Princess Protection Program Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Princess Protection Program script is here for all you fans of the Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez Disney movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Princess Protection Program quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Princess Protection Program Script

  

  
Yeah!

  
Do what you wanna do

  
Be what you wanna be

  
Freedom's no mystery

  
Say what you wanna say

  
Tomorrow is another day

  
But here's the news

  
Nobody's stopping you

  
Do what you wanna do

  
Yeah!

  
Yeah!

  
Hey, you just...

  
Hi, Donny.

  
Hey...

  
Carter.

  
Right. How much?

  
Oh, no, no, no. No charge.
A deal's a deal.

  
Free bait in exchange
for never having to take the bus again.

  
Great.

  
-Carter, talk to you for a second?
-Yeah.

  
So, did he ask you
to that homecoming dance thing yet?

  
Dad! Don't embarrass me.

  
I'm your dad, it's my job.
Come home right after school.

  
We got a lot of work to do around here.

  
Yeah.

  
What are you doing here?

  
Donny's driving us until I get
my new ride. Isn't that sweet?

  
That's sweet. There's no room for me.

  
Sure there is. Come on, climb in.

  
No, she's right. Brooke's already
wrinkling my after-lunch outfit.

  
No, I'm not!

  
Chelsea, this is high school, not Vegas.
You don't need a costume change.

  
Right.

  
But you might wanna think about it.

  
I'm sorry, Carter.
Hey, thanks for the bait.

  
-See you.
-Bye.

  
Do what you wanna do

  
Be what you wanna be

  
Freedom's no mystery

  
Say what you wanna say

  
Tomorrow is another day

  
I can't stand them.
They're such princesses.

  
You said that like it's a bad thing.

  
Carter, they're teenage girls.
They're probably just jealous.

  
Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're not.

  
It's Mason. Yes, sir.

  
No, sir.

  
Right away.

  
You're leaving again?

  
Two days, max. It's no big deal.
It's just a routine op.

  
Yeah, that's what you always say.

  
Just be careful. Okay?

  
Always.

  
You and me, pal.

  
You and me, Dad.

  
Her Royal Highness,
Rosalinda Marie Montoya Fiore.

  
Princesa de Costa Luna.

  
And you're walking, and walking as
your adoring subjects welcome you.

  
Dimitri, my coronation
is one month away.

  
-Why do we have to practice now?
-Ah!

  
The rehearsal is so that
everything will be perfect.

  
Princesa, what a beautiful
coronation dress you are wearing.

  
Who, may I ask, designed it?

  
You did, Mr. Elegante.

  
-So I did. I am brilliant, no?
-Yes.

  
Thank you for coming
to help Rosalinda.

  
Now that my husband
has passed away,

  
only she can become
queen of Costa Luna.

  
But it is so much
for someone so young.

  
And I'm afraid that General Kane
will take advantage of that.

  
No, I'll be here, Sophia.
I'll protect her like she's my own.

  
I know you will, Major Mason.
I know you will.

  
Sounds like your music.

  
Turn to face your subjects, Rosalinda.

  
Honored guests, family, friends,

  
I present to you Princesa
Rosalinda Marie Montoya Fiore,

  
heir to the throne of Costa Luna.

  
She is willing to be your queen.

  
If any person has a reason to object,
let them come forward and be heard!

  
I object.

  
The Princesa is too young to be queen.

  
Costa Luna and Costa Estrella
are two tiny countries

  
who must unite and stand together
against the world.

  
Therefore, for the good of both
our countries, l, General Magnus Kane,

  
declare myself El Presidente
de la República de las Costas.

  
Seize them!

  
-What?
-The time is now.

  
Go now with Major Mason. Go now!

  
Hurry, my queen,
we must go now.

  
Who are you?
Where are you taking me?

  
I'm here to protect you,
but you need to trust me.

  
But what about my mother?

  
She's going to meet us,
but we need to hurry.

  
-Are you all right, Mamá?
-Yes, yes, darling, yes.

  
I knew General Kane
would try something like this,

  
so I made a plan to protect you.

  
You must trust Major Mason.
You must do everything he says.

  
Do you promise me you will do that?

  
-Yes, Mamá, I promise.
-We need to move.

  
-Okay. Come on.
-Mamá, where are we going?

  
No, not "we," mija. You.

  
The General will say
you abandoned the country,

  
but I must stay, so the people know
that you will return when it's safe.

  
No! Not without you.

  
Here.

  
So, no matter what happens,
you never forget you are a princess.

  
Don't worry, mi reina bonita,
we will be together very soon.

  
We gotta go now. Let's go.

  
Hurry up! Inside!

  
Go!

  
You will never find her.

  
And as long as she remains free,
there will be hope in Costa Luna.

  
I could not agree more.

  
But the Princesa is only a girl, madam.
She will contact her mother.

  
And when she does,
I will bring her back to Costa Luna,

  
where she will rot with her mother
in a tiny dirt cell.

  
You will both become a tragic symbol
of futility to those who would defy me.

  
Take her away!

  
What is this place?

  
You'll see.

  
Door opening.

  
Door closing.

  
What... Where am l?
Is this some kind of prison?

  
Not prison, protection.

  
Princess Rosalinda
Marie Montoya Fiore,

  
you are now in the safe custody

  
of the International Princess
Protection Program, the PPP.

  
I've never heard of it.

  
Nobody ever hears about us
until we're needed. Good work, Major.

  
Thank you, Director.

  
Level three. Security.

  
You'll be safe now, Princess.

  
How long am I staying here?

  
Until you're ready for stage four.

  
Stage four? What is stage one?

  
Extraction.
That is what brought you here.

  
-Stage two?
- Transition.

  
-Transition to what?
-Stage three.

  
Come inside, why don't you?
And I will explain everything.

  
Welcome, Rosalinda,
to the operational heart

  
of the Princess Protection Program,

  
a top-secret agency funded
by the world's royal families.

  
We are actively providing protection
to 29 princesses,

  
all of whom have been threatened
in one way or another.

  
-Chloe, may l?
-Of course, Director.

  
This is Princess Chandra.

  
Last January, Major Mason rescued
her from a politically-motivated coup.

  
We have placed her
where no one will find her.

  
Let's just say she's a little farther north
than she's used to.

  
-She is freezing!
-Probably. But she's safe.

  
Let's take a walk, shall we?

  
Please.

  
Chloe, report.

  
"Princess 383 has had
a successful extraction.

  
"She arrives at 01:00 hours.

  
"Princess 299 is still rejecting
all attempts at transformation.

  
"And princess 107 is
in need of our services."

  
What about me?
Where are you sending me?

  
Nowhere yet. First you must go
through stage three, transformation.

  
First, we start with the hair
and then the wardrobe,

  
until you are unrecognizable
as princesses.

  
No! Stop!

  
I do not know any of you people.

  
I want to speak with Major Mason.
I only trust Major Mason.

  
Is everything all right?

  
Take me back to my country.

  
Princess, I'm sorry, but General Kane
has taken control of your country

  
and assumed command
of its government.

  
-But I must go back.
-And you will.

  
As soon as we find a legal way
to remove him.

  
In the meantime,
you have to let us protect you.

  
But what about my mother?
Who's protecting my mother?

  
You are. As long
as you're in Princess Protection,

  
your mom will be safe. Please.

  
General Kane is hoping
you'll contact her

  
so he'll know where to find you.

  
What if he does find me?

  
He'll make an example of you
by sending you to prison

  
or a work farm.

  
And Costa Luna will become
part of his own personal kingdom,

  
with its true royal family
nothing but a memory.

  
Bottom line, if you care about
your country, and your mom's safety,

  
nobody can know who you really are.

  
You may proceed.

  
Good work.

  
From now on,
you are no longer princess.

  
You are now Rosie González,
an average American girl.

  
What happens now?

  
-Stage four. Relocation.
-Where?

  
Somewhere where
General Kane will never think

  
of looking
for the Princess of Costa Luna.

  
Welcome to Louisiana, Rosie.

  
Over here.

  
Welcome to your new home.
For a while, at least.

  
Here, let me get the door.

  
Here you go, sweetie.

  
Thanks, Helen.

  
Hey, looks like
someone's back home again.

  
See you tomorrow!

  
Dad?

  
Dad?

  
-Hello.
-Hey.

  
-Who are you?
-Rosa... Rosie.

  
Are you sure?
'Cause you don't seem sure.

  
Rosie. I'm sure.

  
Okay. So, what are you doing here?

  
-Oh, Major Mason gave me this room.
-He did, huh?

  
-Yes, he's been very lovely.
-Lovely?

  
Of course, the suite is much smaller
than I'm used to,

  
but it will feel much larger
once I have that extra bed removed.

  
It's not extra, it's mine.
Will you excuse me for a second?

  
Yes. You are excused.

  
Hey, pal!

  
Don't "pal" me.

  
You... You met Rosie?

  
Yeah. Who is she
and why is she in my room?

  
Well, I had to bring her here.
The director didn't give me a choice.

  
Okay. Just, you know, a normal dad

  
would go to a foreign country
on a secret mission

  
and bring his daughter back
a T-shirt, not a person.

  
You should have warned me.

  
Carter, I didn't have a choice.
She doesn't trust anybody but me.

  
Yeah, I know the feeling.

  
Hey, what I do is complicated.

  
But if I thought for one second
it would hurt our family...

  
Dad, I get it.

  
-So, you're in?
-Do I have a choice?

  
Good, 'cause I'm gonna
need your help.

  
She needs to stay here
for a while, undetected.

  
And in order for that to happen,

  
she has to blend in
as a normal American teenager.

  
Yeah, no, that's not gonna
happen, Dad. She's a princess.

  
-Fine. Who do I say she is?
-Your cousin.

  
Carter, thank you.
Now, if we do our job right,

  
she'll be out of here
and back to her own country in no time.

  
-Okay, so by Tuesday?
-It'll be soon. I promise.

  
-Still you and me, pal?
-No.

  
-Come on. Come on. Come on.
-No. No. No.

  
-Is that right? You're gonna go...
-No!

  
-...in the water if you don't say yes.
-Put me down.

  
-Put me down.
-All right.

  
-You give me a headache.
-Be nice.

  
Mmm-hmm.

  
You have made
other sleeping arrangements?

  
Look, the room is not yours. It's ours.
We share it.

  
-Share?
-Share.

  
I know that's probably
a foreign concept for a princess,

  
but what it means is that you get
one side of the room

  
and I get the other.

  
So stay on your side.

  
I don't want that.

  
That's good.

  
So I thought princesses
had designer clothes and stuff.

  
Well, she had to leave all that behind.

  
But I was thinking you could, you know,
loan her some of your stuff.

  
Yeah, sure. Why not?

  
Thank you. Now, go try again.

  
-I will after this hand.
-No, now.

  
And don't look at my cards.

  
All right, the kitchen's closing.
Last chance to eat something.

  
No, thank you. I wish to sleep.

  
Okay.

  
You may help me prepare for bed.

  
-I "may"?
-Yes.

  
I need a nightgown.
Preferably silk, preferably pink.

  
Pink silk. Let me see what I've got.

  
Here.

  
Huh?

  
May I use your restroom?

  
Yeah, upstairs, first door on the right.

  
Okay, whatever.

  
What happened?

  
Come on!

  
Do they not have lizards
where you're from?

  
Maybe, but I never see them.
That is why we have Henry.

  
You have a royal reptile wrangler?

  
Yes. And you should get one, too.

  
Good night.

  
She's gonna be okay.

  
No. She's gonna be a royal pain.

  
-Good morning.
-Hey.

  
Hey.

  
-Juice?
-Yeah.

  
All right. There you go. Coffee done?

  
Good.

  
Don't be shy, Rosie.
Grab whatever looks good.

  
-Bus is here.
-Sure you don't want a ride?

  
Yeah, I'll be fine. You coming?

  
-Where are we going?
-School. You're 16. You go to school.

  
School. Of course.

  
Goodbye.

  
-Morning, honey.
-Hey, Helen.

  
-Whoa! Who's this, now?
-That's just my cousin.

  
-You don't say.
-Hello.

  
Well, aren't you a cutie?

  
I am Rosie.

  
And I am late. Go ahead
and grab a seat, quick as you can.

  
Call attempted.
Scrambling signal now.

  
PPP link established.

  
This is the director.
What is your situation report?

  
Princess 379 is in position.
Stage four is complete.

  
-She's safe, then?
-That's affirmative, absolutely safe.

  
The girl can't help it

  
The girl can't help it

  
The girl can't help it

  
Could this be the queen?

  
Obviously not, Ed.

  
Maybe this is the queen.

  
Well, technically, no. Not yet, anyway.

  
Nice. Honest. I like it.

  
I'm Ed, by the way. And you're...

  
-Rosie.
-Rosie.

  
I'm making a documentary.

  
Listen, "The rocky path
from humble peasant

  
"to homecoming queen."

  
The queen of homecoming?
What is this homecoming?

  
You don't...
You've never heard of homecoming?

  
No. We have no such thing
where I am from.

  
Really? Where's that?

  
Oh, um... That's from Iowa. She's...
What are you doing?

  
-I'm going to school.
-Bye, guys.

  
Yes, and you're supposed to act
like a normal American girl.

  
You're supposed to blend in.

  
-I'm trying.
-Well, try harder.

  
There she is, Princess Carter.

  
-Sit down.
-Bossy, bossy.

  
Sit.

  
I like bossy.

  
Excuse me, may I have this seat?

  
I'm sorry, I think it's school property.

  
Yeah, sure.

  
Thank you very much.

  
What? She's hot.

  
This must be our new student,
Carter Mason's cousin.

  
Where are you, my little princesa?

  
Ah!

  
Sophia. Thank you for joining me.
Any news from Rosalinda?

  
No. And there will never be.

  
Now, now, now, now.
We must not be so negative.

  
Perhaps... Perhaps we should think
happy thoughts. Shall I begin?

  
I am picturing
a dashing young general.

  
And he is... He's sitting on a throne.

  
Royal subjects shower him
with adoration.

  
And what do you know?
They have crowned him their king!

  
You will never be the king
of Costa Luna, not as long as I'm alive.

  
You are ruining my happy thoughts.
Take her away.

  
What you see is what you get
When you're looking at me

  
I'm gonna tell it like it is
Most definitely

  
I can tell by the way
you look me in the eyes

  
That you're not like the other guys

  
Hey, no cutting!

  
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey!

  
Back of the line.

  
-Pardon?
-That's the rules. No cuts.

  
Of course. Then I will not cuts.

  
Hey, Rosie, come on up with me.

  
Well? You gotta pick something.

  
Oh!

  
Mystery meat.

  
Then I will have one of those.
What is it?

  
A hamburger?

  
Next.

  
Am I missing
something here?

  
Got to say the signs are clear as mud

  
True confession.
Are you gonna eat that nasty food?

  
When I laugh I taste the tears

  
Sometimes I wish I'd just disappear

  
I'm so confused, misunderstood

  
I can't be free

  
Is it just me who feels this way?

  
Trying to be where I am
So out of place

  
Can't I just wait to see what's right?

  
'Cause it looks like
we're all just flying blind

  
Check her out.
Who does she think she is?

  
I know. She thinks
she's Carter's cousin.

  
Ow!

  
Oh, was that your leg? I'm sorry.

  
She may be a loser like her cousin,
but she's dangerous.

  
-Really? Why?
-Are you serious? Look at her.

  
I know. Totally love the hair.

  
Ow!

  
What are you doing?

  
Eating a hamburger.
Have you ever tried one?

  
Yes. And FYI,
they have hamburgers in Iowa.

  
Oh!

  
Right.

  
-You're supposed to be blending in.
-I am blending.

  
Speaking fluent French in class?

  
And eating hamburger
like you're having tea with the Queen?

  
-Well, how else should it be eaten?
-Like this.

  
The works.

  
There you go.

  
Mmm-hmm.

  
Stop.

  
Now.

  
-Like this?
-It's perfect.

  
Can I have your attention, please?
I have an announcement to make.

  
Can we sit down
and settle down, please?

  
On Monday,
we'll be taking nominations

  
for the homecoming court.

  
These nominees must be girls
of exemplary character.

  
Kind, intelligent,
honest, charitable members

  
of the Lake Monroe community.

  
Now, the three girls
with the most votes

  
will become
your homecoming princesses.

  
There's more, there's more.

  
On Friday night, at our annual dance,

  
one of these lucky girls
will be crowned

  
your homecoming queen
of Lake Monroe High.

  
Yeah!

  
Thank you.

  
You vote for royalty here?

  
We're a democracy. We're into voting.

  
So then, anyone can be a princess?
Even you?

  
Theoretically.

  
Excuse me, everyone.
May I have your attention?

  
-What are you doing? Sit down!
-No, no.

  
I would like to nominate my cousin,
Carter Mason, to be your queen.

  
I think that she would
make an excellent ruler.

  
Carter?

  
Yeah, right.

  
-Carter. Carter!
-Carter? That's hilarious.

  
Was that for real? Wow!

  
Oh, man.

  
Looks like I'm the queen.

  
Carter!

  
-Carter!
-Leave me alone.

  
I order you to stop.

  
You order me? You order me.

  
I order you to take a long walk
off a short pier.

  
You cannot order me to do anything.

  
Wanna bet?
You're in my kingdom now.

  
Okay, hey, hey, hey. Whoa, whoa.

  
Whoa, what's going on?

  
Dad, she can't do it.
She can't act normal.

  
-I am normal.
-Really? Okay.

  
So, a normal person who has
never seen a hamburger before

  
can order one in six languages?

  
Really? You did that?

  
I always speak to my staff
in their native tongue.

  
They're not your staff.
They're lunch ladies, okay?

  
Dad, can't you see
that this isn't gonna work?

  
Carter, it's gonna work, okay?
We just have to give it a little time.

  
It'll work.

  
It's gonna be a scorcher again today...

  
-Hey, Ernie.
-Hi, Carter.

  
-Hello.
-Oh, great.

  
Good morning, Carter.
What are you doing?

  
Chores.

  
-Chores? I do not understand.
-No, of course not.

  
Perhaps I could learn this "chores."
You could teach me.

  
You know, that's the best idea
you've had.

  
What must I do?

  
We'll start you off easy. Inventory.

  
-Inventory?
-Counting.

  
You count what's in here,
and put it in here. Have fun.

  
Oh! And when you're done,
there's a whole other shelf, too.

  
One.

  
-Everything okay?
-Yeah. Just peachy.

  
-You got the bow?
-Uh-huh.

  
Stay above that line.

  
-What line?
-Right there.

  
Okay.

  
Carter, what's Rosie doing
in the bait shop?

  
Chores.

  
Dad.

  
Rosie!

  
-Are you okay?
-I'm all right.

  
I think I need to bathe.

  
Carter, why don't you go on
in and clean this up, okay?

  
-Why me? She's the one who did it.
-Come on, pal. I'll help you.

  
-All right, it... It's not funny.
-Yes. Come on.

  
-You know it's a little funny.
-All right. Here. Go.

  
-You wanna laugh, too.
-No, I don't wanna laugh.

  
-Yes, you do.
-This is serious. Come on.

  
-What do you want for dinner tonight?
-Pizza.

  
Pizza? We had pizza last night.
How about... How about burgers?

  
How about this? Pizza and burgers.

  
-Pizza and burgers.
-Yeah. I wanna do both.

  
-One as an appetizer, or just together?
-I don't know.

  
I didn't know we still had all that stuff.

  
-What's all this?
-A proper dinner.

  
To thank you for helping me
clean up the mess

  
that I made in your shop of bugs.

  
-It's bait.
-I'm aware.

  
Okay.

  
-Here. Let me.
-No, no.

  
Thank you, but tonight, I serve you.

  
Well, I'm not gonna say no to that.

  
It is for you.

  
-For me?
-Mmm-hmm.

  
To wear. Okay. Fine.

  
Come on, Carter.

  
So, you cook?
I thought you had servants for that.

  
Actually, my mother grew up a peasant.

  
So she taught me many family recipes.

  
Wow!

  
Yeah, that sounds kind of fancy.

  
-Why don't we just order pizza?
-No, it's chicken and rice.

  
Fantastic. Bring it on, Rosie.

  
You know, I haven't had
a real home-cooked meal since...

  
Forever.

  
Right.

  
Let's dig in!

  
-How do you like it?
-That...

  
That is really, really good.
Gee, I had no idea you can cook.

  
-Thank you.
-This is terrific. You're wonderful.

  
Thank you. Would you like a roll?

  
-You made rolls, too?
-Yes.

  
-I had no idea.
-Yes.

  
Wow!

  
Must be nice to play peasant for a day.

  
Would you excuse me?

  
You do not know me, Carter.

  
What's the big deal?

  
You'll be back with your servants

  
and your personal chef
and private tutors soon enough.

  
How much did your father
tell you about me?

  
Other than the obvious,
I think we're on a need-to-know basis.

  
I think you need to know that my name
is Rosalinda Marie Montoya Fiore,

  
-and I am a royal princess.
-No kidding.

  
I am from a small island nation
called Costa Luna.

  
-Never heard of it.
-It is not on most maps.

  
It is very small,
very unimportant to large countries,

  
but very important to me.

  
When my father died,
he left Costa Luna to me.

  
You don't have to tell me...

  
One month before my coronation,
our palace was attacked.

  
Your father was very brave.

  
He risked his life for you, I know.

  
That's his job. He rescues
poor, oppressed princesses.

  
Did he tell you we had
to leave my mother behind?

  
The man who invaded Costa Luna
now holds her as a hostage.

  
I didn't know.

  
They told me
my becoming Rosie González

  
was the only way to keep her safe.

  
Stop. It's okay.

  
Carter, whatever I did to make
you dislike me, I am truly sorry.

  
I will try to blend in.
I will try to be from Iowa.

  
It is the only way
to save my mother's life.

  
Let's just start over.

  
I would like that.

  
But you need to lighten up
on this princess stuff.

  
It's really annoying.

  
Absolutely. Please, I only want
to be this typical American teenager.

  
You know what?
I think we can arrange that.

  
I love this place! What is it?

  
It's a bowling alley. That's bowling.

  
Just do what I do and don't draw
any attention to yourself, please.

  
Right.

  
-Thank you.
-Sure.

  
-Carter! How you doing?
-Hi, Ed.

  
-Hi. How you doing, Rosie?
-I'm well, thank you.

  
-What'll it be?
-Bowling, please.

  
No kidding.

  
Five-and-a-half coming up.

  
-Thank you.
-Sure.

  
-What size?
-Excuse me?

  
Your feet. What size?

  
I do not know.
All of my shoes are made for me.

  
There's a shock.
Just get her some shoes.

  
Okay.

  
Your Highness.

  
Why, thank you, Edward.

  
-It's Edwin, actually.
-Edwin. That is a wonderful name.

  
Thank you. It's been
a pleasure serving you, milady.

  
All right. Thank you, Romeo.

  
Okay.

  
You're not blending in. Pick a ball.

  
Did you see that?

  
-Yeah. Nobody ever does that for us.
-They do now.

  
-Your shoe's untied.
-Don't trip.

  
Oh!

  
Careful there.

  
Donny, you don't have
to carry that for her.

  
She can do it herself
like a normal person.

  
-So I'll just take this.
-Whatever you say...

  
-Carter.
-Right.

  
-So, Donny is your boyfriend?
-What? No, no. He's just a friend.

  
But he is very special to you.

  
I see the way you look at him.
It's the same way that Ed looks at you.

  
Okay, you're obviously not from here,
so just bowl. You first.

  
How do I win?

  
You win by knocking down
those white pins.

  
Okay, I'm ready.

  
-What?
-You may fire at the target.

  
You may fire it yourself.

  
Impossible.

  
Nice shot, Rosie!

  
You done already, Carter?

  
Yeah. Our lane's
getting a little crowded.

  
You don't really like your cousin,
do you?

  
No, it's... It's just...
She can be sometimes, you know, a...

  
Princess. She could win it all.

  
She is getting really popular.

  
The vote is on Monday. We can't
let her get more popular than we are.

  
There's only one thing to do
in a situation like this.

  
Excuse me! Excuse me! Roe!
Excuse me! Excuse me! Roe.

  
You are such a natural.
Will you show us how to bowl like that?

  
-Of course. But my name is Rosie.
-Oh! Roe's our nickname we gave you.

  
We give all of our friends nicknames.
She's Chels.

  
And she's Brookie and you're Roe.
You're one of us now.

  
-Carter?
-What?

  
Why do you care so much
for this boy Donny?

  
Who says I care for him?

  
Fine. I've been totally in love with him
since, like, the third grade,

  
when he kissed me
under the basketball hoop.

  
-Is that what you want to hear?
-He is quite beautiful.

  
Much like a prince.

  
I wonder if he is
beautiful on the inside as well.

  
-Shall we bowl again tomorrow?
-I can't. I'm working at the bait shack.

  
I've never worked before.
Is this normal?

  
Yes. Lots of kids have jobs.

  
-Then I will help you.
-You can't.

  
-Why not?
-Because it's mine.

  
You can't have everything that's mine!

  
Well, just... Want a job so bad?
Just go get one yourself.

  
All right.

  
Good night, Carter.

  
Thank you
for giving me this job, Chelsea.

  
No prob, Roe. Daddy owns,
like, 17 Udderlys all over the South.

  
-He's the King.
-Your father is a king?

  
Of frozen yogurt. One more thing.

  
You have to wear this.

  
So these are
the frozen yogurt machines.

  
You just pull the lever
and when it comes out

  
you just put a little swirly on top
and you're good to go, okay?

  
-Swirly?
-This is gonna be great.

  
And all your friends
will be here to support you.

  
We all want you to succeed
at your first job.

  
-Thank you so much.
-Uh-huh.

  
Ed!

  
Here she is, folks,

  
a future homecoming princess
of Lake Monroe, Louisiana.

  
Who is this natural beauty, you ask?

  
Will you go away? I'm working.

  
This is Carter Mason.

  
Secret identity? Bait Girl.

  
So confident of her innate royalty,

  
she is completely unafraid to handle
whatever disgusting creature...

  
Hey!

  
Isn't that... Not on my camera, please.

  
Then turn it off.

  
No.

  
Today's my last day
to get the "before" footage.

  
The princess vote is tomorrow.

  
Well, then go shoot Chelsea or Brooke.

  
Nah. I've got tons of them already.

  
-They pay me to film them.
-Is that why you're doing this?

  
-'Cause of the money?
-Absolutely.

  
I'm the only senior guy in Lake Monroe
who doesn't have a car.

  
Figures.

  
You really hate
this whole princess thing, don't you?

  
I don't hate it exactly.
I just think it's shallow.

  
Girls like Chelsea and Brooke,
all they care about is shoes.

  
Like wearing the right clothes
makes them superior.

  
I just want to do something
more important with my life,

  
Iike my dad.

  
Yeah, yeah,
he does sell some sick bait.

  
Right.

  
So, speaking of princesses,
where's Rosie?

  
How should I know?

  
I think I just found her.

  
Hey, I've been waiting here
for, like, 10 minutes.

  
I haven't got all day!

  
Just a second.

  
Hold on.

  
Oh, no!

  
It's not brain science!

  
Come on,
what are they paying you for?

  
I've been waiting for, like, ever!

  
Come on, Chels.
She's dying in there. Help her out.

  
You're absolutely right.
Brookie, we should go in there.

  
Oh, Chels.
If only our pedicures were dry.

  
Fine.

  
Bull, will you do me a huge favor?

  
Yeah. Yeah.

  
Wait.
How do I know it's the right one?

  
It's big. It's red. Can't miss it.

  
I can't believe it.
This is ridiculous!

  
I want my yogurt, okay?
You need some help, or what?

  
Hello?

  
I have to go!

  
Oh, no!

  
What are you doing?

  
Are you okay? Come here, Rosie.

  
-You said to get a job.
-Not this one! This job's for losers.

  
Trust me, I've had this job.
The bait shop is a step up.

  
Hey, check it out.

  
-What is happening?
-Chelsea set you up.

  
She invited all those people to come
watch you make a fool of yourself.

  
Carter, it's okay.

  
I am not a fool.

  
And she cannot make something
out of me that I am not.

  
Rosie, we have to do something.

  
I will turn the other cheek,
because that is what princesses do.

  
Your father, the King of Yogurts,

  
would be very disappointed in you.

  
Yeah, well, I'm not a princess.

  
She can't be a princess!

  
Don't freak, but she kind of can.

  
I've just been texted, like, 10 times.

  
Everybody thinks she's pretty cool.

  
Tomorrow, when the whole school
votes for three princesses,

  
she could be one of them.

  
-And if she gets enough votes...
-Don't say it.

  
...she could become queen.

  
No, I'm the queen! It's my destiny!

  
That's kind of iffy now.

  
I'd rather eat carbs than see her
wearing my crown.

  
-We have to stop her.
-How?

  
If she never becomes a princess,
she can't be the queen, right?

  
I'm not sure where you're going here.

  
Grab your cell.
We've got a whole lot of texting to do.

  
So, it's a skill that most Americans
master in, like, the third grade,

  
-but it's never too late to learn.
-I am ready to try.

  
Good luck.

  
Nice.

  
Okay, next we'll work on slouching,
eye-rolling and talking back to my dad.

  
If Mr. Elegante could see me right now,
he would be so mad at me.

  
-Who's Mr. Elegante?
-My royal dress designer.

  
You're kidding, right?

  
No. He is a close family friend.

  
If there were ever an emergency,
he would be the first I would call.

  
Must be nice to be a queen.

  
Actually, it's not all about
the dresses and crowns, Carter.

  
My mother told me that my father
never called himself king.

  
To our people, he was father,
brother and friend.

  
I hope to be like him
when I am Queen of Costa Luna.

  
-Father, brother...
-No!

  
I want to make a difference.

  
To do something more important
with your life?

  
Yes.

  
You know, you're different
than I thought a princess would be.

  
I hope that is a good thing.

  
Yeah, it is.

  
Thank you for helping me today.

  
A princess is never sure
who her true friend is.

  
Today, I am sure.

  
Me, too.

  
I'll give myself this one and this one,

  
for bravery and honor.

  
A thief has no honor.

  
Sophia! Come in, come in, come in.

  
We have a great deal to discuss.
Do you think it's too much?

  
I want to look my best when I announce
my engagement today.

  
Who could be so unfortunate
as to become your bride?

  
Well, as a matter of fact,

  
she is standing right here in this room.

  
That's ridiculous.
I will never marry you. Ever.

  
Of course you won't.

  
But Rosalinda will not know this.

  
She will see the announcement,
assume you are doing it to protect her,

  
and come racing back
to her mother's side

  
just in time to join you in exile.

  
The people of Costa Luna
will never accept that.

  
The same was said for the people
of Costa Estrella 20 years ago,

  
and look what happened.

  
Hmm.

  
Take her back to her cell.

  
Oh, and bring me
my hair and makeup team.

  
We must touch up this gray
before I go on camera.

  
Yeah.

  
Sorry.

  
Wait,
where's everyone going?

  
Good morning, students.

  
The votes
for your three homecoming...

  
We must hurry, Carter.

  
Okay, you're way too
into this princess thing.

  
Now,
I'd like to announce the winners.

  
And your princesses are
Chelsea Barnes!

  
Thank you! Thank you!

  
Carter Mason!

  
"Carter Mason."

  
And your third and final princess is

  
Rosie González!

  
Thank you. Thank you.

  
-What happened?
-I don't know!

  
We texted everyone in the school.

  
They were supposed to vote
for Carter instead of Rosie,

  
not Carter and Rosie.

  
-This is all your fault.
-How is it my fault?

  
If you were more popular,
you'd be the princess, not her.

  
I am popular!

  
This is not good, okay?
Me being a princess is not normal.

  
Hey, there.

  
Hey, Rosie, can I talk to you?

  
-Me?
-Her?

  
Yeah.

  
So, you know there's the homecoming
dance and everything, and...

  
Will you go to the dance
with me, Rosie?

  
-Me?
-Her?

  
Yeah. I want you to be my date
for the dance.

  
Donny, that is very kind of you, but no.

  
Will you excuse me?

  
Uh...

  
Sure.

  
That was the most humiliating thing
that has ever happened to me.

  
And I've been humiliated a lot.

  
What was I thinking? A guy like Donny
would never go out with me.

  
Then he is not worthy of you.

  
Yeah, you can say that
'cause you're all high and royal.

  
-But I'm just a girl who sells bait.
-No.

  
You are so much more.
You are a princess now.

  
Yeah. Trust me, I am not a princess.

  
Yes, you are.

  
You just do not feel like one yet.

  
When I came here, you taught me
how to act normal, not royal.

  
Now it is my turn to teach you.

  
You think that being a princess
is superficial.

  
Yeah, I guess.

  
That it is about what you wear,
and how you look.

  
Well, it is a little bit
about how you look.

  
But more importantly,

  
it is about what you have to offer
the world and who you are inside.

  
Come on, Carter.
Let's go find your inner princess.

  
You come from here
I come from there

  
You rock out in your room
I'd like a world premiere

  
We're more alike
than anybody could ever tell

  
Ever tell

  
Friday we're cool
Monday we're freaks

  
Sometimes we rule
Sometimes we can't even speak

  
But we kick it up
Let loose and LOL

  
LOL

  
It may seem clichéd for me
to want to say that you're not alone

  
Not alone

  
And you can call me uncooI
But it's a simple fact I got your back

  
Yeah, yeah, yeah

  
'Cause we're one and the same

  
We're anything but ordinary

  
One and the same

  
I think we're almost legendary

  
You and me, the perfect team

  
Chasing down the dream

  
We're one and the same

  
One and the same

  
We're anything but ordinary

  
One and the same

  
I think we're almost legendary

  
You and me, the perfect team

  
Shaking up the scene

  
We're one and the same

  
You're just so good with everybody.

  
Kids, old people,
you're probably even good with dogs.

  
That is true.

  
You're so much more generous
than I thought you'd be.

  
It is a princess's job to help people.

  
I guess I never really thought about

  
what it really means to be a princess.

  
Like this.

  
I can't believe
you actually have to do this.

  
Oh, no, you don't.

  
-Wait, then, why am I doing it?
-Because it is funny.

  
What? I hate you!

  
-You do?
-No, no, no. No.

  
No, I didn't mean it that way.
I didn't mean "l hate you" I hate you.

  
I meant "l hate you," like,
you're my best friend.

  
Oh!

  
Well, then, I hate you, too.

  
And that dress is ugly.

  
-It is?
-No!

  
It is beautiful. And so are you.

  
Look.

  
You're becoming a princess
on the inside.

  
And now you look like one, too.

  
Excuse me, I have this lame reading
assignment for Spanish class.

  
Do you think that you have
something that's really easy

  
with lots of pictures?

  
Oh! Cool.

  
"Princess Rosalinda"? No way!

  
It's Mason. What's going on?

  
General Kane's
announcement of his engagement

  
to doña Sophia Montoya

  
has popped up
in several tabloid magazines.

  
The story is contained so far,

  
but I would be lying to say
I was not concerned.

  
She'd never agree to marry him.

  
I was not suggesting
she would, Major.

  
General Kane's doing this
to draw Rosalinda out.

  
He knows she won't allow her mother
to be forced into marriage.

  
Absolutely.

  
So, it is imperative
that we keep this from Rosalinda.

  
Yes, ma'am. I agree.

  
Major, has she made any enemies?

  
Anyone who might want
to expose her identity?

  
Not that I know of.

  
Let's move that throne here.

  
No. No, actually, there.

  
Oh, I know. Up there.

  
And let's hang some lights
directly on it.

  
That might be too harsh
on my skin tone.

  
We should hire a lighting designer.

  
The budget's gone, Chelsea.
What you see is what you get.

  
Okay, okay. I know!

  
A follow-spot just on me.

  
Maybe light pink,
or golden like the sun.

  
It's great to be queen.

  
You're not queen yet. Carter could win,

  
-or Rosie.
-Can it, Muffy.

  
-My name's Margaret.
-Not anymore.

  
-Hey, Chels.
-Don't call me that.

  
You lost that right when you lost
your princess crown to Bait Girl

  
and her strangely formal cousin.

  
Well, what if we could get Rosie
to drop out of homecoming altogether?

  
-She would never do that.
-She might.

  
She's not who she says she is.
She's Princesa Rosalinda.

  
It's in Spanish.

  
-What does the article say?
-I'm not sure.

  
What? I'm pretty, not smart.
Okay, let me try.

  
It's about Rosie and her mom.

  
One of them has fled the country
and one of them is in prison

  
or a paper bag.

  
I get those two mixed up.

  
No biggie. Good work, Brookie.

  
Thanks, Chels.

  
I have the perfect plan.

  
-Hey, girls.
-Hi, Mr. Mason. Is Rosie home?

  
-Maybe. What's up?
-Up?

  
Well, we're planning
a little princess surprise for Carter.

  
-To congratulate her.
-Yeah. It was Rosie's idea.

  
She's in her room. Go on in.

  
I've never heard of Costa Luna.
Have you, Brookie?

  
No, Chels.

  
I do not know
what you are talking about.

  
We know all about you
and your mother. And the paper bag.

  
-What?
-Poor Princess Rosalinda.

  
Did you hear she's in hiding?

  
-You do not understand.
-I understand that you lied to us.

  
-Only to protect my mother.
-From the paper bag?

  
No.

  
Look, I will give you a reward
for keeping my secret.

  
-We know you will.
-You do?

  
And we already have it picked out.

  
-I don't understand.
-Yeah, me either.

  
You're gonna turn in
your crown, Princess.

  
You're going to tell everyone
that there is, and only will be,

  
one true homecoming queen,
and that's me.

  
-That's good.
-Fine.

  
You may take my crown,

  
but you will not take Carter's.
She's no threat to you, Chelsea.

  
Fine.

  
Let Bait Girl
play princess for one night.

  
She just won't look like one.

  
Have fun at the dance!

  
Look at what Chelsea and Brooke...

  
-What's wrong?
-I have to leave, Carter.

  
Leave? Leave where?

  
Back to my country.

  
General Kane is forcing my mother
into marriage.

  
-Father's never gonna let you go back.
-He'll never know.

  
Yeah, but I know. And I'm not gonna
let you go back, either.

  
Carter, you have to stay out of this.

  
I have a duty to my people.

  
And this is something
that you'll never understand.

  
I've loved living here in Louisiana.

  
And I wish my life could be like this
every day.

  
But this is not reality.

  
I mean, you think
my life as a princess is some fairy tale?

  
This here is a fairy tale!

  
And I cannot hide here anymore.

  
Soon I will be Queen of Costa Luna.

  
My country needs me.

  
You're right. They do need you.

  
They need you to lead them,
and to protect them.

  
And that's something
you can't do from jail,

  
which is exactly where you'll end up
if you go back to Costa Luna.

  
No way am I letting this happen.

  
Hola, this is Elegante. Who is this?

  
That's not important.

  
All that matters
is I'm a friend of Princess Rosalinda,

  
and she's about to make
a very big mistake.

  
My princesa? What mistake is this?

  
She wants to come home.

  
No, no, no, no, no, she must not.

  
It's too dangerous.

  
I know. But I have a plan.

  
And I'm gonna need you
to listen very carefully.

  
I will do anything for the Princesa.
Anything.

  
Okay, to start with,
I'm gonna need two dresses.

  
You okay?

  
I'm going to miss this place.

  
I'm going to miss you, Carter.

  
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I'm going to miss you, too.

  
Rosie, can you do me
a big favor before you go?

  
Anything.

  
You said it is a princess' job
to help others.

  
It is.

  
Well, the dance is on Friday night,

  
and there's some people
that I want to help.

  
I want to make this night
special for them, for all of us.

  
Will you please stay until then?

  
For them, please.

  
That's it,
keep your chin up.

  
What in the...

  
Okay, stay there,
that's perfect. Very good.

  
-Morning, Dad.
-Morning. What the...

  
What are you girls up to?

  
Just having some friends over
from school. Is that okay?

  
Yeah, yeah. It's fine. What's in the box?

  
Homecoming stuff. No biggie.

  
Hmm.

  
And you are sure about this
homecoming dance, Señor Elegante?

  
Absolutely.

  
I feel, in one way,
I'm betraying my queen,

  
but I thought
you should know, General.

  
It's for the good of Costa Luna.

  
You did the right thing
by coming to me, señor.

  
Fuel the jet!

  
Tell the pilot
we will be flying to Louisiana.

  
A lovely color. Lovely indeed.

  
Caribbean blue, General.

  
To complement
Princess Rosalinda's skin tone.

  
Well, back to work.
You have a dress to finish.

  
Two, actually.

  
Where did you get them?

  
Well, you said to call Mr. Elegante
if I had an emergency.

  
And I think
that this is a fashion emergency.

  
-Carter, you are brilliant.
-This one is yours.

  
He says you look best in pink.

  
And this one is mine.
It's Caribbean blue.

  
Thank you, Carter.
This is a night I'll always remember.

  
I hope so.

  
Are you guys ready?
'Cause it's getting kind of late.

  
Come on in, girls.

  
Helen's House of Beauty
is open for business.

  
Okay.

  
Oh, this is a great color on you.

  
How do I look, Dad?

  
I think we have a problem.

  
I may have to stop calling you "pal."

  
All right, I gotta grab this.
You girls gonna be okay?

  
-Yeah, we'll be fine. Go ahead.
-You sure?

  
Of course. We're not kids.

  
All right. Well, have a good time.
And be careful.

  
-Mason.
-Helen.

  
All right, Your Highnesses.

  
Time's a-wasting.
The dance starts in 1 0 minutes.

  
Masks? No one said anything
about masks.

  
Come on!

  
Hey! Hey!

  
I'm stuck!
Open the door, Donny. Hello?

  
Donny. Donny!

  
Come here, come here.

  
-You okay?
-Get off!

  
Okay, freshman,
I think I can take it from here.

  
-No.
-Carter, what's the problem?

  
I thought we had,
you know, something.

  
-Actually, we don't.
-Okay, what's up?

  
Isn't this what you've been waiting
for since, like, third grade?

  
Before I put on this dress,
you couldn't even remember my name.

  
I might be a princess tonight,
but I'll always be Bait Girl.

  
And I'm proud of that.

  
Carter, you're making a big mistake.

  
No, Donny. I don't think I am.

  
You deserve better than him, Carter.

  
I know.
Too bad it took this long to realize it.

  
Guys!

  
What happened to you?

  
Shut up and fix me.

  
-Did you get me a crown?
-Who cares?

  
In a few minutes,
it won't matter anyways.

  
I'll be named queen
and this will all be over.

  
I thought we were in this together.

  
We are. Lip gloss.

  
No.

  
-What?
-I said no.

  
You can't use my lip gloss anymore.

  
But I have to look pretty. I'm a princess.

  
Yeah, a terrible one.

  
A princess is supposed to be
a girl of exemplary character,

  
a role model. But you,

  
you're not even kind,
honest or charitable in any way.

  
You're not even nice.

  
I don't think
I want to be your friend anymore.

  
-Brookie...
-Don't call me that.

  
Carter, Rosie,
I just wanted to thank you for tonight.

  
I never thought I could look beautiful.
Or feel beautiful, for that matter.

  
Margaret, you are beautiful.

  
And thanks for not calling me Muffy.

  
No problem.

  
I love this song! Let's go dance!

  
Well, why don't you two go ahead?
Be princesses.

  
Okay!

  
There you are! Finally!

  
You don't understand, miss.

  
-I'm the...
-Security. I know. You're late.

  
And what is with the uniforms?

  
No one's wearing berets this year.

  
Just stay out here and make sure
no one gets in that dance,

  
unless they're students
from Lake Monroe. Got it?

  
Got it. Enjoy your evening.

  
Okay, everybody, he's about to
announce the winner.

  
Let's put on our masks.

  
Princesses everywhere.

  
Caribbean blue. Beautiful indeed.

  
Come with me now, Princesa,
and no harm will come to your friends.

  
Can I have your attention, please?
I hold here in my hand

  
the name of our Lake Monroe Homecoming Queen.

  
And the winner is

  
Princess Rosie González.

  
Rosie, are you out there?

  
Thank you.

  
Since I've been here,
I've learned many wonderful things.

  
Most importantly,

  
I've learned about friendship
and loyalty and trust.

  
And that those are not things
that are just given,

  
but things we must earn.

  
So I want to thank Carter Mason

  
for teaching me these things.

  
And for being my friend.

  
Carter, where are you?

  
That was so beautiful, Rosie.

  
Thank you. But I need to find Carter.

  
Hold it right there, Princess.

  
My crown. Hand it over.

  
-Chelsea, please...
-You're not going anywhere

  
until I get that crown.

  
No!

  
Sorry.

  
I am so getting you back for this!

  
General Kane!

  
Well, it appears as if
everyone wants to be a princess.

  
Unfortunately, it is time
for the masquerade to end.

  
What are you doing?
The plan was working perfectly.

  
This was a very brave plan.

  
But this is my fight, not yours.

  
-You don't have to go with them.
-Enough!

  
As the Princesa
so eloquently pointed out,

  
this is not your fight.

  
General Kane.

  
-Good to see you again.
-What is the meaning of this?

  
You are interfering
with official business

  
of the sovereign land of Costa Luna.

  
Maybe this will fly in your country,
but, here, it's called kidnapping.

  
We're turning you over
to the international authorities.

  
-Get him.
-No, let me.

  
I'm going to enjoy this.

  
How does it feel to be brought to justice
by a 16-year-old girl, General?

  
Not so hot.

  
I can't believe you would do this for me.

  
That's what princesses do.

  
They do it for each other.

  
And you are truly a princess now,
Carter Mason.

  
You rightfully deserve this.

  
Hold it! Nobody moves!

  
Nobody goes anywhere.

  
I'll take that.

  
Let her go.
She needs it way more than I do.

  
All right. Come on. Hey, guard.

  
You got him?

  
Oh, I'm in so much trouble.

  
What were you thinking, Carter?

  
I was thinking I'd be perfect bait.

  
Get it? I'm Bait Girl.

  
Why didn't you just come to me?

  
Dad, you would have never let me do it.

  
-You're lucky I was here.
-I knew you would be.

  
You're always there for me.

  
You rescue princesses.
That's what you do.

  
You and me, pal.

  
You and me, Dad.

  
I present to you

  
Queen Rosalinda Marie Montoya Fiore

  
of Costa Luna!

  
Long live Queen Rosie!

  
Long live Queen Rosie!

  
You had your dreams, I had mine

  
You had your fears, I was fine

  
You showed me what I couldn't find

  
When two different worlds collide

  
When two different worlds collide

  
Ladies, you're here. Excellent.

  
Are you ready
for your next assignment?

  
-I am.
-Me, too.

  
But can we go somewhere
a little bit warmer?

  
My feet are still frozen
from that walk through Helsinki.

  
Carter, you can be such a princess.

  
Something wrong with that?

  
Door opening.

  



Special thanks to SergeiK.