Priest Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Priest script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Linus Roache gay priest movie.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Priest. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Priest Script


 

                   

[ Church Bell Tolling ]



 

                   

[ Man ]

WE FEEL EARLY RETIREMENT WILL BE

THE MOST SUITABLE THING FOR YOU.



 

                   

STAY ON AT ST. MARY'S

FOR A FEW MONTHS--

SAY TILL JANUARY.



 

                   

IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON,

OLD SON.



 

                   

IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.



 

                   

[ Dog Barking ]



 

                   

[ Laughing, Chattering ]



 

                   

[ Children All Chattering

  At Once ]



 

                   

[ Screaming ]



  

                   

[ Screaming Grows Louder ]



  

                   

[ Glass Shattering ]



  

                   

[ Wind Blowing ]



  

                   

[ Older Man ]

I WAS PLANNING TO REPLACE HIM

IN THE NEW YEAR,



  

                   

BUT IN THE LIGHT OF THE WIND

OF IT, I DECIDED TO GIVE HIM

THE PUSH NOW.



  

                   

THERE'S A YOUNG PRIEST

CALLED GREG PILKINGTON.



  

                   

DOWN SOUTH AT THE MOMENT.

WANTS TO COME UP HERE,

DO HIS BIT FOR THE INNER CITY.



  

                   

WHAT'S HE LIKE ?

HE'S A WEE BIT

MORE ORTHODOX THAN YOU.



  

                   

MIND YOU,

COLONEL GADDAFI'D BE A WEE BIT

MORE ORTHODOX THAN YOU.



  

                   

[ Phone Ringing ]

YES ?



  

                   

OH !

PUT HIM THROUGH.



  

                   

HELLO.  YES.



  

                   

FINE.



  

                   

YES, I'VE GOT THAT.

UH-HUH.



  

                   

[ Doorbell Rings ]



  

                   

OH, COME IN, FATHER.

[ Footsteps Approaching ]



  

                   

HELLO.



  

                   

[ Chuckles ]

HELLO.



  

                   

[ Women ]

HELLO, FATHER.



  

                   

[ Women Chattering ]



  

                   

-[ Fr. Greg ]

 WHY DID YOU DO IT ?

- BECAUSE HE SACKED ME.



  

                   

WELL, WE'VE ALL

GOT TO GO EVENTUALLY.

IT WAS THE WAY HE DID IT.



  

                   

I GAVE IT MY LIFE.

IN RETURN, I GOT A CUP OF TEA,

A BISCUIT...



  

                   

AND "IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON,

OLD SON."



  

                   

OH, HE LOOKED UP

FROM WHAT HE WAS WRITIN'.



  

                   

"IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON,

 OLD SON."



  

                   

[ Doors Closing ]



  

                   

[ Footsteps ]



  

                   

HI.

SORRY I WASN'T HERE

TO MEET YOU.



  

                   

MATTHEW THOMAS.

GREG PILKINGTON.



  

                   

UH, MARIA KERRIGAN.

HELLO.



  

                   

HELLO.



  

                   

- SO, UH, TEA ?

- WELL, THAT WOULD BE NICE.



  

                   

RIGHT.



  

                   

SITTING BULL.



  

                   

NOBILITY,

EVEN IN DEFEAT.



  

                   

SO, UH,

SHE'S OUR HOUSEKEEPER ?



  

                   

YEAH.



  

                   

IT'S AN ARTICLE OF FAITH--

ISN'T IT--  SOMEWHERE BETWEEN

TRANSUBSTANTIATION...



  

                   

AND PAPAL INFALLIBILITY:



  

                   

HOUSEKEEPERS MUST BE UGLY.



  

                   

SORRY.

[ Pouring Tea ]



  

                   

NICE WORD:



  

                   

SCAPEGOAT.



  

                   

IT DATES BACK

TO AN OLD JEWISH CUSTOM.



  

                   

THEY USED TO INVEST

ALL THE SINS OF THE TRIBE

INTO A GOAT.



  

                   

THEN KICK IT UP THE BACKSIDE

SO IT ESCAPED INTO THE HILLS

TAKING ALL THE SINS WITH IT.



  

                   

AND WE'VE GOT

A SCAPEGOAT TODAY.



  

                   

IT'S THAT MYTHICAL BEAST

CALLED SOCIETY.



  

                   

DRUG ADDICTION;

ALCOHOLISM;



  

                   

GAMBLING; PROSTITUTION;

VIOLENCE.



  

                   

THEY'RE NOT

OUR SINS ANYMORE.



  

                   

THEY'RE NOT THE FAULT

OF THE INDIVIDUAL ANYMORE.



  

                   

THEY'RE SOCIETY'S FAULT.



  

                   

WELL, I'M SORRY,

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

[ Sighs ]



  

                   

WHAT DID YOU THINK ?



  

                   

INTERESTING.



  

                   

YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT.



  

                   

I FOUND IT OFFENSIVE.



  

                   

YOU EXPECT

LESS OF THE PEOPLE BECAUSE

THEY LIVE IN A POOR PARISH.



  

                   

I FINDTHATOFFENSIVE.



  

                   

PATRONIZING.



  

                   

REALLY ?



  

                   

?? AND THERE'S A GUARD ?

?

[ People Chattering,

  Laughing ]



  

                   

- ?? AND A SAD OLD PADRE ??

- [ Crowd Cheering ]



  

                   

?? ON AND ON

  WE'LL WALK AT DAYBREAK ??



  

                   

?? AGAIN I'LL TOUCH

  THE GREEN, GREEN GRASS ??



  

                   

?? OF HOME ??



  

                   

[ Woman Laughing ]



  

                   

[ Everybody ]

?? YES, THEY'LL ALL

  COME TO SEE ME ??



  

                   

?? IN THE SHADE

  OF THAT OLD OAK TREE ??



  

                   

?? AS THEY LAY ME ??



  

                   

?? 'NEATH THE GREEN

  GREEN GRASS ??



  

                   

?? OF HOME ????



  

                   

[ Crowd Cheering,

  Whistling ]



  

                   

-[ Fr. Matthew ]  UNDIGNIFIED ?

-[ Fr. Greg ]  YES.



  

                   

THANKS.

YOU DIDN'T BUY

ANY DRINKS.



  

                   

[ Footsteps Continue

  Climbing ]



  

                   

[ Knocking ]

MATTHEW.



  

                   

[ Man Speaking On TV ]



  

                   

????



  

                   

[ Man Singing In Spanish ]



  

                   

[ Fr. Matthew ]

THE CREATION OF MANKIND

ONLY STARTED ON THE SIXTH DAY.



  

                   

???? [ Fades ]

IT HASN'T STOPPED YET.



  

                   

WE'RE TALLER THAN WE WERE

A THOUSAND YEARS AGO.



  

                   

WE'RE FITTER, FASTER.

WE LIVE LONGER.



  

                   

WE'RE BETTER EDUCATED.



  

                   

MORE INFORMED.



  

                   

SO, CREATION...



  

                   

IS AN ONGOING PROCESS.



   

                   

AND IF YOU INTERFERE

WITH IT,



   

                   

AREN'T YOU SPITTING

IN THE FACE OF GOD ?



   

                   

IF YOU EXPLOIT

YOUR WORK FORCE,



   

                   

DON'T YOU SPIT

IN THE FACE OF GOD ?

[ Man ]  YOU DO.



   

                   

IF YOU KILL AND MAIM,



   

                   

THROW PEOPLE OUT OF THEIR HOMES,

TURN YOUR BACK ON THE ELDERLY,



   

                   

IF YOU SHUT DOWN SCHOOLS

AND HOSPITALS,



   

                   

FORCE PEOPLE OUT

ON THE DOLE--



   

                   

IN FACT,

IF YOU DO ANYTHING...



   

                   

TO PREVENT ONE SINGLE

HUMAN BEING REACHING

THEIR FULL POTENTIAL,



   

                   

AREN'T YOU INTERFERING

IN CREATION...



   

                   

AND SPITTING

IN THE FACE OF GOD ?

[ Man ]  YES.



   

                   

THAT'S WHAT I BELIEVE.



   

                   

THAT'S MY TRUTH.



   

                   

THAT'S WHAT MADE ME

BECOME A PRIEST,



   

                   

[ Watch Ticking ]

AND MAKES ME

REMAIN A PRIEST.



   

                   

THE PEACE OF THE LORD

BE WITH YOU ALWAYS.



   

                   

[ Congregation ]

AND ALSO WITH YOU.



   

                   

LET US OFFER EACH OTHER

THE SIGN OF PEACE.



   

                   

????



   

                   

PEACE BE WITH YOU.

PEACE BE WITH YOU, SON.



   

                   

[ Congregation ]

PEACE BE WITH YOU.



   

                   

PEACE BE WITH YOU.



   

                   

PEACE BE WITH YOU.

[ Man ]

PEACE BE WITH YOU.



   

                   

PEACE BE WITH YOU.

PEACE BE WITH YOU.



   

                   

PEACE BE WITH YOU, FATHER.



   

                   

PEACE BE WITH YOU,

MAGGIE.

PEACE BE WITH YOU, FATHER.



   

                   

PEACE BE WITH YOU.

PEACE BE WITH YOU, FATHER.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKIN':



   

                   

ANY MINUTE NOW,

HE'LL TAKE HIS PANTS OFF.

[ Laughing ]



   

                   

PEACE BE WITH YOU.



   

                   

IT WASN'T A SERMON.  IT WAS

A PARTY POLITICAL BROADCAST

ON BEHALF OF THE LABOUR PARTY.



   

                   

THERE'S SOCIAL SIN

AND THERE'S PERSONAL SIN.

IT'S JUST SICKENING !



   

                   

I THINK WE SHOULD PUT

MORE EMPHASIS ON THE SOCIAL.

THERE'S JUST SIN.



   

                   

MATTHEW, YOU CAN'T CHANGE THE

RULES JUST BECAUSE THEY DON'T

SUIT YOU; THERE'SJUSTSIN.



   

                   

[ Thunder Rumbling ]



   

                   

ARE YOU JUDGING ME ?



   

                   

FOR GOD'S SAKE,

GET RID OF HER.



   

                   

[ Thunderclap ]



   

                   

I WAS IN SOUTH AMERICA

FOR FOUR YEARS.



   

                   

IN THE VILLAGE

I WAS IN,



   

                   

YOU HAD TO HAVE A WOMAN,

OTHERWISE YOU WERE IGNORED.



   

                   

SO I GOT ONE,

FAST.



   

                   

WHERE IS SHE NOW ?



   

                   

SHE'S STILL THERE.



   

                   

SHE SERVED HER PURPOSE ?

WELL, THAT'S WHAT

YOU WANNA HEAR, ISN'T IT ?



   

                   

SO, YEAH...

I DUMPED HER.



   

                   

YOU'RE VERY CERTAIN OF YOURSELF,

AREN'T YOU, GREG ?



   

                   

WELL, I'M NOT.

YES !



   

                   

A FEW MONTHS IN THIS PARISH,

YOU'LL BE A LOT LESS CERTAIN.

[ Scoffs ]



   

                   

A FEW YEARS--

NO, I'VE LOOKED AROUND

AT OTHER PRIESTS--



   

                   

A FEW YEARS AND YOU'LL BE

UTTERLY CONFUSED.

A FEW YEARS--



   

                   

THOSE MIDDLE-AGED TRENDY LEFTIES

JUMPING UP WITH EXCITEMENT

EVERY TIME A FACTORY CLOSED...



   

                   

OR A WAR BREAKS OUT !

A FEW YEARS MORE AND YOU MIGHT

LEARN A LITTLE BIT OF HUMILITY.



   

                   

SPIRITUALLY EMPTY, FASTENING

ONTO OTHER PEOPLE'S MISERY,

FIGHTING OTHER PEOPLE'S FIGHTS !



   

                   

ANYTHING TO FILL

THE EMPTINESS INSIDE !

TO HELL WITH THAT !



   

                   

WE'RE PRIESTS.

WE'RE NOT BLOODY SOCIAL WORKERS.

WE'RE PRIESTS !



   

                   

SACRAMENTS;

RECONCILIATION;



   

                   

MORAL GUIDANCE;

THAT'S OUR JOB.



   

                   

MORAL GUIDANCE.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, MATTHEW.



   

                   

MORAL GUIDANCE FROM A MAN

WITH A BIT ON THE SIDE.



   

                   

IF YOU'RE GONNA JUDGE,

YOU SHOULD KNOW ALL THE FACTS.



   

                   

WE LOVE EACH OTHER.

HE'S ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM.

[ Thunder Rumbling ]



   

                   

THAT MEANS HIM

LEAVIN' THE PRIESTHOOD,

SO I'VE SAID "NO."



   

                   

OH, NOT BECAUSE I'M A MARTYR

TO THE FAITH.



   

                   

BECAUSE ONE DAY HE MIGHT REGRET

IT, AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT

LOOK IN HIS EYES IF HE DOES.



   

                   

ANYTHING ELSE

YOU SHOULD KNOW ?



   

                   

OH, YEAH.



   

                   

I SEDUCED HIM.

HE DIDN'T SEDUCE ME.



   

                   

I'VE GOT A FEW BOB

STASHED AWAY...



   

                   

AND I'M IN A PENSION SCHEME IN

WORK, SO WE WON'T BE DESTITUTE

WHEN HE POPS HIS CLOGS.



   

                   

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO KNOW,

I'LL BE OUT THERE WASHIN'

YOUR POTS AND PANS,



   

                   

TAKIN' A SCRUBBIN' BRUSH

TO YOUR UNDERPANTS.



   

                   

OKAY ?



   

                   

[ Departing Footsteps ]



   

                   

I'M SORRY.



   

                   

RIGHT.



   

                   

[ Door Closes ]



   

                   

[ Door Opens ]



   

                   

CAN I ASK YOU

TO BE DISCREET ?



   

                   

OF COURSE.



   

                   

I WAS THINKING OF DOING

SOME HOME VISITS.



   

                   

[ Chuckles ]

COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.



   

                   

I DISAGREE.



   

                   

[ Children Chattering ]



   

                   

[ Man ]

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO

YA THINK YOU'RE DOIN' ?



   

                   

[ Dogs Barking ]



   

                   

NOPE.

YOU PUT IT OUT THERE.



   

                   

[ All Chattering At Once ]

[ Siren Wailing ]



   

                   

[ Pressing Button ]



   

                   

[ Zips Up Pants ]



   

                   

HOLY WATER.



   

                   

HELLO.

IS THIS A CATHOLIC HOME

BY ANY CHANCE ?



   

                   

PISS OFF !



   

                   

[ Children Shouting ]



   

                   

- [ Dog Barking ]

- HELLO ?



   

                   

[ Man ]

HELLO ?

ARE YOU CATHOLIC ?



   

                   

[ Man ]  WHO IS IT ?

WHAT--  SHUT UP !  WHAT ?

[ Barking ]



   

                   

[ Fr. Greg ]

ARE YOU CATHOLIC ?

WHO IS IT ?



   

                   

GET DOWN.

OH, LOOK, NO ONE'S IN, MATE.

[ Barking Continues ]



   

                   

COME ON.



   

                   

???? [ Rock Playing In Home ]



   

                   

HELLO.

HELLO.



   

                   

DO COME IN.



   

                   

THANK YOU.



   

                   

HI.

[ Man ]

HELLO.



   

                   

PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

[ Closes Door ]



   

                   

THANKS.



   

                   

WE'RE JEHOVAH WITNESSES

ACTUALLY.



   

                   

THROUGH THIS HOLY ANOINTING,

MAY THE LORD IN HIS LOVE--



   

                   

THROUGH THIS HOLY ANOINTING, MAY

THE LORD IN HIS LOVE--  SORRY.

 [ Doctor ]  PUT HIM IN HERE.



   

                   

THROUGH THIS HOLY ANOINTING, MAY

THE LORD IN HIS LOVE AND MERCY

HELP YOU WITH THE GRACE...



   

                   

OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.

AMEN.



   

                   

MAY THE LORD WHO FREES YOU FROM

SIN, SAVE YOU AND RAISE YOU UP.

RELATIVES STAY HERE, PLEASE.



   

                   

NURSE, YOU CAN--

THAT'S MY DAD.

I NEED TO GO IN WITH HIM.



   

                   

[ Nurse ]

LET'S ALL LEAVE HIM HERE.

IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.



   

                   

[ Cardiogram Beeping ]



   

                   

[ Beeping Stops, Cardiogram

  Humming Continuously ]



   

                   

SO, THE LORD'S MY SHEPHERD,

THEN ?



   

                   

YEAH.

AND SOMETHING

MORE PERSONAL ?



   

                   

DID HE HAVE

A FAVORITE SONG ?

YEAH.



   

                   

HE'S GETTIN' CREMATED.



   

                   

OH, YEAH.



   

                   

IT WAS

"GREAT BALLS OF FIRE."



   

                   

???? [ Traditional Organ ]

[ Man ]

TWO PINTS OF LAGER.



   

                   

?? BOM-BOM-BOM-BOM

  YOU SHAKE MY NERVES

  AND YOU RATTLE MY BRAIN ??



   

                   

?? BOM-BOM-BOM-BOM

  TOO MUCH LOVIN'

  DRIVES A MAN INSANE ??



   

                   

?? YOU BROKE MY WILL

  OH, BUT WHAT A THRILL ??

YOU'LL DO YOURSELF AN INJURY.



   

                   

[ Everybody ]

?? GOODNESS, GRACIOUS

  GREAT BALLS OF FIRE ??



   

                   

??

?? I LAUGHED AT LOVE 'CAUSE

   I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY ??



   

                   

- HEY, FR. GREG !

- OI.



   

                   

[ Chanting ]

FR. GREG !  FR. GREG !

FR. GREG !  FR. GREG !



   

                   

COME ON, FATHER, GIVE US A SONG.

FR. GREG !  FR. GREG !

 FR. GREG !



   

                   

[ Cheering ]



   

                   

[ Man ]

A SONG !  COME ON, FATHER,

GIVE US A SONG !



   

                   

[ Man #  ]

GIVE US A SONG, FATHER.

GIVE US A SONG.



   

                   

UH... COULD I SAY,

COULD ISAYSOMETHING INSTEAD ?



   

                   

[ Crowd Sighs ]

ABOUT TOMORROW.



   

                   

I DON'T WANT TO PUT

A DAMPER ON THINGS.



   

                   

I KNOW THAT PEOPLE LIKE

TO TAKE COMMUNION AT A FUNERAL,



   

                   

AND SOME OF YOU MIGHT

FEEL THAT YOU CAN'T.



   

                   

[ Moans ]

IN THE MORNING,

I'LL BE IN THE CONFESSIONAL

JUST BEFORE WE START,



   

                   

AND I PROMISE

IT WON'T GET HEAVY.



   

                   

OR EVEN NOW IN THE BACKYARD

IF YOU'D LIKE.

[ Crowd Moans ]  NO WAY.



   

                   

[ Man ]

NOT IN THE BACKYARD.

YES, WELL, I--



   

                   

- I HAVE PUT A DAMPER

  ON THINGS, HAVEN'T I ?

- NO, YOU, COME ON, FATHER.



   

                   

COME ON.  HEY, BOB.

BOB, GO ON AND GIVE US

A SONG THEN.



   

                   

[ Crowd Chanting ]

BOBBY !  BOBBY !  BOBBY !

BOBBY !  BOBBY !



   

                   

?? THE ROAD IS LONG ??



   

                   

[ Man ]

LOVELY.  GO ON, SON.



   

                   

?? WITH MANY

  WINDIN' TURN ??



   

                   

?? THAT LEADS US TO ??



   

                   

?? WHO KNOWS WHERE ?

?

?? WHERE ??



   

                   

[ Together Softly ]

?? WHO KNOWS WHERE ????



   

                   

[ People Laughing,

  Chattering ]



   

                   

[ Woman ]

HE WAS A BASTARD, FATHER.



   

                   

NEVER A DAY WENT BY

WITHOUT ME WISHIN' HIM DEAD.



   

                   

[ Sighs, Sniffles ]



   

                   

BUT NOW HE'S GONE,

YOU MISS HIM.

I MISS HIM.



   

                   

I MISS THE BASTARD.



   

                   

[ Exhales ]



   

                   

WILL YOU ABSOLVE ME,

FATHER ?



   

                   

THERE'S NOTHING

TO ABSOLVE.

OH, PLEASE, FATHER ?



   

                   

GOD THE FATHER OF MERCIES,

THROUGH THE DEATH AND

RESURRECTION OF HIS SON...



   

                   

HAS RECONCILED THE WORLD

TO HIMSELF AND SENT

THE HOLY SPIRIT AMONG US...



   

                   

FOR THE FORGIVENESS

OF SINS.

[ Siren Wailing ]



   

                   

[ Woman Singing Softly ]

?? FOR YOU STOLE

  TREVELYN'S CORN ??



   

                   

]

?? SO THE YOUNG MIGHT

  SEE THE MORN ??

???? [ People Humming Along



   

                   

?? NOW, A PRISON SHIP ??



   

                   

?? LIES WAITIN'

  IN THE BAY ??



   

                   

?? LOW LIE THE FIELDS

  OF ATHENRY ??



   

                   

?? WHERE ONCE WE WATCHED

  THE SMALL FREE BIRDS FLY ??



   

                   

GOOD NIGHT, FATHER.

?? OUR LOVE

  WAS ON THE WING ??



   

                   

?? WE HAD DREAMS

  AND SONGS TO SING ??



   

                   

?? IT'S SO LONELY ??



   

                   

?? 'ROUND THE FIELDS

  OF ATHENRY ??



   

                   

- ?? BY A LONELY PRISON WALL ??

- [ Crying ]



   

                   

?? I HEARD A YOUNG MAN

  CALLING ??



   

                   

?? NOTHIN' MATTERS, MARY

  WHEN YOU'RE FREE ??



   

                   

?? AGAINST THE FAMINE

  AND THE CROWN ??



   

                   

?? I REBELLED

  THEY RAN ME DOWN ??

MATTHEW ?



   

                   

?? NOW YOU MUST RAISE

  OUR CHILD ??

[ Man, Woman Giggling ]



   

                   

?? WITH DIGNITY ????



   

                   

[ Sighs ]



   

                   

???? [ Dance Rock ]



   

                   

PAPER, MATE ?



   

                   

[ Car Alarm Blaring ]

HERE YA ARE, LOVE.



   

                   

[ People Chattering ]



   

                   

?? JUDGE ME NOW ??



   

                   

?? WON'T YOU GO HOME ??



   

                   

?? JUDGE ME NOW ??



   

                   

A PINT OF BITTER,

PLEASE.



   

                   

[ People Laughing,

  Chattering Continues ]



   

                   

?? JUDGE ME NOW ??



   

                   

THANK YOU.



   

                   

?? JUDGE ME NOW ??



   

                   

?? JUDGE ME NOW ??



   

                   

?? SEE YOU NOW ??



   

                   

?? WATCHING YOU ????



   

                   

[ Moans, Sighs ]



   

                   

[ Sighs ]



   

                   

[ Exhales ]



   

                   

[ Moans ]



   

                   

[ Moaning ]

[ Kissing ]



   

                   

[ Breathing Heavy,

  Gasps ]

[ Alarm Ringing ]



   

                   

ARE YOU A CATHOLIC ?



   

                   

TAKES ONE

TO KNOW ONE.



   

                   

BYE.



   

                   

[ Door Opens,

  Closes ]



   

                   

[ Alarm Ringing ]



   

                   

[ Men Chattering ]



   

                   

[ Snaps Button ]



   

                   

[ Knocking ]



   

                   

[ Snaps Button ]

COME IN.



   

                   

YOU, UH, YOU SWITCHED

THE LIGHT OFF IN THE HALL.



   

                   

YEAH.



   

                   

YEAH, WELL, UH...

I ALWAYS KEEP IT ON.



   

                   

"AT MY WINDOW A LITTLE LIGHT

 WILL KEEP BURNING.



   

                   

ALL MAY COME IN.

THE ARMS OF A FRIEND

ARE WAITING."



   

                   

[ Chuckles ]

TAMMY WYNETTE ?



   

                   

IT'S, UM...

JOHN THE   rd, ACTUALLY.



   

                   

DO YOU WANNA TALK ?



   

                   

I'M A BIT TIRED.



   

                   

OKAY.

GOOD NIGHT.



   

                   

GOOD NIGHT.



   

                   

[ Sighs ]



   

                   

[ Grunts ]



   

                   

[ Man ]  IT'S DOIN' ME HEAD IN,

THIS PREDESTINATION BUSINESS.

HONEST TO GOD, IT IS.



   

                   

AND JUDAS AND ALL THAT, YEAH.

I MEAN, HE REDEEMED US,

DIDN'T HE ?



   

                   

JUDAS, NOT CHRIST.



   

                   

ALL CHRIST HAD TO DO

WAS GO TO THE CROSS AND--

BANG, THAT'S IT.



   

                   

HE'S IN HEAVEN

AND WE ALL WORSHIP

THE GROUND HE WALKS ON.



   

                   

POOR OLD JUDAS,

HE'S GOT TO BETRAY HIM,

THEN HANG HIMSELF,



   

                   

THEN GO DOWN IN HISTORY

AS A RIGHT DIRTY BASTARD.



   

                   

NOW, THAT'S SACRIFICE,

YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN ?



   

                   

BUT GOD MADE HIM,

DO YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN ?



   

                   

JUDAS, SADDAM,

ADOLPH AND JOE,

HE MADE 'EM.



   

                   

NOW, THAT'S A BIT TIGHT

ON THE HUMAN RACE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ?



   

                   

BUT IT'S EVEN TIGHTER

ON THEM, ISN'T IT ?



   

                   

I MEAN, COULD YOU IMAGINE THEM

QUEUING UP TO BE BORN

AND GOD TURNIN' 'ROUND SAYING,



   

                   

"LISTEN, SADDAM, I'M SORRY

 TO HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS,

 BUT YOU'RE GONNA BE A TYRANT.



   

                   

YOU'RE GONNA GAS THE KURDS

AND DESTROY IRAQ."



   

                   

WELL, HE'D SAY, "NO, TA,

I'LL GO TO THE BACK OF THE QUEUE

IF IT'S ALL RIGHT ?"

HI.



   

                   

WELL, WOULDN'T YOU ?



   

                   

HEY !



   

                   

SOMETHIN' WRONG ?

[ Fr. Greg ]

UH, NO.



   

                   

NO ?  SURE ?



   

                   

[ People Chattering ]



   

                   

[ Man ]

SHH.  SHH.

[ Chattering Stops ]



   

                   

- GOOD MORNING.

- [ Together ]

  GOOD MORNING, FATHER.



   

                   

- AND HOW MANY DO YOU SMOKE ?

- ABOUT TEN.



   

                   

A DAY ?

YEAH.



   

                   

WELL, HOW DO YOU

PAY FOR THEM ?

I USE ME DINNER MONEY.



   

                   

- WHAT ?  SO YOU DON'T EAT ?

- I ROB LISA UNSWORTH'S BUTTIES.



   

                   

WELL,

THAT'S GOT TO STOP.



   

                   

IT WILL !

SHE BRINGS CHEESE AND ONION NOW

AND SHE KNOWS I CAN'T STAND 'EM.



   

                   

[ Giggles ]



   

                   

WELL, SUPPOSE SOMEONE

ROBBED YOUR CAR ?



   

                   

I HAVEN'T GOT ONE.

WELL,

SUPPOSE YOU HAD ?



   

                   

- I'D GET A WEED ON.  YEAH.

- EXACTLY.



   

                   

I'D GET A... "WEED ON" TOO.



   

                   

YOU HAVEN'T GOT A CAR.

WELL, FR. MATTHEW'S ?



   

                   

- THAT WON'T GET ROBBED,

  THOUGH, WILL IT ?

- BECAUSE HE'S A PRIEST ?



   

                   

BECAUSE IT'S CRAP.



   

                   

THROUGH THE MINISTRY

OF THE CHURCH, MAY GOD

GIVE YOU PARDON AND PEACE.



   

                   

AND I ABSOLVE YOU

FROM YOUR SINS.  IN THE NAME

OF THE FATHER, AND OF THE SON,



   

                   

AND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.

AMEN.



   

                   

THAT'S IT, LISA.



   

                   

THERE ARE OTHERS WAITING.



   

                   

HE MAKES ME DO THINGS.



   

                   

WHO ?

MY DAD.



   

                   

WHAT SORT OF THINGS ?



   

                   

ALL SORTS.



   

                   

SEX ?



   

                   

DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW ?



   

                   

YOU MUST TELL HER.



   

                   

TELL HIM

IT'S GOT TO STOP.



   

                   

TELL HIM YOU'VE SEEN ME

AND I SAID IT'S GOT TO STOP.



   

                   

PROMISE ?



   

                   

AND YOU'LL COME BACK

 AND SEE ME ?



   

                   

?? THAT TITLE SO WONDROUS

  FILLS ALL OUR DESIRE ??



   

                   

?? AVE, AVE ??



   

                   

?? AVE, MARIA ??



   

                   

?? AVE, AVE ??



   

                   

-?? AVE, MARIA ??

- AHHH.



   

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

[ Fr. Matthew ]

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

?? AVE, AVE ??



   

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

?? AVE, AVE ??



   

                   

?? AVE, MARIA ????

[ Girl ]

AMEN.



   

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.



   

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.



   

                   

?? I'M JUST AN ORDINARY DUCK ??



   

                   

?? YOU'LL SEE ME

  IN THE STREETS ??



   

                   

?? WANDERING 'ROUND LIVERPOOL ??



   

                   

?

?? WITH WELLIES ON ME FEET ?



   

                   

?? I LIVE JUST UP

  BY SCOTTY ROAD ??



   

                   

?? I THINK THAT YOU'LL AGREE ??



   

                   

?? THERE'S NOWT MUCH THERE

  TO LOOK AT... BUT ??



   

                   

?? IT'S HOME SWEET HOME

  TO ME ??



   

                   

FATHER ?

YEAH ?



   

                   

KEEP YOUR NOSE

OUT OF MY BUSINESS.



   

                   

?? I NEVER HAD MUCH LUCK ??



   

                   

?? I DON'T CARE

  I'M HAPPY ??



   

                   

?? I'M... GOOGY

  THE LIVERPOOL DUCK ??



   

                   

?? HALF OUR HOUSE

  SUPPORTS THE REDS ??



   

                   

?? THE OTHER HALF

   THE BLUES ??



   

                   

?? IT'S MURDER ON

  A SAT'DAY NIGHT ??



   

                   

?? IF EITHER OF THEM LOSE ??



   

                   

?? THE LIVER BIRD'S

  A MATE OF MINE ??



   

                   

?? HE WENT TO OUR OLD SCHOOL ??



   

                   

?? SO WHEN YOU SEE HIM

  THINK OF ME ??



   

                   

?? WHEN YOU'RE IN LIVERPOOL ??



   

                   

?? HIS NAME IS GOOGY

  GOOGY-- ????



   

                   

YOU SHOULDN'T

HAVE COME HERE.



   

                   

I CAME HERE

TO SEE YOU.



   

                   

ARE WE GOING TO

SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN ?



   

                   

[ Sighs ]



   

                   

[ Unfolding Paper ]

LOOK...



   

                   

PHONE ME.



   

                   

TAKE IT.



   

                   

[ Exhales ]



   

                   

[ Unfolding Paper ]



   

                   

[ Siren Wailing ]



   

                   

BLESS ME, FATHER,

FOR I HAVE SINNED.



   

                   

MAY THE LORD BE IN YOUR HEART

AND HELP YOU TO CONFESS

YOUR SINS WITHTRUESORROW.



   

                   

WHAT DID SHE SAY ?



   

                   

I CAN'T

TELL YOU THAT.



   

                   

SHE'S MY DAUGHTER.



   

                   

I CAN'T BREAK THE SEAL

OF THE CONFESSIONAL.

YOU KNOW THAT.



   

                   

A MAN ONCE PAID

      PIECES OF SILVER...



   

                   

FOR THE RIGHT

TO COMMIT INCEST.



   

                   

DO YOU KNOW

WHO SOLD HIM THAT RIGHT ?



   

                   

POPE ALEXANDER VI.



   

                   

INCEST IS EVIL.



   

                   

INCEST IS HUMAN.



   

                   

IT'S THE MOST NATURAL THING

IN THE WORLD.

THE MOST UNNATURAL.



   

                   

[ Chuckles ]

OF COURSE,



   

                   

YOU'RE THE EXPERT,

AREN'T YOU, FATHER ?



   

                   

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN

WITH A WOMAN,



   

                   

LET ALONE FATHERED A CHILD,

BUT YOU'RE THE BLOODY EXPERT.



   

                   

YOU ASK ANY MAN--

ANY PROPER MAN--

YOU ASK HIM,



   

                   

WHEN DOES HE STOP PATTIN'

HIS DAUGHTER'S BUM ?



   

                   

WHEN SHE'S    ?

 WHEN SHE'S    ?



   

                   

AND WHY DOES

HE STOP PATTIN' IT ?



   

                   

'CAUSE SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT ?

 'CAUSEHEDOESN'T LIKE IT ?



   

                   

OR... 'CAUSE

HE DOES LIKE IT,

BUT, UH...



   

                   

WHERE'S IT GONNA STOP, HUH ?

[ Chuckles ]



   

                   

I'VE DEDICATED MY LIFE

TO THE STUDY OF INCEST...



   

                   

AND THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE

CAN TELL ME ABOUT IT.



   

                   

LEAST OF ALL YOU.

I CAN TELL YOU IT'S A SIN.



   

                   

[ Chuckles ]

IT'S ONE OF

THE GRAVEST SINS OF ALL.



   

                   

CAN I HAVE YOUR PERMISSION

TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS ?



   

                   

THERE'S HELP AVAILABLE...



   

                   

AND THERAPY.

I DON'T NEED HELP.



   

                   

I DON'T NEED THERAPY.



   

                   

I'M NOT YOUR TEXTBOOK CASE.

 I'M NO SEXUAL INADEQUATE.



   

                   

I'VE JUST SEEN THROUGH

ALL THE BULLSHIT, THAT'S ALL.



   

                   

INHUMAN, IS IT ?

UNTHINKABLE ?



   

                   

SO WHY GO TO ALL THE TROUBLE

OF MAKING LAWS AGAINST IT ?



   

                   

WHY DOES EVERY SOCIETY

IN THE WORLD PUT A TABOO

AROUND IT ?



   

                   

I'LL TELL YOU WHY.



   

                   

IT'S THE ONE THING...

WE'D ALL LIKE TO DO.



   

                   

DEEP DOWN.



   

                   

IN HERE.

[ Patting Chest ]



   

                   

AND WHAT DOES LISA THINK ?



   

                   

[ Slams Curtain,

  Door Opens ]



   

                   

[ Departing Footsteps ]



   

                   

[ People Chattering,

  Laughing ]



   

                   

]

???? [ "Anyone Who Had A Heart"



   

                   

[ Chattering Continues ]



   

                   

ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

QUIET FOR A MINUTE.



   

                   

LISTEN, PLEASE.

 LISTEN.



   

                   

CAN ANYBODY TELL ME WHAT

THIS SONG IS REALLY ABOUT ?



   

                   

SHAGGIN', FATHER.

[ Class Laughs ]



   

                   

[ Fr. Greg ]

WRONG, NO.  CAN ANYBODY GIVE ME

A MORE SENSIBLE ANSWER TO THIS ?



   

                   

IT'S ABOUT...

RELATIONSHIPS.



   

                   

[ Class Sighs Mockingly ]

YES, RIGHT, ABSOLUTELY.

IT IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS.



   

                   

WHAT IS THE MOST ESSENTIAL

PART OF A RELATIONSHIP ?



   

                   

- LOVE, FATHER.

- ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.  LOVE.



   

                   

PASSIONATE COMMITMENT FROM

ONE HUMAN BEING TO ANOTHER.

???? [ Continues ]



   

                   

?? YOU COULDN'T REALLY

  HAVE A HEART IN THERE ??



   

                   

?? LIKE YOU HURT ME

  AND THESE SOLEMN TRUTHS ????



   

                   

[ Knocking Desks ]



   

                   

GET MISS SHAUGHNESSY.



   

                   

IT'S ALL RIGHT, LISA.

IT'S OKAY.  IT'S OKAY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.



   

                   

GET MISS SHAUGHNESSY NOW !



   

                   

OKAY.  OKAY, LISA.

SHH.  SHH.



   

                   

[ Fr. Greg ]

LISA, CAN I HAVE YOUR PERMISSION

TO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER...



   

                   

ABOUT WHAT YOU TOLD ME ?

NO.



   

                   

IS THERE ANYONE ELSE

YOU'D LIKE ME TO TALK TO ?

NO.



   

                   

YOU MUST COME

AND SEE ME AGAIN.



   

                   

DO YOU PROMISE ?



   

                   

-[ Taxi Driver ]

  HERE WE ARE, CHIEF.

- YOU PROMISED LAST TIME.



   

                   

LOOK AT ME.

 LOOK AT ME !



   

                   

PROMISE.



   

                   

COME ON, CHICKEN.  THANKS

VERY MUCH, FR. GREG.  WILL YOU

COME IN FOR A CUP OF TEA ?



   

                   

YES, THANKS.



   

                   

[ Mrs. Unsworth ]

THERE YA GO, FATHER.

[ Fr. Greg ]  THANK YOU.



   

                   

LISE.

TA.



   

                   

IT COULD BE AN ADOLESCENT

THING ?  APPARENTLY IT HAPPENS

TO KIDS OF HER AGE.



   

                   

-[ Mr. Unsworth ]

 EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT ?

-[ Blocks Falling ]



   

                   

LISA !



   

                   

HELLO, FATHER.

HELLO.



   

                   

[ Mrs. Unsworth ]

FR. GREG BROUGHT HER HOME.



   

                   

DO YOU WANT

A CUP OF TEA, LOVE ?

YEAH.  THANKS, LOVE.



   

                   

HEY.

YOU OKAY ?



   

                   

YEAH.



   

                   

SO... WHAT BROUGHT IT ON ?



   

                   

I DON'T KNOW.



   

                   

[ Mr. Unsworth ]

AND WHERE WERE YOU ?



   

                   

[ Lisa ]

IN CLASS.

CLASS ?



   

                   

YOU ALL RIGHT NOW ?



   

                   

THAT'S A GIRL.



   

                   

[ Mrs. Unsworth ]

THERE YA GO, PHIL.

THANKS, LOVE.



   

                   

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T

LEAVE HER ON HER OWN.

OH, WE DON'T.



   

                   

IF I'M NOT WITH HER,

PHIL IS.



   

                   

FR. GREG, DID YOU GET

A NEW CARTRIDGE ?



   

                   

SORRY ?

FOR THE PHOTOCOPIER ?



   

                   

I'VE GOT     HOUSING ACTION

SHEETS TO DO.

[ Laughs ]



   

                   

BYE.



   

                   

BYE, THEN.

THANKS AGAIN.



   

                   

[ TV Humming ]



   

                   

[ Switches Channels,

  Static On TV ]



   

                   

[ Switches Back,

  TV Humming ]



   

                   

YOU ALL RIGHT ?



   

                   

YES.



   

                   

[ TV Continues Humming ]



   

                   

[ Humming ]



   

                   

[ Humming Continues ]



   

                   

I CAN'T GO INTO DETAILS.



   

                   

IF I INTERVENE,

I COULD STOP

SOMEONE'S SUFFERING,



   

                   

BUT THAT MEANS--



   

                   

BREAKING THE SEAL

OF THE CONFESSIONAL, YEAH.



   

                   

I KNOW WHAT

YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.



   

                   

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ?



   

                   

I'D DROP A HINT.



   

                   

[ Children Chattering ]



   

                   

UM, LISA UNSWORTH

DOESN'T LOOK TOO GOOD.



   

                   

IT'S THESE FITS,

THEY GET HER DOWN.



   

                   

DO YOU THINK

IT'S THAT ?



   

                   

OR DO YOU THINK

IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING ELSE ?

[ Bell Ringing ]



   

                   

FROM THE PARISH TEAM

LISTED BELOW.

[ Ringing ]



   

                   

HELLO.  ST. MARY'S.

FR. GREG SPEAKING.



   

                   

IT'S SISTER KEVIN HERE.

THAT YOUNG GIRL YOU MENTIONED,



   

                   

THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE.

OH ?

[ Sighs ]



   

                   

THERE'S A BIG LUMP

OF A BULLY STANDING

IN FRONT OF ME,



   

                   

AND SHE'S BEEN STEALING

LISA'S PACKED LUNCH.



   

                   

RIGHT.  WELL--



   

                   

THANK YOU

FOR LETTING ME KNOW.

THANK YOU.



   

                   

GOOD-BYE.



   

                   

RIGHT, FR. GREG,

I'LL GET THIS OVER TO BRIAN.

OKAY.



   

                   

[ Touchtone Dialing ]



   

                   

[ Woman ]

HELLO.  SOCIAL SERVICES.

SOCIAL SERVICES.



   

                   

I NEED TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE

ABOUT A CHILD AT RISK.

HOLD ON, PLEASE.



   

                   

[ Man ]

HELLO.  CAN I HELP YOU ?

CAN I HELP YOU ?



   

                   

NO.

[ Hangs Receiver Up ]



   

                   

YEAH, TA-TA, PHIL.

TA-TA, CHRIS.

SEE YA.



   

                   

YEAH ?

IT'S GOT TO STOP.



   

                   

[ Scoffs ]

LOOK, SHE'S TAKING FITS

BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'.



   

                   

PISS OFF !



   

                   

ALL RIGHT ?



   

                   

[ Rotary Dialing ]



   

                   

THEY USED TO ASK

A QUESTION WHEN WE

WERE IN SEMINARY.



   

                   

IT WAS A SORT OF

STANDARD QUESTION.

[ Sea Gulls Cawing ]



   

                   

A MAN TELLS YOU

IN CONFESSION THAT HE'S

POISONED THE ALTAR WINE.



   

                   

DO YOU STILL GO OUT

AND SAY MASS ?



   

                   

OH, THANKS.



   

                   

NO, I HAD NO PROBLEM

WITH THAT.



   

                   

I'D GO OUT AND SAY MASS,

DRINK THE WINE.



   

                   

THERE'S A BIT OF THE MARTYR

IN ALL OF US.



   

                   

BUT WHEN IT'S

NOT YOU SUFFERING,



   

                   

WHEN IT'S SOMEONE

ELSE SUFFERING,



   

                   

AND YOU KNOW

YOU COULD STOP IT

JUST BY SPEAKING OUT--



   

                   

GERONIMO !

GIVE US A CUP OF COFFEE.

GO AHEAD.



   

                   

BUGGER OFF !

THERE IT IS.



   

                   

JUST LEAVE MY FLASK.

LEAVE MY FLASK !

DON'T TOUCH THAT.

COME ON.



   

                   

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YA ?

JUST BEAT IT !



   

                   

COME ON,

GIVE US A SWIG.



   

                   

NOT VERY NICE, IS IT, EH ?

[ Sniffles ]



   

                   

NOT VERY CHRISTIAN !



   

                   

[ Yelling ]

[ Sea Gulls Cawing ]



   

                   

HE WASN'T HUMAN ENOUGH,

THE SON OF GOD.



   

                   

HE HAD CERTAINTY.



   

                   

HEAVEN, EVERLASTING LIFE,

HE KNEW IT ALL WITH

ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY.



   

                   

WELL, GIVE ME THAT,

AND, FINE, NO PROBLEM,

YOU CAN CRUCIFY ME AS WELL.



   

                   

ALL THE AGONIES OF THE WORLD,

NO BLOODY PROBLEM WHATSOEVER...



   

                   

BECAUSE I'D BE CERTAIN

THAT GOD EXISTS.



   

                   

BUT I'M NOT CERTAIN.



   

                   

ALL I'VE GOT IS FAITH.



   

                   

THEN SOMETHING EVIL

COMES ALONG,



   

                   

GRINNING,

SICKENING EVIL,



   

                   

AND FAITH JUST

RUNS AWAY IN TERROR.



   

                   

DO YOU WANT TO COME BACK

TO MY PLACE ?



   

                   

[ Sea Gulls Cawing ]



   

                   

[ Breathing Heavy ]



   

                   

????



   

                   

???? [ Congregation Singing ]



   

                   

[ Fr. Greg ]

THE DAY BEFORE HE SUFFERED,



   

                   

HE TOOK BREAD

IN HIS SACRED HANDS,



   

                   

AND LOOKING UP TO HEAVEN,

TO YOU, HIS ALMIGHTY FATHER,



   

                   

HE GAVE YOU

THANKS AND PRAISE.



   

                   

HE BROKE THE BREAD,

GAVE IT TO HIS DISCIPLES

AND SAID,



   

                   

"TAKE THIS...

 ALL OF YOU AND EAT IT.



   

                   

"THIS IS MY BODY...



   

                   

WHICH WILL BE GIVEN UP

FOR YOU."



   

                   

[ Altar Boy

  Rings Bells ]



   

                   

WHEN SUPPER WAS ENDED,

HE TOOK THE CUP.



   

                   

AGAIN, HE GAVE YOU

THANKS AND PRAISE.



   

                   

GAVE THE CUP

TO HIS DISCIPLES AND SAID,



   

                   

"TAKE THIS, ALL OF YOU,

 AND DRINK FROM IT.



   

                   

"THIS IS THE CUP

 OF MY BLOOD,



   

                   

"THE BLOOD OF THE NEW

 AND EVERLASTING COVENANT.



   

                   

"IT WILL SHED FOR YOU

 AND FOR ALL,



   

                   

?? JUDGE ME NOW ??

[ Echoing ]



   

                   

"SO THAT SINS

 MAY BE FORGIVEN.



   

                   

DO THIS...

IN MEMORY OF ME."



   

                   

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

[ Fr. Greg ]

BODY OF CHRIST.

[ Woman ]  AMEN.



   

                   

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

[ Deacon ]

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

[ Deacon ]

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

[ Deacon ]

BODY OF CHRIST.



   

                   

[ Deacon ]

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

[ Church Bells Tolling ]



   

                   

[ Deacon ]

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

[ Deacon ]

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

[ Laughs ]



   

                   

[ Fr. Greg ]

BODY OF CHRIST.

[ Man ]  AMEN.



   

                   

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

[ Together ]

BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



   

                   

[ Opens Drawer ]



   

                   

WHO WAS HE ?



   

                   

NO IDEA.



   

                   

AND YOU COULDN'T

GIVE HIM COMMUNION ?



   

                   

NO.



   

                   

I NEVER DENIED

ANYONE COMMUNION.



   

                   

THEY HAD MORE RIGHT

TO RECEIVE IT

THAN I HAD TO GIVE IT.



   

                   

HAVE YOU ALWAYS

BEEN CELIBATE ?



   

                   

BUT I'M NOT PROUD OF IT.



   

                   

IT'S A GIFT FROM GOD.



   

                   

HE GAVE ME

THE GIFT OF CELIBACY.



   

                   

HE GAVE YOU

CERTAINTY OF VOCATION.



   

                   

TWO TOTALLY

DIFFERENT GIFTS.



   

                   

I WANT BOTH.



   

                   

AH, NOW,

THAT'S BEING GREEDY.



   

                   

SITTING IN MY ROOM,

SWEATING.



   

                   

I TURN TO HIM FOR HELP.



   

                   

I SEE A NAKED MAN...



   

                   

UTTERLY DESIRABLE.



   

                   

I TURN TO HIM FOR HELP

AND HE JUST MAKES IT WORSE.



   

                   

UP THERE IN MY ROOM...



   

                   

THAT'S MY GETHSEMANE.



   

                   

I UNDERSTAND HUMANITY THEN;

EVERY SIN, EVERY COMPULSION.



   

                   

I UNDERSTAND IT ALL.



   

                   

SALIVA, RACING PULSE,

ADRENALINE;



   

                   

THE ECSTASY

BEFORE THE FALL.



   

                   

AND, MATTHEW--



   

                   

WHAT I SHOULD SAY IS, MATTHEW,

I CAN'T SMILE AND HUG...



   

                   

AND PREACH THE BEAUTY

OF CREATION,



   

                   

BECAUSE INSIDE HERE THERE'S JUST

SIN AND SICKNESS AND EVIL AND--



   

                   

WHOA.



   

                   

I WAS GOING TO GET OUT,

GREG,



   

                   

WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE.



   

                   

BUT IT WOULD'VE BROKEN

MY MOTHER'S HEART.



   

                   

SO I WAITED.



   

                   

BY THE TIME SHE DIED...



   

                   

IT WAS TOO LATE.



   

                   

THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE

I COULD DO.



   

                   

GET OUT NOW, GREG,



   

                   

WHILE YOU STILL HAVE

YOUR HEALTH AND STRENGTH.



   

                   

LOVE WHO YOU WANT,

WHEN YOU WANT.



   

                   

GET OUT.



   

                   

I CAN'T GET OUT.



   

                   

GOD WANTS ME

TO BE A PRIEST.



   

                   

I DON'T THINK IT,

 I DON'T JUST... BELIEVE IT.



   

                   

I KNOW IT.



   

                   

I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.



   

                   

[ Man ]  AND WHAT ABOUT

THEM NEW FLATS THEY BUILT, EH ?

YOU REMEMBER THEM, DON'T YOU ?



   

                   

[ Mrs. Unsworth ]

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

GONNA SAY, TOMMY.



   

                   

[ Tommy ]

THEY RENT THEM IN NO TIME AT

ALL.  IT'S HOUSES THEY WANT...



   

                   

WITH A FRONT

AND A BACK GARDEN.



   

                   

THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.  THOSE

FLATS ARE WHAT THEY WANTED.



   

                   

AND THEY RENT THEM

IN NO TIME AT ALL !



   

                   

[ Mrs. Unsworth ]

LOOK, WHAT I'M SAYING IS HOUSING

ISN'T THE ANSWER ON ITS OWN.



   

                   

THERE'S A WHOLE LOAD

OF OTHER STUFF.

I MEAN, JOBS FOR A START.



   

                   

HOW'S LISA ?



   

                   

UM--  UH, WELL, SHE'S FINE.

UH, SHE'S WITH HER DAD.



   

                   

[ Tommy ]

JUST A MINUTE, LET'S GET ONE

THING QUITE STRAIGHT, EHH--



   

                   

BEFORE YOU PUT 'EM IN DECENT

HOUSES YOU GOTTA GET 'EM A

DECENT EDUCATION, DECENT JOBS...



   

                   

AND DECENT GOD KNOWS WHAT !

THAT IS NOT WHAT

I'M SAYING, TOMMY.



   

                   

[ Voices Become Distant ]

WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO

WITH US THEN ?



   

                   

MAROON US ALL ON A DESERT ISLAND

UNTIL YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING

JUST THERE ?



   

                   

YOU CAN'T JUST PUT 'EM

IN A HOUSE WITH HOT AND COLD

WATER AND SAY, "THERE YOU GO.



   

                   

THAT'S MY BIT."  I'M TALKING

ABOUT VALUES.  I'M TALKING

ABOUT CHANGING ATTITUDES.



   

                   

[ Tommy ]

GOD, GIVE ME PATIENCE !

CHANGING ATTITUDES TAKES...



   

                   

[ Thumping ]

A BIT OF MONEY

AND IT TAKES EDUCATION.



   

                   

[ Thumping Continues ]

[ Mrs. Unsworth,

  Tommy Arguing ]



   

                   

[ Thumping Stops ]

I'M SORRY,

I CAN'T GO ON WITH THIS.



   

                   

[ Tommy ]

THERE YOU ARE.  IT MUST'VE

BEEN SOMETHING YOU SAID.



   

                   

DO SOMETHING !



   

                   

DON'T JUST HANG THERE, YOU SMUG,

IDLE BASTARD !  DO SOMETHING !



   

                   

FEMINISTS AND LIBERALS,

THAT'S ALL YOU NEED,

ISN'T IT ?



   

                   

[ Group Chattering ]



   

                   

OOH !  EARLY FINISH,

EH, PHILLY ?



   

                   

[ Slams Fist ]

I'M GONNA TELL SOMEONE.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'D DO.



   

                   

SHE'S A   -YEAR-OLD GIRL.

YOU WOULDN'T SEE HER SUFFER.



   

                   

YOU'D SAY, YOU'D SAY,

"THIS GIRL IS ME.



   

                   

THIS GIRL IS

ALL-SUFFERING HUMANITY.

FOR THIS I CAME."



   

                   

YOU WOULDN'T GIVE A DAMN

ABOUT THE CHURCH AND ITS RULES

AND ITS REGULATIONS.



   

                   

THE SECRECY OF CONFESSION--

HOW CAN THAT BE GOOD...



   

                   

WHEN IT ALLOWS EVIL

TO THRIVE ?



   

                   

YOU'D SPEAK OUT !



   

                   

YOU'D SPEAK OUT.

I KNOW YOU'D SPEAK OUT.



   

                   

[ Man Talking On Radio ]

[ Fr. Greg ]

OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN,



   

                   

[ Door Shuts ]

HALLOWED BE THY NAME.



   

                   

THY KINGDOM COME,

THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH

AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.



   

                   

GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD

AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES...



   

                   

AS WE FORGIVE THOSE

WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US.

HIYA.



   

                   

AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION

BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL.  AMEN.

MMM.



   

                   

BUT YOU COULD SPEAK OUT.

YOU WERE THE SON OF GOD,

FOR GOD'S SAKE.



   

                   

YOU COULD MAKE THE RULES.

YOU WERE THE SON OF GOD.

I'M NOT !



   

                   

I'M JUST A PRIEST.

I'M A, I'M A, TUPPENCE,

HA'PENNY PRIEST...



   

                   

AND I CAN'T TAKE ON

     YEARS OF HISTORY !

[ Helicopter Blades Whirring ]



   

                   

THAT WOULD BE PRIDE.

 THAT WOULD BE ARROGANCE.



   

                   

THEY'D, THEY'D CRUCIFY ME.



   

                   

OUR FATHER

WHO ART IN HEAVEN,



   

                   

[ Alarm Sounding ]

HALLOWED BE THY NAME.



   

                   

THY KINGDOM COME,

THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH

AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.



   

                   

GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD

AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES...



   

                   

AS WE FORGIVE THOSE

WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US.



   

                   

AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION

BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL.  AMEN.



   

                   

I LOOK AROUND FOR AN EXAMPLE.

I'M IN THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIR.



   

                   

I LOOK AROUND FOR AN EXAMPLE,

AND ALL THERE IS IS YOU.



   

                   

BUT YOU PERFORM MIRACLES.

YOU CHANGE WATER INTO WINE.



   

                   

YOU RAISE THE DEAD.

 YOU, YOU CURED THE SICK.



   

                   

WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE IS THAT ?

HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY

KNOW DESPAIR ?



   

                   

"OH, WELL, I'M FEELING A BIT LOW

 TODAY.  I THINK I'LL, I'LL

 RAISE SOMEBODY FROM THE DEAD."



   

                   

HOW COULD YOU, WITH THAT

KIND OF POWER, KNOW WHAT

I'M GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW ?



   

                   

[ Alarm Continues ]

LISA !



   

                   

[ Alarm Stops ]



   

                   

[ Lisa, Faintly ]

DON'T--  [ Muttering ]



   

                   

[ Whimpering ]

NO, NO.



   

                   

NO, NO, NO.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' ?



   

                   

WHAT'RE YOU DOIN', PHIL ?

 WHAT'RE YOU DOIN' ?



   

                   

WHAT'RE YOU DOIN' ?

WHAT'RE YOU DOIN' ?

WHAT'RE YOU DOIN' ?



   

                   

YOU ANIMAL, YOU ANIMAL,

 YOU ANIMAL, YOU ANIMAL !

[ Phil Grunting ]



   

                   

GET DOWN THEM STAIRS NOW !

GET DOWN !

GET DOWN THEM STAIRS NOW !



   

                   

MAGGIE !

[ Screaming ]

YOU ANIMAL !  YOU ANIMAL !



   

                   

LISTEN TO ME, MAGGIE !



   

                   

IT'S PHIL !  LISTEN !

[ Thumping Door ]

OH, GOD !  OH, GOD !



   

                   

MAGGIE !  IT'S ME !

OH, GOD !  YOU'RE AN ANIMAL !

YOU'RE AN ANIMAL !



   

                   

[ Helicopter Continues ]

OUR FATHER

WHO ART IN HEAVEN,



   

                   

MAGGIE !

HALLOWED BE THY NAME.



   

                   

LISTEN TO ME !

THY KINGDOM COME,

 THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH...



   

                   

CALM DOWN !

AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.



   

                   

[ Arguing ]

GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD

AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES...



   

                   

AS WE FORGIVE THOSE

WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US.



   

                   

AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION

BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL.  AMEN.



   

                   

GET OUT !

YEAH, RIGHT !



   

                   

GET OUT !

 GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE !



   

                   

[ Sobbing ]

GET OUT, GET OUT,

GET OUT, GET OUT.



   

                   

[ Gasping ]

LISA, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.



   

                   

SORRY.



   

                   

I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY,

 I'M SORRY, SORRY.



   

                   

CAREFUL.



   

                   

AND THIS IS THE EIGHTH:



   

                   

"JESUS MEETS

 THE SORROWING WOMEN."

[ Coughs ]



   

                   

YOU CAN SEE

THE WOMEN CRYING BECAUSE...



   

                   

JESUS IS IN SUCH

A PITIFUL STATE.



   

                   

[ Sneezes, Coughs ]

JESUS DOESN'T WANT

THEIR TEARS.



   

                   

HE'S SAYING TO THEM,

"WEEP NOT FOR ME,



   

                   

BUT FOR THY CHILDREN."



   

                   

THE PRAYER

WE USUALLY SAY HERE GOES,



   

                   

"MY JESUS,

 LADEN WITH SORROWS,

[ Footsteps ]



   

                   

I WEEP FOR THE OFFENSES

 I HAVE COMMITTED."



   

                   

YOU KNEW.



   

                   

YOU KNEW.



   

                   

WHAT KINDA MAN ARE YA ?



   

                   

THE NINTH IS, UH...



   

                   

"OUR LORD FALLS

 FOR THE THIRD TIME."



   

                   

I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL.



   

                   

[ Scuffling Footsteps ]



   

                   

[ Door Opening, Slamming ]



   

                   

[ Both Chuckling ]



   

                   

[ Chattering ]



   

                   

THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

[ Laughing ]



   

                   

HI.



   

                   

WELL, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ?

YOU TREATED ME

LIKE A BLOODY LEPER !



   

                   

AND FOR GOD'S SAKE,

GROW UP, GREG !



   

                   

[ Mouthing Words ]



   

                   

[ Gulls Cawing ]



   

                   

I LOVE YOU.



   

                   

[ Barking ]



   

                   

[ Faint Police Radio

  Transmission ]



   

                   

[ Fly Unzipping ]



   

                   

[ Rapping ]



   

                   

SHIT !

OH, GOD !



   

                   

DATES OF BIRTH ?



   

                   

TWENTIETH OF SEPTEMBER,

    .



   

                   

OCCUPATION ?



   

                   

WHAT'S YOUR JOB ?



   

                   

PRIEST.



   

                   

CATHOLIC ?



   

                   

YEAH.



   

                   

YOU LITTLE DEVIL !



   

                   

?? WHEN YOU WALK

  THROUGH A STORM ??



   

                   

?? HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH ??



   

                   

?? AND DON'T BE AFRAID ??



   

                   

?? OF THE DARK ??



   

                   

GUILTY.



   

                   

HOW LONG HAVE YOU

BEEN A PRIEST ?

???? [ Continues ]



   

                   

[ Shutter Clicking ]

HOW LONG HAVE YOU

BEEN A PRIEST ?



   

                   

IT'S IN YOUR INTEREST

TO TALK TO ME;



   

                   

PUT YOUR SIDE

OF THE STORY.



   

                   

?? OF A LARK ??



   

                   

?? WALK ON THROUGH THE WIND ??



   

                   

?? WALK ON THROUGH THE RAIN ??



   

                   

?? THOUGH YOUR DREAMS

  BE TOSSED AND BLOWN ??



   

                   

?? WALK ON

   WALK ON ??



   

                   

?? WITH HOPE IN YOUR HEART ??



   

                   

?

?? AND YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE ?



   

                   

?? YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE ??



   

                   

?? WALK ON THROUGH THE WIND ??



   

                   

?? WALK ON THROUGH THE RAIN ??



   

                   

?? THOUGH YOUR DREAMS

  BE TOSSED ??

GREG ?



   

                   

?? AND BLOWN ??

SHIT !



   

                   

?? WALK ON

   WALK ON ??



   

                   

[ Knocking ]



   

                   

?? WITH HOPE IN YOUR HEART ??

GREG.

[ Knocking ]  GREG ?



   

                   

?? AND YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE ?

???

[ Grunting, Screaming ]



   

                   

AAAH !

WHAT'VE YOU DONE !



   

                   

GOD !

DON'T TOUCH ME !

IT'S ALL RIGHT.



   

                   

HANG ON.

[ Screaming Continues ]



   

                   

[ Bones Crunching ]



   

                   

[ Groaning ]



   

                   

OH, GOD !  OH, GOD !



   

                   

[ Moaning ]



   

                   

OH !

IT HAD SLIPPED OUT.



   

                   

JESUS.  JESUS.



   

                   

OH.



   

                   

[ Grunts, Sighs ]



   

                   

[ Panting ]



   

                   

THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.



   

                   

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ?



   

                   

I TRIED.  I COULDN'T.



   

                   

[ Sighs ]

WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO ?



   

                   

WE'LL SAY MASS TOGETHER.



   

                   

WE'LL QUOTE JOHN, CHAPTER EIGHT:

"LET HIM WHO IS WITHOUT SIN

 CAST THE FIRST STONE."



   

                   

I CAN'T DO THAT.

OH, YOU'VE GOTTA DO IT.



   

                   

NO, YOU SEE, I CAN'T.

I'VE JUST TAKEN    PARACETAMOL.



   

                   

[ Sighs ]

[ Ambulance Siren Blaring ]



   

                   

[ Gagging, Gasping ]

[ Doctor ]

ALL DONE.



   

                   

[ Liquid Pouring ]



   

                   

[ Footsteps ]



   

                   

[ Man ]

YES ?

GOOD NEWS.  HE'LL LIVE.



   

                   

THAT'S GOOD NEWS ?

[ Clicking Off ]



   

                   

[ Bishop ]

COMPASSION,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.



   

                   

YOU SIN, YOU GO TO A PRIEST,

 YOU EXPECT COMPASSION.



   

                   

IF YOU EXPECT IT FROM HIM,

SHOULDN'T HE EXPECT IT

FROM YOU ?



   

                   

COMPASSION,

FORGIVENESS, UNDERSTANDING.



   

                   

[ Reporters Chattering ]

HAS THE POPE SAID

ANYTHING ABOUT THIS ?



   

                   

[ Nurse ]

HE'S GOT THE RIGHT

TO SOME PRIVACY !



   

                   

WHAT'S MATTHEW

BEEN SAYING ?



   

                   

WELL, HE'S BEEN

VERY SUPPORTIVE.



   

                   

HE THINKS... BEING GAY

HAS MADE ME A GOOD PRIEST;



   

                   

HUMAN, COMPASSIONATE.



   

                   

HE THINKS THAT ALL THAT'S

HAPPENED RECENTLY HAS

MADE ME A BETTER ONE;



   

                   

MORE HUMAN...

 MORE COMPASSIONATE.



   

                   

GO OUT AND COMMIT MASS MURDER,

HE'D WANT YOU CANONIZED.



   

                   

WHEN YOU SAY YOU WANT

TO CARRY ON SERVING GOD--



   

                   

WELL, THAT'S GOOD.



   

                   

THE BEST WAY

FOR YOU TO SERVE GOD

IS TO DISAPPEAR.



   

                   

THE BEST WAY FOR YOU

TO SERVE GOD IS TO PISS OFF OUT

OF MY DIOCESE.  IS THAT CLEAR ?



   

                   

[ Electronic Beeping ]

YES.



   

                   

GOOD.



   

                   

[ Sighs ]

HERE, I BROUGHT YOU

SOME GRAPES.



   

                   

THANK YOU.



   

                   

BETTY AND GEORGE HUNT

ASK OUR PRAYERS

FOR BETTY'S SISTER...



   

                   

WHO'S RECOVERING

FROM AN OPERATION.



   

                   

[ Coughing ]

JEAN PARKINSON GAVE BIRTH

TWO DAYS AGO, BUT THE BABY'S...



   

                   

NOT ALL THAT WELL,

AND SO WE REMEMBER JEAN AND HER

BABY DAUGHTER IN OUR PRAYERS.



   

                   

CHARLES AND RUTH

ASK FOR OUR PRAYERS

FOR THEIR SON, JOHN,



   

                   

WHO'S IN HOSPITAL

AFTER A ROAD ACCIDENT.



   

                   

AND OF COURSE, KATY BULL ASKS

FOR OUR CONTINUING PRAYERS

FOR HER HUSBAND, KEVIN.



   

                   

FOR THESE PEOPLE

AND ALL OF OUR ILL

AND SUFFERING,



   

                   

WE ASK GOD'S HELP

AS WE REMEMBER THEM

IN OUR PRAYERS.



   

                   

LORD, HEAR US.

YOU'VE FORGOTTEN SOMEBODY.



   

                   

FATHER ?



   

                   

FR. GREG...

WHO'S RECOVERING IN HOSPITAL.



   

                   

YES.



   

                   

SORRY.



   

                   

LORD, HEAR US.



   

                   

LORD, GRACIOUSLY HEAR US.



   

                   

HI.



   

                   

GREG, YOU'VE GOT

A VISITOR.  RIGHT.

THANK YOU.



   

                   

[ Siren Blaring ]



   

                   

[ Footsteps In Hallway ]



   

                   

I'M SORRY.



   

                   

WHEN YOU GET BETTER,



   

                   

WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER

AGAIN, YEAH ?



   

                   

I DON'T THINK

IT'S A GOOD IDEA.



   

                   

I'M SORRY.



   

                   

GOD BLESS.



   

                   

YEAH, YOU TOO.



   

                   

[ Fr. Greg,

  Maria Muttering ]



   

                   

SO, WHAT NOW ?



   

                   

WELL, I'VE TOLD YA.

WE SAY MASS TOGETHER.



   

                   

LOOK, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT,

MATTHEW, BUT I CAN'T.



   

                   

YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT

THE BISHOP ?



   

                   

OH, BUGGER THE BISHOP.

[ Chuckling ]



   

                   

DON'T TAKE THAT LITERALLY !

[ Laughing ]

[ Maria Laughing ]



   

                   

SOMETHING WRONG, SEAN ?



   

                   

OH, NO, FATHER.

GOOD.



   

                   

SAYING MASS TOGETHER ?

YEAH.



   

                   

YOU WON'T NEED ME THEN ?



   

                   

YOU'RE NOT

ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL, NO.



   

                   

YOU'RE LEAVING ?



   

                   

THE BISHOP'S

TOLD ME TO.

IT'S OUR PARISH !



   

                   

I WON'T BE YOUR CAUSE, MATTHEW.

 I WON'T BE YOUR CRUSADE.



   

                   

IS THAT HOW YOU SEE IT ?



   

                   

CAN I SEE LISA,

PLEASE ?

NO.



   

                   

-LISA, I'M SO SORRY.

- I'M CLOSING THE DOOR NOW,

  FATHER.



   

                   

- PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

-I DON'T WANT TO CLOSE IT

 IN YOUR FACE.



   

                   

FORGIVE ME, LISA.

BUT I WILL IF I HAVE TO.

WILL YOU GO NOW, FATHER ?



   

                   

FORGIVE ME.

WILL YOU GO ?



   

                   

[ Sheep Bleating ]



   

                   

[ Ringing Bell ]



   

                   

HELLO.

YES ?



   

                   

FR. GREG PILKINGTON.



   

                   

PARDON ?

SIDE DOOR.



   

                   

SO, YOU'VE HURT YOUR NECK,

HAVE YOU ?



   

                   

NO, I'M A DEDICATED

FOLLOWER OF FASHION.



   

                   

THANK YOU.



   

                   

DINNER AT  :  .

DEAD PIG.



   

                   

[ Door Shuts ]



   

                   

[ Bleating Continues ]



   

                   

[ Sniffing ]

[ Fr. Matthew ]

DO YOU THINK GOD GIVES A DAMN ?



   

                   

WAR.  FAMINE.  DISASTER.



   

                   

MILLIONS SLAUGHTERING

EACH OTHER.



   

                   

WITH ALL THESE THINGS

ON HIS MIND, DO YOU REALLY

THINK GOD GIVES A DAMN...



   

                   

ABOUT WHAT MEN DO

WITH THEIR DICKS ?



   

                   

[ Sparse Chuckling ]



   

                   

DO YOU EVER DOUBT

IN THE EXISTENCE OF GOD ?



   

                   

I DO.  IT'S NOT WAR,

FAMINE AND DISA-- I MEAN, THE--



   

                   

THESE THINGS MAKE ME ANGRY,

YEAH, BUT THEY DON'T

MAKE ME DOUBT HIM.



   

                   

[ Departing Footsteps ]



   

                   

BUT WHEN I LOOK

AT THE CHURCH TODAY...

[ Door Shutting ]



   

                   

AND SEE CAREERISTS

 AND HYPOCRITES...



   

                   

AND...

PHARISEES THRIVING...



   

                   

[ Watch Alarm Beeping ]

IN POSITIONS OF POWER,



   

                   

THEN... I DOUBT

THE EXISTENCE OF GOD.



   

                   

HOW COULD HE

LET THIS HAPPEN ?



   

                   

THAT JUDGE--



   

                   

WHAT'S HE CALLED ?

DENNING.



   

                   

[ Man Coughing ]



   

                   

HE SAID,



   

                   

HE'D RATHER SEE INNOCENT MEN

ROT IN PRISON...



   

                   

THAN FOR

THE BRITISH LEGAL SYSTEM

TO BE RIDICULED.



   

                   

HE PUT POMP AND CEREMONY,

THE CAP AND GOWN,



   

                   

BEFORE THE PRINCIPLE ITSELF.



   

                   

THAT'S WHAT

WE'RE DOIN' NOW.



   

                   

CHURCHES, CATHEDRALS,

BISHOPS, POPES.



   

                   

ALL THE TRAPPINGS OF POWER.



   

                   

WE CARE MORE ABOUT THAT

THAN THE THING ITSELF.



   

                   

THE TEACHINGS OF CHRIST,



   

                   

LOVE AND COMPASSION...



   

                   

FOR ALL MANKIND.



   

                   

ALLMANKIND.



   

                   

MEN, WOMEN,

[ Door Shuts ]



   

                   

BLACK, WHITE,



   

                   

OLD, YOUNG,



   

                   

GAY, STRAIGHT.



   

                   

[ Computer Beeping ]

[ Men Conversing ]

ALL RIGHT, UP YOUR END A BIT.



   

                   

WATCH THE BACK, BILLY.

ALL RIGHT, GO BACK IF YOU WANT.

YEAH, YEAH.



   

                   

CAREFUL.

TAKE IT EASY.



   

                   

MY CAR !



   

                   

[ Fr. Matthew ]

THEY'VE TAKEN MY FRIGGIN' CAR !



   

                   

[ Bishop ]  IT'S JUST ONE OF

THE TRAPPINGS OF POWER THAT YOU

DESPISE SO MUCH, MATTHEW.



   

                   

ALONG WITH THE ROOF

OVER YOUR HEAD,

THE FOOD IN YOUR BELLY,



   

                   

AND THE CLOTHES ON YOUR BACK,

YOU BLOODY HYPOCRITE !



   

                   

HELLO.



   

                   

DOMINUS TECUM.



   

                   

UM,ET CUM SPIRITU TUO.



   

                   

TOTA DIE PLUIT.



   

                   

EH--  YES.  YES.



   

                   

SCIO TE PENITUS.



   

                   

TE ES PUSTULA

IN CORPORE CHRISTI.



   

                   

PUSTULA VIVENS

SPIRANS MONSTRUOSA.



   

                   

IAM IAMQUE

IN PUS ET CRUOREM...



   

                   

ET FOETOREM ERUPTURA.



   

                   

[ Chuckles ]

YOU'VE LOST ME, I'M AFRAID.



   

                   

I SAID,

 I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU.



   

                   

YOU'RE A BOIL

ON THE BODY OF CHRIST.



   

                   

A MONSTROUS,

LIVING, BREATHING BOIL,



   

                   

READY TO ERUPT AT ANY MOMENT

INTO PUS...



    

                   

AND BLOOD AND STENCH.



    

                   

I THINK I PREFERRED IT

IN LATIN.



    

                   

YOU'LL BE PAID A POUND

FOR EVERY MASS YOU SAY,



    

                   

AND YOU'RE NOT TO GO OUT

AFTER DARK.



    

                   

FINE.



    

                   

BENEDIC, DOMINUS...



    

                   

NOS ET HAEC TUA DONA.



    

                   

DO ANY OF YOU READ

THE NOTES AND QUERIES PAGE

INTHE GUARDIAN?



    

                   

LOOK, I KNOW YOU

DON'T WANT ME HERE.



    

                   

BUT IN A WAY,

HASN'T GOD SENT ME ?



    

                   

[ Doorbell Buzzing ]



    

                   

YOU'VE BROKEN THE VOW

OF CELIBACY, THAT'S ALL.

BOLLOCKS !



    

                   

SO YOU SHOULD DEMAND

TO BE TREATED THE SAME

AS ANY OTHER PRIEST.



    

                   

HETEROSEXUAL, HOMOSEXUAL,

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

UTTER BOLLOCKS !



    

                   

YOU'VE BROKEN

A MAN-MADE RULE,

THAT'S ALL.



    

                   

IT'S THERE FOR THE PROTECTION

OF PROPERTY TO KEEP IT AWAY

FROM THE WIDOWS OF PRIESTS.



    

                   

CHRIST WAS CELIBATE.

IT'S THERE FOR

THE MOBILITY OF LABOR.



    

                   

NO WIFE, NO KIDS,

SO YOU CAN KICK A PRIEST...

CHRIST WAS CELIBATE.



    

                   

FROM ONE END OF THE EARTH

TO THE OTHER.

CHRIST WAS CELIBATE !



    

                   

LOOK, MATTHEW,

THE CHURCH GIVES US EVERYTHING:

MONEY, FOOD, SHELTER, RESPECT.



    

                   

AND ALL SHE ASKS

IN RETURN IS CELIBACY.



    

                   

CHRIST GAVE HIS LIFE.



    

                   

ALL WE'RE ASKED FOR

IS CELIBACY AND WE CAN'T

EVEN MANAGE THAT.



    

                   

CHRIST DIDN'T ASK US TO BE

CELIBATE.  IT'S MANMADE.

SOLEMN VOWS !



    

                   

IT'S A MANMADE THING.

"DO YOU SOLEMNLY SWEAR ?"



    

                   

THAT'S OUR CURRENCY, MATTHEW:

SOLEMN VOWS.



    

                   

AND WE DEBASE THEM

BECAUSE WE CAN'T EVEN

STICK TO THEM OURSELVES.



    

                   

WHAT'S HIS NAME ?



    

                   

GRAHAM.



    

                   

[ Thunderclap ]



    

                   

DO YOU LOVE HIM ?

I DESPISE HIM.



    

                   

[ Fr. Greg ]

SATAN COMES IN MANY FORMS.



    

                   

[ Fr. Matthew ]

THIS IS THE MAN

WHO GAVE YOU HIS BODY.



    

                   

HOW DARE YOU TALK

LIKE THAT ?



    

                   

IN THE NAME OF GOD, GREG,

YOU GOTTA ASK YOURSELF--



    

                   

NOW, LOOK AT ME,

LOOK AT ME WHEN

I'M TALKIN' TO YA !



    

                   

TO CALL ANOTHER HUMAN BEING

SATAN, I MEAN--



    

                   

WHAT KIND OF RELIGION

IS THAT ?



    

                   

WHAT KIND OF SICK,

TWISTED BRAINWASH...



    

                   

HAVE YOU BEEN THROUGH ?



    

                   

HIS SOLE PURPOSE IN LIFE

IS TO TEMPT YOU INTO SIN,

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYIN' ?



    

                   

YOU'RE CHRIST

AND HE'S JUST

THE BLOODY SERPENT.



    

                   

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYIN',

YOU ARROGANT PRICK ?



    

                   

I THINK I LOVE HIM.



    

                   

YES.



    

                   

DO YOU WANT HIM ?



    

                   

YES.



    

                   

ALL THE TIME ?



    

                   

A LOT OF THE TIME.



    

                   

AND IS THAT SINFUL ?



    

                   

[ Exhales ]

SICK.



    

                   

SO... TO ITCH FOR A MAN

IS SICK;



    

                   

TO WANT TO SCRATCH THAT ITCH,

TO WANT TO MAKE LOVE

TO ANOTHER MAN, THAT'S SINFUL ?



    

                   

YES.



    

                   

AND TO WANT TO GO ON SCRATCHING,

TO LIVE WITH ANOTHER MAN--



    

                   

WELL, THAT'S PERMANENT SIN.

THAT'S EVIL.



    

                   

THAT'S "DEPART FROM ME,

YE CURSED" STUFF, RIGHT ?



    

                   

[ Chuckles ]

YES.



    

                   

[ Sighs ]



    

                   

IS THERE ANY SENSE...



    

                   

ANY INTELLECT, ANY...



    

                   

COMMON HUMANITY

IN THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT ?



    

                   

[ Chuckling ]

WHAT'RE YOU LAUGHIN' AT ?



    

                   

YOU LAUGHIN' AT ME ?

[ Panting ]

YES.



    

                   

DON'T PATRONIZE ME, GREG.



    

                   

I PATRONIZE YOU ?



    

                   

I LIVE IT, MATTHEW.



    

                   

YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST

WALK IN HERE AND SPOUT SOME

GLIBGUARDIANREADER CRAP,



    

                   

AND BANG,

ALL'S RIGHT WITH MY WORLD;

I'M RECONCILED TO MY NATURE.



    

                   

CUE THE UPLIFTING MUSIC.



    

                   

I--

WHO'S THE ARROGANT PRICK NOW ?



    

                   

[ Door Opening ]



    

                   

WHAT'S HE DOIN' NOW ?



    

                   

[ Slamming ]



    

                   

I WANT YOU

TO SAY MASS WITH ME.



    

                   

I CAN'T.

[ Door Opening ]



    

                   

I WANT THIS DOOR

LEFT OPEN.



    

                   

[ Sarcastically ]

I BEG YOUR PARDON !

MATTHEW...



    

                   

HE'S CHAPERONING US.



    

                   

[ Chuckling ]



    

                   

[ Chuckling Continues ]



    

                   

I DON'T BELIEVE IT !

JESUS !



    

                   

[ Snoring ]



    

                   

[ Fr. Greg, Fr. Matthew

  Moaning, Panting ]



    

                   

[ Both Groaning Loudly ]



    

                   

[ Fr. Matthew ]

GIVE IT TO ME, BIG BOY !



    

                   

HOW-HOW WAS IT FOR YOU ?



    

                   

[ Fr. Matthew ]

YOU OWE IT TO THEM.



    

                   

TO CONFRONT,

TO CHALLENGE,

TO TEACH.



    

                   

I CAN'T.



    

                   

COME OVER ON SUNDAY.

SAY MASS WITH ME.



    

                   

I CAN'T.



    

                   

BIG CHIEF SITTIN' BULL

WOULDN'T HIDE HIMSELF AWAY.



    

                   

HE'D HAVE RESERVATIONS.



    

                   

[ Chuckling ]



    

                   

I'LL SEE YOU.



    

                   

[ Exhales ]



    

                   

GOOD LUCK.

IF YOU DON'T HEAR

FROM ME IN THREE DAYS,



    

                   

SEND OUT A SEARCH PARTY.



    

                   

WELL ?



    

                   

ABI ET FUTUE TE IPSUM,

SORDIDE SENEX.



    

                   

YEAH.



    

                   

GO AND LOOK THAT ONE UP,

YOU OLD BASTARD.



    

                   

???? [ Organ, Choir ]



    

                   

???? [ Continues ]



    

                   

?? ALL WALK IN THE LIGHT ??



    

                   

?? WALK IN THE LIGHT ??



    

                   

?? WALK IN THE LIGHT ??

OKAY ?



    

                   

?? WALK IN THE LIGHT ??

YEAH.



    

                   

?? WALK IN THE LIGHT

  OF THE LORD ??



    

                   

???? [ Continues ]



    

                   

[ Man ]

THERE YA ARE.

THERE'S THE BUM BOY.



    

                   

[ Parishioners Muttering ]



    

                   

[ Parishioner ]

TSK-TSK-TSK !



    

                   

[ Woman Giggling ]



    

                   

[ Muttering, Giggling

  Continues ]



    

                   

[ Parishioner ]

SHH !

???? [ Singing Stops ]



    

                   

[ Whisperings ]

[ Woman Coughs ]



    

                   

[ Parishioners ]

SHH !  SHH, SHH, SHH.



    

                   

???? [ Organ Stops ]



    

                   

[ Fr. Matthew ]

SIT DOWN, PLEASE.



    

                   

WOULD YOU PLEASE

SIT DOWN ?



    

                   

AS YOU CAN SEE, FR. GREG'S

HERE WITH US TODAY--



    

                   

I'M SORRY, FATHER, BUT THIS...

[ Taps Pew ]  IS OUT OF ORDER.



    

                   

THIS IS DEFINITELY

OUT OF ORDER !

[ Missal Slamming ]



    

                   

[ Baby Crying ]

[ Fr. Matthew ]

WHY ?



    

                   

WHY ?  HAVE YOU JEREMY BEADLE

STASHED SOMEWHERE ?

HAVE YA ?  EH ?



    

                   

BECAUSE THIS A JOKE.

THIS IS A LAUGHINGSTOCK.

[ Man ]  YEAH.



    

                   

YOU, YOU ARE MAKING

A LAUGHINGSTOCK OF MY FAITH.

YOU KNOW THAT ?



    

                   

COME ON, CHARLEY.  HEY, EUAN,

COME ON.  WE'RE GOING OUT

OF HERE.  COME ON, GET MOVIN'.



    

                   

- WILL YOU TELL ME WHY ?

- OH, FOR GOD SAKE, FATHER !



    

                   

YOU SHOULDN'T

NEED TELLING, SHOULD YOU ?

COME ON, GET OUT OF HERE !



    

                   

HEY, I--

I AM SUPPOSED TO HAVE

RESPECT FORTHAT!



    

                   

HEY !  OH, YEAH !



    

                   

I AM SUPPOSED TO TAKE COMMUNION

FROMTHAT!



    

                   

OH, AYE !  HEY, YOU'RE DOOLALLY,

DO YOU KNOW THAT ?  COME ON !



    

                   

[ Tommy Shouting,

  Fading In Departure ]



    

                   

OKAY.



    

                   

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT...



    

                   

IF YOU CAN'T GIVE THIS MAN

COMPASSION...



    

                   

THEN GO.

[ Door Shutting ]



    

                   

I DON'T WANT YA

SITTIN' HERE !



    

                   

IF YOU'RE TOO ENGLISH...

TOO ANALLY RETENTIVE...



    

                   

TOO EMBARRASSED

TO MAKE A SCENE.

[ Parishioners Muttering ]



    

                   

IF YOU OBJECT

TO THIS MAN'S PRESENCE,

THEN GO.



    

                   

GO !  GO ON !  GO !



    

                   

IT'S IN THE BIBLE.



    

                   

THE BIBLE !

DO YOU READ THE BIBLE,

YOU, YOU PERVERT ?



    

                   

IT'S THERE

IN BLACK AND WHITE !



    

                   

"YOU SHALL NOT LIE

 WITH A MALE

 AS WITH A WOMAN.



    

                   

IT IS AN ABOMINATION !"



    

                   

"IN MY FATHER'S HOUSE

 THERE ARE MANY MANSIONS."



    

                   

WE'RE ALL SINNERS.

ALL OF US.

[ Woman ]  EXCUSE ME.



    

                   

THAT'S WHY CHRIST

WENT TO THE CROSS.



    

                   

"AND THE LORD RAINED UPON

 SODOM AND GOMORRAH

 BRIMSTONE AND FIRE !"



    

                   

"LET HIM WHO IS WITHOUT

 SIN AMONG YOU CAST

 THE FIRST STONE."



    

                   

"KEEP MY STATUTES

 AND MY LAWS...



    

                   

AND DO NONE OF THESE

ABOMINATIONS !"



    

                   

"JUDGE NOT...

 THAT YOU BE NOT JUDGED."



    

                   

GAAGH !



    

                   

"LORD, HOW OFTEN SHALL

 MY BROTHER SIN AGAINST ME...



    

                   

YOU KNOW WHAT THE HOLY FATHER

SAYS ABOUT IT.  YOU KNOW !

"AND I FORGIVE HIM ?



    

                   

"AS MANY AS SEVEN TIMES ?

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU LISTEN

TO THE POPE EITHER, DO YA ?



    

                   

"JESUS SAID TO HIM,

 'I DO NOT SAY SEVEN TIMES...



    

                   

BUT    TIMES SEVEN.'"



    

                   

"AND LOT'S WIFE LOOKED BACK

 AND WAS TURNED INTO

 A PILLAR OF SALT."



    

                   

WHO WAS THE FIRST TO SEE HIM

WHEN HE WAS RISEN ?



    

                   

MARY MAGDALENE,

A PROSTITUTE.



    

                   

JESUS WEPT !



    

                   

HOW DARE YOU TURN YOUR BACK

ON THIS MAN !



    

                   

HOW DARE YOU DO THIS...



    

                   

AND CALL YOURSELVES

CATHOLICS ?



    

                   

[ Mutterings ]



    

                   

WILL YOU SAY SOMETHING ?



    

                   

[ Parishioners Coughing ]



    

                   

I'M HERE TO ASK

YOUR FORGIVENESS.



    

                   

THE GRACE

OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST...



    

                   

THE LOVE OF GOD

AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF

THE HOLY SPIRIT BE WITH YOU ALL.



    

                   

[ Congregation ]

AND ALSO WITH YOU.



    

                   

???? [ Organ ]

[ Fr. Matthew ]  THIS IS MY BODY

WHICH WILL BE GIVEN UP FOR YOU.



    

                   

[ Ringing ]



    

                   

[ Priests In Unison ]

THROUGH HIM, WITH HIM IN HIM,

IN THE UNITY OF THE HOLY SPIRIT,



    

                   

ALL GLORY AND HONOR

IS YOURS, ALMIGHTY FATHER,

FOR EVER AND EVER.



    

                   

AMEN.



    

                   

PEACE BE WITH YOU.

PEACE BE WITH YOU.



    

                   

[ Fr. Matthew ]  THIS IS

THE LAMB OF GOD WHO TAKES AWAY

THE SINS OF THE WORLD.



    

                   

HAPPY ARE THOSE

WHO ARE CALLED TO HIS SUPPER.



    

                   

-[ Fr. Matthew ] 

 THE BODY OF CHRIST.

- [ Woman ]  AMEN.



    

                   

- THE BODY OF CHRIST.

- [ Woman ]  AMEN.



    

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

[ Man ]  AMEN.



    

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

[ Woman ]  AMEN.



    

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

[ Man ]  AMEN.



    

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

[ Woman ]  AMEN.



    

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

[ Man ]  AMEN.



    

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

[ Man ]  AMEN.



    

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

[ Woman ]  AMEN.



    

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.



    

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.



    

                   

THE BODY OF CHRIST.

AMEN.



    

                   

[ Gasping Sob ]



    

                   

[ Shuddering Gasps ]



    

                   

[ Sobbing ]



    

                   

???? [ Piano:

     "You'll Never Walk Alone" ]



    

                   

???? [ Piano Ends ]







 

  

  

 
Special help by SergeiK