Voila! Finally, the North By Northwest
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Alfred Hitchcock
movie starring Cary Grant
. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of North By Northwest. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
"Even if you accept the belief that a high
Trendex means a rising sales curve...."
-Mr. Thornhill?
-Good night, Eddie.
-Say hello to the missus.
-We're not talking.
"My recommendation is still the same.
"Spread the good word in as many
small time segments as we can.
"Let the opposition have their high ratings
while we cry all the way to the bank.
"Let's colonize at the Colony
one day next week for lunch.
"Let me hear from you, Sam.
Happy thoughts, etc...."
You better walk me to the Plaza.
-I didn't put a coat on.
-Use your blood sugar, child. Come on.
-Next?
-Gretchen Sabinson.
Oh, yes.
Send her a box of candy from Blum's.
$ . You know the kind.
Each piece wrapped in gold paper.
She'll think she's eating money.
Just tell her:
"Darling, I count the days, the hours--"
-You sent that one last time.
-I did?
Put: "Something for your sweet tooth,
baby, and all your other sweet parts! "
I know.
Could we take a cab?
-For two blocks?
-You're late and I'm tired.
That's your trouble, Maggie,
you don't eat properly.
Here. Taxi.
I have a very sick woman here.
You don't mind, do you?
Thank you very much.
Perfectly all right.
First stop, the Plaza. Don't throw the flag.
Poor man.
I made him a happy man.
I made him feel like a good Samaritan.
He knew you were lying.
In the world of advertising,
there's no such thing as a lie.
There's only "the expedient exaggeration."
You ought to know that.
Do I look heavyish to you?
What?
I feel heavyish.
Put a note on my desk in the morning:
"Think thin."
"Think thin."
Better make it the th Street entrance.
Okay.
Soon as you get back, call my mother.
Remind her we have theatre tickets
for tonight.
Dinner at : .
I'll have had two martini's at the Oak Bar
so she needn't bother to sniff my breath.
-She doesn't do that.
-Sure she does. Like a bloodhound.
Bigelow at : is your first for tomorrow.
The Skin Glow rehearsal's at noon.
Then lunch with Falcon and his wife.
-Where was that?
-Larry and Arnold's, : .
-Will you check in later?
-Absolutely not.
Here, Driver. Take this lady
back where she belongs.
-Right.
-That ought to cover it.
-Don't forget, call my mother right away.
-I won't.
-Good night, Mr. Thornhill.
-Good night.
Wait, Maggie! You can't call her.
She's at Mrs.--
Good evening, Mr. Thornhill.
I'm looking for Mr. Weltner
and two other gentlemen.
Yes, sir. Right this way.
Herman.
-Hello, Roger.
-I'm a little late.
Roger Thornhill. Fanning Nelson.
-We've gotten a head start here.
-That won't last long.
I was saying that you may be slow
in starting, but there's nobody faster.
What's the matter? You've got the fidgets.
I told my secretary to call Mother and
I realized she won't be able to reach her.
Why not?
She's playing bridge at one of her cronies'.
-Your secretary?
-No. My mother.
Mr. Kaplan?
It's one of those new apartments,
wet paint and no telephone yet.
Perhaps if I send her a telegram.
Mr. George Kaplan?
Boy!
Kaplan.
I have to send a wire.
Could you send it for me
if I write it out for you?
I'm not permitted to do that, sir,
but if you'll follow me....
-Will you excuse me?
-Go right ahead.
-Right through there, sir.
-Thanks.
Thank you, sir.
What's that supposed to be?
The car is waiting outside.
You'll walk between us saying nothing.
-What are you talking about?
-Let's go.
Go where? Who....
Who are you?
Mere errand boys,
carrying concealed weapons.
His is pointed at your heart, so, please,
no errors of judgment, I beg of you.
What is this? A joke or something?
Yes, a joke. We'll laugh in the car.
Come.
This is ridiculous.
Don't tell me where we're going.
Surprise me.
I left some friends
back there in the Oak Bar.
They'll think I'm awfully rude.
Could we stop off
at a drugstore for a moment...
...so that I could explain
I'm being kidnapped?
Well, that is what's happening, isn't it?
Locked.
TOWNSEND
Who's Townsend?
Really?
Interesting.
-Where is he?
-Upstairs, dressing.
-Tell him I'm here.
-The dinner guests are expected.
Never mind that. Say to him: "Kaplan."
By the way,
what are we having for dessert?
-Is anyone in the library?
-No.
This way.
You will wait here.
Don't hurry. I'll catch up on my reading.
MR. LESTER TOWNSEND
BAYWOOD, GLEN COVE, N.Y.
Good evening.
Not what I expected. A little taller...
...a little more polished than the others.
I'm so glad you're pleased, Mr. Townsend.
But, I'm afraid, just as obvious.
What the devil is all this about?
Why was I brought here?
Games? Must we?
Not that I mind a slight case of abduction,
but I have tickets for the theatre tonight.
To a show I was looking forward to.
I get unreasonable about things like that.
With such expert play-acting,
you make this very room a theatre.
Leonard, have you met
our distinguished guest?
He's a well-tailored one, isn't he?
My secretary is a great admirer
of your methods, Mr. Kaplan.
Elusiveness, however misguided--
Wait a minute.
Did you call me "Kaplan"?
I know you're a man of many names,
but I'll accept your current choice.
Current choice?
My name is Roger Thornhill.
It's never been anything else.
Of course.
Your friends picked up the wrong package
when they bundled me out here in the car.
Sit down, Mr. Kaplan.
I told you, I'm not Kaplan, whoever he is.
-Excuse me.
-Yes?
The guests are here, dear.
Look after them.
I'll be with you in a few minutes.
Now, shall we get down to business?
I'm all for that.
Simply, I'd like you to tell me
how much you know of our arrangements...
...and how you've come by
this information.
-I don't expect to get this for nothing.
-Of course not.
Don't misunderstand.
I don't expect you to fall in
with the suggestion...
...but the least I can do is afford you
the opportunity of surviving the evening.
What is that supposed to mean?
Why don't you surprise me,
Mr. Kaplan, and say yes?
I've told you--
We know where you're headed for.
I know where I'm headed.
The Winter Garden Theatre in New York.
And I think I'd better get going.
Townsend,
you're making a serious mistake.
This is not going to lead
to a very happy conclusion, Mr. Kaplan.
I'm not Kaplan!
I do wish you would reconsider.
We also know your contact in Pittsburgh
since Jason committed suicide.
What contact?
I've never been in Pittsburgh.
On June you checked
into the Sherwyn Hotel in Pittsburgh...
...as Mr. George Kaplan
of Berkeley, California.
A week later, you registered
at the Benjamin Franklin Hotel...
...in Philadelphia
as Mr. George Kaplan of Pittsburgh.
On August
you stayed at the Statler in Boston.
On August George Kaplan of Boston
registered at the Whittier in Detroit.
At present, you are registered
in Room ...
...at the Plaza Hotel in New York
as Mr. George Kaplan of Detroit.
In two days, you are due
at the Ambassador East in Chicago.
And then at the Sheraton-Johnson Hotel
in Rapid City, South Dakota.
Not me!
There's no sense in maintaining
that you are deceiving us...
...any more than we are deceiving you.
I suppose it wouldn't do any good
to show you ID cards...
...a driver's license, things like that?
They provide you with such good ones.
It's getting late. I have guests.
Do you intend to cooperate with us?
I'd like a simple yes or no.
A simple no.
For the simple reason that I simply
don't know what you're talking about.
Give Mr. Kaplan a drink, Leonard.
A pleasant journey, sir.
Scotch? Rye?
Bourbon? Vodka?
Nothing. I'll take a quick ride
back to town.
That has been arranged.
But first, a libation.
Bourbon!
You drink it.
I've had enough stimulation for one day.
It'll be easier if you take this yourself.
Otherwise, we'll have to insist.
Cheers!
Don't worry about me. I'll take the bus.
Thanks for the lift.
I want this man examined for driving
while intoxicated.
Really?
You see, they tried to kill me.
He won't listen to me.
In a big house. They tried to kill me.
-All right. Let's just go inside.
-I don't want to go inside.
Somebody call the police.
Come on. Come on now.
Okay.
Sit down.
I don't want to sit.
Perfectly all right. See?
We'll get 'em. We'll throw the book
at them. Assault and kidnapping.
Assault with a gun and a bourbon
and a sports car.
We'll get 'em.
You'll be fine after a good night's sleep.
We got a nice cell all made up.
I don't want a cell. I want a policeman.
The car was just reported stolen.
A Mrs. Babson up on Twining Road.
I got to call someone. Where's the phone?
You're allowed one call.
Over here.
Thanks.
You better make it your lawyer.
Butterfield - - - - .
What am l, a telephone operator?
Butterfield - - - - .
Just a minute, please.
-Here.
-Thank you.
Hello, Mother?
Mother, this is your son, Roger Thornhill.
Wait a minute, I'll find out.
Where am l?
Glen Cove Police Station.
Glen Cove Police Station.
No, Mother, I have not been drinking.
No, these two men, they poured
a whole bottle of bourbon into me.
No, they didn't give me a chaser.
Come on, let's go.
-Wait, I'm not finished yet.
-Yes, you are. Come on.
Mother, I got to go now.
Get my lawyer right away
and come and bail me out.
Tomorrow morning, tell her.
Tomorrow morning, he says.
I don't know. I'll ask him.
She wants to know who says.
Sergeant Emil Klinger.
Sergeant Emil....
Emil?
Sergeant Emil Klinger.
No. I didn't believe it either.
I'm all right, Mother. Good night.
That was Mother.
Let's go.
Here's your man, Doctor.
What's your name?
Roger Thornhill.
Stick out your tongue and say: "ah."
You better move back.
Have you been drinking?
Doctor, I am gassed.
What were you drinking?
Well, bourbon. See, these two fellas--
-How much would you say you drank?
-What?
-How much would you say you drank?
-About this much.
Mr. Thornhill, my opinion
is that you are definitely intoxicated.
No question about it.
I won't ask your permission to draw blood.
How disgusting!
"You may refuse to permit a blood test
to be made...
"...but if you do,
your license will be revoked."
It was at this point
that Mr. Thornhill succeeded in escaping...
...from his would-be assassins,
and when they gave chase...
...he, naturally, had to drive
as best he could under the circumstances.
How long have you known your client?
Seven years, Your Honor.
Do you know him to be a reasonable man?
Absolutely.
Mother!
Do you believe there is some credence
to this story?
Credence!
Yes, Your Honor. If my client says
this is what happened...
...I'm certain it must've happened.
Damn right.
I want this turned over
to the County Detectives for investigation.
Call them and have them
come here immediately.
Right, Your Honor.
Counselor, I'm going to set this over
for final disposition tomorrow at : p.m.
I expect you and the defendant to be here,
ready to go to trial.
In the meantime, the County Detectives'll
determine if his story has any basis in fact.
"Basis in fact"? lf I were brought in dead,
you still wouldn't believe--
Wait a minute.
After all, Your Honor,
would I make up such a story?
That is precisely what were intending
to find out, Mr. Thornhill.
Remember me?
-Yes, sir.
-Good.
-Is Mr. Townsend at home?
-No, I'm sorry he's left for the day.
Mrs. Townsend?
-Who shall I say is calling?
-County Detectives.
Come in, please.
This way, please.
This is the room.
I'll call Madam.
You do that.
Here's the sofa where they held me down.
They spilled bourbon all over it.
I'll show you the stains.
Somebody must've cleaned them off.
This is the cabinet
where they keep the liquor.
Scotch, gin, vodka....
And bourbon.
I remember when it used to come
in bottles.
Dear, we were so worried about you!
Did you get home all right?
Of course you did.
Let me look at you.
A little pink-eyed, but aren't we all?
It was a dull party.
You didn't miss a thing.
I want you all to know,
I never saw this woman before last night.
Mrs. Townsend, I'm Capt. Junket
of the Nassau County Detectives.
This is Lt. Harding.
You haven't gotten into trouble, Roger?
-Stop calling me Roger.
-Has he gotten into trouble?
Mr. Thornhill was picked up last night
driving under the influence of alcohol...
...incidentally, in a stolen car...
Stolen car!
...belonging to Mrs. Babson
of Twining Road.
Roger, you said you were going
to call a cab.
You didn't borrow Laura's Mercedes?
No, I didn't borrow Laura's Mercedes!
Mr. Thornhill has told us that he was
brought here against his will last night...
...and forcibly intoxicated by some friends
of your husband and set out on the road.
Do you know anything about this?
Roger was a bit tipsy
when he arrived here by cab for dinner.
She's lying.
And I'm afraid he became even worse
as the evening wore on.
Finally, he told us he had to go home
to sleep it off.
I knew I should've served dinner earlier.
What a performance!
Mrs. Townsend, does the name
George Kaplan mean anything to you?
George Kaplan?
-No.
-I didn't think so.
Where's her husband?
He's the one you should be questioning.
Is there any place he can be reached?
Yes. The United Nations.
He's addressing the General Assembly
this afternoon.
All right. So he's addressing
the General Assembly.
-Sorry we had to bother you.
-No bother at all.
Now, wait a minute.
Do you want to get in touch
with my husband, Captain?
No, Mrs. Townsend,
that won't be necessary.
Do you mean you're not going
to do any more about this?
Pay the two dollars.
Goodbye.
-I don't see why you want me along.
-You lend a certain air of respectability.
Don't be sarcastic, Roger.
There you are, dear. Park yourself there.
Well, here it goes.
Hello, Operator.
Have you got a George Kaplan
staying here?
That's right.
You have?
Room .
Ring it, will you please?
-You see?
-I see.
I hope he clears up this silly business.
You're ruining my whole day.
Did he leave word when he'd be back?
Really?
Thank you.
That's odd. He hasn't answered
his telephone in two days.
Maybe he got locked in the bathroom.
Mother, do me a favor, will you?
Put on that innocent look you do so well
and go to the desk and get the key to .
I wouldn't do such a thing!
-$ ?
-Not for all the money in the world.
-$ ?
-Roger, you are disgraceful.
Car theft, drunk driving,
assaulting an officer, lying to a judge...
...and now, house-breaking.
-No, hotel-breaking. There's a difference.
-Of five to ten years.
Just a minute, please.
Will you be wanting me
to change your bedding, sir?
Yes. Well, but not right now.
I mention it, because the bed
doesn't seem like it's been slept in...
...and I was wondering
if I ought to change the linens.
Thank you for your interest.
Come on.
She seemed to think I'm Kaplan.
I wonder if I look like Kaplan.
-Look who's here.
-Who? Where?
Our friend who's assembling
the General Assembly this afternoon.
Roger, I think we should go.
Don't be nervous.
-I'm not. I'll be late for the bridge club.
-Good. You'll lose less than usual.
Bulletin, Kaplan has dandruff.
In that case, I think we should leave.
Too late.
-You rang for me, sir?
-Yes. Come in for a moment.
-What's your name?
-Elsie, sir.
-Do you know who I am?
-You're Mr. Kaplan.
When did you first see me?
Outside the door.
Out in the hall a couple of minutes ago.
Don't you remember?
Is that the first time you laid eyes on me?
Can I help it if you're never around,
Mr. Kaplan?
Then how do you know I'm Mr. Kaplan?
-What?
-How do you know I'm Mr. Kaplan?
Of course you are.
This is Room isn't it?
So, you're the gentleman in Room
aren't you?
All right, Elsie, thanks.
-Will that be all, sir?
-For the time being, yes.
Valet.
Yes, come in.
-Should I hang it in the closet, Mr. Kaplan?
-Yes, please.
Tell me....
What time did I give you that suit?
Last night. Around : .
-Did I give it to you personally?
-Personally?
No. You called down on the phone
and described the suit to me.
Said it would be hanging in your closet.
Like you always do.
-Anything wrong?
-No, I'm just curious.
-Here. Thanks.
-Thank you.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Kaplan.
Isn't that the damnedest thing?
I'm beginning to think that no one
in the hotel has actually seen Kaplan.
Maybe he has his suits mended
by invisible weavers.
Let me see something.
I don't think that one does
anything for you.
Now, that's much better.
Obviously they've mistaken me
for a much shorter man.
-Should l?
-Certainly not.
Hold that.
It's good to find you in, Mr. Kaplan.
Who is this?
We met only last night and still
you do not recognize my voice.
I should feel offended.
Yes, I know who you are
and I'm not Mr. Kaplan.
Of course not. You answer his telephone,
you live in his hotel room...
...and yet you are not Mr. Kaplan.
Nevertheless,
we are pleased to find you in.
Now wait....
Operator?
Operator, this is Mr. Thorn....
Kaplan in .
Where did that call come from?
From the outside or from the lobby?
-Just a minute. I'll see.
-Hurry, please.
Who was it?
One of the men
who tried to kill me last night.
We're back to that one, are we?
-That call was made from the lobby, sir.
-It was?
They're probably on their way up here.
-Let's get out of here.
-I think I'd like to meet these killers.
You gentlemen aren't really trying
to kill my son, are you?
Lobby, please. Watch your step.
Gentlemen, please. Ladies first.
Come along, ladies.
That's right. Come along. Good.
Roger, will you be home for dinner?
-Where to?
-I don't know. Just keep going.
-Take me to the United Nations.
-Right.
General Assembly Building.
Right.
-I'm being followed. Can you do anything?
-Yes, I can.
Do it.
-May I help you?
-Yes, please.
Where will I find Mr. Lester Townsend?
Mr. Lester Townsend of UNIPO?
Did you have an appointment, sir?
Well, yes. He expects me.
Your name, please?
-My name?
-Yes, please.
Kaplan. George Kaplan.
One moment, please.
Wait for me at the corner of th.
If you'd give this to one of the attendants
in the public lounge, she'll page him.
-Thank you very much.
-You're welcome, Mr. Kaplan.
Page Mr. Lester Townsend, please?
Certainly, Mr. Kaplan.
Mr. Townsend of UNIPO.
Mr. Townsend of UNIPO.
Please call at the communications desk
of the Public Lounge.
You paged me?
-Mr. Kaplan?
-Yes.
You wanted to see Mr. Townsend.
This is Mr. Townsend.
How do you do, Mr. Kaplan?
This isn't Mr. Townsend.
Yes, it is.
There must be some mistake.
Mr. Lester Townsend?
That's me. What can I do for you?
Are you the Townsend
who lives in Glen Cove?
That's right. Are we neighbors?
A large, red-brick house
with a curved, tree-lined driveway?
That's the one.
Were you at home last night?
-You mean in Glen Cove?
-Yes.
I've been staying in my apartment
in town for the last month.
I always do when we're in session here.
What about Mrs. Townsend?
My wife has been dead for many years.
Mr. Kaplan, what's this all about?
Who are those people living in your house?
What people?
The house is completely closed up.
There's just a gardener and his wife
living on the grounds.
Now, Mr. Kaplan, tell me who you are
and what you want.
Do you know this man?
Look!
He's got a knife! Look out!
Listen to me.
I had nothing to do with this.
-Call the police.
-Don't come any nearer!
Get back!
UNITED STATES INTELLIGENCE AGENCY
"The photograph has been identified
as that of Roger Thornhill...
"...a Manhattan advertising executive,
indicating that the name George Kaplan...
"...which he gave to an attendant
in the General Assembly Building...
"...was false.
"A possible motive for the slaying
was suggested by the discovery...
"...that earlier today, Thornhill appeared
in a Glen Cove police court...
"...charged with drunk driving
with a stolen car...
"...and in his defense he charged
that the murder victim, Mr. Townsend...
"...had tried to kill him the night before."
Brother!
What about that?
Does anyone know this Thornhill?
No, not me.
Never heard of him.
Professor?
Apparently, the poor sucker got mistaken
for George Kaplan.
How could he be mistaken for
George Kaplan when he doesn't even exist?
Don't ask me how it happened,
but obviously it happened.
Vandamm's men must have grabbed him
and tried to put him away...
...using Lester Townsend's house.
And the unsuspecting Townsend winds up
with a stray knife in his back.
C'est la guerre.
It's so horribly sad.
Why is it I feel like laughing?
What are we going to do?
Do?
About Mr. Thornhill?
We...do nothing!
Nothing?
That's right. Nothing.
We could congratulate ourselves
on a marvelous stroke of good fortune.
Our non-existent decoy, George Kaplan,
created to divert suspicion...
...from our actual agent,
has fortuitously become a live decoy.
Yes, Professor.
How long do you think he'll stay alive?
That's his problem.
What Mrs. Finley means--
I know what she means.
We can't sit back calmly and wait to see
who kills him first!
Vandamm and company or the police?
What can we do to save him
without endangering our own agent?
Aren't we being just a wee bit callous?
No, my dear woman,
we're not being callous.
We didn't invent our non-existent man
and give him the name of George Kaplan...
...establish elaborate behavior patterns
for him...
...move his prop belongings in and out
of hotel rooms, for our private amusement.
We created George Kaplan...
...and labored successfully
to convince Vandamm...
...that this was our agent hot on his trail
for a desperately important reason.
Nobody's denying that!
Very well, then.
If we make the slightest move to suggest
there's no such agent as George Kaplan...
...give any hint to Vandamm he's pursuing
a decoy instead of our own agent...
...then our agent, working right under
Vandamm's very nose...
...will immediately face suspicion,
exposure...
...and assassination.
Like the two others who went before.
Goodbye, Mr. Thornhill, wherever you are.
Train number ...
...the th Century Limited...
...due to leave in : p.m. for Chicago....
Yes, dear. I know.
Now, listen to me, Mother,
I called the Plaza.
Kaplan checked out and went
to the Ambassador East in Chicago.
That's why I'm--
I can't go to the police. At least not yet.
You saw the newspapers.
My fingerprints are on the knife.
I'm a car thief, a drunk driver,
and a murderer.
I wouldn't have a chance.
I won't have, until I find George Kaplan
who obviously knows what this is about.
No, the train. It's safer.
Because there's no place to hide on a plane
if anyone should recognize me.
You want me to jump off a moving plane?
Well, thank you so much, Mother.
Goodbye.
MANHUNT ON FOR U. N. KILLER
Give me a bedroom
on the th Century, please.
It's leaving in five minutes.
I know. Will you make it snappy?
I think they're all sold out.
Sold out?
You can always go coach.
No, I can't do that.
What time is the next train?
Nothing till : . You're in a hurry, huh?
Could you call them
and see what they have?
Something wrong with your eyes?
Yes, they're sensitive to questions.
Will you call them?
Sure. Sure.
Don't go away!
He's at Window upper level. Hurry.
You're in luck, mister.
-Ticket?
-I'm just seeing some friends off.
I have to know their names.
Come here!
I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry.
-My fault.
Sorry.
He went that way. I think he got off.
All aboard!
-Thank you.
-Quite all right.
Seven parking tickets.
-Good evening, sir. One?
-Please.
A cocktail before dinner?
-Yes, please. A Gibson.
-Right away.
Here we are again.
Yes.
You recommend anything?
The brook trout.
A little "trouty" but quite good.
Sold.
"Brook...
"...trout."
-There you are.
-Yes, sir.
I know. I look vaguely familiar.
Yes.
You feel you've seen me
somewhere before.
I have that effect on people.
It's something about my face.
It's a nice face.
-You think so?
-I wouldn't say it if I didn't.
Oh, you're that type.
What type?
Honest.
Not really.
Good. Because honest women
frighten me.
Why?
Somehow they seem to put me
at a disadvantage.
-Because you're not honest with them?
-Exactly.
Like that business about
the seven parking tickets?
What I mean is,
the moment I meet an attractive woman...
...l have to start pretending I've no desire
to make love to her.
What makes you think
you have to conceal it?
She might find the idea objectionable.
Then again, she might not.
Think how lucky I am
to have been seated here.
Luck had nothing to do with it.
Fate?
I tipped the steward $ to seat you here
if you should come in.
Is that a proposition?
I never discuss love on an empty stomach.
You've already eaten.
But you haven't.
Don't you think it's time
we were introduced?
I'm Eve Kendall. I'm and unmarried.
Now you know everything.
What do you do besides lure men
to their doom on the th Century Limited?
I'm an industrial designer.
Jack Phillips.
Western sales manager
for Kingby Electronics.
No, you're not. You're Roger Thornhill...
...of Madison Avenue...
...and you're wanted for murder
on every front page in America.
Don't be so modest.
Don't worry.
-I won't say a word.
-How come?
I told you.
It's a nice face.
Is that the only reason?
It's going to be a long night.
True.
I don't particularly like the book
I've started.
You know what I mean?
Let me think.
I know exactly what you mean.
R.O.T.
That's my trademark. R.O.T.
Roger O. Thornhill.
What does the "O" stand for?
Nothing.
I'd invite you to my bedroom
if I had a bedroom.
A roomette?
Nothing, not even a ticket.
I've been playing hide-and-seek
ever since the train left New York.
How awkward for you.
Yes, isn't it?
No place to sleep.
I have a large drawing-room all to myself.
That doesn't seem quite fair.
Drawing-room E.
Car .
Such a nice number.
It's easy to remember.
.
See?
No luggage.
So?
You wouldn't happen to have
an extra pair of pajamas, would you?
Wouldn't l?
I wouldn't order any dessert if I were you.
I get the message.
That isn't exactly what I meant.
The train seems to be making
an unscheduled stop.
I saw two men get out of a police car
as we pulled into the station.
They weren't smiling.
You better go out
and tell those police to hurry.
Patience is a virtue.
So is breathing.
Just lie still.
Have you got any olive oil?
Olive oil?
I want to be packed in olive oil
if I'm going to be a sardine.
Come in.
-Who are you?
-State Police.
Your name please?
Eve Kendall. Is anything wrong?
There was a man at your table tonight
in the dining car.
Yes.
Friend of yours?
I never saw him before.
Is this the man?
Yes, I think so.
It's not a very clear picture.
It's a wire-photo.
We just got it from the New York police.
Police?
He's wanted for murder.
Good heavens, no!
The steward said
you left the dining car together.
We might have happened to leave
at the same time but not together.
What did you two talk about?
Talk about?
The waiter said you were getting along fine
with this Thornhill.
Is that his name? Thornhill?
He didn't tell you?
He didn't tell me anything.
All we did was chat about
different kinds of food...
...train travel versus plane travel,
that sort of thing.
Rather innocuous, I must say,
considering he was a fugitive from justice.
Who did he kill?
He didn't say where he was going?
No.
I assumed Chicago.
Perhaps he got off when you got on?
If you happen to see him again, Miss...
Kendall.
...will you let us know?
I'm going to bed and I'll lock my door.
I doubt if I'll see anybody else tonight.
In case you do, we'll be in
the observation car at the rear of the train.
It's comforting to know that.
Good night.
Still breathing?
Either hurry up or get me a snorkel.
I'm looking for the can opener
I stole from the porter.
Hello, there.
Hello.
Tell me, why are you so good to me?
Shall I climb up and tell you why?
I've been thinking...
...it's not safe for you to roam Chicago
looking for this George Kaplan...
...you've been telling me about.
You'll be picked up by the police
the moment you show your face.
It's such a nice face, too.
Don't you think it'd be a better idea
if you stayed in my hotel room...
...while I located him for you
and brought him to you?
I can't let you get involved.
It's too dangerous.
I'm a big girl.
Yeah, and in all the right places, too.
You know, this is ridiculous.
You know that, don't you?
Yes.
I mean, we've hardly met.
That's right.
How do I know you aren't a murderer?
You don't.
Maybe you're planning to murder me,
right here, tonight.
Shall l?
Please do.
Beats flying, doesn't it?
We should stop.
Immediately.
I ought to know more about you.
What more could you know?
You're an advertising man,
that's all I know.
That's right.
The train's a little unsteady.
Who isn't?
What else do you know?
You've got taste in clothes, taste in food....
And taste in women. I like your flavor.
You're very clever with words.
You can probably make them
do anything for you.
Sell people things they don't need...
...make women who don't know you
fall in love with you.
I'm beginning to think I'm underpaid.
Look out.
-Don't bother with the washroom.
-Yes, ma'am.
By the way, I found this on the floor.
Does it belong to you?
Yes, ma'am. I've been looking for it.
-I'll wait outside.
-Thank you.
Thank you, Porter.
Thank you, ma'am. Good night now.
Good night.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
The porter.
So I see.
Where were we?
Here.
Nice of him to have opened the bed.
Only one bed.
That's a good omen, don't you think?
Wonderful.
Do you know what that means?
What? Tell me.
It means you'll sleep on the floor.
A message from the lady in .
What do I do with him
in the morning? Eve.
-You keep walking. I'll catch up.
-Yes, ma'am.
Anything to report?
Yes. I had a fine night's sleep.
I mean, have you seen the man
we're looking for?
Mr. Thornycroft?
Thornhill.
No, no. I'm awfully sorry.
But good luck to you both.
-How are we doing?
-I may collapse at any moment.
Not yet. First we have to run the gauntlet.
Look.
I'm accustomed to having a load on,
but what have you got in these bags?
-Bowling balls, naturally.
-Oh, naturally.
Which one of these has my suit in it?
The small one underneath your right arm.
Thanks. That ought to do the suit
a lot of good.
I'm sure Mr. Kaplan won't mind
a few wrinkles.
Yeah, if he's still there. What time is it?
: .
: ! He may have left
his hotel room by now.
I'll call him for you as soon
as we get inside the station.
Thank you. I can do it.
A redcap in a phone booth?
Slightly suspicious.
All right. Do you know
what you'll tell him?
You want to see him right away.
Terribly urgent. Matter of life and death.
-No explanations.
-Right.
While I'm calling,
you can change your clothes.
Where do you propose I do that?
In Marshall Field's window?
I sort of had the men's room in mind.
Did you, now?
You're the smartest girl
I ever spent the night with on a train.
I think we made it.
Where did he go?
-Which way did he go?
-Where did he go?
I don't know. He took my clothes.
He went up that way.
What took you so long?
I have a big face. Small razor.
Tell me, did you get Kaplan?
Yes.
Fine. What did he say?
He'll see you but not at the hotel
under any circumstances.
-He'll see you on the outside.
-Where? When?
-I've got it all written down for you.
-Thanks.
Take the Greyhound Bus
that leaves Chicago...
...for Indianapolis at : and ask the driver
to let you off at Prairie Stop, Highway .
Prairie Stop, Highway . Good.
It's about an hour-and-a-half's drive
from Chicago.
Fine. I'll rent a car.
No car. Mr. Kaplan said bus.
He wants to be sure you're alone.
All right. What'll I do when I get there?
Just wait beside the road.
He'll be there at : .
-How will I know him?
-He'll know you.
You made the Chicago papers, too.
Have you set your watch for Central time?
Yes, I did that. Thanks.
What's the matter?
Matter?
Yes, you seem.... I don't know.
You seem tense.
You better go before the police
run out of red caps.
We'll see each other again, won't we?
Sometime, I'm sure.
I never had a moment
to thank you properly.
-Please go.
-But where will I find you?
I've got to pick up my bags now.
Yes. These are the checks
for the large cases.
Wait a minute.
Please.
They're coming.
-Hot day.
-I've seen worse.
Are you supposed
to be meeting someone here?
I'm waiting for the bus.
It's due any minute.
Some of them crop-duster pilots get rich
if they live long enough.
Then your name isn't Kaplan?
Can't say it is, 'cause it ain't.
Here she comes. Right on time.
-That's funny.
-What?
That plane's dusting crops
where there ain't no crops.
Get out of here! The other tank may blow!
What happened?
Come back!
Come back! Come back!
Could you let me have
Mr. George Kaplan's room number, please?
Kaplan?
I think he checked out.
Checked out?
That's right.
He checked out at : this morning.
: ? Are you sure?
Yes. He left a forwarding address.
Hotel Sheraton-Johnson,
Rapid City, South Dakota.
: ?
Then how come I got a message
from him at : ....
What's that?
Nothing.
Sorry to bother you again.
Miss Eve Kendall is expecting me.
She's in room four-something.
I've forgotten the number.
Would you mind?
-She's in .
-Yes, that's right. Thanks.
Hello.
Surprised?
Yes.
No getting rid of me, is there?
I could use a drink.
I have some scotch.
With water. No ice.
Two Die As Crop-Duster Plane Crashes
Craft Hits Oil Tanker, Drivers Escape
How did it go today?
The meeting with Kaplan?
He didn't show up.
It's funny, isn't it?
Why funny?
After all those explicit directions
he gave you on the phone.
Maybe I copied them down wrong.
I don't think you got them wrong.
I think you sent me to the right place.
Why don't you call him back again
and see what happened?
I did. He checked out.
Went to South Dakota.
South Dakota?
Rapid City.
What are you going to do next?
I haven't made my mind up yet.
It may depend on you.
On me?
Sure.
You're my little helper, aren't you?
Thank you.
To us. To a long and lasting friendship.
Meaning, from now on, I'm not going
to let you out of my sight, sweetheart.
-I'm afraid you'll have to.
-Oh, no.
I do have plans of my own, you know.
And you do have problems.
Wouldn't it be nice if my problems
and your plans were somehow connected?
Then we could always stay close
to each other...
...and not have to go in separate directions.
Togetherness. You know what I mean?
Go ahead, it can't be for me.
No, not yet. I'm not ready.
What time?
I'll meet you. What's the address?
Yes. Goodbye.
Business?
Yes.
Industrial designing business?
All work and no play.
You should be enjoying yourself tonight
instead of taking phone calls from clients.
What about having dinner with me?
You can't afford to be seen anyplace.
Let's have it up here. Nice and cozy.
No, l....
I can't.
I insist.
I want you to do a favor for me.
-A big, big favor.
-Name it.
I want you to leave right now.
Stay far away from me
and don't come near me again.
We're not going to get involved.
Last night was last night
and that's all there was.
That's all there is. There won't be
anything more between us.
So, please....
Goodbye.
Good luck. No conversation. Just leave.
Right away?
Yes.
No questions asked?
Yes.
I can't do that.
Please.
After dinner.
Now.
After dinner. Fair is fair.
All right.
On one condition.
That you let the hotel valet
do something with this suit first.
You belong in the stockyards
looking like that.
Okay.
There's the phone.
Valet service, please.
-Where are we?
- .
Room .
How quickly can you get a suit
sponged and pressed?
Yes, fast.
minutes? Fine.
Okay. .
He'll be right up.
Better take your things off.
Now, what could a man do
with his clothes off for minutes?
Couldn't he have taken an hour?
You could always take a cold shower.
That's right.
When I was a little boy,
I wouldn't even let my mother undress me.
You're a big boy now.
Tell me, how does a girl like you
get to be a girl like you?
Lucky, I guess.
Not lucky. Naughty. Wicked.
Up to no good.
Ever kill anyone?
Because I bet you could tease a man
to death without half trying.
So, stop trying.
Be with you in a minute.
Trousers, please.
Thank you.
Think I'll take that cold shower after all.
Good.
N. MICHIGAN
This magnificent pair
of Louis Seize Fauteuils.
Original gilt finish.
Upholstered in pure silk damask.
How much may I say to start?
What am I bid?
-$ .
-$ is bid. Thank you.
$ is bid here. Say to $ ?
Thank you. $ is bid.
Say to $ ? I have $ .
$ by the little lady.
Thank you, sir.
$ is bid for the pair. Can I hear $ ?
Will you say $ ?
Can I say the $ ?
Fair warning and last call.
Sold to Mr. Stone, second row. $ .
Lot number .
This lovely Aubusson settee.
In excellent condition.
Please start the bidding.
How much?
$ is offered, thank you.
$ is bid. Say the nine? Go $ .
$ is bid.
Now who'll say $ ?
$ thank you.
$ at $ . Say $ .
Can I hear $ ? Selling at $ .
The three of you together.
Now, that's a picture
only Charles Addams could draw.
Good evening, Mr. Kaplan.
Before we start calling each other names,
you'd better tell me yours.
-I haven't had the pleasure.
-You disappoint me, sir.
I was just going to say that to her.
I've always understood you were
a shrewd fellow at your job.
What possessed you to come
blundering in here like this?
Could it be an overpowering
interest in art?
Yes. The art of survival.
Have you poured any good drunks lately?
He followed me here from the hotel.
He was in your room?
Sure, isn't everybody?
$ . Thank you. Now, say the two.
Do I hear two?
$ thank you.
Now the three. Do I hear three?
$ anyone?
$ . Thank you.
Now, the four. Do I hear four?
$ anyone?
$ is bid.
Say the five. I have $ .
I didn't realize you were an art collector.
I thought you just collected corpses.
$ .
$ . Thank you.
I'll bet you paid plenty
for this little piece of sculpture.
$ .
She's worth every dollar of it,
take it from me.
She puts her heart into her work.
In fact her whole body.
Sold to Mr. Vandamm at $ .
Oh, Mr. Vandamm.
Has anyone told you that you overplay
your various roles rather severely?
First, you're the outraged
Madison Avenue man...
...who claims he's been mistaken
for someone else.
Then, you play the fugitive...
...trying to clear his name of a crime
he didn't commit.
Now you play the peevish lover...
...stung by jealousy and betrayal.
It seems you fellows could stand
less training from the FBI...
...and more from the Actors' Studio.
Apparently, the only performance
that will satisfy you is when I play dead.
Your very next role.
You'll be quite convincing, I assure you.
Thank you. $ is bid.
I have $ go to $ .
$ go four?
$ is bid.
I wonder what subtle form of manslaughter
is next on the program.
Am I to be dropped
into a vat of molten steel...
...and become part of a new skyscraper?
Or are you going to ask this female
to kiss me again and poison me to death?
Who are you kidding?
You have no feelings to hurt.
We've had just about enough of you.
Then, why don't you send for the police?
That's the last thing you'd want, isn't it?
Me in the hands of the police.
There's something I might tell them.
That's why you had her hustle me
on the train last night.
Something tells me I've got a better
chance of survival if I go to the police.
Good night, sweetheart.
Don't think it wasn't nice.
$ there. $ is bid. Say $ ?
May I hear $ ?
They're selling at $ .
Do I hear $ please?
Last call.
Sold. $ . Thank you.
Catalogue number .
This superb example
of this early th century master.
It will enhance any collection of fine art.
What is your pleasure?
How much to start?
$ .
$ is bid.
$ I have. Now $ .
$ is bid. Thank you.
$ ?
I have $ .
$ .
$ is bid. I have $ .
Do I hear $ ?
$ anyone?
$ once.
$ twice.
Last call.
$ .
But the bid is already up to $ sir.
I still say $ .
I have $ .
Do I hear $ ?
$ once, $ twice.
$ .
Sold for $ . And now--
$ for that chromo?
Number in the catalogue.
A Louis Quinze carved
and gilded lit de repos.
Would somebody start the bidding
at $ please?
How do we know it's not a fake?
It looks like a fake.
One thing we know. You're no fake.
You're a genuine idiot.
Thank you.
I wonder if I could...
...ask the gentleman to get into the spirit
of the proceedings.
All right. I'll start it at $ .
$ . Thank you.
$ ?
$ is bid. Go $ .
$ .
$ is bid. Thank you. Go $ .
I have $ .
Go $ . Who'll say $ ?
$ once. Who'll say $ ?
$ twice.
$ . Thank you.
$ is bid. I have $ . Go $ .
Who'll say $ ?
$ .
You mean $ sir.
No, I mean $ .
That's more than it's worth.
I have $ .
Go $ . Who'll say $ ?
Who'll say $ ?
$ once.
$ twice.
Last call. $ .
$ .
$ ?
$ .
I'm sorry, but we can't--
Make it $ .
Would the gentleman please cooperate?
The last bid was $ .
$ . My money is as good
as anybody's.
I have--
-What was it?
-$ .
I have $ once, $ twice--
$ .
Sold for $ .
-I won't let you get away with that.
-You'd better leave, sir.
Take your hands off me or I'll sue you.
-What took you so long?
-Let's take a little walk.
Get moving.
I haven't finished bidding yet.
$ . I bid $ .
I'm sorry, old man. Too bad. Keep trying.
Not so rough!
-Handle with care, fellas.
-In there.
-I'm valuable property.
-In.
I want to thank you for saving my life.
Thank you, my friend. Thank you.
Save it for the stationhouse.
Let's have some smiles and good cheer.
You're about to become heroes.
Don't you know who I am?
We'll find out as soon as we book you
for being drunk and disorderly.
That's chicken feed. You've hit the jackpot.
"Chicago police capture
United Nations killer."
My name is Roger Thornhill.
Here.
-It's him.
-That's right. Congratulations.
This is . Sergeant Flamm.
We've got a man here who answers
to the description of Thornhill, Roger.
Code .
Wanted by NYPD. Positive ID.
Absolutely. No question.
Michigan Avenue. Proceeding north
to nd precinct.
What?
Come again!
Are you sure?
Okay. Right.
Yeah, I got it.
off and clear.
-Where are we going?
-The airport.
-For what?
-Orders.
Airport? I'm not going to any airport.
I want to be taken to police headquarters.
You do, huh?
Why do you think I sent for you?
How about this guy? He sent for us!
Sit back!
Didn't you hear? I want to be taken
to police headquarters.
I'm a dangerous assassin.
I'm a mad killer on the loose!
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
NORTHWEST
They said right here.
Does anyone mind if I sit down?
I've been running all day.
Thought I'd never make it.
Getting too old for this kind of work.
All right, men. Thank you.
This way, Mr. Thornhill.
We haven't got much time.
This way is more private.
I don't think I caught your name.
I don't think I pitched it.
You're police, aren't you? Or is it FBI?
FBI, CIA, ONI.
We're all in the same alphabet soup.
You can stick this in your alphabet soup.
I had nothing to do with that killing.
-We know that.
-You know it?
Then why did you let the police
chase me all over the map?
We never interfere with the police
unless absolutely necessary.
It has become necessary.
Then, I take it I'm to be cleared.
I wish you'd walk faster, Mr. Thornhill.
We'll miss the plane.
Where are we going?
New York or Washington?
Rapid City, South Dakota.
Rapid City? What for?
It's near Mt. Rushmore.
No, thank you. I've seen Mt. Rushmore.
So has your friend Mr. Vandamm.
Vandamm?
A rather formidable gentleman.
What about that treacherous
little tramp with him?
Miss Kendall?
His mistress. We know all about her.
Tell me, what's Vandamm up to?
You could say he's a sort
of importer-exporter.
Of what?
Government secrets, perhaps.
Then why don't you grab him?
There's still too much we don't know
about his organization.
I see. What's all this got to do
with Mt. Rushmore?
Vandamm has a place near there.
We think it's his jumping-off point
to leave the country tomorrow night.
-Are you going to stop him?
-No.
Then why are we going there?
To set his mind at ease
about George Kaplan.
Oh, you, huh?
You're George Kaplan, aren't you?
There is no such person as George Kaplan.
What do you mean? I've been in his room.
I've tried on his clothes.
He's got short sleeves and dandruff!
Believe me, he doesn't exist.
Which is why I'm going to have to ask you
to go on being him for the next hours.
Come on! We'll discuss it on the plane.
You started the decoy business
without me, you finish it without me!
We might have
if you hadn't stumbled into it.
You should give me a medal and a vacation
instead of asking me to be a target...
...just so your special agent
doesn't get shot at!
Not shot at, Mr. Thornhill. Found out.
Once found out they're as good as dead.
Thanks to you,
clouds of suspicion are already forming.
Thanks to me?
You listen to me.
I'm an advertising man, not a red herring!
I've got a job, a secretary, a mother...
...two ex-wives and several bartenders
dependent upon me...
...and I don't intend to disappoint them
by getting myself killed!
The answer is no.
-Is that final?
-Yes.
-Goodbye, then.
-Goodbye.
If there was a chance of changing
your mind I'd talk about Miss Kendall...
...of whom you so obviously disapprove.
Yes, for using sex
like some people use a fly-swatter.
I suppose it doesn't matter to you...
...that she was probably forced to do
whatever she did to protect herself.
To protect herself from what?
Exposure, assassination.
You see, Mr. Thornhill, she's....
She's one of our agents.
Oh, no!
I know you didn't mean it...
...but I'm afraid you have put her
in an extremely dangerous situation.
And much more than her life is at stake.
Suppose they don't come?
They'll come.
I don't like the way Teddy Roosevelt
is looking at me.
Perhaps he's trying to give you
one last word of caution, Mr. Kaplan.
"Speak softly, and carry a big stick."
He's trying to tell me not to go through
with this harebrained scheme.
He doesn't know to what extent
you are the cause of our present trouble.
I don't know that I care
to accept that charge.
If you hadn't made yourself so attractive
to Miss Kendall that she fell for you...
And vice versa.
...our friend Vandamm wouldn't be
losing faith in her loyalty now.
It was quite obvious to him last night
that she had become emotionally involved.
Worst of all, with a man he thinks
is a government agent.
Are you trying to tell me
that I'm irresistible?
I'm trying to remind you
that it's your responsibility...
...to help us restore her
to Vandamm's good graces...
...until he leaves the country tonight.
All right, all right.
But, after tonight....
My blessings on you both!
Here they are!
Good afternoon, Mr. Kaplan.
Not her!
Did I misunderstand you
about bringing her here?
We'll get to that later.
I suppose you were surprised
to get my call.
Not at all. I knew the police
would release you, Mr. Kaplan.
By the way, I want to compliment you
on your colorful exit...
...from the auction gallery.
Thank you.
And now what little drama
are we here for today?
I don't for a moment believe that
you invited me to these gay surroundings...
...to come to a business arrangement.
Suppose I tell you that I not only know
when you're leaving the country tonight...
...but the latitude and longitude
of your rendezvous...
...and your ultimate destination.
You wouldn't care to carry my bags,
would you?
Perhaps you'd be interested in the price,
just the same.
The price?
For doing nothing to stop you.
How much did you have in mind?
I want the girl.
I want her to get what's coming to her.
Turn her over to me. I'll see there's
enough pinned on her to keep her...
...uncomfortable for the rest of her life.
You do that,
and I'll look the other way tonight.
She really did get under your skin.
We're not talking about my skin.
We're talking about yours.
-I'm offering you a chance to save it.
-To exchange it!
Put it any way you like.
I'm curious, Mr. Kaplan.
What made you think that my feelings
for her may have deteriorated...
...to the point where I would trade her in
for a little peace of mind?
I don't deduce.
I observe.
Phillip, if you don't mind,
I'm going back to the house now.
Just a second, you.
Stay away from me! Let go!
Let go of me!
Stay away from me! Let go!
Let go of me!
Save the phony tears.
You just get back.
You little fool!
You just stay away from me.
No good. You can't get involved in this.
-Don't touch anything.
-Stand back.
Stand back.
Don't be long.
Hello.
Hello.
Are you all right?
Yes, I think so.
I asked the Professor
if I could see you again.
There's not much time.
Isn't there?
I wanted to tell you....
I mean, apologize.
No need.
I understand.
All in the line of duty.
I did treat you miserably.
I hated you for it.
I didn't want you to go on thinking....
I used some pretty harsh words, I'm sorry.
-They hurt deeply.
-Naturally, if I'd known....
I couldn't tell you.
-Of course not.
-Could l?
No, I guess not.
You didn't get hurt. I'm so relieved.
Of course I was. How would you have felt?
I mean in the cafeteria, when you fell.
When I shot you with the blanks.
Oh, that. No.
You did it rather well, I thought.
Yes, I thought I was quite graceful.
Considering it's not really
your kind of work.
No, I got into it by accident.
What's your excuse?
I met Phillip Vandamm at a party one night
and saw only his charm.
I guess I had nothing to do that weekend...
...so I decided to fall in love.
That's nice.
Eventually, the Professor and his
Washington colleagues approached me...
...with a few sordid details about Phillip
and he told me that...
...my relationship with him
made me "uniquely valuable" to them.
So you became a Girl Scout?
It was the first time anyone ever asked me
to do anything worthwhile.
Has life been like that?
How come?
Men like you.
What's wrong with men like me?
They don't believe in marriage.
I've been married twice.
See what I mean?
I may go back to hating you.
It was more fun.
Goodbye, darling.
Wait. Not so soon.
I must get back and convince them...
...that I took the long way
so nobody would follow me.
Couldn't we stand like this
for just a few hours?
Just this time you're supposed
to be critically wounded!
I never felt more alive.
Whose side are you on?
Yours, always, darling.
Please don't undermine my resolve,
just when I need it most.
I guess it's off to the hospital for me
and back to danger for you.
I don't like it a bit.
It's much safer now, thanks to you,
my darling decoy.
Don't thank me. I couldn't stand it.
All right. I won't.
After your malevolent friend Vandamm
takes off tonight...
...we'll get together and do a lot of
apologizing to each other, in private.
You know that can't be.
Of course it can be!
He has told you, hasn't he?
Told me what?
You've got to get moving.
-What didn't you tell me?
-Why didn't you?
She's going off with Vandamm tonight
on the plane.
She's going off with Vandamm?
That's why we went to such lengths
to make her a fugitive from justice.
So that Vandamm couldn't decline
to take her along.
I needn't tell you how valuable
she can be to us over there.
You lied to me!
You said that after tonight--
I needed your help.
You got it, all right.
Don't be angry.
-You think I'll let you go through with this?
-She has to.
Nobody has to do anything!
I don't like the games you play!
War is hell, Mr. Thornhill,
even when it's a cold one.
If you can't lick the Vandamms
of this world...
...without asking girls to bed down
and fly away with them...
...and probably never come back...
...perhaps you should learn
how to lose a few cold wars.
We're already doing that.
-I won't let you do this. Get out.
-Please don't spoil everything.
...shot Mr. Kaplan twice in full view
of horrified men, women and children...
...who had come to the park
to see the famed Mt. Rushmore monument.
Witnesses described the assailant as
an attractive blonde in her late twenties.
Kaplan, who was taken to the hospital
in critical condition...
...has been tentatively identified
as an employee of the federal government.
The tragedy developed
with startling suddenness.
Chris Swenson,
a busboy in the Mt. Rushmore cafeteria...
...stated that he heard voices raised in--
Here we are.
Slacks, a shirt and these.
Thanks.
That'll do for you around here
for the next couple of days.
The next couple of days?
Hey, what's this?
That's where I hit the chair
doing that phony fall in the cafeteria.
You and your dopey schemes. Shooting.
-Otherwise, feeling all right?
-Oh, yes. Fine.
Considering your driver has
a sledgehammer for a hand.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
That's all right. I guess I deserved it.
I guess I deserve that locked door, too.
If you were seen wandering about healthy,
it could prove fatal to Miss Kendall.
-I've begun to forget her already.
-Good.
-Better that way.
-Yeah, much.
Inside of an hour, she'll be gone.
How's everything out in Rapid City?
Everything's fine.
Mr. Kaplan's untimely shooting has
acquired the authority of the printed word.
Everyone's been cooperating beautifully.
Now you can include me.
-I'm a cooperator.
-I'm most grateful.
-Care to do me a favor in return?
-Anything.
I'd like a drink.
Will you get me some bourbon?
A pint will do.
Can I join you?
If you're gonna join me,
you better make it a quart.
See you in a few minutes.
-Stop!
-Excuse me.
Stop.
-Don't you want me to take you up there?
-No, thanks. Never mind. This is fine.
-There's nothing to worry about.
-I just lost my head.
I'm not just saying this
to make you feel better.
I mean it.
I just didn't know what I was doing.
He wants to destroy you.
You had to protect yourself.
But not endanger you!
Rubbish.
Soon we'll be off together and I shall
dedicate myself to your happiness.
What's the situation, Leonard?
-About the plane, you mean?
-Of course.
What was the last report?
Over Whitestone on the hour.
. Descending.
-About ten minutes?
-At the most.
And now....
I wonder if I might have a few words
of parting with you, sir?
Certainly.
In private?
I'll get my things.
How does one say goodbye...
...to one's right arm?
In your case,
you'll wish you had cut it off sooner.
I know you're terribly fond
of Miss Kendall....
It couldn't have been anything.
You must've had some doubts
about her yourself.
And still do.
Rubbish.
Why else would you've decided
not to tell her that...
...our little treasure here
has a bellyful of microfilm?
You seem to be trying to fill mine
with rotten apples.
Sometimes the truth does taste
like worms.
I've heard nothing but innuendoes.
Call it my "woman's intuition" if you will,
but I've never trusted neatness.
Neatness is always the result
of deliberate planning.
She shot him in a moment
of fear and anger.
You were there, you saw it yourself.
Yes.
And thereby wrapped everything up
into one very neat and tidy bundle.
A: She removed any doubts
you may have had about her.
What did you call it? Her "devotion"?
B: She gave herself an urgent reason
to be taken to the other side with you...
...in case you decided to change your mind.
I think you're jealous.
No, I mean it. I'm very touched.
Leonard!
The gun she shot Kaplan with.
I found it in her luggage.
It's an old trick. Shoot one of your own
to show that you're not one of them.
They've just freshened it up a bit
with blank cartridges.
What was that noise?
Yes, we wondered what it was, too.
Didn't we, Leonard?
Hurry down, darling. It's time to leave.
In a moment.
You're not taking her on that plane
with you?
Of course I am.
Like our friends,
l, too, believe in neatness, Leonard.
This matter is best disposed of
from a great height...
...over water.
How about a little champagne
before we go?
I'd love it.
It may not be cold enough.
On the rocks it'll be all right.
Are you sure?
R.O.T.
They're on to you.
I'm in your room.
To you, my dear...
...and all the lovely moments
we've had together.
Thank you.
There he is.
Jump in, Leonard. The champagne's fine.
There isn't time.
You always were a spoilsport, weren't you?
One of my most valuable attributes...
...as it now turns out.
It would please me if you'd think of me
as being along on this journey...
...if only in spirit.
I shall.
He's heading pretty far out
on the north flag and awfully high.
I guess he's going to play it safe
with a long, slow descent.
You couldn't ask
for a better night than this.
Ceiling and possibilities unlimited.
There he goes, starting his turn.
We'd better get moving.
He should have his wheels on the ground
inside of three minutes.
-Come along, Eve.
-All right.
I think I left my earrings upstairs.
I'll be right down.
We can go through the window.
There's a car downstairs!
What are you doing?
You'll ruin everything!
They know about the fake shooting!
They'll kill you!
What?
Leonard found the gun in your luggage!
The figure they got at the auction
is filled with microfilm!
That's how he's been getting it.
Whatever you do, don't get on that plane!
Don't worry, Anna.
Arrangements have been made.
You and your husband will be
in Canada by morning.
-Thank you very much, sir.
-Be careful.
We will.
God bless you!
Stay where you are!
Sit down.
As soon as the plane leaves,
my husband and Mr. Leonard will be back.
What is it?
I was wondering about my earrings.
They'll turn up.
When you return to New York,
say goodbye to my sister.
Thank her for her performance
as Mrs. Townsend.
Tell your knife-throwing chum
that I've reassured his wife.
That's all, Leonard.
Get that figure back!
The housekeeper had me pinned down
for five minutes...
...before I realized
it was that silly gun of yours.
-I see you've got the pumpkin.
-Yes.
This is no good.
We're on top of the monument.
-What'll we do?
-Climb down.
We can't.
Here they come. We have no choice.
If we ever get out of this alive...
...let's go back to New York
on the train together.
All right?
Is that a proposition?
It's a proposal, sweetie.
What happened to the first two marriages?
My wives divorced me.
Why?
I think they said I led too dull a life.
Come on.
Are you all right?
Come on.
Help!
Help me!
Thank you, Sergeant.
That wasn't very sporting,
using real bullets?
Here, reach. Now.
I'm trying.
Come on, I've got you.
-Up!
-I can't make it!
Yes, you can.
Come on.
Pull harder!
Come along, Mrs. Thornhill.
Roger, this is silly.
I know, but I'm sentimental.