Voila! Finally, the 25th Hour
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the movie by Spikee Lee
starring Edward Norton, Rosario Dawson, Barry Peppers, Phillip Seymour Hoffman,
etc. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of 25th Hour. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Look at this. He's alive.
This dog -- how you call it? Bull pit?
No. Pit bull. But that's not a pit bull.
I don't know what he is.
I bet he lost somebody some money, though.
Give me your gun.
- Shooting him? - Yeah.
Are you sick in the head?
They left him out here to suffer and die like that.
They -- they threw him out the fuckin' window
and just kept on driving.
It's terrible. Come. People wait for us.
Come on. They're used to waiting.
Poor little guy. Jesus, I think he broke his hip.
Oh! Ho! Shit!
The fucker. He's got a lot of bite left in him, huh?
I think bull pit is not playing with you, Monty.
Yeah. No shit.
Come. You want police coming?
Oh, look, they used him like a fucking ashtray, man.
What a bunch of assholes. Let's get him in the trunk.
What?!
There's a vet emergency room over here. I like this guy.
He tries to bite your face off.
He is meat.
You want dog -- I buy you nice puppy tomorrow.
No, no. What the fuck I want with a puppy? Come on.
Where you go, Monty? Monty, wait.
What the -- I not go near bull pit, Monty.
This thing is disgusting.
I told you -- it's not a pit bull.
Look at him. He's a good dog.
I can see it in his eyes. He's a tough little bastard.
He wasn't lying down for anybody.
Sometimes I think you very stupid man.
If we wait much longer, he's gonna be dead, all right?
You want to shoot him with my gun.
That was a mercy thing. He's not ready to go yet.
He wants to live.
Oh, he tell you this now?
No, but it's like a baby, okay?
They don't bitch and scream like that, you know?
They see the doctor coming with the needle.
It's good for him in the long run.
You have no baby.
I can't even talk to you, Kostya.
Come on.
Come on, you little son of a bitch.
Hey. Will you quit standing there?
Will you fucking help me out here?
Just -- just distract him for me or something.
Come on!
Get the --
I'm trying to help you, you little prick!
Huh? Come on. Come on.
Who's more macho?
Monty is more macho!
What goes on in your little head?
A little of the tricks, a little of the quicks.
Boom. Bam. He's nabbed.
Yeah, little tricks, little quicks.
You are bleeding. You get bite.
Dog's blood.
God, you got to learn to relax a little bit.
Live a little.
You have hole in neck and blood is coming out.
Little love bite for saving his raggedy ass.
Rule number one -- you cannot grab half-dead animals.
We have people waiting for us.
People with money.
Ow.
You want to play this cowboy!
No -- dogboy in middle of highway.
Dogboy? That's funny, Kostya.
- Yes, funny. - You mastered the language.
You're bad luck, Monty. You bring bad luck on me.
Always everything that can go wrong, go wrong.
It is not just you and me anymore when we go out.
It's you and me and Doyle.
Who's Doyle?
Doyle! Doyle's Law.
- It's Murphy. - What?
Who is Murphy?
Who's Murphy? Who's Doyle?
It's Murphy's Law --
"Whatever can go wrong will go wrong."
- Him! Yes. - Yes, him.
What's up there, Monty? Hey, Doyle.
- - Easy, Doyle. Easy. Easy.
What do you want, Simon?
I'm hungry.
I woke up an hour ago. I was hungry.
Nothing I can do about that. Go up to th Street.
th Street?
Come on, man. I can't go up there.
I mean -- whoa.
I, um -- I'm not --
I'm not looking for a mercy pop or anything, you know.
I'm done, Simon.
This morning, right, I was shaving,
and I cut myself -- look, look -- like four times.
Come on, Monty! Give me a break, man!
I can't go up to Harlem. Look at me.
The -- the "Yos" --
they'll eat me alive up there, man.
I'm out of business, Simon.
Okay? Take your Jones somewhere else. Leave me alone.
Are you afraid that I'm -- I'm gonna narc you out?
You know who I am. It's me. It's Simon.
You're not listening to me. I got touched.
Okay? I'm over.
Game over.
Five years I've been coming to you, man -- five years!
Get out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
Fine. I'm -- I'm -- I'm leaving.
There's no need for you to be all nasty about it, all right?
But I'll -- I'll remember this.
All right? I'll remember this.
This is Dante.
Aw, what's his name?
Doyle.
Hi, Doyle.
I'm telling you,
I don't think I'm gonna even be eligible this year.
Excuse me, sir? Can I help you?
Hello?
Hello?
Sorry, what?
Did you have an appointment with someone?
Oh, no. I used to go here.
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave
and to take the dog with you.
Yeah. Okay. Okay. We'll just be a minute.
No dogs allowed on the school grounds.
Okay. Okay. I understand.
Check this out. Come here. He's all right.
Look at what a little punk I was.
In the middle with the ball.
I guess you weren't the center.
No. No.
I started, though.
Freshman year. I was on the varsity. Point guard.
Yeah?
Still hold the all-time assist record.
Mmh, no. Marvin Ray broke the record last year.
He did not.
He did too.
Are you sure?
I'm positive. I coach the girls team.
Well...we were undefeated that year.
Then I got kicked off the team for fighting,
and the whole thing fell apart.
That's too bad.
Hey, you know where Jacob Elinsky is?
He's an old friend of mine.
"Now let us sport us while we may,
"and now, like amorous birds of prey,
"rather at once our time devour
"than languish in his slow-chapt power.
"Let us roll all our strength and all our sweetness
"up into one ball, and tear our pleasures with rough strife
"thorough the iron gates of life --
"thus, though we cannot make our sun stand still,
yet we will make him run."
Good.
That's good.
That's an excellent reading.
What do people think?
What's going on here?
- Luke. - Can I go to the bathroom?
No, you went minutes ago.
Uh, I have a, um -- a bladder infection.
The poem.
"To His Coy Mistress."
Andrew Marvell.
Well, it's not real deep or anything.
The guy wants to get laid,
and he's telling her to give it up.
Excuse me...for one minute.
Hey...
- What's going on? - Hey, who's that?
Look who's here. It's your buddy.
Sorry to -- sorry to drop in on you.
I just wanted to talk to you for a second.
W-What's going on?
Nothing.
What is this you got going on here?
Teaching my class. I guess.
- In a circle like that? - Yeah.
Wow.
That's cool. I like that.
Hey, class.
Hey.
Sorry to interrupt.
Just a little, slight change of plans.
I got to see my father tonight,
and there's these people -- they're throwing me kind of a...
going-away party, right?
Yeah.
And, uh, so maybe you and Frank could meet up somewhere.
Maybe that place with the... things that Frank goes to.
And I'll find you later?
Okay.
- Yeah? - Of course.
All right.
This one's cute with the red shirt.
I think she's giving me the eye.
How do you do it, man? I don't know how you do it.
- - So I'll see you later.
Yeah, maybe like midnight, I think.
Midnight. Midnight's...
- Yeah? All right. - Okay.
Come on, buddy.
Have a nice day.
Sorry about that.
Oh, Christ.
You have a minute?
Sure.
Yeah, come -- come on in.
I thought that no students were allowed
in the teachers' lounge.
I won't squeal on you.
Yeah. Take a seat?
What can I do for you?
I want to know why I got a B-minus on my paper.
You got what you earned.
Nobody else in that class can write, and you know it!
Everyone knows it.
Don't worry about everyone else.
You're not competing with them.
But I am. I am competing with them.
When I apply to colleges -- you might have heard of this --
they look at these things called "grades."
And if your grades aren't good enough, then --
Your grade's gonna be fine.
Vincent Piscella writes a story about his grandmother dying,
and you give him an A-plus.
Meanwhile, the night of the funeral,
you know where Rhodes Scholar Vince is?
Getting smashed at a basketball party and slapping girls' asses.
I mean, what is that? A charity A-plus?
I mean, everyone is always writing
about their grandmothers dying, and you know why?
It's not because it's so traumatic.
It's because it's a guaranteed A-plus!
And you're all sentimental like,
"Oh, Vince, that was very powerful, very moving."
No, it wasn't.
You didn't care. I didn't care.
Nobody cared.
That's what grandmothers do. They die!
Sometimes...guys have a hard time showing their emotions.
So...
Slapping my ass -- that's, uh --
Vince's way of mourning his dead grandmother?
What did your mother say when you -- when you got that?
When I got what?
Yeah.
"Where did you get the money for that?"
Oh.
- And? - And what did I say or...
Where did I get the money?
Well, what did you say?
I said, "He likes me."
Oh.
Does he?
No.
Why do you care so much?
Just curious.
So, um...
You're not gonna change the grade?
No. I'm not gonna change the grade.
Great! You know what? This was a big waste of my time!
Hold on.
Oh, God.
- - Just -- just cover my...
Don't freeze up on me, you son of a...
- - Yeah, Slaughtery.
No, I can't talk right now. Employment number's coming out.
- I just wanted to let -- - Call you later.
I'm supposed to meet you at Mont--
Hey, Frank, you coming out with us tonight or what?
No, I got to meet some friends tonight.
Big date, huh? Who's the new bimbo?
Can I bang her first?
Yeah, you wish, brother.
No, it's more of a going-away party.
Now, listen, Frank, the other thing...
you still holding onto all those O.E.X. contracts?
You better believe it. Why? You nervous?
Claims numbers have dropped three weeks straight,
and I don't feel comfortable with this.
Claim numbers drop so everybody thinks employment's gonna be up?
Look at me when I talk to you.
Everybody's thinking this
because it's pretty much always true.
When it rains outside, people get wet.
Right or wrong, Frank?
Not this time, Sal. I got a theory. Look at this.
Oh, good! You've got a theory.
Look, Frank -- fuck you and your theory.
You're in awfully deep here, Frank.
You've got $ million of the bank's money --
$ million.
Whoa ho! $ -fucking-million?!
What are you two doing?
You want to be part of the unemployment numbers?
Get back to work!
Sal, you knew they raised my limit to $ million.
They raised your limit a week ago and you're maxing out?
What am I gonna do? Sit on it?
First of all...you're not gonna raise your voice to me.
That's first off.
You cannot put me, you, or this firm in jeopardy
by putting $ million in one idea!
Right or wrong? Come on!
Right or wrong. Yeah.
Listen...
I think we're in for a low number, all right?
Like .
I really don't give a shit what you think, Frank.
You come in here, you're not even clean-shaven.
Stop playing with this fucking ball and pay attention to me.
You come in here drinking your red bullshit, stink like booze,
you're out all night partying -- and that's okay.
But when you become a cowboy, that's when I draw the line.
I am still your boss,
and I am telling you now -- you sell half those contracts.
Do I make myself clear?
Do I make myself clear, Frank?
Do I make myself clear to you?
Yeah.
Yes? Good.
Have a good day.
And by the way, we're still on for Friday night.
Courtside, front row. Don't be late.
It's mayhem down here on the floor of the exchange.
Within moments, the unemployment number's gonna be announced.
Salomon Brothers, along with most of the street,
feel the number is going to be high --
around .
Solly's looking for a high number.
is their call.
Fuck Salomon Brothers.
Fuck, uh -- fuck Salomon Brothers?
Yeah, fuck Salomon Brothers. They're hedging their bets.
Want everybody on their side of the fence.
Uh, what's the big deal with the employment number anyway?
- Phellan. - It's, uh, Phelan.
Whatever. Look...
More jobs means fewer people looking for work.
Means it's harder to find good people to fill those jobs.
Means you got to raise wages to get them.
Means inflation goes up. You got it?
- Yeah. - No, I didn't think so.
That's why I'm doing what I'm doing,
and you're handing out junk mail.
Now, get off my desk.
you're wearing a striped shirt with a striped tie.
You know that, right?
Yeah, I do it for that ladies.
Do the ladies ever tell you that you look like
a fucking optical illusion?
Yeah?
Go away. Disappear. Come on.
I'm out of here.
You better hop to, sonny boy.
You know, it's funny --
I don't see you picking up the phone to sell those contracts,
and I'm pretty sure I just heard your daddy come over here
and cut off your allowance, so I'm a little surprised.
You're not gonna disobey a direct order, are you?
You know, Marcuse... do I come into your bedroom
and tell you how to blow your boyfriend? No.
Go away.
- Hey, Schultz! - Yo.
What are we looking at for that unemployment number?
-- somewhere in there.
Big number. Big.
Hey, Frank -- we all right?
We're good.
MAN ON TV: ...investors and the market
in uncharted waters.
So who really knows?
The number is coming out.
New applications --
Get me out! Now, now, now!
Hold the phone! That can't...
We goin' for a ride now!
Whoo!
Hey, where have you been?
I got up at : this morning. You were already gone.
Yeah. I just...
I needed to walk around a little, you know?
Hey.
How long you been sitting on this stoop?
All day.
I've been waiting for you.
It's a beautiful day.
Yeah, I guess it is.
Hey, Mr. Doyle.
I missed you this morning.
Come on.
Montgomery, I want you to talk to me.
About what, Nat?
About how you're feeling.
Well, how do you think I'm feeling?
Well, I'm asking because I don't like to assume.
Well, good. Don't.
What do you want?
I want to be like that girl in the X-Men --
that one that can walk through walls.
Go on.
If I can't do that...
I don't know -- boom -- one shot to the head.
Problem solved.
Don't joke about that.
Who says I'm joking?
So, what are we doing tonight?
Before you kill yourself, that is.
Uncle Nikolai is throwing me a party down at Bridge.
I figure we all head down there.
Oh, come on. I have to go. I got no choice, okay.
We might as well try to have some fun.
I thought it was over with those guys.
Yeah, it's almost over.
I mean, it's never really over with these guys, but...
That's a nasty habit you have, you know that?
Come take a bath with me.
No, not right now.
Go on. Go ahead.
I can't see me being a -- a father.
No?
Well, I could see you fathering children.
You think I want to raise my own chalupas?
I don't raise my own chalupas.
Well, we're definitely not having any kids together
if you're gonna be calling them "chalupas."
Oh, I -- I think we would have very...
Very beautiful babies.
- You don't think? - I think.
All right, show me that.
What? No. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I can't believe you did that.
I can't believe you -- Why? Why?
You've lived in the United States your entire life.
You've been to Puerto Rico twice on vacation.
You know, I'm very proud of my heritage.
Yeah, but what does that mean?
So I should get an lrish flag tattooed on my ass
just 'cause my grandparents were from there?
There's not enough room on your skinny, white, flat ass
for an lrish flag.
Yeah, well, between you and me
the kids are gonna be just about right then.
Kids? At this rate, we're not having any.
It's probably your mother.
Coming.
Doyle, cut it out.
Kostya, you have the worst timing ever.
Sorry to bother you, ma'am.
Is Montgomery Brogan in?
Monty.
Monty!
Montgomery Brogan?
Yeah, that's me.
I'm Agent Flood with the Drug Enforcement Administration.
I can see that. What is all this?
We've got a warrant to search your apartment.
Are you serious?
Go -- go ahead.
Hey, easy, Doyle.
I don't see any tags on that dog.
He's inside. He doesn't need tags.
He better stay calm or I'll have the pound come get him.
Seen too many men bit by these mean bastards.
Doyle.
Come on.
Sit.
Oh...
You, uh, mind if I have a seat?
No. Be my guest.
Uh, Miss Riviera? Heh. That's your name, right?
I need you to stay right here, ma'am.
Can't have you sneaking around.
You know, this sofa's not very comfortable.
Ah, maybe it's your posture.
Your posture is very important.
No, it's this, uh, Castro convertible.
It's very uncomfortable. It's kind of -- kind of lumpy.
You know, I just don't understand it.
It looks like such a nice sofa.
How much did you pay for this sofa, Miss Riviera?
Maybe it's the padding.
Booyah!
Could be the padding.
Yeah.
Probably the padding.
Go on. Get it over with.
Hmm.
There's something lumpy in here, Mr. Brogan.
You know, it's a good thing I found this.
It's gonna make your sofa so much more comfortable to sit on.
Sh-e-e-e-it.
Mr. Brogan, I do believe you're fucked.
Royally.
Sh-e-e-e-it.
Baby...
Baby?
Are you okay?
Yeah.
This will be the best night of my life.
Best night of my life.
I just -- you know, I've been waiting around all day long --
I just want to know if we're gonna spend any time together.
I know. I know.
Could you just talk to me?
Talk to me, okay?
We haven't been talking. This is our last night --
No. No, no, no. It's not our last night.
It's my last night.
Not your last night. You got all kinds of nights.
You got nights with your girlfriends...
going out clubbing, sitting at bars...
"You and me" equals "our." This is our last night.
You can sit at home watching movies with your mother.
You got all kinds of nights.
Look, I don't understand what you're not understanding here.
Hey, you know what? I can't do this right now, okay?
Babe, I need you to just be quiet.
Please just be quiet.
But we haven't talked about this at all.
Lately you can't even look at me in the eye.
I have to go. Meet us at the place in Chinatown.
Where are you going?
I've got to see my father tonight, you know?
Do -- do me a favor, and wear that silver dress tonight, okay?
You want me to?
Yeah...yeah.
That's how I want to remember you.
Mmm, very nice. Very nice.
Hello, beautiful lady.
Beautiful baby.
You look like Halle Berry. They tell you this?
Come back.
I make you half-black, half-Russian baby.
So many beautiful woman. I love this neighborhood.
How much is rent?
You can't afford it. Trust me.
What are you doing here?
Something is wrong?
No, I'm having the time of my life.
What do you think, you dumb shit?
Uncle Nikolai wants me talking with you.
Wants to make sure you come to club tonight.
You're like the third person in two days that's said that to me.
What the fuck is going on? What does he really want?
I don't know.
You come all the way up here just to tell me you don't know?
You do not answer my calls, and Uncle wants to make sure
that you're tonight at the Bridge.
I'll be there! For Christ's sake. Tell him.
Tell him I'm -- I'm bringing some friends.
I'm bringing Naturelle.
Monty. Wait, Monty. Please.
- Why you bring her? - Why wouldn't l?
We have this discussion once before, no?
You get very mad at me.
Oh, you know what? Will you stop with that already?
I already told you -- it wasn't her.
How you know this?
Why would she?
Maybe her aunt is illegal alien. You know, these Mexicans...
Hey, hey, she's Puerto Rican.
That makes her a citizen of the United States.
That's more than I can say for you.
Maybe the feds, they -- they bust --
The feds. You know, you're fucking cracking up.
Filling my head with this shit. You're crazy.
You ask her?
No, I didn't ask her.
Listen.
Before you leave... you should know.
I'll see you down there.
Those guys coming back in here yet?
Not much.
Well, you know -- little by little.
It was hard on those guys.
I went to elementary school with that guy Nick.
You remember -- Nicky?
Oh, Nick. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Good kid.
Place looks good, though.
Hmm.
Want to take your coat off?
Um, no. I was feeling a little cold.
Hmm.
Oh.
That's a hell of a steak.
Only the best for you, sweetie.
I'll send you cookies every month.
- Peanut butter, right? - That's it.
I, uh...I talked to Sal.
- Oh, Dad, come on. - I'll see if he can help.
Dad, the guy's been out of the picture for years.
He still knows people.
Look, that's not the point.
I-I don't want you to get involved, okay?
I mean it. I'm -- I'm gonna be all right.
You know, you'll still be a young man when you get out.
I know you don't think about it,
but don't start any trouble in there.
- Keep your head down. - Don't worry about me, please.
This should never have happened.
You could've been -- you wanted money,
you could've done anything you wanted -- doctor, lawyer.
That's all I'm saying.
Don't lay that on me.
When Sal and his crew were squeezing you for the payments,
I didn't hear you wishing I was a law school student then.
Not one word from you back then.
Where'd you think that money was coming from -- Donald Trump?
- That was a mistake. - Let's just forget it, then.
There were lots of mistakes.
I should've stopped drinking when your mother passed.
Please don't do this.
-year-old boy with a dead mother and a drunk father.
I got no one to blame but myself.
Oh, stop. Stop.
It wasn't you, Pop.
I'm gonna take a leak.
Yeah, fuck you, too.
Fuck me? Fuck you.
Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it.
No, no, no, no, no.
Fuck the panhandlers grubbing for money,
smiling at me behind my back.
Fuck the squeegee men
dirtying up the clean windshield of my car.
Get a fucking job.
Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis
bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs,
curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day.
Terrorists in fucking training. Slow the fuck down!
...getting one of those operations
that elongate your penis.
Fuck the Chelsea Boys
with their waxed chests and pumped-up biceps,
going down on each other in my parks and on my piers,
jiggling their dicks on my Channel !
Fuck the Korean grocers
with their pyramids of overpriced fruit
and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic.
Ten years in the country, still no speakee English.
Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach.
Mobster thugs sitting in cafes, sipping tea in little glasses,
sugar cubes between their teeth,
wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'.
Go back where you fucking came from.
Fuck the black-hatted Hasidim
strolling up and down th Street
in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff,
selling South African apartheid diamonds.
Come on. Your wife deserves this.
Fuck the Wall Street brokers.
Self-styled masters of the universe.
Michael Douglas-Gordon Gekko wannabe motherfuckers
figuring out new ways to rob hardworking people blind.
Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life.
You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit?
Give me a fucking break.
Worldcom.
Fuck the Puerto Ricans.
Twenty to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls.
Worst fucking parade in the city.
And don't even get me started on the Dominicans,
'cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good.
Who's this fuckin' guy?! Get the fuck outta here!
Fuck the Bensonhurst ltalians with their pomaded hair,
their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions,
swinging their Jason Giambi Louisville Slugger baseball bats
trying to audition for "The Sopranos."
Fuckin' crack your fuckin' head open!
Bensonhurst! Bensonhurst!
Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves
and their $ Balducci artichoke.
Taxi!
Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted
and stretched all taut and shiny.
You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart.
Taxi!
Fuck the Uptown brothers.
They never pass the ball,
they don't want to play defense,
they take five steps on every layup to the hoop,
and then they want to turn around
and blame everything on the white man.
We not giving it up! We not giving it up!
Slavery ended years ago.
Move the fuck on.
Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus-violating plungers
and their shots,
standing behind a blue wall of silence.
You betray our trust!
Fuck the priests who put their hands
down some innocent child's pants.
Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil.
And while you're at it, fuck J.C.
He got off easy --
a day on the cross, a weekend in hell,
and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity.
Try seven years in fucking Otisville, J.
Fuck Osama bin Laden, Al Qaeda,
and backward-ass cave-dwelling
fundamentalist assholes everywhere.
On the names of innocent thousands murdered,
I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your whores
roasting in a jet-fuel fire in hell.
You towel-headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal lrish ass.
"l notice how many of what I once thought
"were evidences of repression, sexual or otherwise..."
Fuck Jacob Elinsky.
Whining malcontent.
Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend,
judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass.
Fuck Naturelle Riviera.
I gave her my trust, and she stabbed me in the back.
Sold me up the river. Fucking bitch.
Fuck my father with his endless grief,
standing behind that bar, sipping on club soda,
selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers.
Let's go, Yankees!
Fuck this whole city and everyone in it,
from the row houses of Astoria
to the penthouses on Park Avenue,
from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho,
from the tenements in Alphabet City
to the brownstones in Park Slope
to the split-levels in Staten lsland,
Iet an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage,
Iet it burn to fucking ash, and then let the waters rise
and submerge this whole rat-infested place.
No.
No. Fuck you, Montgomery Brogan.
You had it all,
and you threw it away, you dumb fuck!
What do you think of Naturelle?
She's a good girl. Your mother would've liked her.
- Yeah, but you trust her? - Do I trust her?
- Mm-hmm. - Why do I have to trust her?
- You think I can trust her? - Where you going with this?
Oh, I don't know.
People are... saying weird things.
I'm hearing stuff around,
Iike maybe she was the one that made the phone call on me.
Why would she do a thing like that?
Maybe they got to her, you know?
It happens. They find something, put the screws on you.
The girl loves you. I can't believe she would betray you.
I don't know. I don't know.
I mean, everything's gotten so strange, Pop.
I look at these people around me,
and I'm thinking, "These are my friends?
I don't even know these people."
You know, and -- and Naturelle, even.
Do I -- do I really know her?
I don't know.
It's all...
The only people I trust are you, Jacob, and Frank --
the guys I grew up with.
I miss those boys.
Yeah, I know.
I'm supposed to be meeting them.
They're waiting for me.
I-I ought to get going.
What about your food?
I can't.
Okay.
I'll, uh, see you in the morning.
No. No. Why? I'm gonna take the bus up there.
Oh, forget about the bus.
I'll drive you. Take half as long.
Take...this.
They'll let you keep it.
When you was a little kid,
you used to sleep in that fireman's helmet.
You wanted to be just like your daddy.
I ever tell you about the fights we had naming you?
Yeah. You wanted to name me James.
James Brogan Jr. -- good, strong name.
Nah. Your mother thought it was too boring for you.
- She liked Montgomery Clift. - Loved him.
"Place in the Sun" -- her favorite movie.
I kept saying, "Montgomery Clift --
"look what happened to that poor fuck.
Died way too young. Bad luck."
Bad luck.
I'm gonna go, okay?
I'll see you soon, Pop.
Monty...
He'll be working for me. I'll have his job.
Listen, I got to go. Talk to you tomorrow.
Cocksucker.
- How you doing, bro? - Hey.
- Good to see you. - How you doing?
Good. Come on in.
All right.
Want a beer?
- Yeah. - Cool.
- There you go. - Thanks.
Cheers.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
Yeah, The New York Times says the air's bad down here.
Oh, yeah?
Well, fuck The Times. I read the Post.
E.P.A. says it's fine.
Somebody's lying.
Yeah.
You gonna move?
Fuck that, man.
As much good money as I pay for this place?
Hell, no.
Tell you what.
Bin Laden can drop another one right next door. I ain't moving.
What do we say to him?
Don't say nothing.
He's going to hell for seven years.
What am I gonna do, wish him luck?
Just get him drunk.
Make sure he has one last good night.
That's it.
So you're up for this?
Yeah.
I don't even know why he invited me.
What are you talking about, man?
You know, we hardly ever see each other anymore.
You know, you and I are his friends from the past.
Oh, yeah.
Like his friends from the present have done him much good.
I just...
I just can't believe he's going away for seven years.
Someone turns him in and...
Oh, don't feed me that shit.
What shit?
Come on, Jake. Don't feed me that bullshit.
Yeah, he got caught.
But hello -- Monty's a fucking drug dealer.
Shit.
What, are you -- you driving a vintage Super "B"?
- No. - No. He is.
Yeah, paid for by the misery of other people.
He got caught. He's gonna get locked up.
And I'll tell you something else.
You two are my best friends in the whole world,
and I love him like a brother, but he fucking deserves it.
He deserves it.
What's he planning on doing with Doyle?
How the fuck should I know?
I don't know.
Maybe...Ieave him with Naturelle or something.
They should at least let him take Doyle with him.
What?
Just let him take Doyle with him.
He wouldn't be so lonely.
You can't take a fucking dog to the hoosegow, Jake.
I'm just saying it'd be kind of nice if he could.
All right.
Yeah, it'd be nice.
Monty's tough. I think he'll be okay.
If it were me, l...I'd never last a day,
but...Monty, he's different.
Oh, yeah? You believe that?
Yeah.
You don't fucking get it, do you?
What don't I get?
You want the simple version, Jake?
Guys who look like Monty don't do well in prison, all right?
Man, he's got three choices, and none of them are good.
One, he can run. Two, catch the bullet train.
Bullet train?
I'm not saying what he's gonna do.
I'm saying what his choices are.
His third choice is he goes to prison, that's it.
Yeah, and that's what he's gonna do.
He'll go and I'll see him when he gets out.
Maybe.
I'll tell you what.
After tonight, it's bye-bye, Monty.
What does that mean?
Man, if he runs, he's gone. He ain't coming home.
If he pulls the trigger, they close the casket.
He's gone.
They lock him away, he's gone. You'll never see him again.
I'll see him again.
No, you won't.
I'll visit him up there and I'll see him when he gets out.
This is such horseshit. This is so much like you, Jake.
- You're not gonna see him -- - Like me?
Yeah, it's...exactly.
- What's -- why -- - You'll never see him again.
You think you're gonna kick back with some beers,
reminisce -- old times -- you're still gonna be friends?
It's over after tonight, Jake. Wake the fuck up.
Let her go.
That's a good-looking girl you got there.
Ooh. That's a scary look.
Yikes.
You see the look he gave me?
Naturelle Riviera -- what a name.
You know what? Take another angle, man.
You can't fucking touch her.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You're missing the point.
She touched you.
- You're lying. - Am l?
- Yeah. - Oh, that's sweet.
All I know is she's walking away.
Yeah. We just signed her release.
Probably having a big party tonight
over at Jimmy's Bronx Cafe.
Sure. Why not?
Big celebration.
She got that whole fancy apartment to herself now.
What? You thought she was with you for your looks?
Sh-e-e-e-it.
Girl saw a pot of honey, and she licked it clean.
Yeah.
She's a real smart girl.
Now, you, on the other hand...
You're supposed to be smart.
Got yourself a scholarship to a fancy private school, hmm?
Not bad for a punk from Bay Ridge.
Yeah, but then you go and get yourself thrown out
for dealing weed to some rich kids.
What up with that?
You know what happens to pretty boys like you in prison?
Ooh.
They gonna love you.
Yeah, maybe.
But then again...maybe not.
"Jeez, Your Honor, you know, what can I say?
"l messed up.
"You know, my mother died.
"l-I was so worried about my father.
"l needed to help him out.
"My head was a little turned around.
"l got hooked in with the wrong people,
"and I made a big mistake.
"l really did, but...it was my first time.
I'm sorry, and it will never, ever happen again."
Time served. Probation.
You don't read the papers much, do you, smart guy?
In New York,
we've got a wonderful thing called the Rockefeller Laws.
Let me educate you.
You had a kilo in your sofa.
That kind of weight makes it an A- felony.
years to life minimum for first offense.
Now, with that much spread in the sentencing guidelines,
the judges take their cues from the prosecutors.
So if Mr. Prosecutor's wife busted his chops that morning,
you're fucked.
You're gone for good.
If you get lucky -- really lucky --
now, let's say he got some good trim the night before.
Maybe he'll plead you off to an A- .
But that's still three to eight for first time -- minimum.
How much of that stretch you pull
is all up to the mood of the prosecutor,
and he's gonna ask us, "Did he play ball?"
So...
why don't you tell us about your friend Nikolai?
Let us make it easy on you.
Can I ask you one question?
Sure.
When you have your dick in his mouth,
does he just keep talking like that?
'Cause it seems to me he just never shuts up,
and I'm -- I'm just curious --
does that -- does that get annoying?
You know, you're fucking a guy in the mouth,
Look here, you vanilla motherfucker.
When you're upstate taking it in the culo
by a bunch of guys calling you Shirley,
you'll only have yourself and Governor Rockefeller
to thank for the privilege.
Let's get the hell out of here.
Tell the U.S. attorney we got a hard-ass.
You need a girlfriend.
- I need a girlfriend? - Yeah.
Wait a minute.
When was the last time you had a girlfriend?
All right? When was the last time you got laid?
I've got prospects.
- Yeah, you got prospects. - I do.
You know what?
You're in the nd percentile is what you are.
- What is that? - nd percentile?
- Yeah. - That's where you rate.
All the bachelors in New York, we're all competing
for the same women -- well, the straight bachelors.
And I'm in the nd percentile?
- Yes, sir. - So in other words,
I'm better than % of the New York bachelors.
You're rated higher than them, yeah.
But worse than what, %?
. No percentile.
How'd you come up with ?
There's a whole science to figuring it out.
There's a science to figuring it out?
That sounds very scientific.
And if I may inquire, what's your rating?
- Funny you should ask. - Hmm.
Because I happen to fall right in the percentile.
Of course.
Who came up with the ratings?
I did.
You came up with the ratings? And you get a ?
- That's very interesting. - Yeah?
What are these, uh, based on?
It's just a system. I mean, that's your rating.
I'm not saying you're a bad person, Jake.
No, you're just saying I'm a bad bachelor.
you're a better-than-average bachelor.
What -- what are the criteria?
First, money. You have none.
Trust funds don't count for shit
because it's a red flag that says,
"Mommy and Daddy could turn off the cash flow one day."
So that right there keeps you out of the top %.
% of the...gold diggers?
% period.
Two...
you got chronic bad breath.
No offense,
but most women won't sleep with a guy with stank breath,
so...
Fuck you.
You don't have to get so annoyed, all right?
What puts you in the th percentile?
That's what I'm wondering.
Okay. Well, first of all, l, um...
What?
Besides your salary and all the money you make.
All right.
I happen to be blessed with a very big dick.
Genetics, man.
Doesn't dyeing your hair drop you down a few places?
Nope. Not at all.
Only bothers women if it bothers me.
Going gray does bother you.
- No, it doesn't. - Of course it does.
If it didn't bother you, you wouldn't smear that goop
all over your scalp billion times a day.
Hey, it's a non-issue, Jake.
Well, are table manners an issue?
See that silver thing to the left of your plate?
- That's called a fork. - Mm-hmm.
And when people eat rice, they use chopsticks or a fork.
Yeah, and grown people don't eat...fried rice
with their bare hands.
You don't know how to behave.
You're busting my balls on the way I eat?
You spend the whole week
figuring out how to defraud foreign governments --
whatever you do -- and then you get out of there
and you go out to the strange world
outside your office called reality...
and you don't know how to behave.
- Oh, yeah? - I rest my case.
You gonna tell me about reality?
Jacob, you're a rich Jewish kid from the Upper East Side
who's ashamed of his wealth.
You walk around unhappy -
trying to make up for the fact that you were born privileged.
Fuck that.
You know what?
That's just some knee-jerk liberalism bullshit, man.
You call that reality?
So what's Monty?
Let's see.
Monty's going to prison.
He's a doughnut -- big, fat zero.
Yo.
Let's not go to practice. Just today.
So don't go.
Let's go to my house.
Come on, Nat. Let's go.
My mother won't be home till late, either.
And there's food.
Good, 'cause I ain't got no money.
Vito's home.
So?
What's that?
Nothing. I don't care.
You don't care, Nat?
What do you mean now?
Yeah, right.
You know you likededed him forever.
I never likededed him.
You're always trying to hook us up
because you want me to be your sister-in-law,
but it ain't never happening.
Don't front like you don't likededed him.
Nat, please, okay?
Every day you come to my house --
"Vito, walk me home" --
Every day? What kind of bullshit is that?
Anyway, he's always with that girl.
- What's up, Simon? - Monty, how you doing?
- Good to see you, man. - Good to see you.
Who's that?
It's a new guy. He's Golden. He's good.
Now, you know what I told you.
He's big. It's like, "Beep, beep" --
back up your truck, man, you know what I'm saying?
All right, Simon. I'll handle my business, all right?
- Just trying to help. - All right. Take it easy.
When did he break up with her?
Like a month ago.
But she don't stop.
She calls the house, she calls, she hangs up.
Please. Please.
Did he break up with her, or she broke up with him?
He needs somebody good.
Excuse me.
- Why doesn't he -- - Excuse me.
- You got a light? - What?
Can I borrow your lighter for a second?
Thanks a lot.
What's he doing?
He's loco.
Yo, I've met you before, haven't l?
You do look familiar to me. How do I know you?
Yeah. You were in my brother's class.
Pete.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know who you are.
Yo, Nat, come on. Let's go.
We got practice.
I'll catch up.
Yeah, all right.
Whatever.
You stupid.
- What do you got practice for? - Basketball.
Seriously? You play?
Come on. What are you, a guard?
Three spot.
You play small forward? No shit?
That means you're strong and quick.
I play the one -- point.
You skip too many of these things,
they'll give you the boot -- for real.
I just want to finish my cigarette.
Funny. You don't -- I don't know.
I wouldn't have made you for a ballplayer, you know?
You look more like a...
Iike a...runner, like a track star.
Where you from?
No, I mean -- you from Uptown?
U.F.A.? You on a scholarship?
What, I can't be from Riverdale?
You can be from wherever you want. Just...curious.
I didn't mean nothing. I was just...
You know, l-I was on scholarship, too.
It's a good thing. You -- you're lucky.
What -- what's your name?
Nat? Natalie?
- Naturelle. - Naturelle?
Are you serious?
Naturelle. Wow. I like that name.
How old are you?
.
Are you ?
- Why? - 'Cause it's not every day
I meet a girl as pretty as you who plays the three spot.
That's deadly.
- How old are you? - I'm old enough to have to ask.
You're too old to be hanging out on the playground.
I wasn't hanging out.
I was... I was passing by.
What if I was ?
It might shorten the conversation a little.
But you're not. You're so we got no problem.
What do you say I come and see you play sometime?
Seriously. I'd like to.
Maybe.
Maybe?
Okay.
I'll be the one behind the bench yelling, "Get back on 'D'!"
See ya.
Hey.
Come out here and meet somebody.
Who's that?
She's just the girl for you.
Hey, Jody.
You back there?
- Hey, baby. - Hey, sweetie.
How you doing?
- Hi. - Hi.
Is this your little brother, Frank? He's a cutie.
Don't bother with me. I'm in the nd percentile.
Oh. That's probably because you don't work on Wall Street.
The scale is skewed to the money thing.
- Everybody knows about this. - Everybody knows.
Anybody at this bar.
You see that ass?
- She's beautiful. - Mm-hmm.
Man.
One of the guys at school --
this, uh, biology teacher, Terry --
- Mm-hmm. - Did you ever meet Terry?
No, I don't think so.
Anyway, he, uh, he -- he really likes this girl.
- Like a student? - A student.
- - Yeah.
- A junior. - Oh, man.
I mean, the girl's maybe.
I don't know.
Uh, she's not really pretty,
um...not in the, uh, classical sense,
but she...
I don't know. She's -- she's got something.
- You know. - Mm-hmm.
I told Terry, you know, to just forget about it, you know?
He's kind of obsessing,
and it's kind of scary the way he talks about it.
But he's like... "Five years from now,
"she'll almost be out of college.
One of the guys at school --
this, uh, biology teacher, Terry --
- Mm-hmm. - Did you ever meet Terry?
No, I don't think so.
Anyway, he, uh, he -- he really likes this girl.
- Like a student? - A student.
- - Yeah.
- A junior. - Oh, man.
I mean, the girl's maybe.
I don't know.
Uh, she's not really pretty,
um...not in the, uh, classical sense,
but she...
I don't know. She's -- she's got something.
- You know. - Mm-hmm.
I told Terry, you know, to just forget about it, you know?
He's kind of obsessing,
and it's kind of scary the way he talks about it.
But he's like... "Five years from now,
"she'll almost be out of college.
"l mean, I'll be .
"You know, and...you know?
Nothing wrong with that, you know?"
You haven't fucked her yet, huh? Have you?
No, I'm sorry. Were you listening to what I just said?
No, I haven't fucked her.
Of course...
That's good, because, man, big mistake.
Well, l... I mean, I'm not a pervert.
You know what a man should never ask in a Victoria's Secret?
What?
"Does this come in children's sizes?"
Think about that.
- What's that supposed to mean? - It's literal.
- It's a joke. - It's literal?
Why do we always have to do this?
Why can't we just sit down and just shut the fuck up,
have a beer, have a drink?
What's the matter with you?
Francis Xavier Slaughtery.
Hey, baby.
- How are you, Naturelle? - Hey.
- Nice to see you. - You too.
- Hi. - How you doing, Jake?
Nat.
- You look fantastic. - There you go.
Thank you.
What are you boys up to?
Frank's just flirting with the bartender.
Oh, yeah? What's the verdict?
Guilty of looking good.
Oh, she's just tits, Francis.
Oh, yeah? Did you see her ass?
The girl's got a fine ass. She's oozing sex appeal.
Oh, she's oozing something.
- -
See, that right there -- that is so typical.
That's what I'm talking about, Jake.
Why is it that a woman walks in the room with great tits,
every other woman in the joint says that she's a slut?
I have great tits. I'm not a slut.
Says you. Another thing --
Hey!
When I call a girl and I say, "Hey, we're gonna meet
for a dinner at this particular place,"
why can't I get off the phone for a half an hour?
That's a sickness. You guys have a sickness.
And tell me this. Please explain this to me.
Why is it that women feel the need to cry
after having great sex?
- Hmm? - Oh.
Yeah. Why is that?
What is up with that, all right?
Oh, my God.
- What? - Are you serious?
Yes.
Well, it's a joy thing, it's not --
Oh, please.
You're just a sad fuck, Francis.
Looks like you've been, uh, demoted
from the th percentile right there.
Yeah. Thanks, Jake.
You should've been here earlier.
You missed a great story about Jake's imaginary friend.
Okay.
So, where's your man?
Not like he's ever on time.
Better be tomorrow.
How's his dad doing?
He looks like he's aged years in the past couple months.
That's too bad.
Come on. Come on.
We got to keep this upbeat,
make sure he has a good night tonight.
All right.
Why don't you give us some more sex tips?
That'll cheer things up.
- - Touché.
Where's the little girls' room?
Thank you.
I know she cries after having sex with him.
I'd bet good money on that shit.
You'd like to know, wouldn't you?
Set 'em up for the dead-end kids.
- Hey. - Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
You been waiting long?
No. We got here early.
Yeah. Naturelle?
Bathroom.
Hey. These are on me.
- Cheers. Thank you, Jody. - Thank you.
You guys ought to come by Sunday for my birthday party.
Yeah.
Thanks, Jody.
You don't have to come.
I was just -- I was just saying.
- No, thanks. - Thank you.
Fuck Sunday.
- Hey. - Fuck Sunday.
Whole city came out to say goodbye.
You got a lot of young fans.
Yeah.
I think we're the oldest people here.
"We"?
This is my guy.
How you doing, big man?
Mr. Man -- the man's arrived!
Coming and going at the same time.
Seven years, man -- that shit ain't no joke.
Man, that's nervous, man.
That's the word.
Damn, you all right?
I'm trying not to think about it, you know?
What -- what is this? What -- what's going on here?
That's the legendary DJ Dusk, man.
That's my man from Fort Greene.
He's nice. years old, man.
- ? - Motherfucker's !
But he gets the girls jumping, man.
And don't worry about the crowd.
- V.I.P '. s set up for y'all. - These are my people here.
Do you want us to come in here?
No, you're going through the back, and the door'll be open.
- Don't worry about that. - Thank you.
Hey, listen up, don't lose your temper
until it's time to lose your temper,
you hear me?
Take care of yourself.
I'll catch you on the other side.
I'll see you when I see you.
Hey, Elinsky!
Mr. Elinsky! Oh, my God!
What are you doing here?
I-I didn't know that you ever left the school.
I thought you had a bed in the boiler room or something.
Um...
Mary D'Annunzio.
Mary "B-minus" D'Annunzio, that's me.
I-I'm kidding. It's not a big deal.
No, it's okay. I'm here with friends, so I have to go.
That guy who came to class today? He knows people, right?
I mean, so, do you think he could get us in?
No, I don't -- I don't think --
You know, they're not letting anyone in right now.
They say it's already too crowded,
but I have to get in there -- I mean, I have to.
You're a fan of Dusk?
Yeah, s-sure.
He's the absolute truth, right? I mean, he is so truth.
I can't believe that you're into Dusk.
No offense, but I thought you'd be more into show tunes
or Barry Manilow or something.
No, I think -- I think Dusk is very good.
Actually, I -- I mean, I prefer his earlier work.
- Hey, Jake! - His earlier work?
Yeah?
What are you doing?
I'm...
Come on. I got this guy, he's holding the door.
- We're together. - Let's go.
You're the guy with the dog, right?
You again. Yeah. Isn't it past your bedtime?
Oh, no. I'm with Jake. We're -- we're lovers.
- Lovers? Really? - She's kidding.
Well, come on in. There's plenty of room for lovers.
I'm here with three friends. Can -- can they come, too?
- Girls? - Mary, please.
Are you outta your mind?
We can't take a bunch of guys in. Let's go, let's go.
She can't go in there.
No, it's good, it's good.
- Monty... - What's up? These two.
Yeah, all right.
Truth.
You know, I've seen pictures of this room.
Like, Daft Punk was in here.
So, um, who are you? Are you someone famous?
Hey, D'Annunzio, what do you say
we give it a rest with the questions?
Have a little champagne.
Okay.
Who's that?
One of Jake's students.
What?
Enjoy.
Champagne for my real friends...
and real pain for my sham friends.
Cheers.
Did you like that?
Yep.
Does anyone want to go dance?
Come on, dance with me.
Go ahead.
No, go do it. I'll catch up with you.
- You sure? - Yeah.
Hey, Daphne, you got any whiskey?
What kind do you want?
McCallen ' .
I'll go see if we have some upstairs.
Hold up. I'll come with you.
Back in a flash.
I can't believe you brought my student in here.
Oh, come on.
Come on, she's cute. She's cute, she is.
She talks a little bit too much, but she's -- she's cute.
You're gonna get me fired.
You realize that?
She's gonna tell her friends,
and they're gonna tell their friends,
- and they just keep talking. - What are they gonna say?
They're gonna say you met her at a club,
you ran into her, you talked a little bit.
Seriously, I mean, you haven't done anything wrong yet.
What do you mean "yet"?
She's hot. She's all over you. She'd hop on you in a second.
She's all right?
She's my student.
I can't, you know, just touch her --
Not now, but in, like, seven months, she'll be grad--
She'll be the age Naturelle was when I met her.
- Like I said, not yet. - Okay!
Okay. Look, Jake, Jake, I'm kidding.
- Well, you know -- - I'm giving you a hard time.
You're smart. You're way too smart for that shit.
Really, you've always been smart about that stuff.
I -- I respect that. I-I really do, I do.
Here, another sip.
I tell ya, one more of these, and I'm, uh...
Yeah, I'm pissed.
Hey, listen, make me a toast.
You want me to make you a toast?
Yeah, come on. I'm not gonna see you for a long time.
I want to have a nice memory. Say something nice.
Okay.
Um...
Jesus.
Jake, relax.
Don't -- here, um, here's to Doyle.
- To Doyle. - All right.
Your dog now.
- No. - Yeah.
- He loves you. - Yeah?
He loves you, and he needs a home 'cause I'm going away.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
I mean, you've seen the size of my apartment, right?
So what? Doyle's a tough dog. He's seen worse, you know.
He'll learn to live in a small space.
He'll survive.
Yeah, but what about Nat?
No, no, she's -- she's moving in with her mother.
The woman fucking hates him,
and Doyle detests Frank,
and my father's allergic, so...
Saving him -- saving him --
I swear to God, the best thing I ever did in my life
was save that little son of a bitch
'cause every day that he's had since then,
that's because of me.
- You know what? - Will you take him home?
Will you give him a home while I'm gone?
I'd be honored.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Hoo!
This joint is jumping, boy.
There's a smorgasbord of girlies here tonight.
And you're the talent scout, huh?
You bet. How you guys doing?
- Good. - Good.
Hoo.
So who's that little tart with you, Jake?
My student.
Hot student.
What?
No!
Not the student?
"Terry's friend" -- the student?
You know what? Remind me never to tell you anything.
Okay, listen. Leave him alone.
This is the only honest man in the room.
- He's doing noble work. - All right.
Party begins without me?!
Yeah, it started without you, you fat Russian fuck.
Fat Ukrainian fuck.
Yeah, is there -- there's a difference?
Monty, my friend, you here long?
Not long.
You open shampanskoe without me.
Hey, the clock's ticking, Kostya.
I don't have all the time in the world.
- Hello, Frank. - How you doing, Kostadin?
Kostya, please -- Kostya.
- How you doing, brother? - I am good.
I am better when our friend comes back to us, no?
Jason, yes?
Jacob.
My shampanskoe, you like?
It's okay.
Monty, I have beautiful woman, very nice.
Yeah, well, I'm not really in the mood for that.
I've got a nice girl.
I know, I know. Tonight is special night.
Last night as free man.
I pick her out special just for you.
The last girl you picked out special for me had three teeth,
all in the back.
Funny you should say that.
Why? Why is it funny I should say that?
What you say, it was funny.
Kostya, you can't -- when you --
It's an expression. If you say that --
It's a, uh, euphemism, right?
Can you explain this? You're the English teacher.
Uh...
I think what he means, Kostya, is that when you say,
"Funny you should say that,"
that means that it reminds you of a funny story.
Exactly.
No, no.
It was funny what you say --
"Funny you should say that."
It still makes no fucking sense.
This is what I deal with.
I'm with you.
- See? Perfectly clear. - Come.
- You see her. - I don't think so.
Naturelle, she's dancing right out here.
We go quick. You must see this bitch.
Why don't you just find some nice girls for my friends here?
- Frank? - Nah, I'm good, good.
I'm fine.
Let's just go down.
- Come with me. - I'm good.
No, no, no. Forget that.
I gotta talk to you for, like, five minutes.
All right.
You want me to stay here?
Yeah, someone's gotta look out for Naturelle
and, you know, your -- your field trip.
Should I tell Nat that you're having sex with prostitutes?
No, don't say this.
Tell her whatever you want. Just don't go away, all right?
Hang out a minute. We'll go Uptown and get Doyle.
So, what time you wanna hook up?
I get off at : .
Are we going in the private room?
Of course, the private room.
I'm sorry, Monty.
I gotta talk to Frank for five minutes.
I'll meet you down there.
After girl, Uncle Nikolai wants talk with you.
I know, I know, Kostya. Give me five minutes.
Remember, they're waiting.
I know they're waiting! Give me five fucking minutes!
Okay.
She looks good in silver, huh?
Yeah.
You know, Naturelle -- I've told you this, right?
She's the only girl I've ever kept fantasizing about
after I slept with her.
Is that normal?
That's a pretty good kind of normal.
Hey, fellas.
- Tomorrow, huh? - That's right.
Nothing but a catnap. Stay cool, brother.
Fuck.
Fuck.
How you doing, brother? You all right?
Six months, you know.
Come on, now.
Six months before I got pinched,
I was gonna come to you with the loot --
put me in some stocks, put me in some mutuals.
Don't do this.
I'm gonna kick back, watch my coin multiply.
We're gonna get rich together.
You know, Monty, you shouldn't talk like this.
I just thought, "No, you know,
I can take out a little more to live on, a little more."
I got greedy, greedy. I just fucked myself.
Man, you're gonna wrap yourself around in a twist,
you keep thinking about this shit.
That's all I can do is think about it.
- I'm not gonna make it, Frank. - Yes, you will.
There's a thousand guys up there who are harder than me.
I mean, in a room, some junkie doesn't want to pay me,
and Kostya behind me, I'm pretty scary.
Up there, I'm a skinny white boy with no friends.
Those guys are gonna use me up and end me.
No, they won't, man.
You know why? Because you're smarter than all of them.
You're gonna get up there,
you're gonna keep your eyes open and your mouth shut.
You're gonna know the names, the whole scenario.
You're gonna have the place wired in a week.
The place is overcrowded.
They got bunk beds lined up in the gymnasium
to handle the overflow.
I'm going in a room with other guys, Frank.
So picture this -- first night, lights out.
Guards are moving out of the space,
Iooking back over their shoulders, laughing at me,
"You are miles from home."
Door closes, boom -- I'm on the floor,
I got some big guy's knee in my back.
I can give it a little go, but there will be too many of them.
Someone takes a pipe out from under a mattress,
starts beating me in the face --
not to hurt me, just to knock all my teeth out
so I can give him head all night,
and they don't have to worry about me biting.
Let's say I make it through years
minus days for good behavior.
W-What then? What kind of skills do I have?
I can't get a job in the straight world.
I can't go back to doing this.
It's years to life for a second pinch.
I mean, I --
I'm gonna be a -year-old punked-out ex-con
with government-issue dentures.
is still young.
You're gonna get out, and you and me,
we're gonna start something up -- you know, a fucking bar.
We're two lrish kids from Brooklyn.
Where the fuck would we be without a bar, right?
How can we not have a bar?
Come on, we have free hot dogs on "Monday Night Football,"
you know?
We got an old jukebox in the corner.
Green beer on St. Patty's day.
Fuck green beer, Frank.
You've been working years to get away from green beer.
God, I hate this shit, too. I'm just saying we got options.
I appreciate the thought.
I don't see it, man.
Seven years, you're gonna be running your own show.
I don't see you working with me.
We've known each other since we were .
Have I ever broken a promise to you, huh?
Have I ever once broken a promise to you?
Have I ever said I'm gonna be somewhere and not shown up?
No.
I'm gonna be there when you get out, you hear me?
I'm gonna fucking be there.
I know you will, I know you will,
but you're not gonna be there tomorrow,
and it's all about tomorrow.
Listen, I got one idea,
one way I might buy myself a little room to breathe,
but I need a big favor from you.
Cool.
Might have been lost for trying
We have been left outside
Looking at passersby
Emotion blows strong...
But it's all right
If you still belong
But it's all right
If you still belong
But it's all right
If you still belong
But it's all right
If you still belong
Jake the snake.
Jake the snake.
What are you doing?
Don't panic. Nobody here gives a shit.
I give a shit.
I give a shit!
You know what happens if someone sees me?
Beg your pardon, Mr. Elinsky.
Are you drunk?
Yeah.
And I had some "E" earlier.
I didn't need to know that.
You know, Naturelle is cool as shit.
She knows everyone who works here,
and I love that name, right?
You know, % "Naturelle."
All "Naturelle" flavors.
And what's up with her boyfriend, Monty?
It's like he owns this place.
Mary...
Mary...
Do you think it would be possible
to avoid talking about this at school...
I mean, t-this whole night?
Do you think it would be possible
for you to give me an "A" for this semester?
Tell me you're joking.
Tell me you're joking.
I'm joking.
That's what I love about you, Elinsky.
What?
What?
Huh?
What's what you love about me?
Never mind.
Hey, do you think I'm weird?
No, I don't think you're weird.
Are you allowed to stay out this late...
you know, on a school night?
Do you think my mother gives a shit?
She's probably at her boyfriend's, anyway.
I need to sleep.
Nope. Can't sleep yet.
Dusk is turning it on.
Hey...
is there a bathroom in here?
Is there?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Where is it?
It's, um...
right up the stairs.
Back there.
- You need to pee? - No.
But it's all right
If you still belong
But it's all right
If you still belong
But it's all right
If you still belong
But it's all right
If you still belong
But it's all right
Hey.
Hey.
- Can I ask you a favor? - Mm-hmm.
Keep an eye on Monty tonight, would you?
Try to stick with him.
What's the matter?
He's just acting... really strange.
He's going to prison in a couple hours.
How do you want him to act?
I want him to act like he's scared.
Well, he is scared, Naturelle.
Believe me, he's scared.
I just don't want him to hurt himself.
So will you watch him for me?
I don't think he wants me here.
Why? Why wouldn't he want you here?
You see the way he looks at me lately?
It's like he doesn't trust me.
What reason does he have not to trust you?
I'm gonna go up top, Francis.
So when you see him, just --
Cool.
I got it.
Hey.
Are you all right?
How could he do this, huh?
Just throw it all away?
I'm his oldest friend.
What'd I do to stop it? What'd I say to him? Nothing.
Not a word.
When he started selling weed to the kids at Coventry,
I didn't say shit.
Everybody's talking about buying from Monty,
you know, the whole school,
and I knew they were gonna nail him, I knew it.
I didn't say a word.
Fucking last years, I've been watching him
get deeper and deeper in with these friends of his,
these fucks who you wouldn't want petting Doyle.
And did I say, "Hey, careful, Monty,
you better cool out, man"?
I didn't say shit.
I just sat there and watched him ruin his life.
And you did, too, all right? We both did.
- We all did. - Monty never listens.
Uh-huh.
You know how stubborn he is, okay?
I told Monty he should quit a hundred times.
Did you?
Was that before or after you moved into his apartment?
Of all nights, please not tonight. Just don't start.
Who paid for the apartment?
I need a drink.
J.D., shot.
Was that before or after he gave you that platinum necklace?
Do you want to watch your mouth?
Who paid for the Cartier diamond earrings...
this silver dress you're wearing?
Paid in full by the addictions of other people.
- Back up. - That's what I'm saying.
You two fly down to San Juan, first class all the way.
What do you think paid for Puerto Rico?
You've never been to P-- listen to me.
You've never been to P R. in your life before Monty.
You told him to quit? The hell you did, Naturelle.
Back up.
You knew the deal the minute you met him.
Come on.
You never had a real job in your whole life.
You've been living off the fat of the land.
And you never said a goddamn word.
Who are you to get all righteous with me?
Huh? Did you disown him?
You're his best friend, and you never said a thing.
But this is my fault? I'm the evil one?
I never took his money. Never once, not a red --
How long have you been saving this, huh?
I came over here to talk to my friend Francis.
One minute ago, you were my friend. Are you drunk?
Tell me you've been drinking too much. You're fucking drunk.
I'm lrish. I can't get drunk, all right?
I know exactly what I'm saying.
Seven years from now, I'll be at the prison gate.
You'll be married to Monty. Right or wrong?
- Right or wrong? - What is wrong with you?
You want me to be the bad guy? Fine, I'm the bad guy.
Are you happy now?
God, Francis.
All I'm saying...
is you knew where he hid the money.
You knew where he hid the drugs, didn't you?
What the hell are you saying?
What the hell are you saying right now, Francis?
You know exactly what I'm saying.
I told Monty when he first met you,
but he wouldn't listen to me.
I told him, "Naturelle Riviera...
she ain't nothin' but a spic skank skeezer."
Nat.
I've been looking all over for you.
BARTENDER: Another one? Here you go.
Is she all right?
Can we get out of here?
Nope. We gotta wait for Monty.
I kissed her.
You what?
My student, I -- I kissed her.
Who you trying to be -- R. Kelly?
I kissed my -year-old high school student.
Jake...have a drink.
Shut the fuck up.
Excuse me. Could I -- could I have a water?
Fuck that. Hit him.
- Hit him. - Okay.
I don't want to drink anymore, Frank.
Give him the whiskey.
Shut up. Drink it.
Montgomery, how's the party?
Nice. Thanks for setting it up.
The first time I went to prison...
I was years old.
Skinny little boy... very afraid.
By the time I came out, I had a beard.
I was grown man.
I went back to my hometown.
I found my mother. I kissed her.
And she screamed.
She didn't recognize me.
I have been in three different prisons, Montgomery.
Three different countries.
And you know what I learned?
I learned prison is a bad place to be.
Seven years is a long time.
Some men would do anything
to avoid seven years in prison.
Your father is a hardworking man.
Where's his bar?
Staten lsland?
Bay Street?
He drives in from Bay Ridge -- a Jeep Grand Wagoneer.
Should I tell you how many miles he has on the car?
Your father...
I like your father...
a hardworking man.
He's had bad luck.
Everyone in the neighborhood loved your mother.
Da?
Yeah.
Everyone said she was a beautiful woman.
I want to help your father.
I could use a man like that, a hardworking man,
a man I could trust.
I could take care of your father.
Do you understand what I mean, Montgomery?
You don't have to do this. You don't --
I never said anything to anybody, okay?
Leave my father out of it.
I asked you a question, Montgomery.
Yeah. I understand exactly what you mean.
I have a good job for your father.
We'll help him with the money he owes.
No, thank you.
Good weapon.
Accurate.
And reliable.
No jams.
Have you ever fired a gun?
At someone, I mean.
No.
It's a toy for you.
Not toy, a prop. A prop for you, like an actor.
Am I wrong?
With the gun, you feel more...dangerous.
I wouldn't know. It's not mine.
I didn't say anything.
I never said anything, Nikolai. I swear to God.
They came after me to get to you.
I know that. You know that. They tried.
I never said anything.
I believe you, Montgomery.
This is my advice to you --
when you get there, figure it out who's who.
Find the man nobody's protecting --
a man without friends --
and beat him until his eyes bleed.
Let them think you are a little bit crazy,
but respectful, too.
Respectful of the right men.
You are a good-looking boy. It won't be easy for you.
But remember, I was when I first went.
I tattooed "survive" on my hand
the night before I went away to prison.
And I did.
We do what we have to do to survive.
Ugh!
Uhh!
Uhh!
Uhhh!
Monty, please! Monty!
Now we have this other problem.
How many people knew you kept the stuff inside the sofa, huh?
Your girlfriend and Kostya. Nobody else.
- Get him up. - Ugh!
Kostya ratted you out, little brother.
He made the call and stole seven years from your life.
They put the clamps on him.
And instead of being a man about it, he sold you out!
It's not true.
You know how to use it?
Yeah, I know how to use it.
Good. This man does not deserve to live.
He betrayed you. He betrayed me.
He stole from you.
He stole seven years from you. End him.
Please. No, no, no.
No, no, no. No, don't do this!
- Shut up! - No!
Shut up! Don't talk!
- You motherfucker. - They're lying.
Why'd you do it?! Why did you do it?!
You let me think it was her?! Why'd you tell me it was her?!
- Don't do this. - Why'd you tell me it was her?!
Kill this cockroach!
Why?!
No, no, no, no, Monty! No!
- Why?! Why?! - Please!
Why did you tell me it was her?!
- Do it! - I had no choice!
I had no choice, Monty!
- Why?! - Please.
Why?! Why?!
I had no choice.
I had no choice.
You told me to trust this man, I trusted this man.
Now I'm gone seven.
Clean up your own fucking mess.
Be careful.
You do whatever you want with him.
When I walk out this door, I'm done.
I'm out and my father's out.
You are being foolish.
You gonna let me go or not?
Remember what I told you.
A man...with no friends.
No, Monty, please.
- Monty, come on. - Believe me. Please.
You were my friend.
Please, Monty, I'm sorry. Don't leave me.
Come on. You are missing your party.
No!
You know what time it is?
Eh?
Do you know what time it is?
Late at night. No, it's early.
You up for a little more still?
Yeah.
Yeah. Definitely.
Hey.
Come here.
Hey, there's Jake.
Remember Jake?
Yeah. Go see Jake.
Hey, what time is it?
I still got a couple of hours.
I'm sorry for everything
I've been putting you through, Naturelle.
I've been confused.
I've been... thinking that you...
It doesn't matter.
Yeah. It matters to me.
I don't want you to hate me when I'm gone.
I could never hate you, Montgomery.
I love you.
Hey, stay with me.
I got one last thing I gotta do.
- Don't go. - I'll be back.
Wouldn't that be the life, huh?
Yeah.
Working a tugboat, be out on the river every morning.
Yeah. It'd be nice.
It'd be nice.
What time you got?
Quarter past : .
All right.
All right.
Come on.
Ready for Mr. Doyle?
Yeah.
The leash is yours.
I need you to make me ugly.
I can't go in there looking like this.
I already told you. It's all about the first day.
If they get one look at me looking like this,
I'll be finished.
Come on. you said anything. You just said you'd do anything.
This is what I need.
What are you thinking?
I'm gonna give you a black eye,
and nobody's gonna mess with you?
I need a lot more than a black eye, pal.
Would you fucking help me out here?
- I need you to fuck me up. - I can't do it.
- I think you can. - I'm not gonna hit you, Monty.
I think you want to a little bit.
What?
You think I deserve it a little. I think you have for years.
You've been giving me that look
Iike you want to smack some sense into me.
This is your chance. I need it, Frank.
This is your favor -- "Make me ugly"?!
Where the hell is this coming from, man?!
It's bullshit!
Don't pussy out on me, Frank. I need this from you.
Now, I'm not gonna fight back.
I'm not gonna be -- I'm not gonna kick you --
What the fuck do you want from me, man?!
- This is insane! - Shut up! Shut up!
Nobody's talking to you! I mean it! Stay out of it!
All right, enough! This is bullshit!
I'm gonna go get some breakfast. I'm gonna forget this shit.
No breakfast.
Listen to me. Don't do this, Monty.
What is all this bullshit you've been feeding me?
"I'm gonna be there for you, Monty"?
"I'll be there when you walk out."
He doesn't know what he's doing.
I think this whole situation's convenient for you.
What do you mean "convenient"?
You're gonna send me away, say, "Bye, Monty,"
so you can take care of Naturelle for me.
I would never fucking cross the line with her, man!
- Oh, bullshit! - You're full of shit!
Frank, he doesn't mean it.
You think I don't see the way you look at her,
at her titties, at her ass?
You've been wanting to fuck her for years.
Don't fucking do this, man!
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Stop it!
Aah!
Don't do this! Don't do this!
Do it!
- No! - Do it!
- No! - Do it! Do it!
No!
Do it!
Do it, you fucking pussy! Do it!
Aah! Aah!
No!
You're gonna kill him!
Frank.
Stop!
Frank!
Aaahhhh!
Frank...Frank...
I'm sorry!
Come on. That's enough. Stop.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, my God.
Monty! Oh, my God!
It's all right. Just get me inside.
Get me inside.
Of course I will. Oh.
Oh, my God, baby.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God, Monty, let me take you to the hospital.
Why'd you stay with me all this time?
You should have left a long time ago.
Stop talking like that.
I'll wait for you.
As long as it takes.
Don't cry, baby.
I'm such an idiot.
Oh.
Naturelle, I blew it.
I really blew it.
Who's that?
Who did this to you?
I gotta go.
Let him take you to the hospital, baby.
It's okay. It's okay.
Oh, God.
How did this happen?
I don't know. He just showed up like this.
Monty...
He's a mess.
God, look at him.
Oh, God. These people are hooligans.
I'll take him to the hospital.
Say goodbye here, Pop.
You don't trust my driving?
I can't do it this way.
You just gotta let me walk away, Pop.
Please. It's easier.
Yeah. Easier?
My God, you don't understand.
Let me drive you there.
I need to know where it is for visits, you know?
O-Okay, buddy?
Help me out.
Help me out?
Okay.
Give me the bag.
No hospital, Pop.
No hospital.
Let's go.
I gotta go.
Wait one second. Wait, wait, wait.
No, no.
I don't want you coming up there to visit me.
No.
I want you to be happy,
so I want you to forget about me and live your life.
Mnh...
I figure we take the Henry Hudson
to the Sprainbrook Parkway,
then to the Taconic.
That should get us there.
Easy drive to Otisville.
Ow.
Aw, Jesus, look what they did to you.
I tell you what, Monty, it's gonna be okay.
It looks bad, I know it.
But when the swelling goes down, it's gonna be okay.
Yeah.
Them hooligans sure give you a licking, though, huh?
How many were there?
I don't know, Pop. There was a bunch of 'em.
You get some good shots in?
Yeah, I got some good shots in.
Ah, give it a month.
You'll be better-looking than ever.
Hey, Pop...
You were right. It wasn't her.
It wasn't Naturelle.
Of course it wasn't Naturelle.
Cool dog.
Cool dog.
Give me the word, and I'll take a left turn.
Left turn to where?
Take the GW Bridge and go west.
Get you stitched up somewhere and keep going.
Find a nice little town.
On the way, stop in Chicago for a Cubs game.
You always told me you wanted to see Wrigley Field.
Dad...
I'm saying that if you want it...
if that's what you want, I'll do it.
No, they'd take your bar.
My bar. Jesus. My bar.
They can take my bar to hell and back.
You think my bar is more important to me than you,
my only child?
Give me the word, and we'll go.
They'll find me.
They'll find me sooner or later.
You know how they find people?
They find them when they come home.
People run away, but they usually come back.
That's when they get caught.
So you go... and you never come back.
You never come home.
We'll drive.
We'll keep driving.
Head out to the middle of nowhere.
Take that road as far as it takes us.
You've never been west of Philly, have you?
This is a beautiful country, Monty.
It's beautiful out there.
Looks like a different world --
mountains, hills, cows, farms, and white churches.
I drove out west with your mother one time
before you was born.
Brooklyn to the Pacific in three days.
Just enough money for gas, sandwiches, and coffee,
but we made it.
Every man, woman, and child alive
should see the desert one time before they die.
Nothing at all for miles around,
nothing but sand and rocks and cactus and blue sky.
Not a soul in sight.
No sirens, no car alarms, nobody honking at you,
no madman cursing or pissing on the streets.
You find the silence out there.
You find the peace.
You can find God.
Ye'll take the high road and I'll take the low road
And I'll be in Scotland afore ye
But me and my true love will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond
So, we drive west.
Keep driving till we find a nice little town.
These towns out in the desert --
you know why they got there?
People wanted to get away from somewhere else.
The desert's for starting over.
Find a bar, and I'll buy us drinks.
Two.
I haven't had a drink in two years,
but I'll have one with you.
One last whiskey with my boy.
Take our time with it --
taste the barley, let it linger.
And then I'll go.
I want you to keep that.
I'll hold it for you.
I'll tell you, "Don't ever write me.
Don't ever come visit."
I'll tell you, "l believe in God's Kingdom,
"and I believe I'll be with you again and your mother,
but not in this lifetime."
You get a job somewhere...
a job that pays cash,
a boss who doesn't ask questions.
And you make a new life and you never come back.
Monty, people like you.
It's a gift.
You make friends wherever you go.
- How you fellas doin'? - Two beers.
You're gonna work hard.
You're gonna keep your head down and your mouth shut.
You're gonna make yourself a new home out there.
Here you go, James.
Thanks a lot.
You're a New Yorker. That will never change.
You got New York in your bones.
Spend the rest of your life out west,
but you're still a New Yorker.
You'll miss your friends, you'll miss your dog,
but you're strong.
You got your mother's backbone in you.
You're strong like she was.
Hey.
You find the right people, and you get yourself papers.
Why don't you go ahead and have a seat?
A driver's license.
- What's your name? - Uh, James.
James. Not from around here, are you?
No, I'm from out west.
Well, let's go ahead and get your picture.
Be still. Give me a smile. Okay.
Why don't you give me a bigger smile, James?
Come on, big, bigger. Okay.
You forget your old life.
You can't come back.
You can't call. You can't write.
You never look back.
You make a new life for yourself, and you live it.
You hear me?
You live your life the way it should have been.
And maybe...
This is dangerous,
but maybe after a couple of years,
you send word to Naturelle.
Mmm. Oh.
...
... ... .
- Happy New Year. - Happy New Year.
Mmm.
Feel that right there.
Your mother's a lunatic.
Hurry up. I need company.
You get yourself a new family,
and you raise them right, you hear me?
Give them a good life, Monty. Give them what they need.
You have a son.
Maybe you name him James. It's a good, strong name.
And maybe one day, years from now,
Iong after I'm dead and gone, reunited with your dear mother,
you gather your whole family together
and tell them the truth,
who you are and where you come from.
We were in New York together.
You tell them the whole story.
I was arrested.
And then you ask them
if they know how lucky they are to be there.
All of you...
It all came so close to never happening.
...came so close to never happening.
This life came so close to never happening.
Down at the courthouse, they're ringin' the flag down
Down
Long black line of cars snakin' slow through town
Town
Red sheets snappin' on the line
Line
With this ring, will you be mine?
The fuse is burning
Shut out the lights
The fuse is burning
Come on, let me do you right
Trees on fire with the first fall's frost
Long black line in front of holy cross
Blood moon risin' in a sky of black dust
Dust
Tell me, baby, who do you trust?
The fuse is burning
Shut out the lights
The fuse is burning
Come on, let me do you right
Tires on the highway hissin', something's coming
You can feel the wires in the treetops hummin'
Devil's on the horizon line
Your kiss and I'm alive
A quiet afternoon, an empty house
On the edge of bed, you slip off your blouse
The room is burning with the noon sun
Sun, sun
Your bittersweet taste on my tongue
Tongue
The fuse is burning
Shut out the lights
The fuse is burning
Come on, let me do you right
The fuse is burning
Shut out the lights
The fuse is burning
Come on, let me do you right
The fuse is burning
The fuse is burning
The fuse is burning
The fuse is burning
The fuse is burning
The fuse is burning
The fuse is burning