The Mask Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, The Mask script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring Jim Carrey and Cameron Diaz.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of The Mask. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

The Mask Script


  

                   

Another one coming down.



 

                   

Hang on.



 

                   

THE MASK



 

                   

I got those...



 

                   

concert tickets you wanted.



 

                   

You're kidding!



 

                   

For Friday night?



 

                   

Stanley, this is great.



 

                   

What time do I pick you up?



  

                   

Here's the thing.



  

                   

My best girlfriend is here

and she'd die to go to this...



  

                   

so could we get an extra ticket

for her?



  

                   

They're sold out. That means

there's no more.



  

                   

I can't let her sit home all alone.



  

                   

I'll tell you what.



  

                   

Go with your friend.



  

                   

I couldn't do that.



  

                   

No, come on.



  

                   

Stanley, you are the nicest guy.



  

                   

Really, you are.



  

                   

- Isn't he the nicest guy?

- The best.



  

                   

That was the most sickening display



  

                   

- I've ever seen.

- I disagree.



  

                   

I'm wearing her down.



  

                   

Buddy, you need a little

change of pace.



  

                   

Tonight, I'll take you

on a love safari.



  

                   

Deep into the darkest heart

of the urban jungle.



  

                   

Tell me more, bwana.



  

                   

The Coco Bongo Club.

Hottest new joint in town.



  

                   

Only the cr me de la cr me

need apply.



  

                   

- How do we get in?

- Are you kidding?



  

                   

Leave it to me.

Trust me, buddy.



  

                   

This will be the perfect...



  

                   

night on the town.



  

                   

Hold the phone.



  

                   

Killer at three o'clock.



  

                   

Stand back and observe.



  

                   

Where do I open an account?



  

                   

New accounts,right here.



  

                   

You're lucky, I was on my way out--



  

                   

Hold this for me, please?



  

                   

I'll hold anything you want.



  

                   

Can you help me?



  

                   

So...



  

                   

what kind of account do you want?



  

                   

Well, I'm not sure exactly. I'm

just terrible with things like that.



  

                   

That's an interesting tie, Mister...



  

                   

Ipkiss, Stanley lpkiss.



  

                   

Tina Carlyle, it's a pleasure.



  

                   

Pleasure's all mine.



  

                   

May l?



  

                   

What?



  

                   

I'm such a mess.



  

                   

Oh, of course.



  

                   

That's what they're there for.



  

                   

As I was saying, that tie...



  

                   

reminds me of those,

what do you call it, ink blot tests.



  

                   

- A Rorschach test.

- Right.



  

                   

It sort of looks like...



  

                   

a young woman riding bareback.



  

                   

Sort of...



  

                   

Lady Godiva or something.



  

                   

Of course.



  

                   

What do you see, Mr. Ipkiss?



  

                   

I don't know.



  

                   

Bright colors...



  

                   

It's a power tie.



  

                   

Supposed to make you feel...



  

                   

powerful.



  

                   

Does it work?



  

                   

Now, how about that account?



  

                   

We have...



  

                   

several different plans.



  

                   

Savings.



  

                   

Checking.



  

                   

Savings and checking.



  

                   

Savings and CD's.



  

                   

Checking and CD's.



  

                   

Savings, checking and CD's.

T-Bills.



  

                   

Or we can throw your money

in a big mattress.



  

                   

Now, I have some forms

for you to fill out.



  

                   

That's it, sweetheart.

Now just a little bit to the right.



  

                   

Keep it down back there.



  

                   

We'll try.



  

                   

- What do you think?

- Layout's not bad. But...



  

                   

the motion detectors are a pain.



  

                   

But you can pull this off, right?



  

                   

You talking to the Doctor.



  

                   

I do have one question.



  

                   

Which is?



  

                   

What's Niko have to say about this?



  

                   

Nothing.



  

                   

- This isn't his grift.

- Get real, man.



  

                   

Everything is his grift.



  

                   

He owns you, he owns this club,

he owns this whole stinking town.



  

                   

Things change.



  

                   

You mess with Niko, you end up

taking a dirt nap.



  

                   

He's the only one who's napping...



  

                   

and I'm about to give him

a serious wake-up call.



   

                   

But we need cash...



   

                   

so first we take the bank...



   

                   

then we take Niko...



   

                   

and then, my friend,

school is out.



   

                   

And this whole city is our playground.



   

                   

Bub, watch where you're going!



   

                   

Hang on, hang on!



   

                   

Don't get your panties in a twist.



   

                   

What the hell is it?



   

                   

I don't know...



   

                   

about seven hundred bucks, eh?



   

                   

Now, what can I do for you, bub?



   

                   

I'm here for the Civic.



   

                   

The brake drums are shot

and you need a new transmission.



   

                   

What?!



   

                   

All I wanted was an oil change.



   

                   

Lucky we caught these problems

before they caused serious trouble.



   

                   

Sign right here, and press down hard.



   

                   

- There's no price.

- There will be.



   

                   

I've no car.

I need a car tonight.



   

                   

Bring around the loaner.



   

                   

The loaner?



   

                   

The loaner?



   

                   

It's a classic.



   

                   

Gals, meet my buddy Stanley lpkiss.



   

                   

Humungo in the banking business.



   

                   

- Not really.

- Let's get in this joint.



   

                   

How you doing, buddy?



   

                   

- It's Charlie!

- How you doing?



   

                   

- How you doing, my friend?

- Long time no see.



   

                   

Good to see you.



   

                   

Come on, gals.



   

                   

See you on the inside.



   

                   

This is a mistake.



   

                   

You crossed the rope.

Never cross the rope.



   

                   

- My friends are inside.

- Lose him.



   

                   

This isn't fair.



   

                   

Watch it, I'm a bleeder.



   

                   

Put me down now, or I am

never coming back here.



   

                   

Jeez.



   

                   

Mr. Ipkiss!



   

                   

Hi.



   

                   

Are you okay?



   

                   

Me?



   

                   

I'm great..



   

                   

Really good.



   

                   

I never felt better, really.



   

                   

I'm just...



   

                   

catching some air.



   

                   

Your car, sir.



   

                   

That's not my car.



   

                   

It matches the ticket.



   

                   

Alright...



   

                   

I'll take it.



   

                   

But I am very angry!



   

                   

Believe this?



   

                   

You drive in in a Porsche...



   

                   

Hey, Mister!



   

                   

Hold on!



   

                   

I know CPR!



   

                   

Hey, you!



   

                   

What are you doing down there?



   

                   

I'm just looking for...



   

                   

my mask!



   

                   

I got it.



   

                   

Do you have any idea what time it is?



   

                   

Actually, no.



   

                   

My new carpet!



   

                   

Well ,this is coming right out

of your security deposit.



   

                   

You know...



   

                   

What?



   

                   

Nothing.



   

                   

Well, that's what you are, lpkiss,

a big nothing.



   

                   

Aren't you due at the lab

to get your bolts tightened?



   

                   

I should have said that.



   

                   

Hey, you.



   

                   

Milo!



   

                   

No jumping up allowed.

It's against doggie ordinance.



   

                   

What do you want?



   

                   

You want me to throw that?



   

                   

I'm very tired.



   

                   

I'll throw it one time.



   

                   

I won't throw it with you

attached to it.



   

                   

You ready?



   

                   

Get it.



   

                   

Ipkiss!



   

                   

Turn down those cartoons!



   

                   

Alright, Mrs. Peenman!



   

                   

Dr. Neuman, you say that everybody

wears a mask?



   

                   

That's correct.



   

                   

We all wear masks,

metaphorically speaking.



   

                   

We suppress the id,

our darkest desires...



   

                   

and adopt a more socially

acceptable image.



   

                   

The book is "The Masks We Wear"

by Dr. Arthur Neuman.



   

                   

Thank you for being here.



   

                   

What's the matter with you?



   

                   

What is it?



   

                   

What are you looking for?



   

                   

You like this thing? You like it?



   

                   

"The Masks We Wear".



   

                   

"That's correct.



   

                   

We all wear masks,

metaphorically speaking".



   

                   

Yeah, right.



   

                   

Smoking!



   

                   

It's party time.



   

                   

P-A-R-T-Y



   

                   

Why? Because I gotta.



   

                   

MANAGER



   

                   

QUIET PLEASE



   

                   

Snooze!



   

                   

Look, ma, I'm road kill!



   

                   

- Get out of the road!

- I think he wants to communicate.



   

                   

squeeze me gently



   

                   

Hey, mister...



   

                   

you got the time?



   

                   

As a matter of fact, I do, Cubbie!



   

                   

Look at that!



   

                   

Time to honk your nose and pull

your underwear over your head.



   

                   

Come on!



   

                   

Step right up here, don't be shy!



   

                   

Nobody likes...



   

                   

a bashful leather head.



   

                   

Move it!



   

                   

For my first trick...



   

                   

I'll do something for you, son.



   

                   

We have a giraffe. There you go, son.

Now get out of here, you bother me.



   

                   

Now...



   

                   

Sorry, wrong pocket.



   

                   

For you...



   

                   

a little body English.



   

                   

A French poodle.



   

                   

The dog was rabid, had to put it down.



   

                   

At last but not least, my favorite.



   

                   

A Tommy gun.



   

                   

This is incredible.



   

                   

With these powers I could be...



   

                   

a superhero.



   

                   

I'd fight crime,

protect the innocent...



   

                   

work for world peace.



   

                   

But first...



   

                   

RIPLEY'S AUTO FINISHING



   

                   

Hold onto your lug nuts...



   

                   

it's time for an overhaul.



   

                   

It was a dream.



   

                   

It was a dream.



   

                   

I must lay off the cartoons.



   

                   

Lt. Kellaway. You know anything

about the disturbance last night?



   

                   

Disturbance?



   

                   

Some prowler broke in

and attacked Mrs. Peenman.



   

                   

Attacked?



   

                   

You didn't hear anything?



   

                   

She unloaded a couple of rounds

of buckshot   feet from here.



   

                   

Look at the floor.



   

                   

He put that right in my floor,

then he jumped out...



   

                   

the window. Officer,

are you writing notes?



   

                   

This is...



   

                   

impossible.



   

                   

Those pyjamas are impossible.

This happened.



   

                   

See, I have...



   

                   

an inner ear problem.



   

                   

- Sometimes I can't hear anything.

- Is that so?



   

                   

Here's my card. If you recall

anything unusual about last night...



   

                   

anything at all, call me.



   

                   

You bet. Thank you.



   

                   

And good luck...



   

                   

cracking the case.



   

                   

Oh, my God, I'm late!



   

                   

Keys, keys...



   

                   

Where's the keys?



   

                   

Damn.



   

                   

Get the keys.



   

                   

Find them.



   

                   

Get the keys.



   

                   

I am so late.



   

                   

Good boy.



   

                   

Come on, Milo. Give them to me.

Drop it.



   

                   

I want a proctologist standing by.



   

                   

The best one you can find.



   

                   

Can you tell me what happened?



   

                   

- No, you can quote me.

- Looks like some Mob tactic.



   

                   

She broke the case. Come on,

get these rubbernecks out of here.



   

                   

Where were you last night?

We looked all over for you.



   

                   

Did you happen to look outside,

in the gutter?



   

                   

Did you check the paper?



   

                   

Your girlfriend got a great review.



   

                   

Bombshell Explodes at Coco Bongo



   

                   

You're    minutes late.

That's like stealing.



   

                   

I'm sorry, Mr. Dickey. It'll never

happen again. I've been a jerk.



   

                   

If you weren't busy oogling

girlie pictures...



   

                   

you might get some work done.



   

                   

Sir. She's a perspective

client of Stanley's.



   

                   

Really?



   

                   

The next time she comes in...



   

                   

send her to my office.



   

                   

You bet.



   

                   

Gee, I wish "my" daddy

owned a bank.



   

                   

Then I could be a rich

little creep too.



   

                   

You think she'll ever come back?



   

                   

Oh, man, forget her. Listen to me.



   

                   

Girls like her always look for

the BBD: Bigger Better Deal.



   

                   

You don't know that.



   

                   

She's an artist. She's...



   

                   

- sensitive.

- Forget her.



   

                   

She'll rip out your heart,

put it in a blender and hit "frappe".



   

                   

You don't need her.

You need somebody down to earth.



   

                   

Somebody with some integrity.

Somebody with...



   

                   

red hair...



   

                   

full, pouting lips...



   

                   

a white blouse, green jacket...



   

                   

and a name tag.



   

                   

You really narrowed it down.



   

                   

Too bad she's already taken.



   

                   

Hello there, may I be of assistance?



   

                   

Stanley lpkiss?



   

                   

Hi! I'm Peggy Brandt

from the Tribune.



   

                   

I canceled my subscription because

they kept stealing--



   

                   

No, actually, I want to ask you

a few questions.



   

                   

Really? About what?



   

                   

Ripley Auto Finishing.

You're a customer, aren't you?



   

                   

Me?



   

                   

I don't even have a car.



   

                   

You know, 'cause they pollute.



   

                   

You don't own an '   Civic?



   

                   

Oh, that car, yeah.



   

                   

It's coming back to me.



   

                   

Miss... What was your name?



   

                   

Peggy Brandt.



   

                   

Wait a minute.



   

                   

Peggy Brandt?



   

                   

Of "Ask Peggy"?



   

                   

That's right.



   

                   

You printed one of my letters

last year.



   

                   

Remember? "Nice Guys Finish Last."



   

                   

You're Mister Nice Guy?



   

                   

Do you realize how much mail

we got about that letter?



   

                   

   's of women are looking

for a guy like you.



   

                   

Really?



   

                   

You know how hard it is to find

a decent man in this town?



   

                   

Most think monogamy is a kind of wood.



   

                   

Why are you covering this story?



   

                   

Because "Dear Peggy" pays dick.

I'm starving to death.



   

                   

I'm looking to become a real reporter.



   

                   

When you were at Ripley Auto

did you see anything suspicious?



   

                   

Anything?



   

                   

I won't make trouble for you.



   

                   

I just want the truth.



   

                   

God, I wish I knew the truth.

You know, I really do.



   

                   

If you think of anything...



   

                   

this is my number.



   

                   

This is my...



   

                   

you know, personal number.



   

                   

   's of women are looking

for a guy like me?



   

                   

Sure.



   

                   

I'm one of them.



   

                   

    yards.



   

                   

Hello, Dorian.



   

                   

Thanks for dropping by.



   

                   

Next time, call.

Leave the delivery boys at home.



   

                   

The cops...



   

                   

tried to shut the club

down this morning.



   

                   

They say you've been using the place

to run your own small-time scams.



   

                   

When I hear things like that...



   

                   

I start losing my concentration.



   

                   

My game...



   

                   

it goes straight to hell.



   

                   

You could too.



   

                   

    yards.



   

                   

I'm fed up with you...



   

                   

but....



   

                   

I'll cut you a break.



   

                   

One week to get out of town.



   

                   

After that...



   

                   

I'll use your empty little skull

to break in my new nine iron.



   

                   

Are you okay?



   

                   

Your car, sir.



   

                   

I am now.



   

                   

Tina, come on.



   

                   

You can't.



   

                   

You can't.



   

                   

Go on.



   

                   

I don't believe it.



   

                   

Stupid.



   

                   

She would never...



   

                   

No way!



   

                   

Hold on, Sugar.



   

                   

Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight.



   

                   

Somebody,stop me.



   

                   

Can't make the scene

if you don't have the green.



   

                   

I better make a little stop.



   

                   

EDGE CITY POWER

"SERVICE WORTH WAITING FOR"



   

                   

How's it going, Freeze?



   

                   

It's looking good here.



   

                   

You're on your own. I must

go downstairs, make sure I'm seen.



   

                   

Do it.



   

                   

The doctor is about to operate.



   

                   

Sorry, fellas. Waste not, want not.



   

                   

Cops!



   

                   

Not on the list, not in the club.



   

                   

How do?



   

                   

You on the list?



   

                   

No, but I believe my friends are.

Perhaps you know them?



   

                   

Franklin, Grant...



   

                   

and Jackson.



   

                   

That's it! No one gets in.



   

                   

Now we present the most beautiful

flower of the Congo Bongo...



   

                   

Miss Tina Carlyle.



   

                   

Beautiful.



   

                   

Love makes me treat you...



   

                   

The way that I do

Gee, baby...



   

                   

ain't I good to you



   

                   

There's nothing too good...



   

                   

for a boy that's so true



   

                   

Gee, baby, ain't I good to you



   

                   

I bought you a fur coat

for Christmas



   

                   

A diamond ring...



   

                   

a Cadillac car...



   

                   

And everything



   

                   

Love makes me treat you...



   

                   

the way that I do



   

                   

Gee, baby, ain't I good to you



   

                   

Love makes me treat you...



   

                   

the way that I do



   

                   

Gee, baby, ain't I good to you



   

                   

There's nothing too good...



   

                   

for a man so true



   

                   

Gee,baby, ain't I good to you



   

                   

I know how to make a man happy

I'll treat you right



   

                   

- Why are you here?

- There's trouble.



   

                   

You better come upstairs.



   

                   

Come on, let's go.



   

                   

They got me paying taxes...



   

                   

for what I gave to you



   

                   

Gee, baby, ain't I good to you



   

                   

Let's rock this joint.



   

                   

Smoking.



   

                   

What happened?



   

                   

Someone hit the joint before us.



   

                   

Get that, Doc.



   

                   

Suck on that.



   

                   

Son of a bitch!



   

                   

Who did this, man?



   

                   

Who?!



   

                   

Him!



   

                   

That's the guy.



   

                   

The guy dancing with Tina?



   

                   

He's dead meat.



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

I want this place cleared now.



   

                   

Club's closed. Move it!

You think I'm joking? Come on, move it!



   

                   

Party's over, let's go!



   

                   

Get out of here.



   

                   

Get lost!



   

                   

Okay, Twinkle Toes.



   

                   

Where is my money, tell me now.



   

                   

You've got   .  %  in T-bills

amortized over the fiscal year.



   

                   

  %  in stocks and bonds.



   

                   

Carry the   divide by the GNP...



   

                   

Fortunately, funeral bouquets

are deductible.



   

                   

Ice this deadbeat.



   

                   

Shoot him!



   

                   

Thanks.



   

                   

You got me, partner.



   

                   

Hold me close,Red.



   

                   

It's getting dark.



   

                   

Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out.



   

                   

Tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home

this Christmas.



   

                   

Tell Scarlet I do give a damn.



   

                   

Pardon me.



   

                   

Thank you.



   

                   

You love me.



   

                   

You really love me.



   

                   

You're not going anywhere.



   

                   

Drop it, Tyrel!



   

                   

Drop it.



   

                   

You got a warrant?

Or did you come for a nightcap?



   

                   

What I got is probable cause.



   

                   

Your boys knocked over Edge City Bank.



   

                   

Easy. You're giving me a woody.



   

                   

And one was wearing a big,

green mask.



   

                   

For once, you're right.



   

                   

Except it wasn't one of my boys.



   

                   

Maybe if you tried a little

actual police work...



   

                   

Cuff him.



   

                   

We got a stiff upstairs.

It's a guy from the heist.



   

                   

Call that high-priced

lawyer of yours.



   

                   

We'll go downtown for a chat.



   

                   

Get him out of here.



   

                   

I know you're in there.



   

                   

Police!



   

                   

Open up!



   

                   

Oh, my God.



   

                   

I know you're in there!



   

                   

Open up!



   

                   

Come on, I'm getting blisters

on my fingers.



   

                   

Stop it.



   

                   

I'm coming, okay.



   

                   

I'll be right there.



   

                   

Let's go, move it!



   

                   

Alright!



   

                   

Hi, Lieutenant.



   

                   

This isn't the best time right now.

I just--



   

                   

Won't you come in?



   

                   

Where were you last night?



   

                   

Here, mostly.



   

                   

Something wrong?



   

                   

What do you know about The Mask?



   

                   

"Mask?"



   

                   

Don't insult my intelligence.



   

                   

He robs the bank you work in,

then I find this in the Coco Bongo.



   

                   

There can't be   idiots

with these pajamas.



   

                   

May I see those pajamas?



   

                   

Those pajamas?



   

                   

Those pajamas...



   

                   

were stolen.



   

                   

Somebody stole your pajamas?



   

                   

What is this city coming to...



   

                   

when a man's pajama drawer is

no longer safe!



   

                   

Look at that guy.



   

                   

- Nobody's that fast at my bank.

- I'll say.



   

                   

That's one hell of a rubber mask.



   

                   

Lab reports?



   

                   

We got fingerprints from currency,

but nothing matches Tyrel's men.



   

                   

He beat them to the punch.



   

                   

Get the bank employee files and run

down the prints on a guy named lpkiss.



   

                   

You figure it was an inside job?



   

                   

I need some prints to lock

this whack job up till doomsday.



   

                   

   grand...



   

                   

to whoever finds that green bastard

before the cops.



   

                   

I want you to get the word out

to every street hustler...



   

                   

every low life in this town.

Understand?



   

                   

I want him here tomorrow, alive.



   

                   

You still here?



   

                   

Come on, let's go.



   

                   

What are you looking at?



   

                   

You.



   

                   

You're losing it.



   

                   

I'm not losing anything...



   

                   

except maybe some extra baggage.



   

                   

What's that mean?



   

                   

You didn't fight much last night

when that freak kissed you.



   

                   

Did it look like I had much

of a choice?



   

                   

Maybe you did...



   

                   

maybe you didn't. Who knows, right?



   

                   

I'll tell you one thing.



   

                   

It's going to be payback for anybody

who crosses me.



   

                   

We have a crisis here and you

stroll in an hour late?



   

                   

If I must put up with--



   

                   

Back off, monkey boy...



   

                   

or I'll tell your dad you treat

this place like your piggy bank.



   

                   

Or we should call the IRS...



   

                   

and arrange a vacation for you

at Club Fed?



   

                   

That'll be all.



   

                   

Genius.



   

                   

That was genius. Buddy, I have chills.



   

                   

God! What side of whose bed

did you wake up on, man?



   

                   

I'm not sure.



   

                   

I haven't exactly been myself lately.



   

                   

You don't look real fabulous.



   

                   

Really, do I look bad?



   

                   

Don't worry. This'll put the color

back in your cheeks.



 

                   

Really, do I look bad?



 

                   

Don't worry. This'll put the color

back in your cheeks.



 

                   

  tickets to the charity ball

at the Coco Bongo Club, Saturday.



 

                   

Anybody who's anybody will be there.



 

                   

Want to be my date?



 

                   

Wait just a minute.



 

                   

- Why are you here?

- I wanted to thank you.



 

                   

I don't have much to open an account

with anymore.



 

                   

What about the club?

You were doing great.



  

                   

It's not your problem.

I'll be okay.



  

                   

Come here.



  

                   

You didn't stop by just to see me,

did you?



  

                   

It's okay, tell me.



  

                   

The guy they say robbed this place...



  

                   

- The Mask?

- I think he was at the club.



  

                   

Really?



  

                   

They say he's pretty...



  

                   

weird looking.



  

                   

Yeah, but...



  

                   

you should see him dance.



  

                   

Did anyone find out who he is?



  

                   

Why, you interested?



  

                   

Just curious, I guess.



  

                   

I better be going.



  

                   

Thanks for everything.



  

                   

You'd like to see him again?



  

                   

I wouldn't mind.



  

                   

I know him, you know.



  

                   

You do?



  

                   

We're old college buddies,

him and me.



  

                   

It's funny you mention

he dances because...



  

                   

I taught him a couple of

dance moves myself.



  

                   

Think you could have him

meet me tonight?



  

                   

Maybe I could work something out.



  

                   

- How about at Landfill Park?

- Sunset.



  

                   

- Perfect.

- Super.



  

                   

Thanks, Stanley.

You really are a nice guy.



  

                   

This is an interesting place.



  

                   

Looks like fourth-

or fifth-century Scandinavian.



  

                   

Possibly a representation of one

of the Norse night gods, maybe Loki.



  

                   

Loki?



  

                   

Who is Loki?



  

                   

The Norse god of mischief.



  

                   

Supposedly he caused such trouble that

Odin banished him from Valhalla forever.



  

                   

Then he could have banished him

into that mask.



  

                   

I'm talking about mythology,

Mr. Ipkiss.



  

                   

This is a piece of wood.



  

                   

but your book...!



  

                   

My book is about

masks as a metaphor.



  

                   

A metaphor,not to be taken literally.



  

                   

You suffer from a mild delusion.



  

                   

Alright.



  

                   

I'll prove it to you.



  

                   

But I am not responsible

for the consequences.



  

                   

Just sit back and enjoy the ride,

Mr. Expert.



  

                   

You don't scare me.

Go right ahead.



  

                   

See you.



  

                   

You said Loki was a night god.

Maybe it works at night.



  

                   

I should warn you that I don't work

personally with really sick people.



  

                   

There are private institutions

for those things.



  

                   

I can arrange for a safe environment

for you tonight, if you want.



  

                   

I must see Tina.



  

                   

But what can I do?



  

                   

Do I go as myself...



  

                   

or The Mask?



  

                   

If I tell you, you promise

to leave my office right now?



  

                   

Go as yourself...



  

                   

and as The Mask.



  

                   

Because they are both

one and the same beautiful person.



  

                   

Got the cross-check on

the fingerprints. It's lpkiss.



  

                   

I'm looking at him.



  

                   

Keep the SWAT team standing by.



  

                   

If he's half as bad as they say,

we'll have a full dance card.



  

                   

Pickle relish?



  

                   

- Get in the car.

- But I ordered onion rings.



  

                   

LANDFILL PARK



  

                   

What are you doing here?



  

                   

I wanted to make sure that you

  got together all right.



  

                   

That's nice.



  

                   

I hardly ever stop by here.



  

                   

It's hard to believe it was...



  

                   

a garbage heap.



  

                   

It's really beautiful

right around sunset.



  

                   

The methane emissions

really pick up the colors.



  

                   

All those...



  

                   

pinks and greens.



  

                   

My friend will be along here

any minute. I better go.



  

                   

Stanley, wait.



  

                   

Hello, cherie.



  

                   

We meet again!



  

                   

Is it fate?



  

                   

Is it meant to be?

It is written in the stars...



  

                   

that we are destined to fraternize?



  

                   

I'd like to think so.



  

                   

Kiss me, my dear, and I will reveal

my croissant.



  

                   

I will spread your p t . I will dip

my ladle in your vichyssoise.



  

                   

She's so coy.



  

                   

I love it.



  

                   

Our love is like a red, red rose.



   

                   

And I am a little thorny.



   

                   

Je t'adore! Je t'adore!



   

                   

Shoot the window. I don't care!



   

                   

This is Kellaway.

I need back-up.



   

                   

Cigarette?



   

                   

Now, like Napoleon...



   

                   

I will divide and conquer.



   

                   

Police!



   

                   

Merde.



   

                   

Freeze.



   

                   

Put your hands up.



   

                   

But you told me to freeze.



   

                   

Alright, alright, unfreeze.



   

                   

You're under arrest.



   

                   

It wasn't me.



   

                   

It was the one-armed man.



   

                   

Alright, I confess.



   

                   

I did it, you hear?

And I'm glad, glad, I tell you!



   

                   

What are they going to do to me, Sarge?

What are they going to do?



   

                   

Sorry, son, that's not my department.



   

                   

Search him.



   

                   

Where's a camcorder when you need one?



   

                   

It's going to be a long night.

My wife'll kill me.



   

                   

- What is it?

- Cops got lpkiss at Landfill Park.



   

                   

Let me cover it. I need this story.

You go home to Claire.



   

                   

I don't know. Ramsey said--



   

                   

I will take care of Ramsey.



   

                   

Thanks a million, I owe you one.



   

                   

Really big sunglasses, nerf ball...



   

                   

Bike horn...



   

                   

Small-mouthed bass...

bowling pin...



   

                   

mouse-trap...



   

                   

rubber chicken...



   

                   

- Little to the left. That's it.

- I don't know.



   

                   

Funny eyeball glasses...



   

                   

I've never seen those in my life.



   

                   

- bazooka.

- I have a permit for that.



   

                   

- Picture of Kellaway's wife...

- What?



   

                   

CALL ME LOVER!



   

                   

Margaret! Son of a bitch!



   

                   

I figured you had a sense of humor.



   

                   

you married her!



   

                   

That's got to hurt.



   

                   

Get him!



   

                   

It's over. Raise your hands...



   

                   

or we'll fire.



   

                   

Hit it!



   

                   

They call me Cuban Pete

I'm the king of the rumba beat



   

                   

When I play the maracas



   

                   

I go chick-chicky boom



   

                   

Yes, I'm Cuban Pete



   

                   

I'm the craze of my street



   

                   

When I start to dance everything goes

Chick-chicky boom, chick-chicky boom



   

                   

The senoritas sing...



   

                   

and they swing



   

                   

It's very nice



   

                   

Full of spice



   

                   

They dance and bring a happy ring

Never a care



   

                   

Singing a song

All the day long



   

                   

If you like the beat

Take a lesson from Cuban Pete



   

                   

I'll teach you to

chick-chicky boom



   

                   

He's a modest guy



   

                   

Although he's the hottest guy



   

                   

In Havana



   

                   

Si, senorita, I know...



   

                   

that when I chicky boom



   

                   

It's very nice

so full of spice



   

                   

I place my hand on your hip



   

                   

And if you will give me your hand



   

                   

Then we shall try

Just you and I



   

                   

- Not bad.

- Shut up and help me down.



   

                   

I'll teach you to chick-chicky boom

Chick-chicky boom



   

                   

Dance and I'll blow your brains out.



   

                   

Give me that thing.



   

                   

See you!



   

                   

There! Let's get him.

Snap out of it. This dance is over!



   

                   

Let's go! Follow me, officers!



   

                   

He's down the alley. Follow me.

Come on. Grab your gun.



   

                   

Stanley, get in!



   

                   

There!



   

                   

Halt, or I'll shoot!



   

                   

Shoot! Shoot!



   

                   

Seat belts.



   

                   

I missed him.



   

                   

Come on, we all missed him.



   

                   

THE MASK ROBS BANK



   

                   

I saw it.



   

                   

I saw everything.



   

                   

What's happening to you, Stanley?



   

                   

It's crazy.



   

                   

I'm losing control.



   

                   

When I put that mask on...



   

                   

I can do anything.



   

                   

Be anything.



   

                   

It's wrecking my life.



   

                   

My life is wrecked. Wrecked.



   

                   

I don't know what's happening to you...



   

                   

but I do know this:



   

                   

that letter you sent my column...



   

                   

that was from a guy with more guts...



   

                   

and more heart...



   

                   

than any of the creeps

I've met in this city.



   

                   

Whatever that mask is...



   

                   

you don't need it.



   

                   

You...



   

                   

Stanley lpkiss...



   

                   

are already all you'll ever need to be.



   

                   

Gosh, Peg...



   

                   

do you really mean that?



   

                   

Actually...



   

                   

no.



   

                   

What?



   

                   

Where were you? I've been vamping

for    minutes.



   

                   

Is this him?



   

                   

You got the    thou'?



   

                   

Give her the money.



   

                   

Right.



   

                   

With the mask on, he turns

into that green thing.



   

                   

What are you doing?



   

                   

Sorry. You really are a great guy,

I just can't lose my condo.



   

                   

It's so hard to find an apartment

in this city.



   

                   

You said you wouldn't hurt him!



   

                   

I lied.



   

                   

Tell me.



   

                   

How's this mask work?



   

                   

I don't know. You just...



   

                   

put it on.



   

                   

Boss...



   

                   

be careful, huh?



   

                   

What a rush.



   

                   

You okay?



   

                   

I'm better than ever, you idiot.



   

                   

What do we do with lpkiss?



   

                   

The police want the mask.



   

                   

We'll give them The Mask.



   

                   

The money better be here...



   

                   

or you can lp-kiss your ass good-bye.



   

                   

Get over there.



   

                   

Can't believe it. Hardened cops

dancing in the street...



   

                   

and broadcast on the    o'clock news.



   

                   

- The SWAT team was offered Vegas.

- I'm history.



   

                   

The Captain'll have my badge

for breakfast with a pension on top.



   

                   

It's not all your fault.

Something will turn up.



   

                   

Sure, lpkiss will fall

right into my lap.



   

                   

Get him off of me!



   

                   

Wait!



   

                   

I can explain everything.



   

                   

You can explain everything?

Explain this!



   

                   

Get him up! Let's go!

I got a cell for you, pal.



   

                   

Forget about me, buddy.



   

                   

Find a new place to live.



   

                   

I'll be in here for a long, long time.



   

                   

You, with the face.



   

                   

You got a visitor.



   

                   

- Why?

- Is it true?



   

                   

You're The Mask.



   

                   

Yeah, but don't tell anybody.

If I get...



   

                   

a good lawyer and a deal...



   

                   

I'll be out in about       years.



   

                   

It's risky, coming here.



   

                   

Your boyfriend might be upset.



   

                   

He'll be at the charity ball tonight.



   

                   

Like what? The Lambada?



   

                   

This is serious. There must be a way

to stop him.



   

                   

How does it work?



   

                   

I don't know.



   

                   

It's like...



   

                   

it brings your innermost desires

to life.



   

                   

If deep down inside...



   

                   

you're a bit repressed and

hopelessly romantic...



   

                   

you become some sort of...



   

                   

a love-crazy wild man.



   

                   

And if you're like Dorian?



   

                   

Then we're all in big trouble.



   

                   

And if I were you,

I'd get out of town. Fast.



   

                   

Thanks.



   

                   

For what?



   

                   

Lots of things.



   

                   

Sharing a sunset with me.



   

                   

For being the only guy who treated me

like a person, not...



   

                   

a party favor.



   

                   

For being any kind of romantic...



   

                   

even a hopeless one.



   

                   

You're welcome.



   

                   

That night at the club I knew...



   

                   

I'd found someone special.



   

                   

The Mask.



   

                   

It was the guy inside The Mask.



   

                   

It was you all along.



   

                   

Lady, time's up.



   

                   

Could I have just...



   

                   

one more minute?



   

                   

I've got to disappear for a while now.



   

                   

Don't know where but I'll let you know

as soon as I can.



   

                   

Somebody help me!



   

                   

Guard, guard!



   

                   

A woman's being chased in the alley.



   

                   

She needs help.



   

                   

Sure. Keep it down.



   

                   

Serve and protect, man!



   

                   

Good boy. Come on.



   

                   

Jump up. Can you jump up?



   

                   

Remember how I taught you not to

jump up on people? Forget that.



   

                   

Come on! Get up here.



   

                   

Get up. Get up here!



   

                   

Get up. Get up here. That's it.



   

                   

You can do it.

Come on. Come on!



   

                   

Put some effort into it!



   

                   

Baby, there you are.



   

                   

I was worried about you.



   

                   

- You talk to the cops?

- Only to see what lpkiss told them.



   

                   

That's right, you and Stanley.

You two are getting awfully close.



   

                   

Bet you helped him with the bank job.



   

                   

- That's ridiculous.

- Oh, is it?



   

                   

Look what I found in her car.



   

                   

Going away alone, baby?



   

                   

Boys, I want you to...



   

                   

get her something pretty to wear.



   

                   

We're going to a party tonight.



   

                   

We'll have one hell of a time, right?



   

                   

Get out of my sight.



   

                   

Jump up.



   

                   

Get up. Come on.



   

                   

Come on, Milo. Jump, please.



   

                   

Do it for Daddy.



   

                   

That's it!



   

                   

God, I can't believe it.



   

                   

Good boy. Good boy.



   

                   

See that man over there?



   

                   

He's got keys.



   

                   

Go get those keys.



   

                   

Go get them. Go get the keys.



   

                   

That's it.



   

                   

The key.



   

                   

No, not the cheese, the keys.



   

                   

Drop the cheese...



   

                   

and get the keys.



   

                   

Over there, over there.



   

                   

Oh, man. Come on.



   

                   

Come here. Good boy. That's a good boy.



   

                   

Give it, give me the keys.

Give me the keys.



   

                   

Come on, drop it, drop it.



   

                   

It's sundown.



   

                   

It's almost time.



   

                   

I wouldn't, darling.



   

                   

DANGER

EXPLOSIVES



   

                   

Wouldn't want to start the

celebration early.



   

                   

Hold it!



   

                   

I am warning you...



   

                   

I am seriously stressed out here.



   

                   

Easy.



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

Don't be an idiot.



   

                   

You're in a police station. There is no

way you'll walk out of here like this.



   

                   

You're know, you're right.



   

                   

- Absolutely right.

- What are you doing?



   

                   

You'll take me out...



   

                   

as your prisoner.



   

                   

Put it on! Put it on!



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

- I'm really very sorry about this.

- I'm sure.



   

                   

You got the wrong guy.



   

                   

It's a bum rap.



   

                   

I got my rights.



   

                   

Where are you taking lpkiss?



   

                   

Ixnay! Ehay's otgay an ungay.



   

                   

I get it. Pig Latin, right?



   

                   

Eesay ouyay aterlay.



   

                   

Come on!



   

                   

Sit back and relax.



   

                   

I must change for the party.



   

                   

TONIGHT, CASINO



   

                   

WAR ORPHANS FUND



   

                   

I need cigarettes.



   

                   

- Which brand?

- It doesn't matter, I don't smoke.



   

                   

But for you, I would shoot

the Surgeon General.



   

                   

Mayor Tilton, may we have a word?



   

                   

I always have time for the press

and my loyal constituents.



   

                   

Let me out of these cuffs,

you drive like a maniac.



   

                   

Sorry, we're late for the ball.



   

                   

Alice and the rabbit'll be

disappointed.



   

                   

Now you're being cynical.



   

                   

Who are you?



   

                   

I'm just an ex-employee...



   

                   

who's come for his back pay.



   

                   

Or should I say payback?



   

                   

Kill him.



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

Ladies and gentlemen...



   

                   

I will be the host...



   

                   

for the rest of the evening.



   

                   

Get your dog away from me.



   

                   

Sorry, he seems to be attracted to you.



   

                   

Where's everyone?

Something's not kosher.



   

                   

- Exactly.

- Watch it!



   

                   

Sorry.



   

                   

I must lock you in.



   

                   

Use the radio.



   

                   

You know, call for back-up

or something.



   

                   

This could be dangerous.

Stay here and be a good boy.



   

                   

Daddy has to go kick some ass.



   

                   

He's a dead man.



   

                   

Down! Get down!



   

                   

Take it easy, I got the point.



   

                   

Blow it!



   

                   

Bastard.



   

                   

What's the matter, darling?



   

                   

This is your big production number.



   

                   

And you know it's important...



   

                   

to go out with a big bang.



   

                   

Why are you here?



   

                   

Take this gun and start

sneaking people out the back.



   

                   

Step back.



   

                   

- Do you know who I am?

- A dead man if you don't step back.



   

                   

What about some respect?



   

                   

- What kind of thug are you?

- All set, Dorian.



   

                   

That's it.



   

                   

This party's over...



   

                   

in    minutes.



   

                   

This is the moment when a man...



   

                   

shows what he's really made of.



   

                   

Crap.



   

                   

Drop it.



   

                   

Smart dog.



   

                   

Boss, look who decided to crash

the party.



   

                   

How's it going?



   

                   

Bring him up here!



   

                   

Wait! No!



   

                   

This is no time for last requests.



   

                   

But all I wanted was a kiss.



   

                   

A kiss?



   

                   

Just one...



   

                   

Iast kiss.



   

                   

I can't shut it off.



   

                   

There's always time...



   

                   

for one last kiss.



   

                   

From the real Dorian.



   

                   

The one I used to love.



   

                   

Nobody ever kissed me

like Dorian Tyrel.



   

                   

Romeo!



   

                   

This place will blow!



   

                   

Just wait!



   

                   

I've decided...



   

                   

to give her one last thrill.



   

                   

Get it!



   

                   

Run, Milo!



   

                   

Stanley, hurry!



   

                   

Don't worry.



   

                   

It's all over now.



   

                   

Got you.



   

                   

I'll take you apart.



   

                   

I hope you can enjoy the victory

with one freaking eye!



   

                   

Good doggie.



   

                   

Good doggie.



   

                   

I'm winning!



   

                   

JACKPOT



   

                   

Oh, my God!



   

                   

This must be a new breed.



   

                   

Easy, boy!



   

                   

Good boy!



   

                   

Did you miss me?



   

                   

I guess not!



   

                   

Now, you have to ask yourself

one question:



   

                   

"Do I feel lucky?"



   

                   

Well...



   

                   

do you...



   

                   

punks?



   

                   

That's a spicy meatball.



   

                   

How do?



   

                   

This guy's incorrigible.



   

                   

You were good, kid, real good...



   

                   

but as long as I'm around

you'll be second-best.



   

                   

Police! Hands up!



   

                   

Officers, arrest those men.



   

                   

I've always wanted to say that.



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

Give me that gun.



   

                   

He stole all our jewelry.

Take me to headquarters...



   

                   

Stop that man!



   

                   

I've got you now.



   

                   

Watch it, Chunky!



   

                   

- Mayor Tilton, I'm so--

- What's wrong with you?



   

                   

That man is The Mask.



   

                   

No. Dorian Tyrel was The Mask.

I saw it with my own eyes.



   

                   

This man here saved our lives.



   

                   

- With a little help.

- You're a real hero.



   

                   

It's nothing...



   

                   

any American with...



   

                   

balls of steel wouldn't do

for his community.



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

Mayor Tilton, did you see that dog?



   

                   

Leave the dog alone.



   

                   

I want you in my office

first thing tomorrow.



   

                   

- Yes, Your Honor.

- That doesn't sound good at all.



   

                   

No, it doesn't.

What would sound good to you?



   

                   

- Breakfast.

- Shut up!



   

                   

Sure you know what you're doing?



   

                   

I'm sure.



   

                   

Then do what you must.



   

                   

Sure you won't miss this guy?



   

                   

When he's gone, all that's left is me.



   

                   

Smoking!









 
Special help by SergeiK