Mona Lisa Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Mona Lisa script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Neil Jordan movie starring Bob Hoskins.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Mona Lisa. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Mona Lisa Script


 

                   

Mum no!!!!



 

                   

Just a minute is all l'm asking for



 

                   

She don't know you George, and

she don't wanna know ya



 

                   

She's my daughter



 

                   

l don't wanna fucking know you



 

                   

You can't do this to me. l only

come to see her



 

                   

Mum no, no



 

                   

l'm sorry love, l'm sorry



 

                   

Get out, George



  

                   

No, no



  

                   

You cow!



  

                   

l only came to say hello



  

                   

Hello!!!



  

                   

Fuck off, fuck off



  

                   

Oi! you ganna clean all that up



  

                   

Eh, eh take it easy boys, OK?



  

                   

OK hey just let him be right the

man's upset. OK



  

                   

That's the right word hey George,

upset?



  

                   

So where'd they all come from?



  

                   

They live here?



  

                   

Since when?



  

                   

Since you went inside



  

                   

Jesus



  

                   

Did you get my last book?



  

                   

Yeah, Yeah, shouldn't have been the

driver though



  

                   

Who should it have been then?



  

                   

l could pin him in the first

chapter



  

                   

Well who should it have been

then?



  

                   

The Chinese fella who fed the

goldfish



  

                   

You didn't write it George



  

                   

No, no l didn't but if l had

of...Christ!!



  

                   

You kept it



  

                   

Aye, kept it for you



  

                   

Keep it too



  

                   

Why does she hate me Thomas?



  

                   

She doesn't



  

                   

Yes she does



  

                   

You can never tell with women

George, they're different



  

                   

They wear skirts and like to

powder their noses



  

                   

and when they go to heaven they

get wings



  

                   

Like angels?



  

                   

Aye, like angels



  

                   

Yeah but angels are men Thomas



  

                   

Men!



  

                   

Yeah



  

                   

No one told me that



  

                   

lt's true, angels are men



  

                   

You got a big white rabbit with

long floppy ears?



  

                   

No but we have one with short

ears



  

                   

What's his name?



  

                   

His name is Arthur, he's over here



  

                   

Oh right he'll do yeah



  

                   

What is this George?



  

                   

lt's a rabbit



  

                   

You're not going to start all that

business again are you?



  

                   

Yeah, why not?



  

                   

Look George you can't go in there



  

                   

Why not?



  

                   

lts different



  

                   

And Mortwell is he different too?



  

                   

Very different



  

                   

We'll see



  

                   

Come on George your not going in

there



  

                   

l've done   years for him Thomas!



  

                   

Listen, George you don't know

what they are up to now



  

                   

l don't give a fuck, give us the

rabbit



  

                   

No listen, oi, what do you want it

for?



  

                   

l'm going to give it to him



  

                   

Well its up to you



  

                   

We're closed. Tell him Terry



  

                   

Yeah we're closed sir



  

                   

Hello Terry



  

                   

He'll have a lettuce and l'll have a

bloody Mary



  

                   

George?



  

                   

That's right and this is Arthur



  

                   

What you doing here?



  

                   

Looking for Mortwell Terry, bit of

work you know, what do you do now?



  

                   

Whatever comes up



  

                   

Yeah but this is a knocking shop



  

                   

Leave it out George



  

                   

So where is he?



  

                   

Mortwell?



  

                   

Yeah



  

                   

He's not around



  

                   

Well he must be somewhere



  

                   

Better ask Dudley George



  

                   

Through there?



  

                   

Expecting me?



  

                   

Knew l was out?



  

                   

l suspected it George



  

                   

So where is he?



  

                   

Where's who?



  

                   

Mortwell



  

                   

He's away George, South of France



  

                   

He owes me Dudley, he said he'd

look after me



  

                   

He said a lot of things George



  

                   

Next time you see him, give him

that!



  

                   

Oi George, George, come on



  

                   

Look, we need a driver



   

                   

l'm a driver



   

                   

Do you know what a bleeper is?



   

                   

A what?



   

                   

l can't understand it, how's that

little thing



   

                   

lt's supposed to go bleep wherever

l am?



   

                   

Well it bounces off the post office

tower George



   

                   

Miracle of modern technology



   

                   

Yeah but it ain't got an aerial or

nothing



   

                   

Ah but it doesn't need one, look l'll

show you right



   

                   

What's that? ls that going?



   

                   

No that's just a tester



   

                   

Well don't fuck about with it for

Christ sake



   

                   

You've been pulling that bleeding

knob ain't ya



   

                   

Bet you've buggered it



   

                   

What do you think?



   

                   

What do you do melt it down and

eat it?



   

                   

No they're ornamental George



   

                   

Ornamental spaghetti



   

                   

Aye, l reckon it'll go a bomb



   

                   

Where did you get it?



   

                   

Contacts George, can't find plastic

spaghetti just anywhere



   

                   

Nah, don't suppose too many

people make it do they?



   

                   

Aye well the Japanese cornered

the market



   

                   

Do ya fancy a fibreglass fruit flan



   

                   

or a polystyrene tooty-fruity?

Fancy a cup of tea?



   

                   

What's it made of?



   

                   

Leaves!!



   

                   

Where's the bar?



   

                   

Take a seat sir and l'll take your

order



   

                   

Thank you sir



   

                   

Are you doing business?



   

                   

Darling sorry l kept you



   

                   

What's with the darlin'?



   

                   

For fuck sake



   

                   

What do you think this is the

honeymoon hotel?



   

                   

Look do you have business in this

hotel or can l really help you?



   

                   

Where's your car?



   

                   

Over there



   

                   

Pretend you know me would you



   

                   

But l don't know you do l



   

                   

Not the back, the front



   

                   

So where do they get you from?



   

                   

Under a cabbage leaf



   

                   

l have to work these places



   

                   

the bar boy turns a blind eye but

the manager doesn't



   

                   

Are you going to tell me where

you wanna go?



   

                   

The Lambert



   

                   

Jesus



   

                   

Sorry



   

                   

Didn't they tell you that? You're

meant to be my date not my minicab driver



   

                   

What does your date do?



   

                   

He looks after me you dingbat he's

meant to want to see me



   

                   

And what if he don't?



   

                   

He pretends



   

                   

How do you pretend?



   

                   

Christ who sent you?



   

                   

Does it matter you're the tom

darlin'



   

                   

Just shut up and drive would you



   

                   

Oh can l have a large bloody Mary?

l'm sitting here alright



   

                   

Here did you hear me?



   

                   

Are you serving here or just

wearing in a new pair of shoes, Oi!



   

                   

Do ya want a drink?



   

                   

They don't seem to serve you here



   

                   

l've done it wrong again ain't l? Ok

l got it wrong.That's all



   

                   

What do you expect, l'm not used

to working in piss holes like this



   

                   

That was quick



   

                   

You were asleep



   

                   

Was l, how was he?



   

                   

l beg your pardon



   

                   

How was the Arab?



   

                   

None of your business



   

                   

Oh, alright, where to?



   

                   

Kings Cross



   

                   

Like a chocolate sandwich?



   

                   

Bit down market in it?



   

                   

Shut up



   

                   

Drive on please



   

                   

And now?



   

                   

You leave me here



   

                   

Good night then



   

                   

You'll have to get yourself some

clothes



   

                   

Why will l have to get meself

some clothes?



   

                   

lf you're to drive me



   

                   

Here use this



   

                   

l'm not having you paying me



   

                   

Why not?



   

                   

You don't even like me



   

                   

l can claim it



   

                   

Good night



   

                   

ls this real?



   

                   

Aye of course, got a present for

you



   

                   

ls it good?



   

                   

lts brilliant



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

Aye



   

                   

Somebody's murdering opera

singers right



   

                   

And after every murder they leave

a Percheron



   

                   

What's a Percheron?



   

                   

Kind of horse



   

                   

You mean like a white horse that

pulls a milk cart?



   

                   

Aye, that kind of thing



   

                   

Oh right. And?



   

                   

Well then it gets complicated,

might just spoil it for you



   

                   

Christ



   

                   

What do ya think?



   

                   

Jesus



   

                   

You don't like them?



   

                   

Do you?



   

                   

Well l bought them didn't l



   

                   

You bought them



   

                   

Oh fuck, here, here's your change



   

                   

Not here for Jesus sake



   

                   

You're as much cover as a pair of

fishnet tights



   

                   

l may as well be wearing a sign

around my neck



   

                   

All you're missing is the gold

medallion



   

                   

Don't like them either?



   

                   

Fucking hate them



   

                   

Right



   

                   

See l'm cheap, l can't help it, God

made me that way



   

                   

Being cheap is one thing, looking

cheap is another. That really takes talent



   

                   

Some woman are whores some

whores are black



   

                   

You take what you are given don't

ya?



   

                   

l didn't ask to drive you around, l

was given you, same as you was given me



   

                   

The only difference is you

complain and l don't!!



   

                   

Turn it off!!



   

                   

No



   

                   

You heard me turn it off



   

                   

Look you ask me to buy clothes l

buy em, but you make remarks



   

                   

Did anybody ever teach you

manners?



   

                   

Do you wanna work for me?



   

                   

No



   

                   

Get out, get fucking out... Now tell

me l'm fired



   

                   

All right you're fired



   

                   

Lovely. l'm fired and you're street

walking



   

                   

Fuck off



   

                   

You swine



   

                   

Go screw yourself



   

                   

Piss off



   

                   

Look, come on



   

                   

Look, come on, you can't stand in

the middle of the road



   

                   

You're gonna get run over.Come on

please



   

                   

Please l'm sorry, alright l wasted

your money, l look ridiculous, l'm sorry



   

                   

You don't look that bad



   

                   

Well bad enough



   

                   

Get in the car. Hey. Madam



   

                   

We're late



   

                   

Alright, alright l'm sorry



   

                   

We're gonna get run over here



   

                   

Where do you want to go?



   

                   

Up to Highgate



   

                   

Madam thought you might like

some refreshments



   

                   

Oh thank you very much, will she

be long?



   

                   

No more than usual sir



   

                   

Oh right, cheers



   

                   

Who do l give this to?



   

                   

To me



   

                   

Oh thank you, thanks a lot. Ta ra.

See ya



   

                   

He took his time, what did he fall

asleep half way through?



   

                   

Well you never know with these

darkies do you?



   

                   

l'm sorry, well l told you l was

cheap didn't l



   

                   

Very



   

                   

Much obliged



   

                   

Where to now?



   

                   

Kings Cross



   

                   

Back to the meat rack, your wish

is my command



   

                   

Jesus they're so young, here tell

me something



   

                   

What?



   

                   

Do they ever want you back?



   

                   

Who?



   

                   

Your clients



   

                   

Always



   

                   

What they fall in love with you?



   

                   

Well do they?



   

                   

Sometimes they fall for what they

think l am



   

                   

What do they think you are?



   

                   

What do you think. Black whore



   

                   

Did l say that



   

                   

What do you think then?



   

                   

Well you ain't no night nurse



   

                   

No l ain't no night nurse



   

                   

Lets say you are a lady



   

                   

Thank you



   

                   

So what about this job then?



   

                   

Well its just driving, you know



   

                   

Oh, driving who?



   

                   

A tall thin black tart. l could

write a book about it



   

                   

Too many t's



   

                   

No, no. He comes out the nick and

they owe him one



   

                   

And they give him a job, driving a

tall thin black tart



   

                   

And she fucking hates him, treats

him like a doormat



   

                   

And he hates her?



   

                   

Well kind of



   

                   

You mean he likes her?



   

                   

He don't even know her does he



   

                   

She's early



   

                   

You look better in the daytime



   

                   

Yeah so do you, where do ya wanna

go?



   

                   

Down here



   

                   

What you wanna walk?



   

                   

Yes, its good for you



   

                   

Bit early though in it?



   

                   

l know but the early bird catches

the worm



   

                   

Clever little bastard



   

                   

ln here?



   

                   

Yes



   

                   

You got business here?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

Seen these



   

                   

They're pure silk



   

                   

These



   

                   

Do you like men's clothes?



   

                   

Sometimes. How about a thin

stripe?



   

                   

That's classy



   

                   

Herringbone?



   

                   

Here look at that



   

                   

lts lovely, what do you think?



   

                   

What do you wanna wear men's

clothes for?



   

                   

l don't, its for you



   

                   

For me?



   

                   

Yeah, try it



   

                   

You can't dress me



   

                   

Yes l can try it. Look if you wanna

work for me you dress yourself



   

                   

l said no



   

                   

Take the fucking thing will you?



   

                   

You serious?



   

                   

Yes. Please



   

                   

l may as well then may'n l?



   

                   

Yeah you may as well



   

                   

What do ya think?



   

                   

lts lovely



   

                   

Yeah its lovely, thank you



   

                   

There was this frog and no one

would ever kiss him...



   

                   

Why not?



   

                   

Well he was a frog weren' he. You

know the story don't ya?



   

                   

Yeah, turned into a prince



   

                   

Yeah. Then they got...



   

                   

   minutes!!



   

                   

Right



   

                   

A Bloody Mary is it sir



   

                   

No, l'd like a pot of tea please



   

                   

Earl Grey or Lapsang Souchong?



   

                   

No tea



   

                   

Very good sir



   

                   

Thank you



   

                   

Good evening sir, may l see your

invitation?



   

                   

Denny. Denny. lt's all right Denny



   

                   

Jesus Christ George



   

                   

What am l doing here right?



   

                   

l didn't say that



   

                   

l'm sorry



   

                   

Don't be sorry its bad to be sorry



   

                   

Hello mate



   

                   

Hello



   

                   

Rachid this is George



   

                   

Of course we have met



   

                   

How did you get on the other

night, was she good?



   

                   

Come on George



   

                   

Look l'm sorry, but l've been trying

to contact ya



   

                   

Wasn't Dudley looking after ya?



   

                   

Well yeah, yeah, he is but l mean



   

                   

lts nothing like the personal touch

is there? seven years



   

                   

This isn't the time, this is

business George



   

                   

But we've got a lot to talk about



   

                   

So we have, l'll ring you



   

                   

Promise?



   

                   

l promise



   

                   

Did ya get the rabbit?



   

                   

Good?



   

                   

What do you mean?



   

                   

Well l mean, ya know. Alright?



   

                   

What is wrong with you?



   

                   

l dunno, what's wrong with me?

Hey



   

                   

Stop here



   

                   

Here mate you as fast as your

car?



   

                   

Maybe it's for her, hey?



   

                   

l've got a daughter that age



   

                   

She's not out there



   

                   

Jesus l hope not



   

                   

Go on Grandad give it to me



   

                   

Here shall we go?



   

                   

Do you want some? l'm good. l do

French, twosomes, l'm very good



   

                   

Look go home to your mum will

ya?



   

                   

l know your type, want it but you

won't pay for it will ya.



   

                   

l've see you before, your...



   

                   

Go on piss off



   

                   

Up yours



   

                   

Has he had you Rosie? l'll fix the

bastard



   

                   

lf you don't want her you fuck off

man and take your fucking motor with ya



   

                   

You! What you doing here?



   

                   

Drive!



   

                   

lf Anderson finds you he'll cut

your face off



   

                   

Drive would you



   

                   

You nigger tart



   

                   

Stop it go on get fucking out of

here! Leave him George



   

                   

So tell me, what was that all

about, well come on?



   

                   

Not here, come on inside



   

                   

Where did you learn to do that?



   

                   

Picked it up along the way



   

                   

How do you know him?



   

                   

Like you along the way. l used to

work that street



   

                   

Whose Anderson?



   

                   

Anderson?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

Anderson is a ponce, a pimp



   

                   

Your ponce?



   

                   

An animal born in a butcher's shop



   

                   

But have you got a ponce now?



   

                   

No, got you



   

                   

Did he knock you about?



   

                   

He used to adjust my face, yes



   

                   

Why didn't ya leave?



   

                   

He told me he would cut me up,

then he told me l was wonderful



   

                   

What all in the same breath?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

That's what a ponce does



   

                   

He drives flash cars and lives in a

room with a paraffin heater



   

                   

l had a friend then, he ran the two

of us



   

                   

She was younger than me.

Beautiful. She had a habit, that's why l stayed



   

                   

One day l couldn't take it any

longer



   

                   

l met a man with a gold ring, who

took me to Brighton



   

                   

When l woke up he was gone



   

                   

l didn't mind, saw the sea outside



   

                   

Met another on the pier and that

paid the hotel bill



   

                   

Stayed the whole summer, even

managed to save. l came back to London



   

                   

Met the man with the gold ring

again then and a different world



   

                   

Learned about the West End Hotels



   

                   

l took a taxi round that street

looking for Cath but she was gone



   

                   

lf you last a year and a half on

that street you're lucky. l was lucky, l got out



   

                   

Cathy, her names Cathy. She's a

Londoner. She has a tattoo on her hand, there



   

                   

l promised l would look after her

Things can happen out there



   

                   

Out where?



   

                   

On the streets, in the clubs, l

can't go down but you could



   

                   

l'll pay you



   

                   

How?



   

                   

Any way l can



   

                   

l want to find her. You know the

way it is?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

You're a good man Mr George



   

                   

How can ya tell?



   

                   

l can tell. Will you think about it?



   

                   

Yeah, l'll think about it



   

                   

Promise?



   

                   

Promise



   

                   

Goodnight Mr George



   

                   

Goodnight, thanks for the drink



   

                   

Put the light out. What do you

reckon?



   

                   

What happened to the spaghetti?



   

                   

Went like hot cakes



   

                   

What ya gonna do with them?



   

                   

l'm working on that



   

                   

You're mad



   

                   

D'ya think so?



   

                   

Course



   

                   

Christ. What's happened t'ya

George?



   

                   

l'm growing up Thomas. Want to

look like other people



   

                   

You'll never look like other people

George



   

                   

Fuck is that true? Well she don't

think so



   

                   

Aye, what she up to?



   

                   

She's not up to anything, she's a

friend of mine



   

                   

She's got to be up to something

George, what do you think this lot cost?



   

                   

Well she's a woman of substance.

She's a lady



   

                   

l thought you said she was a tart,

tall thin black tart?



   

                   

Well maybe, but she's still a

fucking lady



   

                   

Sorry about the language



   

                   

Nice car, can l get in then? Oi

they're jealous



   

                   

They friends of yours?



   

                   

Sort of



   

                   

Come on, get in



   

                   

You made a right mess up that day

Dad



   

                   

Yeah l know. l'm sorry



   

                   

So you should be



   

                   

What d'ya mum say?



   

                   

She don't talk about ya



   

                   

Never?



   

                   

Dad why did you leave?



   

                   

Didn't she tell ya?



   

                   

Na



   

                   

Well l'm not going to tell you

either



   

                   

Go on please



   

                   

l was a bad lot, l'll tell you some

day



   

                   

Are you still a bad lot?



   

                   

lts not up to me to say is it?



   

                   

Regular couple



   

                   

Yes dear. Sit down



   

                   

He's lonely



   

                   

Oh, hang on



   

                   

That's it, got to look our best



   

                   

Got your ticket?



   

                   

Yeah, Yeah



   

                   

Drink?



   

                   

No, no thanks you've gotta have a

drink



   

                   

Look if you've got a ticket then



   

                   

Where?



   

                   

Over here



   

                   

How much is that?



   

                   

five pound



   

                   

What after the three pound l just

paid to get in?



   

                   

l don't make the rules



   

                   

Do you want someone to join you?



   

                   

Have you got any blondes?



   

                   

What do you think?



   

                   

Very nice



   

                   

Any chance of a cup of tea?



   

                   

Piss off



   

                   

Don't worry it's disinfectant.

George l didn't know you were a kinky?



   

                   

l'm not



   

                   

What are you doing here then?



   

                   

Looking for a girl



   

                   

Oh yeah



   

                   

No, no not that kind of girl, she's a

young girl called Cathy



   

                   

Young hey?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

Blonde?



   

                   

Yeah, she's blonde and she's got a

little tattoo there



   

                   

Young, blonde, Cathy



   

                   

Yeah that's right



   

                   

Come back in a couple of hours

George



   

                   

What here?



   

                   

No the Go-Go, see what l can do

for you



   

                   

Oh right, thanks Terry. See you in

a couple of hours



   

                   

l don't want a drink, l'm just

coming to see a mate



   

                   

Terry you know him? Oh here he is



   

                   

Hello George



   

                   

You had any luck?



   

                   

Yeah l found her for you



   

                   

Yeah, who Cathy?



   

                   

Yeah the blonde



   

                   

Yeah...What her?



   

                   

No, no the young one



   

                   

Yeah?



   

                   

l'm a bit surprised though George



   

                   

Why?



   

                   

She's very young



   

                   

Here look love, do me a favour, go

away will ya leave me alone



   

                   

Well you know the way it is



   

                   

Yeah l know how it is George.

Tim'll take you up there all right. Tim!



   

                   

Been busy?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

Tourists?



   

                   

Yeah, the Japanese



   

                   

Cathy.    minutes



   

                   

Hello, my names Cathy, what's

yours?



   

                   

George



   

                   

Don't you want to come down and

sit next to me George?



   

                   

Where are you from love?



   

                   

l'm from here



   

                   

No, listen, don't, don't, don't



   

                   

You've to tell me what you want



   

                   

Yeah well l wanna talk



   

                   

Sshhh he's listening, he'll be angry

if you don't come out happy



   

                   

Well l am happy



   

                   

He thinks l'm no good but l am

good, aren't l George?



   

                   

Yeah..yeah, yeah you're very good,

wonderful



   

                   

Doesn't mean you can't talk though

does it?



   

                   

Where did you get these bruises

hey?



   

                   

l told you, he gets angry



   

                   

Where are you from love?



   

                   

From lreland



   

                   

Oh shit



   

                   

No, no, no, no look its no good l'm

looking for someone else



   

                   

Don't say that George, please don't

say that



   

                   

What do you mean he'll hit you

again?



   

                   

Look he won't hit you again Cathy



   

                   

Not if you are happy he won't



   

                   

l told you l am happy



   

                   

Will you tell him that George,

please, tell him that?



   

                   

Alright, alright l'll tell him



   

                   

Promise?



   

                   

l promise



   

                   

Happy?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

Money



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

She's a good girl Cathy



   

                   

Yes very good



   

                   

Come by anytime she'll be here



   

                   

Yes l will l promise



   

                   

Just ask for me



   

                   

And you are?



   

                   

Smith, Mr Smith



   

                   

Mr Smith



   

                   

l went to those clubs like you said



   

                   

And?



   

                   

And, met a girl, about     years of

age, bruises all over her face



   

                   

Said she wanted to make me happy



   

                   

What was her name?



   

                   

Nah she was the wrong girl



   

                   

ls that what you say? l'm gonna

make you happy



   

                   

Sometimes



   

                   

Why am l doing this?



   

                   

So what happened to the dwarf

after he ran of with the ermmm?



   

                   

The percheron



   

                   

Yeah, yeah sorry



   

                   

Well he goes back to the

psychiatrist office



   

                   

What the horse does?



   

                   

No, no the dwarf, he's got another

session right and just as he's leaving the office:...



   

                   

Another murder!



   

                   

How did you know that?



   

                   

l'm good at these things. Don't tell

me it was the lawyers wife



   

                   

No, no it was the horse



   

                   

What the horse did the murder,

murdered the lawyers wife?



   

                   

Not the fucking lawyers wife, the

horse, the horse was the victim right



   

                   

lt was the horse that got

murdered



   

                   

What with an ice pick?



   

                   

Yeah that would be good, l like

that. Anyway listen



   

                   

What?



   

                   

What about this tall thin black

story?



   

                   

Ah. Well we got it wrong, the fella

did. Actually she's a nun in disguise



   

                   

What kind of nun?



   

                   

A sister of mercy, you know those

that wear the big white bonnets



   

                   

Aye, with the big thingies on it.

She doesn't wear this the whole time though?



   

                   

Well she can't can she cos she's on

the game



   

                   

Look a bit funny wouldn't it? And

spoil the point of the exercise



   

                   

How?



   

                   

She wouldn't be in disguise then

would she?



   

                   

Well that's nuns for you



   

                   

Can you tell them George is here

please



   

                   

There's a mister George down here



   

                   

Yeah that's ok, all right



   

                   

Hi George



   

                   

Hello Denny



   

                   

How's the misses?



   

                   

Don't see her Denny



   

                   

Ah, the kid then



   

                   

She's fine, she's fine



   

                   

lt's my birthday today, you know

that? My fucking birthday



   

                   

Well happy birthday



   

                   

Thank you very much George,

through here



   

                   

Aren't you going to ask me what

age?



   

                   

What age are you?



   

                   

Fifty two George, and you?



   

                   

Well its not my birthday is it?



   

                   

No its not your birthday is it? You

know what l think?



   

                   

What do you think?



   

                   

l think that you think that l left

you in the shit



   

                   

Well you did didn't ya? Kind of



   

                   

Have a drink anyway George, life

goes on happening



   

                   

We can't control it, we can only

swim in it



   

                   

So what happens when you can't

swim?



   

                   

You get water on the brain George



   

                   

But that can't be good Denny...



   

                   

And you know what happens then

George?



   

                   

What happens?



   

                   

You get confused and always with

the little things, you know the little things



   

                   

What little things?



   

                   

Do you or do you not get confused?



   

                   

Yeah, l get confused



   

                   

You still get confused?



   

                   

Yes, l get confused



   

                   

Great, great, well at least now

you know. You do know it don't you George?



   

                   

Alright now l know



   

                   

Well that's something, because do

you know what l'm good at George?



   

                   

What?



   

                   

l'm good at the little things, the

little things that mean everything



   

                   

lt seems that you forget George



   

                   

l've got a family of me own now

and its all perfectly legal



   

                   

And it's all through the little

things and you are part of that family George



   

                   

One of my favourite parts



   

                   

l'm glad Denny



   

                   

l'm happy that you are glad

George, want another drink?



   

                   

No, so what's it all about, what

am l doing here?



   

                   

You're being happy that's what its

all about



   

                   

You come out, l wasn't here, now

l'm here. l want you to know that l know that



   

                   

That girl, see's the Arab



   

                   

Every night



   

                   

You ask her what she does



   

                   

What d'ya mean what she does?



   

                   

l mean what she does, what he

pays her for?



   

                   

Why me?



   

                   

Because you drive her George, you

should notice these things



   

                   

The little things. The business is

different but the rules are still the same



   

                   

l mean l can't ask her that



   

                   

She tells you truthfully mind,

that's important



   

                   

You tell me and l'll be happy

George



   

                   

You didn't like me did you?



   

                   

Well



   

                   

Don't, don't worry, everyone hates

me once in a while



   

                   

But its important to me George

that you're happy



   

                   

Well, l'm happy



   

                   

Good, good



   

                   

You'd better go now



   

                   

You pick me up again?



   

                   

Your mum wouldn't like it



   

                   

Well we can keep a secret then or

something, alright



   

                   

Promise?



   

                   

May be



   

                   

Can you do tricks



   

                   

What kind'da tricks?



   

                   

l don't know, any sort of tricks,

dad's are meant to do tricks aren't they?



   

                   

How about that?



   

                   

That's a good trick, see you later

Dad



   

                   

Ta ra



   

                   

Bye



   

                   

Do you wanna do it in the road or

what?



   

                   

You're out early



   

                   

l do the rush hour



   

                   

You, you told him didn't you



   

                   

Told him what?



   

                   

You know what, you told him l was

no fucking good that's what, bastard



   

                   

Oi, oi come here



   

                   

Fuck off



   

                   

But l didn't tell him, why should l,

honestly



   

                   

l said fuck off



   

                   

Come here, listen come here, come

here



   

                   

Get off me will you, get off me



   

                   

You silly cow, you'll get us both

nicked



   

                   

What do you want? please



   

                   

Shut up



   

                   

What did he do?



   

                   

What do you think he fucking did?

he beat me up and he took all my stuff



   

                   

And you told him didn't you, you

fucking told him



   

                   

l told him l was happy that's all, l

promise you



   

                   

Look come on girl l'll buy you a

cup of tea hey



   

                   

No, get me an ice cream



   

                   

Yeah, yeah all right



   

                   

What do you want?



   

                   

Eh, Knicker-Bocker Glory



   

                   

And a tea



   

                   

Coming up



   

                   

Used to eat them all the time

when l was first down here



   

                   

Thought l was pregnant



   

                   

Was ya?



   

                   

You kiddin



   

                   

How old are you?



   

                   

Seventeen



   

                   

You're not are ya?



   

                   

Well, what am l then?



   

                   

You're fifteen ain't ya?



   

                   

OK l'm fifteen



   

                   

Jesus Christ



   

                   

And a half



   

                   

Where did you get that?



   

                   

From a man like you. So what do

you want then?



   

                   

l just wanna talk



   

                   

You mean talk dirty?



   

                   

No, l just wanna talk



   

                   

Well how did you know where to

find me?



   

                   

l didn't know where to find you



   

                   

l wasn't looking for you l was

looking for somebody else



   

                   

Well that's not very nice is it, so l

wasn't any good the other night then



   

                   

You were wond... ah shit. Look l'm

looking for a young girl just like you



   

                   

Whose called Cathy, just like you



   

                   

Yeah but my names May



   

                   

You told me your name was Cathy



   

                   

Yeah well l say whatever you want

me to don't l



   

                   

Look stop doing that will ya. What

were you doing there?



   

                   

What do you think l was doing? l'm

a working woman aren't l



   

                   

l can't live on fresh air. You going

to pay me?



   

                   

Shut up. l only wanna talk



   

                   

Yeah well it all adds up doesn't it



   

                   

l mean its my valuable time you're

taking up, it costs



   

                   

All right, all right, l'll pay ya



   

                   

You sure you didn't tell him?



   

                   

Cross my heart



   

                   

l believe you. Here's my ice cream



   

                   

lt's one thirty five please. Thank

you very much



   

                   

Ta



   

                   

What you doing? Where you going?

You haven't finished your ice cream



   

                   

Get out of that car you silly cow,

you wanna get yourself beaten up again



   

                   

What do you do with him?



   

                   

With who?



   

                   

Harry Mentabnab your Arab



   

                   

Drink tea



   

                   

Don't laugh



   

                   

What is this George?



   

                   

l've been asked to find out



   

                   

Who asked you?



   

                   

Your boss



   

                   

l don't have a boss



   

                   

Yes you do, he's my boss too,

Mortwell



   

                   

Well tell him l drink tea



   

                   

Master wished you to have them

sir



   

                   

For the man



   

                   

Yeah take them through there, out

the back



   

                   

How many you got here any idea?



   

                   

No, no, l've no idea



   

                   

What's that, you interested in that

one?



   

                   

How much?



   

                   

Nah take it. Your family aren't ya



   

                   

Yeah, suppose l am



   

                   

Can l get out this way?



   

                   

Yeah just round the back



   

                   

Cheers



   

                   

Hello



   

                   

What d'ya get?



   

                   

Nothing



   

                   

Nothing?



   

                   

Yeah nothing



   

                   

What do you mean nothing?



   

                   

l mean nothing Denny the opposite

of something. They drink tea



   

                   

She's lying



   

                   

Why would she lie?



   

                   

l don't know you find out



   

                   

How am l going to find out?



   

                   

Well take a picture, climb a

drainpipe, find out



   

                   

l've got a picture



   

                   

You trying to be funny George?



   

                   

l told you Denny she drinks tea



   

                   

You are funny Georgie



   

                   

Suppose l am yeah



   

                   

Get something better



   

                   

Well how do you mean, better?



   

                   

l mean nasty, slimey, kinky



   

                   

l don't wanna know anything about

tea, all right then George?



   

                   

All right



   

                   

What does Mortwell want?



   

                   

He wants to win friends and

influence people



   

                   

How does he do that?



   

                   

Through girls like me



   

                   

Can l come up, l've got something

to show ya



   

                   

What?



   

                   

l'll show you upstairs right



   

                   

l do deliveries when l'm not

poncing for you



   

                   

You are not poncing for me



   

                   

Well what is it then?



   

                   

What kind of deliveries?



   

                   

That kind



   

                   

Turn it off, fuck you, you bastard



   

                   

Who is it?



   

                   

What does it matter who it is? lts

me and a piece of meat



   

                   

Just tell me his name



   

                   

Anderson



   

                   

That's Anderson, Jesus, why am l

doing this?



   

                   

Cos l asked you



   

                   

No, no, no



   

                   

Because you like me, you fancy me



   

                   

but having me is nothing George

any prick can have me



   

                   

Shut up



   

                   

l'm screwed by old men so fat l

have to lift myself onto them



   

                   

Don't hit me George, nobody hits

me, they can have me but they can't hit me



   

                   

That fucker did, every day, every

hour



   

                   

every day whenever they had a

spare minute



   

                   

l'm sorry, you don't understand do

you?



   

                   

No, l don't understand, what don't l

understand?



   

                   

There are people out there who

like this kind of thing



   

                   

and pay him to get it for them



   

                   

lf he has Cathy anyone can have

her, for what ever they want



   

                   

Thought that was the idea



   

                   

l mean anyone. Any sadistic

bastard who likes little girls George



   

                   

Channel   is it? Couldn't finish

the book and you're watching this crap



   

                   

You used to be my hero George

what's happening?



   

                   

Your hero?



   

                   

Aye, well



   

                   

Can you get your hero a gun

Thomas?



   

                   

What for?



   

                   

Remember the horse that was

murdered?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

l did it and the lawyers wife was

very upset



   

                   

You're not joking are you?



   

                   

When did l ever joke?



   

                   

You used to tell that one about the

randy gorilla



   

                   

Yeah but no one ever laughed

though did they?



   

                   

lt's the way you tell them



   

                   

You a member?



   

                   

No



   

                   

Three twenty please



   

                   

Very good for stress you know.

Very relaxing



   

                   

So this woman says to her

husband, she says l'm leaving you



   

                   

He says, oh please darling don't

leave me, l'll buy you a mink coat



   

                   

She says l don't want one l'm

leaving you



   

                   

He says, please don't leave me, he

says, l'll buy you a diamond necklace



   

                   

She says, l don't want one, he says



   

                   

l'll buy you a villa in the South of

France



   

                   

She says l don't want one, he says

well what do you want. She says l wanna divorce



   

                   

He says, l wasn't thinking of

spending that kind of money. Ha, ha, ha, ha



   

                   

He wants the blonde kid, can you

get her again?



   

                   

Sure



   

                   

Take her to my place



   

                   

Where?



   

                   

Number   around     O'clock



   

                   

Shit. Come on move



   

                   

Do you wanna put that cigarette

out?



   

                   

Why?



   

                   

You're in a church



   

                   

You a priest?



   

                   

What's your name?



   

                   

Mary



   

                   

ls that better? What's your name

father?



   

                   

George



   

                   

Father George



   

                   

Yes who is this?



   

                   

Simone. Jesus Christ



   

                   

You bloody fool you



   

                   

Shut up you fucking pervert



   

                   

This is a private room



   

                   

What the bleedin' hells going on

here?



   

                   

Get out George. Get out. Give him

his glasses



   

                   

What do you mean get out he's tied

you to the bleeding bed



   

                   

You said you were respectable



   

                   

l am fucking respectable



   

                   

You bloody bitch you



   

                   

You watch your fucking language



   

                   

George! George!



   

                   

What's the matter with you?



   

                   

Stop it, George, George, George!



   

                   

What the bleedin, hell is this? Do

this all the time do you?



   

                   

What made you come here,

curiosity?



   

                   

l've found her



   

                   

Where?



   

                   

Put your clothes on, make yourself

respectable



   

                   

Where is she?



   

                   

She's with your mate



   

                   

Just a minute, just a minute, what

the hell's going on here?



   

                   

Get off



   

                   

Don't you touch me



   

                   

l know you two



   

                   

Don't keep touching me



   

                   

l just want to look in your bag and

see what you've got in there



   

                   

Alright Alright



   

                   

Ow, Jesus



   

                   

Get out of here



   

                   

Call the police. Get after that

black...



   

                   

Jesus what was that?



   

                   

Mace



   

                   

What?



   

                   

Mace



   

                   

Christ you don't need anybody do

ya?



   

                   

l do, l need you. So where is she?



   

                   

She's with your friend Anderson



   

                   

You've seen her?



   

                   

ln a church. What did he meet her

in a Church for?



   

                   

lt's the one place no one ever goes



   

                   

So where do you wanna go?



   

                   

Home



   

                   

lt's alright l'm here



   

                   

You rushing off?



   

                   

Where am l going to rush to?



   

                   

Come on up then



   

                   

Haven't you someone to rush to?



   

                   

You know l haven't



   

                   

Everyone should have



   

                   

But you haven't



   

                   

l'm different



   

                   

But how, how are you different?



   

                   

l'm the girl they rush home from



   

                   

Simone



   

                   

Simone get back...



   

                   

He cut my fucking arm off



   

                   

Ahhhhh Leave me alone



   

                   

Sshhh. Press the button



   

                   

Are you all right?



   

                   

Yeah, Jesus you know some nice

people



   

                   

He knows where l live George, he

knows where l live



   

                   

Calm down, get your keys out,

here do us a favour scratch my nose



   

                   

You good at this too?



   

                   

Mmmm. Good at most things



   

                   

Do you think he'll be back?



   

                   

Don't want to think about it



   

                   

You'd better come and stay with

me



   

                   

Where is this?



   

                   

My friend Thomas's place, he likes

detective stories



   

                   

Don't ya Thomas, eh. Don't worry

the dwarf did it again



   

                   

What dwarf?



   

                   

There's a dwarf whose been

murdering opera singers, why don't you tell her



   

                   

Aye, that's right, this dwarf's

been bumping off...



   

                   

Oh sorry l haven't introduced ya.

Thomas this is Simone



   

                   

How do you do Simone?



   

                   

Pleased to meet you Thomas



   

                   

Oh excuse the hands eh



   

                   

Sorry about the mess, l've been

moving around carburettors. Have a seat



   

                   

Didn't you like that?



   

                   

No you didn't did you?



   

                   

You're the priest



   

                   

That's right, Father George



   

                   

Well you weren't meant to



   

                   

Where's your clothes?



   

                   

Why are you here?



   

                   

Simone sent me, remember

Simone, now come on



   

                   

What did you do to her eh, what

did you do to her?



   

                   

Nothing



   

                   

Don't worry sir, l'll take care of it

for you



   

                   

Do you know any other songs?



   

                   

Want a cup of tea? Come on, come

on



   

                   

You like ice cream?



   

                   

lt's the only thing l can eat



   

                   

What do you mean?



   

                   

Well you know



   

                   

No l don't know



   

                   

Well l can't take food anymore,

real food



   

                   

Well what can you take?



   

                   

You don't know anything do you?



   

                   

No, no l don't know anything



   

                   

l don't mean to be rude, l like you



   

                   

Oh, l'm glad



   

                   

Do you like me?



   

                   

l don't know you do l?



   

                   

She likes me



   

                   

She really likes me



   

                   

l'll wait out here all right



   

                   

Thanks George



   

                   

You like her don't you?



   

                   

Yeah



   

                   

Do you?



   

                   

l don't know her do l. Lets face it

you're not a very good bet though are ya George?



   

                   

No



   

                   

So what was the story then?



   

                   

Complicated



   

                   

More complicated than the story

about the horse?



   

                   

Much more



   

                   

l'd better be getting back then,

what d'ya think?



    

                   

Yeah, yeah



    

                   

You going to be all right then eh?



    

                   

Yeah, yeah



    

                   

Where is she?



    

                   

 ver Here



    

                   

Who's he then?



    

                   

He's a friend of mine



    

                   

He's the ice cream man, Mr

Whippy, left your van outside have you?



    

                   

What's the matter with her?



    

                   

Do me a favour would you, get this

from the chemist



    

                   

Listen you'd better have this.

Here, you never know do ya?



    

                   

Thanks George



    

                   

Brought the ice cream?



    

                   

She asleep?



    

                   

Yes



    

                   

Like babes in the wood



    

                   

l like the seaside; l've always

liked the seaside. Do you like the seaside?



    

                   

Come for a walk on the pier



    

                   

Did you used to do this walk?



    

                   

Everyday



    

                   

With your gentlemen?



    

                   

Sometimes



    

                   

Come on then, show me the sights

eh



    

                   

Did you dance with them? Eh did

you waltz? Did you tango?



    

                   

Come on l'll buy you a present.

Lets have a party shall we? err mate, ha, ha, ha



    

                   

Come here, eh. Come here



    

                   

What do you think eh?



    

                   

Here. Beautiful, cover those

fucking eyes eh Told you l was cheap didn't l?



    

                   

Seven years away l could do with

a tan. Come here



    

                   

Leave me



    

                   

You've got a tan, where did you get

your tan? Can't l have a tan?



    

                   

What's wrong with me?



    

                   

What's the matter, am l too old

for you? Am l too cheap?



    

                   

Hey, you know, come on, just show

me the sights



    

                   

You know, give me some Brighton

rock



    

                   

That's all l want, we're on holiday

ain't we



    

                   

We're meant to have fun, like men

and women do



    

                   

They have fun, they walk arm in

arm you know



    

                   

Cos they love each other and they

get married



    

                   

so they can love each other more

and have a little baby, only a little one



    

                   

And have fights with the fucking

mother in law



    

                   

You know the way it is, between

men and fucking women eh?



    

                   

Come on say something, anything,

say it



    

                   

l'm sorry, l can't



    

                   

l'm worried, so are you going to

tell me?



    

                   

Tell you what?



    

                   

As my friend Thomas would say,

the whole story



    

                   

You like her don't ya?



    

                   

Of course l like her



    

                   

Yeah but you like her in a special

way, in the songs



    

                   

What songs?



    

                   

Well l've sold myself for a couple

of dykes



    

                   

She needs me George



    

                   

And you needed me to get her



    

                   

You ever need someone?



    

                   

All the time



    

                   

George!!! George!!!



    

                   

You bloody fool George, you bloody

fool



    

                   

Can't you leave it Denny?



    

                   

No George, l can't leave it at all,

can l lovey?



    

                   

Look at this tart. What you do it

for George?



    

                   

l mean look at her. lts all right l'm

not going to hurt ya



    

                   

your pimp will do that for me



    

                   

See l'm giving them both back to

you, the two of them



    

                   

Ahh don't touch me



    

                   

She's got a gun George



    

                   

She's blown my fucking toes off.

George



    

                   

lt hurts doesn't it?



    

                   

George!!



    

                   

lt really fucking hurts



    

                   

Simone!!!!!



    

                   

Come on then, come on then



    

                   

l would hurt you too



    

                   

Fucking Cow, You fucking cow. You

would have done it wouldn't ya?



    

                   

You would have done it. l'm just

another fucking punter to you



    

                   

She was trapped, from the first

time he met her, she was trapped



    

                   

Like a bird in a cage



    

                   

But he couldn't see it, well he

liked her too much



    

                   

No he was the sort who couldn't

see in front of his face and there she was in pain



    

                   

Ah well when you are soppy about

someone, well



    

                   

you can't see things like that can

ya? and there he was soppy sod



    

                   

Oh she had faith in him, she

believed in him and he had a lot of hope for her



    

                   

And then there was love, yeah,

yeah she was in love all right



    

                   

She really was. But not with him,

ha, ha and that's the story



    

                   

That's the whole story?



    

                   

Well almost



    

                   

Hello Dad



    

                   

Coming. Hello



    

                   

How are ya?



    

                   

You're looking well







  

  

 
Special help by SergeiK