Voila! Finally, the Shaolin Soccer
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie starring
Stephen Chow. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Shaolin Soccer. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
What is the meaning of this check?
Do you want me to cheat?
No...
I'm just the middleman.
Do you play fast and loose with me,
or cause me trouble?
Don't you think you'll be ahead of me...
...if I fall?
Look at this!
I'm the only Golden Leg!
You can't daydream about that.
No...I don't.
I just want to have some tick-back.
Please don't tell anybody.
You're trash!
I'm sorry. Catch you later.
Golden Leg! Golden Leg...
Golden Leg...
Golden Leg...
Hung, you've been a star player
for twenty years.
Since Fung missed the penalty kick
and lost his golden leg,
you ever have any rivals.
Now your feeling is....
Oh, no! Don't talk about this!
Hung, your Evil Team
has already won the gold for five years.
What's the secret?
Secret? The secret is having
the great soccer coach.
So you should have confidence
to get the gold again.
Are you first time to be a reporter? I
don't think you should ask this question.
Excuse me...
Good morning, Hung!
Golden Leg!
Good morning, Hung!
Good morning!
Hung, your shoe is dirty.
I help you to clean it up.
It's fine. I can manage.
Hung, I'll take your car over.
Hung, you promise to offer
a coaching job to me.
I'm ready.
I've confidence to train a team
as good as the Evil Team.
Do you think you stilI can be a coach?
Forget it.
But you said...
Get real.
You see. You're a cripple now.
Don't you think you still
can depend on this tattoo?
Hung...
I've served you for twenty years.
How can you say such thing?
Today, I'm not in the mood.
Things change.
You looked great when you were young.
You see, you just look like a dog right.
Forget it. Got lost.
I've already taken care
of you for twenty years.
You know, it is a great deal of money.
Hung!
You're so vain!
If you didn't give me...
...the dishonour check twenty years ago,
I wouldn't be crippled now.
What? Are you loosing your temper?
Why don't you shout loudly!
Hey! Did all you guys hear that?
There're thousands of reporters outside.
Would you like me to let them come in?
You know,
I keep you here to shut your mouth.
Do you think anyone would trust...
...a handicapped beggar as you now?
- You!
- Don't be angry.
If you want to blame anyone,
that one should be you.
You should blame your greediness.
Forget it
Tell you one more thing.
I was the one who arranged
the accident to your leg.
Damn it!
It's no way to kick like that.
Pardon?
I said...
...it was no way to kick like that.
So what's your opinion?
There has to be a fusion of
the strength from the waist and foot.
What's that?
My idol, Bruce Lee,
had already elaborated about it.
If you want to learn more,
you can take two kung fu lessons from me.
Learning kung fu?
You just look like a cleaner.
Cleaner is just my job.
My real identity
is a post-graduate student.
Post-graduate student?
Focusing on how to
effectively develop Shaolin kung fu.
This's my name card.
Shaolin Orthodox School Mighty Steel Leg.
Look! It's really strong.
Fighting is not my style.
I'm an well-educated man.
You're wrong.
Look at that girl.
I know she's sexy, so what?
- But I'm an educated...
- No...
Look at this!
If she had learned Shaolin kung fu,
Weight Vest,
she would not have fallen like this.
You see!
So Shaolin kung fu is great!
Hey! Do you want to learn kung fu?
You're crazy!
Look at the woman over there.
If she had studied Shaolin kung fu,
Iron Hand,
parking would be much easier.
So kung fu is wonderful!
Excuse me! Do you want to learn...
Okay...Get lost me!
This coin is not just yours.
I should have a share.
Don't do that to ruin our relationship!
Look at that!
What's wrong?
You've already spent a whole year
to trim the tree.
You're fired. Get away!
- I'm sorry...
- Get away!
If he had studied Shaolin kung fu,
Nine Fence of the Recluse,
he would not be in trouble!
Nine Fence of the Recluse
seems came from Hua Shan.
Don't you know all kinds of kung fu
originated from Shaolin?
Kung fu is absolutely good
for different ages.
Brutality is just the wrong
impression of kung fu.
Kung fu is an art,
one kind of indomitable spirit.
I'm looking for a good method...
...to package Shaolin kung fu...
...and then let people understand...
...the true meaning of it.
Enough, already!
I've not finished yet.
Almost finished.
I stilI have some appointments
with my clients.
It's done.
Please seize your opportunity!
The lame can also learn kung fu.
What are you talking about?
Who's the lame?
You're not qualified
to talk soccer with me.
I'm sorry!
Yes, I'm the lame.
It's none of your business.
The lame?
Bullshit!
What?
Do you think that would scare me?
Do you stilI want the garbage?
If you don't, I'll call the other one.
I'm coming over.
Hurry up!
Do you think that would scare me?
Get out of here...
Excuse me! Would you help me
to pick it over there?
No problem!
Your leg is so great!
- Twenty cents!
- Oh, no! Just twenty cents?
There are some cups and plates inside.
Would you give me ten more cents?
No more!
Wah, move it over there.
Mui, please give me ten steamed bread!
Using Tai Chi kung fu to make
steamed bread is a startling idea.
The steamed bread looks sweet and tasty.
I'm so impressed...
...by her strong arms.
You...
What are you doing?
Singing is the exceptional way...
for me to express
my true feeling of esteem.
So beautiful!
I'm not beautiful. Don't laugh at me!
You see! The steamed bread is so great!
Taste wonderful!
Your Tai Chi kung fu, Shifting Bodies
and Transposing Shadows...
It's a firm but gentle kung fu,
Shove a Thousand Cattle with Four Tales.
Well!
That's why the steamed bread
is so tender and tough.
Fifty cents per each.
Two-steamed bread is one dollar.
- So expensive!
- Really
Even though it's so expensive,
it's worth.
I just have fifty cents right now.
Would you mind
I'll pay you back two days later?
Nope.
Well! You're a typical kung fu master
speaking with grace and ease.
You know, we get something in common.
I'm also a Shaolin master.
Would you give me
a face-saving permission?
No.
Okay!
This's a pair of precious sneakers.
The original price is two dollars.
Now, I give you a discount price,
Is my steamed bread ready?
Coming! Wait a minute!
Did the guy pay for the steamed bread?
He did.
What's this dirty stuff? Throw it away!
First Big Brother!
First Big Brother!
It's okay!
Keep working. Clean it up, please!
Are you sick, First Big Brother?
I've a headache. I got drunk last night.
Anyway, what do you want?
I want to let you know
I awakened already.
- Truly? You awakened.
- I awakened.
I finally understood.
If I want to develop
Shaolin kung fu to the world,
I should package it
into a new and modern form.
What's kind of packaging?
Singing!
You won't believe what I see today.
- I see a steamed bread shop...
- Stop bothering me!
But, what do you think
if I combine Shaolin kung fu...
...with singing and dancing?
Don't think about that!
How can you give anything up
if you never try it?
Stop thinking about that!
I've already advised you to live
in a down-to-earth manner.
There's a vacancy for cleaning toilet.
It should be good for you...
...to take it rather than
to dream anything.
If we don't have any dream in life,
we'll look like a salt fish.
You see, you're a real salt fish
without a pair of shoes!
How can you talk about dream?
Oh, no!
My firing-hearted
is not easy to blow out!
Why not? Just blow it out!
But I can light it up again!
Enough, already!
We both have our own lives.
Please don't bother me!
I should work to support my family.
You mean you are willing
to give your Iron Head up.
Did you forget how much effort
you made for it?
You're wrong!
I don't give it up...
...even one day!
Fei!
Boss!
Damn it!
The dancers quitted the show already.
How can you stick to here
and do nothing for that?
No! I have a great idea.
What's that?
Combining Shaolin kung fu
with singing and dancing.
What's kind of Shaolin kung fu?
Look at this!
It's no way for sole.
He's good enough.
No! How about you?
Me?
Shit!
How about your Iron Head?
If you don't do it well,
I'll kill you tomorrow.
Yes.
First Big Brother, thank you!
Shaolin kung fu is great!
Really great!
Shaolin kung fu is wonderful!
Wonderful!
I'm Iron Head.
Iron Head.
You're Mighty Steel Leg.
I'm Mighty Steel Leg.
Be serious!
Shaolin kung fu is great!
Really great!
Shaolin kung fu is great!
Really great!
Shaolin kung fu is wonderful!
Wonderful!
I'm Mighty Steel Leg!
Mighty Steel Leg!
He's Iron Head!
Damn it!
What are you singing about?
Your voice seems howling.
The lyric is disgusting.
I even can't understand
one sentence of this.
Yes, of course. Who wrote this lyric?
- Who did?
- Who did?
Creative work is highly subjective,
but I must follow up your criticism.
Singing is just
the beginning of the show,
the climax is the performance of
Mighty Steel Leg and Iron Head!
Iron Head?
I had already told you
that you wrote the bad lyric.
I'm not Iron Head. He's...
Iron Head?
- I said...
- Iron Head?
Mighty Steel Leg!
He's Mighty Steel Leg!
You still say Mighty Steel Leg?
Killing you!
Mighty Steel Leg!
I'm the real Mighty Steel Leg!
Iron Head?
Don't you know Chinese? He's the real...
Iron Head?
You're so stubborn!
Iron...
Do you want to fight back against me?
Thank you so much!
Happy hour is going fast.
It's time for us
to say goodbye right now.
Let's listen to music!
You crazy guys!
Let's see if you can take more!
Thank you!
Bullshit!
What?
Go! Nothing interested!
Do you stilI want to fight with us?
I promised my Shaolin master I wouldn't
use kung fu to fight with anyone.
This guy is crazy.
But all you guys should apologize!
Apologize?
I don't think it's my problem.
It's all yours guy's fault!
Don't move! You said you would not
use kung fu to hit anyone.
I'm not coming for fighting.
I'm coming for playing soccer.
Shit!
You don't need to be so exaggerated!
What?
I'm so sorry!
Do you have some coins right now?
Yes.
Thirty cents.
Are you grabbing my money?
Yes, I am. Did you learn Tong Long Fist?
I did.
Don't insult Shaolin kung fu anymore!
Would you let me
take a look of your leg?
I'm not in the mood. Go ahead!
Cool! It's the real, original kung fu.
A great killer silm leg.
It's Shaolin Mighty Steel Leg!
Is it possible
using kung fu to play soccer?
Truly?
Yes, of course!
Yeah!
It's a great idea
of using kung fu to play soccer.
Why did I ever think about that?
Are you the lame?
I'm not just the lame,
I'm the ex-soccer player, Golden Leg.
Today, I'm a soccer coach.
It's great!
You should teach me playing soccer.
Hold on.
No! You told me I could use
kung fu to play soccer.
But I need time to consider!
I've no time to think anymore!
It's sunset already!
Time doesn't wait for anyone!
But we stilI need to prepare!
I'm ready! What do I need?
At least a pair of shoes!
Do you have money
to get your sneakers back?
No. But...
I threw them away.
Oh, my god!
Your sneakers were broken.
They're well worn.
- Yes, they were broken. But I...
- Go home!
My boss will shout at you
when she comes back and sees you.
It's impossible
to get the broken one back.
There is a repaired one.
Do you want to have it?
First Big Brother, what are you doing?
First Big Brother, are you okay?
I'm fine.
What do you want?
I finally got a good idea
to develop Shaolin kung fu.
This's playing soccer!
Please let me go!
You had already got me into trouble.
I was fired.
Now, I work at rest room
to pay for my boss's loss.
So I come here to help you.
No! Absolutely not!
If you force me anymore,
my whole family will commit suicide
in front of you.
Committing suicide is not a good way
to solve any problems.
Be brave!
Don't be so silly!
I'm a loser!
Please don't come here anymore!
If you stilI want to form a soccer team,
you can call the other Brothers.
Please, don't bother me!
I beg you!
Iron Head.
Good morning, Fourth Big Brother!
Good morning, Sing!
How are you?
Let me introduce
a great guy to you! He's...
Nice to meet you!
This is Fung.
I know, Fung is so famous
in the stock exchange market.
You see! He has a great I.T. look.
Fung is a soccer coach.
Soccer coach!
Everyone knows that Fung is the most...
...famous figure in the soccer field.
Do you use your legs to play soccer?
You see! I'm right.
Actually, do you have any job?
I want you to join into my soccer team.
Playing soccer?
I've no job for six months.
How can you ask me to play soccer?
If you can use your Empty Hand...
...to be the goalkeeper...
What's Empty Hand? It's many years ago.
You know,
I even forgot when our Master died.
Please listen to me!
We're going to sign up
the National Soccer Tournament.
The prize is one million dollars.
Really? So I say you're the smartest one.
You see! You're dressed up.
Many years ago, our Master
ordered us to develop Shaolin kung fu.
Now, you guys get this great idea
of using Shaolin kung fu...
...to play soccer.
You see!
This's the group picture
of our Master and Brothers.
I always keep it under my pillow.
You should know what I mean.
Great! Let's sit down
to talk about what you mean.
I'll call you if I've time.
Remember, please leave a room for me.
I really don't have time to talk to you.
Some clients waiting for me, I should
keep my eyes on the stock exchange market.
You know, my trading is more than
hundreds thousand dollars each.
Hello! What's the price right now?
Today, my driver is on leave.
I just lend my car to my friend,
and left my wallet in my office.
I'm sorry! I don't have time
to have lunch with you guys.
I'm really busy!
Get away!
Third Big Brother, think about it!
If you can use Iron Shirt...
...to be the back...
What's Iron Shirt?
You see! There are
full of planes in the sky.
There are full of computer on the street.
It's the st century.
Please don't live in your daydream!
So I think it's a good idea
of combining kung fu with soccer together.
It's true!
The prize is a great deal of money
For Christ sake! You think I'm...
My trading is
hundreds thousand dollars each.
It's absolutely no way to give my trading
up and to play soccer with you guys.
I'm sorry. You know, I'm so direct...
It's impossible to give my trading up and
to sign up any soccer games with you lame.
Forgive me. I'm a honest guy.
Finally, it's also impossible for me
to win the fucking soccer game.
Truly, the probability of winning is %.
Probabi...
Probability!
Okay...
It should be head or tail.
We'll never get the middle.
So the probability is %.
Let me try!
Get away!
I've an appointment
with my client at coffee shop.
I'm very busy!
We can serve you to have noodle
at stalling store.
Bullshit! My trading is
hundreds thousands dollars each.
How can I go to have noodle
with you guys?
He's my Sixth Small Brother, Weight Vest.
This is the famous soccer coach, Fung.
Fung, how are you?
What's Vest?
Weight Vest.
Nice to meet you! Mr. Vest.
Fifth Big Brother, are you thinking
about playing soccer?
Yes.
If you can use Shaolin kung fu,
Weight Vest to be the forward with me.
Our attack should be flawless.
- Do you have confidence of this?
- Of course.
Great! Is there any pills for diet?
It's useless.
Since the virus get into the cerebellum,
it's no way for me to loose any bounds.
After I became like this, I'm not
only unable to use Shaolin kung fu,
Weight Vest, but to walk quickly.
Yes, you're a little bit fat,
but it's not so important.
Forget it!
You see, it was my picture!
Since I've become like this,
I even can't date a girl.
You don't understand that.
I do. I also can't date a girl!
Really?
There has been much gossip about
your girls on newspaper and magazine?
What's kind of newspaper and magazine?
Oh! I'm sorry!
Since I've this disease,
I can't control myself.
I'm sorry. Please leave me alone!
Small Brother!
You should have confidence!
You can do it!
Now, everyone calls me Lazy Pig...
You know, you're the only one
who call me Small Brother.
Thank you!
Lazy Pig, please help me
to pick the red loaf of tissue.
The red one!
Playing soccer?
Yes, Second Big Brother!
If you can use
Hooking Leg to be the back,
I believe...
The defense is none of flaw!
Absolutely!
Don't you think
I stilI can use Hooking Leg?
Just need some practice.
If you trust yourself,
you will get your Hooking Leg back.
Really?
I just saw you collecting
excrement and urine recently.
Why did you change
your job to wash dishes?
Why?
Why is this your question?
I don't understand, too.
Why isn't my dad the richest guy,
Lee Ka Sing?
Why am I going bald,
even though I'm so handsome?
You guys are not going bald,
but you're so ugly.
Why could the other guys
go to school when they were young?
But I was forced
to study the Shaolin kung fu,
and then became a cleaner to wash dishes,
to collect excrement and urine?
Calm down! Second Big Brother.
If you're brave enough,
you can control your fate.
Calm down? If I didn't calm down,
I would kill you guys!
Calm down?
Why have you just sat here?
Didn't you smell anything disgusting?
If there's disgusting smell when I come
back, you will clean it with your tongue!
Your apartment is great!
It's well furnished.
I can't imagine you work
as the cleaner at downstairs,
but live in the Penhouse
on the th floor.
You've good taste!
This kind of apartment is so popular
I can't even get one.
The trough is okay.
Just little bit noisy.
Would you mind if I move here?
Forget it!
Your Brothers are not good.
We can find the others to join our team.
It was all my fault.
I couldn't persuade them.
It's okay.
You know, I'm so glad that you trust me.
Thank you.
I'll use the shortest period of time
to train all you guys
...to be the professional soccer players.
So you should be serious
and mutually support each other.
I understand!
Let's go!
Please listen to me!
What would you do
if you stand on my position?
Yes, of course.
I've a call. Hold on a second.
The soccer is coming back!
Oh! Are you willing
to come back finally?
You let us wait for an hour,
wait for an hour!
What are you doing?
Playing soccer!
The soccer is over there!
You, come here!
Let me see you kick the soccer here.
The soccer is over there.
Yes. The soccer is over there!
You can't even get the soccer.
How can you kick it from here?
Actually, there are four
basic skills of playing soccer:
Pass, stop, hold and kick.
- I understand!
- Don't move!
Okay. Start from the beginning.
Yours.
Hold it!
Watch out!
Concentrate!
Come on! Move!
Yes...you can do more dummies.
Almost fine. It seems a great dummy.
Do more dummies.
Fung, why can't I take
a part of training?
Even though your leg is so strong,
you can't control it freely.
How about if you
kick the soccer into the sky...
and then hit a plane?
Can you pay for it?
- No.
- So...
Sixth Small Brother! I borrow your eggs!
What?
If you can control the egg freely
in the air, you can play soccer.
- No problem!
- Okay!
Go ahead. It's not easy.
Sixth Small Brother, forget it!
Oh, my god! My egg!
I must return it to you in the future!
No way!
Give it back to me!
Concentrate...
My egg!
Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes!
Yours!
Right...
Good...
Yes! Go!
Mark that one! Watch out!
How can you let him to kick the soccer?
Kick it!
Come on!
It's great!
He can just play it by himself.
No! It's teamwork.
It's no way just for one to play soccer.
The game is minutes.
There is no break.
We'll follow the international rules.
I'm the referee.
Do you have any questions?
Don't be silly? You know,
how great you Golden Leg plays as referee
and leads a young soccer team
to play with us.
We should be glad about that!
This's Fung!
Fung!
Okay...
This guy has some struggles
with your team players.
Now, this game is an exchange
of our skills of playing soccer.
It is used to solve this conflict.
You see! They play sincerely.
From their tidy uniform
and friendly face,
I can deeply feel their sincerity
and the spirit of physical culture.
Thank you!
Calm down.
I'm a car repairer.
This crescent wrench
is used to hold for screwing.
Does it make sense?
Yes, of course.
I explained it already.
Because I'm a car repairer,
it's all right for me to have a hammer.
Okay. Your team's style...
...is very famous
in the amateur soccer field.
I understand.
It's just the undeserved reputation.
Seems the cloud in the sky...
Okay. Anyway, take care of yourselves.
Shake hand, please!
Great!
Help!
Third Big Brother!
Calling the military base,
we were just suffered the fierce attack.
Ask for reinforcement!
Ask for reinforcement!
Stand up.
Stand up!
Stand up quickly!
Stand up quickly!
What are you doing?
Coach, they are lawless.
Why didn't you stop them?
I'm the referee. I don't stop them.
What's the meaning of this?
Do you want us to sacrifice?
You! Out!
Are you nuts?
This is a test.
If you guys can't pass it,
it's no way to play soccer anymore!
We're just playing soccer.
We're not fighting in a battle.
The real soccer game is a battle.
Surrender!
I surrender!
I surrender!
If you were brave enough
to ask me playing soccer,
why did you surrender?
Do you play and loose with me?
I can't stand for it anymore.
My bone seems broken.
I'm the pitiful creature!
Please let me go to see a doctor!
Put it onto your head!
You see. You look like a dog.
Do you have any self-respect?
I don't want to see you.
Put it onto your head quickly
and go to see a doctor.
Yes, I'm a dog.
I don't have any self-respect.
First Big Brother is coming back.
What?
I've a feeling that they are back.
- Do we stilI have any weapons?
- No more!
The final attack!
Oh, my God! I couldn't get it.
Help!
Thank you! You make us
to get our kung fu back.
Thanks for coming back!
Thank you!
Don't be like this.
I'm the real one who needs
to thank for all you guys.
Oh, my God!
I'm going to be rich! Thank you!
We're failed.
Please give us an opportunity...
...to join into your team!
Please!
Please, give us a chance.
It's a pretty big exploration.
The Evil Team'll be
the champion in the world.
Who?
The lame?
- Why not?
- I'm sorry.
I've already played
soccer for many years,
- you want to stop me?
- The person in charge is not here now.
Golden Leg!
What are you doing?
- Hung!
- Hung, he...
Okay...
Hung, my team wants to sign it up
for the soccer game!
It's an open competition,
everyone has the right to sign up.
You're wrong.
I'm the chairman.
I've the right to decide
who can sign it up.
- Do you understand?
- Yes.
What's the name of your team?
Come on!
This is Hung.
Hung!
This is a rare soccer team!
I really want to watch them
playing soccer.
What's the name again?
This is Shaolin...
OK...
Go and sign it up quickly.
I really want to watch them.
If you need, I can pay
for your application fee.
Thank you!
It's okay! You guy, the lame,
is my friendly brother.
My shoe is dirty again.
White color is easy to get dirty.
So...
I help you to clean it up!
I'm good at cleaning. Let me try!
This is my duty!
Hey! Let me try!
Hi!
What are you doing?
Who are you?
Where do we go?
Why are you so quiet? I need to go home.
I'm waiting for a long time.
I'm sorry. Please, wait a moment.
Try this.
No. I just want to see the quality of it.
Touch it.
I'll make it dirty.
- No problem. Go ahead.
- No...
- Touch it.
- No.
- How about that?
- So smooth.
- I promise I'll buy one for you.
- I touched it already. It's enough.
Tomorrow, I'll go to play soccer.
Really?
I must become a famous star player.
But if you didn't
help me to repair them...
I would never play soccer.
You know, you're so important to me.
Tell me what you want.
I can pay for you very soon.
If you become rich and famous,
please buy me sneakers.
No problem!
But you should have confidence.
Actually, you're a beautiful girl
good at kung fu.
You know, you are perfect.
You can't let your hair down
and cover your face like this.
Come on.
- Come on. Look at me.
- No...
Look at me!
So beautiful!
Really?
Yes, of course.
Is it fly?
Yes. But I didn't catch it.
Did you catch it already?
I did.
I'm sorry. I make your hand dirty.
No problem.
You know, you're the most beautiful girl.
Do you know that?
Yes. I do.
Thank you! Thanks so much!
Do you know?
Where you go?
I let you bring a girl here because
you promised me to clean the store.
Hurry up! If you haven't finished
the work on time, I'll be in trouble.
Go home. I'll call you later.
Okay?
Remember! You should have confidence.
You're the best.
I like your shirt.
I like your socks, too.
- Let's exchange to wear.
- Good...
Hey, guys! Didn't you
ever see this occasion?
Just play as usual as training.
There'll be hundreds of reporters
and audiences outside.
You guys should keep smile...
...and let the reporters
take pictures with us.
You also need to say hi and
thank for the audience's support.
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thanks for your support!
Thank you!
They're just cleaners.
Cleaner is also the audience.
Thank you!
Shut up!
This auditorium is so small and empty.
You said...
This is just the first round.
So we should play well
and get into the finals.
- Great! Get into the finals!
- Shut up!
Shaolin Team?
Look at this guy!
Look at that guy!
What happened?
No smoking here?
What happened?
It's impossible! Just an illusion!
What are you doing?
It's okay, just an illusion.
I think we should
show off our real power.
Great!
What's wrong?
Please don't play like this!
I really want to play soccer!
Hung, it's your call.
I'm not scared. It's just an illusion.
What? Forty versus zero?
Yeah!
Got a goal! Iron Head!
Yes, we use Shaolin kung fu
to play soccer.
So kung fu is great, wonderful!
- We lie low...
- And...
I want to thanks for my parents
and my Shaolin master.
Even though they passed away already.
I want to thanks for my good friend, Mui.
Mui...How are you?
Did you have your dinner already?
Hi! Can I help?
I want...
I understand. Let me take care of you!
Would you mind show us your kung fu?
Yes, of course, Sixth Small Brother.
!
Great!
Can you show us one more?
- Sure!
- Big Brother, one more please.
Take it easy!
My Brothers,
today we say bye with our old sneakers.
Don't throw anything here!
Sorry...
Mui?
What's up?
I can't believe
you are this kind of person.
What is it?
I know what you are doing.
What? You are bad.
You can't frighten me.
I'm not afraid of ghost.
What do you mean?
Nothing. It's for you.
I think...
I think I've a little bit difference.
Truly.
You've confidence right now.
I want to tell you something.
What's up?
I like you!
I like you, too!
Is this love?
You...
You're kidding.
No. I'm serious.
Absolutely not. This is not love.
We're friends forever...
Don't you think it's good for us?
Okay! It's fine.
So you'll come to see me often?
If your shoes are broken,
I'll help you to repair them again.
No, thanks. If my shoes are broken,
I must throw them away.
We should look forward to our future.
I'll never wear any broken shoes.
Don't be like this.
What's wrong? You're crying?
Don't do this.
I understand.
Thank you!
Come here!
- Mui, you are very nice today.
- Cheers!
After winning this,
we'll go to the finals.
Go to the finals!
But we can't look down our opponent!
Look down our opponent!
We're the real powerful team.
I won't let you get into the finals.
Oh, my God! How come?
It's the special effects?
Good morning, Hung!
Good morning!
Come here!
You're a lucky guy.
You're so lucky to get this great team.
Thank you.
Actually, Iron Head and Iron Shirt
are sorts of performance on the street.
It's amusing for your guys
to use kung fu to play soccer
and then to get into the finals.
You did a good job.
Don't waste our time!
Give up the finals
and join into my Evil Team!
It's not a dishonour check.
You can get the money
before sign up with me.
It's lots of money.
Probably, I can break my left leg
and then get retired.
Sure! We're brothers.
Thank you.
But I think I can't take it.
What? Don't you think I'm afraid of you?
I think your team has great potential.
So maybe we can join together.
Don't be so easily upset.
Think about your future.
Forget the hostility. Okay?
Hung, I didn't keep
the hostility in mind.
I know, they were all my faults.
I couldn't blame anyone.
You're lying!
I know you much. You're so greedy!
You're right!
I'm so greedy. My team is greedy, too.
But we've not
an insatiable greed for money.
We've an insatiable greed
for the champion.
See you on the soccer field.
Wait! Wait for a monent! Thank you!
Mui!
She died already!
How come?
I killed her!
Oh, no!
Mui is the master-hand of Tai Chi.
She must be treated unjustly!
What do you want?
Revenge!
Don't be silly! It's just a joke!
She's still alive.
She just doesn't work here.
Why?
You know, my stalling store
is well-known of sweet steamed bread.
But now the steamed bread...
she made becomes salty and bitter.
She really ruins my business.
I don't have another choice.
Salty and bitter?
Yes.
What's your name? Can I help?
No, thanks.
It's time to go!
Boss, how many goals
do you expect to get today?
Getting goal is not the only way to win.
I've a great idea to get win.
Impossible.
I can't imagine how wonderful
of the American medication!
Actually the referee, linesman,
soccer association, soccer federation
and soccer committee...
all stand on my side.
How can they fight with me?
No problem!
- Great!
- Fit!
Wonderful!
Throw-in?
He did it on purpose.
How could you judge to be throw-in?
Hung, you're fighting or playing soccer?
Yes, we are. So what?
I should break all you guys' legs
and let you become cripples.
Cripples! Cripples! Cripples!
How are you fight with me?
I'm sorry. I should take a break.
It's okay. You just physically leave us,
but your spirit
will keep in our mind forever.
Bend over! It's my turn.
Sixth Small Brother!
What's wrong? Why don't you stop it?
All you guys are badly injured
after the first haIf match.
How can you play the second one?
Go home! It's no way for you guys
to play the second half!
Nothing interested!
Maybe I can go down to dance for a show.
No! It's not your turn. It's mine!
Bullshit!
Get out!
You guys don't want to play anymore!
Who did it?
Anyone saw it?
Hit my face, if you're brave enough!
Rub gently.
I can't imagine
they're much lawless than me.
I can't believe that...
my reputation was ruined.
I've already known that
they must do something for us,
but I can't imagine they are so cruel.
Evil Team is not so terrific.
They must take pills or have injection.
Call police!
Anyway,
we should try our best to keep going.
We'll get the final win!
My house is on fire, I need to run!
I'm sorry. My mom is
per mature birth right now.
I should go home to take care of her.
Can you ask her to wait
until the end of the game?
You can't give it up!
They're not playing soccer.
They're killing us!
I beg you. Please don't leave us!
I beg you back.
Please let me go!
Calm down!
Calm down!
Yes, he's right!
We should keep going.
Now, we just have eight players.
If there is one more injured,
we'll fail.
We must try our best
to fight for the killer kick.
How come? If you fight for
one killer kick, I'll fight for three.
What are you talking about?
Calm down!
Calm down!
Shut up!
I'm not sure if I can fight for it.
Shaolin Lou Han Array!
Array?
Can't stand for a shot!
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine!
Chun!
- Tin?
- Yes.
I've kept a secret
in my mind for many years,
but I really want
to tell you at this moment.
Chun, I love you!
Do you think if we're so cruel?
- I don't think so!
- Really?
So we can be harsher.
Brothers! Go!
What?
Be careful!
Watch out!
Shit!
Hurry up! Don't act to be injured!
You're so smart! I'm fine.
Time is almost out! Use the final attack!
Final attack?
It's useless for you guys...
...to stall for time.
Win!
Shaolin Team.
Now, you just leave seven players.
If you don't have any substitute players,
I'll stop the game...
and announce that the game's over.
Any substitute players?
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
My turn!
I'm the substitute player.
I'm the goalkeeper.
Why did you make up as E.T.?
I don't know how to cut my hair,
so it will be good for me to shave it.
For what?
I want to help you.
How can you do that?
Go back to the Mars,
the Earth is so dangerous.
I really want to help you.
Trust me! Let me try!
- No way!
- You see,
your shoes were broken.
Put these on.
The opposite side.
Go!
Great!
Watch out!
What happened?
What happened?
Boss, watch out?
Damn it!
Boss!
Boss!
Shaolin win the champion.
Evil team use drug permenant suspension.
Leader Hung was sent years in jail.
Wait! Stop it!