Rock School Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Rock School script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the documentary movie about the real school of rock.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Rock School. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

Swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards for more free movie scripts!

Rock School Script


   

                   

Three, four.



 

                   

'Kay, this little dude here is

gonna rock your ass tonight.!



 

                   

Swear to God.



 

                   

The other guys are gonna

rock your asses too.



 

                   

It's a good one. It's a good one.



 

                   

I only got angry six times

during nine weeks of rehearsals.



 

                   

That's gotta mean somethin', all right?

Thank you guys for comin' tonight.



 

                   

You guys ready to rock tonight?



 

                   

I'm gonna ask for one more big hand,

'cause these kids worked really hard.



  

                   

You guys can set off the whole thing

tonight. One more big hand. Come on.



  

                   

Ladies and gentlemen,

our tribute to the guitar gods.



  

                   

Five, six, five, six, seven, eight.



  

                   

Hey, did you guys ever see my

Silence of the Lambs impression?



  

                   

- Yes.

- Oh, God.



  

                   

Who's here saw

Silence of the Lambs?



  

                   

- Yes.

- That's the best movie of all time.



  

                   

He does.

He spits, though.



  

                   

If you don't want spit on you,

I'd suggest you move.



  

                   

Okay. Very good. Very good.



  

                   

Guys, you gotta watch this.



  

                   

Come on. Stop!



  

                   

Put the lotion in the basket!



  

                   

It puts the lotion in the basket,

or it gets the hose!



  

                   

It puts the lotion in the basket,

or it gets the hose!



  

                   

Put the fuckin' lotion in the basket!



  

                   

Thank you.



  

                   

I'm qualified to teach-

I'm probably not qualified to teach.



  

                   

But I have people on staff

with music degrees, for those parents-



  

                   

I'm self-quali-

I mean, I'm a really good teacher.



  

                   

I just say that 'cause I am.



  

                   

I mean, I just-

It comes naturally to me.



  

                   

And I've honed my craft

over the years.



  

                   

You know- Some people can just play.

I can just teach.



  

                   

And I'll teach all day.

I'll teach you somethin' right now.



  

                   

Okay? I'll teach you

how to take a punch.



  

                   

It started out with just    kids

coming over to my apartment every week.



  

                   

I thought they gettin' real good.



  

                   

I had a practice space

when I was with my band.



  

                   

So I said, "Okay, kids,

let's get together on Saturday and jam."



  

                   

And we did, and the kids were awful.



  

                   

All those scales and chords and songs

they learned were useless.



  

                   

I'm a stubborn son of a bitch.



  

                   

So I said, "Okay, we're gettin' together

every Saturday until you guys get this."



  

                   

Then it was only three

or four Saturdays later...



  

                   

where the kids I was bringin' to the thing

were so much better.



  

                   

All the strings-



  

                   

Big ideas I was able to express in

concrete terms that kids could understand.



  

                   

So- And I loved it.



  

                   

It wasn'tjust like,

"Since my band didn't make it...



  

                   

I'll teach guitar,

and I'll be all bitter."



  

                   

I was like, you know, "This is cool.

And I don't have to carry equipment."



  

                   

It was only a matter of time from there

that a friend of mine...



  

                   

who had heard us jamming

and working on things said...



  

                   

"Why don't you guys play

at my art opening?"



  

                   

Let's do it!



  

                   

And the kids were amazing.

There were, like,     people there.



  

                   

There was, like, glass windows outside,

and people were six deep outside.



  

                   

At that point, I was like,

"Okay, this is somethin' here."



  

                   

- Tucker, just do it.

- Okay, fine.



  

                   

I wanna be a musician

when I grow up...



  

                   

because I wanna go on tour.



  

                   

And that's the reason why

I wanna be a musician.



  

                   

I want-Wait.

What was the question you asked?



  

                   

I wanna be a musician

when I grow up so I can-



  

                   

so I can, like, go to concerts...



  

                   

- Hello.

- Get free tickets to go to places.



  

                   

- Hello.

- And things like that.



  

                   

AC/DC's really simple.



  

                   

And all you do is-

One and two and three and four.



  

                   

One and two and three and four.



  

                   

Collins twins. You know,

I think they- They go to school.



  

                   

I think it's hard for them

to practice a lot on their own.



  

                   

But they don't- I'm not sayin'-

They're nine-year-olds.



  

                   

They need to work

a little more on music.



  

                   

One thing I don't really like is people

appreciating the novelty of playing music.



  

                   

So, even if you're nine-



  

                   

I mean, that's the whole point

of what we do here is not...



  

                   

"Come look at kids play music."



  

                   

It's, "Come and look at kids

play music well. "



  

                   

I learned a long time ago...



  

                   

if you don't tell a kid what

they can't do, they may never find out.



  

                   

I'm not gonna cut them short

and say...



  

                   

"You're nine. Let's put you on stage

and not turn your volume up."



  

                   

You know. Who knows?

Maybe Tucker can play drums.



  

                   

And maybe all it takes

is someone believing in them...



  

                   

in a way where it's, like,

all you gotta do is practice.



  

                   

You know, C.J. Makes it hard

for everybody else.



  

                   

C.J.'s    and look how good he is.



  

                   

I'm gonna be in a band.

I'm gonna be writin' songs.



  

                   

Yeah, I'm gonna sell millions.



  

                   

Stuff, hopefully.



  

                   

We tried baseball,

and I think he tried soft- soccer?



  

                   

- Uh-huh.

- Soccer.



  

                   

And martial arts,

and that's really not his thing.



  

                   

For him, I mean, the guitar is it.



  

                   

When he started playing guitar,

I asked him what he wanted to be.



  

                   

He said, "I wanna be a rock star."



  

                   

At the time,

he was good enough.



  

                   

I didn't see any reason why, you know,

I would discourage him from doing that.



   

                   

C.J. Is gonna make us all

a lot of money.



   

                   

Couldn't ask for more in a kid.



   

                   

Soft-spoken, kind, smart,

hardworking, talented.



   

                   

Not only does he have the talent...



   

                   

but I've never seen focus

in somebody that age.



   

                   

Pretty much after every performance,

I could say I try-



   

                   

I wanna do better than that,

even though that was good.



   

                   

I want to strive to be perfect.



   

                   

Yeah, I'm kind of a perfection-

perfectionist.



   

                   

Whenever I do coffeehouses

and stufflike that...



   

                   

I play, like, Sheryl Crow

and all the folky stuff...



   

                   

then stuff that I wrote,

which is not always rock.



   

                   

Because, my voice, actually,

kind of shines with folky things.



   

                   

You know, like Sheryl Crow

and the Dixie Chicks.



   

                   

Madi's a pain in my ass, okay?



   

                   

Madi has all the support- I don't think

that girl was told no once in her life.



   

                   

Madi's a girl who came to me...



   

                   

and she walked right in,

in front of a room full of people...



   

                   

picked up an acoustic guitar

and sang a Sheryl Crow song.



   

                   

And I was amazed that a teenage girl

would have the courage...



   

                   

to sing a Sheryl Crow song.



   

                   

I gasped that she would sing a Sheryl

Crow song. You know what I mean?



   

                   

If I had to bet on the five kids

who were gonna make it...



   

                   

in some way I'd say Madi's one.



   

                   

She's confident.

She's, you know, she has a good look.



   

                   

She-A little dated, but it works.



   

                   

She can play guitar.

She can sing.



   

                   

She could probably make it

without my help.



   

                   

My concern is, is she gonna

make it as, you know,. Jewel?



   

                   

Or is she gonna make it

as. Joni Mitchell...



   

                   

who could fuckin'play guitar?

I'll tell you what.



   

                   

I'm William H. O'Connor.



   

                   

I was born Caesarean birth.



   

                   

My head was too big to come out

of my mother's uterus...



   

                   

and the umbilical cord

was wrapped around my neck.



   

                   

I have received, I think,

brain damage from that, they think.



   

                   

And from one to three,

I had to wear a neck brace...



   

                   

because my head was too big.



   

                   

And I had to sleep standing-

sitting up like the Elephant Man.



   

                   

Otherwise, blood would rush

to my head and I would die.



   

                   

I was misdiagnosed as retarded



   

                   

and entered the sixth-

Kindergarten at age seven.



   

                   

Other kids would tease me,

call me stupid and retarded.



   

                   

I had to go to special L.D. Classes

for reading and writing.



   

                   

Up till five, I wasn't

given a chance for anything...



   

                   

and I wasn't allowed

to leave my house.



   

                   

I spent most of my time

with my mother, who has one hand...



   

                   

and she taught me how to draw.



   

                   

And, basically, that's what I do

with my life. I'm an artist.



   

                   

I like to draw.



   

                   

I've attempted suicide a lot-

since very young.



   

                   

I can remember when I was little...



   

                   

wrapping the extension cord

of the vacuum cleaner around my neck...



   

                   

and trying to jump off the banister.



   

                   

One of my only friends

was a member of Rock School...



   

                   

and I went to see him

at a performance.



   

                   

I was sitting off by myself and Paul Green

actually asked me to join Rock School.



   

                   

He is a piss-poor musician.



   

                   

I mean, and he's, like,

"I wanna be challenged this season."



   

                   

I gave him some challenging

songs and I would-



   

                   

I would be stunned if he learns

half his songs correctly. And we'll see.



   

                   

I think I greatly overestimated

Will's ability to better himself.



   

                   

Here's some of his bass songs. Will's like,

"I want a challenge." Here's a challenge-



   

                   

Will you stop making fun of Will

for the night? 'Cause he's clearly upset.



   

                   

It's or-fay the ovie-may.



   

                   

See?



   

                   

I kind of see Paul

as a role model for me.



   

                   

'Cause he was someone who, much like me,

didn't have a very good home life...



   

                   

and left his house at   .



   

                   

And built this whole

music empire for himself.



   

                   

If it wasn't for Rock School...



   

                   

and a few other things,

I'd probably be dead, honestly.



   

                   

And I'm barely alive now.



   

                   

Okay, the fourth, when it bends,

makes you sound like. Jimi Hendrix.



   

                   

So you know that's in your arsenal.



   

                   

Whenever you're playin' a solo, you go

to that, 'cause you know that does that.



   

                   

So then, like-



   

                   

Five-five. Evil.

Devil's-The devil's interval.



   

                   

Evil



   

                   

And then like-



   

                   

Major seven.

Fairy



   

                   

Devil



   

                   

Not devil.



   

                   

So, basically, I have

two goals with the kids.



   

                   

Get the kids to, realize

their potential musically...



   

                   

to get 'em as good as possible...



   

                   

and then to get 'em out on stage

in front of as many people as possible.



   

                   

So, you know, my only real interest

in any of these kids...



   

                   

is to really see what they can do once you

strip away the fear and the laziness.



   

                   

Watch Will. Five bucks says

he doesn't get any of his songs right.



   

                   

Will, is it because

you're talently deficient?



   

                   

- 'Cause I don't practice enough.

- You don't practice at all.



   

                   

To get the second goal,

we have our all-star program.



   

                   

Right now, we're doing

the music of Frank Zappa.



   

                   

Zappa a lot of times enters in modes and

blues and jazz and the classical ideas.



   

                   

So the whole goal, initially,

is to get as good as possible.



   

                   

Then, when you're really seasoned-

I mean, and seasoned-



   

                   

These   -year-olds

are very, you know...



   

                   

sophisticated musicians.



   

                   

Everything leads towards then playing Zappa,

and I become their manager, in essence.



   

                   

And I try to get them

as good of gigs as possible.



   

                   

Okay. Here's what we're gonna do.



   

                   

We're gonna learn the music.

We're gonna learn the music real fast.



   

                   

And I say this every time,

and I'm like an alcoholic.



   

                   

I say this time things are gonna be

different, and things aren't different.



   

                   

We're scheduling rehearsals

right at the end.



   

                   

We're like, let's try the song

as crappy as possible. Get it up on stage.



   

                   

So that I don't have to

cut you from your songs...



   

                   

and your parents, like, "I paid all that money,

and my kid was only in two songs. Why?"



   

                   

I have to explain to 'em, your kid's lazy.

They smoke dope. They don't practice.



   

                   

You know what I mean?

So let's not get into that.



   

                   

And practice early and often.



   

                   

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.



   

                   

Try that.



   

                   

Two, one, two.



   

                   

- Yes. Now you gotta practice it.

- I gotta practice it.



   

                   

Here, follow me.

Here's what I do.



   

                   

This is an average day for me.

Come along.



   

                   

I go in, and I'll visit in on students,

and I'll berate them.



   

                   

'Cause we have a very sophisticated game

of good cop, bad cop.



   

                   

So I'll go in... to Dylan's lesson here,

and talk to Cat...



   

                   

and tell her a couple things

I don't like.



   

                   

Then, when I leave, I can assure you

Dylan's, like, "We'll show him."



   

                   

- Hi, Cat. This is Cat Sherman.

- Hi.



   

                   

Cat's got much rock heart

in her heart.



   

                   

The heart of rock and roll

beats within that breast.



   

                   

But yet, due to some, I'll say,

parental issues, or something...



   

                   

she's afraid to unleash it

on the crowd.



   

                   

But this show, Guitar Gods, she will

unleash it, as you lay waste in her wake.



   

                   

Look at her.

Doesn't she look rock and roll?



   

                   

She has, sort, of that Chris Robinson,

future heroin addict look about her?



   

                   

Thanks.



   

                   

Cool. Do you remember what

we did the last time, though?



   

                   

- With the-

- Yeah.



   

                   

Where we were counting?

Let me hear you do that.



   

                   

All right. One and- One and two and

two and three. Hold on.



   

                   

One and two and three and four

and five and six and seven and-



   

                   

One and two and three and four.

One and two and three and four.



   

                   

And then from that dot

to the other dot.



   

                   

Which strings though?



   

                   

So, it's two-two-two notes

in a row on the fifth fret.



   

                   

Do that much.



   

                   

Then...



   

                   

No, wait. It's-



   

                   

- All right. Let's play it, then.

- Okay. Try it.



   

                   

You know, I never say,

"Turn that down." Or everything stops.



   

                   

If you wanna play your music,

turn it up to   . I don't care.



   

                   

You know, I love it.



   

                   

When I was young, all I wanted

to be was a rock star, you know?



   

                   

I wanted to be famous

and be a rock star.



   

                   

Now I get to kinda sorta

live vicariously through my kids.



   

                   

Why don't you play some Sabbath?



   

                   

I don't really know

"Paranoid" that well.



   

                   

I think Paul called me a soccer mom,

only without the soccer.



   

                   

You know? I'm like, "Did you practice?"

I didn't hear you. I can't hear you.



   

                   

Nobody gets credit for practicing

unless I hear it. You know?



   

                   

It's like, "Turn your amp up.

Lemme hear you practice. Do it again."



   

                   

I don't know what

it's supposed to sound like.



   

                   

So, I'm, like, "That sounds right."



   

                   

I would like to think

that what Paul is doing-



   

                   

It should be bringing, like, families

together. You know, parents and kids.



   

                   

Mom?



   

                   

Set the table, would you?



   

                   

- Mom.

- Come on. Get the forks and knives out.



   

                   

Not sit. Get the forks

and knives out.



   

                   

You're capable.



   

                   

My mom's into this thing where

she tries to show people...



   

                   

that we have some

semblance of a normal life.



   

                   

- We really don't.

- That's right. We fake it. Yeah, right.



   

                   

Ordinarily, I wouldn't be doing

any work around the house.



   

                   

- He does too.

- At all.



   

                   

So what are you playing right now

for Rock School, the '  s show?



   

                   

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,"

"Bad," "Land Down Under."



   

                   

You wouldn't really know it.

It's not your generation.



   

                   

- No, it's not my music.

- You know Girl's-



   

                   

I didn't know anything about

Rock School until this year.



   

                   

It's not the Sorbonne.

It's not studying atJuilliard.



   

                   

But those interests

aren't what William is.



   

                   

Do I see William becoming

a great musician? I don't know.



   

                   

You do like to perform, don't you?



   

                   

- Mom, Jesus Christ. Don't cross me.

- Don't cross you?



   

                   

I think in the future, though,

by the time I'm    I could be decent.



   

                   

Not good but decent at the bass.



   

                   

- Is that your goal?

- Yeah.



   

                   

By   ?



   

                   

Not by   . I don't even know if

I'll be alive then, honestly.



   

                   

You know, the old,

"We're with a group...



   

                   

we go sit on the tree stump by ourselves

and hope someone talks to us."



   

                   

That's Will's life,

you know what I mean?



   

                   

I don't buy it for a minute. Another thing

I do with Will is I listen to what he says.



   

                   

And he hates that.

And he loves it.



   

                   

So he'll make a statement.

And I'm like, "Really?"



   

                   

And it drives him nuts,

and he eventually goes away.



   

                   

But, you know,

I don't think people listen to him.



   

                   

He's trying to play that   -year-old

coffee shop intellectual, mopey, droopy-



   

                   

But, you know.

That's a role for a     s movie.



   

                   

- Do you yell at Paul?

- No. I'm afraid of Paul.



   

                   

- He has more of a temper than you have?

- Sure.



   

                   

That's his way of keeping

you guys in control, huh?



   

                   

- No. He's just fuckin' crazy.

- Well-



   

                   

Don't you think he'd have to

have a lot of energy...



   

                   

to keep track of how many

        -year-olds?



   

                   

Yeah, yeah.



   

                   

- That much l-

- Sure.



   

                   

So, for as crazy as he may or may not be,

I give him a lot of credit.



   

                   

Yeah, sure. I do too.

He's a great guy.



   

                   

- I don't have a problem with him.

- Yeah. He's always been nice to me.



   

                   

He's different around the parents.



   

                   

Die, scoundrel! Kneel!



   

                   

- Say it! Say it!

- All hail Paul.



   

                   

Good.



   

                   

One, two. You mess up once, I'll fuckin'

punch your face out, all right?



   

                   

- Okay.

- Okay. One, two, three, four.



   

                   

You have to love this.

Do you love this song?



   

                   

Do you love Dio?

Do you love Satan?



   

                   

- Do you love Satan?

- Yes.



   

                   

I love you.

I want you to rock. That's all.



   

                   

I want to give you...

the gift of rock.



   

                   

Do you love, like, hot women

and rock music and all that?



   

                   

'Cause that's what Satan gives us.



   

                   

To tempt us...

from what we should be doing.



   

                   

Like, the whole trend in education now

is, you don't compare children.



   

                   

I do. She's better than you.



   

                   

- Okay.

- Okay. Bye.



   

                   

You know what the problem is, Shannon?



   

                   

You're pretty good at singing.



   

                   

You're pretty good at keyboards.

You're pretty good at vocals. You know?



   

                   

But you're not as good as

the Zappa keyboard players.



   

                   

You're not as good

as the Zappa vocalists...



   

                   

and you're not as good

as the Zappa guitar players.



   

                   

- Just fuckin' do what I say for a change!

- Okay, okay.



   

                   

- You wanna dump crying today?

- No.



   

                   

- Don't look at your fingers!

- All right.



   

                   

Girls look at their fingers.

You wanna be a girl guitar player?



   

                   

- No.

- You wanna be in the Bangles?



   

                   

You even stop working

for one second, you're out.



   

                   

You're out of Rock School. All right?



   

                   

I'm gonna hunt your dad.

I'm gonna kill your family. All right?



   

                   

I am. I will kill your family.



   

                   

I will send Angelo and Johnny

to your house, kill your family.



   

                   

And they will bathe in the blood,

all right? Bloodbath?



   

                   

This chair does not need to be here.



   

                   

You know, you're not loud enough.

You're not loud enough, okay?



   

                   

I told you to come in

and take care of the keyboards, okay?



   

                   

Get, you know, your feet in back.

Let's set us up.



   

                   

I mean, I'm not your fuckin' roadie.

I'm really not.



   

                   

You know what, John?

You know what? Fuck you, John.



   

                   

- You know what? Just go. Just go.

- What?



   

                   

You-You know-



   

                   

I just told you what to play!



   

                   

Just get the fuck out of here, okay?



   

                   

Who the fuck do you-

I'm your fuckin' teacher.



   

                   

Okay? I own the best fuckin' music school

in the city. In the fuckin' east coast!



   

                   

When I first joined,

I was horrified.



   

                   

I was like, "What did I join?

What is this? Some cult?"



   

                   

I think Paul wants us to

think it's fun and serious.



   

                   

Paul is-



   

                   

He's like a second dad to me.

It's kind of weird.



   

                   

He is the best teacher

I've ever had.



   

                   

And he pushes you.

'Cause he knows what each student thinks.



   

                   

Like, he knows if you

think you're too good...



   

                   

or he knows if you don't

think you're good enough.



   

                   

He, like, always tells me

I suck and stuff.



   

                   

That kinda gets me to, like,

practice a lot more and stuff.



   

                   

And he still tells me I suck.



   

                   

So, he treats you how

you need to be treated...



   

                   

to get yourself to be the best guitar

player, singer, whatever, that you can be.



   

                   

God, Paul has been so influential

on my musical taste...



   

                   

because before we

came into Rock School...



   

                   

- we were listening to Bush and stuff.

- And    .



   

                   

Before, I was into, like, Korn

and Limp Bizkit, and crap like that.



   

                   

He definitely has that

random thought thing going on-



   

                   

when he teaches the kids,

but I think they like it.



   

                   

It's a lovable quirk that

he's mentally disturbed.



   

                   

He yells and screams.



   

                   

And I know I don't react

very well to that type of teaching.



   

                   

I gotta tell you, he scared me to death,

'cause he kept yellin' at people.



   

                   

The bottom line is, you

can't argue with success.



   

                   

He's able to bring out things in some of

these kids that, honestly, I don't see.



   

                   

Yeah, his, definitely, his method is-



   

                   

He tries to get on the kid's level.



   

                   

Okay. This is a Vietnam picture

I'm workin' on.



   

                   

It's about four buddies-



   

                   

The narrator, Fatty,

Brooklyn, and the Kid.



   

                   

Okay? They're basically running gumbo duty

up the Yang Kwai river, you know.



   

                   

Sort of like Behind Enemy Lines,

that kind of thing.



   

                   

And he plays a Vietnamese regular,

V.C., Vietcong, all that.



   

                   

Who, we actually let go earlier in the movie

'cause we're a platoon with a heart.



   

                   

But after we let him go, he actually

kills Fatty later in the picture, okay?



   

                   

So, now, we've captured him again.



   

                   

And okay.

You're playin' Brooklyn.



   

                   

I'm the narrator, right?

We're askin' him where the guns are.



   

                   

'Cause they're in the village somewhere,

but we can't find them.



   

                   

Where are the guns?

Where are the guns?



   

                   

Where are the fuckin' guns?



   

                   

- Where are the guns? Where are the guns?

- He doesn't understand you!



   

                   

He doesn't understand me?

You understand me, don't you?



   

                   

You understood how to kill Fatty!

You understood that, didn't you?



   

                   

Thank you.



   

                   

I need more coffee.



   

                   

A long time ago, in fact,

I had to reconcile the...



   

                   

Paul the guitar player

with Paul the guitar teacher.



   

                   

'Cause our goals are very different.

If I succeed as Paul the guitar teacher...



   

                   

I'm making kids who are, frankly,

better guitar players than me...



   

                   

which Paul the guitar player

doesn't like at all.



   

                   

Sometimes a kid'll get good...



   

                   

and I'll start practicin'to stay

a couple steps ahead of them.



   

                   

Probably what got me started

in rock music...



   

                   

was what got

a lot of people started.



   

                   

One, I loved music growin'up.



   

                   

Two, I noticed that if I played guitar,

people noticed me.



   

                   

Music and, sort of, playing

guitar sort of came easy to me.



   

                   

I noticed that it set me apart

from people, and I enjoyed that.



   

                   

I really feel like Paul...



   

                   

was and is, like, a genius musician.



   

                   

Man, the stuffhe used to write

for the band was really incredible.



   

                   

I mean, really innovative and amazing.



   

                   

You know the movie Almost Famous?



   

                   

Saw that movie, great movie. It's just

a feel-good movie. You're smilin'.



   

                   

With all the music

and the good feelings in that movie...



   

                   

I realized I still

wanted to be a rock star...



   

                   

but I wanted to be

a rock star in     .



   

                   

Like, I'd never want to be

a rock star now, you know?



   

                   

So, like, I get to do music, live off it,

not have to cut fish for a living.



   

                   

And at the same time...



   

                   

not have all the attendant pratfalls

of being a musician in today's age.



   

                   

Okay. That gentleman's name

is Napoleon Murphy-Brock.



   

                   

I got ahold ofhim

last night. I talked to him.



   

                   

And I said, "If you could

tell the kids one thing"-



   

                   

At some point, I'm gonna bring him here,

and he's gonna talk to you kids.



   

                   

'Cause maybe you'll listen to him.

You know what I'm sayin'?



   

                   

'Cause he only played, you know,

in the Zappa band and... is awesome.



   

                   

And he said this.

I swear to God. Verbatim.



   

                   

When he performs, he realizes

that those people out in the audience...



   

                   

could have sat home

and watched TV that night.



   

                   

But they came to see you,

and they deserve a show.



   

                   

And not a plaid-shirt-

and-baseball-hat-and-jeans...



   

                   

we're-just-three-guys-playing-

three-chords-up-here show.



   

                   

'Cause that shit sucks.

And it has no staying power.



   

                   

Okay? But a real show.



   

                   

He said the best way to have

the audience love what you do...



   

                   

is you love it and let it show.



   

                   

And I'm not tellin' you this.

Napoleon Murphy-Brock's tellin' you this.



   

                   

You went to see Zappa

back in the day, he's gonna-



   

                   

You buy your ticket, he's goin' out

and gonna put on three hours...



   

                   

and you're not gonna be bored

for one second.



   

                   

That's what I'm tryin'

to teach you guys to do.



   

                   

I'm tryin' to teach you guys to be way

above any of that stuff that's there now.



   

                   

You know my dream, right?

Rolling Stone magazine,     .



   

                   

Where did all these bands come from?

And they start tracing people back to me.



   

                   

And all of a sudden there's this

new movement of significant music.



   

                   

As an educational tool,

it's ended up being perfect.



   

                   

I'll cast a kid. I'll say here, you are

assigned to the hardest Zappa song ever.



   

                   

Then, when they don't have it

after a couple of weeks...



   

                   

I'll say, "What are you doing?



   

                   

What are you doing? Are you watching TV?

Go practice your song."



   

                   

So, never do I indicate,

"You shouldn't be doin' this."



   

                   

So they think,

"I can do this if I just practice."



   

                   

And then they do practice.

And then they can do it.



   

                   

So the next thing you know,

we're playing Zappa tunes...



   

                   

with saxophones and xylophones...



   

                   

and vocal harmonies,

and, forget what the question was.



   

                   

I think after you listen

to music like Frank Zappa...



   

                   

and you play it, and you've like,

"Yes. I can master that song."



   

                   

And then you listen to, like,    

you're like, that's such a simple song.



   

                   

It's really an honor

to be a part of something like that.



   

                   

And I'm so excited that Paul is actually

putting this out there and saying...



   

                   

"Hey, guys, look at

what these kids can do." You know?



   

                   

Zappa's gonna continue from now.

It's gonna be the, you know-



   

                   

You practice, you get in this.

You get in this, cool things happen.



   

                   

If you're not gonna work for me

and you're not gonna listen...



   

                   

I have no use for you. Okay?



   

                   

And the people who do work for me,

I'm gonna fuckin' hook up so awesome.



   

                   

The Zappa kids are playing the Trocadero

three times between now and June  .



   

                   

Okay? We're playing

Borders bookshop on Saturday.



   

                   

We're gonna rock

the fuckin' bookshelves.



   

                   

I'm takin' 'em to Germany, okay?



   

                   

We got asked to play

the Zappanale Festival in Germany...



   

                   

which is, like, this huge,

just, crazy Zappa festival.



   

                   

I don't know if it's gonna be

some kind of free-for-all...



   

                   

crazy Zappa people everywhere.



   

                   

I hope I don't get too nervous...



   

                   

because I heard there was gonna

be thousands of people there.



   

                   

No, I'm definitely not

going to Germany.



   

                   

- Why do you say it like that?

- What? No.



   

                   

I don't know. It's like the forbidden

fruit that you'll never taste.



   

                   

Like, these are the good kids,

and these are the rewards.



   

                   

You suck, and you'll never get shit.



   

                   

We're gonna play with

Napoleon Murphy-Brock and Ike Willis...



   

                   

and all these famous Zappa people.



   

                   

I'm, like, half nervous, half excited.



   

                   

I just know it's gonna turn out to be...



   

                   

like, one of the best

playing experiences of my life...



   

                   

'cause we're gonna be playing

with these-my heroes.



   

                   

Paul actually usually bashes on me more

about being a Quaker than anything else.



   

                   

It's okay.



   

                   

Quakerism for me, like, I have been

going to meetings since I was seven.



   

                   

I was in a lot of leadership positions...



   

                   

and was really out there,

doing, you know, service...



   

                   

in homeless communities...



   

                   

andjust lots of peace activism.



   

                   

I don't do Quakerism stuff

that much anymore...



   

                   

because I'm more involved here,

and I really hate my school.



   

                   

And I really hate the area

that I live in...



   

                   

so I look forward to coming to Rock School

and hanging out with my friends here.



   

                   

I couldn't let this show

go a month, two months...



   

                   

without putting it on stage.



   

                   

Basically tonight's a tune-up

for everything that comes after tonight.



   

                   

You guys, if not tonight, then very soon,

we'll have the best show in town. Really.



   

                   

I mean, go out and see some bands.



   

                   

Then you'll just realize

how fuckin' awesome we are.



   

                   

And not even we- Me. No.



   

                   

You. And not all of you.

But most of you. Okay?



   

                   

Her solos-You know, she-

In rehearsal, her solos are great.



   

                   

At the show, she just stands there.

No one's even noticing she's playing a solo.



   

                   

Last night- Did you see

what I did Sunday night?



   

                   

And she was pissed.

But her solo sounded good for once.



   

                   

I mean, be a fuckin'rock star.



   

                   

I always say that

at the beginning of rehearsals.



   

                   

If you don't wanna be great,

let me know.



   

                   

If you're just here to have a little fun,

I mean, we'll do that, you know?



   

                   

But Madi's keeps insisting,

you know, "I'm gonna be great."



   

                   

Okay. Then, be great.



   

                   

He picks out stuff that

he knows will piss her off.



   

                   

Then when he does it,

it does piss her off...



   

                   

which really is just so stupid.



   

                   

No, you missin' those two

for shit-ass $ .  -an-hour job?



   

                   

$ .  .

Please, Paul Come on, Paul.



   

                   

I'll pay $ .   just to

punch your mom in the face, all right?



   

                   

Perfect example

is the Quaker rap thing...



   

                   

which, prior to her being

found out by Rock School...



   

                   

was something that she was

excited about and enjoyed.



   

                   

I met these guys who are

the friendly gangsters.



   

                   

It's just a bunch of guys that

got together five years ago



   

                   

when they were all really young.



   

                   

And they werejust, like,

"God, hymns suck so much."



   

                   

And so, they started

rapping them outside.



   

                   

And they're "Oh, whatever.

Raise your hands in the air. Oh, Jesus."



   

                   

It actually all started

'cause there was this song...



   

                   

I learned at a Quaker conference

called, "Come and Fill Me Up."



   

                   

It's a modern Christian hymn...



   

                   

but it has some pretty

blatant sexual undertones.



   

                   

I've, like, rapped it before

just as a joke, so I was, like, all right.



   

                   

We can do that. So we did it.



   

                   

And everybody went wild for it.!



   

                   

And we pulled out, like, a hymnal

and just ended up pulling out...



   

                   

all these random Quaker hymns

that we all knew and just rapped 'em.



   

                   

Everybody loved it.



   

                   

And that was the year we

met "Sha-freaka," a.k.a. Madi.



   

                   

When true

simplicity is gained



   

                   

To bow, to bend

we shan't be ashamed



   

                   

To turn, turn

It will be our delight



   

                   

Just by turning, turning

we come 'round right



   

                   

When true-



   

                   

'Cause Madi's always busy, like, doin' her

Frank Zappa shit, and goin' to Germany.



   

                   

See, I have this idea that

we should go to Germany with her.



   

                   

And we could set up

on stage with them...



   

                   

and just, like, refuse to stop playing

until Madi played a show with us.



   

                   

But Madi said that wasn't a good idea.



   

                   

Madi Diaz, she's out of the show.



   

                   

Rock with the friendly gangsters.



   

                   

Hello, Germany!



   

                   

If you see an old lady

crossing the street



   

                   

Give her a hand

Don't be rude



   

                   

Now shejust thinks it's totally bogus

because he's made such fun of it, right?



   

                   

She just thinks it's bullshit.

And that sucks.



   

                   

I told her that the other day.



   

                   

I said, "You know, Madilyn,

you've taken something-



   

                   

You've let them take something

that you enjoyed and ruin it."



   

                   

Saturday nights

we feed the poor



   

                   

Sunday

we feed 'em some more



   

                   

I want to utilize children's

learning ability...



   

                   

while trying to

make them not be children.



   

                   

You know what I mean? So the perfect

student is one who's still a child...



   

                   

and still has that love and joy,

but somehow has a work ethic.



   

                   

Only my class knows that

I'm pretty good at guitar.



   

                   

They were like, "Wow, you should be

on Star Search or something."



   

                   

For him, a lot of the times

I have to diffuse the pressure.



   

                   

He puts pressure on himself

at school too.



   

                   

He came home with

a "B" and he was distraught.



   

                   

And I'm, like, "B's are okay.

You know, it's okay to have fun."



   

                   

And sometimes he just thinks, "No."



   

                   

These are things that he

needs to do in order to make it.



   

                   

I actually am very much against...



   

                   

kids "making it" at a certain age.



   

                   

'Cause no one under the age of   

has ever made any significant music...



   

                   

or had a career after that.



   

                   

I almost feel like what we do is,

is let them cut their teeth and have-



   

                   

and simulate the music career...



   

                   

while they wait to have

their heart really broken.



   

                   

Is this what you want to do

with the rest of your life?



   

                   

Yeah. Definitely.



   

                   

The mirror's down here.

Come here, buddy.



   

                   

You're crazy. Come here.

Look up. Look up.



   

                   

There's really no other

way for me to do this.



   

                   

We're going to-



   

                   

We're going to be doing

a show called Black Sabbath.



   

                   

It seems like it might be very hard.



   

                   

- Not too heavy.

- Not too heavy, I promise.



   

                   

There must be some

inherent gene in women...



   

                   

that lets us be able to handle

the whole makeup thing.



   

                   

'Cause the boys don't have it.



   

                   

The two songs that I sing in it

is "Iron Man" and...



   

                   

I also sing "Into the Void."



   

                   

So sing "Into the Void" for me.



   

                   

Rocket engines

burning fuel so fast



   

                   

- Up into-

- No, that's not the point. With timing.



   

                   

Rocket engines

burning fuel so fast



   

                   

Up into the night sky

they blast



   

                   

- Mom!

- Yes.



   

                   

Can I have a cross

and my eyes look cool?



   

                   

- Can you have a cross on your forehead?

- Yes.



   

                   

- I want a pentagram.

- I'm not giving you a pentagram.



   

                   

- A pentagram.

- I'm not giving you a pentagram.



   

                   

Or a    

or anything like that.



   

                   

Tucker thinks he's done?



   

                   

I just gotta write Ozzy on his knuckles,

and then we're done.



   

                   

- What about those lines that go right there?

- I'm gonna put them on.



   

                   

I probably need to get this sharpened,

though, to do the lines in the Z's.



   

                   

- Yup. I know what you mean.

- You know what I mean?



   

                   

I'm going to be playing a song-



   

                   

playing one song on guitar

and it's called "Paranoid."



   

                   

And it's gonna be

very hard, I think.



   

                   

'Cause it's

a very fast song.



   

                   

And I'm singing two songs.



   

                   

One song is "Iron Man"

that me and Tucker both sing.



   

                   

And the other song I sing is called

"Sweet Leaf" which is about pot.



   

                   

Didn't realize



   

                   

I can't forget you



   

                   

For your surprise



   

                   

You introduced me

to my mind



   

                   

Asa, I'm about to spray

Aqua Net all over your hair.



   

                   

I don't know.

Maybe I can get the front to stay up-



   

                   

Mom, tell him when

he can open his-



   

                   

This next hour and a half

is the most important time.



   

                   

Now is the time we can do

the most damage or good to the show.



   

                   

If you reallyjust focus

and go over last-minute details...



   

                   

we can really hammer this

into a really good show.



   

                   

I will make sure that you look

amazing up here tonight.



   

                   

Tonight's not about rock and roll.

It's not about you guys.



   

                   

It's not about me.

Tonight is about Satan. Okay?



   

                   

Yeah!



   

                   

To the glowing sun



   

                   

Through the empires

of eternal void



   

                   

Freedom from

the final suicide



   

                   

On the seventh-



   

                   

Look, look, look. When you're onstage-

When you're onstage...



   

                   

I'll be sitting in the front, right?



   

                   

You're gonna be nodding and doing

your whole thing, your little Ozzy bop.



   

                   

Then when I go like this,

we're gonna sing together.



   

                   

Rocket engines

burnin'fuel so fast



   

                   

Up into the night sky

they blast



   

                   

You're right on time.

Do you know what I mean?



   

                   

You're in time with the music,

so you have it.



   

                   

Guys, guys.

We can laugh at ourselves...



   

                   

but now we're gonna play some Sabbath

and it's no laughing matter.



   

                   

I love you guys. Whatever you do,

it's all right with me. We'll talk Monday.



   

                   

When I say, go, we're gonna say,

"Six, six, eight, neighbor of the beast."



   

                   

Okay?



   

                   

Six, six, eight, neighbor of the beast.

One, two, three!



   

                   

Six, six, eight,

neighbor of the beast!



   

                   

These kids are really brave,

and I think they worked really hard.



   

                   

I think they're a little scared tonight,

so I wanna give 'em a big hand...



   

                   

just for havin' the guts and the diligence

to get up here and do this, okay?



   

                   

Two, three, four.



   

                   

All right, now!



   

                   

Won't you listen



   

                   

When I first met you



   

                   

Didn't realize



   

                   

I can't forget you



   

                   

Yes. On the cymbals.



   

                   

Finish with my woman



   

                   

'Cause she couldn't help me

with my mind



   

                   

People think I'm insane



   

                   

Because I am frowning

all the time



   

                   

Rocket engines

burning fuel so fast



   

                   

Up into the night sky

they blast



   

                   

Through the universe

the engines whine



   

                   

Could it be the end

of man and time



   

                   

Back on earth

the flame oflife burns low



   

                   

Everywhere

is misery and woe



   

                   

Pollution kills the air

the land and sea



   

                   

Man prepares

to meet his destiny



   

                   

You know when you know

you practiced enough?



   

                   

When you can play your song

perfectly...



   

                   

with a fuckin' World War III

going on around you.



   

                   

And I don't care, 'cause hopefully

you'll practice in the future.



   

                   

But you know what you guys did?

You let those guys see you sweat tonight.



   

                   

And you never do that.



   

                   

You let 'em see you sweat.



   

                   

Okay? Here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna play pretend.



   

                   

We're gonna pretend

that the first set was a joke...



   

                   

and we were just pretending

we were kids...



   

                   

and pretending we didn't know

what amps we were plugged into...



   

                   

or what microphones to use...



   

                   

or where the smoke was coming from,

or what the lyrics are.



   

                   

But guess what.

Nobody went home.



   

                   

They want to be rocked tonight.



   

                   

And we've got about one song

to show them we're not fuckin' around.



   

                   

We're gonna do the songs too wild,

and they're gonna say...



   

                   

"What the fuck was that first set?

Where did those kids go?



   

                   

Who are these new kids?"

You hear me?



   

                   

- Yeah.

- If you don't believe that, leave now.



   

                   

If you think this is all a joke, leave now.

'Cause you know what I do?



   

                   

I make really good musicians.

That's what I do for a living.



   

                   

That's why I am who I am.

And I'll tell you how to do it.



   

                   

Smile, fuck them, fuck you

and just play your songs.



   

                   

If you mess up,

you meant to mess up.



   

                   

Okay? Thank you.



   

                   

Heavy boots oflead



   

                   

Fills his victims full of dread



   

                   

Running as fast as they can



   

                   

Iron man lives again



   

                   

Always been an ambitious person,

and, you know, wanna do special things.



   

                   

I've always loved kids.

I've always loved teaching.



   

                   

I mean, I'm just-

I teach all the time.



   

                   

Can you sayJethro Tull?



   

                   

Jethro Tull?



   

                   

Watch this.



   

                   

He likes it when Daddy

rocks the fat beats. Right?



   

                   

November    of     

I had a son-



   

                   

Walden McKinley Green.



   

                   

He's a very cool boy,

and in some sense has changed me.



   

                   

Lisa wouldn't say so.



   

                   

Lisa says I go on about my life

like nothing ever happened.



   

                   

But I'll tell you. I mean, it makes-

It puts things in perspective, you know.



   

                   

It's, like, the next step. You know,

I love kids, and now I have my own.



   

                   

And now I have an excuse to

coach Little League in a couple years...



   

                   

so it's not weird.



   

                   

Good.



   

                   

Classical music,

that's, like, a thing now.



   

                   

You know, you play classical music

for your baby to make them really smart.



   

                   

I really just think

it was so boring to him.



   

                   

And then we put Frank Zappa

on one day...



   

                   

and he was like-



   

                   

he was, like, kicking his legs,

smiling and just laughing.



   

                   

And he loves Frank Zappa,

which Paul's very happy about.



   

                   

- All those acoustics-

- Extreme.



   

                   

On a serious note, keep a little whatever-

whatever it is you do...



   

                   

in your heart for C.J., who had

an operation yesterday on his leg.



   

                   

He has a bone disorder, and his-

he was walking around for a month...



   

                   

with his leg

out of his hip socket.



   

                   

Yeah. And he can't come tonight,

he can't come tomorrow...



   

                   

but he will be playing the show on Sunday,

but he has to sit down to play.



   

                   

- Wow, that's great.

- C.J.



   

                   

And maybe it'll be like

the start of a tradition...



   

                   

and he'll be, like,

a sit-down guitar player.



   

                   

Can anybody name

a sit-down guitar player?



   

                   

- Yeah, C.J.!

- C.J.!



   

                   

Bottom left. Bottom left. Bottom left.

That's right, right there.



   

                   

I was thinking about it...



   

                   

and do I really wanna do this?



   

                   

But I knew my dream was to,

like, be a rock star, you know.



   

                   

It was like- I mean, I was thinking

I might not wanna do this...



   

                   

but I think I'm gonna have to.



   

                   

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. C.J. Tywoniak.



   

                   

Fresh from an operation

on his legs... three days ago?



   

                   

- Friday, right? Last Thursday?

- Yeah.



   

                   

Then he told the doctor he would wait

unless he could play the show tonight.



   

                   

So, let's give him a big hand.



   

                   

The thing I tell the kids

a lot lately is...



   

                   

in one sense, music is

the most selfish act.



   

                   

But if you can actually

get up there and play music...



   

                   

and make people smile,

there's nothing like that.



   

                   

And if I create kids who go out there

and play music selfishly...



   

                   

and in spite of themselves and

make other people happy by doing that...



   

                   

and make themselves happy...



   

                   

and understand that when

you'rejust playing music...



   

                   

to create music,

you're at your best...



   

                   

that's enough.



   

                   

Let me tell you something else.

I'm gonna be a jerk for a minute.



   

                   

The Philly Enquirer

is coming in here tomorrow.



   

                   

They're gonna come a few times.



   

                   

They're gonna write a story

in the Sunday Magazine.



   

                   

Okay? About me.



   

                   

The circulation of the Sunday Enquirer

is like two million people.



   

                   

I'm gonna have

a million new students.



   

                   

Okay? You know what that means?

Apocalypse for most of you.



   

                   

It's the end, motherfuckers.



   

                   

Basically, I got a call

out of the blue one day...



   

                   

Melissa Dribben,

Philadelphia Enquirer.



   

                   

They wanna do an article, so, you know,

I had her come in and you know...



   

                   

maybe as this movie will show,

I'm not that good at editing myself...



   

                   

when people with pens

and recording devices are around.



   

                   

I met the lady

that wrote the article...



   

                   

and she was... fucking weird in the head.



   

                   

First of all, I mean, it was written

with the composition of a fourth grader...



   

                   

rambling and outright long.



   

                   

She misquoted me, created the quote.



   

                   

Also, she called me a sad Eeyore

of Rock School, which was okay.



   

                   

But the major underlying point

of the article...



   

                   

and what struck a chord with my mother...

is that there was-



   

                   

It outright said that

there was a Will O'Connor Award...



   

                   

for the kid most likely to kill himself.



   

                   

Why is it the Will O'Connor Award?



   

                   

Because when you meet Will O'Connor,

he says, "Hi. My name's Paul Green."



   

                   

I'm Paul Green. He says, "Hi. My name's

Will I tried to kill myself three times."



   

                   

And then he tells the stories,

and they're funny stories.



   

                   

And if they're funny to him,

they're okay to me.



   

                   

When Paul does it, it's all right, because

it's in the close quarters of Rock School.



   

                   

And my parents

certainly didn't know about it.



   

                   

They kinda think

Paul's an immature child.



   

                   

He really needs to be more of an adult

in the way he handles his business.



   

                   

They call him a Peter Pan.

He likes to appeal to children.



   

                   

He never wants to grow up.



   

                   

He can't be an adult in real society,

so he surrounds himself with children...



   

                   

where he can be the hero.



   

                   

He said, "My mom's not gonna pay for lessons.

She's furious and thinking of suing you."



   

                   

It took a lot of doing and work

for her not to get a lawyer on my part.



   

                   

In fact, the irony is

is that since Will joined Rock School...



   

                   

all chance of him attempting

suicide pretty much ran out the door...



   

                   

because in this place

he found, you know, it's a breeding-



   

                   

Not a breeding ground. It's a meeting

place for misfits of all shape and sizes.



   

                   

No. No "Purple Rain."



   

                   

- "Purple Daze."

- No "Purple Rain," no.



   

                   

Why don't you fuckin' do the songs

you don't know? No "Purple Rain."



   

                   

- Paul, what do you want me to do?

- I want you to know the song!



   

                   

- I know the song.

- I want you to know the keyboard!



   

                   

Get people in your songs together...



   

                   

and teach them so you

are all playing the same parts.



   

                   

I want people to understand when they

sound good and listen to their own parts...



   

                   

and have some fuckin' pride

in this shit.



   

                   

That's a mess.

Don't fuckin' shake your head.



   

                   

He'll bash heads with me a lot,

you know, around other people.



   

                   

But when it's just the two of us,

or like three of us hanging out...



   

                   

you know, me and, like, one other person

and Paul, he'll tell me...



   

                   

you know, like,

you know I don't hate you.



   

                   

Did you ever get together

with the people on this song once?



   

                   

- Yes, I did.

- How come they don't know how it goes?



   

                   

I don't know, Paul. 'Cause they don't know

how to play their instruments maybe.



   

                   

Oh, and you're so fuckin' hot.

All right?



   

                   

I don't know, Paul.

What do you want me to do?



   

                   

I want you to get the people

and have them learn their songs!



   

                   

I'm doing everything I can.



   

                   

That's what I've been saying

since the beginning!



   

                   

You weren't even playing

the right parts.



   

                   

I kept cuing you,

and you wouldn't play it.



   

                   

Madi would have been

out ofhere a long time ago...



   

                   

if I didn't feel I had something to

teach her and owed it to her to teach her.



   

                   

So, the net loss

that she brings to my program...



   

                   

I mean, really, as far as

morale and sort of influence...



   

                   

is disregarded because I really feel

like Madi is an extraordinary talent.



   

                   

That's what I've been saying.



   

                   

Bullshit. Ask Lee if I've talked

to her once this whole time.



   

                   

- This rehearsal!

- Goddamn it. Bite my ass.



   

                   

All right.

Why aren't you working?



   

                   

I gave you a new song.

Why aren't you working with people?



   

                   

It gets mixed up sometimes.

Sometimes my friends say...



   

                   

"You're talking to me like you talk

to the kids." I do that sometimes.



   

                   

But Paul Green, the dude,

is a simple guy.



   

                   

You know, he likes-

You know, I mean-



   

                   

When I am able to leave work behind,

I go home.



   

                   

I like, you know, watching movies.



   

                   

I like watching basketball.

I like making a fire.



   

                   

You know, it's like

I tell the kids about performing...



   

                   

it's a lot of me...

is performing, you know.



   

                   

I mean, sometimes I'm really mad.



   

                   

And then sometimes I'm just faking it

to get people's attention.



   

                   

I kinda have, you know,

I kinda play both sides...



   

                   

because, you know, as a   -year-old,

I was the nerdy little kid.



   

                   

And then as a   -year-old,

I was kind of the cool guy guitar player.



   

                   

So I kind of have a little bit of both,

but with the fat bald guy mixed in.



   

                   

On the other hand, these kids are literally

part of something that's the best.



   

                   

Not the only, but the best

of its kind, you know.



   

                   

There's very, very few times

where you get to be the best in life.



   

                   

And I know my ego's as big

as the whole universe.



   

                   

If I couldn't be the best guitar player,

I've invented something new...



   

                   

so I could be the best at it.



   

                   

Do it! Yeah!



   

                   

Girl, you really got me now



   

                   

You got me so I don't know

what I'm doin'



   

                   

Girl, you really got me now



   

                   

You got me so I can't sleep at night



   

                   

Girl, you really got me now



   

                   

You got me so I don't know

where I'm goin', yeah



   

                   

Oh, yeah

You really got me now



   

                   

You got me so I can't sleep

at night



   

                   

You really got me. You really got me

You really got me



   

                   

Please, don't ever let me be



   

                   

I only wanna be by your side



   

                   

Please, don't ever let me be



   

                   

I only wanna be by your side



   

                   

Girl, you really got me now



   

                   

You got me so I don't know

where I'm goin', yeah



   

                   

Oh, yeah

You really got me now



   

                   

You got me so I can't sleep at night



   

                   

You really got me. You really got me

You really got me



   

                   

Oh, no, no, no



   

                   

Girl, you really got me now



   

                   

You got me so I don't know

what I'm doin'



   

                   

Ow.! Girl, you really

got me now



   

                   

You got me so I can't sleep

at night



   

                   

Girl, you really got me now



   

                   

You got me so I don't know

what I'm doin', yeah



   

                   

Oh, yeah

you really got me now



   

                   

You got me so I can't sleep at night



   

                   

You really got me. You really got me

You really got me



   

                   

C.J. Will be signing

autographs in the lounge...



   

                   

five dollars each

after the show.



   

                   

I think the show's awesome.



   

                   

I think C.J.'s awesome.



   

                   

I don't care, like,

über musicians, you know.



   

                   

And not, you know, not at the expense

of the happiness of the kid.



   

                   

I think there's a true happiness...



   

                   

that comes with the confidence

of being that creative...



   

                   

and exceptional.



   

                   

That is, you know, it's sublime.



   

                   

And so at the same time, not like-

I don't wanna create, like...



   

                   

miserable geniuses.



   

                   

I wanna create,

you know, happy geniuses.



   

                   

Be yourself! Big!



   

                   

Wait, wait. Wait!



   

                   

Beat!



   

                   

Wanna set you free

I need you here by me because



   

                   

Rock School's really built

in the hierarchy.



   

                   

And the way it's supposed

to be looked at, the hierarchy...



   

                   

is you strive to be that good.



   

                   

But often times

it's very disillusioning...



   

                   

when you try

and you're not that good.



   

                   

And you don't-And it's not even feasible

for you to be that good.



   

                   

And you kinda get-

I just feel that there's a lot of kids...



   

                   

that kinda get lost

in the web that is Rock School.



   

                   

It's how it ends.



   

                   

Mike! What the fuck!



   

                   

What the fuck are you learn-

What the fuck!



   

                   

With the guitar going-



   

                   

That is how it ends,

but that wasn't the ending!



   

                   

If you guys can reasonably

get through the song...



   

                   

meaning don't stop the song

before it's over-



   

                   

I realize I made a mistake.



   

                   

Just realizing you made

a mistake is not enough!



   

                   

Don't fuckin' make mistakes!

Not on "Rebel Yell."



   

                   

Okay.



   

                   

I've got- Come here.



   

                   

I have to deal with this, okay?



   

                   

This I have to worry about.

I should not have to worry about you.



   

                   

- Okay.

- Understand?



   

                   

This is waiting for me to see how

his song's going. How are your songs?



   

                   

- Good.

- No, they're not.



   

                   

Kids don't always strive for the best...



   

                   

and Paul thinks his tactics

work best over everything.



   

                   

And brute force

and shrieking at children...



   

                   

is always the best route

to get them to practice.



   

                   

I actually had a really long speech

with the kids the other night.



   

                   

And what I told them was, you know,

they're not my friends.



   

                   

And I understand that

and never expected them to be, you know.



   

                   

I mean, they don't even

understand what friendship is.



   

                   

I know I'm a big fat jerk, all right?



   

                   

I know. I know I am. I know.



   

                   

I have to get up and look at myself

in the mirror every day.



   

                   

I don't see fuckin' Eric Svalgard

in the mirror. I see me.



   

                   

Okay? But I also know the couple times

I'm trying not to be a big fat jerk...



   

                   

you kids are horrible, you're evil,

you're manipulative little fucks.



   

                   

I'm their friend.



   

                   

And, you know, there's not a kid

in the school who won't...



   

                   

when the chips are on the table,

choose their peers...



   

                   

and this sounds weird,

but their parents...



   

                   

or an easy way out over me.



   

                   

You know, as much as I do and all that.

You understand, it's just what kids are.



   

                   

So kids will put the knife right in,

and that's fine.



   

                   

I mean, if I was sensitive about that,

I'd be in the wrong business.



   

                   

But, at the same time, I have

a deep affection for many of these kids.



   

                   

'Cause you can't do this job

without investing yourself in the kids.



   

                   

Christ.



   

                   

It has to be on a   -degree angle

pointing in...



   

                   

'cause we have square tips here.



   

                   

But they come in other fashions.



   

                   

I feel I felt more solace

and more contention in music...



   

                   

in the music I chose

to listen to...



   

                   

not the music Paul felt I should

and that Paul felt I should learn.



   

                   

Though learning it helped me, to some

extent, to become a better musician...



   

                   

which is, I suppose,

the underlying purpose of it all.



   

                   

Me and Paul parted ways

on the best possible terms.



   

                   

I mean, I cried almost

a little bit kind of, but not really...



   

                   

and I don't wanna talk about it

in that sense.



   

                   

But Paul was very respectful.

He just approached me...



   

                   

and he was, like, "Do you wanna be

in Rock School anymore?"



   

                   

And I guess it was more of, like,

that was his way of saying...



   

                   

"You're not paying,

you don't wanna work...



   

                   

and you're not gonna get good. "



   

                   

Maybe Paul honestly saw me

as a lost kid...



   

                   

and that he felt like

he should give me help...



   

                   

'cause I was a pretty fucked-up kid.



   

                   

So, I mean, do you- do you miss it?



   

                   

Do I?



   

                   

I do, but not to the extent

that I'd ever go back.



   

                   

I feel like that part

of my life is over.



   

                   

One, two, three.



   

                   

One, t- Listen to me.

One, two, three, four.



   

                   

There it is. Okay?

It's not on four. It's on four and.



   

                   

One, two, three, four.



   

                   

No! Why are you hitting that

before the song?



   

                   

This is my, on so many levels,

was sort of my little reward.



   

                   

One, two, three, four.



   

                   

And now this is sort of

the end point.



   

                   

This is, "Look at the work

I've done with these kids. "



   

                   

Sing it into the mike!

Sing into the mike!



   

                   

That's not an unimportant

part of the song.



   

                   

That's the shining moment.

Who told you not to play that?



   

                   

Everyone's sick

of keyboard girls over there.



    

                   

We gotta raise the ante.

We're going to Germany.



    

                   

And, you know, I get to

put them on stage...



    

                   

in front of people who know

and understand this music.



    

                   

And I have a feeling that

we're gonna be the best act there.



    

                   

We just find that bottle.

We were walking around-



    

                   

Am I, like, burping out on my bed?



    

                   

- No, not really.

- You sure?



    

                   

Okay, fact number one:

Bad Doberan's already packed.



    

                   

There's gonna be tons of people

at this festival.



    

                   

Fact number two:

We have other people on the schedule.



    

                   

People are like, "Who?"

We're playing right after Ike Willis.



    

                   

And we're playing right before

Napoleon Murphy-Brock and all this stuff.



    

                   

And I just ran into some English guys

downtown, who were, like, practicing.



    

                   

And I was like, "Oh, hey,

I'm doing the festival too."



    

                   

They're like, "Oh, whatever."

And I was like, "Where's the"-



    

                   

'Cause I knew the office with someone.

They're like, "It's around here somewhere."



    

                   

Disrespect, okay?

They're disrespecting you guys.



    

                   

I'm dead serious.

We have to fuckin' destroy everybody.



    

                   

We have to destroy them like we

destroyed the Germans in World War I.



    

                   

Like we destroyed the Germans

in World War II.



    

                   

Okay?



    

                   

And like we run their economy now.

Okay, anyway.



    

                   

Anyway, listen. We've had fun.



    

                   

We're gonna get out. When we

wake up tomorrow, it's work, okay?



    

                   

It is work. You guys are gonna practice

for three hours tomorrow.



    

                   

You're gonna practice

for three hours on Saturday.



    

                   

And you're gonna do nothing

but warm up on Sunday. All right?



    

                   

There is no excuses, okay?



    

                   

You're gonna work on some

vocal harmonies with Lauren.



    

                   

- I got some.

- Okay. You're gonna just-



    

                   

Like sometimes you nail those parts

of"Inca Roads," sometimes you don't.



    

                   

You're gonna just have to guarantee.

You know what I'm saying?



    

                   

We pull off"Inca Roads"- I wanted to

end with it, but I'm not quite-



    

                   

So, I moved it earlier in the set.



    

                   

But we pull "Inca Roads" off, everybody,

the crowd is just gonna go nuts.



    

                   

- No, we'll work on it.

- If we're just good...



    

                   

if we're just amazing,

it ain't gonna happen.



    

                   

We have to be the best band

at Zappanale.



    

                   

Hey, oh



    

                   

Throw your hands in the air

and wave 'em like you just don't care



    

                   

And if you think that we're gonna rock

somebody say, "Oh, yeah"



    

                   

- Oh, yeah.

- Hey



    

                   

Guys?

Somebody say, "Oh, yeah"



    

                   

- Oh, yeah.

- Good morning



    

                   

Rise and shine



    

                   

Let's go wake the ladies up.



    

                   

Everybody decent?



    

                   

Good morning

It's your birthday



    

                   

We're gonna party

like it's your birthday



    

                   

Who wants to rock

Oh, yeah



    

                   

Stop. Oh, God.



    

                   

There's all these people

that like Zappa and all this shit.



    

                   

I don't wanna, like,

mess it up and everything.



    

                   

We have too much

on our shoulders.



    

                   

I just hope people show up

to the show.



    

                   

And I hope we don't screw up,

'cause they all know Zappa material.



    

                   

It's not-We don't play late enough

for everyone to be drunk and not care.



    

                   

That's how I feel.



    

                   

- So, come on. Let's do this.

- All right.



    

                   

As far as the kids go,

I met them in Philadelphia.



    

                   

I was on tour

with Project/Object last year.



    

                   

When we got to Philadelphia, they said,

"Oh, here's this guy named Paul Green...



    

                   

with these kids,

and they play Frank Zappa music.



    

                   

And they're from

the age of nine to   ."



    

                   

And I went, "And they do what?"



    

                   

"Yeah, they play Frank Zappa music."

"Oh, really? Which songs do they play?"



    

                   

And they gave us a list of the songs,

and I went, "No, they don't play that."



    

                   

- Good.

- One, two, three, four.



    

                   

And all I can say about

the effect that it had on us...



    

                   

is that, you know, we could have

captured a lot of flies in our mouth...



    

                   

because we stood there

and listened to them like this.



    

                   

I know what I had to go through

to learn those songs.



    

                   

And for them to learn them and be able to

perform them at the level that they do...



    

                   

you know, it's quite inspiring.



    

                   

And yes, I think it will be

an historical event...



    

                   

that I play with them

on "Inca Roads" of all songs.



    

                   

It helps me understand

a lot of what I did with Frank on the-



    

                   

on the albums that I did.



    

                   

It helps me to understand,

you know...



    

                   

why I had intuitions

to do it a certain way...



    

                   

or why, you know, I had such a level

of tenacity and, you know, intensity.



    

                   

Because I was preparing

teaching tools for them.



    

                   

But we didn't know it

at the time.



    

                   

But when I saw them, and I went,

like, "Oh, that's why. Now I understand."



    

                   

On Ruth, on Ruth

Ha, ha, that's Ruth



    

                   

I think we got a winner.



    

                   

Okay, what's gonna happen, as soon as

we break here and these guys start playing...



    

                   

we're gonna get all the gear

right by there, okay?



    

                   

On "Inca Roads,"

we're gonna do the opposite thing.



    

                   

We're gonna put the saxophone

on the left side.



    

                   

You're out of tune,

your song gets cut, okay?



    

                   

Okay, keyboard players,

don't turn down during your solos.



    

                   

Play with distortion.



    

                   

You always play with distortion.

Play with distortion.



    

                   

One, two, three. Okay?



    

                   

- How many guitars are there?

- I already went through this. Two.



    

                   

Don't just be dumb when you're not-



    

                   

Do something

when you're not playing, okay?



    

                   

With Mike's drum solo

ending with a flourish of some type...



    

                   

I will count off

one, two, three, four.



    

                   

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Paul Green School of Rock...



    

                   

from Philadelphia.



    

                   

Three hundred years ago

I thought I might get some sleep



    

                   

I stretched myself out

on an antique bed



    

                   

And my spirit

did a midnight creep



    

                   

You know I'll never

sleep no more



    

                   

It seemed to me

like itjust ain't wise



    

                   

Did you ever wake up

in the morning



    

                   

With a Zomby Woof

behind your eyes



    

                   

Just about as evil

as you could be



    

                   

I am the Zomby Woof



    

                   

I'm the creature

all the ladies been talkin'about



    

                   

I am the Zomby Woof



    

                   

They all seek for shelter

when I come chargin'out



    

                   

Tellin'you all the Zomby troof



    

                   

Here am is the Zomby Woof



    

                   

Tellin'you all the Zomby troof



    

                   

Here am is



    

                   

All together now!

Let's go!



    

                   

Did a vehicle come from

somewhere out there



    

                   

Just to land in the Andes



    

                   

Was it round

and did it have



    

                   

A motor



    

                   

Or was it something different



    

                   

Sure was something different.



    

                   

I ain't never seen nothing

like this in my entire life.



    

                   

- Why'd you go sharpen it?

- Whose python boots are those anyway?



    

                   

On Ruth, on Ruth

Ha, ha, that's Ruth



    

                   

Let's hear it

for the School of Rock.



    

                   

It feels pretty good.



    

                   

Yeah. Was it first time

you was in concert?



    

                   

Oh, yeah.

It was my first time.



    

                   

I can't tell you

how much I enjoyed that, man.



    

                   

And the work that you're doing...



    

                   

- I hope you continue with this, man.

- Yes.



    

                   

They're phenomenal.



    

                   

Thoroughly enjoyable.



    

                   

And they chose some of the hardest music

in the world to learn.



    

                   

It doesn't get

any better than that.



    

                   

You get me to my knees,

hey, that's it.



    

                   

That's everything.

It brought me to my knees.



    

                   

God bless every one of them.



    

                   

The greatest success of my life.



    

                   

Right there-

Oh, my baby-



    

                   

Then the greatest success

of my life.



    

                   

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.



    

                   

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.



    

                   

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.



    

                   

Thank you. Thank you.

God bless you all.



    

                   

Good night.



    

                   

Thanks, everybody.

Good night.



    

                   

Thanks, Paul.

You're the man.



    

                   

Thank you. Most of us or some of us

will be back next year.



    

                   

We will see you.

Thanks to Wolfheart, Jim Cohen-



    

                   

Rock School is many things

to many people.



    

                   

And to me,

it was a life-changing event.



    

                   

Oh, I don't like that.

Let me try again.



    

                   

My dream is still to be a rock star.



    

                   

I wanna be, like, a legend.



    

                   

And as far as

coming to that- to that goal...



    

                   

I have to say

I just got a little bit closer.



    

                   

Paul is not Rock School.



    

                   

Rock School is bigger than Paul.



    

                   

And I think he knows it.



    

                   

No, I don't like that.



    

                   

This is gonna sound cheesy,

but, you know, you can do anything.



    

                   

I didn't think I could play

half of the riffs that I can play.



    

                   

When I first got here I was fucking

playing Sheryl Crow, you know.



    

                   

I was strumming open "D" chords

and, you know...



    

                   

Paul taught me that, you know...



    

                   

I could think about things and

figure things out for myself.



    

                   

Not just, you know,

like the normal songs.



    

                   

I can figure Zappa out, you know.



    

                   

I could play this shit and make it sound

like it's supposed to be played.



    

                   

I wouldn't say it was a learning thing

so much as it was an experience.



    

                   

Something that I will always remember is,

like, my youth and things like that.



    

                   

And the friendships

I've made there are lasting.



    

                   

And as a social misfit, that's been

very crucial to my development.



    

                   

I just, you know, I hope

it was a great experience, you know.



    

                   

I hope, and I hope they see

that life can be more than...



    

                   

you know, whatever, you know.



    

                   

I hope they can see that they're capable

of amazing things.



    

                   

And that, you know,

really are, you know-



    

                   

I don't mean to be cheesy...



    

                   

but our humanity

is tied up in things like playing music.



    

                   

That's where our humanity is.

That's why we're not chimps.



    

                   

I wouldn't mind being a chimp,

but we are human.



    

                   

So, you know, like I always say,

if you major in the humanities-



    

                   

The humanities are philosophy

and poetry and literature and music.



    

                   

And that's what makes us human.



    

                   

And to hone our crafts

is to hone our humanity, you know.



    

                   

And hopefully

they'll continue to do that.



    

                   

If I was giving you guys

the opportunity to end the movie...



    

                   

by saying one-

anything you guys wanted to say...



    

                   

it could be about Rock School,

it could be about anything...



    

                   

this would be the last thing

after you watch the whole movie...



    

                   

you guys would be up there

as the last people on the screen...



    

                   

- what would you say?

- Look at the camera and say it. Lean in.



    

                   

Tell the American audience



    

                   

what you want them to know

about Rock School.



    

                   

- If Don gave me- gave me a chance-

- Tucker and I.



    

                   

If Don gave Tucker and I

a chance to say the last thing...



    

                   

in the end of- of the movie...



    

                   

I would say "Party on."



    

                   

If Don gave- gave me a chance...



    

                   

to be the last person

in the documentary on Rock School...



    

                   

I'd say "Long live rock."



    

                   

Well, we got no choice



    

                   

All you girls and boys



    

                   

Making all that noise



    

                   

'Cause they found new toys



    

                   

Well, we can't salute you

Can't find a flag



    

                   

If that don't suit ya

that's a drag



    

                   

School's out for summer



    

                   

Yeah



    

                   

School's out forever



    

                   

School's been blown

to pieces



    

                   

No more pencils



    

                   

No more books



    

                   

No more teacher's



    

                   

Dirty looks



    

                   

Oh, yeah



    

                   

If it's good, I will change my attitude,

and we'll do an hour of solid-



    

                   

If it's bad, we all

come right back in this room-



    

                   

Paul, but don't be-



    

                   

And I tell the story of how

I lost my virginity, okay?



    

                   

And it wasn't-

it wasn't a nice story.



    

                   

It wasn't a nice story.



    

                   

- It smelled like nicotine and-

- Ahh! Stop!



    

                   

- Whale oil.

- Stop.



    

                   

School's out for summer



    

                   

Yeah



    

                   

School's out forever



    

                   

School's been blown

to pieces



    

                   

No more pencils



    

                   

No more books



    

                   

No more teacher's



    

                   

Dirty looks



    

                   

Out for summer



    

                   

Out till fall



    

                   

We might not

come back at all



    

                   

School's out forever



    

                   

School's out for summer



    

                   

School's out with fever



    

                   

My school's out completely



    

                   

My life would probably

be really boring...



    

                   

if I wasn't in Rock School.



    

                   

Rock School is, like, probably

my favorite place in the entire world.



    

                   

Hottest band in town.









 
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