Voila! Finally, the Sandlot
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the baseball movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Sandlot. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
There is one all-time greatest moment in the history of sports,
and it happened in the 1932 World Series.
The story goes that in the bottom of the ninth inning with two outs,
a full count and the tying run on base,
Babe Ruth raised his arm and pointed to the center field bleachers.
No one believed it, because nobody had ever done it before.
But The Babe was calling his shot.
On the next pitch, the Great Bambino hit a towering home run.
And even although he'd been a hero before that,
that's pretty much how he became a legend.
Thirty years later, a kid named Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez...
became a neighborhood legend.
It was in the greatest summer of my life...
when he taught me to play baseball,
and he became my best friend.
And he got me out of the biggest pickle I'd ever be in.
['50s Rock]
It's finger poppin'
Poppin' time
I feel so good
And that's a real good sign
[ Kids Shouting ]
Here comes Mary Here comes Sue
Here comes Johnny and Bobby too
It's finger pop
Poppin' time
I feel so good
- And that's a real good sign - Go! Go! Go!
[ Shouting Continues ]
I feel so good
And that's a real good sign
[ Snapping Fingers ]
Come over at : .
All right. See you later.
I moved to the neighborhood two weeks before school let out.
It was the same summer that Dodger Maury Wills would break the stolen bases record.
It was the same summer that Dodger Maury Wills would break the stolen bases record.
So with something that incredible going on,
it should've started off with loads of great things happening for me,
but it didn't.
I was from another state, and I didn't have a single friend in a thousand miles.
It was a lousy way to end up the fifth grade,
'cause I had zip time to make friends before summer.
And that's about where it all started.
My real dad died when I was just a little kid.
My mom had married Bill about a year before we moved to the Valley.
At the time, he and I were still getting used to each other.
- [ Knocking ] - Yeah.
- Um, Dad? - Mm-hm m?
I -I mean Bill.
- Remember you-- you promised you'd teach me to play catch? - Mm-hmm.
Um,
w-well, could you teach me?
Yeah. Sure.
Okay.
- Okay? - Thanks.
Sorry.
[Man Narrating] I'd followed them to the sandlot once after school.
- I'd never seen any place like it. - [ Boys Shouting ]
It was like their own little baseball kingdom or something.
It was the greatest place I'd ever seen anyway.
- Bertram. - But they were good,
- real good. - Come on, Bertram!
And all I had was a plastic toy mitt that my grandmother gave me...
for my birthday when I was six.
But when I finally got up enough guts to go out there and try and make friends,
I found out that they never kept score, they never chose sides,
they never even really stopped playing the game.
It just went on forever. Every day they picked up where they left off the day before.
- It was like an endless dream game. - Come on! Come on!
There was only eight of them, so they didn't have a whole team.
So even though I didn't know how to play, I figured I could be the ninth man...
and maybe just stand in the outfield somewhere and take up space.
- Squints! - Of course, if I'd have known what was gonna happen when I got there,
- I got it! - I probably never would've gone.
- Nice catch. - Yeah.
- Come on! - [ Rustling ]
[ Dog Barking ]
[ Clattering, Banging ]
[ Growling ]
Come on, Benny, hit a homer!
- Come on! - Hey, batter, batter, batter!
- Whoa! - Watch out!
[ Boys Shouting ]
- [ Screams ] - [ All Laughing ]
Okay, I'll get it! Get it.
Don't be a goofus. Don't be a goofus! Don't be a goofus!
[Rumbling Sound, Dog Growling]
- Throw the ball back! Come on! - Yeah, hurry up!
[Barking]
We are waiting!
Come on! Throw it!
[Boys Shouting]
[ Shouting Continues ]
- Come on, toss me the ball! - Come on!
Come on!
[ Boys Laughing ]
- Oh, my God! - [ Laughing Continues ]
My life's over.
Did you see that hand?
[Boys Chattering, Laughing]
[Man Narrating] If it wasn't for Benny,
I never would've made a single friend that summer,
'cause all the rest of those guys thought I was a lost cause.
- Even before we became friends, - [ Mechanical Whirring ]
Benny and me were connected, connected for the one moment later that summer...
when I'd get us all into the biggest pickle...
any of us had ever seen.
[ Knocking ]
Night, hon. [ Grunts ]
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom. It was an accident.
Scotty, have you made any friends yet?
- No. - Why not, honey?
'Cause I'm still new.
I don't want you sitting around in here all summer fiddling with this stuff...
like you did last summer and the one before.
I know you're smart, and I'm proud of you.
I want you to get out into the fresh air and make some friends.
Run around, scrape your knees, get dirty.
Climb trees, hop fences.
Get into trouble, for crying out loud.
Not too much, but some. You have my permission.
How many mothers do you know who say something like that to their sons?
[ Chuckles ] Well, none mothers, I guess.
Honey, I want you to make some friends this summer. Lots of them.
Yeah, I know.
But I'm not good at anything, Mom.
Face it, I'm just an egghead.
Honey, you'll always be just an egghead with an attitude like that.
[TV: Indistinct]
[ Whispering ] Well?
Well?
- He's too busy, Mom. - Oh, no, honey, he's not. He has some time.
You go on back out there and ask him.
[TV Continues ]
- Uh, Bill, uh-- - Yeah?
I mean, Dad, uh, can we--
I mean, could you, like you said, teach me to play catch?
Yeah. Sure.
But I gotta get this done, okay?
- Okay, thanks. - All right.
- Bill? - Yeah?
Uh, couldn't you take a break and teach him now?
- Mom, it's okay, really. - Honey,
I said I would, and I will, but I'm under the gun here.
How long could it take?
Can't you spare half an hour and show him now?
- Mom, really, it's okay. - All right.
Okay. I'll get my glove.
See? I told you.
Oh, great.
All right, Scotty, get down to that end of the yard.
Okay.
Now, the key to this game is keeping your eye on the ball.
No matter whether you're in the field or at bat, eye on the ball, okay?
All right. Uh, yeah. I think so.
Where the ball goes, your glove should go. Got it?
Okay.
Okay. All right.
[ Grunts ]
Darn. Sorry.
It's all right. All right.
Um-- Uh, here.
Okay.
Okay, I'm ready.
Eye on the ball, okay? Got it?
Okay.
If the ball moves, move your glove. Got it?
Yeah.
All right. Here we go.
Okay. You just need a bigger glove. Throw it back to me this time.
Throw it back.
Okay. Scotty, keep your eye on the ball.
Okay. Got it.
Okay.
Ow! Oh, my eye!
Ow! Ow! Oh!
Ow! Ow!
- What happened? - [ Groans ] My eye.
- Honey, get some ice. Ice. - No, I got it.
- Here you go. - Those were for dinner.
- Oh! -Just hold it up there.
Nice and hard. Press it against-- Yeah.
- I just took my eye off the ball, Mom. - Yeah, but you caught it.
- [Groaning] -Just keep that on for, like, an hour.
It'll still be black, but it won't swell.
Sorry.
Gotta watch out for that curve.
[ Crying ]
Hey.
I'm gonna play some ball. We need an extra guy. You wanna go?
- No. Thanks. - Why not? Don't you like baseball?
- Oh, yeah, but-- - But what?
But my glove-- it's busted.
Uh, see? Now I can't go. Thanks, though.
It's okay.
I got an extra one.
Come on. Let's go.
Mom, I'm gonna go play some ball!
I'll be back in a little while.
Come on. Let's go.
- And I'm Babe Ruth. - [Boys Chattering]
Listen. Ready?
Check this out.
[ Muffled ] I'm the Great Bambino.
[ Boys ] What?
- I'm the Great Bambino. - [ All ] What?
I'm the Great Bambino.
[ All ] Oh!
Who's that?
What?
[Scotty Narrating] I had no idea who they were talking about.
- What did he say? - What, were you born in a barn, man?
Yeah, what planet are you from?
[Scotty Narrating] But there was no way I could let them know.
You never heard of the Sultan of Swat?
The Titan of Terror?
- The Colossus of Clout? - The Colossus of Clout!
- The King of Crash, man. - [Scotty Narrating] So I lied.
Oh, yeah, the Great Bambino. Of course.
I thought you said, "the Great Bambi."
That wimpy deer?
Yeah. I guess. Sorry.
Anyway, Scott, that's Timmy and Tommy Timmons,
Mike "Squints" Palledorous,
Alan McClellan-- we call him Yeah-Yeah--
Bertram Grover Weeks,
Kenny DeNunez and Hamilton Porter.
We call him Ham. Guys, this is Scott Smalls.
Hi.
Yeah, um, wel I, he's gonna play with us 'cause he makes nine.
Now we've got a whole team. We're wasting time. Let's go to the sandlot.
- Benny, it's : in the morning. - It's : .
- Why'd you bring him, Benny? - 'Cause there's eight of us, and he makes nine.
- Why'd you bring him, Benny? - 'Cause there's eight of us, and he makes nine.
Yeah, yeah, so would my sister, but I didn't bring her.
With nine guys we've got a whole team, Yeah-Yeah.
No. With Elswenger we had a whole team.
- Elswenger could catch. - And throw.
Come on, Benny, man. He ain't game.
- You saw the way he threw. - Yeah.
You already fill up all the empty positions since Elswenger moved to Arizona.
Right. And now I get to rotate eight positions instead of seven.
- I need the practice, guys. - You're the best on the team. You don't need any practice.
- No, you don't. - You're the best, man.
Come on, Benny, man. The kid is...
a L- weenie.
Yeah, yeah. Oscar Mayer even. Foot-long!
- Dodger dog! A weenie! - [Boys Laughing]
What are you laughing at, Yeah-Yeah? You run like a duck.
Okay, okay, but I'm-- I'm--
- Part of the game, right? - Mmm, yeah.
Now, how come he don't get to be?
- 'Cause he's a geek, man. - He can't catch.
Man, base up, you blockheads.
Smalls, you take left center, okay?
Okay. Um, where exactly is that?
It's over there, man.
Here?
That's left. I said left center.
Okay. Right.
Here?
Come on, Benny, man.
He's never gonna catch the ball anyway. Let's just play.
- What a jerk. - Yeah-Yeah, get two.
Come on! Throw it in here, Bertram!
- Nice. - Wow!
Good job!
- Hey, Smalls, throw it to second. - Okay.
[ Gasps ]
- Come on, Benny. He's never gonna catch it. - He's not gonna catch it.
[ Grunting ]
Oh! I told you, Benny. We told you.
[Dog Growling]
Come on, Benny. Why'd you do that?
A square, Benny. The kid's a square.
[ Growling Continues ]
Come on. Throw it in.
What the hell's he doing?
I don't believe this.
Here. Sorry. Sorry.
You can throw it, you know.
No.
I can't.
I don't know how.
Thanks for taking me here, but I think I'd better go.
Hey, hey. You think too much.
I bet you get straight A's and shit, huh?
No, I got a "B" once.
Actually an A-minus. But it should've been a "B."
Man, this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking.
You just have fun.
I mean, if you were having fun, you would've caught that ball.
You ever have a paper route?
I helped a guy once.
Okay. Well, chuck it like you would throw a paper.
When your arm gets here, just let go.
Just let go. It's that easy.
How do I catch it?
Just stand there and stick your glove out in the air.
I'll take care of it.
About time, Benny. My clothes are going out of style.
- They already are, Squints. - Shut up!
I told you, Benny.
Smalls, throw it to second.
Okay.
[ Groans ]
- Not again. - [ Spits ]
We're wasting time, Benny.
Please catch it.
Please catch it.
Please catch it. Please catch it.
Yeah!
- All right! - He's all right.
I told you so, man.
Okay.
- Let's play some ball. - Yeah, let's play some ball.
All right. I knew it... all the time.
Yeah!
[Dog Growling]
[Fence Rattling]
[ Gasps ]
I'll show you some more tomorrow, okay?
- Okay. Bye. - You did good.
See you later, Ham. : tomorrow.
- : Benny? - Yeah. See you later, Smalls.
Bye. See you tomorrow.
Benny, wait!
- Your glove. - Keep it, man.
Thanks!
Oh, yeah. Hey, Smalls.
Um, bring a T-shirt and jeans tomorrow, okay?
- Oh, um, you got a fireplace? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, why?
Throw that hat in there, man.
Oh, yeah. You know, it was the only one I had.
Not anymore. Wear my old hat.
: tomorrow morning.
Thanks, Benny. Great. : .
Mom, guess what?
- Hamilton "The Babe" Porter. - [ Chuckles ]
"Long-ball" Porter.
Come on, DeNunez.
[ All Laughing, Taunting ]
Yeah, okay. Yes, I see it. Yes.
[ Boys Shouting ]
- Whoa! - [Boys Laughing]
You call that pitching?
This is baseball, not tennis.
- Give him a tennis racket. - Give me something to hit.
All right, Ham. This is my heater.
- I dare you to hit it. - You'll be sorry.
- Give that boy a bigger bat. - You want the heater, I'll give it to you.
Give him a basketball. Maybe then he'll hit it.
- [Clattering] - Oh, man!
Yeah! That's how you do it.
Ham, you idiot. Now we can't play no more.
Great, you idiot!
Hit me with the heater.
Stupid idiot!
Low and outside. Just like I like it.
I'm gonna hit you!
- Wait a sec. I'll get it. - [Ham] called shot World Series by The Babe.
Called shot by the Babe.
No!
[ All ] No!
[Boys Shouting]
- Smalls, come back! - Hey guys, I'll get it!
- Smalls! - Smalls!
- What are you doing? - Smalls, wait!
- Guys, what are you-- - [ All ] Smalls!
Get off! Guys, I gotta get the ball!
- No, wait! - Get off of me! Now!
- You're gonna get yourself killed! - Killed, man, jeez!
Stop!
Holy crap, you could've been killed.
Yeah, yeah, truly. What are you doing?
You guys were leaving, so I just thought I'd hop the fence--
- If you were thinking, you wouldn't have thought that. - You can't go back there.
- Then how do we get the ball back? - We don't.
- We don't. - It's history.
- It's history. Kiss it-- - Kiss it good-bye. Shut up, Tommy.
It's gone, man. Gone.
Game's over, man. We'll just get another ball tomorrow.
- Yeah. - We'll never see it again.
Why not?
[ All ] The Beast.
What is that?
Smalls, listen to me.
Go to that fence... real slow, and be quiet.
- But... I-I think-- - No, no, no. No, no.
-Just go and peek through that hole. - But I--
-But I saw something. What's back there? -It's okay. Just go.
-Just go. - Go, Smalls.
Come on, Smalls.
[ All ] Shh!
[Boys Whispering]
Shh!
- Shh! - Be quiet.
- [ Growling ] - [ Gasps ]
Something got the ball.
W-What was that thing?
[ All ] Camp out.
In the jungle the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight
[Scotty] Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
- My mom made me put on my jacket, - Shut up!
- and then she made me do the dishes. - [ Boys Laughing]
Your poor little mommy made you do the big bad dishes.
- Hey, you want a s'more? - Some more what?
- No, no, you want a s'more? - [Boys Chattering]
I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
- Shut up! - You're killing me, Smalls.
- All right. Who cut one? - These are s'mores stuff.
- Okay, pay attention. - Bertram!
First you take the graham.
You stick the chocolate on the graham.
- Then you roast the 'mallow. - No, it's my sleeping bag.
When the 'mallow's flaming,
Yes, it is yours. It has a yellow stain on it.
you stick it on the chocolate.
- You're gonna set the place on fire. - Then...
- you cover it with the other end. - Make me one of those.
Yeah, me too.
- Then you stuff. - I don't like that chocolate stuff.
Kind of messy, but good. Try some.
Okay. Quiet, you guys.
- [ Chattering ] - Shh! Shh!
Quiet! Are you trying to wake it up?
It just went to bed.
- What just went to bed? - [ Boys ] Shh!
The Beast.
- Oh, yeah! - Shh!
-Jeez. - Dang.
Shh.
Now quiet.
The legend of The Beast goes back a long time...
before any of us could even pick up a baseball.
Back to a place called Mertle's Acres.
It all started about, mmm, years ago,
when thieves kept stealing junk from Mertle's Acres junkyard.
So Mr. Mertle, the guy that used to own the place,
got him this new pup from the dog pound.
He fed him whole sides of beef...
and turned the pup loose in the junkyard.
And the pup was grateful.
[ Thunderous Footsteps ]
And so, in a few weeks, the pup grew into The Beast.
And he grew big, and he grew mean...
so that he could protect the junkyard with only one thing on his mind:
to kill everyone that broke in.
- And he did, and he liked it a lot! - [ Men Screaming ]
The Beast was the most perfect junkyard dog that ever lived.
A true killing machine.
But after a while, the cops started getting phone calls from people...
reporting all the missing thieves,
the ones The Beast had killed.
It added up to about --
guys.
- It's true. - [ Growling ]
They never found a single body.
Not one. Some people say they all got away.
But we all know what really happened.
The Beast ate them.
He ate them bone and all.
The Beast was too good at his guard dog job,
so the police said he had to be retired.
My grandpa, Squidman Palledorous,
was police chiefback then.
He ordered Mr. Mertle to turn his backyard into a fortress...
and chain up The Beast and put him under the house...
where he could never get out to eat children and stuff.
- That's where he's been for years. - [ Growling ]
And that's where he'll be for the rest of his life.
Because Mr. Mertle asked the cops how long...
he had to keep The Beast chained up like a slave,
they said until forever.
Forever. Forever.
Forever. Forever.
Forever. [ Echoing ]
And so, The Beast sits there under that lean-to,
dreaming of the time when he can break the chain and get out,
dreaming of the time he can chase and kill again.
See, man? That's why you can't go over there.
Nobody ever has. Nobody ever will.
One kid did, but nobody ever seen him again.
- That ain't true. - Yeah, it is.
He got eaten.
Nuh-uh.
No. None of that's true.
You guys are just making this up to scare me.
Oh, yeah?
Stick your head out that window...
and look down.
[Scotty Narrating] That night I learned that more than baseballs...
had gone over that fence and not one of them was ever seen again,
- even when some brave kid... - [ The Beast Growling ]
worked up enough courage to peek over.
Because when they went over, they vanished.
I knew it was true.
- Because when I looked down in there, - [ Growling Continues ]
I didn't see a single solitary one.
- [ Chain Rattling ] - [ Screaming ]
- He's down there. - You bet he is.
Whatever goes over that fence...
stays there.
It becomes the property of The Beast...
forever.
- Come on, give it to me. - No, I wanna carry it.
- Come on. I paid for it. - I wanna carry it.
- Oh. Whoa! - Give it to me.
- There goes my baby - Jeez Louise.
- What's the matter? - Jeez.
Movin' on down the line
Wonderin' where Wonderin' where
Wonderin' where she is bound
Wendy Peffercorn. Mmm.
- Whoa! - Wow!
Now I'm alone so all alone
What can I do What can I do
- There goes my baby - Whoa-oa-oa
- There goes my baby - Whoa, I-I-I-I
- There goes my baby - Whoa-oa-oa
- There she goes - Yeah
- Come on, let's go. We gotta get-- - No!
- We gotta get to the sandlot. Let's go. - Did she really love me
- [ Chattering ] - Was she just playin'
- Come on. Let's go. - Okay.
[ Panting ] I'm sweating like a pig.
Let's go! Come on!
Where you guys been? We've been waiting here forever already.
Aw, Squints was pervin' a dish.
- Shut up. I wasn't. - Yeah, yeah, you were.
Your tongue was hangin' out of your head, and you was swoonin'.
Oh, Wendy Peffercorn, my darling lover girl. [ Chuckles ]
I said shut up!
I've got a lot of things on my mind.
This pop isn't working, Benny.
I'm baking like a toasted cheeser! It's so hot here!
It's degrees out there. You can't play baseball.
- You have to call it for the day. - You gotta listen to him, Benny.
Vote then. Anybody who wants to be...
a "can't hack it" panty waist...
who wears their mama's bra, raise your hand.
- Yeah, I can handle that. - [ Chattering In Agreement ]
Fine, fine, fine!
Be like that.
So what are we gonna do?
[ Laughing ]
Scam pool honeys!
[Scotty Narrating] Benny would've played ball all day, all night, rain,
shine, tidal wave, whatever.
Baseball was the only thing he cared about.
But of all the things we ever did besides baseball,
going to the pool was what he tolerated best.
Even though none of us had ever seen a Playboy magazine,
- which we constantly lied about, - Hi.
we figured going to the pool was the next best thing to being there.
I remember you. Oh, sexy.
Hey, girls.
Cannonball!
[ Women Screaming ]
[ Scotty Narrating ] It wasn't really the pool honeys like we said,
because if any one of them had come up to any one of us, we'd have just peed our pants.
We all went because--
well, because Wendy Peffercorn was the lifeguard.
- Aw, man. - Yeah, yeah. Too cool.
[ Timmy ] She don't know what she's doing.
[ Tommy ] She don't know what she's doing.
[ Benny ] Yeah, she does.
She knows exactly what she's doing.
I've swum here every summer of my adult life.
And every summer, there she is,
lotioning, oiling, oiling, lotioning.
- One day it became too much... - Smiling.
- for Michael "Squints" Palledorous. - Smiling!
I can't take this no more!
- Move! - And he did the most desperate thing...
- Lotioning, oiling. - any of us...
- had ever seen. - Lotioning,
oiling.
[ Chuckles ]
- What's wrong with him? - What's he doing?
Three summers of this. I think he finally snapped.
I don't know. But that's the deep end, and Squints can't swim.
[ Shuddering ]
[ Giggles ]
[ All Shouting ]
[Shouting Continues ]
- Somebody help him! - Squints!
Somebody help him! Come on!
[ Shouting Continues ]
Move back. Move back.
- Okay, I got him. I got him. - Come on up, Wendy.
Everybody move back. Move back. Roll him over.
Never mind! Never mind!
- Come on, Squints. - [ Exhaling Forcefully]
- Come on, Squints. - Come on!
- Squints! - [ Exhaling Forcefully]
- Come on, Squints. Squints. - Come on, Squints. Come on.
- Wake up. - Come on, breathe, would you?
Come on, Squints! You can do it! Pull through, bud!
- Come on, man! Come on! - Yeah, yeah. He looks pretty crappy.
Squints! Come on, man.
Oh, God, he looks like a dead fish.
[ Boys ] What?
- This magic moment - [ Muffled Grunt ]
- [ Screams ] Little pervert! - So different
- Oh, man, he's in deep shit. - And so new
- [Boys Shouting] - Was like any other
Until I kissed you
And then it happened
It took me by surprise
I knew that you felt it too
- By the look in your eyes - And stay out!
Sweeter than wine
Softer than the summer night
Everything I want I have
Whenever I hold you tight
This magic moment
While your lips are close to mine
Will last forever
Oh, hey, here's your glasses. Did you plan that?
Of course I did. I been planning it for years.
You guys, he planned that! He knew what he was doing!
Oh, magic
Michael "Squints" Palledorous walked a little taller that day.
We had to tip our hats to him.
He was lucky she hadn't beat the crap out of him.
We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky,
rotten and low... and cool.
Not another one among us would've ever in a million years...
even for a million dollars had the guts to put the move on the lifeguard.
He did. He had kissed a woman,
and he had kissed her long and good.
We got banned from the pool forever that day.
But every time we walked by after that,
the lifeguard looked down from her tower,
- This magic moment - right over at Squints...
- and smiled. - While your lips are close to mine
[ Boys Laughing, Chattering ]
- O beautiful - [ Knocking ]
- Get your glove and come on. - What's the big deal?
- Night game. Come on. Come on. - Mom, I'm going out!
In liberating strife
Who more than self
- [Fireworks Whistling] - The country loved
[Scotty Narrating] There was only one night game a year.
- Guys, wait up! - On the th of July...
the whole sky would brighten up with fireworks,
giving us just enough light for a game.
We played our best then because, I guess, we all felt like the big leaguers...
under the lights of some great stadium.
Benny felt like that all the time.
We all knew he was gonna go on to bigger and better games,
because every time we stopped to watch the sky on those nights like regular kids,
he was there to call us back.
You see, for us, baseball was a game.
But for Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez,
baseball was life.
- [ Boys Shouting ] - And every grain divine
- Okay, hit it! - Yeah, yeah, come on, Benny.
O beautiful
For spacious skies
- For amber waves of grain - [ Fireworks Whistling, Crackling ]
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain
Now wait a minute.
I'm talking about--
America
Sweet
America
You know--
God done shed His grace on thee
He-He-He crowned thy good
Yes, He did.
In a brotherhood
- Man! - From sea
To shining sea
[ Boys Shouting ]
[ Boys Shouting ]
- Come on! Hurry up! - First!
Run!
Back off!
Yeah, yeah!
- Throw it in! Throw it in! - Get him! Get him!
Come on! Come on! Come on!
- Come on! Hurry up! - Go, Benny!
- [ Groaning ] - Oh, damn!
Oh, no!
It's easy when you play with a bunch of rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
- Shut your mouth, Phillips. - What'd you say, crap face?
I said you shouldn't even be allowed to touch a baseball.
Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Come on! We'll take you on right here, right now!
- Come on! - [ All Shouting In Agreement ]
We play on a real diamond, Porter.
You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
- Watch it, jerk. - Shut up, idiot!
- Moron! - Scab eater!
- Butt sniffer! - Pus licker!
- Fart smeller! - [ Sniffing ] Ah!
You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek.
You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
[ All ] Yeah!
You bob for apples in the toilet and you like it.
- Ooh. - You play ball like a girl!
[ Laughing ]
- What did you say? - You heard me.
Tomorrow.
Noon. At our field.
Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Count on it, pee-drinking crap face!
[ All ] Yeah!
Let's go!
[ Chattering ]
We're gonna kick their butts tomorrow.
Yeah!
- Good job. -Jerks.
Play ball!
Hurry up, batter.
It's gonna be a short game, and I gotta get home for lunch.
[ Snickers ] That's one.
You know, if I had a dog as ugly as you,
I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.
The heater.
Here it comes. I dare you.
Strike three. You're out.
Hey, is that your sister out there in left field, naked?
- She's naked. - Shut up, Porter!
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm just trying to have a little friendly conversation.
Come on. You think she'd go out with me?
Come on. Show me your stuff.
- Let's see what you got. - Hey, batter, batter, batter!
- Take him out! - [Boys Shouting]
- Come on! - Bring it in!
- Oh! Beat ya. - [ Shouting Continues ]
Throw it to third!
[Scotty Narrating ] We were all walking on air that night.
It had been a solid victory.
In fact, we beat the crap out of those guys.
So we all went to celebrate.
And we did the stupidest thing...
any of us had ever done.
- Hey, guys, it's all on me tonight. - [ All Shouting ]
Thanks, Benny!
Nine tickets, please.
- Hey, Benny. - Thanks.
- Hey, Benny. - Benny.
- Come on, you guys! - What about me? Thanks.
Aw, crap! I almost forgot!
- What? - What?
Chaw! I was saving it for a good time.
- What is it? - Big Chief.
[ Sniffing ] The best!
Jeez, Smalls. I suppose you don't even know who The Babe is either.
It's plug. Wad. Chewing tobacco.
- 'Baccy, man. - What do you do with it?
You're killing me, Smalls.
- Chew it, of course. Yes. - You do?
Yeah, sure, man. All the pros do it.
Yeah, yeah. Gives you tons of energy.
- Let's dip. Let's dip. - You got it, guys.
Come on. I want some.
- Mm. Mm. - Mm.
- The best. - Let's ride!
- Yeah! - Yeah!
[' s Rock ]
Mm!
[ Continues ]
- Yeah-hah! - Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo! - Squints, this is the best!
Wow! Yeah! Whoo!
All right!
Tequila
Yeah!
[ Moaning ]
Blech!
[ Moaning Continues ]
[ Moans ]
Tequila
- [Vomiting ] - [Vomiting]
- [Vomiting] - [Women Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
- [ Belching ] - Tequila
[ Belches ] Oh, that feels better.
I'll be back in an hour. I'm gonna take your dad to the airport.
Oh, okay.
Honey, are you feeling all right? You look kind of pale.
- I'm fine, Mom. - You sure?
- I'm fine, really. - All right.
Listen, Scott.
While I'm gone, you're the man of the house. Understand?
- Okay. - Okay.
- Where are you going? - Chicago.
On business for a week.
- We'll take another stab at catch when I get back, all right? - Yeah, I guess so.
- Take care of things for me. - Okay.
- All right? - I will.
Okay. Be a good boy.
- I will. - Okay.
[Scotty Narrating] A couple days after we all got over acting like big shots,
we swore off the hard stuff forever and just stuck to Bazooka.
But the day we all got back together for some baseball...
was the day I got us into the biggest pickle of all time,
and it all started with an omen.
Oh, man.
I don't believe it.
- Bitchin'. - [ Benny ] Nah, it ain't.
Come on. Maybe two or three guys in history...
ever busted the guts out of a ball.
- Must be an omen. - All's it means is that we can't play no more.
It's only : and I just ruined the whole day for us.
No, you didn't. That's the most amazing thing I ever saw.
- Yeah. - [Benny] Anybody got any money?
- [ All ] No. - Then it ain't okay, 'cause now we can't play no more.
Yeah, we can.
What, you got extra cents lying around, Smalls?
- No, but I got a ball. - [ All ] Go get it!
I got it, guys! I got it! I got the ball, guys!
I got it. Right here, guys.
I got the ball. I got it.
- Here, Benny. I got it. - Bitchin'. Your ball, your ups.
- Here you go. - Okay.
All right. Come on. Kenny, here.
Come on. Yeah, come on!
Batter up!
[Sighs ] Your fly's open.
[ Snickers ] There's one.
One, two, three.
Three strikes, three pitches.
[ All ] Hey, batter, batter, batter!
- Come on, Smalls! - Hey, batter, batter, batter!
Oh, my. Oh, man.
- Run! - Yes!
Way to go, school meat! I taught him everything.
[ All Shouting ]
Oh, man, that was great. That went clear over.
Hey, uh, Smalls, third base is that way.
Hey, Smalls. Smalls.
- Go to third. - Oh, no. Oh, no.
Yeah! Nice hit, Smalls. Nice hit. Yeah!
- Oh, no. - It's outta here! Who's got the big bat now?
- [ All ] Smalls! Smalls! Smalls! - Smalls?
You forgot to turn.
You go to third base!
Smalls--
What the hell's he doing?
Maybe the shock of his first homer was just too much for him.
Yeah.
- [ Chattering ] - Smalls.
Smalls? Smalls.
[The Beast Growling]
- We got to get that ball back. - Oh, yeah, right.
- Good one, Smalls. - [Laughing] Yeah, good one, Smalls.
Hey, forget about it, man. Let's get another ball.
No, you don't understand!
Sure, we do. You feel bad 'cause you belted a homer. Now we can't play no more.
No, you don't understand! That wasn't my ball!
What do you mean, that wasn't your ball?
It was my stepdad's.
I stole it from his trophy room.
It was a present or something. Somebody gave it to him.
We gotta get it back. He's gonna kill me!
Ohh.
Listen to me, Smalls.
It's a matter of life and death.
Where did your old man get that ball?
What? I don't know. Some lady gave it to him.
- Why? - What? Some lady?
Yeah. She even signed her name on it. Some lady named...
Ruth, Baby Ruth.
[ All Shouting ] Babe Ruth?
[ Shouting Continues ]
[The Beast Growling]
No!
[ All Shouting ]
The Beast got it.
- You're dead as a doornail, Smalls. - You're dead as a doornail.
Smalls, you mean to tell me that you went home and swiped a ball...
that was signed by Babe Ruth,
- and you brought it here and actually played with it? - Actually played with it?
- Yeah, but I was gonna bring it back. - But it was signed by Babe Ruth.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You keep telling me that. Who is she?
What?
What?
- The Sultan of Swat. - The King of Crash.
- The Colossus of Clout. - The Colossus of Clout.
[Together] Babe Ruth!
The Great Bambino!
Oh, my God! You mean that's the same guy?
[ All ] Yes!
Smalls, Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player that ever lived.
People say he was less than a god but more than a man.
You know, like Hercules or something.
That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth,
well, more than your whole life.
[ Groans ] I don't feel so good.
- Uh-oh, fan him. - Give him air, give him air.
We have to get that ball back.
- When does your old man get home from work? - He's gone on business.
Out of town. But he could be back anytime.
All right. Find out when.
And, guys, spread out and look for bottles and cash 'em in.
We need cents. We gotta buy us a ball.
- Yeah! - [ Chattering ]
- Come on. Let's go! - Go, go, go, go! Move, move!
Come on. Open it up! Hurry up, hurry up!
- Give me the ball. - Give me something to write with.
- I got a pencil. - Give me a pen, not a pencil!
- Sorry. - I got a pen.
Babe--
- Baby Ruthie? - It says, "Babe Ruth."
- I don't know, Benny, man. - Yeah, boy, that looks pretty crappy.
It doesn't matter what it looks like.
His mom's never gonna know the difference.
- This'll just buy us some time, you dorks. - Okay, come on.
- Scotty? - [ Gasps ] Uh, in here, Mom.
Oh, hi, honey. What are you doing in here?
Uh, just looking at Bill's--
I mean, uh, Dad's baseball.
You know he doesn't like you to touch his things.
Yeah. I-- I know. Sorry, Mom.
Has he ever told you about that ball?
Uh, no. Uh, not really.
I-- I don't think so. No, no, no, he hasn't at all.
I don't-- I don't know anything about it.
Babe Ruth signed that ball. He was...
the greatest baseball player who ever lived.
- Oh. Really? [ Chuckles ] - He sure is.
Your dad's father gave it to him.
Maybe someday he'll give it to you.
Oh.
Neat. [ Chuckles ]
[Scotty Narrating] It was salt in an open wound.
Even my own mom, a grown-up girl,
knew who Babe Ruth was.
I was dead meat.
We had thought that that ball Benny had busted the guts out of...
meant something amazing was gonna happen.
Now I just figured it meant my life was over.
Hey, I got it!
Why don't we just go over...
and knock on the door and ask Mr. Mertle if he can get it for us?
Are you out of your mind? Mr. Mertle's the meanest old man that ever lived.
He's the one who made The Beast eat that kid.
It's not an option, Smalls. Forget about it!
Oh, okay. Sorry. I -- I will.
Let's just look out the window.
Good idea.
[ The Beast Growling]
[ Snarls ]
- He's daring us. - We're on his territory now.
Anybody got any bright ideas?
[Scotty Narrating] After we'd all thought about it real hard,
we had absolutely no idea what the hell we were gonna do.
So things started primitively.
Go.
- Farther. - Farther, okay.
-Just a little bit farther. - Farther. Farther.
- Aah! - [ All Yelling ]
Oh, no! Aah!
Farther.
[ Creaking ]
Go to the right a little bit. Put the back to the right.
[ Creaking ]
A little bit farther.
- Farther? - Guys, I see it. Turn, turn.
Almost.
You got it. Pull it back.
- I got it! - Got it, guys.
- [ Snarls ] - Oh, my God!
Pull it back! Aah!
[ All Screaming ]
[ Snarls ]
[ Growling]
I think we've seriously underestimated The Beast.
Obviously, we're dealing with a superior intelligence.
- Power. - Okay, guys, almost ready.
We're connecting power now.
Power connected.
Okay, we're ready.
Initiate retrieval suction.
Initiate retrieval suction.
Initiate retrieval suction.
- Prepare to initiate retrieval suction number one. - Okay. Get ready, guys.
Initiate retrieval suction number one.
Initiating retrieval suction number one now!
[ Whirring ]
- Fire number two. - Initiate number two.
Firing two now!
[ Grunting ]
- Fire number three. - Number three now!
Whoa!
Ha! You got it. Haul it up.
All right!
- Pull it up. - [ Snarls ]
[ All Screaming ]
- What's going on, Squints? - The pipe-- it's pinched shut.
- Turn it off, man! - I can't! They're shorting out!
- What the hell is that noise? - [ Whirring Continues ]
The vacs are clogged. I don't know about you, but I'm getting outta here.
Let's go!
Oh, no! Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
They're gonna blow! Aah!
[ All Yelling ]
Aah!
Incoming!
[ Sighs ] We've been going about this all wrong.
I blame myself. [ Sighs ]
We need total surprise.
An airborne attack. The Beast will never expect it.
Yeah.
[ Sighs ]
[Snarls ]
- It's clear. - Take me up.
[ Growling, Barks ]
[ Grunts ]
Let me down slow.
- A little slower. - Go slow.
Go.
Yeah, let me down. Almost there.
- He's almost there. - [ Growling]
Let me down right over it.
Let him down right overit.
[ Panting ]
[ Growling]
[Snarls ]
Ewww.
Okay, I got it. Get me outta here.
Pull him up.
[ Growling ]
I-- I-- I-- [ Stammering ]
- Hey, pull him up! - Aah! Aah!
- [ Growling ] - Aah!
[ All Shouting ]
- Aah! - [ Growling ]
- [ All Shouting ] - Aah!
[ All Yelling ]
[Scotty Narrating] It was my last chance.
So we quit messing around and pulled out all the stops.
I collected every piece of erector set I had,
and it finally became...
science against nature.
Okay, go with me on the launch. Come on, Squints.
- Prepare to launch. - Prepare to launch.
Prepare to launch. Launching.
Launch.
Okay, you're on the ground.
[ Growls ]
Moving forward.
[ Growls ]
- You went too far. Go back. - Reverse. It's too far.
Reverse.
Stop.
Drop catapult.
- The catapult is dropped. - Open catapult.
We're gonna get it. I know it.
Opening.
Forward.
[The Beast Growling]
Close catapult.
- Catapult's closed. - We're gonna get it. Come on.
- [ Growling] - Aah! Fire, fire, fire!
I got it! I got it! I got it!
Aah!
[ Screaming ]
[Snarling]
[Boys Whimpering]
[Scotty Narrating] My life... was over.
Just as Bill had finally warmed up to me...
and asked me to be the man of the house,
I had to knock a priceless chunk of history into the clutches of a monster.
Great.
I had a dream that night about a giant baseball...
that was signed by Babe Ruth...
falling out of the sky and hammering me into the ground...
like a railroad spike.
I didn't know what that meant,
but Benny had a dream that night too, and his was a lot more helpful.
[ Crowd Cheering ]
Who's there?
Don't go pee in your pants. I'm just here to give you a hand.
- B-But you're-- - Dead?
Legends never die, kid.
But you're really him.
You're The Babe.
The Sultan of Swat. The King of Crash.
Of Crash, and a hundred other dopey names.
Forget about that stuff, kid. We ain't got much time.
- I'm here 'cause you're in some kind of a pickle, right? - Yeah.
A baseball with my John Hancock on it...
went over a fence and you can't get it back, right?
Yeah, right.
- Then just hop over there and get it. - Wait, wait!
- I can't. - Can't what?
- I can't go into that backyard. - Why not?
There's a beast back there.
What kind?
A giant gorilla-dog thing that ate one kid already.
Is that a fact? Sit down, kid.
Sit down.
Let me tell you something, kid.
Everybody gets one chance to do something great.
Most people never take the chance, either 'cause they're too scared...
or they don't recognize it when it spits on their shoes.
This is your big chance,
and you shouldn't let it go by.
Remember when you busted the guts out of the ball the other day?
Someone's telling you something, kid. If I was you, I'd listen.
Yeah. But what?
[ Chuckles ] You're the one with the rubber legs.
Figure it out.
"Henry Aaron."
-I don't know why, but can I have this? -Sure, yeah.
Thanks.
Wait.
You're saying I should hop over that fence and pickle The Beast?
Think about that, kid. I'll see you later.
[Crowd Cheering]
Remember, kid, there's heroes and there's legends.
Heroes get remembered,
but legends never die.
Follow your heart, kid, and you'll never go wrong.
[ Knocking On Window ]
[ Knocking On Window ]
I had a dream. Get dressed. We're going to the sandlot.
Okay. Wait. I'll get my stuff.
[Scotty Narrating] Only one kid in history had ever attempted...
what Benny was about to,
and he got eaten.
So we were worried-- real worried--
even when Benny brought out the secret weapon:
shoes guaranteed to make a kid run faster and jump higher,
P.F. Flyers.
We can't let him do this, man.
Benny, wait.
It's okay.
It was my fault.
You don't have to do this.
Yeah. Come on, Benny, man. You don't have to do it. Forget about it.
It's like committing suicide, Benny. Don't do it.
- Yeah, don't do it, Benny. - Yeah.
Don't do it. It's suicide.
Yeah, I do, Smalls.
I have to do this.
[Babe Ruth's Voice] Heroes get remembered,
but legends never die.
Follow your heart, kid, and you'll never go wrong.
[ Snorts ]
[ Snorts ]
[ Snarling ]
[ Sniffing ]
[ Gulps ]
[ Barks ]
[ Knuckles Cracking ]
[ Growls ]
[ Barking ]
- Whoa! - [ Boys Cheering ]
[ Shouting ]
- Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah!
- Yeah! All right, Benny! - Oh, shit!
- Wipe out - [ Barks ]
[ Barking ]
Come on! What are we waiting for? Let's get him!
[Barking]
A werewolf can be killed only with a silver bullet...
or a silver knife or a stick...
- with a silver handle. - You're insane.
[ Barking ]
[ Groaning ]
Aah!
Ohh!
- The wolf bit you, didn't he? - Yeah, he did.
Go now. And heaven help you.
- [ Grunts ] - [ Growling ]
[ Audience Shouting, Screaming ]
Wipe out
[Barking]
[ Picnickers Exclaiming ]
Look out! Aah!
Hey! Hey!
[ Gasping ]
- [ Shouting ] - Hey, hey, hey! Kids!
Put it down. Careful, careful.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Mommy, Mommy, look. A doggy!
[Woman Screaming]
- Ooh, a big doggy. - [ People Shouting ]
[ Girls Screaming]
- Ohh! - Look out! Look out!
Look out! Sandlot, sandlot, sandlot!
Sandlot! Let's go!
This way! Sandlot! Shortcut, you guys! Let's go!
[ Barking ]
[ Panting ] Where is he?
Does anyone see him?
I don't see him.
There he is!
[ Barking ]
Oh, no.
- [ Cloth Rips ] - [ Groans ]
[ Barking ]
Aah! [ Grunts ]
[ Growls ]
Look out!
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
[Whimpering]
Come on, guys. Help me!
Please!
Benny! Benny, help me, please! He's hurt!
Come on. I can't lift it.
- [The Beast Whimpering] - [ Grunting ]
Let's go.
Wow!
Aw.
- Wow! - [Benny] Now we can play forever.
Hello?
This is bad.
This is very bad.
Um, we-- we-- we brought your dog home.
Hercules?
How'd he get out?
I'm telling you guys, we should've just turned it loose.
Um, uh, well, uh-- We, uh--
What happened was, we hit a baseball into your yard. We tried to get it back.
- So you're the ones that've been making all that racket. - Yes, sir.
You get it?
Um, y-yeah.
Well, first time...
that anybody ever got the best of old Hercules.
Why didn't you just knock on the door? I'd have gotten it for you.
- [ All Shouting ] - Oh, my God!
I can't believe you!
- We got the ball back, didn't we? - We almost got killed!
Didn't we get the ball back? Just shut up!
We got the ball back.
Thanks for bringing him home.
Come on in.
We'll talk about this baseball.
Come on.
You in trouble, aren't you, son?
Yeah, well, uh, that was my stepdad's ball.
I took it without asking.
- It was signed by Babe Ruth. - George signed this?
George Herman Ruth? Yeah.
I take it back. You're not in trouble. You're dead where you stand.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Here.
I'll trade ya.
That's nice of you, but that ball really is signed by Babe Ruth.
So's this one, with the rest of the Yankees.
Oh, man. Murderer's Row!
Lou Gehrig!
[Scotty] Babe Ruth! But why would you trade?
That one's all chewed up.
I got a lot of good stuff. Look at that stuff.
Besides, you need it more than I do.
You knew Babe Ruth?
George? I sure did. And he knew me.
He was almost as great a hitter as I was.
- I would've broken his record, but-- - You went blind.
Yep. I used to crowd the plate...
so the strike zone almost disappeared.
[ Laughs ] Pitchers hate that.
That's the way I played-- % all the time.
Baseball was life.
And I was good at it, real good.
And then... one day,
a high fast one, and pow,
lights went out.
I don't think we could take this ball.
I'll tell you what.
You guys come by once a week and talk baseball with me, we'll call it an even trade.
Deal!
[Scotty Narrating] Even though Bill loved the Murderer's Row ball,
he was still plenty mad about me having swiped...
his Babe Ruth autographed ball and ruining it.
So I didn't feel too bad when he grounded me for a week...
instead of the rest of my life.
Wow!
Things worked out between me and him.
And from then on, I didn't have any trouble...
just calling him Dad all the time.
We all lived together in the neighborhood for a couple of more years--
mostly through junior high school-- and every summer was great.
But none of them ever came close to that first one.
When one guy would move away,
we never replaced him on the team with anyone else.
We just kept the game going like he was still there.
You're starting to hurt my hand.
[ Boy ] Don't miss it!
[ Scotty Narrating ] It was weird that Benny said...
Babe Ruth was like the Hercules of baseball, and The Beast's name ended up being Hercules.
None of us could figure out what that meant,
but we were all amazed by it.
I kept in touch with those guys over the years,
and I found out that Yeah- Yeah's parents shipped him off to military school.
After the army, he became one of the pioneering developers of bungee jumping.
Of course, we all know why.
Bertram, well-- Bertram got really into the ' s,
and no one ever saw him again.
Timmy and Tommy became an architect and a contractor.
They started out small, designing playground equipment...
and prefabricated tree houses.
But they became multimillionaires...
when they invented mini-malls.
Squints grew up and married Wendy Peffercorn.
They have nine kids.
They bought Vincent's Drugstore, and they still own it to this day.
Hamilton Porter became a professional wrestler.
You know him as The Great Hambino.
DeNunez played triple-A ball, but he never got to the majors.
He owns his own business now, and he coaches a little league team...
that his sons play on called the Heaters.
Hercules lived to be years old--
uh, in doggy years.
I was the last one to move away.
But when I did, the sandlot was still there.
After Benny pickled The Beast, his reputation spread all over town.
From then on, he was known as Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez.
And the nickname stuck with him for the rest of his life.
[Announcer] Now pinch running for the Los Angeles Dodgers,
Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez!
It is the clutch situation of the season.
They say The Jet's lost a step or two,
but I wouldn't be surprised to see some fireworks here.
The Jet's got a suicide lead and--
And there he goes! He's stealing home! I don't believe it!
- He's stealing home! - [ Cheering ]
He's stealing home, and they don't see him! The pitch!
He's hit the dirt! He's safe! Safe!
- Oh, my God! - [ Cheering ]
Safe! Safe! Safe!
I don't believe it! The Jet stole home! The Jet stole home!
[ Cheering Continues ]
[ Cheering Continues ]