Voila! Finally, the Recess: School's Out
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie based on the
tv show. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Recess: School's Out. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Hey, how’s it going, Frank ?
Not so good. I can’t seem to get
this photon channelerworking.
Well, you’d better
figure it out.
- The colonel wants to show
the system to the top brass next month.
- I know, I know.
[ Men Shouting ]
-[LoudBang]
- What was that ?
- What’s that sound out there ?
- [ Alarm Blaring ]
It’s a break-in !
Erase the access code !
X-Y- --
[ Gasps ]
[ Both Groan ]
[Alarm Continues
Blaring, Stops]
All clear.
Neatly done, Fernlick.
- It’s, uh, Fenwick, sir.
- Oh.
- Are they dead ?
- No, sir. Merely unconscious.
Good, good.
You know how I hate violence.
Mmm. Nice shine.
-Uh, what next, sir ?
-Well, obviously, we establish our base.
- And where will that be ?
- The last place on Earth they’d look.
A place called...
rd Street School.
Last day ofschool sale,
boys and girls.
Getyour celebratory
contraband right here.
Shaving cream, T.P., goofy string,
maps ofthe teachers’ houses.
I’ll take one ofthem maps,
Hustler Kid.
Hey, Diggers, let’s party.
Can’t now. Gotta finish filling up
our holes before the end ofthe day.
Won’t be able to dig ’em up nextyear
ifwe don’t fill ’em now.
[ Spitting ]
Hey ! Big kids bury me !
Oops.
I, King Bob, in my last official
act before entering middle school,
hereby anoint this boy here
King Freddie the Second.
Mayyou boss around
all ofthe kids with fairness.
The king has graduated !
Long live the king !
- [ Cheering ]
- ¯¯ [ ‘‘Hail to the Chief’ ]
Elbow up !
Eyes forward !
You call that kazoo playing ?
- Ah, ceremony.
- I’m, like, moved, AshleyA.
Saywhatyou want about their
personal lives, Ashley Q
The royals have such style.
Keep ’em comin’ !
Let’s go !
Ms. Finster, the kids are practically
mad with last-day-of-school fever !
Ofcourse they are, Randall.
They’re animals living by pure instinct.
I’ve got a list
ofinfractions a mile long:
The Diggers
hit a water main,
- the kindergarteners
are feasting on paste,
- Never mind, Randall.
Hustler Kid is, uh--
Did you say ‘‘never mind’’ ?
That’s right, Randall. What I’ve
got here is bigger, much bigger.
All this year I’ve been holding
back on the ice cream, hiding it
from all those little savages.
Just look at it, Randall.
I’m counting maybe cases ofit.
What areyou going to do
with all those ice creams ?
Sell ’em back to the district,
ofcourse.
Think ofall the chalk
and erasers we can get.
But, Ms. Finster,
I’ve got dirt on everybody.
Well, everybody except
Detweiler and his pals.
Come to think ofit,
I haven’t seen those guys anywhere.
Ah, forget about ’em, Randall.
There’s nothing T.J. Detweiler and his
hooligan friends can do to stop me now.
Well, that should do it.
There’s enough here for everyone.
Good. Then it’s party time.
Kids ofthe playground !
I giveyou ice cream !
Pull !
[ Cheering ]
- Ice cream !
- Choco-pops !
- Fudge bars !
Fudgsicle !
My ice cream !
Stop it !
Stop it, I say !
You little monsters
are in trouble now !
-Just wait’ll Principal Prickly
finds out about this !
-Attention, students !
- This is Principal Prickly talking.
- Ooh, that was fast.
Some ofyou may have noticed
ice cream on the playground.
I willnotstandforthis. This
ice creamshouldbe eatenimmediately.
Huh ?
[ Cheering ]
In addition, I wantyou all to ignore
Ms. Finster, no matterwhat she says...
about ice cream
or anything else.
- [ Cheering Continues ]
- [ Muttering ] This can’t be happening.
Furthermore, I want to inform you
all that I have a fat, saggy butt...
which I like to scratch
every hour on the hour.
Also, I want to apologize
to all ofyou...
for being such a mean principal,
taking away hall passes,
giving guys recess detention,
refusing toacceptsicKnotes
just ’causeitdoesn’tlooK
liKeaguy’smom’ssignature,
maKingKidsstandat the wall
forten wholeminutes, withnobreaK!
Man, I feel ashamed ofmyselffor all
the terrible, rotten things I’ve done.
And nextyear,
I promise to--
Why, Principal Prickly, sir,
what a surprise.
Why doyou do this to me, Detweiler ?
Doyou enjoy tormenting me ?
- Doyou hate me ?
- On the contrary, sir, I have
the utmost respect foryou.
Don’t be smart with me, boy. All year
long you’ve been pushing me, testing me.
- I don’t know whatyou mean, sir.
- Oh, really ?
How about the timeyou convinced
the F.B.I. I was a Chinese agent
and got me arrested ?
You were giving us a speech on
personal hygiene. You had to be stopped.
How about the time
you forged my signature
and ordered a motorboat for the school ?
It was for the kindergarteners.
Owning a boat’s always been
kind ofa dream oftheirs.
I’ve had enough ofyour pranks.
This time I’m really gonna
throw the book atyou.
With all due respect, sir, you’d better
get throwing, ’causeyou’re out oftime.
- Huh ?
- It’s the last day ofschool, sir.
I’ve only got more seconds
offourth grade left. Look.
In some ways, people,
this day is a bummer for me.
But in otherways
it’s the ultimate high,
because every milestone thatyou kids
pass is another step towards--
- Uh, Miss Grotke ?
- Yes, Spinelli ?
I don’t mean
to interrupt, but--
Oh, yes !
Be my guest.
[ Kids In Unison ]
Six, five, four, three, two, one--
-[BellRings]
- [ Cheering ]
- Whoo !
- Whoo-hoo !
[ Laughing ]
Yeah !
[ Together]
Scandalous !
Callingoutaroundthe world
Areyouready forabrand-newbeat
-Summer’shere
- You eat paste ! You eat paste !
Andthe timeis right
fordancin’in thestreet
-[Stops]
- Hey ! No running in the halls !
Yeah, what’s the big deal ?
It’sjust the end ofthe school year.
[ Together]
The end ofthe school year ?
- Whoo-hoo !
Itdoesn’tmatter
whatyou wear
- Whoo-hoo ! [ Laughing ]
-Justas long asyouare there
Girls, what shall we do with
the rest ofthis corn chowder ?
[ Sniffs ] Aw, leave it in the kettle.
It’ll keep till September.
- [ All Laughing ]
- They’llbe dancing
Dancing in thestreet
- They’re dancin’in thestreet
-Dancing in thestreet
Seeyou nextyear,
Principal Prickly.
You’d better do some
growing up this summer, young man.
[ Sighs ]
I hate myjob.
There’llbelaughin’
singin’
Andrecordsplayin’
Dancin’in thestreet
Look at those hooligans.
Actually, I think it’s a wonderful
expression offreedom andjoy.
I’ll tell you a wonderful expression
offreedom andjoy.
Twelve weeks ofnothing but me at the
West Side GolfCourse, and no Detweiler.
I second that emotion, sir.
Man, Teej,
that prankwas sweet.
Yeah, you should’ve seen
Finster’s face-- I thought
she was gonna blow a gasket.
Those limesicles were tasty.
A tasty beginning
to a tasty summer.
Twelve weeks ofnothing but
riding bikes, hanging out at the lake...
and T.P.-ing
the West Side GolfCourse.
Summervacation--
the ultimate recess.
Yeah, I can’t wait
to get to baseball camp.
Baseball camp ?
What areyou talking about ?
Actually, Teej,
I’m gonna be out oftown too.
Big-time Wrestling Federation
has this training camp,
and I gotta learn some new moves
ifI’m ever gonna turn pro.
- But, Spinelli--
- It’s military camp for me.
My dad says I need to
learn to be a leader.
I shall be attending
the Mt. Van Buren Space Camp.
- Don’t wanna let those
science geeks get ahead ofme.
- You’re all going to camp ?
- Not me.
- Thank goodness.
The Young Voices Training Program
doesn’t like the word ‘‘camp.’’
They provide opportunities for aspiring
singers to train theirvoices...
in a rigorous
yet supportive setting.
But summer’s gonna be ruined.
What am I gonna do ? Play baseball
by myself? Watch reruns ? Read ?
Sorry, man, but we gotta
think about our futures.
Yeah, we can’t waste the whole summer
Just fooling around like kids.
- But we are kids !
- Actually, as ofthe completion
offourth grade,
we are technically considered
pre-young adults.
And nextyear
we won’t even be ‘‘pre.’’
But--
[ Sighs ]
All right, let’s make the most
ofthe time we’ve got left.
When doyou all leave ?
- First thing in the morning.
- Oh, man.
[Chattering]
Well, there’s my bus.
- Better get going.
- Yeah, same here.
Bye, Teej.
Try to have some fun, okay ?
Don’t worry, buddy.
You’ll have a great time without us.
I don’t know, Vince.
All my plans were made for six.
Don’t tell meyou Ashleys
are going to baseball camp.
Eeew !
As if!
Cheerleading camp
is right across the lake. Duh !
I hope it’s a big lake.
[Horn HonKs]
Ah, space camp.
Wonder ifthey’ll
let us make craters.
Hey, Hustler Kid,
I didn’t knowyou wrestled.
I don’t.
I’m pre-management.
Besides, my research tells me
that kids who wrestle trade
the most for contraband snacks.
Which reminds me--
Wanna buy a Winger-Dinger ?
All right, all the kindergarten
performers on the bus first.
-[AllShouting]
- Me ViKing !
Me Viking !
Me Viking ! Me Viking !
Bon voyage...
[ Adult Baritone ]
¯T.J. ¯
[Applause]
Big kid sing good.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Well, Teej,
there’s my transport.
Why don’tyou come with ?
Military camp’s gonna be a blast !
Griswald, you maggot,
getyour fanny over here now !
Thanks, Gus, but I think I’ll
stick it out at home this summer.
Okay, butyou don’t know
whatyou’re missing.
- Hiya, Captain Brad !
- I don’t likeyou, Griswald.
I am notyour friend !
- Do I make myselfclear ?
- Yes, sir ! Not looking
for friendship, sir !
Good luck, Gus.
You’re gonna need it.
Man, this summer’s
gonna whomp.
Oneis
theloneliestnumber
Thatyou’lleverdo
Two canbe
asbadas one
It’s theloneliestnumber
since thenumberone
[ Bird Squawking ]
Nois
thesaddestexperience
You’lleverKnow
Yes, it’s
thesaddestexperience
You’lleverKnow
’Cause one
is theloneliestnumber
Thatyou’lleverdo
Oneis
theloneliestnumber
Whoa-ohh
worse than two
And so, the summer season
officially begins...
with kids all over the country
rushing offto camp.
In other news, the national
No Recess movement...
has hit a serious
stumbling block...
with the disappearance
ofits leader,
former Secretary of Education
Phillium Benedict.
Benedict, fired by the president
twoyears ago for his extremist views,
has recently been--
No recess ?
What a bunch ofhogwash.
[ Yawns ]
Morning, Mom. Morning, Dad.
Areyoujust getting up now ?
Geez, you’re sleeping away
yourwhole vacation.
Why don’tyou go play
with your friends ?
What friends ? The ones
who abandoned me and went to camp ?
Now, T.J., I know there are
other boys around this summer.
Mrs. Ween says Randall is available.
Doyou want me to make a play date ?
- A play date ?
- Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
Bye, T-Jerk.
Now, Becky, be nice
toyour little brother.
He’s feeling S-A-D right now.
- I can spell, Mom.
- Well, unlike some kids,
I gotta get to work.
Mr. Walsh says ifI can
master the Vatman
I’ll be assistant manager
by the end ofthe summer,
and you know what that means--
I’ll get to drive
the Floppy Burger truck.
Boy, she’s sure
aiming for the stars.
At least she’s not sitting
around the house, moping all summer.
Going to a play date
with Randall.
Man, I can’t believe
I sunk this low.
This is the worst summer ever.
[ Loud Zap ]
- What the heck ?
- [ Loud Zap ]
- That’s weird.
- Hey, you!
Get away from that fence !
Hey, Dad, what do they
use the school for during the summer ?
They lock it up.
It’s empty. Why ?
Today, when I was riding by,
I saw this scary guy and--
I’m sure he wasjust
cleaning up.
I think something weird’s going on
in there-- something really weird.
[ Sighs ]
Mrs. La Salle was right.
We should’ve sent him
to some kind ofcamp.
: a.m. Ugly bald guy
still guarding school.
[Horn HonKs]
Staging area one.
- Give me a hand with this.
- Got it.
: -and-a-halfa.m.
Grownups wrong. School’s not empty.
[LoudZap]
: and three quarters.
Green glow in window again.
I’m going in
for a closer look.
[ Loud Zap ]
Allright,
goaheadandelevateit.
[ Gasps ]
Mom ! Mom !
- [ Groans ]
- T.J. ! Areyou all right ?
Those guys at the school, they’re doing
some kind ofevil experiment !
That bonk on the head
must’ve rattled your little brain.
- But, Mom--
- You’re feverish.
You wait right here.
I’ll go get the baby thermometer
and the petroleum jelly.
Uh, Dad, Dad !
- Dad !
- What is it, boy ?
Those bad guys have a laser beam
and they’re lifting this safe--
T.J., did you run into
the sliding glass door again ?
No, but-- Yeah, but--
Gaaah !
Come back ! Your mom’s gonna
want to takeyour temperature !
Okay, kid,
we got it all in the report.
We’ll take care of
those mad scientists.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah, no one’s gonna
levitate any safe on mywatch.
Ooh, look, Artie,
somebody’s levitating my doughnut...
with a laser beam !
-[Laughing Continues]
- Gohome, Kid!Gohome!
Laugh at me, will ya ?
- I’m gonna be a taxpayer someday !
-[Man] Haveagoodround.
Principal Prickly !
Wait !
Yeah, you guys
did it right.
Psychology, law, waste management--
good, solid careers.
Me, I’m stuckwith a bunch
ofpain-in-the-neck kids all year.
- Pete, areyou gonna putt
or grouse all day ?
- Okay, okay, here goes.
-[TJ.]PrincipalPricKly!
- Ohh !
You gotta come quick !
It’s an emergency !
Well, well, well, ifit isn’t
Mr. Ice Cream For Everyone.
- This is that kid
I was telling you about.
- The ‘‘saggy butt’’ kid ?
- Hey, hey, whatever happened to
doctor-patient confidentiality ?
- Sorry.
Something weird’s
going on in the school.
I saw these mad scientists and--
Yeah, yeah, very funny.
I’m not falling for another one
ofyour so-calledjokes.
- How dumb doyou think I am ?
- It’s not ajoke, sir.
They have this laser beam, and--
Aw, please, Principal Prickly, you gotta
believe me ! The school’s in danger !
Give me a break,
Detweiler.
Come on.
Go with the kid, Pete.
- This isn’t the kind ofissue
you should be avoiding.
- [ All Laughing ]
All right, Detweiler,
let’s get this overwith.
Looks fine to me.
Now can I go back to my golfgame ?
Just wait till you get inside.
You’ll see.
Oh, the things I do
foryou kids.
Sometimes I thinkyou were
put on this Earthjust to--
- Aaah !
- Aaah !
Aaah !
[ Panting ]
: a.m.
Principal Prickly
dematerialized...
in a horrifying field
ofelectricity.
The cops won’t listen.
Mom and Dad won’t listen.
I gotta get the guys together.
It’s the onlyway.
Like, I am so through
with him, Melissa.
He asked me ifI spoke French,
then winked at me.
Becky, you gotta help me !
I need a ride up to Chesterville !
Areyou kidding ? I’m not doing anything
foryou, you little dork.
‘‘Oh, how I dream ofthe mustache fuzz
onJimmy’s sweaty lips...
glistening as he cooks in the light
ofa dozen hamburger heat lamps.’’
- Hey, that’s my diary ! Give me that !
- Ah-ah-ah. I’ve got copies.
Eitheryou give me a ride,
or this baby hits the Internet.
Getyourmotorrunnin’
Headouton thehighway
ThanKs fordrivingme, BecKy.
You’re thesweetestbigsister
aKidcouldasK for.
Andyouare theannoyingpetmonKey
I wish Inevergot!
Hey, I trytoKeep things
interesting.
Nextreststop, pullin.
Igotta taKe care ofbusiness.
Get that front leg up,
Biggles.
You call that a pitch,
Hornsby ?
Come on, La Salle !
Throw it, don’t aim it !
I know, I know !
Man, I can pitchjust fine
when I’m with my friends.
Psst! Psst!
- T.J., what areyou doing here ?
- You gotta come back to town.
It’s an emergency.
What ? I can’tjust leave.
Something weird
is going on at school.
- Principal Prickly got dematerialized.
- Dematerialized ?
- T.J., you’re crazy.
- Am I ?
Mt. Van Buren ? That’s miles away.
I’m not taking you there.
‘‘Dear Diary,
I dreamed ofJimmy again.
He was rocking me so gently,
-just like he rocks the grease off
a basket ofhot and steamy onion rings.’’
- [ Moans ]
- Whoa ! Let me look at that.
-Jerks.
Hey, you kids ! Get away from
that fake Martian landscape !
- Miss Director ! Miss Director !
- What is it now, Gretchen ?
I’ve been studying the moon with the
-inch telescope at the observatory,
and I’ve detected some peculiar
eccentricities in its orbit.
Gretchen, maybeyou should try out one
ofthese neat antigravity harnesses.
The other kids love ’em,
and look, you can even do back flips,
Just like real astronauts.
But--
[ Sighs ]
Why do I bother ?
Becauseyou’re driven
by a passionate desire for knowledge ?
T.J. ? Vince ?
What areyou guys doing here ?
You’re not gonna
believe this, but--
- Dematerialized ?
-Just like out ofStar TreK.
Fascinating.
¯ Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi ¯
- ¯ Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi ¯
- ¯ Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi ¯
¯ Mi, mi, mi, mi-- ¯
[ Whispering ]
Me ?
Look out, marshals !
Here comes the flying press !
[ Grunts ]
Youareapathetic excuse
forasoldier, Griswald!
You will never be a leader !
Now, stand at attention until I return !
And do not move a muscle !
Doyou hear me ? Not a muscle !
- Thanks a lot, sis.
- You owe me gas money.
- Okay, Teej, what’s this
big secret plot ofyours ?
- Follow me.
Look at that.
Let’s get movin’ out.
- Who are those guys ?
- Perhaps they’re government agents.
- Or gangsters.
- Or aliens.
Aliens ?
They don’t look like aliens.
Well, maybe they’re in disguise.
Yeah, ifyou were an alien,
you wouldn’tjust walk around
in your lizard skin all day.
Hmm. Good point.
Whoever they are, we need
to take a closer look.
- We’ll get the rest later.
- Right. I’ll close it up.
Hurry.
Man, this thing weighs a ton.
That’s ’cause it’s full
ofmoon rocks and alien eggs.
Hey, it’sjust
a bunch ofpaper.
Weather maps ? Test scores ?
Some stuffwritten in Swedish ?
- Actually, that’s Norwegian.
- Whatever. It’s all
Just dumb school stuff.
You got me out ofbaseball camp to watch
some guys restock the supply room ?
No ! Something’s going on
in the school ! I swear !
Teej, I thinkyou cooked
this whole thing upjust ’cause
you wanted us back from camp.
- What ?
- Hey, we understand.
It must be pretty boring around here
all summer byyourself.
Your mind simply created an adventure
because it needed some excitement.
No, it really happened.
I saw Prickly disappear.
Well, if Prickly disappeared,
then who’s that ?
- Come on, guys. Let’s get back to camp.
- Yeah.
Seeya in a few weeks, Teej.
No, wait !
You guys gotta believe me !
- I’m not making it up ! I-- I--
-[MetalClanKing]
- Aye-yi-yi, yi-yi.
- [ All Gasp ]
Whoa !
What’s happening ?
[ Sputtering ]
Okay, that right there ?
That was messed up.
[TJ. ]
MiKey ?
Mikey, you okay ?
W-Where am I ?
You’re in T.J.’s backyard, man.
How’d you guys
get me here ?
Hey, this is kinda comfy.
Yeah, yeah. Get out ofthere,
you big lummox.
Okay, Teej, you were right. Something
weird is going on in the school.
- And Prickly must be in on it.
- I saywe go to the police.
I alreadywent to the police.
I went to everyone. Nobody’ll listen.
- What we need is proof.
- Proof? How are we gonna get proof?
- I got a plan. A stakeout.
- A stakeout ?
We can stay up in my tree house
and watch the school every night
until something happens.
- Like one ofthem TV cop shows.
- Sure.
The next time those laser guys make
a move, we’ll catch ’em red-handed.
We can take pictures
with my night-vision digital cam.
Then we call in the feds
and, bang, we got ’em.
Onlyoneproblem--
Whataboutcamp ?
Oh, yeah. Ifmy dad finds out
I’ve gone AWOL, he’ll throw me
in the brig till September.
Not to worry. I’ll get Becky to drive
you back to camp in the morning.
Then at night we’ll pickyou up again.
Campers by day, spies by night.
But what ifthe camp counselors
notice we’re not there ?
Leave that to me.
- Call foryou, sir.
- Give me that.
- Captain Brad here.
- Bradley. This is Colonel O’Malley.
- Colonel O’Malley ?
- Your commanding officer !
Oh ! Yes, sir !
Sorry, sir !
Ihearyou’vegotasoldiertherenamed
Griswald. Goodman. One ofthebest.
- H-He is ?
- You heard me ! He’s officer material.
I’ve had my eyes on him
foryears.
Now, pay attention, Bradley. I’ve got
Griswald on special assignment tonight.
- When he gets back to camp,
act like nothing’s happened.
- Yes, sir !
And you’d better start making his bed
and spit-shining his shoes as well.
That’s all for now.
Carry on.
Okay, Spinelli, you’re next.
¯ Someone’s wrestling
My Lord ¯
¯ Kumbayah ¯
¯ Heads are smashing
My Lord ¯
-[Phone Rings]
- ¯ Kumbayah ¯
Speak to me.
- ¯ Bones are cracking, My Lord ¯
- Yeah ? Yeah ?
- I’ll cover foryou, Spinelli,
but it’s gonna costyou.
- ¯ Kumbayah ¯¯
Oh, like, that is such the wrong
color forVince. Put the blue one on.
AshleyA, you totally
know how to accessorize.
[ Boys Snoring ]
[ Whispering, Muttering ]
Infrared night vision,
-to- zoom.
I gotta hand it toyou, Gretch. You can
see the whole school with this thing.
You can make lots ofhandy devices out
ofthe spare parts in a family’s garage.
I once fashioned
a particle accelerator...
out ofa broken hair dryer
and a four-slice toaster oven.
‘‘Tonight, the magical moment
arrived.
We met behind the drive-thru menu
and kissed passionately...
as the sound ofthe deep fat fryer
faded into the night.’’
Man, I wish I had
an older sister.
Laugh ifyou will.
I think it’s beautiful.
Sorry I’m late, guys, but I had to
wait till my mom and dad fell asleep...
before I could sneak out
with... the goodies.
Roast beefand mashed potatoes !
My favorite !
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
- I also managed to swipe this.
- Rocky Road ! My other favorite !
Hey, give me
some ofthat.
Excuse me, but aren’t we supposed
to eat dinner before dessert ?
Good one, Gretch.
You were right, Teej.
This is the life.
Hanging out with friends,
eating ice cream, spying on bad guys.
It’s the ultimate
kid experience.
Too bad these days are numbered.
Yeah, this is probably
the last summer...
we’ll get to do stufflike this.
Kinda whomps, huh ?
Hey, remember that summer
after second grade...
when we went down to the pond
every day to catch minnows ?
Or how about that summerwe all
carved our initials in that tree
in the Wilsons’ backyard ?
And Spinelli
spelled hers wrong.
Hey, I was seven.
And S’s are tricky.
[GusSobbing]
What’s your problem ? This is
the first summeryou’ve lived here.
I know, and I’ll never
have any ofthose memories.
[ Whimpering ]
Know what I’ll never forget ?
That song
T.J.’s sister taught us...
the first summer
after kindergarten.
Oh, yeah.
Backwhen she was nice.
- How’d it go again ?
- [ Inhales Deeply]
[ Adult Baritone ]
¯JohnJacob ¯
¯Jingleheimer Schmidt ¯
¯ His name is my name too ¯
[ All ]
¯Whenever I go out ¯
¯The people always shout ¯
¯There goesJohnJacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt ¯
[ Tempo Quickens ]
¯ Na-Na-Na-Na, Na-Na-Na ¯
¯JohnJacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt ¯
¯ His name
is my name too ¯
¯Whenever I go out
the people always shout ¯
¯There goesJohnJacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt ¯
¯ Na-Na-Na-Na
Na-Na-Na ¯
[ Whispering ]
¯JohnJacobJingleheimer Schmidt ¯
¯ His name
is my name too ¯
¯Whenever I go out ¯
Thepeoplealwaysshout
TheregoesJohnJacob
JingleheimerSchmidt
[Fades]
Na-Na-Na-Na, Na-Na-Na
[ Loud Zapping ]
Well, here we are, sir. But it’s
Just an old principal’s office.
Why is it so important ?
Because, my academically
challenged young friend,
it used to be mine.
: a.m.
Gang back at camp.
I’m goin’ in alone.
[Man]
Man, oh, man.
I’veheardofsimple assignments,
but this one taKes the caKe.
Yuck.
Hey.
: a.m. I found
what appear to be...
Principal Prickly’s golfpants ?
Factis, you’regettin’
realgoodat thisstuff.
Yeah, you’re a regular
Robert De Niro.
Hey, I’m a man
ofmany talents.
- Principal Prickly ?
- But wasn’t Mrs. Prickly suspicious ?
You kiddin’ ? It was like
taking candy from a baby.
[Laughing Continues]
Double-knit polyester.
These are Prickly’s all right.
But whywould the bald guywanna pretend
to be Principal Prickly ?
And where’s the real
Principal Prickly anyway ?
Wait a minute.
There’s something in here.
‘‘Help me ?’’
It sounds like a desperate cry
for help.
- Then Principal Prickly
must still be in the school.
- Being held captive !
You know what that means,
don’tyou, guys ?
We gotta go in there
and save him.
- Bikes ?
- Check.
- Walkie-talkie ?
- Check.
- Rope with pointy thing ?
- Check.
Good. Then let’s go.
I still say this is nuts.
Breaking out ofthe school
I understand, but breaking in ?
Oh, boy !
Ms. Finster’s gonna love this.
[Whistling]
[Groans]
[ Grunting ]
-[DoorbellRings]
- Dang.
Ten more minutes, and the pizza
would’ve been free.
[ Sighs ]
It’s : at night, Randall.
- What doyou want ?
- It’s about T.J. Detweiler.
Randall, I’m offduty until Labor Day.
He’s someone else’s problem now.
But he’s got all his friends
together, and they’re planning
to break into the school !
A break-in, eh ?
Not if Muriel P. Finster
has anything to say about it.
- Told you, Ms. Finster.
- [ Chuckles ]
I wonder ifI can get ’em
tried as adults. Come on.
Hold the rope, boy.
-[Rope CreaKing]
- Uh-oh.
-[Snap]
- Aaaah !
-[Thud]
-[Groans]
[ Muffled ] Ms. Finster,
could you please get offofme ?
[Gretchen]
My, this issomewhatcreepy.
Yeah. I’ve never been
in a empty school at night before.
Heck, I’ll bet no kid has.
I wonderwhere the aliens went.
They probably go back
to the mother ship at night.
Quick. In here.
[Footsteps Passing]
Hey, this is
our old room.
I hope somebody’s
feeding the gerbil.
-[Man TalKing, Echoing]
- Shh ! I hear something !
I want this system worKingnow.
Doyouhearme ? Now!
We’re doingourbest, sir. We’vejust
run intoa fewtechnicaldifficulties.
It’s coming from up there.
- LiKe what ?
- I thinK whatDr. Lazenby
is trying tosay--
Oh, IKnow whathe’s trying
tosay. He’s trying to--
- What areyou doing ?
- Finding out what’s what.
[Men Continue TalKing]
Bingo.
[ Grunting ]
I’m stuck.
[ Continues Grunting ]
Curse these
bodacious hips ofmine.
Randall, run back to my place
and get the butter.
- Doyouhaveanyidea who
you’re talKing to, Laramie ?
- It’s Lazenby--
Thatphoton channeler
isapiece ofequipment,
liKea carburetorinyour car!
You’resupposedtobe
abrilliant thinKer.
DoyouKnow whatbrilliant thinKers
aresupposedto do ?
They’re supposed to think !
Whoa, what is
all this stuff ?
Well, against the farwall is what
looks to be a plutonium turbine.
Closerahead, you’llobserve
aglobalelectrode.
Toyourrightis
thelaserdevice wesawearlier,
andofcourse, thatglowingorb--
an electronpulsegenerator.
- The nerve center ofthe system.
- Shh ! The bad guys are talking.
- But, Dr. Benedict, please--
- No, let me make this
clear toyou, Lazenby.
We have a thing called
a window ofopportunity.
Ifwe miss the window ofopportunity,
then the project fails.
And ifthe project fails,
then I get very,
very... angry !
Th-Theymayhave
apoint, sir.
It seems the logistical problems
are a bit more complicated
than Dr. Steinheimer thought.
Yes, it would be a lot easier
ifwe could move the laser
to a more appropriate location.
This operation will be
executed as planned from right here !
Have I made myselfclear ?
- But, sir--
- No buts !
It started at rd Street.
It is going to end at rd Street.
Dr. Benedict,
we’re ready for the test.
Coming.
[Scientist]
Levelsaregood.
- Ready ?
- I’ve been ready for decades.
-Just do it.
- Yes, sir.
Initiate photon channeling.
Photon channeling initiated.
Set magnification
coordinates . .
Coordinates set.
Engage tractor beam now.
[ Continues Grunting ]
[LoudZapping]
What are those kids
up to in there ?
[ All Gasp ]
A little more.
A little more.
- He’s shooting at the moon.
- I told you theyweren’t aliens.
[ Beam Sputtering ]
-[Turbine WindingDown]
- Dr. Rosenthal,
why did the beam suddenly--
Oh, what’s the technical
word for it ? Stop ?
W-Well, uh, as I believe
you were told before--
‘‘Told before’’ ?
[ Chuckles ]
Doyou think I care what I was told
before ? I’ll do better next time.
‘‘Next time.’’
Isn’t that cute.
Rosenthal,
let me askyou something.
Sayyou were a teacher--
or even better, say,
the principal ofa school--
and you had to deal with a naughty child
who didn’t know his place,
who kept telling you over and over
that he’d do better ‘‘next time.’’
But he never did.
What would you do ?
Oh, no. N-Not detention.
Not detention !
- Take him away !
- No, please ! I can fix it !
Don’t do this to me-e-e !
All right, who’s
second-in-command ?
- Uh, I am, sir.
- Well, good. Nowyou’re in charge.
And ifI wereyou, I’d make sure
I had this machine working at
full power by tomorrow morning.
- Do I make myselfclear ?
- Y-Yes, sir.
Oh, dear,
I got spittle on my lapel.
Mmm.
-[Vince] Wegottagetoutofhere.
- Uh-oh.
- What is it ?
- I got that feeling.
- Hold it in, big guy. Hold it in !
- I can’t !
[ Loud Burp, Echoing ]
What was that ?
Someone had better
say ‘‘excuse me.’’
[ All ]
Whoa !
Fenwick, who let children
into the school ?
U-Uh, n-not me, sir.
- Well, get them !
- Run !
- [ Men Shouting ]
- There they are !
- [ All Gasp ]
- Huh ?
Get offour planet,
alien scum !
[ Groans ]
Over there !
- Get ’em ! Get ’em !
- Come back here !
Huh ? Whoa !
[ Grunts ]
- Hyah !
- Ninjas !
- Hyah !
- Get ’em !
Ninjas ! Why’d they
have to be ninjas ?
[ All Shouting ]
This way ! Hurry !
- Go ! Go ! Let’s go ! Hurry up !
- Go ! Go ! Hurry up !
- Nowyou !
- But, Teej--
- Go !
- Haaah !
- [ Gasps ]
Saveyourselves !
- T.J. ! T.J. !
- It won’t budge !
[ Shouting Continues ]
[ Grunts ]
What theJ.P. Morgan
is going on around here ?
Let me go.
Let me go !
I’m warning you !
I’m a black belt in origami !
Well, well, well,
ifitain’t thelittlesnoop.
- What ? I ain’t no snoop.
- [ Tape Rewinding ]
[ T.J. On Tape ] : a.m.
Ugly bald guy still guarding school.
Heh-heh. Oops.
Let’s go, snoop.
You’re in big trouble now.
Ow ! Ow ! Watch thejacket !
It’s cotton !
[MuffledShouting]
Principal Prickly !
You’re alive !
- Oww ! Would you be careful !
- Boy, am I glad to seeyou.
You won’t believe what these
guys are doing. They’ve got
this big laser gun and--
- Whoa, who tookyour pants ?
- Never mind, Detweiler.Just untie me.
- These knots are tight.
- Ofcourse.
I’ve been pulling at them
for the last day and a half.
They’ve chaffed mywrist.
- Don’t worry, sir.
My pals’ll get us out ofhere.
- What makes you so sure ?
You don’t know my friends.
They’ll get help. You’ll see.
Soyou’re saying youjust escaped
from a troop ofninja warriors ?
- That’s right !
- And they got a giant laser gun
in the school auditorium ?
- Precisely !
- Which is aimed at the moon ?
Thank heavens you understand !
[ Grunts ]
I’ve almost got it.
Careful, Detweiler.
That’s my putting hand.
[DoorLocK UnlocKing]
Hello, Pete.
Remember me ?
Well, well, ifit isn’t
Phillium Benedict.
- I should’ve known
you’d be the one behind this.
- You know this guy ?
Ah, Pete and I
are old pals.
Although the last time
we saw each other, Pete
was the one ruining my life.
By the way, Pete, you like this suit ?
It’s Italian. Raw silk. Nice, huh ?
You always were more concerned
about appearances than people, Phil.
Oh, Pete, come on.
There’s no need to be rude.
Not after I instructed my men
to take such special care ofyou.
Special care ?
That’s whatyou call gagging me,
tying me up and taking away my pants ?
Had to. Otherwise, you might run offand
betray me, likeyou did the last time.
But, hey,
look at the bright side.
At leastyou’ve got company now.
Let the boy go.
He can’t do anything toyou.
[ Sighs ]
Same old noble Pete.
- Always standing up
for the rights ofchildren.
- You ?
But, unfortunately,
I can’t let anybody go right now.
You see, this experimental, um,
night school that I’m running
is kind ofa secret.
I’m trying to show that my...
[ Chuckles ] adult students
can be trained...
to be capable and productive
members ofsociety.
Well, ifyou’rejust
running a night school,
then what’s that giant laser gun
doing in the auditorium ?
What a rude and badly dressed
little boyyou are.
You should teach your pupils a little
respect for their superiors, Pete.
But that would mean thatyou’d
have to know how to teach them
anything at all, wouldn’t it ?
Geez, how doyou
know thatjerk ?
We went through
teacher training together.
- You mean--
- That’s right, Detweiler.
That man is a rogue teacher.
[PricKly]
It wasbacK in thespringof’ .
A differentage.
We wereallyoung, idealistic
andreadyto change the world.
[ Chattering ]
[RocK]
Oh ! Ha ha ha.
Peace, Peter.
Hey, Muriel, had a groovy time
at the Dead concert last night.
You gonna be at the teach-in Saturday ?
We’re gonna paint myVolkswagen.
- Wouldn’t miss it for the world.
- Groovy.
Yes, weall thought
we wereprettycool.
- Butoneguy was the coolestofusall.
-[VehicleApproaching]
Phillium Benedict
was mybestfriend.
He wassmart,
he washandsome.
Hehadjustbeennamedprincipal
of rdStreetSchool.
[ All Giggling ]
So, Phillium, how’s it feel
being theyoungest principal
in the history ofthe state ?
Copacetic, baby.
I mean, you know what they say:
Young is in, man, and old is out.
Way out.
Doyou like the American flag
helmet, Pete ? It does go
with the leatherjacket, right ?
You are one groovy educator, Phil.
Cool. Follow me, my man.
I wanna showyou
my new principal’s pad.
Whoa !
Psychedelic principalia.
Pull up a bag, bro.
I wanna rap.
- Lay it on me, man.
- You see, Pete, I been thinkin’.
We’re a new generation
ofteachers, right ?
It’s time we shook things up
a little.
I hearyou, brother.
In fact, dig this.
I was meditating to that new
Ravi Shankar album last night...
when I got
this righteous notion--
What ifwe hold all our classes outside,
on the playground ?
Imagine-- school, recess.
No boundaries.
Hey, baby, that’s a hip idea,
but I got a better thought here.
As my first official act
as principal,
I’ve decided...
to get rid ofrecess.
What ? No recess ?
But, Phil, for a kid,
recess is like a major play-in.
It’s the one time ofday
they have any freedom.
[ Sighs ]
Look, Pete,
the ’ s are over.
All that peace and love
and freedom stuff, it was great
for pickin’ up chicks,
but it’s not gonna
help my career.
To do that, I gotta
make test scores go up,
and to make test scores go up, I gotta
keep kids in class where they belong.
That’s why, starting tomorrow,
I am tuning out recess...
once and for all.
[PricKly]
Needless tosay,
Phillium ’splan
didn’tgo overall that well.
[ Shouting ]
- [ Protester] What do we want ?
- [ Crowd ] Recess !
- When do we want it ?
- Now !
- What do we want ? When do we want it ?
- Recess ! Now !
Be cool, people, be cool.
You’re bumming my mellowness.
We’ll be cool when you give our kids
their recess back.
Hey, baby,
I’ll do what I want.
I’m principal ofthe school, and there’s
nothing anyone can do about it. Dig ?
[ Shouting Continues ]
[Man]
It’snotright!
- People, people, please calm down.
- [ Shouting Stops ]
Mr. Prickly here has informed me
ofthis ‘‘no recess’’ proposal.
Let me assureyou that
as long as I’m superintendent,
this radical plan will never
be carried out in this district.
- [ Cheering ]
- Hey, man, youjust don’t get it !
Ofcourse I do, Benedict.
- That’s why I’m replacing you.
- What ?
- Prickly, from now on,
you will be principal.
- Who, me ?
Oh, I see what’s going down here.
You tricked me, went around my back
to the man to get myjob !
- No, Phil, it’s not like that at all.
- Yeah, right !
Come on, Muriel baby,
let’s blow this scene.
No, Phil, it’s over. I could never
be with a man who doesn’t love recess.
Soyou’re against me too.
Well, fine. I don’t need you.
I don’t need anyone !
- Aaah !
- Phil ! You okay, man ?
Don’t touch me !
You took my chick.
You took myjob.
Well, enjoy it whileyou can,
Petey boy,
’causeyou’re gonna pay.
Somehow, someway,
you’re gonna pay.
IneversawPhillium again.
He quit teaching,
went into politics,
eventually became
secretary ofeducation--
until the president fired him for
trying to get rid ofrecess again.
Only this time
it was nationwide.
So that guy’s some weirdo ex-teacher
who wants to get rid ofrecess ?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Now it’s personal.
Let’s see-- weather maps,
some stuffin Norwegian,
a Farmer’sAlmanac.
Must be something in here that’ll
explain what that Dr. Benedict is doing.
I’ll tell you one thing
he’s not doing--
having lunch tomorrow at :
with his little girlfriend.
Spinelli, that’s the man’s
personal date book.
Well, it’s mine now,
and I guess Miss Luna Pergum is gonna
be at the restaurant all by herself.
- Who did you say ?
- The girl whose name
is in here-- Luna Pergum.
Must be some Italian chick.
Lunaeperigeum.
Ofcourse !
- What areyou talking about ?
- Don’tyou understand ?
Lunaeperigeum is no lady.
It’s an event. Look.
Once a month, the moon reaches the point
where it’s closest to the Earth--
lunar perigee, which in this case
happens to be : tomorrow afternoon.
Maybe that’s when that doctor
guy is gonna shoot his laser
at the moon and blow it up.
Close guess,
but I have another theory.
When I was up at space camp,
I observed some abnormalities
in the moon’s position.
I couldn’t figure out what was
causing it, but now it all makes sense.
Dr. Benedict’s device is not a
laser beam at all. It’s a tractor beam !
You mean he’s gonna plow the moon’s
surface ? Whateverwill he plant ?
Not a tractor, you goombah.
A tractor beam.
Like from
a science fiction movie.
Precisely.
Theoretically,
ifa powerful tractor beam...
were shot at the moon
exactly at lunar perigee,
it could move the moon
into another orbit.
Move the moon ? But why
would anybodywant to do that ?
Who knows, Vince ?
Who knows ?
[Banging On Metal]
Here we are, sir.
I can’t believeyou have been
creeping around in these vents.
They’re school property.
Dang ! The line’s dead.
Hey, what did you do
with the walkie-talkie
you confiscated from me last week ?
Top drawer, on the right.
Just lookwhat Phil’s done to my office.
I had it all nice and clean
for the summer.
Packs ofgum, yo-yos,
my old baseball--
Hey, I’ve been looking
for this.
Here it is--
mywalkie-talkie.
Now all I gotta do is
contact the guys and--
- Oh, no.
- What is it, Detweiler ?
I told ’em
that guywas a nut.
[ T.J. ] Hello !
Hello ! Is anybody there ?
It’s T.J. !
T.J., buddy, you’re okay ?
- Yeah, I’m fine,
and so is Principal Prickly.
- Principal Prickly ?
I don’t have time to explain,
but I thinkwe’ve figured out
what Benedict is up to.
He’s trying to get rid
ofsummervacation !
No !
Guys, don’t freak out on me !
I got a plan ! All we do is--
Heh-heh. Why, Mr. Bald Guy,
what a surprise.
T.J. ! T.J. !
- It’s dead !
- They must’ve got him !
What are we gonna do ?
There’s only
one thing we can do:
we gotta get help.
[ Becky] Bow-wow ! Welcome to Floppy
Burger. May I takeyour order, please ?
- Becky, this is Vince.
- [ Becky] What areyou doing here ?
It’s notjust Vince, it’s me,
Gretchen, everybody. We got a problem !
I got a problem too-- six dweeby
ten-year-olds who won’t leave me
alone, even when I’m at work.
I am a professional ! So whatever
your little problem is, forget it !
- But it’s about T.J .
- He’s in trouble,
and he needs your help.
[ Becky ]
Well, isn’t that nice ?
After stealing my diary, threatening
to put it on the Internet...
and making me drive across the
state three times, he needs my help ?
Give me one good reason
why I should help him.
’Cause he’s your little brother,
and he needs you.
Please pull forward to
the second drive-thru window.
A confiscated
walkie-talkie.
Why doyou do these things ? Doyou
enjoy tormenting me ? Doyou hate me ?
I don’t hateyou, Phil.
I just thinkyou’re insane.
[ Chuckles ]
Insane.
Well, thereyou go again, Pete.
Insulting me, hurting my feelings,
Just like years ago.
Only this time, Petey,
I’m ready.
You see, all thoseyears, no matter
how big I got, no matter how successful,
I always thought aboutyou.
Howyou embarrassed me !
Howyou humiliated me !
Howyou destroyed my relationship
with Muriel Finster,
the onlywoman I ever loved !
- That part still grosses me out, sir.
- Shh.
This time, Pete,
I’m gonna humiliateyou.
I’m gonna prove to the world
thatyou were wrong and I was right.
- About what ?
- About recess !
About freedom !
About test scores !
I’ve found a way
to prove my theory.
I’m gonna get rid of
the biggest recess ofthem all.
I am gonna get rid
ofsummervacation.
- You fiend !
- ‘‘Fiend.’’ Try to help people,
that’s the thanks you get.
- It’ll neverwork, Phil.
- Well, actually, Pete,
that’s whereyou’re wrong.
You see, all I have to do is modify
the moon’s orbit ever so slightly,
and tide levels on the Eastern Seaboard
rise eight feet.
Move the moon over here,
and the currents that warm California
suddenly become ice-cold.
Summer, as we know it,
will become a thing ofthe past.
And without summer,
- [ Both Gasp ]
- no summervacation.
- You’ll never get away
with this, Benedict.
- Oh, yeah ?
Well, who’s gonna stop me ?
Wow, I can’t believe
my little brother...
actually stumbled on
a real, live evil conspiracy.
- That’s ourTheodore.
- You should see the crates
ofsoda they left back there.
And boxes ofmustard
and ketchup too.
Mmm, tomato-ey.
Hey, that’s stuffs the property of
Floppy Burger International.
Quityour gabbin’ and step on it.
We need reinforcements.
[Cheering, Shouting]
[Cheering, Shouting]
[Finster] I’m tellingyou,
a troop ofninja warriors...
is using rdStreetSchoolas
asecretjujitsu trainingground.
- Ninja warriors. Elementary school.
- [ Snickering ]
Jujitsu training ground ?
Hey, lady, aren’tyou forgetting
the magic laser beam ?
- I’m serious !
- So are we.
Hey, I got an idea-- Why don’tyou
go home, get some rest...
and we’ll make a personal call
toJackie Chan.
Yeah, he’s the perfect man
for ajob like this.
I’m telling ya, something is
going on in that school !
Help ! Help !
Somebody get us outta here !
- Calm down, Detweiler.
- Calm down ?
We’re locked in a giant birdcage
while a madman’s trying to
destroy summervacation,
and you want me
to calm down ?
- I understand, but I--
- How can you understand ?
You’rejust a grownup.
What doyou know
about summervacation ?
I’ll letyou in on
a little secret, Detweiler.
Every adultyou’ve ever known
was a kid some time in his life.
You thinkwe don’t
remember summervacation ?
Riding bikes by the creek ?
Catching polliwogs in ajar ?
Camping out under the stars ?
Well, you’re wrong.
Some days I sit in my office, looking
out atyou kids on the playground,
and I think, ‘‘They don’t know
how good they’ve got it.
In a fewyears, they’re all
going to be grownups, like me,
and all those good times will
Just be memories for them too.’’
So go ahead, put a whoopee cushion in my
chair, cover my carpet with fake vomit,
make fun of
my big, saggy butt.
But don’tyou ever say I don’t care
about summervacation,
’cause those memories are the last
part ofchildhood I’ve got left.
Principal Prickly,
I had no idea.
Yeah, well, nowyou do.
- So let’s stop messing around.
- How did you get those keys ?
Swiped ’em off Phillium’s desk
when he wasn’t looking.
Now come on.
We’ve got a summervacation to save.
[ All Chattering ]
People ! People !
Just quiet down for a moment !
Oh, man, nobody’s listening.
They’ll listen to me, once I introduce
them to my good friend Madam Fist.
Come on, Spinelli.
That’s your answer for everything.
I don’t seeyou coming up
with any great ideas, sports boy.
Listen to the two ofyou.
You’re not helping at all.
[ All Arguing ]
[Gus]
Quiet!
What we need is a leader.
A kid with
the right training.
A kid who knows strategy
and field tactics.
A kid who commands respect.
Yeah, but where we gonna
find a kid like that ?
Leave that to me.
- [ Chattering Continues ]
-[Gretchen Whistles]
Please !
We have to get organized.
Ah, what’s the use ?
Ifwhatyou say is true,
all the fun ofbeing a kid
is, like, totally ruined anyway.
- It’s like the whole world’s
been turned right side up.
- [ All Agreeing ]
Not necessarily. All we have to do is
work together and come up with a plan.
- Detweiler’s the one who always
comes up with the plans.
- Let’s face it-- we’re doomed.
- [ All Agreeing ]
-[Spinelli] That’s what you thinK!
Kids ofthe playground, meet
your new commanding officer.
Griswald ? He couldn’t
lead a glee club.
You find that funny,
Bradley ?
Well, I’m not here to makejokes !
I’m here to make history !
So ifyou wanna laugh,
take it somewhere else.
But ifyou wanna save the world, then
suck in your gut and stand at attention.
Now who’s with me ?
[Kazoos Playing
‘‘RiverKwaiMarch’’]
[ Screams ]
Soda bomb ! Soda bomb !
[Gus] Vince, youandtheAshleys
willbein charge ofunit ‘A. ’’
I’ll take unit ‘‘B.’’
Spinelli, you get the special forces.
- Special forces ?
- The kindergartners.
- I oweyou for this, Griswald.
- Now there’s one last thing
I need to say.
- [ Talking Ceases ]
- This mission is bigger than
any one ofus kids.
Bigger than T.J .
Even bigger than Principal Prickly.
This, my friends,
is about the future.
- Geez, he sounds like T.J .
- Shh. He’s on a roll.
Years from now when kids who aren’t
even born yet look back on this moment,
they’ll say,
‘‘They did it.
Those kids saved
rd Street School.
They saved summervacation.’’
So, boys and girls,
we’re goin’ in.
- Twenty-two minutes to perigee, sir.
- Very good, Fenwick.
[Men Chattering Indistinctly]
- Hello, boys.
- Hey !
[Men Groaning]
[Punches Landing]
- Where now ?
- The auditorium.
Check.
[ Inhales ]
Nessun dorma
[ All ]
Huh ?
Nessun dorma
[Man]
Is thataKid ?
- ¯ Ma il mio mistero e chiuso in me ¯
- Hey, kid, get out ofhere !
Aah. Anderson, get rid
ofthat kid, will ya ?
Ilnomemio
nessunsapra
-[AndersonScreaming]
-No, no
- Smithson, Underhill.
- Sir.
Sulla tuaboca
-[MenScreaming]
-Lo diro
- ¯ Quando la luce ¯¯
- Hanklin, Morrissey,
Goodman, get over here !
- Yes, sir.
- Right away, sir. On the double.
We’ll take care ofhim.
Don’t worry about it.
You sure this is
gonna work, Detweiler ?
Come on, Principal Prickly.
Don’tyou everwatch old spy movies ?
This trick is pure gold.
Uh, Dr. Benedict wanted to speak to
us about a very important matter.
Hey, you two
aren’t guards.
Run !
¯ I’m called little buttercup ¯
Anderson, Morrissey, Underhill ?
Where is everybody ?
Aah, ifyou want something
done right, you gotta do ityourself.
- ¯ Poor little buttercup ¯
- [ Screams ]
- ¯ Sweet little buttercup, I ¯¯
- [ All Shouting ]
Boy, these space-age
power shovels sure do a greatjob.
Quick, in here.
This way !
They’re inside.
We lost ’em.
Now what ?
Ammo.
[ Both ]
Tender.
Commence phase two.
Ready ?
- Hey, guards !
- Huh ?
[ Grunting ]
You little brats !
Now !
- Intruders !
- [ Shouting ]
[ All Screaming ]
Scandalous !
[ Shouting Indistinctly]
- Now !
- Huh ?
Bombard, men !
- Get ’em.
- [ All Shouting ]
[ Screaming ]
‘‘Lunch room, front office--’’
Here it is, ‘‘auditorium.’’
[ Loud Hum Resonating ]
Uh, Fenwick,
why is the power off ?
Uh, perhaps
we blew a fuse, sir ?
Well, go fix it !
We must restore the power.
Quickly, here.
Hey, whathappened?
Letus out!
Plan’s working, Gus.
Good. Now we gotta stop that
laser beam before it’s too late.
That’s whatyou thinK, Kid.
Youbratsare done for.
[TJ. ]
Hey, baldy!
Sayyour prayers.
It’s chowder time.
[ Screaming ]
- Bull’s-eye !
- T.J. !
I knewyou guys would
come back for us.
- Ooh, that’s gotta hurt.
- Six minutes to perigee !
Quick. To the auditorium.
And no running in the halls !
Emergency power system
is in place.
Switch on the global electrode.
Power up the photon channeler.
Activate the tractor beam, quickly !
We’ve only got four minutes left.
[PricKly]
You’vegotnominutes left, Phil.
This is my school
and I want it back.
Sorry, Pete. You’rejust gonna
have to wait until I finish
making the world a better place.
- Now let’s get this show on the road.
- Don’t do it, Dr. Benedict !
[ Chuckles ] Don’t do it ?
You think after all this planning,
all this work, you can get me to
stopjust by saying, ‘‘Don’t do it’’ ?
- What ifwe add ‘‘please’’ ?
- [ Sighs ] You kids
Just don’t get it, doyou ?
Well, let me explain this
in a wayyour little uneducated
brains will understand.
The American public think
test scores are too low.
But ifa person, say me,
could make test scores go up,
why, everybody’d feel better.
They might even elect that person...
President ofthe United States.
Now, doyou have any idea which
countries have the highest test scores ?
- Um,Japan ?
- Germany ?
- Tierra Del Fuego ?
Canada, Iceland, Norway !
And why ? Because it’s snowing
up there all the time.
Kids don’t waste their summers playing
ball. They’re inside studying.
And that is why I’m getting
rid ofsummervacation once and for all.
You got it all wrong, old man.
Your plan will neverwork.
Sure, maybeyour crazy
laser beam can move the moon.
Maybe it can even make it
snow all summer.
Maybeyou can get rid
oflong afternoons playing baseball,
or sunny days down by the lake orwarm
nights camping out under the stars.
But that won’t stop us.
We’ll ride our bikes through the snow.
We’ll play kick ball in the slush,
we’ll camp out in igloos.
You may take away summer, butyou’ll
never take away summervacation.
Well, I can try.
Do it... now !
Yes, sir.
Begin photon channeling.
Photon channeling begun.
Setmagnification
coordinates. .
- Coordinates set.
- Engage tractor beam.
- No !
- [LoudBang]
Hey, teacher,
leave them kids alone !
- Ms. Finster.
- Muriel, it’s you.
You’re still a vision
ofloveliness.
Yeah ?Andyou’restilla two-bit,
recess-hatingprettyboy.
That hurt, Muriel. But I’ll forgiveyou
ifyou’ll just come back to me.
Ha ! I’d rather eat
playground dirt.
That can be arranged,
my dear.
Not before I takeyou down.
Take me down ? Yeah, right.
You and what army ?
Me and this army.
The teachers !
[ Shouting ]
[ Karate Shouts ]
Get them !
No, no, no, no
no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no
no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no
no, no, no, no
-No, no, no, no, Nobody can do the
-Shimmy
-LiKe Ido, Nobody can do the
-ShaKe
-LiKe Ido, Nobody can do the
-Boogaloo
-LiKe Ido, Nobody can do the
-Shimmy
[Continues]
[ Screaming ]
Fire !
-Letme tellyou, Nobody
-Nobody
-Nobody
-Nobody
-Nobody
-Nobody
- [ Gasps ]
- Drink soda, ninjas !
Halt !
Flying press !
- Nice flying press, Spinelli.
- Thanks. I’ve been working on it.
No, no, no, no
no, no, no, no
You !
[Ms. Finster]
Stop right there, KojaK.
It’s go time.
-Nobody can do the
-ShaKe
-LiKe Ido, Nobody can do the
-Boogaloo
- Thanks, Ms. Finster.
-Just doing myjob, Detweiler.
Hurry !
There’s still time.
Faster, you idiot !
Faster !
Holditright there, Phillium.
Thesemester’s overforyou, pal.
Not so fast, Pete. You might fall asleep
and miss the festivities.
- Hey, Phillium,
there’s a spot on your tie.
- Where ?
[NinjaScreams]
- It’sjammed.
- You’re too late, Pete.
This time I win.
Vince !
The photon channeler.
And forget what they told you.
Aim it. Don’t throw it.
- Look out ! She’s gonna blow !
- [ All Screaming ]
All my plans,
my hopes and dreams...
ruined.
Ruined !
Getyour hands offthe suit,
you classless feeb !
I am the former
secretary ofeducation.
Yeah, yeah. And I’m the former
princess of Morocco. Get in the car.
B-B-But it’s all his fault.
I was only following orders.
I’ll turn state’s evidence.
Geez, what a squealer.
Come on, Grotke. I’ll takeyou on.
My boxing againstyour martial arts.
East meets West.
We’ll see who wins.
I don’t know, Muriel. I’m only supposed
to use it for self-defense.
What an exciting summer.
T.J. saved the world...
and Becky made assistant
fry chefat Floppy Burger.
Come on, Ellie. The reporters wanna
talk to us about how we raised a hero.
Listen, Becky, I heard about howyou
saved my life and everything, and...
- well, here, I think this is yours.
- My diary ?
I can’t believe it. You realize
this means you don’t have
any leverage over me anymore ?
Hey, what can I say ?
Maybe I’m just growing up.
Gee, you’re an all-right
little brother after all.
But, Teej, what about the
extra copies you got stashed
away up in the tree house ?
Oh, I wasjust bluffing
about those.
So, Teej, we got two weeks
ofsummervacation left.
What doyou saywe do ’em up right ?
But don’tyou guys have to get back
to camp, work on your futures and all ?
Well, we’ve been thinkin’.
And we’ve decided there’s plenty
oftime for preparing for our futures.
But only a little time left
forjust being kids.
So, what doyou saywe head down
to the pond and skip some rocks ?
You guys gotyourselves a deal.
Oh, boy ! My first
summervacation memories.
Uh, guys.
- I’ll catch up with you.
I forgot something inside.
- Okay, but hurry.
- Principal Prickly ?
- Huh ?
Oh, it’s you, Detweiler.
I wasjust, um, cleaning up this mess
Phillium left.
Guyalways wasapacK rat.
Look at this. A Norwegian
weather map from .
Listen, sir, I never really got a chance
to thankyou for all the stuffyou did.
You know, quitting your golfgame,
telling Benedict to let me go,
helping me save the world
andjunk.
Oh, actually, Detweiler,
I’m the one who should be thanking you.
- Huh ?
- You did me a big favor
by dragging me into this mess.
See, I didn’t get into teaching for
the promotions or the pension plans...
or so I could get
to the golfcourse by : .
I-- I... did it ’cause I wanted to
helpyou kids. And I’d forgotten that.
- Till today.
- [KnocKing On Window]
- Come on, Teej.
- The pond awaits.
- I’ll be there in a second.
- Hey, it’s a gorgeous summer day
and your pals are waiting.
Go have some fun
whileyou can... Teej.
You got it... Pete.
[RocK ’n’Roll]
But don’t forget !
Come September, you’re mine.
I haven’t forgotten
that ‘‘saggy butt’’ comment.
Hey, September is
a long way off.
Let thesunshine
Let thesunshinein
Thesunshinein
-Let thesunshine
- Whoa, letitshine
-Let thesunshinein
- Come on
- Thesunshinein
-Everybodyjustsingalong
-Let thesunshine
-Let thesunshinein
-Let thesunshinein
- Open upyourheart
andletinshinein
- Thesunshinein
- Whenyou’realone
Let thesunshine
[TJ. ]
One, two, three, four.
¯ Dropyour silver
in my tambourine ¯
¯ Help a poor man
build a pretty dream ¯
¯ Give me pennies
I’ll take anything ¯
¯ Now listen while I play¯
[ Echoing ]
¯ My green tambourine ¯
Watch thejinglejangle
start toshine
Reflections ofthemusic
thatismine
Whenyou tossa coin
you’llhearitsing
¯ Now listen while I play¯
[ Echoing ]
¯ My green tambourine ¯
Dropa dime
before I walKaway
Anysongyou want
I’llgladlyplay
¯ Money feeds
my music machine ¯
¯ Now listen while I play¯
[ Echoing ]
¯ My green tambourine ¯
ListenandI’llplay
[Echoing]
Mygreen tambourine
ListenandI’llplay
[Echoing]
Oh, yeah
Mygreen tambourine
I’llplay
mygreen tambourine
Ifyoulisten
I willplay
Mygreen tambourine
[Woman Vocalizing]
Callingoutaroundthe world
Areyouready
forabrand-newbeat
Thesummer’snear
andthe timeis right
Fordancing in thestreet
-Dancing in Chicago
-Dancing in thestreet
-Down in NewOrleans
-Dancing in thestreet
-In New YorK City
-Dancing in thestreet
All weneedismusic
Sweetmusic
There’llbemusiceverywhere
There’llbeswinging
andswaying
Andrecordsplaying
Dancing in thestreet
Oh, itdoesn’tmatter
whatyou wear
Justas long
asyouare there
So, come on
Everyboygrabagirl
Everywherearoundthe world
There’llbe dancing
We’re dancing in thestreet
Isaid
we’llbe dancing
- Whoo!
-Dancing in thestreet
We’re dancing in thestreet
This isaninvitation
across thenation
A chance forKids tomeet
- They’llbelaughingandsinging
-Laughing, singing
Andmusicswinging
We’re dancing in thestreet
-Philadelphia, P.A.
-Dancing in thestreet
-BaltimoreandD. C. now
-Dancing in thestreet
- Can’tforget the MotorCity
-Beep-beep, beep-beep Whoo!
All weneedismusic
Oh, music
There’llbemusiceverywhere
There’llbeswinging
andswaying
Andrecordsplaying
Dancing in thestreet
Oh, itdoesn’tmatter
whatyou wear
Justas long
asyouare there
Come on
everyboygrabagirl
Everywherearoundthe world
There’llbe dancing
Allaroundthe world
Everyboyandgirl
Dancing in thestreet
-Fromyourneighborhood
down to Hollywood
-Dancing in thestreet
-Dancing in thestreet
-Dancing in thestreet
We’re dancing in thestreet
We’re dancing in thestreet
We’re dancing in thestreet
We’re dancing in thestreet