've had enough of
the mouth and the language.
I'm almost done!
Finish it up without the lip.
Check that ego
Come off it, I'm the prophet
The professor,
I'm-a teach you about the Worm
Who eventually
turned to catch wreck
With the neck
of a long-time oppressor
And he's running from the devil,
but the debt is always gaining
And if he's worth being hurt,
he's worth bringing pain in
When the sunshine don't work,
the good Lord bring the rain in
Now, that shit will help you
solve the case.
Whatever that meant.
I'm sure it's real helpful,
Ice-T.
Did you listen to me?
I was listening to you.
I told you who did it,
and you're not even listening.
I'm through playing games.
Be cool.
Stay in school.
Get out of the street now.
Move it.
- Come on, let's go.
- You're late, not me.
- You could have been in front.
- I didn't see you.
Why didn't you just...
You could've come in the front.
Hurry up.
All right,
you ready to keep winning?
Sure.
You OK?
Almost busted my ankle there.
Have that makeup lady
fix your hair.
It's really wet.
There you are!
- I'm sorry we're late.
- That's all right.
We got caught in traffic.
Your book's OK.
- How you doing?
- I'm fine.
Ready to go, go, go?
Do you know anybody involved
with that Alan Thicke thing?
The Corey Haim terrorist
in the high school?
Where's Richard and Julia?
They're here.
They're fine.
They're in the dressing room,
so we're all set.
- See you later.
- Go to it, handsome.
- See you.
- OK, buddy, love you.
- Good luck, Rick.
- Hey, Peter.
Dick. I'm sorry. Dick.
Fuck.
Can't get that fucking name.
Who's ready to beat the record?
That was close.
It's cats
and fucking dogs out there.
Cats and dogs indeed.
I've never seen it rain
this bad since last year.
Because of La Niņa or El Niņo
or whatever the shit.
No bueno El Niņo.
Sorry I'm late.
- What was your name again?
- Amy, Mr. Jennings.
Call me D.J.
Listen.
Trust me.
Stay focused.
Where's the news department
at the studio?
- It's upstairs.
- Have you ever been there?
Sure. Why?
I was wondering about
the weather department.
If they have outside
meteorological services...
or if they have
in-house instruments.
I can check on that for you,
and later we can take a tour.
Sounds good?
You asking because
it's raining outside?
I guess.
Whatever's happening,
that's what you look into?
I don't know.
You don't know?
It's not a bad way to be.
Interested in everything
that's going around.
Wet is wet.
Just that simple.
- Hi, Mary.
- Hi, hon, Stanley.
Rose is on the phone.
Here are today's cards.
Fifteen minutes to go over
those cards.
- Sorry.
- Find Paula for me.
Now? We're on the air
in twenty minutes.
Fucking hell, Mary.
Yeah? Hi.
- Hi, how you doing?
- I'm drinking.
- Slowly or quickly?
- As fast as I can.
You come home
soon after the show.
I went to see her.
Some asshole answers the door
in his underwear.
He's fifty years old.
There's coke and shit
laid out on the table.
Did she talk to you?
She went fucking crazy, Rose.
- Did you tell her?
- I don't know.
I gotta go.
I don't have time.
Got a lot more drinking to do.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
Shit.
Fuck.
Police! Open the door!
Who is it?
LAPD! Open the door!
I'm coming!
I have to get dressed!
You're not coming fast enough!
Open the door!
Didn't you hear me?
I said I'm coming,
and that means I'm coming!
I just have to get dressed,
all right?
I have to get dressed!
I hate coming here
and not being able to talk.
It's fine.
I understand.
I wish the circumstance
was better.
I don't know
what's going to happen.
I feel so over the top
with everything.
Running out of
your medication at all...
let alone at a time like this,
could be drastic.
Thank you, Dr. Diane.
Stanley Spector
and his brilliant friends...
Richard and Julia can defeat
today's adult challengers...
Mim, Luis, and Todd.
They're moving towards a half
million dollar team total...
and
a "What Do Kids Know?" record!
Pink Dot.
Hi. I'd like to get
an order for delivery.
- Phone number?
- - - .
Partridge?
What would you like?
I'd like to get an order
of peanut butter...
cigarettes,
Camel Lights, water...
Bottled water?
No. You know what,
forget the water.
Just give me a loaf of bread.
White bread.
And do you have
"Playboy" magazine?
One of those.
And "Penthouse," the magazine?
You have that?
One of those.
And "Hustler"?
Do you have that?
- Yeah, I said. That it?
- That's it.
Still want the peanut butter,
bread, and cigarettes?
Yeah. What?
The total is . .
Thirty minutes or less.
Thank you.
- Cash or credit card?
- Cash.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
Respect the cock
and tame the cunt!
Have a great lunch!
This is Gwenovier
from the show "Profiles."
She's here for the interview.
- It's nice to meet you.
- I admire your work.
Thank you.
I have us set up...
It's not very safe for you here.
I finish one of
these seminars, Gwenovier...
I swear to fucking God,
I am Batman.
I'm Superman.
I'm like a fucking action hero,
the way I feel after that.
I could walk outta this room
right now, Gwenovier...
go down the hall,
walk down the street...
and I could pick up
any sweet little honey...
that has even one second
to stop.
- One second?
- Just one second, girl.
One glance, one hesitation...
one subtle look my way
for me to know...
and then it is
bing, bang, boom.
Oh, my God!
I'm away on a tangent.
I tell you...
Don't hurt yourself, OK?
I tell you, I do.
I get so fucking jazzed
at these seminars...
because I am what I believe.
I do as I say.
I live by these rules...
as religiously as I preach them.
That's why I am getting
the nasty...
left, right, centre,
up, down, sideways.
The Battle of the Bush is being
fought and won by Team Mackey.
We'll start rolling now.
What?
I thought we were rolling.
Come on, go, go, go, Gwenovier.
I am firing pearls at you here.
I want you to know that I'm not
succeeding in the bush...
because I'm Frank T.J. Mackey.
You think about this.
There are women...
who want to destroy me.
No. I find that hard to believe.
It makes it very difficult,
twice as hard for me.
There's some little hottie
I'm moving in on...
knows me, knows my plans
and my schemes, you know?
She'll want to fuck with me.
She'll go back,
tell her friends.
"Frank T.J. Mackey,
he ain't all that.
"He ain't all that.
Didn't get me."
So, me, I am...
I'm just on full afterburners...
full throttle
through hottie heaven.
- Just dodging left...
- Yes, I understand.
These bullets
from these terrorists.
Babe, beauties.
Calm down, take it easy,
and be a good boy...
OK, Mr. Mackey?
Thank you.
You sit back there...
put your microphone
on for me, please.
So we can do this thing,
all right?
Yes, ma'am.
Let me start by asking you...
Just one second.
You missed a button.
Thank you.
What do you want to know?
Make it happen.
This is you, Donnie.
Go, go, go!
Hello.
You're back again, huh?
Yes.
Hi. How are you?
- What can I get you?
- A Diet Coke.
You look tired.
Want one of these?
Better pour you
one of these, huh?
Can you ring me up?
- Brad, good to see you.
- It's good to see you.
You make that down payment
on that Harley yet?
Not yet.
I'll make it next week.
You ever get out of here?
Six days a week.
You'll be the first to go.
I would love that.
- Want another one?
- Yes, please.
I'd like a tequila.
- What kind?
- It doesn't matter.
Open up the door now!
Yes, hi! Hello!
I'm sorry.
I had to get dressed.
You the resident here?
You alone in there?
There's no one else
in there with you?
What's wrong?
First of all,
turn down the music...
so we can have a conversation.
You mind if I come in?
No. Go ahead.
You got your neighbours
real worried for you.
Sorry.
You live alone?
- What's your name?
- Claudia.
- Claudia what?
- Wilson.
Claudia Wilson...
are you trying to go deaf?
What?
Did you hear what I just said?
Yes, but I don't know what...
You're listening
to your music so loud...
you're going to damage
your ears.
You continue to listen
to your music at that level...
then you're going to damage
not only your ears...
but your neighbours' ears
as well.
I didn't realize
it was that loud.
That right there is the first
sign of hearing loss.
I see you got
your TV on there, too.
You usually keep that on
at the same time?
I don't know.
What is this?
You been doing
some drugs today, Claudia?
Have you been doing
some drinking?
I got a call
of a disturbance here.
Some loud music..."A"...
Some screaming and yelling.
Has there been some
screaming and yelling here?
I had someone come to my door.
Someone that I didn't
want to hear.
And I told them to leave,
so it's no big deal.
They left. I'm sorry.
Was that your boyfriend?
You don't have a boyfriend?
Well, who was it?
I was... He's gone.
I mean, it's not...
It's over, you know?
Mind if I have a look around
for your safety?
It's fine.
What are you looking for?
Claudia, why don't you let me
handle the questions...
and you handle the answers?
I'm here to help you.
Do you still
have to do homework?
Not as much as I used to.
Since we started,
I haven't gone to school much.
I've had so many auditions.
I don't have
regular classes anymore.
What do you do?
They let me have
my own study time...
my own reading time
in the library.
That's pretty cool.
Do you have an agent, Stanley?
You should get one.
I'm serious.
You could get a lot
of stuff outta this.
Like what?
Like endorsements and shit!
Bite it, Cynthia.
You can get free stuff...
from people who want you
to endorse their product.
Commercials, a sitcom,
an M.O.W. or something.
What's M.O.W.?
Hello! Movie of the week.
I went for one this morning
with Alan Thicke and Corey Haim.
Was it a call-back?
No. But I'll probably
get a call-back.
If we beat the record,
you might get a call-back.
I'll get it because
I'm a good actress, Richard.
- Saucy, saucy!
- Guys, settle down.
- Cynthia?
- What?
- I gotta go to the bathroom.
- Can you hold it?
Yes siree!
That was absolutely fantastic,
and I thank you very much.
As a matter of fact...
we may take you folks
on the road with us...
That's my thing.
I'm serious.
Milk and sports, man.
You never heard milk and sports?
Anything baseball
or dealing with numbers...
when it comes to those
or who broke whatever record.
Any kind of dairy product
or dairy recipe.
Like goat milk, goat cheese,
all that stuff.
Check this out over here.
So, guys,
just work with me on that.
Excuse me, can you bring me
low fat milk, please?
A couple of ice cubes.
They don't look so tough.
Do they look smart?
What are they going to do,
beat us?
Maybe.
We're not going out two days
before we set the record.
They want us done, they'll call
in the Harvard SWAT team.
Ready to run.
- You smell like trouble.
- I'm fucking hammered.
You OK?
Good. You have a chance
to look those over?
It's the same fucking shit
for thirty years, Burt.
You look like you have money
in your pocket.
Maybe I'm just happy to see
my friend Brad there.
Just throw some money around.
Money, money, money.
This sounds threatening.
Do you have love in your heart?
I have love all over.
I even have love for you,
friend.
Is it real love?
The kind of love
that makes you feel...
that intangible joy
in the pit of your stomach...
like a bucket of acid and nerves
running around...
making you hurt
and happy and all over...
You're head over heels?
You lost me with the last
couple of cocktail words...
but I believe
it's that sort of love.
Sounds nice to me.
I have love.
A very chatty kind.
Indeed you do.
No, I mean I'm telling you.
I have love.
Yes, and I'm listening
avidly, fella.
My name is Donnie Smith,
and I have lots of love to give.
Lot of stuff here, huh?
It's thirty seconds.
Got my eye on you.
I'll be back.
What the fuck's
going on over there?
I gotta go to the bathroom.
Jesus Christ, Stanley!
No, you cannot do that.
Let me explain something
to you people.
You have to tone it.
Don't be real aggressive.
You have to be subtly abusive
so they don't know it.
"No, you're not going outside
and play with your friends...
"until that entire room
is cleaned floor to ceiling."
Julia's room's the same way.
Like a pigsty.
But it's outfits now.
You should have seen what she
had on walking out the door!
I said, "We're going to school,
not a fashion show."
It's not a fashion show.
It's school, for goodness sake!
Let's make some fucking
money here, people.
You with me, Jimmy?
The book says, "We may be
through with the past...
"but the past
ain't through with us."
"We met upon the level, and
we're parting on the square."
In my fucking sleep, Burt.
And five, four, three, two...
Live,
from Burbank, California...
it's "What Do Kids Know?"
Going into our
thirty-third year on the air...
it's America's
longest-running quiz show...
and the place where three kids
get to challenge three adults...
and in the end,
we'll see who's the boss.
Moving towards their eighth
consecutive week as champions...
we have the kids...
Richard, Julia, and Stanley!
And our new adult challengers
are Mim, Luis, and Todd.
And me, I'm Dick Jennings...
and say hello to your favourite
host and my boss...
Jimmy Gator!
Back again, again, again!
I'm Jimmy Gator,
and believe it or not...
we are at the end of week seven,
heading towards week eight...
with these three incredible kids
who... hello, hello...
are just two days
and two games away...
from the
"What Do Kids Know?" record...
for the longest-running
quiz show in television history.
Now, we are
endorsed by the PTA...
and the North American
Teacher's Foundation.
We do try to keep
our standards high...
and that's why we are
the longest-running quiz show...
in television history!
I want to say something
about these kids.
These kids right here,
they'll be here a while.
But today's
a dangerous day because...
I have just met with the adult
challengers backstage...
and let me tell you...
they are a terrific challenge
for our kids.
So let's get this show
up and away, shall we?
We want to know
where your son is, Marcie.
Jerome Samuel Hall.
Did he fight with your husband?
Is this the Worm?
Maybe they had a fight.
Maybe it was an accident.
Do they call him Worm?
We want to know
where your son is, Marcie.
Do they call him Worm?
Help us help your son,
Marcie.
Do they call him Worm?
Help us help your son,
Marcie.
Your son and your grandson.
Help us help them.
Is this the Worm?
Let's jump right in.
A quick recap
for those who don't know.
Round One. Three categories.
Steals are OK.
Point scale escalating
from to ...
one of which
is a conversation bonus.
That'll be . .
The categories are...
"Authors,
Chaos Versus Superstring...
"and Rub-a-Dub."
Max. Thanks.
Adults won a coin toss
backstage...
so they get to pick first.
Team captain... Mim.
Got it.
First question for twenty-five.
This female author's most famous
work..."O Pioneers!"
Willa Cather.
Willa Cather for twenty-five.
Best known for the Tragedy and
Blood genre, this playwright...
Thomas Kyd.
This French playwright and actor
joined the Béjart troupe...
MolČire.
I'm afraid I'm going
to need a full name, Stanley.
Jean-Batiste Poquelin MolČire.
What the fuck is this?
God damn.
My little fucker.
I have no idea
where he gets this shit.
He's a fucking genius, really.
This is Chad.
Can I have your phone number?
Hello. Great.
This is "Seduce and Destroy"?
Yes, it is. Can I have
your home phone number?
I don't want
to order anything.
I have a situation
that's just come up...
that's really pretty serious...
and I don't know who to talk to
or what I should do...
but maybe you could put me
in touch with somebody...
if I explain myself?
We're really only equipped
to take orders here, sir.
It's just us with the phones,
and that's what we do.
Could you connect me with
somebody else, you think?
What's the situation?
OK, great.
Let me try to explain myself
without it seeming crazy.
But here I go.
My name is Phil Parma...
and I work for a man
named Earl Partridge...
Mr. Earl Partridge.
I'm his nurse.
He's a very sick man.
He's a dying man,
and he's sick...
and he's asked me
to help him...
to help him find his son.
Hello? Are you there?
I'm here. I'm listening.
OK. You see...
Frank T.J. Mackey
is Earl Partridge's son.
So where are you
from originally?
- Around here.
- Valley?
- Hollywood, mainly.
- What did your parents do?
My father was in television.
My mother... This is going
to sound silly to you.
- Try me.
- She was a librarian.
Why does that sound silly?
I don't know.
I guess it doesn't.
Does your mother still work?
No, she's retired.
Are you close?
She's my mother.
Yes, but she's a woman, too.
How does she feel about
"Seduce and Destroy"?
What does she say?
Well, she says,
"You go get them, honey."
What about your father?
My father.
Unfortunately, he passed away.
I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
No, please.
I wouldn't have brought
that up if I had known.
It's a very hard thing.
Please.
Yes, it is, but... listen.
You have to move forward.
The past has its place.
It was a long time ago
and people die.
Let's switch gears here.
According to your book,
you ended up at UC Berkeley?
- ' -' .
- Psychology major.
- That's right.
- Get your masters?
This close.
That's impressive in five years.
Cap, can I have some coffee?
Can I get you anything?
No, I'm good.
She's good.
I need coffee.
Cats and dogs out there, huh?
Must have a lot going on
for all that stuff back there.
You could...
You could have quite a party
with all that stuff.
You been on Prozac long?
Dexedrine?
I don't...
Interesting drugs.
Dexedrine's basically
speed in a pill, you know?
But I guess
a lot of the doctors...
are balancing out the Prozac
with the Dexedrine.
That liquid morphine
will knock you down...
out, around, up and down,
someone's not careful.
You can't mix those up.
Strong stuff here, boy.
What exactly you have wrong,
you need all this stuff?
- Motherfucker!
- What?
What are you talking about?
You fucking asshole!
Who the fuck
do you think you are?
I come in here...
you don't know who I am,
what my life is...
and you have the balls,
the indecency...
to ask me a question
about my life?
Please, lady,
why don't you just calm down?
Fuck you, too!
Don't you call me lady!
I come in here,
I give these things to you...
you check,
you make your phone calls...
look suspicious, ask questions!
I'm sick!
I have sickness all around me,
and you ask me my life?
What's wrong?
Have you seen death in your bed?
In your house?
Where's your fucking decency?
And then I'm asked
fucking questions.
What's... wrong?!
You suck my dick!
That's what's wrong!
And you fucking call me lady?!
Shame on you!
Shame on both of you!
So why don't they
have the same last name?
Because they don't
have the same last name.
I know, and I can't
really explain that.
But I have a feeling there is
a situation between them...
like they don't know
each other much or well.
Something like they don't
talk much any more, even.
God, does this sound weird?
I just don't understand
why you're calling me.
There's no number for Frank
in any of Earl's stuff...
and he's pretty out of it.
Like I said, he's dying...
dying of cancer. So...
- What kind of cancer?
- Brain and lung.
- My mother had breast cancer.
- I'm sorry.
- Is she all right?
- She's fine now.
- That's good.
- It was scary, though.
- It's a hell of a disease.
- It sure is.
Wait, I'm sorry.
So why call me?
I know this sounds silly,
and I might sound ridiculous...
like this is the scene
of the movie...
where the guy tries to get a hold
of the long-lost son...
but this is that scene.
And I think they have
those scenes in movies...
because they're true.
Because they really happen...
and you gotta believe me,
this is really happening.
I can give you my number
and you can go check...
with whoever you gotta
check with and call me back...
but do not leave me
hanging on this.
All right? Please.
I'm just... Please.
See...
this is the scene of the movie
where you help me out.
You're great.
These are great questions.
Good. I thought
you grew up in the Valley.
Like I said... around.
You went to Van Nuys High?
I wouldn't say I went.
I frequented.
I was misguided, pathetic.
Definitely not
the Frank T.J. Mackey...
you're so eagerly wanting
to put on national television.
Because I was swimming
in what was...
as opposed to what I wanted.
- Where does that name come from?
- My name?
It's not your given name?
It's my mother's name, actually.
That's good.
Done your research.
- And Frank?
- My mother's father.
That's why.
See, I had some trouble...
locating your school records
at UCLA and Berkeley.
It's your name change...
because they had
no official enrolment for you.
No, they wouldn't.
No. Because I was never
officially enrolled there.
- Was that unclear?
- Kind of.
God, I wouldn't want
that to be misunderstood.
My enrolment
was totally unofficial.
Sadly, I couldn't afford
to pay the tuition up there.
But there were
three wonderful professors...
kind enough to let me
to sit in their classes.
Macready, Horn, and Langtree,
among others.
You're welcome
to call them if you like.
I didn't get a free ride.
So what we're looking at here
is a true rags-to-riches story.
That's why people respond
so strongly to "Seduce."
Because at the end of the day...
"Seduce" may not be just
about picking up chicks...
and sticking your cock in.
It's about finding out
what you can be in this world...
defining it,
controlling it, and saying...
"I will take what is mine."
And you just happen to get
a little blow job out of it...
then, hey, what the fuck?
There you go.
End of Round One.
Excellent work.
I think we should take
a look at the scores here.
Kids are up a leg with ...
and the adults are down
a little bit with .
So we'll be back for Round Two
in a ring-dang-doo!
Hello, hello!
Bonus musical question.
And the winner is...
Kids!
Kids are in the lead.
They get a chance to pull
further and farther ahead...
if they answer the following
secret bonus musical question.
Now what I'm going to do
is read a line from an opera.
I want you to give me
that line back...
in the language in which the
opera was originally written.
And for a bonus ... ...
you can sing it!
Here's the line.
"Love is a rebellious bird
that nobody can tame.
"And it's all in vain
to call it...
"if it chooses to refuse."
Well, that was in French...
and that was from
the opera "Carmen..."
and that goes...
L'amour est
un oiseau rebelle
Que nul ne peut apprivoiser
Et c'est bien en vain
qu'on l'appelle
S'il lui convient de refuser
See you got
some coffee brewing here.
Yeah, it's not...
It's been on for a bit.
I like iced coffee, generally...
but a day like today,
with the rain and whatnot...
I enjoy a warm cup.
Do you want a cup?
Is that all right?
It's raining
cats and dogs out there.
I'd just as soon
not go back in it.
I don't know how fresh
it's going to be.
I'm sure it's fine, Claudia.
Do you take cream or sugar?
That'd be fine.
So, Claudia,
let me just say...
so I can get my role
as an LAPD officer...
out of the way here
before we enjoy our coffee.
I don't like to talk shop
over coffee.
I'm not going to write you up.
I'm not going to give you
a citation here...
but the real problem is that
you got people around you...
people who work from home,
trying to get work done.
And if you're listening
to your music that loud...
they're inconvenienced by that.
If you had a job,
you'd probably understand...
but you like listening
to your music.
That's fine.
Just want to keep an eye
on the volume level.
Maybe memorize what number
you see on the dial.
If it's the middle of the day,
that's what I do.
I just set it
at two and a half...
and then I know that's
a good listening level for me.
But you like listening
to your music loud.
That's fine.
That's cool.
It's good to rock out sometimes.
But you can't do it every day...
or else you risk damaging
your ears. Seriously.
You listen to it
all the time like that?
You're going to drive
these people crazy.
Anyway, you get the point.
Cheers.
So this boyfriend bothering you?
I don't have a boyfriend.
The gentleman
who was at the door...
He's not my boyfriend.
A lot of times,
in domestic abuse situations...
the young woman
is afraid to speak out.
You don't have to be afraid
to tell me anything.
And as a police officer,
I can tell you...
it goes bad places.
Young woman's
afraid to speak out...
next thing you know,
I'm here on a .
What's a ?
It's not good.
And it's where situations
like this always lead.
It's not my boyfriend,
and it's not anything.
It's over. Really.
He won't come back.
I don't want to have
to come back here...
You won't have to!
I wouldn't mind coming back.
You know, get a look
at your pretty face again.
I'll be right back.
Here you go.
Let's get the jacket off.
It'll help you to breathe.
I can't fucking do this.
I've... I...
I think I'm gonna throw up.
I think.
I haven't thrown up
since I was twenty years old.
- What's the problem?
- I need to go to the bathroom.
Jesus Christ, Stanley.
You can't go now.
You have exactly one minute
before we're on the air.
Now is not the time
to go to the bathroom!
Why does this fucking
shit always happen, Stanley?
Excuse me, is there a problem?
Mind your own business!
You watch your mouth, young man!
Why don't you mind
your own business?
Oh, no, she didn't!
Wait for the commercial break,
then you can go.
Just hold it.
Don't taunt the kids.
- I'm trying to be helpful.
- Don't start trouble.
You haven't seen trouble!
Wait till next commercial break.
- What's the problem?
- Nothing.
Lily! Please!
Get away from me, you shithead!
Watch out, watch out.
Don't eat these.
Here you go.
Out of the trash!
Phil, are you there?
It's Chad.
I'm going to put you in touch
with Janet, Frank's assistant.
And she'll see what she can do,
all right?
Thank you, and good luck
to you and your mother.
Thanks, man. You, too.
Janet, are you there?
All right, Janet,
you have Phil Parma.
I have cancer, Mary.
I have about two months.
I have no time.
It's in my bones.
I don't have a chance.
I'm fucked.
And fifteen seconds.
Ten seconds.
And five, four, three, two...
We're back,
ready for Round Two!
And we're talking to our
adult contestants here today.
Mim, it says here that you live
in Chatsworth, California...
and that you have two kids.
That's right.
I have a six-year-old...
Do you know who I am?
You're a friend of the family,
I presume.
What does that mean?
Nothing special.
Just a spoke in the wheel.
You talk in rhymes
and riddles and Rub-a-Dub.
But that doesn't mean
anything to me.
See, I used to be smart.
I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith.
I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
from TV.
It might have been
before my time.
I remember.
In the Sixties, right?
- I'm Quiz Kid Donnie Smith.
- Like you said.
Smart kid!
You got struck
by lightning once.
So what?
- I heard about that.
- Did it hurt?
But you're all right now.
So what's the what?
- What?
- That's right.
I used to be smart.
Now I'm just stupid.
Brad, dear,
who was it that said...
"A man of genius has seldom
been ruined but by himself"?
It was
the lovely Samuel Johnson.
Who also spoke of a fellow
"who was not only dull...
"but a cause of dullness
in others."
"The cause of dullness
in others."
Picky, picky!
Let me tell you this.
Samuel Johnson never
had his life shit on...
and taken from him
and his money stolen!
Who took his life and his money?
His parents?
His mommy and daddy?
Make him live this life
like this...
A man of genius who gets
shit on as a child...
and that scars! That hurts!
Have you ever been
hit by lightning?
It hurts.
It doesn't happen to everyone.
It's an electrical charge.
It finds its way
across the universe...
and it lands in your body
and your head!
And as for ruined
but by himself...
not if his parents
took his freaking life...
and his money
and tell you to do this...
and to do that,
and if you don't...
Your parents took your money
you won on that game show?
Yes! They did.
What does that mean,
a spoke in the wheel?
Things go round and round,
don't they?
Yes, they do. They do.
But I'll make my dreams
come true.
Sounds sad as a weeping willow.
I used to be smart.
But now I'm just stupid.
Shall we drink to that?
I want to talk a little bit more
about your background.
You made
some references earlier...
to subjective human experiences
and terrible things...
Actually,
I'm confused about your past.
Is that still lingering?
It's so boring.
Just want to clear
some things up.
Excuse me.
Thank you, Muff.
It's a funny thing that...
This is an important element
of "Seduce and Destroy..."
facing the past is an important
way of not making progress.
This is something I tell my men
over and over and over.
This isn't meant...
I try to teach
my students to ask...
"What is it in aid of?"
Are you asking me that?
Well, in trying to
figure out who you are...
In aid of what?
Frank, I'm saying that
in trying to figure out...
I have more important things
to put myself into.
I think this is
something important...
you might need to think about
putting yourself into.
Not really.
It's not like I'm trying
to attack you here.
This is how you want to spend
your time, go, go, go.
But you'll be surprised
at what a waste it is.
The most useless thing
in the world...
is that which is behind me.
Chapter Three.
We talked earlier
about your mother...
and about
your father and his death.
I don't want to be challenging,
but I have to ask.
I just want to clarify
something that I understand...
I'm not sure
I hear a question in here.
I'm trying to put this
as delicately as I can.
What's the question?
Do you remember Miss Simms?
I know a lot of women.
I'm sure she remembers me.
From when you were a boy.
She lived in Tarzana.
That's my old stomping ground.
Is this the attack portion
of the interview?
Is the girl coming in
for the kill?
No. This is about
getting something right...
and clarifying your answers
to an earlier question.
What question?
I was told that
your mother died, Frank.
That's what you heard.
Do you remember Miss Simms?
I talked to Miss Simms,
your neighbour and caretaker...
after your mother died in .
And in my research...
I have you as the only son
of Earl and Lily Partridge.
And what I learned
from Barbara Simms...
is that your mother, Lily,
died in .
So, it's my understanding
that information supplied...
by you and your company
and the answers...
to the questions I've asked
is incorrect, Frank.
And if I want to get
to the bottom...
of who you are
and why you are...
then I think that
your family history...
your actual family history...
Well, this is important.
What is your fucking question?
Well, I guess
my question's this...
Why would you lie, Frank?
Kids... adults...
I would like you
to put yourself at a picnic.
Place yourself there with
your family and friends...
if you'd like.
You'll hear three musical notes,
and you are to tell me...
what it might represent
that you would find at a picnic.
The first three notes.
Guys.
Yes, Todd.
Well, Jimmy, I know this.
I have perfect pitch,
and that would be A-D-E...
and that would represent
lemonade.
For .
Next notes, please.
Got it. That's E-G-G,
which would be egg.
For . And the third
set of notes. Guys?
You don't want any water?
No. I just...
I'm so fucked up
right now, Alan.
There's just so much,
so many things.
Are you on drugs right now?
If I tell you something,
you're a lawyer, right?
You can't say anything,
tell anybody.
It's like a privilege.
Attorney/Client.
- You understand?
- Not exactly.
Like a shrink.
If I go see a shrink,
I'm protected.
I can say things... Fuck!
I don't know what I'm doing.
Linda, you're safe.
It's all right.
You're my friend.
You and Earl are clients.
Whatever you want to say
won't leave this room.
You have something
you want to say to me?
I have to tell you something.
I have something to tell you.
I want to change his will.
Can I change his will?
I need to.
No, you can't change his will.
Only Earl can.
No, you see, I never loved him.
I never loved him. Earl.
When I met him, I fucked him,
and I married him...
because I wanted his money.
You understand?
I'm telling you this...
I've never told anyone,
I didn't love him...
but now,
I know I'm in that will.
We made that fucking thing,
and all the money I'll get.
I don't want it,
because I love him so much now.
I've fallen in love with him now
for real as he's dying.
I look at him,
and he's about to go, Alan.
He's moments...
I took care of him through this.
What now, then?
Let's listen.
Hello, Mary.
How are you and the seven kids?
As you probably heard by now...
we sure gave that Pope
a run for his money.
That would be Robert E. Lee.
His wife was Mary Parke Custis.
I know he had seven children.
And he would be
talking about Pope...
who he defeated
at the Battle of Manassas.
Absolutely right, Miss Mim.
Next question.
Come on.
Snap out of it, man.
Come on, Stanley.
Bonjour, Josephine.
Maintenant
je suis en Egypte.
Yes, Mim.
That would be Napoleon
speaking to Josephine.
Absolutely right, for .
Next voice.
I don't want him to die.
I didn't love him when we met...
and I did so many bad things
to him that he doesn't know.
Things that
I want to confess to him...
But now I do. I love him.
Linda, what kind of
medication are you on?
This isn't any fucking
medication talking!
Can you give me nothing?
You have power of attorney.
Can you go in the final moments
and change the will?
I don't want any money.
I couldn't live with myself
with this thing that I've done.
I fucked around.
I fucking cheated on him.
There.
You're his lawyer, our lawyer.
I am his wife. I broke
the contract of marriage.
I fucked around on him
many times.
I sucked other men's cocks.
Adultery is not
against the law.
You can't use it in court
to discredit the will.
- Linda, calm down.
- I can't.
You don't have
to change the will.
If you want nothing, renounce
the will when the time comes.
What does that mean?
Where does the money go?
It goes to the nearest relative.
What's that?
That's Frank?
No. That can't happen.
Earl doesn't want him
to have anything.
That's what will happen.
This is so fucked up
I can hardly stand it.
Linda, stop!
Now, you take a moment,
you breathe...
and one thing at a time.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Want me to help you?
- Shut the fuck up!
- You need to sober up.
Now, you must really
shut the fuck up.
Please, shut the fuck up.
I have to go.
- Let me call you a car.
- Shut the fuck up!
Now, imagine that you
are attending a jam session...
of classical composers...
and they have each done
an arrangement...
of the classic favourite
"Whispering."
Now, we have here
the New World Harmonica Trio...
who are going to play...
three variations on the theme...
as three classical composers
might have written it.
So you are to name
the first composer.
Guys.
Yes, Todd.
That sounded like Brahms.
A bit like his
"Hungarian Dance Number Six."
That is excellent, Todd.
Next composer, guys.
Stanley the man.
I don't know the answer.
That is not right.
That's not right, Stanley.
The correct answer is Ravel.
Ravel.
And now I'm gonna
have our three whistlers...
please to present
the next musical...
There were three
musical sections here...
and this'll be the third section
that the whistlers...
and they'll
play a piece that's...
It's very recognizable.
Chopin, actually.
And it's in the style
of "Marche Militaire."
It's a very recognizable piece.
So if you please
just listen to this...
and I'm sure
you can identify the...
I'm sort of giving away
the answer here.
It's Chopin. I don't mean
to give away the answer.
It's just... please just...
Well, sing us a ditty, guys.
A Chopin ditty.
Let's have a Chopin ditty here.
I can't...
Go to the fucking card.
Go to the card. Go.
Go to the card.
I'm back.
For not afresh cup,
this is a good cup of coffee.
Thank you.
What do you want to talk about?
I don't know.
Do you want to talk?
What's your name?
Jim Kurring.
- Call .
- I think I had a stroke.
No, no, no.
I'm fine. I'm all right.
I just want
to finish the show.
No, we need
to call an ambulance.
Get your fucking hands
off me!
Let this guy help you.
I'll tell you what happened.
Call .
Do it right now, Mary.
I fell down. I couldn't see
for a minute, but I'm OK.
Get your hands off me!
- Did you piss your pants?!
- Shut up!
- What's going on?
- Nothing! Go away!
Don't tell me to go away,
Stanley.
I'm the co-ordinator,
and you will answer me.
Now, what is going on?
- What's the problem?
- Nothing. I'm fine.
Why didn't you answer
those questions?
- I didn't know the answer.
- Bullshit!
You know the answer
to every goddamn question.
I knew the answers, and I'm not
half as smart as you...
so what the hell happened?
He pissed his pants.
You pissed your pants?
No, I didn't.
I'm fine.
Stand up.
- I said I'm fine.
- Stand up.
Jesus, Stanley, what the fuck
did you do that for?
I just want to keep playing.
I'm fine.
That's great.
You know that to a performer,
that's food, right?
That shows that you love him,
and I'm sure he appreciates it.
Everything's fine. Relax.
Relax, darling.
Everything's fine.
I'm OK.
All right, see?
I'm all right.
It's pretty fucking stupid,
isn't it?
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck
do they think out there?
They must be laughing
their asses off.
Tell them I got a bad knee
or some fucking thing.
This is fucking funny.
- What do you want to do?
- Just what I said.
Are we going to continue
with this game?
All right, you look at me!
You are two days away
from this record.
Nobody's ever done that.
You get through this,
I'll get you anything you want.
You just got
to get through this.
Now, hang in there, buddy.
I'm sorry I squeezed your arm.
I love you.
- Are we doing this?
- Fucking stupidity.
Why don't I put the medic on?
I need to go with him.
Don't let him do this.
He's been doing it
for thirty years.
You don't know
how sick he really is.
It's a fucking game show, Mary.
Hear that?
Does that hurt?
- What is it?
- It's in my ear.
It's TMJ.
It's what it's called.
Technically.
How about they just call it,
"Clicking Jaw"?
- Pain in the jaw, yeah.
- How about that?
Easier to remember.
Yeah. It gets...
I don't even know
if I have it, actually.
I'm sorry.
-L-
I'm currently Code Seven.
I'm sorry.
This is my job.
-L- roger.
We were just getting warmed up.
Yeah. I gotta go.
Well, if this joker
shows up again...
or you got your music
up too loud...
maybe we can have
another cup of coffee.
If you're not here for a .
No. Do not joke about that.
I seen too many of those.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
You were kidding.
It's OK.
All right.
You keep your chin up
and your music down, OK?
Yes, I will. It was nice
to meet you, Officer Jim.
- Just Jim.
- Good.
Bye-bye, Claudia.
Yeah, what is it?
Did you forget something?
No, I'm...
I was wondering...
Man, I feel like a bit
of a scumbucket doing this...
since I came here
as an officer of the law...
and the situation
and everything...
but I feel like I'd be a fool...
if I didn't do something
I really want to do...
which is to ask you for a date.
You want to go on a date
with me?
Please, yes.
- Well, is that illegal?
- Sort of.
Then I'd like to go.
What do you want to do?
I don't know.
I hadn't thought about it.
That's not true.
I have thought about it.
I've been thinking about it
since you opened the door.
Really?
I thought you were flirting
with me a little.
You want to go tonight?
I'm off tonight, yeah.
- What time?
- . .
- I don't get off until . .
- . .
Yeah. Fine.
Yeah. Bye.
Frank, I'm really not trying
to attack you here.
I think if you have something
that needs to be cleared up...
I was told that your father
is Earl Partridge.
I was told that he left
you and your mother...
and you took care of your mother
during her illness...
that you took care of her while
she struggled with cancer...
and that Miss Simms
became your caretaker...
when your mother
finally passed away.
Can you talk about
your mother, Frank?
No, no, not true.
And you know what?
Even if you don't
get to pump her...
you still need to practice
your skills on a feminist.
I will.
You need to do that.
This is Doc.
Doc, it's Janet.
I have to talk to Frank.
He's in the interview, Janet.
Interrupt him.
Get him on the phone
with me right away.
What happened?
Doc, go get Frank
and put him on the phone.
Come on, Frank.
What are you doing?
What am I doing?
I'm quietly judging you.
And five, four, three, two...
Oh, boy, what a day.
What a round.
Back and in for me and...
and the final
one-on-one round...
to determine who's who today.
Let's check the scores
on the board, shall we?
Well, the kids
have an even ...
and the adults
are way up with forty-seven.
Now, that doesn't mean
that this game...
is out of reach for the kids.
Elders,
who's the lucky so-and-so?
It's me, Jimmy.
Come on over, Mim.
I don't want to go.
I can't do it this time.
What the fuck are you
talking about?
You have to go, Stanley.
You're the smartest.
I don't want to go.
Why can't one of you do it?
If you don't fucking stand up
and get over there...
I'll beat your ass.
I'm sick of being the one,
always has to do everything.
I don't want
to be the one always.
Kids, I don't even have to ask.
Stanley,
get your butt over here.
I'm sick.
I'm sick here now.
I confuse melancholy
with depression sometimes.
You see?
Why don't you run along now,
friend?
Your dessert is getting cold.
- I'm sick.
- Stay that way.
I'm sick, and I'm in love.
You seem the sort of person
who confuses the two.
That's right!
That's the first time
you've been right.
I confuse the two,
and I don't care!
I love you.
I love you, and I'm sick.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
I'm getting corrective
oral surgery tomorrow...
for my teeth.
I love you, Brad.
Brad the bartender.
If you want to love me back,
I'll be good to you.
I'll be goddamn good for you.
I won't be mad if you
don't know who said what.
I won't punish you
if you get the answer wrong.
I can teach and tell you...
You have a special secret crush
over there, I think.
Don't treat him too lovely.
He might get hurt.
You shut up!
Mind your own business.
Gently, son!
Brad,
I know you don't love me now.
It's a dangerous thing
to confuse children with angels.
Want to know the common element
for the entire group?
I'll tell you the answer,
because I had that one.
I had that question.
Carbon. Carbon.
In pencil lead,
it's in the form of graphite.
In coal, it's mixed up
with other impurities.
And in the diamond,
it's in hard form.
All we really wanted to know
was the common element...
but thank you for all
that unnecessary knowledge.
Kids. Heads so full
of useless knowledge.
Thank you. Thank you.
And the book says, "We may be
through with the past...
"but the past is not
through with us!"
And...
no, it is not dangerous
to confuse children with angels.
Well, that is what I wait for.
I wait for those calls.
And I wait and I pray.
And sometimes Jesus says...
"Jim, I got a surprise
for you today.
"I want you to meet
this young lady, OK?
"Now, where it goes
from there is up to you.
"And I don't think
you're going to screw it up."
And, God,
I'm telling you right now...
I will not screw it up.
You gave me an opportunity.
I'm going to treat
this young lady right.
I'm a happy cop.
It's called jaywalking.
Slow down.
I'm going to pass, Jimmy.
Stanley, passing
to one of the other kids.
We want Stanley to go, Jimmy.
I don't want to go.
I'm walking towards
the elevator, Janet.
Fine. Phil,
are you still there?
Yeah, I'm here.
I want to ask you one question.
Phil, have you talked
to anyone else about this?
No, I haven't.
Good, let's keep it that way.
All the security and whatnot.
You understand?
This is a delicate situation
for Frank and the family.
What's going on, Janet?
Doc, fuck off.
Phil, hang in
just one more minute.
- I'm putting you on hold.
- Thank you.
How close are you, Doc?
Richard? Julia?
Kids, what's going on?
I need a player here
for one-on-one.
We want Stanley to go, Jimmy,
and we're not sure why he won't.
I always answer the questions...
and I don't want
to do it anymore.
What the fuck is he doing?
What's wrong with him?
I have no idea.
I'm getting off of the elevator,
Janet.
Good. Good boy.
I'm walking down the hall.
This kid ain't getting up,
we don't have a show.
Live television,
ladies and germs.
Little prick.
What's this, a point?
A game?
What the hell's he doing?
Get the fuck up, kid, come on.
Time's up.
So that's what you did?
You sat it out?
You wanted my time.
I gave it to you.
You called me a liar.
You made accusations.
You said,
"Well, if I had known...
"then I wouldn't have asked."
So it's not an attack.
I don't want to be the sort
who doesn't keep his word.
So I gave you
my fucking time, bitch.
Now, fuck...
It's fucking Janet.
There's a situation
on the phone.
The indecision of a child,
ladies and germs.
This isn't funny.
This isn't cute.
See, the way we're looked at?
Because I'm not a toy.
I'm not a doll.
The way we're looked at
because you think we're cute?
Because... What?
I'm made to feel like a freak...
if I answer questions...
or I'm smart...
or I have to go to the bathroom?
What is that, Jimmy?
What is that?
I'm asking you that.
I'm not sure, Stanley.
-L- I need help.
We have shots fired.
It's Hamlet to Claudius.
"The sins of the father
laid upon the children..."
is "Merchant of Venice."
But borrowed from "Exodus" .
I'm sorry, Frank.
I didn't know what else
you wanted me to do.
I asked him
all the right questions.
He's his nurse.
He's sitting there with him.
I heard your father's voice
in the background.
Wait.
He's there at their house?
They're at the house.
I asked him the exact address,
and he gave it.
I know this is really hard
for you right now.
If you're gonna give me things,
give me the information.
I want the information.
That's what I want.
What did he say?
Because I am not
taking care of him.
What does he want?
Frank, what the fuck
do you want me to do?
What I want you to do, Janet...
is I want you to do
your fucking job!
I am doing my fucking job!
You fucking get on the phone.
I'm not a doll!
I'm not silly and cute!
I'm smart, so that
should make me something...
something so people can watch
how silly it is he's smart!
I know. I know things.
I know... I know...
I know I have to go
to the bathroom and I asked...
Take us off the air.
Go to the credits.
Roll the credits.
God fucking damn it!
Son of a bitch!
What the fuck?!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Stanley, don't do this to me!
I got to find that gun.
Where is it, now?
Where is it?
All right, let's go.
Where is it? Find it.
Find it!
Find the gun, Jim!
What the fuck more
do you want me to say?
You need to make a decision.
Look, just give me a second.
Give me a second.
What the fuck, Frank?
What do you want me to do?
- What are you doing?
- I got Frank, Earl's son.
- Hang up the phone.
- No, he asked me...
Put the fucking phone down!
- Hang it up!
- I can't!
Frank, are you there?
I want you to talk to him.
I'm going put him on.
Hang it up!
You don't do that!
You don't call him.
You don't know.
To get involved in this business
of his... my family.
This is the family.
Me and him. Understand?
There's no one else.
No one else!
That man... that beautiful man...
his son does not exist.
He's dead.
Who asked you to do that?
- Earl did.
- Bullshit!
Bullshit!
He didn't ask you!
He doesn't want to talk to him!
So fuck you that he asked that!
There's no one but me and him!
No one!
He asked me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Mary, take me out of here.
I got to go home to Rose.
Mary, take him home.
- In the back.
- Did we win or lose?
I don't know, Richard.
You lost. They go to the score
the time they called it.
That's not an official rule,
Luis.
That's an official rule, baby.
That's bullshit,
and you know it!
Who says that?
In what rule book?
This is different!
It's a game show!
They don't go by
fucking sports rules!
Richard, shut it and cut it out.
If he hadn't
pissed his pants...
we would have won
this little motherfucker!
We had it!
What'd you do with
my goddamn kid, Burt?
Get your fucking hands off me,
you boy producer punk.
Oh, Lord,
why is this happening to me?
God, please help me
figure it out.
I'm lost out here.
I don't understand
why it's happening, God.
Please, God.
Whatever it is I did,
I'll fix it.
I'll do the right thing.
Please, God,
help me find the gun.
Listen, Phil.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I slapped your face.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know how to do this.
I do things, and I fuck up.
I fucked up.
Can you forgive me?
It's all right.
Can you tell him I'm sorry...
for the things I've done,
that I fucked up?
I'm sorry.
I'm going to turn away
and walk away...
and not look at him,
and not see my man, my Earl.
And tell him...
"It's OK. I'm OK."
Tell him,
"Thank you for taking care..."
The whole thing's OK with me.
And I know.
Welcome back from the break!
How'd you guys
like those nachos?
You are not here
for the fucking food.
You are here for me
to enlighten you, edify you...
to send you off into the now
not-so-unknown future.
So come along with me.
"How to fake like you
are nice and caring."
No, I don't want a microphone.
Now, this...
this is quite
an important chapter...
as you will see.
But let's get down
to brass tacks.
Let's get right down to it,
boys.
Men are shit.
What? Men are shit.
Isn't that what they say?
Because we do bad things,
don't we?
We do horrible, heinous,
terrible things.
Things that no woman
would ever do.
No, women, they don't lie.
No, women don't cheat.
Women don't manipulate us.
But you see what I'm getting at.
You see what society does?
Little boys, it's, "Wow, woman!"
We are taught to apologize.
"I am sorry.
"I am so sorry, baby.
I am so sorry."
What is it that...
What is it that we need?
Is it their pussies?
Their love?
Mommy wouldn't
let me play soccer...
and Daddy, he hit me,
so that's who I am.
That's why I do what I do?
Fucking bullshit.
I will not apologize
for who I am.
I will not apologize
for what I need.
I will not apologize
for what I want!
Go to your blue booklets now.
I want you to turn to page
in your blue booklets.
This is fucking bullshit!
I want you to go
to your white books.
That's what I want you to go to.
Go to twenty-three
in your white books.
"How to fake like you are
a nice and caring person."
Hey, come here.
I'm...
I'm gonna try talk.
You know, I'm trying to...
to say something-something.
Do you know Lily, Phil?
Do you know her?
No, I don't.
She's my love, my life,
love of it.
In school...
I'm twelve years old in school,
in sixth grade.
I saw her.
I didn't go to that school,
but...
but we met.
My friend knew her.
I said...
"What's that girl?
How's that Lily?"
"Oh, she's bad.
She sleeps with guys."
Yeah, he said this,
but then sometimes...
I went to another school,
you see.
But then...
When high school at an end,
what's that?
What is that when
it gets to the end?
Graduation.
No, no, the grade.
What grade are you in?
That's twelfth.
So I went to her school
for that grade.
Grade... that's grade twelve.
And we meet.
She was...
fucking like a doll.
A beautiful porcelain doll.
And the hips...
The child-bearing hips,
you know that?
I know.
So beautiful.
And I cheated on her...
over and over and over again.
Because I wanted to be a man.
And I didn't want her
to be a woman.
A smart, free person
who was something.
My fucking mind then.
So stupid, that fucking mind.
Stupid.
Jesus Christ!
What would I think?
Did I think for what I'd done?
She was my wife
for twenty-three years...
and I went behind her
over and over.
Fucking asshole that I am.
I'd go out and I'd fuck...
and I'd come home
and get in her bed...
and say, "I love you."
This is Jack's mother.
His mother, Lily.
These two...
that I had...
and I lost.
This is the regret
that you make.
This is the...
regret that you make
and the something you take...
and the blah, blah, blah...
something, something.
Gimme a cigarette.
Mistakes like this...
you don't make.
Sometimes...
you make some and OK.
Not OK, sometimes,
you make other ones.
Know that you should do better.
I loved Lily.
I cheated on her.
She was my wife
for twenty-three years.
And I have a son.
And she has cancer.
And I'm not there...
and he's forced
to take care of her.
He's fourteen years old.
To...
To take care of his mother
and...
and watch her die on him.
A little kid, and I'm not there.
And she does die.
I loved her so.
And she knew what I did.
She knew all the fucking
stupid things I'd done.
But the love...
was stronger than anything
you can think of.
The goddamn regret.
And I'll die.
Now I'll die,
and I'll tell you what...
the biggest regret of my life...
I let my love go.
What did I do?
I'm sixty-five years old.
And I'm ashamed.
Million years ago...
The fucking regret and guilt,
these things...
Don't ever let anyone
ever say to you...
you shouldn't regret anything.
Don't do that.
You regret
what you fucking want.
Use that. Use that.
Use that regret for anything,
any way you want.
You can use it, OK?
Oh, God.
This is a long way to go
with no punch.
A little moral...
Story, I say.
Love.
This fucking life...
it's so fucking hard.
So long.
Life ain't short.
It's long.
It's long, God damn it.
God damn.
What did I do?
Phil. Phil, help me.
What did I do?
Juan, how you doing?
How you feeling?
I think I'm going to stay on,
stick it out.
Are you sure?
All right, good night.
You're so stupid.
Is love
What you thought
When you first
Began, yeah
You got
What you want
You can hardly stand it, though
By now you know it's not
Going to stop
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
Till you wise up
You're sure
There's a cure
And you have finally found it
You think
One drink
Will shrink you till
You're underground
and living down
But it's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
Till you wise up
Prepare a list for what you need
Before you sign away the deed
'Cause it's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
Till you wise up
No, it's not going to stop
Till you wise up
No, it's not going to stop
So just give up
You know, you know, you know.
Go, go, go.
Hello, dear.
I need a favour.
All right.
Back up, Max.
Back up, Miles.
Hello. You Frank?
Jack, right?
Are you Phil?
Tried to get in touch with you.
We got disconnected.
Stay in, Max!
Hey, come on! Please!
- I got the message.
- I couldn't find you.
Earl asked me, so I looked
through the address books.
There's no number.
There's nothing.
Is what's-her-name...
Linda? No, she went out.
She's not here.
Hey, I'm sorry.
I don't know what to do here.
Your dad asked me
to get in touch with you...
and I didn't have the number.
I called the number.
Want to come in?
- Yeah. Hey, Phil?
- Yeah?
I will drop-kick those fucking
dogs if they come near me.
All right.
Come on in.
This is Blake.
- Clear them out.
- This is Miles.
Here we go.
All right, he's in here.
So we all go in here.
Want to go in?
No, I just stand here
a second, Phil.
Lady!
Hey, wake up.
What's wrong with you?
Here.
How do we do this, then?
Well, we just do it.
We do it.
We figure it out.
We do as we do, I guess.
Do you love me, Rose?
You are my handsome man.
I'm a bad person.
I mean...
I'm telling you this now...
because I want everything
to be clear and clean...
and I want to apologize for me
and the stupid things I've done.
I've cheated on you.
I've cheated on you,
and... it kills me...
and the guilt
of what I've done...
I don't want you
to think that...
Maybe you knew.
I think maybe you've known.
So I hope this is not
just for me...
for me to make myself feel
better about what I've done...
but for you not to feel
like you're sitting there...
like a jerk.
You're the good one.
You understand?
Did you ever go out
with someone and just lie...
question after question?
Maybe you're trying to
make yourself look cool...
or better than you are
or whatever...
smarter, cooler...
and you just...
not really lie...
but maybe you just don't
say everything.
That's a natural thing.
You know, two people go out
on a date or something.
They want to impress people...
the other person.
Or they're scared
they'll say something...
that will make the other person
not like them.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
So you've done it?
I don't go out very often.
Why not?
I never found someone, really,
that I'd like to go out with.
I bet you say that
to all the girls.
Want to make a deal with me?
What I just said...
people afraid to say things...
no guts to say the things
that are real or something...
to not do that.
To not do that
that maybe we've done before.
Let's make a deal.
I'll tell you everything,
and you tell me everything...
and maybe we can get through
all the piss, shit, and lies...
that kill other people.
"Piss and shit."
What?
You really use strong language.
I'm sorry.
No, it's fine.
I didn't mean... It seems vulgar
or something, I know.
- It's fine.
- I'm sorry.
It's nothing.
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna run to the bathroom
for a minute maybe, just...
I'm going to go in.
Are the dogs in there?
Yeah, but they stay
by the window.
I want you to come in with me
and stay away from me.
I want you there
in case he needs anything...
because I am not
going to help him.
And, Phil, I will drop-kick
the fucking dogs...
if they come near me.
You don't look that bad.
You prick.
"Cocksucker." That's what you
used to like to say, right?
"Cocksucker."
But you are a cocksucker, Earl.
It hurts, doesn't it?
You in a lot of pain?
She was in a lot of pain.
Right to the end,
she was in a lot of pain.
I know because I was there.
You didn't like illness,
though, do you?
I was there.
She waited for your call.
For you to come.
I am not going to cry.
I am not going to cry for you!
You cocksucker,
I know you can hear me.
I want you to know
that I hate your fucking guts.
You can just fucking die,
you fuck.
And I hope it hurts.
I fucking hope it hurts.
Her resps are down to six.
Let's get the gurney over here.
Check that ego
Come off it,
I'm a prophet
The professor
I'm gonna teach you
'bout the Worm
Who eventually turned
to catch wreck
With the neck
of a long-time oppressor
And he's runnin' from the devil
But the debt is always gainin'
And if he's worth bein' hurt
He's worth bringin' pain in
Do you feel better
now that you've said this?
I don't know.
Well, I'm not... mad.
Well, I am, but I'm... not.
You know?
I love you so much, Rose.
I'm not through
asking my questions.
Why doesn't Claudia...
talk to you, Jimmy?
Why?
Because we've...
We both don't know.
What do you mean?
No, I think you know.
Maybe...
I don't.
Say it, Jimmy.
I wanted to do that.
Well...
That felt good to do...
to do what I wanted.
Can I tell you something?
Yeah, of course.
I'm really nervous
that you're gonna hate me soon.
You're gonna find stuff out
about me and hate me.
No. Like what?
What do you mean?
You have so much,
so many good things...
and you seem so together.
You're a police officer...
straight and put together
without any problems.
- I lost my gun today.
- What?
I lost my gun today...
and I'm the laughingstock
of a lot of people.
I wanted to tell you.
I wanted you to know.
It's on my mind.
It makes me look like a fool.
And I feel like a fool.
You asked that
we should say things...
say what we're thinking
and not lie about things.
I can tell you
that I lost my gun today.
I'm not a good cop.
I'm looked down at,
and I know that...
and I'm scared that once you
find out, you won't like me.
- Jim, that was so...
- I'm sorry.
...great what you just said.
I haven't been on a date
since I was married, and...
that was three years ago.
Whatever you want to tell me...
whatever you think
might scare me won't.
I will listen to you.
I'll be a good listener
if that's what you want.
And I won't judge you.
I know I do that sometimes.
I won't.
And I can listen.
And you shouldn't be scared
of scaring me off...
or whatever you think
that I think and on and on.
Just say it, whatever it is,
and I'll listen.
You don't know how fucking
stupid and crazy I am.
It's OK.
I got troubles, OK?
I'll take everything
at face value.
I started this, didn't I?
Fuck!
Whatever it is, just say it.
You'll see.
You want to kiss me?
Yes, I do.
Say it, Jimmy.
I think she thinks...
that I may have molested her.
She thinks terrible things that
somehow got into her head...
that I may have done.
She said that to me last time
when it was...
Ten years ago
she walked out the door.
"You touched me wrong.
I know that."
Some crazy thought in her head.
Did you ever touch her?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I really don't.
But you can't say.
I don't know what I've done.
Yes, you do. You do!
But you won't say.
I don't know.
What? Please. Please.
You deserve to die alone
for what you've done!
I don't know what I've done.
Yes, you do!
If I said that I knew,
would you stay?
But I don't know what I've done.
You should know better!
Now that I've met you, would you
object to never seeing me again?
What?
Just say no.
I won't say no.
Wait, Claudia.
Just let me go, Jimmy.
What is it?
Please, please.
Why didn't you call?
I fucking hate you.
God damn you, fucking asshole.
Oh, God, you fucking asshole.
Don't go away,
you fucking asshole.
Oh, God, don't go away,
you fucking asshole.
What am I doing?
What the fuck am I doing?
Oh, fuck.
What?
What are you doing, dummy?
Oh, brother.
There are frogs
falling from the sky.
Come on! Come on!
Claudia, it's Mom!
Open the door, honey!
Claudia, are you there?
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy!
All right. All right.
It's OK.
It's all right now.
It's OK.
It's gonna be all right.
This happens.
This is something that happens.
And there is the account
of the hanging of three men...
and a scuba diver...
and a suicide.
There are stories of
coincidence and chance...
and intersections
and strange things told...
and which is which
and who only knows?
And we generally say...
"Well, if that was in a movie,
I wouldn't believe it."
Someone's so-and-so
met someone else's so-and-so...
and so on.
And it is in the humble opinion
of this narrator...
that strange things
happen all the time.
And so it goes, and so it goes.
And the book says...
"We may be through
with the past...
"but the past
ain't through with us."
I'm sorry, Jack.
It's the hospital
calling about Linda.
Who?
Linda.
She's in the hospital.
I figured you should probably
talk to them since you're here.
Is she gonna be all right?
Could you please tell me
where you're located?
Are you with us, Linda? Good.
It is, Linda, isn't it?
Just relax. That's it.
You'll get through this.
Dad.
Dad, you need to be nicer to me.
Go to bed.
You have to be nicer to me, Dad.
Go to bed.
I know I did a stupid thing.
So stupid.
Getting braces.
I thought...
I thought he would love me.
Getting... braces.
For what?
For something I don't even...
I don't know where
to put things, you know?
I really do have love to give.
I just don't know
where to put it.
A lot of people think this is
just a job that you go to.
Take a lunch hour...
job's over.
Something like that.
But it's a -hour deal.
No two ways about it.
And what most people
don't see...
is just how hard it is
to do the right thing.
People think if I make
a judgement call...
that's a judgement on them,
but that is not what I do.
And that's not
what should be done.
I have to take everything...
and play it as it lays.
Sometimes people
need a little help.
I got a buddy who's
supposed to be real good...
at corrective oral surgery.
Sometimes people
need to be forgiven.
And sometimes
they need to go to jail.
Call me about that guy
with the teeth, OK?
And that is a very
tricky thing on my part...
making that call.
I mean, the law is the law.
And heck if I'm gonna break it.
You can forgive someone.
Well, that's the tough part.
What can we forgive?
Tough part of the job.
Tough part of walking
down the street.
I just wanted to come here...
to come here
and say something...
say something important,
something that you said.
You said we should say things
and do things.
Not lie, not keep things back...
these sorts of things
that tear people up.
Well, I'm gonna do that.
I'm gonna do what you said,
Claudia.
I can't let this go.
I can't let you go.
Now, you...
You listen to me now.
You're a good person.
You're a good
and beautiful person...
and I won't let you
walk out on me.
And I won't let you
say those things...
those things about how stupid
you are and this and that.
I won't stand for that.
You want to be with me...
then you be with me.
You see?