My Name Is Joe Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the My Name Is Joe script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Peter Mullan movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of My Name Is Joe. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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My Name Is Joe Script


  

  

 

                   

[Joe, scottish accent]

It was Shanks here that, er,



 

                   

managed to drag me

to my first AA meeting.



 

                   

And I sat there,

not a happy chappie,



 

                   

I wanted out of that place.



 

                   

There was this guy

with scars on his face.



 

                   

A mean-Iooking bastard.



 

                   

He started by telling us how he

stabbed a postman and got life.



 

                   

All the time he was talking



 

                   

I just looked at this guy -



  

                   

looked at Shanks and thought,

"So that's an alcoholic?"



  

                   

This guy had done

   years in the jail,



  

                   

then they put him in a hostel.

No support, nothing.



  

                   

He takes to the booze,

the booze leads to jail.



  

                   

Jail to hostel,

hostel to booze, booze to jail.



  

                   

This bastard's on his

fucking choo-choo train,



  

                   

through the gutters.



  

                   

Did I give a monkey's?

Did I fuck.



  

                   

I sat there,

with a grin on my face



  

                   

looking at Shanks like,

"So that's an alcoholic?"



  

                   

And his life got even worse.



  

                   

Ends up on the street, gangrene,



  

                   

arse hanging

out of his trousers,



  

                   

sleeping in his vomit.



  

                   

Utter misery

and I did not give a toss,



  

                   

because I shook hands

with these unfortunates.



  

                   

When I walked out, I thought



  

                   

"My name is Joe...



  

                   

"and thank fuck

I'm not an alcoholic."



  

                   

Five year later,



  

                   

my second meeting,



  

                   

Shanks, once again,

dragged me to it.



  

                   

Five very, very long,

miserable years.



  

                   

I'm there...

because I couldn't say...



  

                   

I couldn't take

the "not" out of that sentence.



  

                   

Couldn't say nine simple words.



  

                   

"My name is Joe

and I'm an alcoholic."



  

                   

There was a wee woman there,



  

                   

tiny, tiny wee frail woman



  

                   

who whispered everything.



  

                   

And she said

something so simple.



  

                   

She says, "I can

no longer drink with safety".



  

                   

That really touched me,



  

                   

even in the state I was in.



  

                   

She looked at me and said,

"Remember, you are not alone".



  

                   

I looked at this wee woman

and thought..."You're me".



  

                   

She gave me the courage

to start the    steps,



  

                   

with Shanks there.



  

                   

I'm no' stupid.



  

                   

I know I've got

a long way to go.



  

                   

And I pray.



  

                   

I hope to Christ

I get through it.



  

                   

There can be all

sorts around the corner.



  

                   

But I'm really glad to be here.



  

                   

I'm very grateful to be sober.



  

                   

Thank you.



  

                   

Open up! Police! Nobody move!



  

                   

We've got you surrounded!



  

                   

- Move!

- Fucking run!



  

                   

[Joe] Why don't you

run like that on the pitch?



  

                   

- Joe!

- You're such a fucking arse!



  

                   

[Shouting continues]



  

                   

Move! We're late!



  

                   

- Fucking done my leg!

- Best that could happen to you.



  

                   

Fucking out of order.



  

                   

Could've said I was the Social.

Scrag, come on.



  

                   

- Oh, fuck's sake, man.

- Come on, move.



  

                   

Look at the state of these!



  

                   

Oh, for fuck's sake!



  

                   

Look at the state of that!



  

                   

[Hooligan] Beckenbauer

wouldn't be seen dead



  

                   

in something like that!



  

                   

Who's had to do the strips?



  

                   

- Hooligan!

- Wasn't me! It was Doc!



  

                   

Fuck off! Zulu's ma

was meant to wash it!



  

                   

- Blame the guy's mum!

- She's not even in the team!



  

                   

[Banter continues]



  

                   

- There he is!

- Fucking Zulu!



  

                   

- Just keep going, Joe!

- Just fucking leave him, man!



  

                   

[Jeering]



  

                   

Bastard! Look at my shirt!

You were supposed to wash these!



  

                   

Bye-bye, Zulu!



  

                   

Where's Sepp Maier?



  

                   

Sepp Maier's cashing his giro,

Joe. Says he'd meet us there. >



  

                   

- Where's Liam?

- At the bookies.



  

                   

Fuck's sake!



  

                   

Thanks for turning up, mate. >



  

                   

Great that youse nearly

made it in time. >



  

                   

Jesus, you're pissed.

Where are they?



  

                   

Hey, Robbo, how are you?

Get the fuck out, move it!



  

                   

[Car horn]



  

                   

All right, Perfume. Couple

of youse wanna come in here?



  

                   

Mojo, what's with the shades?

Expecting the sun to come out?



  

                   

Something I said?



  

                   

Your taste in music, mate.

It's shite!



  

                   

- Get in there!

- Let's go, man.



  

                   

- How you doing?

- Get in.



  

                   

- Where's Liam?

- Don't know, mate.



  

                   

Where's Liam? Where's Liam?



  

                   

You said he was at the bookies.



   

                   

Hey, hey. Where's the strips?



   

                   

- The strips?

- Yes, the strips.



   

                   

In the pipeline. Guaranteed.



   

                   

I'll give you "pipeline".

Go on, in there.



   

                   

- Christ Almighty!

- Jesus Christ!



   

                   

- What the fuck was that?

- Are you all right?



   

                   

- You all right back there?

- Fucking bitch!



   

                   

- Fucking cow!

- The ironing board is wounded.



   

                   

- I've worked hard for this.

- Look who it is, lads!



   

                   

There's the woman

that tried to kill us all.



   

                   

[Jeering]



   

                   

Dropped her wallpaper...

Oh, poor sweetheart.



   

                   

[Shanks] You sort it out, Joe!

A bit of diplomacy.



   

                   

All right, Liam?



   

                   

All right, Joe.

Here's your Uncle Joe.



   

                   

- You want a hand?

- Thanks a lot.



   

                   

Did you lose a dog back there?



   

                   

- What dog?

- Your guide dog.



   

                   

Don't need a guide dog.



   

                   

You need a white stick

and a radar.



   

                   

You nearly wasted    

million pound of talent.



   

                   

[Woman] You're right,

I need a guide dog.



   

                   

- Come on, move it!

- Just stay where you are.



   

                   

- Move it, Liam.

- Don't you dare. Listen,



   

                   

- did you wanna... Is Sabine in?

- Is she upstairs? We'll go in.



   

                   

Can you take Scott to his Ma?



   

                   

- I'm gonna see Liam as well.

- What?



   

                   

- I've got to see Liam.

- You're in the van.



   

                   

- He's not going anywhere.

- He's going in the van.



   

                   

- He's not going.

- It's an important game.



   

                   

I've got to see Liam

and Sabine with Scott.



   

                   

We have to make appointments

to see you, right?



   

                   

Why don't you

make one to see us?



   

                   

- I'm a health visitor!

- Not a driving instructor?



   

                   

- Very funny.

- Listen, listen -



   

                   

seriously, seriously.



   

                   

It's really important. They

may throw us out of the League.



   

                   

- It's that serious.

- Not that serious. Liam!



   

                   

Aye, that serious.



   

                   

Don't take this too personal,



   

                   

but you think the sun

shines out of your arse.



   

                   

I know it's just football.

But it's important to us.



   

                   

Now, Liam, make

an appointment with her.



   

                   

- Aye.

- Stick to it, OK?



   

                   

Yeah? OK? Don't mess

this lassie about.



   

                   

- Don't call me a lassie.

- Excuse me, Mrs Magoo.



   

                   

See you later, Scott.



   

                   

[Joe] Right, in the van!



   

                   

[Scott sings to himself]



   

                   

[Joe] Mojo! Ty! Scrag!



   

                   

Mojo! Ty! Scrag! Up here!



   

                   

Come on! Gather round!



   

                   

Remember how

these bastards beat us?



   

                   

'Cause we didn't keep our shape

and we played like woosies.



   

                   

This time really get in amongst

them, don't give them any time.



   

                   

As soon as somebody gets

the ball, close him down.



   

                   

Right? Keep your

shape all the time, man.



   

                   

Keep that passing game going.



   

                   

- We've gotta start to...

- Clock this mob!



   

                   

[Player] Wearing

the same strip as us!



   

                   

[General uproar]



   

                   

Get...to...fuck!



   

                   

[Joe] Oh, referee!

How come nobody told us this?



   

                   

[Joe] Referee! We're always...

We're always West Germany!



   

                   

You lot couldn't

organise a bloody picnic!



   

                   

- What?

- Who's the away team?



   

                   

- We're the away team!

- You're the away team?



   

                   

[Joe] Hey, Mojo!

Get fucking back here!



   

                   

We've been

West Germany since day one!



   

                   

They wear red and black!



   

                   

- We've always worn this strip!

- We've got names on the shirts!



   

                   

If you're the away team,

get the shirts off!



   

                   

[Liam] It's fucking freezing!



   

                   

[Robbo] They play

in red and black!



   

                   

The rules of the game

say the home team...



   

                   

All right,

we'll get our shirts off.



   

                   

- Just take the shirts off.

- Right, get the shirts off.



   

                   

[General arguing]



   

                   

I've been Franz Beckenbauer

for years by the way!



   

                   

If you're Franz Beckenbauer,

I'm a tooth fairy!



   

                   

Just get the strip off, Franz.



   

                   

- Loverman, eh?

- I love your tattoo by the way.



   

                   

[Referee whistles]



   

                   

[Joe] Come on, lads!



   

                   

[Joe] They'll know who you are.



   

                   

[Shanks] Come on, men!



   

                   

Come on "The Wanderers"!



   

                   

Pass it!



   

                   

Referee, for fuck's sake!



   

                   

Do something about this cunt!



   

                   

What's the matter?



   

                   

He's fucking

pulling my shorts off!



   

                   

Jesus! Mojo, it doesn't matter

if he's pulling your tadger!



   

                   

Get on with it!



   

                   

[Cheering]



   

                   

- For Christ's sake!

- That's an example! Look!



   

                   

- What? He gets the ball...

- No, no! The point is...



   

                   

..we didn't even cross the line!



   

                   

We never got in our half!



   

                   

- The duck might fall in itself'.

- Yeah.



   

                   

- The cow might fall in itself'.

- What does a cow say?



   

                   

- Moo.

- Moo. Oh, too big.



   

                   

- Donkey might fall in itself'.

- That's it.



   

                   

That's a good boy. >



   

                   

Good. >



   

                   

- That's smashing.

- Oh, it's gonna fall!



   

                   

Scott, can you

do something else for me?



   

                   

I'll take this away.



   

                   

Could you draw me

a lovely picture?



   

                   

I'll talk to Mummy.



   

                   

Sabine, this is just

a pre-school check-up.



   

                   

- Right.

- He's had all his jags?



   

                   

The next is

his pre-school booster.



   

                   

OK? But you'll get

a card through for that.



   

                   

Just go down the clinic.



   

                   

Em... Oh, yeah, has his

testicles dropped OK?



   

                   

What do you mean?



   

                   

Um...are his wee balls

hanging down all right?



   

                   

I think so. I don't know.



   

                   

[Scott shouts]



   

                   

That's wonderful!

That's brilliant!



   

                   

He's gonna do well

at school, eh?



   

                   

[Scott] Oh, I've got ink!



   

                   

Ehh...



   

                   

- Liam reads to him every night.

- Does he?



   

                   

Joe bought him

a couple of books...



   

                   

hardly he never misses.



   

                   

He gets bored with the pictures,

so Liam makes up stories.



   

                   

It's daft, it's about

a man with a long nose.



   

                   

- That's good.

- He loves it, it's funny.



   

                   

That's great, that's fantastic.



   

                   

It's me that lets him down.



   

                   

It is.



   

                   

It's always me.



   

                   

Oh, well... OK.



   

                   

He's doing great.

Brilliant, no worries.



   

                   

[Sabine] Have you got kids?



   

                   

Hundreds...



   

                   

Hundreds and hundreds.



   

                   

[Liam] I feel as if I went

five rounds with Mike Tyson.



   

                   

Listen, three months ago you

wouldn't have made half-time.



   

                   

Talk to me. What's up?



   

                   

Talk to Uncle Joe.



   

                   

- I don't know, Joe.

- What?



   

                   

I don't think I can cope...



   

                   

- ..with Sabine and that.

- You've got to hang on there.



   

                   

- One day at a time.

- I know.



   

                   

Just keep the faith.



   

                   

Want to go back to

being some junkie bastard?



   

                   

It's getting

fucking harder though.



   

                   

[Joe] I know.



   

                   

- Hold on a minute.

- What?



   

                   

Pull in, stop here.

Stop. Pull in, eh?



   

                   

- Fuck, it's McGowan's boys!

- What?



   

                   

- I'll give you handers.

- No, stay there.



   

                   

I'll need a witness

more than handers.



   

                   

Please, trust me on this!



   

                   

Hey, you want a hand?



   

                   

We've got tae stop

meeting like this.



   

                   

Haven't you got a home?



   

                   

- Should be in goals for us.

- Very funny.



   

                   

Can I ask you

a personal question?



   

                   

How long have you been running

about with this wallpaper?



   

                   

- A couple of days.

- Excuse me?



   

                   

- Two weeks. Is this a survey?

- Yeah.



   

                   

Give you my phone number

and I'll do it in one week-end.



   

                   

Millstone off

from around your neck.



   

                   

- What do you say?

- What are you talking about?



   

                   

You're running about

with this stress,



   

                   

I'm going insane doing bugger

all. I'll decorate your place.



   

                   

- What a chancer.

- Name's Joe.



   

                   

- Run the wee football team.

- Sarah. Sun shines out my arse.



   

                   

So I heard.



   

                   

[Joe] Stuart...

Stuartville Street...



   

                   

- I'll get the address out.

- What are we looking for?



   

                   

We're looking for...

Sorry, guys.



   

                   

Er... We're looking

for    White Street.



   

                   

- [Shanks] So it's forty bucks.

- Yeah, twenty pound a head.



   

                   

Won't argue about the money.



   

                   

I've never hung wallpaper, so

I won't quibble about the dough.



   

                   

- My arse.

- I'm serious.



   

                   

I've never hung

wallpaper in my life.



   

                   

- Are you winding me up?

- No, I'm not.



   

                   

You'd better. What do you mean

you've never hung wallpaper?



   

                   

Seriously.



   

                   

But you were

in the building trade.



   

                   

That was... I did the heavy

stuff till I knackered my back.



   

                   

It's all about specialisation.

You do the paper and I'll paste.



   

                   

My arse. I'll do the pasting,

you the papering.



   

                   

- I hope it's no' the ceiling.

- If it is, we're fucked.



   

                   

[Joe] Shanks!



   

                   

[Shanks] I've been

in the game a while.



   

                   

In my experience,

it's not a good idea



   

                   

- putting paper on the ceiling.

- No.



   

                   

- Not in these old houses.

- No.



   

                   

I thought if we put the lining

paper up to cover the cracks,



   

                   

- and paint over it.

- Sounds OK in theory, but no.



   

                   

- It should be OK.

- Who's upstairs?



   

                   

A couple of students.



   

                   

- Students?

- Nah, it's not so good.



   

                   

Bad news, bad news.



   

                   

You're talking about parties

and stuff. A lot of vibration.



   

                   

A lot of people don't realise

how delicate these ceilings are.



   

                   

- There's mines round here.

- And the continuous settlement.



   

                   

You look...from the

window to the door there...



   

                   

That's a big slope.



   

                   

I'd give it...three months,

before the wallpaper comes down.



   

                   

[Shanks] If that.

[Joe] If that, you know.



   

                   

There'd be nae point,

to be honest.



   

                   

- It's all right with us.

- We can do it.



   

                   

He's been in the game ten years,

he's wallpapered many ceilings.



   

                   

It's no problem putting the

paper up, but to be honest...



   

                   

..we in the trade

call it a bristle number.



   

                   

Totally. It's a paint job.



   

                   

- It's definitely rustic.

- OK.



   

                   

OK, you're the experts.



   

                   

That's good. Right.



   

                   

- I'll leave you to it, OK?

- All right, see you.



   

                   

Rustic?



   

                   

[Shanks and Joe singing]

Driving across the country



   

                   

And getting fat



   

                   

Saying everything is groovy



   

                   

While your tyres are flat

And it's



   

                   

Hi ho silver lining



   

                   

And away you go

Now baby



   

                   

[Sarah laughs]



   

                   

< Would you like a cup of tea?



   

                   

Would you like a cup of tea?



   

                   

- Aye, that's great.

- I'll just put it down here.



   

                   

- Great.

- Excellent... Biscuits.



   

                   

- [Joe] Are the biscuits ours?

- Yeah.



   

                   

[Joe] Nice one.

[Shanks] Cheers.



   

                   

Get a Health and Safety

officer down here.



   

                   

Joe. JOE!



   

                   

[Humming to himself]



   

                   

- That cunt's from the Social.

- No.



   

                   

The cunt's from

the fucking Social.



   

                   

What is it?



   

                   

What's going on?



   

                   

< Oh, he's...he's running

like fuck.



   

                   

What is it?



   

                   

A guy from the Social

taking pictures.



   

                   

Oh...nightmare.



   

                   

Give us the fucking camera!



   

                   

- JOE!

- What's he gonna do?



   

                   

Give me the camera!

Give me the fucking camera!



   

                   

[Inspector] What are you doing?

Stop that! That's enough!



   

                   

- Give me the camera!

- That's enough!



   

                   

That's Government property.



   

                   

Government property? I'll

give you Government property.



   

                   

Look, it's just my job.



   

                   

Do you goose-step

as well? You scum fuck!



   

                   

- OK. Hey, I'm calm.

- Look.



   

                   

- I'm no' gonna hurt you.

- I don't believe you.



   

                   

- I've got a bad heart.

- You've got a bad heart?



   

                   

I do first aid. I'll give you

a fucking heart massage!



   

                   

I'm gonna tell everybody

what you are, you fuck!



   

                   

[Inspector] What are you

doing to my car?



   

                   

That's Government property!



   

                   

You're a nutter!



   

                   

Christ! He hit him with a brush!

That's fucking assault!



   

                   

[Inspector] I'm gonna

report you!



   

                   

Christ!



   

                   

Shit.



   

                   

Somebody must

have stuck you in.



   

                   

Who's gonna do that?



   

                   

It's sad, but there's

always some dirty bastard



   

                   

willing to do their bit.



   

                   

- I don't think so.

- That or he followed you.



   

                   

For twenty quid?



   

                   

You'll have to

do something, Joe.



   

                   

They're gonna have you in court.



   

                   

Or cut your dole money.



   

                   

[Joe] You're not

telling me something new.



   

                   

All right? I know that.



   

                   

- All right. It was funny...

- Well, it's not funny now.



   

                   

- How are youse getting on?

- Fine. Nearly there.



   

                   

There's some pizza ready if...



   

                   

Not for me.

I'm on night shift. >



   

                   

He'll hang about. He can have

mine. You like pizza, don't you?



   

                   

No, you're all right, ta.



   

                   

- You're welcome.

- Thanks.



   

                   

He likes pizza,

he's just being shy.



   

                   

Youse two hang about.



   

                   

There you are.

What do you think of that? >



   

                   

[Sarah] Well,

the end's in sight.



   

                   

It was a split decision.



   

                   

He's not just a decorator.

You can actually park your bike.



   

                   

Fucking Yul Brynner with

the axe through his head.



   

                   

Gonna fucking pull up your

brecks? Excuse the language.



   

                   

- Sorry.

- Thanks.



   

                   

[Joe] You're...seriously

embarrassing the woman.



   

                   

Wouldn't have it put you

off your pizza or anything.



   

                   

- White Man, Hammersmith Palais.

- Clash.



   

                   

Hong Kong Garden.



   

                   

Er, Siouxsie and

the Banshees. Er...



   

                   

- ..Blockbuster.

- Sweet.



   

                   

- Um, 'Puppy Love'.

- Er, oh, Jesus, Donny Osmond.



   

                   

- Er, Girls... Girls?

- Girls?



   

                   

- Girls. Aye.

- As in girls, girls, girls?



   

                   

- As in... Aye, aye.

- Oh, oh. Hm, no.



   

                   

- Duran Duran.

- What?



   

                   

- Wasn't it?

- NO!



   

                   

[Laughter]



   

                   

Once I get past the   s,

I don't get it.



   

                   

Er, right. >



   

                   

'Stand By Your Man'.



   

                   

[Joe sings] Sometimes

it's hard to be a woman



   

                   

Giving all your love

to just one man



   

                   

You'll have good times...



   

                   

Er... Er... Ah....



   

                   

- Tammy Wynette! Tammy Wynette!

- No!



   

                   

- I got there!

- Bell went first!



   

                   

- I got that Tammy!

- Bell went first!



   

                   

I got Tammy

and you went 'bong'!



   

                   

- You can't sing!

- I can sing!



   

                   

[Telephone rings]



   

                   

- A bit harsh, "I can't sing".

- Don't you like that?



   

                   

Hello?



   

                   

[Sarah laughs]



   

                   

It's fine. It really

goes with the room.



   

                   

- This your da?

- Yeah. Yeah.



   

                   

- You wouldn't mess with him.

- [Sarah] He's a big man.



   

                   

- That your mum?

- Yeah. And me.



   

                   

Yeah, Jesus, the resemblance...



   

                   

- Are they still on the go?

- No, my dad died    months ago.



   

                   

My mum died

when I was a teenager.



   

                   

< Sorry to hear that.



   

                   

- Have you got any family?

- Me?



   

                   

No. Aye, aye!



   

                   

How could I forget?

Of course I've got a family.



   

                   

- Like to see a photograph?

- Yeah.



   

                   

Big family I've got.



   

                   

All boys.

There we are. Sunday best.



   

                   

My God. The Dream Team.



   

                   

- Very nice.

- Not quite house-trained yet.



   

                   

Oh, well. Cheers.



   

                   

I don't drink, Sarah.



   

                   

- Why didn't you say?

- I'm an alcoholic.



   

                   

Oh... How long

have you been off?



   

                   

About    months, nearly a year.



   

                   

- Have you had any help?

- I'm in the AA.



   

                   

- Right.

- It's good.



   

                   

Long way to go.



   

                   

- I'm too nosey, aren't I?

- No, it's all right. It's good.



   

                   

It's fine. I like it.

You're direct, don't mess about.



   

                   

Oh! I'm out of here, man.



   

                   

- Time I was up the road.

- OK, thanks again.



   

                   

- Thanks for the pizza.

- You're welcome.



   

                   

- Thanks for the company.

- Welcome.



   

                   

You've been really good,

considering...



   

                   

..considering you've never

hung wallpaper before.



   

                   

Is there any point in lying?

I'll get my stuff.



   

                   

OK, I'll just see you...



   

                   

- Is that everything?

- Aye, Shanks took the rest.



   

                   

What will you do

about the dole?



   

                   

It's another of life's

wee adventures, isn't it?



   

                   

Oh, your money.



   

                   

Right. OK, cheers.



   

                   

- I'll see you.

- See you later.



   

                   

- Bye.

- Cheers.



   

                   

Check.



   

                   

Ask her out.



   

                   

- What?

- Ask her out.



   

                   

Fuck's sake. Ask her down the

pub for    pints of diet coke?



   

                   

- The pictures?

- No, can't sit still that long.



   

                   

How much is a meal for two?



   

                   

- Twenty, twenty-five quid.

- Your kidding me on?



   

                   

< Oh, fuck, we can forget

about it, then.



   

                   

< Financials, man.



   

                   

She's got a wee car, a job.



   

                   

A cheque at the end of

the month, a pension, a house.



   

                   

I'm    year old, man.



   

                   

I'm    this year,

I've got fuck all.



   

                   

Joe Kavanagh is all I've got.



   

                   

Ten pin bowling.



   

                   

I'm not ready for this, man.



   

                   

I don't think

I can cope with this.



   

                   

I'm glad you were using

emulsion, Mr Kavanagh.



   

                   

The photographer had a job

getting the paint off that.



   

                   

You recognise this writing?



   

                   

No.



   

                   

- Are you sure?

- Positive.



   

                   

- Do you know Miss Downie?

- No.



   

                   

Funny. She seems to know you.



   

                   

"Dear Sir, I would like to

point out that Mr Kavanagh



   

                   

"is a friend who carried

out work on May the  th.



   

                   

" No money exchanged hands."

Blah, blah, blah.



   

                   

"Yours sincerely,

Miss Sarah Downie."



   

                   

She's prepared to sign an

affidavit to save your bacon.



   

                   

We're stopping your money

for this week. You can appeal.



   

                   

[Receptionist] Just one second.



   

                   

Who was your doctor,

Miss Hobson?



   

                   

Right, Doctor Clegg.



   

                   

Can I have your phone number,

Miss Hobson?



   

                   

 - . He'll be in touch.

Thanks. Bye.



   

                   

I've been waiting over   

minutes for a prescription.



   

                   

- It's getting beyond a joke.

- I know. One second.



   

                   

< Could you hold, please?



   

                   

I've been waiting that long,

rigor mortis is setting in.



   

                   

I know. It's gone

through for a signature.



   

                   

- Haven't got that long to live.

- It'll be five minutes.



   

                   

- I'll get it this week?

- Absolutely. Please hold.



   

                   

It'll be straight out.

Can I help you?



   

                   

Yes. Can I see Sarah Downie?



   

                   

About the parenting

skills class?



   

                   

- No, tell her it's a friend.

- And your name?



   

                   

- Kavanagh.

- Kavanagh.



   

                   

I know she's busy up until...



   

                   

Is it Joe?



   

                   

- Aye.

- Ah-ha.



   

                   

She's at the end

of the corridor.



   

                   

- See the door facing you?

- On the right?



   

                   

Pop your head in the door.



   

                   

- All right, cheers.

- No problem.



   

                   

< Mayfield Health Centre,

how can I help?



   

                   

[Sarah] Cleaning

the boys, well...



   

                   

Another thing when you're

cleaning the wee girls.



   

                   

It's not a good idea to use

talcum powder on the girls,



   

                   

because it gets

inside the girl's vagina.



   

                   

It's very hard to clean

and can cause an infection.



   

                   

But the wee boys are fine.



   

                   

Two minutes?



   

                   

I'II... I'll head...

sorry...outside.



   

                   

< JOE!



   

                   

Joe!



   

                   

Sorry for barging in like that.



   

                   

Thanks for sending

that letter to the Social.



   

                   

- How d'you get on?

- Not bad.



   

                   

They docked a week's money,

could've been worse.



   

                   

- So thanks a lot.

- You're welcome.



   

                   

- Busy in there?

- It's mobbed.



   

                   

- Crazy.

- Yeah.



   

                   

I know you're busy.

Just wanted to tell you.



   

                   

- You're welcome.

- See you later.



   

                   

You fancy, er...

coming bowling some time?



   

                   

- What?

- Ten pin bowling. Fancy it?



   

                   

- Can I think about it?

- Aye, sure. Sure.



   

                   

- Still got my number?

- Aye.



   

                   

Give us a phone if you fancy it.



   

                   

- All right. See you later.

- Bye.



   

                   

I'm not going.



   

                   

What did you say?



   

                   

I'm not going.



   

                   

Come on, Sarah. Why not?



   

                   

'Cause he's a bit wild.



   

                   

Wild. What's wrong

with ten pin bowling?



   

                   

- I've never done it.

- So what?



   

                   

It's not an art form.

You roll a few balls,



   

                   

have a laugh, go home. So what?



   

                   

- I'm not going.

- You're joking!



   

                   

When I die

and they lay me to rest



   

                   

Gonna go to the place

that's the best



   

                   

When I lay me down to die



   

                   

Going up

to the spirit in the sky



   

                   

Going up

to the spirit in the sky



   

                   

Place I'm gonna go when I die



   

                   

When I die

and they lay me to rest



   

                   

Gonna go

to the place that's the best



   

                   

Ah, fuck!



   

                   

Gotta have

a friend named Jesus



   

                   

So you know

that when you die...



   

                   

You cheeky thing, it didn't.



   

                   

It stuck on the side.

It's strange.



   

                   

- Do you want a cup of tea?

- No, I'm fine.



   

                   

Oh, um,

thanks very much for tonight.



   

                   

- Thank you.

- It was fun. I liked it.



   

                   

- All right. See you.

- See you.



   

                   

- Joe?

- Yeah?



   

                   

- Joe, listen! Take this.

- What?



   

                   

- You'll not get a bus.

- Can't take that.



   

                   

- Get a taxi. Take it.

- I'm not taking your money.



   

                   

- I'm not stupid. Take it.

- I don't need the money.



   

                   

[Door slams]



   

                   

[Sarah] Shit.



   

                   

Have you got your keys in there?



   

                   

I can't believe this. Aye.



   

                   

Better phone a locksmiths.



   

                   

A bit late. We'll never get one.



   

                   

Let's see.



   

                   

- Shall I kick the door in?

- No...no.



   

                   

- What are you going to do?

- I'll sleep in the car.



   

                   

How? You've left

your key in there.



   

                   

- Shit.

- This is daft.



   

                   

Look, stay at my place.



   

                   

Hey, that wasn't a come-on.



   

                   

You'll sleep in the bedroom,

me in the sitting room.



   

                   

- Are you sure?

- 'Course I'm sure.



   

                   

- OK.

- Good.



   

                   

[Joe] Right, er...



   

                   

..this is the bedroom.

Sorry about the mess.



   

                   

Bathroom's in there.



   

                   

I'll get you

a towel for the bathroom.



   

                   

There's a pair of pyjamas,

if you want.



   

                   

I'll just change the...



   

                   

..change the sheets.



   

                   

Can I have a cup of tea?



   

                   

Sure, sure, of course. Sorry.



   

                   

This is the sitting room.



   

                   

Er... Go in, grab a seat.



   

                   

- You sure it's tea you want?

- Tea, please. Just milk.



   

                   

- I can make you a coffee.

- No, tea's great. Just milk.



   

                   

- Joe?

- Yeah!



   

                   

- Can I put some music on?

- Sure, go ahead.



   

                   

[Beethoven Violin Concerto]



   

                   

- Dream Team?

- Aye. Our one and only victory.



   

                   

- You were in a band?

- Yeah.



   

                   

Won the local talent

contest and everything.



   

                   

Grab a seat.



   

                   

Are you cold?



   

                   

- Um...

- Yeah?



   

                   

- Yeah.

- I'll put the fire on.



   

                   

- It's lovely, isn't it?

- Aye. Brilliant.



   

                   

- Reminds me of my crazy days.

- Why?



   

                   

Can't tell you.

You'd think I was a nutter.



   

                   

Bit late for that.



   

                   

Well, er...

One day when I woke up...



   

                   

desperate for a drink,

totally skint...



   

                   

I went to a music shop and

stole a bundle of cassettes...



   

                   

Took them down the pub

and sold them.



   

                   

The lot went, country and

western, pop. Everything went...



   

                   

except for this.



   

                   

Not for    pence.



   

                   

I took it home, got pissed...



   

                   

as was my wont.



   

                   

And, er...stuck it on.



   

                   

And it was just...



   

                   

magical.



   

                   

There was something about it.



   

                   

My own space,

my own dreams, you know?



   

                   

Anyway...



   

                   

I still play it to remind me

of what I was, you know?



   

                   

What I might be.



   

                   

What made you stop drinking?



   

                   

Why do you wanna know?



   

                   

It must have been

a turning point in your life.



   

                   

- 'Cause I'm scared to tell you.

- Why?



   

                   

There's a chance

you might hate me.



   

                   

Don't be daft.



   

                   

There was a girl

I used to drink with.



   

                   

Rhona.



   

                   

We lived together, on and off.



   

                   

In my mind I loved her.



   

                   

In her mind she loved me.



   

                   

That's where it stopped.



   

                   

We were both just tangled up.



   

                   

Clinging on like grim death.



   

                   

We used to have these

really terrible arguments...



   

                   

Really fierce. We used

to tear each other apart.



   

                   

But it was never

physical... Ever.



   

                   

One day we went to Largs...



   

                   

great day,

weather was really good.



   

                   

Walked along the beach,

being stupid, you know.



   

                   

And of course I had a drink.



   

                   

I'd been a lot drunker.



   

                   

On the bus on the way back

I had a kip.



   

                   

Maybe that's where it started.



   

                   

Because when I woke up...



   

                   

when we were walking

up the close



   

                   

of the shithole we stayed,



   

                   

this cloud

had just descended.



   

                   

Really, really dark.



   

                   

Suddenly, I hated her.



   

                   

And I hated me.



   

                   

I hated that shithole.



   

                   

I tried to open the door,

put the key in the lock,



   

                   

and the stupid key

wouldn't go in.



   

                   

I was meant to fix the lock

and never got round to it.



   

                   

She laughed.

She found this really funny.



   

                   

Which it probably was.



   

                   

Next thing I knew, her head

was up against the wall.



   

                   

Think it's fucking funny?



   

                   

I was punching her.



   

                   

I was kicking her.



   

                   

[Rhona screams]



   

                   

- Why are you fucking crying?

- You bastard!



   

                   

- What did you call me?

- Bastard!



   

                   

- Once more, you fucking bitch!

- Leave me alone, bastard!



   

                   

- Bastard!

- Shut up!



   

                   

The next day I said

I remembered nothing.



   

                   

It was a blackout.

She believed me.



   

                   

There were plenty of blackouts.



   

                   

I still remember.



   

                   

I remember every punch.



   

                   

Every kick.



   

                   

Her screaming.



   

                   

And then...



   

                   

Then the shame started.



   

                   

And the feelings of disgust.



   

                   

Then more shame.



   

                   

More disgust.



   

                   

I could hardly fucking breathe.



   

                   

Like it was on my chest.



   

                   

So I went to the AA.



   

                   

This time it was serious.



   

                   

And I haven't

touched a drop...since.



   

                   

You've never forgiven yourself?



   

                   

I know about that as well.



   

                   

[Joe sobs]



   

                   

Ssshhh... Ssshhh...



   

                   

Joe, ssshhh...it's OK.



   

                   

It's OK.



   

                   

[Joe] In there, Doc!



   

                   

[Shanks] Get in again!



   

                   

[Joe] Clear it!



   

                   

Oh, no luck, Ravanelli!

Pretty poor show!



   

                   

[Joe] Come on,

look for the ball!



   

                   

[Shanks] Robbo, push them out!



   

                   

[Joe] Doc, steam in!



   

                   

[Joe] Come on, Catman!

Play it, Catman!



   

                   

[Cheering]



   

                   

That was without the teeth!



   

                   

Want to see him

with the wallies in?



   

                   

[Joe] Zulu, take the wing!



   

                   

Liam, turn and face

the ball! Liam!



   

                   

Liam!



   

                   

[Player] Oh, fuck off!



   

                   

He knows what this was for.

Now fuck off!



   

                   

It's all right. It's all right.



   

                   

[Shanks] Your weans must

be proud of you, you cunt.



   

                   

You're OK?



   

                   

- Cann't breathe.

- What was that about?



   

                   

- Eh?

- What was all that about?



   

                   

I noised one of them up

in the pub.



   

                   

He's just getting us back.



   

                   

- OK, come on, up.

- Oh, fucking hell.



   

                   

- Are you still clean?

- Eh?



   

                   

- Are you still clean?

- Fuck's sake. Of course I am.



   

                   

[Receptionist] Doctor Clegg,

I'm afraid, he's got someone in.



   

                   

Can you call back

in five minutes?



   

                   

Uh-huh, certainly.



   

                   

I'll let him know

that's cancelled. OK, thank you.



   

                   

Just one second, please.

Excuse me!



   

                   

< Excuse me!



   

                   

- Can you put the cigarette out?

- Two minutes.



   

                   

- It's no smoking.

- Two minutes.



   

                   

< Mayfield Health Centre,

please hold the line.



   

                   

It's appointments only

and booked up for    days.



   

                   

- I've just left my work yard.

- I know. One second.



   

                   

Excuse me!

Please put the cigarette out.



   

                   

- Give us a minute, eh?

- I've asked once before.



   

                   

- Then don't ask again.

- It's the last time.



   

                   

If you don't put it out,

the doctor won't see you.



   

                   

You'll wait till

I've fucking finished it.



   

                   

I'm not putting it out.



   

                   

- Just put it out.

- Fuck off, I'll do what I want.



   

                   

You've got your daddy's

face, haven't you, pet?



   

                   

- Do you ever take him?

- I cann't get near him.



   

                   

Let me see you hold him.

Turn him the other way.



   

                   

So he can hear your heartbeat.



   

                   

They're used to that

from the womb.



   

                   

There you go.

You're with your daddy.



   

                   

I'm worried about his eyes.

He's awful scaly, you know?



   

                   

My brother's as scaly as fuck,

has eyes the other way.



   

                   

That's normal. They don't start

to focus till they're six weeks.



   

                   

- He cann't see anything?

- He can see shadows.



   

                   

Once he's six weeks old,

they'll sort themselves out.



   

                   

And her nipples...

They're giving you gyp as well.



   

                   

I can speak for myself.

They're quite sore.



   

                   

This might seem strange, but...



   

                   

keep a cabbage

in your fridge, right?



   

                   

Chill it. A cabbage leaf

down each side of your bra,



   

                   

that'll cool your nipples.



   

                   

Maybe put one

down his crotch, yeah.



   

                   

[Argument outside]



   

                   

Excuse me a wee minute.



   

                   

[Receptionist] Keep your

voice down. Cool it.



   

                   

- Hand over the prescription.

- You're not going in my bag!



   

                   

Shall we call the police?



   

                   

Phone the polis!

Get out of my bag!



   

                   

Don't touch my fucking bag!



   

                   

- Sabine, don't be daft!

- Leave my bag alone.



   

                   

- Calm down.

- I fucking won't.



   

                   

Give me my fucking bag,

you snobby bitch!



   

                   

Sabine, stop that!



   

                   

If you've nothing in it,

you've got nothing to hide.



   

                   

- Where's the prescription pad?

- That's fucking crap!



   

                   

Right, what's this?



   

                   

[Doctor] Very smart, Sabine.



   

                   

If you'd given me

my prescription,



   

                   

I wouldn't have to steal it!



   

                   

You know the score.

You've been on a programme.



   

                   

- I want my script!

- There's no prescription!



   

                   

I want my fucking prescription!

I'm not moving fucking...



   

                   

[Man] Let's go, come on.

[Sarah] Take it easy.



   

                   

She's taken

the prescription pad.



   

                   

He's not giving me

my fucking script!



   

                   

[Doctor] You'll get no more

prescriptions from here!



   

                   

Frank, can I talk

to you for a wee moment?



   

                   

What's going on?



   

                   

This has happened

umpteen times before.



   

                   

I've put a lot of work

into that family.



   

                   

Can we speak about it?



   

                   

Listen, I don't want

her on the register.



   

                   

Can you send in

the next patient?



   

                   

[Door opens]



   

                   

[TV] 'Drivers in first

and second place...'



   

                   

- Where have you been?

- Out.



   

                   

- Out? Where?

- Aye, with my pals.



   

                   

- What pals?

- Maggie and that.



   

                   

Look at the state of you!



   

                   

- I need the toilet.

- I wanna talk to you.



   

                   

Get in there before

I drag you in. Move it!



   

                   

Fuck off! What's your

fucking problem?



   

                   

- You were up the town.

- No, I wasn't.



   

                   

Don't fucking lie to me!

Fucking give us this!



   

                   

What the fuck is this? Eh?



   

                   

Who are they for?

I don't fucking use them!



   

                   

You take me for a fucking prick?



   

                   

I'm here cooking Scott's dinner,

telling him stories,



   

                   

and you're taking

the fucking prick out of me!



   

                   

Are you? You fucking idiot!



   

                   

Different fucking story when

you're getting your share! >



   

                   

Aye, a different fucking story.



   

                   

I'm not back streets

getting shagged by perverts!



   

                   

- Neither am I.

- I cann't go on like this.



   

                   

You're telling me.

Neither can I.



   

                   

You nag, nag, nag.

Fucking driving me up the wall.



   

                   

Look at the

fucking state of you!



   

                   

You know what people are like!

What if they twig on?



   

                   

- So fuck them.

- So fuck them?



   

                   

What if they tell

the social worker?



   

                   

You're on junk, on the game!



   

                   

Do you want to

lose Scott again?



   

                   

- We're gonna lose him again!

- No, we're not.



   

                   

You're gonna fucking lose me.

I cann't handle this.



   

                   

- Fuck off, will you!

- I will fuck off.



   

                   

- I'll take Scott.

- No, you're not.



   

                   

I'll take Scott

and leave you here to rot.



   

                   

- That's what you want.

- No.



   

                   

No? Well, fucking...

Have a look at yourself, Sabine!



   

                   

Is that what you want?



   

                   

Fuck off... Fucking asshole.



   

                   

- Send us a postcard, Helen.

- Will do.



   

                   

- I need to see Sabine and Liam.

- What's up?



   

                   

She was in yesterday

causing absolute havoc.



   

                   

She got struck off the register.



   

                   

I need to get her a new doctor.



   

                   

- Hiya.

- Can I have a word, please?



   

                   

Be with you in a minute.



   

                   

The baby's had diarrhoea

for three days...



   

                   

- Is your mummy in?

- Yes.



   

                   

There was fighting

and Liam was crying.



   

                   

- There was fighting?

- Hm-hm.



   

                   

Liam?



   

                   

Liam?



   

                   

[Knocks on door]



   

                   

What the fuck are you doing?



   

                   

Trying to get a vein.



   

                   

Your wean's being looked

after by another wean.



   

                   

- Will you pick that up?

- Where's Liam?



   

                   

- Gonna give me that up?

- Where's Liam?



   

                   

Fucking give it.

You know what this is like!



   

                   

- Give me that!

- You don't need this shit.



   

                   

- I'll help you.

- I need it.



   

                   

Fucking please, man.

I'm begging you.



   

                   

You've gotta give me this.

Hold that.



   

                   

- Oh, no.

- Fuck, please. Come on, Joe.



   

                   

Please.



   

                   

Where's Liam, Sabine?



   

                   

Sabine, where's Liam?



   

                   

- McGowan's boys got him.

- What was that?



   

                   

- McGowan's boys got him.

- When did they come?



   

                   

- Sabine, when did they come?

- A wee while ago.



   

                   

- Where are you going?

- McGowan's lot have got Liam.



   

                   

- Oh, my God.

- Look, Sabine's in there.



   

                   

- Don't let him in there.

- Be careful!



   

                   

- Where's McGowan?

- Hold on.



   

                   

- Is he in his office?

- No.



   

                   

- Where is he?

- He's...in the snooker hall.



   

                   

< How are you doing, Joe?

How's things?



   

                   

- Look what the wind blew in.

- Pint of meths for the alky.



   

                   

He's more classy.

A vodka with a twist of lemon.



   

                   

- Want a sniff?

- Have one on me.



   

                   

Pay your monkeys more,

their patter's shite.



   

                   

Shut it. Last time shite

was running down your legs.



   

                   

Alfie... Give us a minute.



   

                   

- [Joe] Can I have a word?

- Sure.



   

                   

Where's Liam?



   

                   

He's bitten the hand that

feeds him. You don't do that.



   

                   

Liam tells me one thing

and then does another.



   

                   

Says he's gonna pay,

doesn't show.



   

                   

No' once, no' twice,

but three times.



   

                   

That's what I call

taking the pish.



   

                   

- They've got a  -year-old boy!

- I've got two fucking boys,



   

                   

but if I do nothing,

I'm finished.



   

                   

I don't mind you

giving him a doing.



   

                   

I don't want you

taking liberties.



   

                   

Or what, Joe? Or what?



   

                   

Where is he?



   

                   

Over there. Having a wee think.



   

                   

Liam.



   

                   

Made up my mind.

Want to get it over with.



   

                   

- What are you talking about?

- Well, they want their money.



   

                   

- You said you stopped dealing.

- I stopped when I went inside.



   

                   

But I still owed them     quid.



   

                   

They forgot about it

until this happened.



   

                   

What happened?



   

                   

Sabine owes them      quid.



   

                   

Jesus Christ! How can

Sabine owe them      quid?



   

                   

She took over dealing

when I was inside.



   

                   

You told me she'd stopped.

Why are you lying?



   

                   

I'm not lying. She did stop.



   

                   

She did.

She was doing fucking well.



   

                   

She started back again

a couple of months ago.



   

                   

I didn't realise

until it was out of hand.



   

                   

Then she started

using it all for herself.



   

                   

That's how she ran up the debt.



   

                   

- Why d'you no' tell me?

- What could you do?



   

                   

What's the score?



   

                   

Well, they want

their money back or...



   

                   

they want Sabine

to work the streets.



   

                   

Pay it back.



   

                   

He's a scumbag.

He's a fucking scumbag.



   

                   

Nice wee bit of skirt.

That's what he says.



   

                   

I'm not fucking stupid, Joe.

I know she's on the game,



   

                   

but I couldn't handle that.

Not with them.



   

                   

I know I could get her off.



   

                   

But I need to

square it with them first.



   

                   

So that's it.

I've made my mind up.



   

                   

I want it over and done with.



   

                   

You're not making any sense!



   

                   

They're gonna

fucking break my legs, Joe.



   

                   

That's what they want,

to break my legs.



   

                   

MCGOWAN!



   

                   

You fucking touch him!

You fucking touch him!



   

                   

Touch him and

I'll fucking kill you.



   

                   

Joe, Joe. Behave yourself.



   

                   

[McGowan] Come on. Easy.

Let him go, guys. Let him go.



   

                   

Come here.



   

                   

Come on, it's all right.



   

                   

Listen. I cann't lose face,

that'd be suicide.



   

                   

- Let's sort this out, Joe.

- I'm gonna have you.



   

                   

Don't be a daft boy, pal.



   

                   

- I'd have you first.

- I've got fuck all to lose.



   

                   

What about that

nice nurse you got?



   

                   

- I could do something with her.

- You touch her, I'll stab you.



   

                   

Just trying to find a way out.



   

                   

- Why don't you do a job for us?

- I'll do fuck all.



   

                   

Come on. Pay off the boy's debt?

One, two trips up north.



   

                   

Why not Liam?



   

                   

You think I came up

the Clyde in a banana boat?



   

                   

You pick up the stuff,

bring it down, that's it.



   

                   

- That easy?

- Aye.



   

                   

- Why no' your pricks?

- No, I want YOU to do it.



   

                   

Why me?



   

                   

I like the idea.

For old time's sake.



   

                   

For old time's sake,

to take a flying fuck.



   

                   

Take care of yourself.



   

                   

McGowan: Let's do it.



   

                   

You all right?



   

                   

All right? Sure?



   

                   

- What did they do to you?

- Oh, it's OK.



   

                   

You sure?



   

                   

What happened?



   

                   

See you later.



   

                   

Are you going to

be all right, Sabine?



   

                   

- See you later.

- See you later.



   

                   

- Liam, get the door fixed, eh?

- OK, Joe.



   

                   

- What happened?

- Och...McGowan.



   

                   

Thought Liam was taking the pish

and wanted to make a point.



   

                   

- What about the money they owe?

- Sorted. McGowan seems happy...



   

                   

[Whistles]



   

                   

AH! Fuck!



   

                   

[Resumes whistling]



   

                   

[Door closes]



   

                   

How are you feeling now?



   

                   

Much better.



   

                   

- Doing all right?

- Yeah. I chop great celery.



   

                   

Looks great.



   

                   

Lovely.



   

                   

Joe, I'm gonna drop this.



   

                   

- I'm gonna drop them!

- I don't care.



   

                   

Don't you...

I'll put this in your face.



   

                   

Don't you dare.



   

                   

Ahh...fire woman.



   

                   

Come here.



   

                   

Let me see.



   

                   

JESUS CHRIST!



   

                   

Oh...my...! Instant

circumcision or what?!



   

                   

Christ, I only hurt

your foot. Fuck's sake!



   

                   

[Seagulls]



   

                   

[Payphone rings]



   

                   

I'm here.



   

                   

- Hello?

- 'See the B&B "Stella Maris"?'



   

                   

- Where's that?

- 'Look to the right.



   

                   

'The last white building.

"Stella Maris".'



   

                   

No, I don't...

Aye, I see it. OK.



   

                   

- 'It's Latin.'

- What?



   

                   

'Star of the Sea.'



   

                   

Is this a fucking

codeword or something?



   

                   

'No, you prick. Thought you

wanted to know what it means.'



   

                   

Youse are cracking me up.

I'm in hysterics, man.



   

                   

'Go in and ask for keys

in the name of McCormick.



   

                   

'Outside you'll see

a black Cherokee car. Right?'



   

                   

What? Outside

the "Stella Maris"?



   

                   

OK, I see it.



   

                   

- 'You know where to go?'

- I know where to go.



   

                   

- 'That's you, then.'

- Is that it?



   

                   

[Dialling tone]



    

                   

[Car alarm]



    

                   

Oh, fuck off!



    

                   

Fuck off. Don't fucking

do this to me.



    

                   

[Car alarm changes pitch]



    

                   

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!



    

                   

Ho!



    

                   

- Know how to stop this?

- In the instruction manual.



    

                   

- In the what?

- The instruction manual.



    

                   

I've no' got

an instruction manual.



    

                   

Give me the keys.



    

                   

[Alarm stops]



    

                   

Watch your lip.



    

                   

Cheers.



    

                   

< By the way,

what's the registration number?



    

                   

- What are you saying?

- Could be daylight robbery.



    

                   

Yeah, I've got

two bodies in the boot. >



    

                   

Make sure you dispose of them.



    

                   

Oh, fucking stupid cunt.



    

                   

Jesus, Shanks.

I have to go through with this.



    

                   

[Shanks] What happens

in future? Will he say:



    

                   

"I'll kick his head in,

unless you do another job."



    

                   

I'll do these two jobs

and I walk away.



    

                   

Oh, do these TWO jobs.



    

                   

I thought you were going for a

trip up north. For fuck's sake!



    

                   

You'll get a membership card

for the McGowan clan.



    

                   

- Fuck off.

- Come on.



    

                   

< I'm not working for him...



    

                   

You are working for him.



    

                   

Do you get short-term contracts

for fucking drug dealers?



    

                   

[Shanks] What's the fucking

problem with Liam's family?



    

                   

What's the problem with Sabine?



    

                   

- Tell me.

- She's a junkie.



    

                   

You'd as well go north

and get her some junk, then.



    

                   

You dance with the fucking

devil, you're in the gang.



    

                   

I cann't believe how

fucking naive you are.



    

                   

[Joe] I'm not naive.



    

                   

- I've got nothing to say, Joe.

- You've got to trust me, man.



    

                   

[Bagpipes: Scotland the Brave]



    

                   

Tea, please.



    

                   

- Milk and sugar?

- Just milk, ta.



    

                   

That'll do. Ta.



    

                   

He only knows three songs.



    

                   

- 'Scotland the Brave'...

- 'Skye Boat Song', I bet you.



    

                   

Aye. And 'FIower of Scotland'.



    

                   

- Does he sell shortbread?

- He does...sell it.



    

                   

- 'Bonnie Scotland'.

- 'Bonnie Scotland', right.



    

                   

[Sarah] What are you

smiling about?



    

                   

Do me a favour. Close your eyes.



    

                   

- No chance.

- Go on, close your eyes.



    

                   

For me.



    

                   

Are they really closed?

No cheatin'?



    

                   

Hand, please. Thank you.



    

                   

- Now you can open them.

- Oh, what's this?



    

                   

You didn't need to

buy me a present.



    

                   

Oh... They're lovely.



    

                   

- Like them?

- Oh, they're gorgeous!



    

                   

- What do you think?

- Oh, nice.



    

                   

- Go with your eyes.

- Thank you, they're beautiful.



    

                   

- Right, once more.

- What?



    

                   

- Close your eyes again.

- No way!



    

                   

Oh, Joe... You're mad.



    

                   

- Just close your eyes.

- Right.



    

                   

Hand.



    

                   

What's this?



    

                   

- It's a ring.

- What have you bought this for?



    

                   

'Cause I love you.



    

                   

How can you say that?



    

                   

Because I mean it.



    

                   

Joe, we've only known each

other for four or five weeks.



    

                   

If you knew me, you

wouldn't be saying this.



    

                   

- What do you mean?

- No, I can't take that.



    

                   

- I don't want it.

- I got it for you.



    

                   

I don't want it.



    

                   

Take it.



    

                   

- I just can't handle this.

- What have I done wrong?



    

                   

Sarah!



    

                   

Sarah!



    

                   

Sarah! Hold up!



    

                   

What is going on?



    

                   

Just...



    

                   

You've ruined

everything now, haven't you?



    

                   

I didn't mean to upset you.



    

                   

Well, you have. You've really

upset me, all right?



    

                   

Just leave us alone, will you?



    

                   

[Classical music]



    

                   

[Mumbling]



    

                   

[Knock at door]



    

                   

- I'll just go, then.

- No, it's all right.



    

                   

In you come.



    

                   

- Cup of tea or something?

- That'd be good.



    

                   

- What have you been up to?

- Just been reading.



    

                   

- Your earrings look good.

- Thanks.



    

                   

Don't ask about

the fucking ring.



    

                   

What happened?



    

                   

Tossed the fucking thing,

didn't I?



    

                   

[Laughs] Did you? Where?



    

                   

The river, where do you think?



    

                   

Gonna get it back. Got my

flippers and my snorkel ready.



    

                   

Start scuba diving.



    

                   

Oh, Joe, come here.



    

                   

Somebody want to tell me

what the fuck's going on?



    

                   

[Men] NO!



    

                   

At the end of this road

take a left.



    

                   

Turn right and keep going.



    

                   

[Joe] The left. Right. Jesus.



    

                   

[Zulu] Right as in right, OK?

[Joe] Oh, right, right.



    

                   

[Zulu] No, left! Left!



    

                   

- [Joe] Where now?

- Keep going, man.



    

                   

There's a canal

at the end, right?



    

                   

With a wee bridge. A canal.



    

                   

This better be

fucking kosher, guys.



    

                   

[Zulu] Just mellow out

and trust us for once.



    

                   

- Trust you?

- Just keep driving, mate.



    

                   

[Robbo] Keep your eyes

open for Scrag.



    

                   

Take a right there.



    

                   

[Zulu] At the back

of the shops. No, keep driving!



    

                   

[Zulu] Here's brilliant.



    

                   

Sound as a pound.



    

                   

Keep the engine running.



    

                   

Sshh...! Sshh!



    

                   

Well, are you getting out

or coming in, or what?



    

                   

Go! Go! Go!



    

                   

What...the...fuck?



    

                   

GET IN HERE!



    

                   

[Joe] Liam! Liam!



    

                   

LIAM!



    

                   

Fucking bastards!



    

                   

The fucking stuff's away,

look at that!



    

                   

Brazil!



    

                   

- [Referee] That's sacrilege!

- [Joe] What?



    

                   

- A Brazilian strip?

- They were born for it.



    

                   

[Joe] Pele! Yeah!



    

                   

[Referee] You look

like a budgie!



    

                   

There you go.

The teeth of Rivelino!



    

                   

[Referee] You holding

Rivelino's teeth...!



    

                   

With these we cann't lose, man.



    

                   

[Jeering from the opposition]



    

                   

- Where'd we get these strips?

- A sponsorship...



    

                   

Maggie, can I speak

to you for a minute?



    

                   

Sarah, this better be good.



    

                   

Right, Maggie.

What colour's that?



    

                   

- Blue.

- And what colour's that?



    

                   

Blue.



    

                   

- And what colour's that?

- Blue again.



    

                   

You can safely say, the patient

is pregnant. Why am I here?



    

                   

Oh, my God.



    

                   

Not Sarah.

Not the health visitor?



    

                   

Not Sarah that runs the

health education classes?



    

                   

That takes the teenage

pregnancy courses?



    

                   

You've been on the

fucking radio about it!



    

                   

You're pregnant,

I don't believe it!



    

                   

I feel really weird.



    

                   

You're pregnant! Oh, my God!



    

                   

I need to sit down.

What are you gonna do?



    

                   

- I don't know.

- Sarah, how...?



    

                   

- I don't know.

- What did Joe say?



    

                   

He doesn't know.



    

                   

- I'm the first person to know?

- Yeah.



    

                   

- Are you OK?

- I suppose so, yeah.



    

                   

Come here and give me a hug.



    

                   

Congratulations!



    

                   

Shall we do that song again?

"I want some..." Join in.



    

                   

Maybe they're at Mayfield.

I'll sort it out.



    

                   

I've seen Doctor Craig,

he's real nice.



    

                   

Dead helpful.



    

                   

What about McGowan?



    

                   

Joe sorted it.



    

                   

- What d'you mean?

- Paid them off or something.



    

                   

What d'you mean,

paid him off or something?



    

                   

- I don't know.

- What are you talking about?



    

                   

- You owed them      pound.

- I don't know nothing.



    

                   

- What's she talking about?

- She's talking out her arse.



    

                   

Joe went to see McGowan

and got us more time to pay.



    

                   

- How long?

- Couple of months.



    

                   

- How much per month do you pay?

- It's my problem.



    

                   

- Tell me, how much?

- Look, come on, you.



    

                   

Wait a minute.



    

                   

I have to feed him.



    

                   

- What's Joe got to do with it?

- Don't listen to her.



    

                   

- You're lying.

- I swear to God, Sarah.



    

                   

Joe met McGowan and

got us more time. That's it.



    

                   

- How are you gonna pay?

- I don't fucking know.



    

                   

What's she talking about?



    

                   

Fuck's sake, Sarah.

She's all mixed up.



    

                   

- You're lying.

- A Catholic boy like me?



    

                   

- You're lying.

- I'm not. Don't listen to her.



    

                   

Joe's got nothing to

do with it. Say cheerio.



    

                   

- Bye-bye, darling.

- Cheerio.



    

                   

What the fuck

were you saying?



    

                   

[Joe is whistling]



    

                   

How are you doing?



    

                   

What's the matter? >



    

                   

What's up?



    

                   

Tell me again

what happened with McGowan.



    

                   

Nothing happened with McGowan.



    

                   

- Tell me.

- Nothing happened with McGowan.



    

                   

How come Sabine said

you paid him off?



    

                   

Sabine said this?

Jesus, she's a smackhead.



    

                   

< Did you borrow money

off McGowan?



    

                   

I wouldn't borrow

off that bastard.



    

                   

- I didn't borrow off McGowan.

- Well, somebody else, then?



    

                   

I didn't borrow

money from anybody.



    

                   

Darlin', you shouldn't

be concerned with this.



    

                   

I'm very concerned.

See if you're lying to me...!



    

                   

OK.



    

                   

McGowan and I go back a bit.



    

                   

We were brought up

on the same scheme.



    

                   

He's a total bastard.

I begged him not to hurt Liam.



    

                   

And he did.

Liam's on the last chance.



    

                   

You'd better be telling

the truth.



    

                   

If you're not,

I'll break something.



    

                   

You still, you still don't know.



    

                   

You don't know

how much I love you.



    

                   

I'm not gonna put

all that at risk.



    

                   

I'm no' lying.



    

                   

I was so frightened.



    

                   

[Banging on door]



    

                   

Fuck off.



    

                   

Thank fuck you're in.

Came to warn you.



    

                   

Sarah was sniffing

about this morning...



    

                   

[Breaking glass]



    

                   

Sarah, you've

gotta listen to me.



    

                   

Sarah.



    

                   

Look...



    

                   

Look, you need to trust me, OK?



    

                   

There's some things

I cann't tell you.



    

                   

And I don't want you to ask.



    

                   

All you need to know

is I'm helping Liam.



    

                   

In a week from now

it's over. It's done.



    

                   

It's got nothing to do with

us, it's a different planet.



    

                   

Sarah?



    

                   

If you think it's nothing to

do with us, it's over already.



    

                   

All right.



    

                   

Right, you want the truth? OK.



    

                   

When I went to see McGowan,

he'd given Liam a choice.



    

                   

Choice one, he pays up.

Problem, he's no money.



    

                   

Choice two, McGowan

puts Sabine on the game.



    

                   

How's she supposed to

come off the smack then?



    

                   

Choice three, they

break his fucking legs.



    

                   

Do you expect me

to walk away from that?



    

                   

I couldn't walk away.

I was there!



    

                   

McGowan said if I done

a wee job for him



    

                   

he'd pay off Liam's debts.



    

                   

What job?



    

                   

I had to pick up a car.



    

                   

Next week I pick up

another car. That's it.



    

                   

It's over.



    

                   

£    -worth of debt

for you to pick up two cars?



    

                   

What was in the car?



    

                   

What was in the car, Joe?



    

                   

Dunno.



    

                   

You're lying.



    

                   

- I don't know.

- You're lying.



    

                   

What do you think

was in the fucking car?



    

                   

They were gonna break his

fucking legs! Now you know.



    

                   

I'm sorry, but we don't live in

this nice, tidy world of yours.



    

                   

Some cann't go to the polis.



    

                   

Some cann't go

to the bank for a loan.



    

                   

Some cann't move house

and fuck off.



    

                   

Some of us don't have a choice!



    

                   

I didn't have a fucking choice!



    

                   

I don't want him

splitting us up...



    

                   

You're a drug dealer!



    

                   

I'm not a fucking drug dealer!



    

                   

- What would you call it?

- What would you have done?



    

                   

I've seen babies rattling,



    

                   

sent to intensive care

with expected brain damage!



    

                   

Have you seen

a   -year-old choke on vomit?



    

                   

For fuck's sake,

I only did it once!



    

                   

Where did you get the money

for the earrings and the ring?



    

                   

Where did you get the money?



    

                   

McGowan gave me £    for myself.



    

                   

I wish this had

never happened. Where's my...



    

                   

Don't even try to stop me.



    

                   

Get out of my way!

Get out of my fucking way!



    

                   

I'm no' letting you go again!



    

                   

- Leave me!

- No, just calm down.



    

                   

Are you gonna hit me too, Joe?



    

                   

[Sobbing]



    

                   

Oh, fuck!



    

                   

Come on, Shanks. Be in.



    

                   

[Ringing tone]



    

                   

[Answerphone] 'lf you'd

like to leave a message...'



    

                   

Fuck off! Fuck off!



    

                   

'..please speak slowly



    

                   

'as this contraption

is running too fast.'



    

                   

[Answerphone bleeps]



    

                   

Shanks, it's Joe.

Give us a bell. Cheers.



    

                   

[Knock at door, barking dog]



    

                   

- Hi, Joe.

- Hi, Sabine.



    

                   

Sorry, by the way.



    

                   

I'm really sorry.

I had no idea.



    

                   

- Can I go and...

- There's     there.



    

                   

That'll give you a

coupla hours to leave.



    

                   

- You've done enough for us.

- Take the money.



    

                   

I tell McGowan I'm out.



    

                   

I'm no' doing the second run.

You know what that means?



    

                   

He'll come after you two.



    

                   

Take the money,

jump on a train, whatever.



    

                   

Get the hell out of here.



    

                   

You have to think for yourself

on this one. I really tried.



    

                   

It's you, your family.

Look after them, OK?



    

                   

It's no' up to me now.

Gotta do it yourself.



    

                   

- Sarah in?

- She doesnae want to see you.



    

                   

- I need to talk to her.

- She doesnae...



    

                   

Sarah.



    

                   

I spoke to Liam.



    

                   

I'll speak to McGowan,

I'm telling him I'm out.



    

                   

You hear me? Maggie,

will you give us a minute?



    

                   

- Go, Maggie.

- I'm not going anywhere.



    

                   

Sarah, darlin'.



    

                   

I just drew

a different slant on it.



    

                   

Somebody helped me once and

I thought I could do the same.



    

                   

If I'd thought I was gonna lose

you, I'd never have done it.



    

                   

I love you and I can't

lose you. You're my soul.



    

                   

- I can't see you again, Joe.

- Don't say that. Please.



    

                   

I just can't see you again.



    

                   

- [Joe] I'll do anything.

- [Sarah] Just go on.



    

                   

- Tell me I've not lost you.

- [Maggie] Joe, come on. Please.



    

                   

I don't know what to do.



    

                   

This isnae fair.



    

                   

This is no' fair.



    

                   

[Maggie, softly] Just go.



    

                   

- 'Hello, minicab hire.'

- McGowan there?



    

                   

- 'No.'

- Where is he?



    

                   

'Said he was going

down to the pub.'



    

                   

I want out.

I'm no fucking good at this.



    

                   

I'm not your man,

know what I mean?



    

                   

I'm gonna get caught.

We'll all get caught.



    

                   

That's not how it works.



    

                   

You cann't get out.

You've gotta finish it.



    

                   

Otherwise Liam gets

away with all this.



    

                   

If he does,

I'm a laughing stock.



    

                   

I'm fucking begging you.



    

                   

I'm no good. I'll fuck it up.

I'm not built for this.



    

                   

I'm begging you. Let me go.



    

                   

Away you go. Don't get

desperate, it's embarrassing.



    

                   

- You don't want me.

- Alf!



    

                   

Just let us out of this. Please.



    

                   

You never learn.



    

                   

You won't be smiling

when I fuck that nurse.



    

                   

You fucking bastard!



    

                   

Fuck off! Fuck off!



    

                   

You fucking want some of this?



    

                   

Where are you going?

Hey! This McGowan's?



    

                   

This McGowan's?



    

                   

Want to drive it?

Well, fucking drive it!



    

                   

[Classical music]



    

                   

Joe! You'd better

get out of here!



    

                   

[Turns music off]



    

                   

You'd better get

your arse into gear, man!



    

                   

Everybody knows

it's McGowan and that.



    

                   

- How'd you get in here?

- Your door was open, Joe.



    

                   

Oh, fucking hell.



    

                   

We're gonna have to

get out, pal.



    

                   

- Did you kick in my door?

- No, your door was opened.



    

                   

What did I tell you?

I told you to fuck off.



    

                   

I gives you     pounds

and tell you to fuck off.



    

                   

What the fuck

are you doing here?



    

                   

- You never fucking listen.

- Joe, I did listen.



    

                   

No, you don't,

you stupid wee prick!



    

                   

- Look, Joe...

- I fucking gives you the money!



    

                   

I tell you to go.

What are you doing here?



    

                   

I wasn't talking about

the money. Where could I go?



    

                   

I've no' got anywhere to go.



    

                   

I thought about it.



    

                   

I was gonna fuck off,

me and Scott.



    

                   

But I couldn't take Sabine.

I fucking couldn't.



    

                   

She cann't live without Scott.

I'd have signed a death warrant.



    

                   

- You're fucking useless.

- I thought about fucking off.



    

                   

- You're useless.

- I'm no' fucking useless!



    

                   

- I wouldn't have seen Scott!

- You're a useless prick.



    

                   

I gave you the fucking money!



    

                   

- It wasn't the fucking money!

- I'd end up in fucking London!



    

                   

Back on the junk.

I cann't handle that.



    

                   

I've fucking cracked it.



    

                   

- What?

- You're fucking dim.



    

                   

- You don't mean that.

- I hate you, your fucking wife.



    

                   

- I hate your fucking wean.

- Don't say anything else, Joe.



    

                   

- I know it's the drink talking.

- I'll shoot the lot of you.



    

                   

I'd take you outside...



    

                   

..I'd get a gun and put a bullet

through your useless heads.



    

                   

What could I do?

Joe, what could I do?



    

                   

I had nowhere to go!



    

                   

You've got fucking

excuses for everything.



    

                   

- It's no' excuses, Joe.

- Excuses for everything, man.



    

                   

All you live off

is a fucking excuse.



    

                   

You're a fucking excuse.



    

                   

You tell me what I can do.



    

                   

Tell me and I'll do it.



    

                   

Come on, tell me.



    

                   

They'd be better off without us.



    

                   

She fucking coped

when I was in jail.



    

                   

So, you're fucking right.



    

                   

I shouldn't have

thought about me first.



    

                   

[Telephone rings]



    

                   

Will I get it?



    

                   

- Hello?

- 'Liam, is that you?'



    

                   

- Sabine?

- 'McGowan's boys were here.'



    

                   

- Oh, fuck.

- 'They smashed up the house.'



    

                   

- How are you?

- 'AII right.'



    

                   

- What about Scott?

- 'He's all right.



    

                   

'They want you and Joe.

Don't come back here.'



    

                   

Grab the wean

and get to your Ma's.



    

                   

'Don't come back here,

'cause they'll kill you.'



    

                   

OK.



    

                   

[Ringing tone]



    

                   

[Sobbing]



    

                   

Fucking better off

without us.



    

                   

Oh, fuck.



    

                   

Fucking Jesus.



    

                   

No fucking way.



    

                   

[Softly] I'm sorry.



    

                   

[Weeping] I know you didn't mean

what you said about us, Joe.



    

                   

Here's your photo back.



    

                   

[Man] Fucking prick!

Jump, I'll kill you anyway!



    

                   

LIAM!



    

                   

LIAM!



    

                   

LIAM!



    

                   

Ah, sweet Jesus,

give me strength.



    

                   

AHH, JESUS, JESUS, Jesus...



    

                   

Ah, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...



    

                   

[Sobbing]



    

                   

[Priest] Eternal rest

grant unto him, O Lord...



    

                   

..and let

perpetual light shine upon him.



    

                   

May he rest in peace. Amen.



    

                   

My dear brothers and sisters,



    

                   

let us go now

in peace and in calm.



    

                   

Hiya, wee man. All right?



    

                   

He was great, eh?















  

 
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