101 Dalmations Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the 101 Dalmations script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the 1961 animated Disney movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of 101 Dalmations. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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101 Dalmations Script


 

                   

My story begins

in London...



 

                   

not so very long ago.



 

                   

Yet so much has happened since then,

that it seems like an eternity.



 

                   

At that time,

I lived with my pet...



 

                   

in a bachelor flat

just off Regents Park.



 

                   

It was a

beautiful spring day,



 

                   

a tedious time of the year

for bachelors.



 

                   

Oh... that's my pet,

Roger Radcliff,



 

                   

a musician of sorts.



  

                   

I'm the one

with the spots.



  

                   

My name's Pongo.



  

                   

As far as I could see,



  

                   

the old notion that

a bachelor's life was so...



  

                   

glamorous and carefree

was all nonsense.



  

                   

It was downright dull.



  

                   

It was plain to see that

my old pet needed someone.



  

                   

But if it were left up to Roger,

we'd be bachelors forever.



  

                   

He was married to his work,

writing songs.



  

                   

Songs about romance...

of all things,



  

                   

something he knew

absolutely nothing about.



  

                   

Oh, he's intelligent enough,

as humans go.



  

                   

And I think you could say, Roger is

a rather handsome animal in his way.



  

                   

I could see no reason

why my pet...



  

                   

didn't deserve

an attractive mate.



  

                   

At least I was determined

to do my best.



  

                   

Of course, dogs are a pretty

poor judge of human beauty.



  

                   

But I had

a rough idea...



  

                   

of what

to look for.



  

                   

Hmm!

Unusual breed.



  

                   

Very unusual.



  

                   

Hmm!

Oh, surely not.



  

                   

Well now,

what have we here?



  

                   

Hmm.



  

                   

Well, a little...

too short coupled.



  

                   

Nope!



  

                   

I say!

Well, I do say!



  

                   

Now there's

a fancy breed.



  

                   

Hmm.

Perhaps a little too fancy.



  

                   

Yes, much too fancy.



  

                   

Too old.

Too young.



  

                   

It was a problem,

a realproblem.



  

                   

Well, now that's

a bit more like it!



  

                   

The most beautiful creature

on four legs!



  

                   

Now if only the girl...



  

                   

Well!

She's very lovely too.



  

                   

It was almost too good

to be true.



  

                   

I'd never find another pair

like that,



  

                   

not if I looked

for     years.



  

                   

Ah, they're heading

for the park.



  

                   

A perfect meeting place...

if I can only arrange it.



  

                   

Uh-oh... but Roger never

stopped work 'til after  :  .



  

                   

That would be

too late.



  

                   

After  :   already.



  

                   

Fancy that.



  

                   

All right, Pongo.

All right, boy.



  

                   

Pongo, boy,

take it easy!



  

                   

What's all

the hurry?



  

                   

Pongo, boy,

slow down.



  

                   

I was afraid we'd missed them.

Perhaps they passed on by the park.



  

                   

Then suddenly...

I spotted them.



  

                   

It was a perfect situation

if I plannedit right.



  

                   

I couldn't depend on Roger.

I knew what he'd do.



  

                   

He'd settle on the grass, puff

his pipe and that would be it.



  

                   

No, it was all

up to me.



  

                   

Well.



  

                   

At first I had

no particular plan,



  

                   

just anything

to attract attention.



  

                   

You know,

stir things up a bit.



  

                   

Pongo,

you silly old thing!



  

                   

C'm on!

C'm on, let's have it, boy.



  

                   

Pongo!



  

                   

Pongo!



  

                   

For a while,

it seemed to work.



  

                   

At least they

had seen one another.



  

                   

Things were going along

first-rate.



  

                   

But for some strange reason

they left!



  

                   

C'mon, you old renegade.

We're going home.



  

                   

But I wasn't giving up.



  

                   

I was determined that somehow

they just had to meet.



  

                   

- Oh!

- Ohhh!



  

                   

I beg your pardon.

Please excuse me.



  

                   

I must say,

what on earth!



  

                   

- Oh, really. Good heavens.

- Oh, dear.



  

                   

- Ohh!

- Ahh, ahh!



  

                   

Oh, oh.



  

                   

Oh, my new spring suit

and my new hat!



  

                   

Ah, ah...

I'm terribly sorry.



  

                   

Please let me

help you.



  

                   

I'm so sorry.



  

                   

I don't know

what's come over him.



  

                   

I'm so sorry. He's never

acted this way before.



  

                   

Please, just go away.

You've done enough.



  

                   

Please?

Oh.



  

                   

Oh, I say.

Here, take mine.



  

                   

Oh.



  

                   

Wilt thou love her,

comfort her,



  

                   

honour and keep her

in sickness and in health;



  

                   

and forsaking

all others,



  

                   

keep thee only unto her

so long as ye both shall live?



   

                   

I will.



   

                   

For the first

six months or so...



   

                   

we lived in a small house

near the park,



   

                   

a modest little place...



   

                   

but just right for two couples

who were just starting out.



   

                   

Perdita, darling,

are you all right?



   

                   

Oh, of course, dear.



   

                   

After all, dogs were having

puppies long before our time.



   

                   

Oh, that's Nanny,

a wonderful cook and housekeeper.



   

                   

She's such a kind,

understanding soul.



   

                   

You know,



   

                   

at times she seems

almost canine.



   

                   

Roger, dear,



   

                   

tea time.



   

                   

Tea time!



   

                   

Melody first, my dear.



   

                   

And then the lyrics,

hmm?



   

                   

Oh, Pongo... it's her.

It's that devil woman.



   

                   

Oh, must be Cruella, your

dearly devoted old schoolmate.



   

                   

Cruella de Vil.



   

                   

That's it!



   

                   

- Oh, Roger.



   

                   

Ohh!



   

                   

Roger,

she'll hear you.



   

                   

Let her in, Nanny.



   

                   

- Anita, darling!

- How are you?



   

                   

Miserable as usual.

Perfectly wretched!



   

                   

Where are they?

Where are they?



   

                   

For heaven sakes,

where are they?



   

                   

- Who, Cruella?

- The puppies! The puppies.



   

                   

No time for games.

Where are the little brutes?



   

                   

It'll be at least three weeks.

No rushing these things.



   

                   

Anita, you're such a wit.



   

                   

Here, dog, here.



   

                   

Here, dog.



   

                   

Cruella, isn't that

a new fur coat?



   

                   

My only true love,

darling.



   

                   

I live for furs.

I worship furs!



   

                   

Is there a woman in this

wretched worldw ho doesn't?



   

                   

Oh, I'd like a nice fur,

but there are many other thing...



   

                   

Sweet, simple Anita.



   

                   

I know, I know!



   

                   

This horrid little house

is your dream castle.



   

                   

And poor Roger is your

bold and fearless Sir Galahad!



   

                   

Oh, Cruella.



   

                   

Then of course you have

your little spotted friends.



   

                   

Oh yes,



   

                   

I must say... such perfectly

beautiful coats.



   

                   

- Won't you have some tea?

- I've got to run.



   

                   

Let me know when

the puppies arrive.



   

                   

- You will, won't you, dear?

- Yes, Cruella.



   

                   

Don't forget, it's a promise.

See you in three weeks.



   

                   

Cheerio, darling.



   

                   

Ohh!



   

                   

You're no help.



   

                   

Roger,

you are an idiot!



   

                   

- Perdy?

- That witch. That devil woman.



   

                   

She wants our puppies.

That's all she's after.



   

                   

Don't worry, Perdy.

They're on to her.



   

                   

- Nothing's going to happen

to our puppies.

- What does she want with them?



   

                   

She can't possibly

love them.



   

                   

Oh, Pongo.



   

                   

I was so happy at first,

but now I...



   

                   

Oh, I...



   

                   

I wish we weren't

having any.



   

                   

Poor Perdita.

Of course, she had no choice.



   

                   

The puppies arrived

right on schedule...



   

                   

one wild and stormy night

in October.



   

                   

Ohh!



   

                   

Steady, boy.



   

                   

The puppies are here!



   

                   

Oh... the puppies

are here!



   

                   

How many?



   

                   

- Eight.

- Eight?



   

                   

By George, Pongo!

Eight puppies.



   

                   

Ten.



   

                   

- Eleven.

- Eleven.



   

                   

Eleven?

Eleven puppies, Pongo.



   

                   

Wait a minute now,

wait a minute... thirteen!



   

                   

No, no, no.

Fourteen.



   

                   

- Ohh... fifteen!

- Fifteen?



   

                   

And the mother's

doing fine, love.



   

                   

You ducky thing, you.



   

                   

Fifteen puppies?



   

                   

Why, Pongo,

that's marvellous!



   

                   

It's fabulous!



   

                   

Why, you old rascal!



   

                   

Fourteen.



   

                   

Just fourteen.



   

                   

We lost one.



   

                   

Poor little thing.



   

                   

Oh, Pongo, boy.



   

                   

It's just one

of those things.



   

                   

And yet?



   

                   

And yet I wonder.



   

                   

Look, Pongo.



   

                   

Anita!



   

                   

Nanny.

Fifteen!



   

                   

We still have

fifteen!



   

                   

Oh, Roger, he's all right!

Thank heaven.



   

                   

See? He's just

as good as new.



   

                   

Can you imagine, Roger,

fifteen puppies!



   

                   

Fifteen.

Fifteen puppies!



   

                   

How marvellous.



   

                   

How marvellous,

how perfectly... ugh!



   

                   

The devil take it.

They're mongrels... no spots!



   

                   

No spots at all.

What a horrid little white rat.



   

                   

They're not mongrels!



   

                   

They'll get their spots.

Just wait and see.



   

                   

That's right. They'll have

their spots in a few weeks.



   

                   

Oh, well, in that case I'll

take them all. The whole litter.



   

                   

Just name your price, dear.



   

                   

I'm afraid

we can't give them up.



   

                   

- Poor Perdita, she'd be heartbroken.

- Anita, don't be ridiculous.



   

                   

You can't afford to keep them.

You can scarcely feed yourselves.



   

                   

I'm sure

we'll get along.



   

                   

Yes, I know. I know!



   

                   

Roger's...

Roger's songs!



   

                   

Enough of this nonsense. I'll pay you

twice what they're worth.



   

                   

I'm being

more than generous.



   

                   

Blast this pen.



   

                   

Blast this wretched,

wretched pen!



   

                   

When can the puppies

leave their mother?



   

                   

Two weeks?

Three weeks?



   

                   

Never.



   

                   

- What?

- We're not selling the puppies.



   

                   

Not a single one.

Do you understand?



   

                   

Anita, is he serious?



   

                   

I really

don't know Roger.



   

                   

- Cruella, he...

- Surely he must be joking!



   

                   

No, no, no.

I mean it.



   

                   

You're not getting one.

Not one.



   

                   

And that's... final.



   

                   

Why, you horrid man!



   

                   

You... you...



   

                   

All right, keep the little

beasts for all I care.



   

                   

Do as you like with them.

Drown them!



   

                   

But I warn you, Anita,

I'm through with all of you!



   

                   

I'll get even.

Just wait.



   

                   

You'll be sorry,

you fools!



   

                   

You... you idiots!



   

                   

Oh, Roger!

You were magnificent, darling.



   

                   

He was a bloomin' hero,

ma'am!



   

                   

Indeed he was.

A bloomin' hero!



   

                   

Perdy?

Perdy, darling?



   

                   

We're keeping the puppies,

every single one of them.



   

                   

My ol'pet Roger, he told

that devil woman off.



   

                   

He told her off, Perdy.

She's gone.



   

                   

- Darling, she's gone for good.

- Oh, Pongo.



   

                   

- C'mon, Thunderbolt.

- C'mon, Thunderbolt.



   

                   

Go get him, Thunder.



   

                   

After him, boy.



   

                   

He'll get that

dirty ol' horse thief.



   

                   

Old Thunderbolt's the greatest

dog in the whole world.



   

                   

He's even better

than Dad.



   

                   

No dog's better

than Dad.



   

                   

What's he going to do,

Dad?



   

                   

Shh, shh.

Let's just wait and see.



   

                   

Look at him run,

the old coward.



   

                   

That old dirty Dawson!



   

                   

The yellow-livered

old skunk!



   

                   

I'd like to tear

his gizzard out.



   

                   

Why, Patch, where did

you ever hear such talk?



   

                   

Certainly not

from your mother.



   

                   

- Watch out, Thunder.

- Don't worry, Penny.



   

                   

He'll get that

yellow-livered...



   

                   

Well, he'll get him,

all right.



   

                   

Lucky, get down.

We can't see.



   

                   

Mother,

make him get down.



   

                   

C'mon, Lucky.

Down, dear.



   

                   

Missed him.

Missed him by a mile.



   

                   

I'm hungry, mother.

I'm hungry.



   

                   

Rolly, you've just had

your dinner.



   

                   

But I am,

just the same.



   

                   

I'm so hungry I could eat...

a whole elephant.



   

                   

Shh!



   

                   

There he is,

behind that rock.



   

                   

Oh, dear.

He shot poor Thunder.



   

                   

He missed him. Ol' Thunder's

pretending... I think.



   

                   

See? What did I tell you?

That's one of his tricks.



   

                   

- Lucky, get do wn.

- Ha-ha-ha!



   

                   

I'm hungry, Mother.

I really am.



   

                   

Don't miss next week's episode.

Who will triumph?



   

                   

Ol' Thunder

always wins!



   

                   

And speaking of champions,

friends,



   

                   

Kanine Krunchies is the

champion of all dog biscuits.



   

                   

§Kanin e Krunchies

can't be beat§



   

                   

§They make each meal

a special treat§



   

                   

§Happy dogs are those who eat

nutritious Kanine Krunchies§



   

                   

Perdy, we better get these

little nippers off to bed...



   

                   

if we're going for a...

w-a-l-k.



   

                   

- We want to go too, Mother.

- Can we, Mother?



   

                   

We never

get to go.



   

                   

Come along, children.

Bedtime.



   

                   

But we're not a...

...bit sleepy.



   

                   

We want to go

for a walk in the park.



   

                   

- Dad, can we?

- Better do as your mother says.



   

                   

One, two,

three, four...



   

                   

five, six...

seven...



   

                   

eight, nine, ten, eleven,

twelve, thirteen...



   

                   

I'm not sleepy.

I'm hungry.



   

                   

fourteen.



   

                   

Hmm?



   

                   

Remember, friends,

just send five...



   

                   

Lucky, you little rascal,

let's go.



   

                   

There they go,

Horace, me lad,



   

                   

out for their

evening constitutional.



   

                   

A lovely pair

of turtledoves.



   

                   

Around the corner

and off to the park.



   

                   

Yeah, I don't like it,

Jasper.



   

                   

One more pinch and

they'll throw the keys away.



   

                   

Come off it, Horace.

We're getting plenty of boodle.



   

                   

Yes, but...

I've been thinkin'.



   

                   

You've been thinkin'?

I warned you about thinkin'.



   

                   

I've got the knob for this job,

so let's get on with it.



   

                   

Ah, nobody home

but the little ol' cook.



   

                   

You just leave her

to ol' Jasper.



   

                   

He can handle her

real diplomatic-like.



   

                   

Yeah, but I still

don't like it.



   

                   

Here, here.

Patch, you settle down.



   

                   

Oh, dear.



   

                   

Go to sleep now.

Close your little eyes.



   

                   

That's a good

little one.



   

                   

Who do you suppose?



   

                   

Good evening, ma'am.



   

                   

We're here to inspect

the wiring and the switches.



   

                   

- We're from the gas company.

- Electric, electric.



   

                   

Electric company.



   

                   

But we didn't call

for any inspection.



   

                   

There's a new act

just been passed in Parliament.



   

                   

Comes under the heading

of "Defence of the Realm Act".



   

                   

It's for your own safety,

ma'am.



   

                   

I don't care

whatever it says.



   

                   

You're not coming in here

with the Mister and Missus gone.



   

                   

Come off it, Ducky.

We got no time to palaver.



   

                   

We got a job to do.

Excuse me!



   

                   

What's the matter

with you two?



   

                   

You got cloth ears?

You're not coming in!



   

                   

She's a regular little tartar,

ain't she, Horace?



   

                   

Don't you dare go up there,

you long-legged lummox!



   

                   

Now I mean it.



   

                   

If you don't get out

of this house...



   

                   

I'll call the police,

I will.



   

                   

Now be off with you,

you big weasel!



   

                   

Now you've been

gone and done it.



   

                   

You've cut me

to the quick, lady.



   

                   

Why, I wouldn 't stay here

if you asked me.



   

                   

Not even

for a cup of tea.



   

                   

Horace, me lad, I've got a sneaky

suspicion we're not welcome here.



   

                   

Pack up.

We're leaving.



   

                   

Sharp's the word

and quick's the action.



   

                   

Let me out!

Help!



   

                   

I'll call the police.

Help!



   

                   

Goodnight, Ducky.

Ta-ta!



   

                   

Those good-for-nothing

hoodlums!



   

                   

Electric company.

Hmph!



   

                   

They're nothing but common

sneak thieves.



   

                   

I'll bet they made off

with the good silver.



   

                   

Why, I bet they took

every last...



   

                   

The puppies!



   

                   

They're gone!

Patch? Lucky? Rolly?



   

                   

They took

the puppies!



   

                   

Oh...

Whatever will I do?



   

                   

Those scoundrels!

They stole the puppies.



   

                   

Police? Help!

The puppies.



   

                   

Police!

Somebody help me!



   

                   

Help! Help! Help!



   

                   

"Dognapping!"

Can you imagine such a thing?



   

                   

"   puppies stolen".

They are darling little things.



   

                   

Anita...



   

                   

and her bashful Beethoven!



   

                   

Pipe and all!



   

                   

Oh, Roger,

you are a fool!



   

                   

Hello?



   

                   

Jasper!

Jasper, you idiot!



   

                   

- How dare you call here.

- We don't want no more of this,

we want our boodle!



   

                   

We'll settle

for half!



   

                   

Not one schilling

'til the job's done.



   

                   

Jasper! Jasper!



   

                   

It's in the blinkin' papers,

pictures and all!



   

                   

Hang the papers!

It'll be forgotten tomorrow.



   

                   

- I don't like it.

- Shut up, you idiot!



   

                   

What?



   

                   

Not you, miss.

I mean Horace!



   

                   

Why, you imbecile!



   

                   

Maybe it's Scotland Yard.



   

                   

Maybe they found something.

Hello, Inspector?



   

                   

- Is Anita there?

- Who?



   

                   

-Anita!

- Uh... it's for you.



   

                   

Hello?



   

                   

Anita, darling.

What a dreadful thing.



   

                   

I just saw the papers.

I couldn't believe it.



   

                   

Yes, Cruella.

It was quite a shock.



   

                   

- Is she calling to confess?

- Roger, please!



   

                   

- She's a sly one.

- We're doing everything possible.



   

                   

- Have you

called the police?

- Yes, Scotland Yard.



   

                   

- But I'm afraid...

- Where are they?



   

                   

You idiot!



   

                   

- Anita!

- Sorry, Cruella.



   

                   

If there's any news,

we'll let you know.



   

                   

Thank you, Cruella.



   

                   

Roger, I admit she's eccentric,

but she's not a thief.



   

                   

Well, she's still number one

suspect in my book!



   

                   

She's been investigated

by Scotland Yard.



   

                   

- What more do you want?

- I don't know, darling.



   

                   

I don't know.



   

                   

Oh, Roger.

What'll we do?



   

                   

What'll we do?



   

                   

Perdy, I'm afraid

it's all up to us.



   

                   

Oh, Pongo.

Isn't there any hope?



   

                   

Well, yes.

There's the twilight bark.



   

                   

The twilight bark?

That's only a gossip chain.



   

                   

Darling, it's the very

fastest way to send news.



   

                   

If our puppies are anywhere

in the city, the London dogs will know.



   

                   

We'll send the word tonight when

our pets take us for a walk in the park.



   

                   

There's no one out tonight.

I'm afraid it's too cold.



   

                   

We've got to keep

trying, Perdy.



   

                   

Perdy,

we're in luck!



   

                   

It's the Great Dane

at Hampstead.



   

                   

Quiet, boy!



   

                   

Do you want to stir up

the whole neighbourhood?



   

                   

- Perdy, come on!

- Let's go.



   

                   

Pongo, you old idiot!



   

                   

Come on, now.

We're going home!



   

                   

What is it, Danny?

Who's on the telegraph?



   

                   

It's Pongo, Regents Park!

It's an all-dog alert.



   

                   

What's it all about?

Tell me, tell me!



   

                   

Wait a minute,

wait a minute.



   

                   

Well, now...

Hmm, that is something.



   

                   

What, Danny?

What's something?



   

                   

   Dalmatian puppies,

stolen!



   

                   

Have they called the police?

Scotland Yard?



   

                   

The humans tried everything. Now it's

up to us dogs and the twilight bark.



   

                   

I'll sound the alert!



   

                   

Woof! Woof!



   

                   

Ahh!



   

                   

Prissy,

come in here!



   

                   

Coco!



   

                   

Be quiet now!



   

                   

Aw, shut up!



   

                   

Quiet!



   

                   

Will you be quiet!



   

                   

Towser,

what's going on?



   

                   

What is it?

What's all the gossip?



   

                   

'Taint no gossip, Lucy.

It be all the way from London.



   

                   

- You don't say!

-    puppies stolen.



   

                   

There's no puppies around here,

not since Nellie's last litter.



   

                   

Well, then, we'd best

send the word along.



   

                   

It be up to me

to reach the Colonel!



   

                   

He be the only one

in barking range.



   

                   

You'll never reach him

at this hour!



   

                   

Well, I can try!



   

                   

I'll bark all night

if I have to.



   

                   

Ahem!



   

                   

Hmm-hmm-hmm.



   

                   

Hmm... sounds like

old Towser.



   

                   

It's an alert.

Sergeant!



   

                   

Sergeant Tibs!

I say, Sergeant!



   

                   

Oh, yes, Captain!



   

                   

Barking signal. It's an alert.

Report to the Colonel at once.



   

                   

Righto, sir.

Right away, sir!



   

                   

Colonel?



   

                   

I say, Colonel!

Colonel, sir?



   

                   

- Colonel?

- What? Who goes there?



   

                   

Sergeant Tibs

reporting, sir.



   

                   

Tibs? Tibs?

Oh, yes, Sergeant Tibs!



   

                   

Look here, Tibs. What's the idea

of barging in at this hour?



   

                   

But Colonel...



   

                   

Hold on, Sergeant. You hear that?



   

                   

- Sounds like an alert.

- Yes, Colonel.



   

                   

- We'd better look into it.

Come along, on the double.

- Righto, sir.



   

                   

It's old Towser down

at Withermarsh, sir.



   

                   

By Jove, yes!

So it is.



   

                   

Well, I'll see

what he wants.



   

                   

Ahem!



   

                   

Woof, woof, woof!



   

                   

Woof, woof, woof!



   

                   

It be the Colonel.

The old boy himself!



   

                   

He wants the message.



   

                   

You'd better make it loud

or he'll never get it.



   

                   

One long howl,

two short.



   

                   

- One yip and a woof.

- Two yips, sir.



   

                   

- What's the word?

- It's from London.



   

                   

- It must be important.

- Yes, I'll get the rest of it.



   

                   

Ahem!



   

                   

Woof, woof, woof!



   

                   

[Distant Barking]



   

                   

Sounds like a number.

Three fives is   .



   

                   

- That's    sir.

- Of course,   .



   

                   

[Barking]



   

                   

Yes... Dot, Spot...

Spotted puddings.



   

                   

Poodles.



   

                   

- No, puddles!

- Puddles, sir?



   

                   

   spotted puddles stolen?

Oh, balderdash!



   

                   

Better double-check it, Colonel.



   

                   

Oh, yes,

I suppose I'd better.



   

                   

Woof, woof, woof!



   

                   

Two woofs,

one yip and a woof.



   

                   

- It sounds like "puppies"!

- Of course, puppies!



   

                   

I just remembered.



   

                   

Two nights past, I heard

puppy barking at Hell Hall.



   

                   

The old de Vil place?

Nonsense, Tibs!



   

                   

No one's lived there

for years.



   

                   

Hold on! There's smoke

coming from the chimney!



   

                   

By Jove, that's strange...

strange indeed.



   

                   

I suppose

we'd better investigate.



   

                   

I'll send word for

ol' Towser to stand by.



   

                   

Roof! Roo-roo-roof!



   

                   

Please... stand... by.



   

                   

- What's he mean by that?

- I don't know.



   

                   

Oh... maybe the ol' boy's

found something!



   

                   

Oh, I do hope so.



   

                   

They say the ol' place is haunted or

bewitched or some such fiddle faddle.



   

                   

Fiddle faddle

and rot, sir.



   

                   

Just the same, Sergeant,

use extreme caution.



   

                   

No telling what sort of

hocus pocus you might run in to.



   

                   

Blast it all, Tibs.

On the double, man.



   

                   

- On the double.

- Yes, sir. Right away, sir.



   

                   

Psst!



   

                   

- Rover! Spotty!

- Hmm. What?



   

                   

Are you one of

the    stolen puppies?



   

                   

We're not stolen.

We're bought and paid for.



   

                   

There's    of us

all together.



   

                   

Ninety-nine!



   

                   

How 'bout that bunch

of little ones?



   

                   

They have names and colours.

They're not from the pet shops.



   

                   

- Fifteen of 'em.

- We never counted them.



   

                   

They 're overthere

by the tv.



   

                   

- I'd better count 'em.

- Watch out for the baduns.



   

                   

Baduns?



   

                   

Those two blokes,

Horace and Jasper.



   

                   

They 're mean ones,

they are.



   

                   

Hey, look, Horace!



   

                   

Watch me pot His Lordship

smack on the conk.



   

                   

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

How's that for callin' 'em, eh?



   

                   

Ha-ha-ha-ha!



   

                   

One... two...



   

                   

- three, four, five, six...

- Hey, Jasper.



   

                   

Give us a swig,



   

                   

- just a short one.

- Now, Horace,



   

                   

this hogwash ain't fit

for a fancy bloke like yourself.



   

                   

Besides, you'd get crumbs in it,

you cabbage head!



   

                   

All right.



   

                   

Guzzle the whole works. I hope it

gives you colly wobbles, that's what.



   

                   

Hey, Jasper.

Did you...



   

                   

Six, seven, eight,

nine, ten, eleven...



   

                   

Hey, get down, you runt!

Andstay down!



   

                   

Go on, get out of here...



   

                   

or I'll black

your other peeper.



   

                   

Where was I?

Nine...



   

                   

Nine... three more.



   

                   

Twelve and... one, two, three.

That's fifteen!



   

                   

They're the ones!



   

                   

Blimey!



   

                   

What the...



   

                   

Horace, look what we got!

A tabby cat!



   

                   

Ha-ha-ha!

Ho-ho-ho!



   

                   

How'd you like

a tabby cat stew?



   

                   

Or a cat casserole?



   

                   

A la mode!



   

                   

- What is it, Pongo? What is it?

- It's the Great Dane.



   

                   

He has news for us.

He'll meet us at Primrose Hill.



   

                   

- How'll we get out?

- The back bedroom window.



   

                   

It's always open

a wee bit. C'mon.



   

                   

Woof! Woof!



   

                   

Pongos, you've made it.

Good.



   

                   

- What's the word? What's the news?

- Have they found our puppies?



   

                   

They've been located

somewhere north of here...



   

                   

- in Suffolk.

- Oh, thank heaven.



   

                   

- Can you leave tonight?

- We can leave right away.



   

                   

I'll go along as far as Camden Road

and give you instructions.



   

                   

When you reach

Withermarsh, contact old Towser.



   

                   

He'll direct you to the Colonel

and the Colonel will take you...



   

                   

to your puppies

at the de Vil place.



   

                   

- De Vil!

- The de Vil place!



   

                   

Oh, Pongo,

it was her!



   

                   

- Oh, someone you know?

- There's no time to explain.



   

                   

I hope we're

not too late.



   

                   

Good luck, Pongo.



   

                   

If you lose your way,

contact the barking chain.



   

                   

They'll be

standing by!



   

                   

Any news, Colonel?



   

                   

Not a blasted thing.



   

                   

They're lost or captured,

or something or other.



   

                   

- Who knows what.

- Colonel, here comes a car.



   

                   

Come now, Tibs.

Don't be ridiculous.



   

                   

- They wouldn't be driving.

- Yes, I know, sir.



   

                   

But it's heading

for Hell Hall.



   

                   

It... It's stopping

at the gate!



   

                   

It is?



   

                   

Blast it all!

Better see what's up.



   

                   

- On the double, man. On the double!

- Yes, sir.



   

                   

Take over, Captain.



   

                   

Righto, sir.



   

                   

I'm sorry,

MrSimpkins. The answer is no, no, no.



   

                   

Six down, four to go.



   

                   

I've got no time to argue.

It's got to be done tonight.



   

                   

It must be a yes

or no question.



   

                   

Do you understand?

Tonight!



   

                   

But they ain 't big enough.



   

                   

You couldn't get half a dozen coats

out of the whole caboodle.



   

                   

Coats!

Dog-skin coats?



   

                   

We'll settle for half a dozen!

We can't wait.



   

                   

The police are everywhere.

I want the job done tonight!



   

                   

How're we gonna do it?



   

                   

Any way you like.

Poison them, drown them.



   

                   

Bash them in the head.

You got any chloroform?



   

                   

- Not a drop.

- And no ether, "ee-ther".



   

                   

"Eye-ther"!



   

                   

I don't care how you kill the little

beasts, but do it... and do it now!



   

                   

Aw, please, miss.

Have pity.



   

                   

Can't we see the rest

of the show first?



   

                   

We want to see

"What's My Crime?"



   

                   

Listen, you idiots!



   

                   

I'll be back in the morning.

The job better be done...



   

                   

or I'll...

I'll call the police!



   

                   

Do you understand?



   

                   

I think she means it.



   

                   

Ah...

We'll get on with it...



   

                   

as soon as

the show's over.



   

                   

Will you please

sign in, sir?



   

                   

You'd better get out of here

if you want to save your skins.



   

                   

- But how?

- Shh.



   

                   

There's a hole in the wall

there by the door.



   

                   

C'mon, shake a leg.



   

                   

Psst.

Kids, follow me.



   

                   

Hey, Jasper, look!

Ha-ha-ha-ha.



   

                   

It's old Meathead.



   

                   

Yeah, what do you know...

old Meathead Fauncewater.



   

                   

C'mon,

don't crowd.



   

                   

One at a time.

One at a time!



   

                   

For our last contestant,



   

                   

meet Mr Percival Fauncewater.



   

                   

If the panel fails to guess your

unusual crime in ten questions,



   

                   

you will receive two weeks vacation

at a seaside resort,



   

                   

all expenses paid.



   

                   

That is, after

you've paid your debt to society.



   

                   

Who will take the first

question? Inspector?



   

                   

Could your crime

be classified as larceny?



   

                   

-A theft, burglary?

- Straighten out!



   

                   

Form a queue... along the wall.

Snap it up.



   

                   

Mr Fauncewater

is a burglarby trade,



   

                   

but in this case,

his crime was not burglary.



   

                   

The answer is no.



   

                   

One down, nine to go.

Miss Birdwell?



   

                   

If your crime

wasn't robbery, did you...



   

                   

Oh, dear,

what I mean is...



   

                   

Do something of

a violent nature, that is...



   

                   

Come, Miss Birdwell,

we're running short of time.



   

                   

So sorry.



   

                   

- Did you do someone in?

- Oh!



   

                   

I'm sorry.

The answer is no.



   

                   

Two down,

eight to go.



   

                   

- Mr Simpkins?

- Psst.



   

                   

Hey, kid, let's go.



   

                   

Could it be

a violation of a city ordinance?



   

                   

No.



   

                   

Hey, get out of the way,

you little runt!



   

                   

Three down,

seven to go. Inspector?



   

                   

Very confusing,

I must say.



   

                   

Surely,

this crime could...



   

                   

I'm terribly sorry.



   

                   

-We've run out of time.

- Ain't that always the way!



   

                   

Would it be possible for

Mr Fauncewater to come back next week?



   

                   

Then we could finish

our little game.



   

                   

Goodnight, audience.

See you next week at this same time...



   

                   

on "What's My Crime?"



   

                   

Ah, oh well.



   

                   

C'mon, Horace.

Let's get on with it.



   

                   

I'll pop 'em on the head,

you do the skinnin'.



   

                   

No you don't, Jasper!



   

                   

I'll pop 'em off and

you do the skinnin'.



   

                   

Horace, look!



   

                   

They're gone.

They flew the coop...



   

                   

right out through this hole.

Here, grab a torch.



   

                   

We'll run 'em down before

you can say "Bob's your uncle".



   

                   

There they go, Horace,

up the stairs.



   

                   

Here puppies.



   

                   

Here, puppies!

C'mon now.



   

                   

Don't go hiding from

ol' Uncle Jasper.



   

                   

I ain't gonna hurt ya.



   

                   

I thought we was

gonna pop 'em off.



   

                   

Shut up.

Take a squint in there.



   

                   

I'll check these

other two rooms.



   

                   

Here, puppies.



   

                   

Come on out.

Come out wherever you are.



   

                   

Horace! Oh!



   

                   

It's that mangy tabby cat.

He's the ringleader.



   

                   

Head 'em off.

Head 'em...



   

                   

You bungling blockhead!



   

                   

Back here!

Back here!



   

                   

Shh.

Here they come.



   

                   

Double-crossin 'little twerps,

pullin 'a snitch on us!



   

                   

After we took care of 'em.

There's gratitude for you.



   

                   

It ain't fair, Jasp er.



   

                   

Horace, there they go!



   

                   

Sergeant?

I say, Sergeant.



   

                   

No time to explain.

Busy, sir.



   

                   

Shut that door!



   

                   

We'll close in on 'em.

Enough of this "Ring Around the Rosy".



   

                   

Oh, Pongo,

I'm afraid we're lost.



   

                   

It can't be far.



   

                   

By Jove!

It can't be the Pongos.



   

                   

Grrr...



   

                   

It's the Colonel.

This way.



   

                   

Colonel?

Are you the Colonel?



   

                   

Oh, Pingo!

Uh... Uh... Pongo?



   

                   

Our puppies,

are they all right?



   

                   

No time to explain.

There's trouble.



   

                   

A big hullabaloo.

Come along!



   

                   

Follow me!



   

                   

Ah, ha-ha-ha!



   

                   

Now we've got 'em, Horace.

They 've run out of room.



   

                   

What have we got here?

A couple of spotted hyenas?



   

                   

C'mon, Horace.

Give 'em what for.



   

                   

I'm right

behind ya, lad.



   

                   

Uh... oh!



   

                   

You clumsy clod!



   

                   

I'll knock the spots off you.

Let go!



   

                   

Let go!



   

                   

Well, by George!



   

                   

You mangy mongrel!



   

                   

I'll knock your

blinkin 'block off.



   

                   

Yeow!



   

                   

Blast 'em, Tibs.

Give 'em what for.



   

                   

No, Colonel.

Retreat, retreat!



   

                   

Yes. Yes, of course.

Retreat!



   

                   

Retreat, on the double!



   

                   

Help, Jasper!

Get me out of here!



   

                   

Horace, they're

fighting dirty!



   

                   

Oh, oh, oh!



   

                   

Oh, oh, oh!

Jasper!



   

                   

Horace!



   

                   

C'mon, Perdy.

Let's go.



   

                   

I'll skin every one

of them spotted hyenas...



   

                   

if it's

the last thing I do.



   

                   

Dad! Mother!



   

                   

- I missed you, Mommy.

- Here we are, Mommy.



   

                   

Oh, my darlings...

my darlings!



   

                   

- How'd you find us?

- Lucky, Patch, Pepper!



   

                   

Oh, Daddy.



   

                   

- And Rolly, you rascal!

- Did you bring me anything to eat?



   

                   

Everybody here?

All   ?



   

                   

Twice that many, Dad.

Now there's    of us!



   

                   

What?

Nine...   ?



   

                   

Where did they

all come from?



   

                   

What would she want

with so many?



   

                   

She's gonna make

coats out of us.



   

                   

- She couldn't!

- That's right, dog-skin coats.



   

                   

Oh, dog-skin coats!

Come now, Tibs!



   

                   

But it's true, sir.



   

                   

Horace and Jasper were gonna

pop us off and... skin us!



   

                   

She's a devil, a witch!

What'll we do?



   

                   

We have to get back

to London somehow.



   

                   

What about the others?

What'll they do?



   

                   

Perdy, we'll take them

home with us... all of them.



   

                   

Our pets would

never turn them out.



   

                   

Colonel, sir,

lights on the road.



   

                   

It's a truck

headin' this way.



   

                   

It's the baduns,

Horace and Jasper.



   

                   

They 're following

our tracks.



   

                   

We've got 'em

out numbered, Tibs.



   

                   

When I give the signal,

we'll attack.



   

                   

Sir, I'm afraid that

would be disastrous.



   

                   

Ahem!

Oh, think so?



   

                   

We'd better

run for it.



   

                   

Out the back,

across the pasture.



   

                   

Thank you sergeant,

Colonel, Captain.



   

                   

- Bless you all.

- How can we ever repay you?



   

                   

Ahem! Nothing at all.

All in the line of duty.



   

                   

That's right, sir...

routine.



   

                   

Better be off.

Here they come.



   

                   

C'mon, kids, hurry.



   

                   

- Good luck, Pongos.

- And never fear.



   

                   

We'll hold them off

'til the bitter end.



   

                   

Now, what's this?



   

                   

Out of my way,

you barkin' haystack.



   

                   

Or I'll knock your

blinkin' block off!



   

                   

They ain't in here.



   

                   

They're hiding

in the hay.



   

                   

Give me a match.

We'll burn 'em out.



   

                   

Ready, Captain.

Aim,



   

                   

fire one.



   

                   

Fire two.



   

                   

Hey, there they go,

the little sneaks.



   

                   

C'mon, back to the truck.

We'll head 'em off in half a mile.



   

                   

They gotta be around

here somewhere.



   

                   

- I've been thinkin'.

- Now, Horace.



   

                   

What if they went down

the froze-up creek...



   

                   

so 's not to leave

their tracks?



   

                   

Horace, you idiot!



   

                   

Dogs ain't that smart.



   

                   

All clear, Perdy.



   

                   

-All clear.

- We gave 'em the slip!

Didn't we, Dad?



   

                   

They didn't even

see us, Patch!



   

                   

Shh, children.

Children, shh.



   

                   

My feet are slippery.



   

                   

I wish we could

walk on the snow.



   

                   

No, son, we can't

leave tracks.



   

                   

Well, any sign

of them?



   

                   

Not so much as

one bloomin' footprint.



   

                   

And we've been up and down

every road in the county.



   

                   

- We're froze stiff. We're givin' up.

- Oh, no, you don't!



   

                   

We'll find the little mongrels

if it takes 'til next Christmas.



   

                   

Now get going!

Watch your driving!



   

                   

Do you wanna get

nabbed by the police?



   

                   

Ninety-three,



   

                   

ninety-four,

ninety-five, ninety-six,



   

                   

ninety-seven,



   

                   

ninety-eight...



   

                   

Oh, Lucky!



   

                   

C'm on, Lucky boy.

We can't give up now.



   

                   

I'm tired and I'm hungry

and my tail's froze...



   

                   

and my nose is froze

and my ears are froze.



   

                   

And my toes are froze.



   

                   

Pongo!



   

                   

Pongo! Pongo!



   

                   

We'd just about lost hope.

We have shelter for you...



   

                   

at the dairy barn

across the road.



   

                   

Oh, thank goodness.



   

                   

Perdy! Perdy!



   

                   

This way, Perdy.



   

                   

- The dairy barn across the road.

- C'mon, kids.



   

                   

It's not far.

C'mon, this way.



   

                   

Follow the collie.



   

                   

Just look, Queenie.



   

                   

- Have you ever seen so many puppies?

- Aren't they adorable!



   

                   

- Perfectly darling.

- The poor dears.



   

                   

They 're completely worn out

and half frozen!



   

                   

- They all here, Pongo?

- Yes, dear. All    accounted for.



   

                   

The famous Pongos.

We were so worried about you.



   

                   

Been trying to reach you.

Afraid you'd been captured.



   

                   

How did you make it

all this way?



   

                   

- And in such dreadful weather.

- With all those little ones.



   

                   

I'm hungry, Mother.

I'm hungry.



   

                   

- I'm hungry too.

- Mother, we're hungry.



   

                   

- We're all hungry.

- I'm sorry, children.



   

                   

Do they like warm milk?

It's fresh.



   

                   

- Where is it?

- Where is the milk?



   

                   

Come and get it, kids.

It's on the house.



   

                   

This way, children.

Around this way.



   

                   

Don't crowd.

You'll have to take turns.



   

                   

Rolly, wait your turn, dear.



   

                   

Don't worry, kids.

There's plenty for all.



   

                   

Ooh!

The little darlings.



   

                   

Pongo, a fews craps

I saved...



   

                   

- for you and the missus.

- Oh, thank you.



   

                   

It's not much, but it might

hold you as far as Dinsford.



   

                   

Huh?

Dinsford?



   

                   

There's a Labrador there.



   

                   

- His pet is a grocer.

- Oh, I... I'm sorry.



   

                   

Quite all right.



   

                   

Get some rest and don't worry.

I'll be standing watch.



   

                   

I don't know what

we'd have done if...



   

                   

- We're honoured to be of service.

- We're sorry we can't do more.



   

                   

Anyone who would think

of hurting these puppies...



   

                   

- Shh! Duchess!

- They're so dear.



   

                   

I wish they could stay

with us for always.



   

                   

Princess, shh.

Quiet, everyone.



   

                   

Let them sleep,

the poor things.



   

                   

They're so exhausted and they

still have such a long way to go.



   

                   

Hurry, kids. Hurry!



   

                   

Well now,

what have we here?



   

                   

Well... so they thought

they could outwit Cruella.



   

                   

Ha-ha-ha-ha!



   

                   

Jasper!

Horace!



   

                   

Here's their tracks

heading for the village.



   

                   

Blimey!

It's them, all right.



   

                   

Work your way south on the side roads.

I'll take the main road.



   

                   

See you in Dinsford!



   

                   

Pongo, I've got

a ride home for you.



   

                   

A ride home?

Perdy, did you hear that?



   

                   

- For all of us?

- You mean we don't have to

walk any more?



   

                   

If we can manage it.

We'd better hurry.



   

                   

We've got a ride home!

C'mon, children.



   

                   

See the van

down the street?



   

                   

It's going to London

as soon as the engine's repaired.



   

                   

And there's room

for all of you.



   

                   

Pongo, there's Cruella.



   

                   

Yes...



   

                   

and Jasper and Horace.



   

                   

- How will we get to the van?

- I don't know, Perdy.



   

                   

- But somehow we've got to.

- Mother, Dad,



   

                   

- Patch pushed me in the fireplace.

- Lucky pushed me first.



   

                   

- Did not. Did not.

- Did too. Did too.



   

                   

Did not!



   

                   

- Please, children, don't quarrel.

- Say...



   

                   

Perdy, I've got an idea.



   

                   

Pongo,



   

                   

- what on earth...

- Look, I'm a Labrador!



   

                   

We 'll all roll in soot.

We 'll be Labradors.



   

                   

Say, that is an idea!



   

                   

C'mon, kids!

Roll in the soot.



   

                   

You mean, you want

us to get dirty?



   

                   

Did you hear that, Freckles?

Dad wants us to get dirty.



   

                   

- Mother, should we?

- Do as your father says.



   

                   

- This'll be fun.

- I always wanted to get good and dirty.



   

                   

That's the stuff.

The blacker the better.



   

                   

- I'm ready.

- Me too.



   

                   

- How's this, Dad?

- Wait. That's enough.

Not too many at a time.



   

                   

Uh-oh. Rolly, hold on.

You're only half done.



   

                   

Now, stay right with me.



   

                   

We're gonna fool

the ol' mad lady.



   

                   

Pongo...



   

                   

I'm so afraid.



   

                   

Jasper, do you suppose

they disguised themselves?



   

                   

Say now, Horace.

That's just what they did.



   

                   

Dogs is always paintin'

themselves black!



   

                   

You idiot!



   

                   

Well, so far

so good.



   

                   

C'mon, Perdy.

Better get on your make-up.



   

                   

I'll go ahead

with the next bunch.



   

                   

Jasper! Horace!



   

                   

- Well?

- Be reasonable, miss.



   

                   

We're froze to our bones.



   

                   

We've been out all night

and all day, with nothin' to eat.



   

                   

They're somewhere in this village,

and we're going to find them.



   

                   

Now get going!



   

                   

Do you think they've seen us?



   

                   

No, but we're

running out of time.



   

                   

Try 'er again, mate.



   

                   

Hurry, Perdy.

The van's about to leave.



   

                   

Better hurry.



   

                   

I'll get the rest.



   

                   

That ought to do.

She'll get you back to London.



   

                   

Better get aboard, miss.



   

                   

Hey, Jasper.



   

                   

C'mon, Horace.



   

                   

Hurry, kids!



   

                   

C'mon, kids.

Run on ahead.



   

                   

- She's watching us, Dad.

- Keep going.



   

                   

It can't be!



   

                   

It's impossible!



   

                   

Run for it!



   

                   

-Jasper! Horace!

- [Honking]



   

                   

Jasper!



   

                   

There they go...

in the van.



   

                   

After them! After them!



   

                   

Pongo!

There she is... Cruella.



   

                   

Hey, lady,



   

                   

what in thunder

are you tryin' to do?



   

                   

Crazy woman driver!



   

                   

- Pongo, look!

- Jasper!



   

                   

Ain't nothin' to it.



   

                   

I'll give him a nudge

and shove him in the dirt.



   

                   

Perdy, watch out!



   

                   

- Jasper!

- Horace!



   

                   

You idiots!



   

                   

You fools!



   

                   

You imbeciles!



   

                   

Ah, shut up!



   

                   

Roger, after all,

that's your first big hit.



   

                   

It's made more money

than we ever dreamed of.



   

                   

Yes, I know.



   

                   

I still can't believe...



   

                   

that Pongo and Perdy

would run away.



   

                   

Here's a bit of

Christmas cheer for you,



   

                   

If there's anything

to be cheerful about.



   

                   

Oh, those dear

little things.



   

                   

Sometimes at night

I can hear them barking,



   

                   

but it always turns out I'm dreaming.



   

                   

Roger, what on earth...



   

                   

They're Labradors.



   

                   

No, no.

They're covered with soot.



   

                   

Look, here's Lucky!



   

                   

Pongo, boy,

is that you?



   

                   

Oh, Pongo, Pongo!

Ho-ho, it's Pongo!



   

                   

And Perdy,

my darling.



   

                   

And Patch, and Rolly,



   

                   

and Penny, and Freckles.



   

                   

They're all here,

the little dears.



   

                   

- It's a miracle!

- What a wonderful Christmas present!



   

                   

And look...

there's a whole lot more!



   

                   

- Look, Anita, puppies everywhere.

- There must be    !



   

                   

One, two, three and

four... is seven.



   

                   

Two, four, six, and three

is nine, plus two is eleven.



   

                   

-    over here.

-    and    that's   !



   

                   

- Eighteen, Roger.

- That's   !



   

                   

Ten, eleven,

twelve, thirteen!



   

                   

- Wait... six more.

- Let's see, that's   .



   

                   

And fifteen plus two...

a hundred and one!



   

                   

A hundred and one?

Where did they come from?



   

                   

Oh, Pongo,

you old rascal!



   

                   

- What'll we do with them?

- We'll keep'em.



   

                   

- In this little house?

- We'll buy a big place in the country.



   

                   

We'll have a plantation...

a Dalmatian plantation.



   

                   

Roger, that's truly

an inspiration.



   

                   

It'll be a sensation!



   

                   

We'll have

a Dalmatian plantation.



   

                   

A Dalmatian plantation,

I say.







  

  

 
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