Voila! Finally, the Out Of Towners
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Jack Lemmon and
Sandy Dennis movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Out Of Towners. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
- Gwen, come on!
- I'm on my way, George! Don't holler!
Come on! Hurry up!
Oh, I forgot my purse.
- Where are you going?
- Come and say goodbye to Daddy.
- Bye.
- Bye, Mom.
I don't know why you rushed me,
George. We have an hour...
To give ourselves plenty of time.
What if we had a flat?
We're married years,
we never had a flat.
- Feel my chest.
- Are you having a heart attack?
No, I wanna make sure
we got the tickets.
Yes, that feels like tickets to me.
I wish you'd calm down, George.
I think I glued my eye together,
it certainly is sticky.
- You're excited about this, aren't you?
- Excited? The New York job?
You know how many fellows
are crying 'cause they picked me?
Every one of them.
Vice-president in charge of sales?
I'll say I'm excited. Feel the other side.
Is my wallet there?
Yes, that feels like your wallet.
Well, you deserve it, George.
Nobody worked harder for it
or wanted it more than you have.
- It's what you want, too?
- The job?
The job, the move, the new way of life.
That's what you want too, right?
- I want anything you want.
- Then say I did the right thing.
- Say we'll be happier there than ever.
- Yes, we'll be happy in New York.
- "Happier" in New York.
- Happier than we've ever been, yes.
It'll be great for the kids. You don't
have to worry about the schools.
- I wasn't worried...
- They have great private schools.
If they don't get in, the public schools
are even better. New Yorker.
- You've gotta find us an apartment.
- cents, please.
Don't worry about rent,
I'll be earning more.
We won't have car expenses
because we don't need one.
- I wasn't worried...
- Find a place near the park
so we can run the dog. I know
you're worried. Everyone has dogs.
There are millions of places to run
them as long as they're on a leash.
Don't eat on the plane. We have
a reservation at the Four Seasons.
- Can I help you?
- Mr and Mrs Kellerman, flight .
It may be the greatest restaurant in
the country. Don't worry about eating.
- I wasn't worried about eating.
- Are there problems with the weather?
Our last reading was degrees.
- It's beautiful in New York!
- I wasn't worried about the weather.
You and your wife are confirmed
on flight boarding now.
- Are these your bags?
- I'll carry this one myself.
No, let the airline carry it. It's their job.
- Don't worry about the luggage.
- I wasn't worrying.
- Gwen, are you excited?
- Yes, George.
- You don't look excited.
- I'm very excited!
- Have a good flight.
- Thank you.
- Coffee or tea with dinner?
- No coffee, tea. No dinner.
- Nothing at all?
- Please.
George, maybe we should have
a sandwich. You didn't have lunch.
At . we're having a great meal.
I'm not gonna spoil it with stale chicken.
- Stop worrying about my stomach.
- I didn't want you to be hungry.
I got two bottles of ulcer medicine,
if that's what you're thinking.
- Relax.
- I'll try.
The captain has turned onthe No Smoking sign.
- Extinguish all cigarettes...
- Fasten your seat belts, please.
...and your seats are in the upright
position in preparation for landing.
Put your chair
in an upright position, please.
- Five minutes early!
- It's very big, isn't it?
That's why they call it New York.
Come here!
You're missing the whole skyline.
All right, is that
a beautiful city or what?
Oh, that's a beautiful city.
Would you all please
fasten your seat belts?
- Hey, did I tell you the plan?
- No, what is the plan?
Tonight's fun-filled agenda
prepared during my lunch hours:
. arrive Kennedy Airport,
. check into deluxe suite
at the world-famous
Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. More?
. dinner at the star-studded
Four Seasons Restaurant. More?
Followed by a midnight dance
in the Empire Room.
Followed by a swift elevator ride
up to our perfumed bedroom,
followed by one of the great love-makers
any woman encountered. More?
No more.
You have an interview at nine a.m.
A shoo-in!
It's not possible they'll turn you down?
I mean, not get the job?
What? I've already been approved.
The interview is just a formality.
- This is Captain Endicott.
- This is it, I can smell the meal.
We've heard from Kennedy Approach
that we've run into a traffic problem.
aircraft ahead of us,so if you'll just sit back and relax,we'll circle until we get the go-ahead.I would guess about to minutes.
He guesses? Shouldn't he know?
He's a pilot, he shouldn't guess.
- Miss?
- We have plenty of time.
Is there any chance
it'll be more than minutes?
We have an . dinner reservation.
I don't guess it'll be more
than or minutes.
- That's what the pilot guessed.
- His guess is better than mine. Coffee?
- Could I have a cup...
- Does this happen very often?
Almost every night here.
It's called the "Stacking Hour".
- Excuse me.
- Thank you.
- They should have told us.
- It's not her fault.
They should tell you. An hour
minutes flying, minutes stacking.
Then I'd know it's an hour minutes.
You're going to have trouble
with your stomach, I see it coming.
OK, it's almost minutes.
I hope he's a better pilot than guesser.
- Miss!
- Feels like we're going down.
- Can you see the airport?
- No, it got foggy.
It's thick clouds.
They fly through this all the time.
- Yes, sir?
- It's over minutes now.
- I imagine we've hit bad weather.
- No need to imagine, just look!
- We have an . reservation...
- Excuse me.
Probably telling the pilot it's foggy.
He's too busy circling to notice.
- You should have eaten something.
- My seat belt's too tight.
This is Captain Endicott again.
We've run into a fog systemnot previously reported.Kennedy reports a ceilingwhich is below normal for landing,so we'll have to sit it out a little longer.
We're gonna sit! We held,
we circled, now we're gonna sit!
- Miss! Where's Miss?
- Might as well relax.
Last time this happened
we circled two and a half hours.
- This happened to you before?
- Either it's traffic, fog, a labour dispute.
I figure just circling,
I'm two years older than I should be.
Hear that? At . we'll be circling
over the Four Seasons.
It's not important.
We can eat later in the room.
In the meantime,
could I have a cup of coffee?
- Can I help you?
- My wife would like a coffee.
- I'm sorry, the coffee's gone.
- We haven't eaten anything.
- Is it possible to make more?
- We can't do that during landing.
- But we're circling.
- We are circling prior to landing.
But if we keep circling and circling,
that's flying. Can you make coffee then?
This is Captain Endicott again,
we're encountering turbulence.
Please take your seats
and fasten seat belts.
Can I have a Coke
or a glass of milk?
I'm sorry, it's a federal regulation.
We may not serve beverages
during take-off or landing.
- Would you like a glass of water?
- Isn't water a beverage?
If you'd like to discuss this
with the senior stewardess...
I'd like to discuss it
with the Federal Aviation Authority,
which I plan to do once we're through
sitting, holding and circling...
Sir, would you take your seat
and observe the no-smoking sign?
Yeah, I observed it.
- You know what time it is?
- It's not important.
Twenty to nine.
By the time we check in
and go to a restaurant,
it'll be . . If I eat that late,
I'm usually up all night.
You're anticipating. Maybe you won't.
Maybe we'll be up here. Spend the
rest of our lives circling New York.
- This is Captain Endicott again.
- I don't want to hear this.
Sorry to report Ground Controlsees no easing up of conditions here,and Kennedy will be closedfor the night.The same applies to Newark,LaGuardia and Philadelphia.We'll have to proceed to Boston.You may smoke again if you like.
We're going to Boston.
I have to be in New York at nine a.m.
And I'm going to Boston!
American Airlines flight threeto Los Angeles departing at gate six.
Excuse me. Gwen, here's the stubs.
You pick up the bags, I'll go see
if there's another flight going out.
I'll meet you in front of the mailboxes.
- Shouldn't we eat first?
- There's no time!
I gotta get to New York.
I'll meet you in front of the mailboxes.
Braniff International Airwaysflight for Dallas now ready...
Kennedy is closed.
No flights into New York.
- When do they open again?
- Operations should resume at a.m.
- Are there any trains going tonight?
- You'll have to check South Station.
Mr Howard Beals, please reportto the flight information counter.American Airlines flight three non-stopto Los Angeles departing at gate six.
That's right, to New York.
. gets in at two a.m., right?
Last train to New York
from South Station in minutes.
- They'll never make it.
- I gotta make it!
Miss Hazel Marshall, please reportto the flight information counter.
There's a train in minutes.
Where are the bags?
- They can't find them.
- I hope there's a dining car...
- They can't find what?
- The bags.
- What do you mean?
- I can't say it simpler than that.
- They lost our luggage?!
- Do not shout.
- They lost our luggage?
- It's not lost, they just can't find it.
- Supposing they don't find it?
- Then it's lost.
Come on, we got minutes
to find our lost luggage.
Passengers arriving on flight may now claim their luggage.
Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
- Just a minute.
I've got minutes to catch a train.
You have lost my bags.
- A large brown one and small grey one.
- We've got the claim checks.
- What do they look like?
- A large brown one and small grey one.
- You don't see 'em?
- Why would we ask if we saw them?
- It won't help to get excited.
- It can't hurt.
What's the difference
as long as I get my bags?
- He's trying to help.
- To not get me excited, not get my bags.
- We'll miss the train.
- Can I see your claim checks?
- You should have carried the little one.
- Just two bags?
- A brown one and a grey one.
- You didn't see 'em come out?
- My wife didn't see 'em come out.
- I don't see 'em here.
I can see you don't see them!
Can I talk to someone else?
- Have you tried Lost and Found?
- We just found out they were lost!
- We just found out they were lost.
- All I can suggest is Lost and Found.
Why not just suggest Lost and Found
instead of reading my claim checks?
- He's trying to help.
- He wasn't helping, he was reading.
- What's your name?
- Vito!
If you don't find 'em,
I'm suing you people!
What way is this to run an airline?
- You didn't see them come out?
- I've got minutes to catch a train.
- There's no cause for alarm, Mr...
- What's the difference?
We'll just waste time discussing
my name. George Kellerman, all right?
In minutes, the most
important train of my life leaves,
and we're talking about my name.
- T.I.A. Assumes all responsibility.
- I don't want your responsibility.
I just want my shirts.
I've got a meeting in the morning!
My husband has an important
business meeting at nine a.m.
- Why tell him what I just said?
- We can put you in a hotel tonight.
- You can make our seven a.m. Flight.
- Supposing New York's still fogged in?
- We can't guarantee the weather.
- You can't guarantee our luggage!
- A large brown one and...
- What's the difference if they're lost?
There's no reason to assume
they won't show up.
I assumed I'd be in New York tonight
with baggage that wasn't lost!
- Is something wrong?
- My husband has an ulcer
- and his medicine is in...
- Come on.
We'll be at the Waldorf-Astoria.
I don't get my baggage by the morning,
your lawyers will hear from mine!
You got my name right?
- Yes, sir. Frank Kellerman.
- George, George Kellerman!
First you waste my time,
then you get my name wrong!
Come on, we haven't got time.
First they lose my baggage,
then they'll send it...
You'll hear from me
if I don't hear from you.
Attention, please. Last call: BraniffInternational Airways flight ...
Taxi!
South Station, step on it.
We got ten minutes.
- That's minutes from here!
- Can't you make it in ten?
How can I make it
if it's a -minute drive?
You wanna go to South Station
I'll take you, but not in ten minutes!
Is it necessary to take two minutes
telling me this?
Just get me to South Station,
you can talk all you want after!
I don't believe it. I don't believe it.
- Don't worry, we'll make it.
- I'm not worried.
I am.
- I told you, minutes.
- Any bags?
- No. Did we miss the . ?
- They held it up five minutes.
- You see? How much is that?
- $ . . That's a $ bill!
- Can I have my change?
- I can't break a $ bill!
- Don't you have a $ ?
- If I had a $ ... Have you got one?
- In the grey suitcase.
- $ is all I got.
- You gotta change it inside. I'll wait.
- I got a train pulling out!
- My $ . !
- Give me your address, I'll mail it.
I'll keep it and mail you the change.
George Kellerman, Willow Tree
Lane, Twin Oaks, Ohio. Keep a quarter.
- Got it?
- I got it. Keep a quarter.
- No, you got the address?
- He got it, come on!
Excuse me. Hold that train!
- Is this the . to New York?
- No, that is!
- I didn't see that train. Did you?
- I didn't see anything. I was running.
There goes the New York job.
You can call them in the morning
and explain. They'll understand.
That I lost my luggage? Think they'll
give me a job of responsibility?
It's not your fault the plane
landed in Boston.
- I could've caught an earlier plane.
- Well, yes, you could have.
It was my job and my responsibility
to be in that office at nine a.m.!
- You're right, I don't deserve the job.
- Missed it, huh?
- Is there time to go to the ladies' room?
- We're here in Boston for the night!
We missed the train! Dear old Boston!
Is there another train
to New York tonight?
No, but you can catch that one
in Longview, the next station.
They stop ten minutes to pick up mail.
A cab will take you there in minutes.
Why didn't you tell me
before my wife left?
Didn't know she was leaving.
- Where's the ladies' room?
- You mean the men's room?
- No, I want the ladies' room.
- Over there.
Thank you.
Gwen, we can still make the train!
Of all the times to go to the ladies'...
Ah, miss? My wife is in there,
she just went in.
Could you get her out, please?
It's a matter of life and death.
Oh, I couldn't find the ladies'.
There it is.
- Never mind, we can make the train.
- She didn't want to come out!
I beg your pardon. Take her back in.
Run, Gwen!
Hey, taxi! Taxi!
- Didn't make it?
- Can we get to Longview in minutes?
- Not for another quarter tip!
- All right!
Just made it. You better rush.
- How much?
- $ . but I can't break the $ .
$ from before plus $ .
is $ . plus $ tip is $ .
that's $ . you owe me.
You got the address?
Twin Oaks, Ohio,
Kellerman Lane.
- No, Willow Tree Lane!
- Come on, he's got it!
He hasn't got it, all he's got is my $ !
I don't get my $ .
you'll hear from me!
Barney Polaczek, Clancy Street,
Boston, Massachusetts!
Zip code !
He say Bennie or Bernie?
Excuse me, are there any seats
on this train?
Don't you have anything
in the parlour car? I'll pay for it.
This train runs empty six nights a week
except when New York is fogged in,
then they fly 'em up to Boston
and we could use four more cars.
- Why not put more on?
- Ain't got any.
Nobody takes the train any more.
Everybody's in a hurry.
- You expect us to stand all the way?
- Not unless you give me $ each.
- Is there a dining car?
- Just sandwiches. Next car forward.
- Two.
- Just two?
- Just two, me and my wife.
- End of the line, please.
Why does he say "just" two
if we gotta get in line?
Pardon me.
- Are you the end of the line?
- No, looks like you are!
It's fine, just a little pain. You're thinking
I should have eaten on the plane.
I wasn't.
You can take those two right there.
Know how long we were in line?
Two hours, that's how long.
- Chicken sandwich and coffee.
- Can we see a menu?
- We got sandwiches and drinks.
- Two chicken sandwiches, please.
- Sorry, no chicken.
- Isn't that chicken?
Yeah. And when he eats that,
there's no more chicken.
- They're out of chicken.
- Got ham or cheese?
- No ham or cheese.
- What do you have?
- Peanut butter on white bread.
- What else?
More peanut butter on white bread.
Ran out of everything else.
But my husband isn't allowed
to eat peanut butter or white bread.
I got saltine crackers
and green olives. That's all.
We didn't expect people tonight.
Bring my wife the sandwich,
I'll have the crackers and olives.
- And one coffee and one milk.
- Sorry, ma'am, no coffee and no milk.
I got tonic water and clam juice,
but they ain't cold.
- Do you want the clam juice?
- Warm? With crackers and olives?
- Never mind the drinks.
- Yes, ma'am. Is that separate checks?
- No, I'll pay the whole thing.
- Yes, sir.
I was going to take you
to one of the best restaurants.
Here you are eating white bread
with nothing to drink.
I wouldn't blame you
if you never talked to me.
- Oh, my God.
- What's wrong?
I lost my left eyelash.
Sure?
I should know if I swallowed an olive
pit. It could rip through my insides.
- How could you swallow one?
- Yawning with my mouth full.
If you don't eat and sleep, you have
to expect accidents like that.
- Come on, we'll get a cab to the hotel.
- I'm suing all of them.
- Excuse me, where is the taxi stand?
- Right out those doors.
- But you won't find no taxis.
- Why not?
- They're on strike.
- A taxi strike?
An everything strike. Taxis, subways,
buses. The whole transit system.
- Sanitation trucks, too.
- How are people getting around?
- There's no strike on walking.
- How far is it to the Waldorf-Astoria?
- About eight blocks from here.
- I remember.
How can a big city like this
have a transit strike?
- It can. Let's just walk.
- I never heard of such a thing.
- Boy. Maybe it'll stop soon.
- Maybe.
- . . I don't think it's gonna stop.
- Ever?
I can't stand here all night.
Without food and sleep,
I won't make that meeting.
I don't mind getting a little wet.
Which way do we go?
th and Park. That way.
- Too fast. You know I have weak ankles.
- The sooner we get there,
- the less wet we'll be.
- Where are we now?
- th and Park!
- And where was Grand Central?
- nd Street.
- And the hotel's at th?
- Yes?
- Aren't we walking the wrong way?
It's been four years since I been here.
They used to mark the streets better.
- What are you stopping for?
- Oh, look at that!
- You've seen garbage before.
- Not so much in one place.
There's a strike,
it's not always like this.
Park Avenue's one of the cleanest
streets in the world!
- Who's going to clean all that up?
- Stop worrying about garbage!
Come on!
- What's the matter?
- I stepped on a bottle.
- I broke my heel on my shoe.
- How did you do that?
By stepping on a bottle
and breaking the heel of my shoe!
- Can you walk?
- I can, but not fast.
You know I have weak ankles.
I don't wanna complain,
but my ankles are buckling.
Clench your toes when you walk.
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
Mr and Mrs Kellerman,
Twin Oaks, Ohio. We finally got here.
- Did you have a reservation?
- Made by the Drexel Company.
- In Twin Oaks, Ohio.
- Thank you.
- You must be pretty busy.
- It's the least we could do.
With this strike they've no way home,
and there's not a room in the city.
- That's very nice of you.
- Here we are. George Kellerman?
That's it.
I hope you got a nice, dry bed.
And a drugstore open. I have to get
an eyelash and tape for my ankle.
This is for the th.
This is Thursday th.
Don't say you didn't hold the room.
We always do except
when otherwise indicated.
Your reservation indicates "hold until
ten p.m." It's now five to three.
- If you had wired or called...
- I couldn't. I was circling and running.
As I say, we hold rooms
unless otherwise indicated.
As you can see, your reservation
clearly indicates "hold until ten p.m.".
I thought I'd be here by eight p.m.
I didn't know I'd fly to Boston,
then take a cattle car to New York,
and then have to walk in a hurricane!
- Verify that to this man.
- I can verify that.
And we didn't expect this strike.
If you'd indicated "hold until arrival"
or had wired or called...
You've already said that. Meanwhile,
I'm dripping all over your lobby!
My wife is shivering with weak ankles.
If I don't get a room, you and your hotel
are fourth on my list to be sued!
- Can you wait here?
- Where would I go during a monsoon?
- My wife is in bad shape. Tell him.
- I'm in bad shape.
- Don't worry, they gotta give us a room.
- I hope so.
I just spoke to Mr Bruzzi,
the assistant manager.
- It's Bruzzi, huh?
- He's sorry for this misunderstanding.
- That's better.
- Unfortunately, we have no free rooms.
I see. Please put your full name and
Mr Bruzzi's name on a piece of paper.
I'll need it for the trial. This is my wife.
She's a witness to all this.
After he puts his name down here,
sign it with the date and exact time.
I may be an insignificant
out-of-towner,
but you people took up
with the wrong person.
- Is there a drugstore open?
- Not until the morning.
- I can send the boy.
- Don't let him, it'll weaken the case.
I have a stomach disorder
which has been aggravated by this.
My lawyer
will get all this information,
along with a doctor's report
about my stomach and her ankle.
We have two airline pilots
in room .
They check out at seven a.m.,
you can have that room at no charge.
I won't be dry until eight! I wouldn't
settle this for less than a million!
- Come on.
- Where? What are we going to do?
Will you come on?
- What are we gonna do?
- Why did you say, "Let's go"?
To prove I mean business!
They can't just shove us around.
He's right.
We should have wired or called.
How can you stand there
dripping all over their lobby
with no heel, no luggage, and say
it's my fault we have no room?
It's not your fault. I'm just suggesting
we sit in the lobby until seven o'clock
and take their room.
What else can we do?
Don't panic. I got you through
all right up to here.
Can I see you a moment, please?
What did I tell you? Call their bluff
and they move pretty fast.
This is for you.
- Yes?
- This is T.I.A. In Boston.
- Did you find my luggage?
- Yes, we did.
- You have claim checks B and ?
- Yeah, B and .
Where are they?
Would you repeat that?
Ohi... Our bags are in Ohio.
They were the last checked through
before the power failure.
The belt stopped before your bags
were put on the plane.
They're putting them on flight
they'll be at your hotel before eight.
I hope they enjoy the flight,
because I won't be at my hotel
because my hotel
gave away my room
for which my hotel
is going to be sued in court!
I want my bags on a plane now
and I want them right here,
not where I was before you didn't
get me there... Understand?
- My wife will verify that.
- I can verify that.
There are no flights,
New York is still fogged in!
You flew me through the fog,
why are you worried about two valises?
What's your name?
No, just your name.
- Robinson.
- And your first name, Mr Robinson?
Clifford. Mr Clifford Robinson.
My golf partner's brother-in-law
is with the Federal Aviation boys.
He'll be getting a telegram tomorrow
from a sick man in New York whose
medicine is in his luggage in Ohio.
Thanks very much, Mr Robinson.
Am I going to get a room or not?
As I said, if you had wired or called...
You hear that? Anything happens
to her, I wouldn't want to be you.
- Can I have your name, please?
- Winkler.
You're going to hear from me.
Come on, Gwen.
You're welcome to stay in the
manager's office until seven o'clock.
There's gotta be a hotel room
somewhere in this city.
Don't worry, I'll straighten this out.
You got a dime?
I told you, in the little grey suitcase!
Save your money.
There's not a room to be had.
- You folks from out of town?
- Ohio. Twin Oaks.
How long do you need a room for?
How long do you need a room for?
Just overnight. I got a big
business meeting tomorrow. Why?
A friend of mine runs a hotel
two blocks from here.
Nothing fancy, mind, but clean.
- If you want a room, it'll cost you ten.
- $ ? That's not expensive.
The ten is for me.
The room will cost you twenty.
- Where's the hotel?
- I don't see the $ .
- Here. Where is it?
- The Ashmont, on st.
Tell Dave that Murray sent you.
Wait.
I may be from Ohio,
but I was born years ago.
How do I know there's a room,
or a Dave, or a Hotel Ashmont?
No one trusts anyone any more.
All right, come on.
I got an umbrella,
I'll take you there myself.
Just give me the number and I'll call.
No. You don't trust me, I'll take
you there. It's only a block away.
Look, if you want the $ back,
it's no skin off my nose.
I don't have a big business meeting
in the morning.
As I said, it's nothing fancy,
but it's clean.
This is very decent of you.
Sorry I was suspicious.
We've had a terrible time,
but we really appreciate this.
If I told you
what we've been through...
You're the first good thing
that's happened to us.
- Hold it.
- What's up?
- Put your hands up.
- Oh, my God!
Up against that wall.
Don't make a sound.
Oh, my God, we're being held up,
it's a hold-up!
- That roll of bills in your right pocket.
- I knew it, I knew it.
George, give him the money, please.
My God, my children.
I could see it coming,
I went right with him.
- You got a wallet?
- Just the cash. I never carry a wallet.
Give him your wallet. It's in his left
pocket. Don't hit him, he's a sick man.
Start walking down the block.
Don't turn around.
Yes, we'll do that,
we won't turn around.
Will you leave me a few
for a room and something to eat?
- That's tough. Start walking.
- Walk, George!
At least leave me the umbrella!
- You're turning, he said don't turn!
- He's gone.
A hold-up! We were in a hold-up!
We might have been killed!
It would've been quicker. Now
we'll starve! Why mention the wallet?
You'd rather be found dead
with two small children in Ohio?
You know what I got in my pocket?
Four pennies!
Two cents each.
You had to mention the wallet!
We're alive, aren't we?
I'm shaking all over.
I need to sit down.
I need a cup of coffee or a drink.
For what? Four cents?!
Cup of coffee...
policemen in New York,
not one comes out in the rain!
Excuse me? My wife and I
are from out of town...
- We got here...
- One second.
- We were held up...
- One second.
Right. Well, they just settled
the sanitation strike.
But the milk trucks just went out.
- We were held up...
- The children won't get milk?
Please. We were held up
outside the Waldorf-Astoria.
He had a gun.
We could've been killed.
- Name?
- His first name is Murray.
- He means our name.
- George and Gwendolyn Kellerman.
- "Gwen" is fine.
- He wants the official name.
- Anyhow...
- Where are you staying?
Nowhere. We were wandering
around, that's how we got robbed.
- Will hospitals have milk?
- Forget the milk!
- You came without a reservation?
- We had one, but we flew to Boston.
By the time we got here,
they gave our room away.
- You should have wired.
- I'm not here to discuss that.
I'm here to discuss the guy
who took my wallet.
He was taking us to the Hotel
Ashmont, at st Street.
- There isn't any Hotel Ashmont.
- We know.
- Then why go?
- We didn't know then.
We found out about it
when the man took my $ .
All right. Sign this
and see Captain Mulligan.
- Why do I have to see him?
- Just sign the form.
I don't want to, I want my wallet!
Where's Captain Mulligan?
- Why doesn't anyone help?
- Should I sign the form?
No, I don't want you to sign it!
Where is Captain Mulligan?
- Second door on the right. Ten a.m.
- The morning? What about tonight?
My husband
has a business appointment...
- I want to report a stolen handbag.
- I'm reporting a stolen wallet.
That's my third stolen handbag.
When will you do something?
As soon as they take care
of my wallet. Who else can I see?
Every cop in this city is busy tonight.
Now, what's your problem?
They took my bag!
Ten feet away from the police station.
- Isn't that terrible!
- What are you talking to her for?
- When did this happen?
- Five minutes ago.
- Can I have your name?
- I screamed, but no one listened.
- Can I have your name, please?
- Sergeant Kovalevski.
- How am I going to buy food?
- I know what you're going through.
- What about what we're going through?
- There's not much we can do.
- Where can we get in touch?
- Right here. We got no place else.
- He was big, about six feet tall.
- Our crook was six feet also!
- No, he wasn't, he was shorter.
- He was, he was six feet.
You got a broken heel.
Everyone looks bigger.
- I broke my heel on garbage.
- Isn't that terrible?
I've got no place to sleep, or money.
What's the city going to do?
- You're not gonna do anything?
- Why don't you go up to the Armory?
The National Guard
has put up some army cots.
- You can get coffee and doughnuts.
- That'll be nice.
I don't want coffee and doughnuts,
I want my wallet!
Meyers, run these people
up to the Armory.
On the way, maybe they could look
for my handbag?
- Come on, at least we'll sleep.
- Did you ever sleep on army cots?
- Lower your voice.
- You wanna sign this?
I'm through carrying pocketbooks.
It makes you a marked woman.
You folks live out of town?
- You folks live out of town?
- Oh, yes.
You're lucky.
I'm falling asleep.
I won't make it to the Armory.
My husband and I haven't eaten
or slept since yesterday morning.
Don't let me fall asleep without eating.
I'll never wake up again.
Meyers. About rd and Third.
But we're taking two people
to the Armory. Right. Pull up, Benny.
Change of plans.
You'll have to get out here.
- Is this the Armory?
- About eight blocks from here.
- We got a liquor store hold-up.
- Can't you drop us off first?
Please cooperate.
We're short of squad cars.
- Come on, we have to get out.
- Let's get moving, man.
- Come on, wake up.
- We have to get out and walk.
- We've got a hold-up.
- Can't you catch him later?
- Please don't argue.
- Where are we?
I was supposed to get protection
and transportation from the police.
I'm doing this for your protection.
We don't want you to get hurt.
- The policeman knows best!
- I won't be pushed around forever.
- I'm not getting out of the car.
- It's your move, man.
st and First!
- They're running.
- Let's get 'em.
- We're gonna chase them!
- I changed my mind, let us off.
We can't stop now!
I warned you before!
They're turning, Benny.
I want your badge numbers!
I'm through being intimidated.
There they are!
Stay there and don't move!
Five after four. By the time they
catch 'em and drop us,
it'll be five o'clock
before we're in the cots.
Why not rob a grocery store?
I could've gotten milk.
- They haven't any, they're on strike.
- Move it, man, move it!
- Let's get the hell out of here!
- Oh, my God, we're being kidnapped.
- I'm a business executive from...
- Cool it, folks. Nice and cool.
We have nothing to do with this.
I'm a businessman.
We have two small children in Ohio,
and my husband isn't well.
Drop us off at the next corner.
We swear we won't bear witness.
- Tell them we won't bear witness.
- We really won't bear witness, no.
Yeah? Who's calling, please?
I'm sorry, he's out to lunch.
This is the butler.
- You shouldn't fool with that.
- None of our business.
We're from Ohio.
Let the man fool with it.
- Let's dump 'em in the park.
- Central Park? At four in the morning?
Don't argue with them. The park
will be just fine with us, thank you.
- Gwen...
- I don't want to discuss it.
- You're not mad at me, are you?
- I just don't want to discuss it!
I lost my shoe getting out of the car.
They were told to take us
to the Armory. It's their responsibility.
That will comfort my orphaned children.
- Please look for my shoe.
- If it wasn't for the fog and strikes,
we'd be fed and asleep in the hotel.
You concede that?
If I were discussing it I'd concede it,
but I don't want to!
Look, a car! Hey!
I hope you get in trouble some day!
- There's my shoe.
- Where?
In the road,
where the car just went over it.
- The heel was broken anyway.
- I'm wearing that one.
- What do we do now?
- I'm open for suggestions.
- We can't stay here.
- That's a good suggestion. Come on.
That is not a good idea.
You'll step on something.
- I'll deal with that when I come to...
- What's the matter?
- I just came to it.
- What is it?
- It's sharp, pointy and painful.
- It's the flip part of a flip-top can.
- Slobs in this city.
- Is it bleeding?
Oh, just a little.
- But it's bleeding?
- Yes, it's bleeding!
Oh, my God, it's bleeding.
All right, come on.
- You can't walk with a bleeding foot!
- I'd fly, but New York is fogged in.
- There's no need for sarcasm.
- Or bleeding, but they both came out.
- Could we please get out of this park?
- With pleasure.
- Put me down!
- If you bleed, you'll get an infection.
Then you have to go to hospital,
but they're probably on strike.
- You can't walk, so I'm carrying you.
- You haven't eaten in hours!
Neither have you.
You're not heavy. Don't worry.
I'm not worried, George.
When did I ever say I was worried?
- I can't make it, Gwen.
- Put me down, George.
We can't stop now,
we gotta get to the Armory
so I can get some sleep.
I've got an interview...
You'll rupture yourself. You already
have an ulcer. Now, put me down.
Five minutes,
we'll just rest five minutes.
George, there's no point in going on.
- Why not try to sleep here?
- Here? In the open?
We could go underneath a tree,
like when we go camping.
In a $ tent
with a stove and some steaks
and a record player.
George, I can't walk
and you can't carry me.
There are no buses or taxis,
and no car will pick up strangers.
- It's not safe.
- We've already been robbed!
We have nothing to lose
but four cents. Please, George!
- Suppose it rains again?
- I'm so wet it would make me drier.
It'll be light soon, anyway. If I could
only close my eyes for a few hours.
It's drier near the tree, George.
Oh, God. With our luck,
we'll probably be attacked by squirrels.
Keep your body next to mine.
It's warmer that way. There!
Oh, they're gonna pay for it.
A lot of people
are going to pay for this night.
Don't mumble,
you'll keep yourself awake.
People were safer in the war.
With bombs dropping, they were safer.
- Go to sleep, George.
- You bet I will.
- Goodnight, George.
- Goodnight, Gwen.
- What time shall I wake you?
- That won't be a problem.
Go to sleep.
- Goodnight, George.
- Goodnight.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my neck. Oh, my neck.
Can't move my neck.
Where are you, Gwen?
Where are you?
Breakfast!
I found Cracker Jack on a bench!
- Go on, get out! Dog, get out!
- Nice doggy. He's hungry.
You can't have it, it's our breakfast.
Go away!
Shoo!
You can't have it! We need it
more than you do!
Here, dog! Come here!
That dog should have been
on a leash. There's no excuse for that.
I would've caught him,
but couldn't run in your shoes.
- Is your foot all right?
- It's better, but it's not all right.
- What's that?
- Dog's collar came off.
"Corky".
Owner, Mrs Nancy Silverberg.
OK, Corky, Mrs Silverberg.
"Attention, Board of Health..."
There's still a little left, George.
Why don't you eat it?
Sure it's all right? You found it
on a bench, a dog's been at it...
No, it's got dextrose and corn syrup
and niacin. You need the energy.
- Here.
- Oh, thank you.
You could have been having
breakfast in bed this morning.
Orange juice and eggs and sausages
and buttered toast with...
marmalade
and a pot full of hot coffee.
Instead, you're eating stale
Cracker Jack left by a dog
in an underpass in Central Park at...
Where's my watch?
- My watch.
- Don't get excited.
- I'm not excited. Where is it?
- It all happened so quickly.
- What happened?
- You said you wouldn't get excited!
That's before what you said.
Where's my watch?
I gave it to a man in a black cape
while you were sleeping.
You gave my $ watch to a man
in a black cape? Why?
Because it looked like he had a knife.
I told you, it all happened so quickly!
- Why didn't you wake me up?
- I didn't want you to get knifed!
You're telling me I was mugged
while I was sleeping?
By a man in a cape?
I don't believe that.
You were robbed by a man with an
umbrella. You believed that, didn't you?
- He didn't ask for any money?
- He just took the watch and ran.
He didn't ask for the watch,
you just gave it to him?
- I had to. He had a knife!
- Did you see the knife?
A man doesn't stand over you
at four a.m. In a cape
- if he doesn't have a knife, does he?
- I don't know, it's never come up!
I don't want to discuss it.
- Here are your shoes.
- You wear them.
I don't have an interview
at nine o'clock.
I don't have a watch
I don't know when nine o'clock is.
I don't want to wear
or discuss your shoes.
Eat your Cracker Jack.
I'm sorry, George.
I guess I must be a little irritable.
I am sorry about your watch.
I was thinking, we could go
to the Travelers Aid Society.
They lend money to stranded people.
We could find out where the office is.
What do you think, George?
- What do you think?
- I think I just busted a tooth.
- On the Cracker Jack?
- I must have swallowed the prize.
- It felt like a little tin toy.
- Let me see.
Right in the front of my mouth.
There goes my smile!
- Maybe it's not busted.
- I can feel it. It's busted!
Can I look?
You're right, it's busted.
That does it. I can't possibly...
If I got money, if I shaved...
I could never get that job
without a smile!
- Maybe a dentist could cap it.
- For four cents.
- We could ask Travelers Aid.
- They don't cap teeth.
- I'm just making suggestions.
- Here's your shoes.
Try and find the Travelers Aid office...
Did you hear that?
A whistling sound...
I'm whistling through my broken tooth.
- I don't hear it.
- On the "s". It's a whistling sound!
You think they'll give the job to a man
who can't smile and whistles?
Not on your sweet life.
So, OK, come on.
Look at the sun, it must be . .
I'll never make it.
- There's still time. Don't give up.
- I'm not giving up, but I won't make it.
Giving up is when
you can make it, but give up.
- Wait a minute.
- We can't stop, look at the time!
George, listen.
There's someone crying.
- It's not our business.
- Maybe someone's in trouble.
Maybe it's the man with the cape.
He doesn't like my watch.
- Oh, George. Look.
- What?
- He's alone. Maybe he's lost.
- Maybe he's not lost, just alone.
He wouldn't be crying. I'm gonna
go see. Here I come, sweetheart.
What's wrong? Why all the crying?
Where's your mummy and daddy?
He doesn't speak English.
He'll have to wait until
some Spanish speakers come by.
- We can't just leave him here.
- Give him your heel to play with.
He looks so hungry and frightened.
You have got to do something.
Me?! I chased a dog across
Central Park for a box of Cracker Jack.
- I should feed a strange mouth?
- Become like everyone else in this city,
only worry about yourself.
Go! You'll be late for your appointment.
I'll stay here with you.
Don't you worry, little one.
Tell him where you slept last night.
See how safe he feels.
I've never seen you
like this before.
I never saw you in my shoes
before, but we're in trouble!
I've got no money and no luggage.
I've got no future unless
I'm at th and Park at nine a.m.,
sharp, clean and alert.
This is no time to be a foster parent.
- Well, I'm not going to leave him.
- All right, all right.
- See if he's got money.
- What?
See if he's got money, then we can
call Travelers Aid to take care of us.
You want me to look in his pockets
for money? A poor Spanish boy?
If he wants us to help him,
he's gotta help us.
- Suppose somebody sees you?
- We'll explain that the child's lost.
We've only got four cents so we...
I see what you mean.
I'll do it in the bushes. Come on,
I'm just gonna look for some money.
Dinero? Peseta? I'm George,
and I'm your friend. Amigo?I just want to look in your pockets...
- What you doing with that boy?
- I didn't see you there...
- I'm a business executive from Ohio...
- Take your hands off that boy!You have the wrong idea! The childis lost and I was looking for money...
- Officer! Pervert in the park!
- No, please don't do that.
- Run! Just do what I tell you, run!
- Pervert in the park!Pervert! Officer!
- Why didn't you stop and explain?
- Explain?!
What I'm doing with a little boy
with my hands in his pockets?
They'd give me ten to twenty years!
I begged you to leave that kid alone!
I did the right thing.
That child was scared to death.
Right now he's eating an ice cream,
and I'm a hunted pervert!
- Let's go out the west side.
- I can't move.
You chased a dog and beat a horse.
You're stronger than you think.
I promised I would call the children.
If I don't, they will be worried.
Right now they're eating breakfast.
Worry about us.
You haven't thought about them
since we left.
About their future
if anything should happen to us?
- Have you thought about them once?
- Yes!
Are you gonna walk or stand here
and have a P.T.A. Meeting?
That tone of voice again!
Ever since they lost our luggage
you have been sourcastic with me,
and irritable, and insensitive
and intolerant!
Oh, my God. My ring just came off.
- I just lost my ring.
- Now?! Now you lost your ring?
Sorry, next time I'll do it
when you're not in a hurry!
- How could it slip off?
- I haven't eaten. My fingers are thinner.
years she hasn't taken it off.
Now she loses it!
Don't talk to me in the third person,
I'm here in the first person!
I'm not, I'm talking to myself
in the second person.
Why wear a ring
when you always wear gloves?
Why wear socks
when you always wear shoes?
Why argue if my career
is over at nine o'clock?
Go on, go to your appointment.
Don't you worry about me.
I will just stay here and scrape
and dig down to the bone until...
It's only a $ band of gold. If I get the
job, I'll buy you one hundred of 'em.
- Forget it.
- Forget my wedding ring?
How can you say such a thing?
How can you be so inhuman?
It's my wedding ring.
I don't want another one.
- I want the one you put on my finger.
- I didn't mean anything by it.
It's the only thing I own
that I really care about.
I'm not going to forget it or leave it.
- I don't care what you do...
- You're upset.
That's right.
I'm gonna stay and look.
- You're tired and upset.
- Leave me alone.
- We're not going to go away...
- Take your hands off of me!
We'll stay until we find the ring...
- What are you doing?
- Are you all right?
That's my husband!
George, are you all right?
- Why didn't she say something?
- I told you! Never help nobody!
- Speak to me.
- I begged you to forget that ring.
- Where did he hit you?
- First time, in the ribs.
- Then, in the same place.
- Is it your ribs?
No, my knee.
I'm kneeling on your ring.
For heaven's sake, thank you.
Will you look at that?
- Well, I just feel better already.
- Hoodlums.
- Can't you walk faster?
- With no heels and torn shoes?
I've worn through my stockings,
I'm down to skin!
A bus! The strike
must have ended. Run!
- We don't have any money!
- It's a public vehicle, they gotta take us!
Arthur Fischetti, huh? He won't be
driving a bus very long, I promise you.
You should have sat down like I said.
He wouldn't have thrown us off.
A yelling man is one thing,
a sitting woman is something else.
- Why are you standing there?
- I'm finished.
I can't take any more.
I have no more strength.
You're just going to stand there
forever?
- At th Street and Central Park West?
- Until I die or I'm rescued.
You're giving up,
after you told me not to give up?
You have to make your own
decisions now. I choose giving up.
Come on, you've got two children
to think about.
I'm not going to move
from this spot until...
- What's the matter?
- I don't know. Listen.
- What is it?
- Sounds like a gas main.
George, get off!
It's gonna blow! Get off!
You hear me? Just get off!
George, are you all right?
Are you all right?
- George, can you hear me now?
- Yeah.
Has the ringing stopped?
The ringing hasn't stopped,
but you can hear me?
If you'd walked when I said,
I wouldn't have been there.
I can't hear again, Con Edison'll pay
for this. Say something.
- What?
- What?
- Say something. Anything.
- I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault.
My ankles were giving out.
I can only hear every other word,
like a bad phone connection.
It was the explosion.
It'll clear up in a minute.
"It'll up a minute." That's all I heard.
George, stop it,
you're getting me nervous!
They won't give a vice-presidency to
a man who hears half of everything.
I'm supposed to listen
to all important meetings!
- Do you know where we are?
- What was the second part?
Do you know where we are now?
It's a church.
Maybe if we pray very hard,
we'll still be able to make it.
- How, if you stop to pray?
- What we need is hope and courage.
What I need is a barber and a dentist.
I don't mean any disrespect,
but of all the times to go to church...
- We're closed.
- The church is closed?
I'm sorry, it's a TV rehearsal.
We're televising on Sunday.
My wife just wants to pray
for five minutes.
I understand, but I got my orders
from the network.
It's a closed TV rehearsal.
No one is allowed in until two o'clock.
You mean to say that my wife
and I can't sit here and pray?
- Forget it, we'll go to another church.
- You stay there, they can't stop you.
- There's no public praying until two!
- We need it now!
I don't want to argue. My orders
are to keep everyone out until two.
We got wires here, you could get hurt.
You're denying my divine rights
to worship in the House of the Lord.
Until two o'clock, when you get
your "divine rights" back.
- Can I have your name?
- Lennie Moyers.
- Forget it.
- I can forget my watch, my money.
I am not going to forget
my divine rights!
OK, let your network know they can
expect a letter from my lawyers.
Come on. Don't know
if you're a religious man,
but if I were you, at two o'clock
I'd start praying for my job!
Come on, come on.
What are we doing wrong?
We can't ride, we can't walk,
we can't eat, we can't pray!
As long as we got our brains,
we can think.
- They'll get that too, you'll see.
- We're not licked yet.
Yes, we are. We're licked, George.
- We surrender, New York, you win!
- We don't surrender!
Do you hear that, New York?
We don't quit! How do you like that?
You can rob me, starve me,
break my teeth and my wife's ankles!
- I'm not leaving! You're just a city.
- Somebody'll hear you!
I'm a person, and I'm stronger than a
city! This is George Kellerman talking!
You're not getting away with anything!
I got your names and addresses!
We're riding in a car to the Waldorf
and they're giving us a room
and a hot bath and a decent meal,
because I'm through fooling around.
- How will we get there?
- How? I'll show you how.
Will you help us, please?
My wife can't walk
and we've got to get
to the Waldorf-Astoria.
If you've got any decency as a human
being, you won't leave us here.
Come on.
God bless you, sir. If you knew
what we've been through...
You wouldn't believe it.
Mr and Mrs Kellerman, from Ohio.
Manuel Vargas.
I am from out of town, too. Cuba.
- Really? Here on business?
- Just arrived.
I am the new delegate of Cuba
to the United Nations.
The first person who's nice to us
is another out-of-towner.
Our Cuban Mission
is on th and Park.
I will get off there and my chauffeur
will take you to your destination.
- Lock the doors!
- We'll walk the rest of the way.
Stay in the car, they'll tear you apart.
Looks like trouble ahead.
Can't you tell them
we're not with you?
Us neutral! Non politico!
We're from Twin Oaks, Ohio!
My husband's in the plastic business!
- Bastard. Bastard!
- No comprende.
Where is the police?
We were promised protection!
Don't just sit there!
Can't you do something?
- Don't panic. It's just a demonstration.
- And then they'll kill us!
Try not to look afraid,
that's what they want. Show no fear.
Wave, just wave your hand.
What the hell are you doing here?
Come on!
I'm still not talking to you!
Get us out of here.
They're taking pictures! It'll be on TV!
"Communist"! My career is over!
- I'm blacking out, somebody help me!
- "Card-carrying Commie pervert"!
Don't pull, please don't pull!
Oh, my God, my straps are broken!
- What time is it?
- Five minutes after eight.
We can still make it,
we still got a chance.
- I think I'm going to pass out.
- No, you're not.
Wait till the hotel,
you can pass out there.
No, I'm gonna pass out here.
I'm dizzy, I'm gonna faint.
- No, you're not!
- I am. Watch.
She passed out.
Five after eight, and she passes out.
. I'm not forgetting
those badge numbers.
- Thank you very much.
- Why? For deserting us?
My name is Kellerman,
I was here last night...
- One minute...
- I better not have trouble with you.
- Hello!
- Hello.
I see you made it.
I stayed in Boston last night.
- Mr Cooper.
- They held a room for you?
- I just wired ahead. What about you?
- Same thing.
- See you around some time.
- See you.
It could have been foggy,
he'd still be in Boston.
- Now, can I help you?
- My name is George Kellerman...
- One moment, please.
- Please, I don't have one moment!
- If I don't get the room...
- We have your room. Suite .
I was getting a message for you.
Things have eased up
since the strike was settled.
Here, your luggage arrived
and is in your room.
- If you'll sign the register...
- They settled.
- Why didn't they settle yesterday?
- Are you all right, ma'am?
Do you know
what she's been through?
- Tell him later. Help me now.
- Could I have a bellboy to help?
You're gonna get hot food
and tape for your ankles.
- Help Mrs Kellerman to .
- Yes, sir.
- This way, ma'am.
- I'm so humiliated.
It'll all be in the lawsuit.
Murray, the humiliation, everything.
The bed, put her on the bed.
- Turn on the bath.
- What time is it?
- minutes to .
- I got minutes to eat and dress.
- Where's my suitcase?
- On the rack. Will that be all, sir?
You're waiting for a tip.
All I got is four cents.
If you're interested, you can have 'em.
- Right, sir.
- Please turn on the bath.
Have a bath when I leave.
Call room service.
Get hot food for two people,
and tell them I only got minutes.
May I have room service, please?
I have no feeling in my lower body.
- What's wrong?
- It's locked. This suitcase is locked.
- Open it with the key.
- What key?
The key you keep
in your wallet that opens...
- Oh, my God, you don't have the key.
- Murray has the key.
In there is a clean shirt and razor.
And out there is a crook
with glasses and my key!
If there's any justice, let him get mugged
by the man who took my watch!
- Can't you break it open with a knife?
- That's called a "Diplomatic Courier".
It's for important diplomatic papers.
Can't open it with a grenade.
- How about a locksmith?
- In minutes? He'd have to feed me.
That's the last time
I buy good luggage. Never again!
Hello, is it possible
to get hot food in ten minutes?
It's not possible. At least an hour.
Be at least an hour.
There's a convention here.
I hope it's morticians,
'cause I may kill somebody.
Why not call and say you'll be late?
They'll understand.
There's no room for lateness in a
company making precision instruments.
Nine o'clock means nine o'clock.
Any slob can show up at ten o'clock.
Damn it, I'm gonna be there by nine!
I want this job!
A little obstacle like New York City
is not gonna stop me!
They got my money, my watch,
my tooth. They didn't stop me.
You want something bad enough,
nothing can stop you, right?
I'll be back in one hour. I'm gonna be
the vice-president in charge of sales.
Oh, my God!
I wanna tell you something.
No matter what happens,
- thanks for standing by me.
- I want you to be happy.
- God, your beard!
- I'm sorry. Excuse me.
It's getting worse.
The "s" is getting worse.
- A complimentary basket of fruit, sir.
- Good, let me have an apple.
I'll take a banana. Thank you.
- Mr Kellerman is here, Mr Drexel.
- Send him in.
You may go in, Mr Kellerman.
Thank you.
Come in.
- Yes?
- I'm Kellerman.
Kellerman, nine o'clock on the dot.With the transit trouble,I didn't expect to see you on time.
No problem, sir.
A couple of minor inconveniences...
Gwen, they want me.
Vice-presidency, double the salary.
They'll find us an apartment
and our choice of schools for the kids.
And seats for the Giants games
and a season's ballet subscription.
They're crazy about me,
broken tooth and all.
- What did you say?
- What did I say?
- What do you think I said?
- I don't know.
I was hoping you would say no.
I was hoping you'd say you and
your wife don't belong in New York.
You wanted to live your life in Ohio.
That you never wanted to see
another big city.
That you don't want to live here,
or in Chicago, or San Francisco,
or any other place where people
have to live on top of each other,
and they don't have enough room
to walk, or breath, or smile.
You don't want to step
on garbage in the streets,
or have to give away watches
in your sleep to men in black capes.
That you were through travelling
on trains with no seats or food,
flying on planes with no place to land,
and no luggage waiting for you.
And you wished you never came, and
the only thing you really want was...
to pick up your wife, and carry
her to the airport, and fly home
and live happily ever after.
That's what I was hoping
you would say, George.
That's funny. That's what I told them,
word for word.
- Coffee or tea with dinner?
- Nothing.
We're having a big meal
as soon as we get in.
Will we be on time?
My children are waiting at the airport.
We anticipate no delays.
We'll be landing in minutes.
- Thank you.
- Stop worrying. We're going home.
I won't feel better
till I'm back in my own house.
Could I have a cup of coffee?
It won't spoil my dinner.
Gwen, relax. You've been
a nervous wreck this whole trip.
- Can I get by?
- Sit down.
- I beg your pardon?
- I said sit down!
- I want to go in there!
- You'll go where I tell you!
Everybody, sit down and be quiet.
This plane is going to Havana, Cuba.
Oh, my God!