The Tenant Script - Dialogue Transcript

The Tenant Script

  Quiet, Mirza. Mirza, quiet now. 

- Good afternoon, madame. - Yes, what is it? 

I'm sorry to bother you. I was told about an apartment. 

This is the right building, isn't it? 

Who told you? 

A friend of mine. Well, a relation, actually. 

The door. 

I gather it's a small two-room apartment? 

Think that's all I got to do? Some people think a concierge is a slave. 

Not me. Would it be more convenient if I came back later? 

You have to speak with Monsieur Zy. I can only show the apartment. 

I don't want to be a nuisance, but if it were at all possible, 

and if I might offer you some small compensation for your trouble, 

which is only reasonable. 

What a lovely little dog you...you are. You're Mirza, aren't you? 

It's... It's a nice name, Mirza. 

I'm sorry. 

The previous tenant threw herself out of the window. 

You can still see where she fell. 

Look. 

He's going to have to fix that. 

She's not dead yet, though she might as well be. 

She's in the Bretonneau Hospital. 

What if she gets better? 

Don't worry. She won't get better. You're on to a good thing here. 

Poor woman. What are the terms? 

There's a fee for water. The plumbing is new. 

The tap was on the landing. 

- And the toilet? - Over there. Go around the corridor. 

That's a view worth looking at! 

How much is the premium? 

The rent is 600 francs a month. 

The premium I'm not sure about. I think he wants 5,000 francs. 

5,000? That's a lot of money. 

It's not my business. You'll have to talk to Monsieur Zy. He lives down here. 

I have to get back now. 

{y:i}All right, we're not deaf. 

- We don't give to charity. - It's about the apartment. 

- What apartment? - On the floor above. 

Could I speak to Monsieur Zy? 

Good afternoon. 

- Have you seen the apartment? - Yes. I wanted to discuss the terms. 

5,000 premium, 600 a month. 

That's a lot of money. I couldn't pay more than 4,000. 

- The concierge told you about the water. - Yes, she did. 

It's damned hard to find an apartment. 

A student on the sixth floor gave me half that for a single room. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not criticising your apartment, 

but the toilet is a problem. 

Suppose I got sick, which I don't often do, I can assure you, 

and I had to relieve myself in the night. It wouldn't be very convenient. 

On the other hand, I could pay you the 4,000 right away in cash. 

It's not only a question of money, let's be clear about that, monsieur... 

Trelkovsky. 

Trelkovsky. 

I won't exactly starve without your 5,000. 

I'm renting the apartment because it's vacant. They don't grow on trees. 

Of course. It's perfectly reasonable. I understand your point. 

Could I offer you a cigarette? 

You want 5,000, fine. But if you got paid by cheque, you'd have to declare it. 

Wouldn't you rather get 4,000 in cash? 

I'd rather get 5,000 in cash. 

It's perfectly natural. Anyway, the former tenant is not dead yet. 

If she comes back, you won't even get 4,000. You get nothing. 

Are you married? Excuse the question, but it's because of children. 

This is a very quiet building. My wife and I are getting on now. 

I wouldn't say that, Monsieur Zy. 

I know what I'm saying. My wife and I are getting on. We don't like noise. 

You needn't worry. I'm very quiet and I'm a bachelor. 

Bachelors can be a problem, too. 

If you want a place to entertain girls, 

I'd rather take 2,000 and give it to someone more needy. 

I quite agree, but I'm not that type. 

I can't give you a definite answer while Mademoiselle Choule is still alive. 

But I like you. You seem to be a serious young man to me. 

I want to visit Mademoiselle Choule. 

Simone Choule? 

- Are you a relative? - I'm a friend. 

Can I help you? 

- Are you the head nurse? - Yes. 

Good. I was told at reception to see you first. It's about Mademoiselle Choule. 

- Bed 18. - May I see her? 

She's not to be disturbed. She was in a coma until yesterday. 

Go ahead, but don't try to talk to her. 

He said he'd come by Wednesday... 

Are you a friend of hers? 

Excuse me. 

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. 

I was with her the night before. No, two nights before. 

She was in such good spirits. 

Why would she do a thing like that? 

To tell you the truth, I'm not close. I hardly know her. 

But believe me, I'm terribly upset about what's happened. 

It's awful. 

Simone? 

Simone? 

You do recognise me, don't you? 

It's me. Stella. 

Your friend Stella. Don't you recognise me? 

You'll have to leave now. 

Your bag. 

Is there any hope of saving her? 

If we can save her, we save her. 

Careful. You mustn't give in to your grief. 

If you like, we could have something to drink. I think it would help you. 

There is a... 

Here. 

What would you like to drink? 

I don't know. 

I'll have a beer. No, a coffee. 

- Coffee. And the lady? - I don't want a coffee. 

Have something strong. It will pick you up. 

I'll have a small glass of Beaujolais. 

Small glass of Beaujolais and...a martini. 

- No coffee? - No, no. A martini. 

I forgot. I have a phone call to make. 

I'll be right back. 

- Come here. - All right, I'm coming. 

I'll never understand suicide. 

I have no argument against it but it's beyond my comprehension. 

Did you ever discuss it with her? 

Never. 

I just can't believe it. 

It's terrible. Terrible. 

It's terrible. 

Could it have been a disappointment in love? Something like that? 

- Who with? - I don't know. Some man. 

You know she wasn't interested in men. 

Yes, I know, but... 

Women as sensitive as she was, she is, I mean, 

tend to have much more complicated relationships than they seem to. 

Perhaps she will pull out of it anyway. 

I doubt it. 

Did you notice that she didn't even recognise me? 

A tragedy. 

Hey, man. Got any bread for an artist? 

- I don't have any change. - I don't care. I'll take what you got. 

I've only got notes. 

Don't look cheap in front of your girlfriend. 

Not a word of thanks. 

I don't like tramps. You shouldn't have given him anything. 

- Would you like to have a drink? - No. Thanks. 

Right. Goodbye then. 

- Goodbye. - Hope to see you soon. 

- What is it? - Just came over from CNMA. 

- Was it sent by Monsieur Lott? - Right. 

- That must be the Villa LeDuc. - Yes, that's right. 

Yes, that's the Villa LeDuc. "Unmounted number 2601. 

"Make a detailed copy of spire as indicated in the lower left-hand corner." 

You have to do it by next Thursday. 

I'm calling to ask if you have any news about Simone Choule. 

{y:i}- What department is she in? - Surgery? 

{y:i}- Choule? With a C? - That's right. Simone Choule. 

{y:i}- Are you a relative? - No. I'm a friend. 

{y:i}The patient died at 4.20 p.m. yesterday. 

Thank you. 

Yes... Goodbye. 

- Morning, monsieur. - Morning. 

- Live opposite? - Yes. I just moved in. 

You rented the apartment of that girl that jumped out of the window? 

Yes. Did you know her? 

Sure I did. Came in every morning. 

Always sat in the same place, right there where you are now. 

A cup of chocolate and a roll. Never coffee. 

She'd say, "lf I have a coffee I can't sleep for two days." 

- It's a question of habit. - Would you like a chocolate? 

A question of temperament, too. 

A young girl like that killing herself. I can't imagine why. 

No reason at all, probably. A moment of depression and wham, it's all over. 

Robert. 

- Do you sell cigarettes? - Yes. What would you like? 

- Gauloises bleues, please. - I'm out of Gauloises. 

- What else? - Gitanes and Marlboro. 

Mademoiselle Choule smoked Marlboro. Would you like a pack? 

No. No, thank you. 

Simone Choule, the Lord has taken thee to His bosom, 

just as the shepherd brings in his sheep at the close of day. 

What could be more natural, of greater consolation? 

Is it not our fondest hope that we shall one day rejoin the flock of holy ones? 

Hope of eternal life, the true life, 

shorn of all worldly cares, 

face to face in eternal blessedness with Almighty God, 

who through His servant, our Lord Jesus Christ, 

died for us on the cross, 

who deigns to look down upon us poor mortal creatures, 

full of love, infinitely merciful, 

the sick, the suffering, the dying. 

Yes, the dying. 

The icy tomb. 

Thou shalt return to the dust from whence thou came 

and only thy bones remain. 

The worms shall consume thine eyes, 

thy lips, thy mouth. 

They shall enter into thine ears, they shall enter into thy nostrils. 

Thy body shall putrefy unto its innermost recesses 

and shall give off a noisome stench. 

Yea, Christ has ascended into heaven and joined the host of angels on high. 

But not for creatures like you, full of the basest vice, 

yearning only for carnal satisfaction. 

How dare you pester me and mock at me to my very face? 

What audacity! What are you doing here in my temple? 

The graveyard is where you belong. 

Thou shalt stink like some putrefied corpse lying on the wayside. 

Verily I say unto thee, thou shalt never enter into my kingdom. 

Four, three, two, one, zero! Our hero. 

There he is! Hey, Trelkovsky. The lucky lodger. 

- Lucille Pampin from Nice. - On the Riviera. Best blow job in Paris. 

- Very pleased to meet you. - How do you do? 

What, no more chairs? What a dump! 

There is a table, right here. 

Your fiancée can come sit on my knees. 

It's against my principles. Give me a hand. 

Grab that end, will you? 

Careful, huh? 

- Put it right in the middle. - That's it. Much nicer. 

There's a bed here. Let's use that. Move that table over. 

Get the table out of there. 

- Want me to do anything? - Thank you. 

- Let me finish that. - Just get this salad finished. 

- Have you met Viviane? - Hello. 

Hurry up. It weighs a ton. 

- Set her down. - Easy does it. 

What the hell is this? 

Is that one of yours? 

Oh, no, cut it out. He's got a heart of gold. 

- How about you? - No, I hadn't planned. I know. 

He's got the heart of a chick. 

You'd do it for a little bread. 

I wouldn't. You could offer me a fortune, I still wouldn't dream of it. 

You think there's anyone dumb enough to offer you a fortune? 

She's talking about the principle, jerk. 

You know what I think of your principles? 

- What do you think? - It's a lot of crap. 

I tell you, I'd do it for nothing. 

- Absolutely nothing. - It takes all kinds. 

Nobody wants me to, but I'd pay them to let me. 

I saw one once. Makes you want to throw up. 

- Can we change the subject? - And talk about women's lib? 

Keep women's lib out of it. 

Have you looked at those militants? It's enough to turn you queer. 

Look at that pig. He's actually pissing in the sink. How revolting! 

Get off my back. It's not my fault there's no john in this crummy apartment. 

- Monsieur? - You're making a great deal of noise. 

It's after one o'clock. You're making a great deal of noise. 

We're just having a quiet chat. 

Quiet? I live upstairs and I can hear every word you're saying. 

You've been dragging furniture around, stamping all over the place. 

It's intolerable. Do you intend to carry on much longer? 

Who is that asshole? 

Look... 

I'm terribly sorry I woke you. I'll be more careful from now on. 

You don't seem to give a damn about anyone else. 

It's all very well to have a good time but some people have to work. 

Tomorrow's Sunday. It's reasonable to have company on a Saturday evening. 

No, monsieur. It's not reasonable to make such a racket, 

even on a Saturday evening! 

We'll be more careful. Goodnight. 

Soon you won't even be able to jerk off without him knocking on the door. 

- Don't let him push you around. - You should counter-attack. 

- We've got to take revenge. - Let's set the joint on fire. 

- Throw scorpions down his chimney. - Or crabs. 

We'll drill a hole in the wall and force gas into it. 

Make a hole in the floor. 

- You're such a moron. - He only thinks below the belt. 

- He's throwing us out of the house. - It's late. 

- Meanie! - Let's find someplace else. 

- Let's go. - Somebody pass me my coat. 

- Be careful. - Come on, on your feet. 

Let's go, everybody. 

- Goodbye, everybody. - Come on, everyone. 

Goodnight. 

- Everybody out. - One hell of a party. 

Goodnight, my friend! 

Don't make so much noise. People are sleeping. 

Good morning, Monsieur Zy. Lovely day, isn't it? 

I'm terribly embarrassed about last night. I promise it won't happen again. 

I hope not. You woke up both me and my wife. We couldn't get back to sleep. 

What was the meaning of all that? 

I thought I'd have a few friends over 

to celebrate my good fortune in having found this lovely apartment, 

as sort of a housewarming, without disturbing anyone. 

And then, you know how it is. 

With the best will in the world, 

not dreaming of disturbing anyone, 

you talk, you're having a good time. 

Before you know it, you're making so much noise that... 

I'm sorry. I can promise you it will never happen again. 

I'm glad to hear that, Monsieur Trelkovsky. 

Because I was seriously thinking of taking steps. 

Apartments are hard to come by, so it's worth keeping the one you have. 

"Outraged neighbour shoots tipsy tenor for singing La Tosca at 3 a.m. 

"Louis Marais, aged 39, bachelor, came home after one drink too many 

"and proceeded to sing opera with his windows wide open. 

"When a neighbour, Monsieur Pierrot, asked him to put off his warbling, 

"Monsieur Marais responded with an air from Tosca sung on the hall landing. 

"Pierrot emptied a gun into the poor tenor, 

"who died before reaching hospital. 

"The murderer is under arrest." 

You there! Quiet down! 

How much longer are you gonna keep up this racket? 

Who is it? 

{y:i}It's me. 

- What can I do for you? - Did you register the complaint? 

Complaint? Against whom? 

Against me for causing a disturbance at night. 

I never made any complaint. 

Someone has registered a complaint. It came this morning. 

She's the one who makes noise all night. 

- Who? - That old woman. She's evil. 

She's done all she could to make things difficult for us, 

just because the girl is disabled. 

- You didn't register a complaint? - Of course not. 

It must have been her. 

I asked downstairs. They said it might have been you. 

We go to bed early, not like her. 

She can't sleep at night so she walks up and down her apartment, 

moves the furniture around. 

She keeps me and my daughter awake. 

Do you know what she did, monsieur? 

Jammed a broom against my door. 

I had to heave it open with all my strength. 

I twisted a muscle in my shoulder. She wants to have us thrown out. 

She can't have you thrown out. 

I never make any noise, monsieur, honestly. 

Even if you did, they can't throw you out like that. 

- Are you sure? - Absolutely. 

God bless you. 

God bless you, monsieur. Thank you. 

- What about your neighbours? - I'm getting used to them. 

It's a question of habit. They have to get used to me too, you know. 

If they keep bugging you, Simon and l know a few ways of dealing with them. 

- Eh, Simon? - We know some great tricks. 

We could come around at night and yell up at you from the courtyard. 

Hey, Trelkovsky, come out for a drink! Get moving! 

Or we could knock on the floor below after midnight. 

And shout, "On your feet, shitface, we're off to the park for a blow job." 

You know... 

There is something odd going on in my building. 

I see people in the toilets, on the other side of the courtyard... 

What are you? A peeping Tom? 

People together in the shithouse? Like an orgy? 

No, they just stand there for hours, you know? 

Absolutely dead still. 

- They're playing with themselves. - Not at all. 

They stand dead still. Can you play with yourself without moving? 

- Drink? - What are you having? 

- Beer. - Beer's fine. 

- What's the matter? - Nothing. Just... 

Don't worry. I know what I'm doing. 

- Turn it down a little. - Leave it alone. They're used to it. 

But it's too loud even for us. 

Try and get used to it. Try to enjoy it while you can. 

You can't do it at home. 

Neighbour? 

I hope so. 

Sorry to bother you, monsieur. I see you have company. 

But I wonder, could you turn down the sound a little? My wife's sick. 

She's sick, is she? What am I supposed to do? Stop living because of her? 

If she's sick, why doesn't she go to a hospital? 

I'll play my records when I want and as loud as I want. 

I'm a bit hard of hearing but that's no reason to be deprived of my music. 

And don't try anything funny. I know the superintendent of police. 

See? That's how you deal with them. 

- What if his wife...? - So? 

I don't moan to him when I don't feel well. 

He won't come back either. I can promise you that. 

Just a moment, please. 

Who is it? 

{y:i}Is this Simone Choule's apartment? 

Yes. 

It used to be. I'm the new tenant. 

Has she moved, then? 

Come in, please. Don't stand there like that. 

Nothing's happened to her, I hope. 

- Please sit down, monsieur...? - Badar. 

Pleased to meet you, Monsieur Badar. My name's Trelkovsky. 

I'm afraid there's been an unfortunate... 

Did you know her well? 

Did I know her? 

She committed suicide. 

She threw herself out of the window. 

Would you like to see...? 

Why... Why would she do a thing like that? 

No one seems to know. 

Do you know Stella? She doesn't know either. 

No one knows why she did it. 

I went back to the Egyptian department at the Louvre this morning. 

I found a nice postcard and I sent it to her. 

What irony! 

Years of affection without daring to say anything. 

I acted as though we were just friends each time I saw her, 

which wasn't very often, I can tell you that. 

It just isn't fair. 

The day I summon up enough courage to tell her, 

I find out... 

I find out she's... 

Why? 

Why didn't I ever tell her? 

She's gone without ever knowing it. 

We're closing, Monsieur Trelkovsky. 

Life isn't worth living any more. 

- You mustn't... - Six francs 60. 

You mustn't think like that. You're young, you'll forget. 

Wait. 

Wait a minute. 

Thank you. 

I can promise you she didn't suffer. 

And she didn't say anything? 

- You're sure? - Absolutely certain. 

All right, all right. 

It's my round, for Chrissakes! Drinks for everyone. 

Everyone except him. 

Don't mind him. He's drunk. Drunk. 

- What you've done for me... - It's natural. 

- It's not natural. It's not natural at all. - It is natural. 

There aren't many guys around like you. It's as simple as this. 

You saved my life. 

- Morning. - Good morning. 

Cup of chocolate, Monsieur Trelkovsky? 

Why not? 

- Gauloises bleues, please. - Yes. 

I wanted some Gauloises. 

I thought you said Marlboro. I've run out of Gauloises. 

Robert will be here soon. I'll send him out for some. 

Don't bother. I'll take the Marlboro. 

Yes, I know! 

I know I'm making a noise. 

You should have knocked before when the thieves were here. 

Perhaps they did knock before. 

This can't go on any longer. You kept everyone awake again. 

All the neighbours are complaining. 

Are you talking about last night? 

Of course I am. You made a fiendish racket. 

I made it clear you wouldn't stay for long if you behave like that. 

I shall be forced to take steps. 

I've been robbed, Monsieur Zy. I'm on my way to the police station. 

What do you mean? My house is a respectable place. 

- If you're trying to get out of this... - It's true. 

My television is gone, my camera, one of my suitcases. 

I see. 

Well, I'm very sorry for you, but why are you going to the police? 

To tell them what happened. 

Now look, Monsieur Trelkovsky. 

- This is an honest house. - There's no question... 

Let me finish. You know how careful I am in choosing my tenants. 

I let you have the apartment because you seemed honest. 

Otherwise if you'd offered me a million francs I'd have refused. 

If you go to the police, 

they'll come round asking all sorts of questions, useless questions. 

All that can have a disastrous effect on our reputation here. 

- I'm saying this for your sake, too. - For my sake? What have I done? 

Once anyone gets involved with the police, they're looked on with suspicion, 

especially if they're not French. 

But I'm a French citizen. 

I know you've done nothing wrong, but others won't know that. 

They'll suspect you of God knows what. I know what I'm talking about. 

I know the superintendent of police. I'll have a word with him about this. 

He'll know what to do. 

Oh...and by the way... 

The former tenant always wore slippers after ten o'clock. 

It was much more comfortable for her. 

And for the neighbours. 

- A pack of Marlboro. - Gimme a pack of Gauloises. 

A pack of Marlboro, please. 

There she was. She was in a ward... 

- A pack of Gauloises. - One franc 60. 

See you next week. 

Hello. How are you? 

Very well. I just came in for cigarettes. 

Come and join us. These are my friends. 

- May l? - Of course. 

- Hi. - Hi. 

We were just talking about Simone. 

- Simone? - Simone Choule. 

This is the guy I told you about, the one I met at the hospital. 

We were the last to see her alive. 

Stella told us Simone didn't seem to know her. 

- I don't think she did. - And you? 

- Me? - She didn't recognise you either? 

It's hard to say. I couldn't be sure one way or the other. 

Maybe she was trying to say something when she screamed like that. 

Anyway, that's the impression I get when I think back on it. 

She was looking at you when she let out that cry. 

- You think so? - You know... 

I still have some things of hers at home. It's depressing. 

- What have you got of hers? - Some books, a couple of records. 

There's one of Simone's books. 

- I haven't read it. - Nor have I. 

I'm not interested in Egyptology. 

She left it behind one evening. You can have it if you like. 

Oh, you're very kind. I would love to read it. 

It's a magnificent place you've got here. Better than where I live. 

If you don't mind me asking, is the rent very high? 

I don't pay for it. It belongs to my brother. 

He's gone off to Peru for a few months, a year, travelling. 

Do you have trouble with your neighbours? 

- What sort of trouble? - You know... 

These days, relationships with neighbours can get quite complicated. 

You know, little things that get blown up out of all proportion. 

- You know what I mean? - No. 

No, I don't. 

I mind my own business. 

So do I. It's the best way. 

If you like, I'll take you home after. 

Shall we go back to your place? 

My place? 

OK? 

Sure, fine. 

Only my place is a bit... 

It's a bit difficult. In fact, it's impossible. 

Why? Have you got a girlfriend? 

Not exactly. 

It's just that I've been repainting and the place is in chaos. 

Chaos. 

We could still spend a couple of hours there. 

On top of that, my uncle is just up from the country, 

staying a few days. 

How about your place? 

Take off your coat. 

I'll be right back. 

I'd love something to drink. 

Cheers. 

Cheers. 

Why don't you take your tie off? You look like you're choking to death. 

I found a tooth in my apartment. It was in a hole. 

A tooth? 

In a hole? 

Yeah. 

A hole in the wall. 

Wrapped in cotton wool. 

So? No need to pull such a long face over a tooth. 

A bit weird though, isn't it? 

Not really. When I was young, we did it all the time. 

Whenever one of my teeth fell out I used to hide it. 

My mother said it would turn into a coin. 

Coin. 

Oh, God. 

- Stella, I was wondering... - Yeah? 

A tooth... 

A tooth is a part of ourselves, isn't it? 

Like a...bit of our personality. 

I don't know what you mean. 

I remember in the newspaper, 

a man lost his arm in an accident and wanted to have it buried. 

He wanted to do what? 

- Have it buried in the cemetery. - He must have been nuts. 

The authorities refused. The arm was cremated and that was that. 

Where did this happen? In France? 

I wonder if they refused to give him the ashes 

and if so, by what right? 

Haven't you got anything more cheerful to talk about? 

All right, that'll do. 

Don't worry. 

Tell me... 

At what precise moment... 

...does an individual stop being who he thinks he is? 

You know, I don't like complications. 

Cut off my arm. I say, "Me and my arm." 

You cut off my other arm. I say, "Me and my two arms." 

You...take out... 

...take out my stomach, my kidneys, 

assuming that were possible... 

And I say, "Me and my intestines." 

Follow me? 

And now, if you cut off my head... 

...would I say, "Me and my head" or "Me and my body"? 

What right has my head to call itself me? 

What right? 

Oh, God. 

Monsieur Trelkovsky? 

Stay. Stay, Mirza, stay. 

You were out all night, huh? 

Yes, I... 

I had to stay with my uncle. He isn't well. 

I'll tell Madame Dioz you're back. 

Madame Dioz? Who's Madame Dioz? 

This isn't for me. 

Look. 

"Best wishes from the Louvre. 

"Georges Badar." 

I'd like to have a word with you, monsieur. 

Please come in, madame. 

I am Madame Dioz. 

- I'm very pleased to meet you. - This is why I'm here. Please read it. 

It is a petition against the unspeakable Madame Gaderian. 

She's gone too far this time, and we've got to do something about it. 

Look. Even Monsieur Zy has signed. There. 

Who is Madame Gaderian? I don't know her. 

You don't know her? Who do you think makes all that dreadful noise? 

It is her, my dear young man. 

She does her washing up in the middle of the night 

and she whistles at the same time. 

- Does a civilised person do that? - I suppose not. 

Go on, then. Sign. It's simply a question of solidarity. 

She's making life impossible for...for the other tenants. 

Is she the one who lives with a disabled daughter? 

Disabled? No. 

She has a boy, a horrible, noisy brat 

who's always playing skittles or God knows what in the corridor. 

Are you sure? Are you absolutely certain she doesn't have a daughter? 

I don't know what goes on in their lair. 

Ask the concierge. 

I'm sorry, I'm not signing any petition. 

This woman has never bothered me. 

I've never seen her or even heard of her. 

What apartment does she live in? 

I shall make a note of your attitude. 

I see what this is. Everyone for himself and never mind anyone else. 

- Not at all. - I know your type exactly, 

like that man opposite, up until he was struck down with paralysis. 

Then his neighbours let him stew in his own juice. 

By all means, do whatever you think best. 

But I warn you, don't come whining to me later. 

Bastards. 

What do you want me to do? Drop dead? 

My wife is always... 

It's for me. 

It's no use playing innocent. 

I've heard a good deal about you, Monsieur Trelkovsky. 

You specialise in breaches of the peace at night. 

I'm quite amazed, lnspector. 

No one has said anything to me. 

I'm not in the habit of making noise. I have few friends and never entertain. 

I'm not interested in your stories. I have other things to do. 

I keep receiving complaints and it's my duty to maintain law and order. 

So I say it once and for all, stop whatever it is you're doing at night. 

Trelkovsky. Is that a Russian name? 

Polish. 

- So you're not French? - I'm a French citizen. 

Let me see your identity card. 

It's in a very poor state. 

You haven't registered your change of address. 

15 rue Sedan, where is this? 

I'm terribly sorry, I'll do it at once. 

You'll be well advised to. 

Right. This time I shall close my eyes to the whole business. 

Make sure I don't hear about you again. I won't have you disturbing the peace. 

Thank you very much, lnspector. 

Goodbye. 

Good afternoon, madame. 

I would like to know who registered a complaint against me. 

Do you know who it was? 

If you didn't make so much noise there wouldn't be any complaints. 

Was there a petition? 

Was it that woman that came to see me the other day? Madame Dioz? 

You only have yourself to blame. 

Did you sign it? 

That's it. She's won. 

They've all signed it. All except you, monsieur. 

Thank you. You're a good person. 

I don't like to get involved. 

Nonsense. You're a good person. I can see it in your eyes. 

I got even with them. The concierge, too. She's as bad as all of them. 

I paid them back, all right. 

They gave me the idea. Do you know what I did? 

I did it. On the staircase, in front of everyone's door. 

It's their own fault. They gave me the idea. 

I didn't do it by your door. I don't want to cause you any trouble. 

- How long ago? - Just now. 

I would love to see their faces when they find out. 

- It serves them right, all of them. - They'll say I did it. 

Goodnight, monsieur. Sleep well. 

Hey, look. 

They'll drive me to suicide. 

All right. I'll show them. 

Gorgeous shoes, my dear. 

So pretty. Where in the world did you find them? 

Oh, it was... I don't know... 

80 francs, you're kidding. 

Supermarket, yes. 

She's not as young as she thinks she is. 

Beautiful, beautiful. 

Adorable. 

A goddess, divine. 

Divine. 

I think I'm pregnant. 

Monsters! 

Monsters! 

They'll never turn me into Simone Choule. Never! 

Monsieur Trelkovsky. 

Do you remember the conditions on which I let you move in? 

I do, Monsieur Zy. May I know what you're referring to? 

- I'm referring to women. - Oh, yes, of course. 

Then, why do you bring them here? 

What? I never brought any women here. 

I know you did. You had a woman in your room. You can't deny it. 

I'll turn a blind eye to it this time. 

But this is the last time. I hope that's clear. 

Good morning, Monsieur Trelkovsky. 

Bring me a coffee. 

- You don't want a chocolate? - No, I want a coffee. 

- You always have a chocolate. - You never ask me what I want. 

Today I'm telling you, I'd like a coffee. 

I'm sorry, but... 

The problem is, you see... 

The machine's broken down. 

- You won't have a chocolate? - No! Why should l? 

Nothing to get sore about. 

I'll have...a glass of red wine. 

I suppose you're out of Gauloises. 

- That's right. We've only got Marlboros. - You can keep them. 

I know just what you're up to. 

A gang of murderers! 

No good looking at me like that. 

I know exactly what your little scheme is. 

- What's the matter? - My boat. 

- Which one? - The red one. 

Now, don't cry. What's your name? 

Patrick. 

And you've lost your boat, the red one? 

OK, I'll get it back for you. 

Filthy little brat. 

It's him! He's there! 

God! What's that? 

I'll fight. 

I'll fight to the bitter end. 

{y:i}Who is it? 

It's me, Trelkovsky. 

Were you sleeping? 

What's the matter? 

Sorry to bother you at this hour of the morning. 

Would you mind if I stayed here for a while? 

You're strange. 

You must tell me, then. I wouldn't mind, really. 

No, of course you can stay. 

Look, you're hurt. 

It's nothing, really. 

- But it's filthy. - That's nothing. 

Wait. I think I've got some... some things here. 

How did you do that? 

It's them. 

Who? 

They're trying to kill me. 

They'll drive me to suicide. 

What are you talking about? Who's trying to kill you? 

Stella, I've been lying to you. 

I'm living in her apartment. 

Whose apartment? 

Simone's. 

I've rented Simone Choule's apartment. 

- How did you rent it? - She's dead because of the neighbours. 

It was a plot. 

- Plot against Simone? You're insane. - I'm not insane. Listen. 

They forced her to commit suicide. 

I can prove it. 

And they're trying to do the same thing to me. 

Everything's ready. They worked it all out, every detail. 

Do you know what they've been doing to me? 

It's so appalling, so incredible that I can hardly tell you. 

It's true, I swear it. 

Tell me. Tell me, I'm listening. 

They've been trying to turn me into Simone Choule. 

There now. I'm your friend. 

- They're trying... - I'll help you. Come now. 

- To turn me... - You're exhausted. 

...into Simone Choule. 

I'll leave Paris in a couple of days. They'll never find me. 

You're right, yes. That's the best thing to do. 

You're the only one I can trust. 

It's me, Stella. 

Don't be frightened. 

You do recognise me, don't you? 

Sorry. 

I was having a nightmare. 

I must get to work now. I'm late. I'll be back around eight. 

I left your breakfast ready. 

- I love you. - And I love you. 

I even went out and bought you some croissants. 

Please stay. Don't leave me alone. 

I'm late. If you want to go out, just leave the keys under the mat. 

I'll have another pair made tomorrow. We'll each have our own set then. 

- Please don't go. - Don't be naughty now. 

You're to be good and stay here. 

There's everything you need. If you like, you can go out and get some fresh air. 

I'll bring food back and we'll eat in 

or go out to a restaurant if you like. We'll see how you feel. 

See you tonight, then. 

{y:i}Is anyone there? 

{y:i}Is anyone there? 

Filthy bitch. 

They're all in it together. 

They're all in it together! 

They're all in it... 

They're all in it together! 

- Stop here. Stop. - Hey, what's wrong? 

Nothing. I'm getting out. 

- Is that all right? - Yeah. 

Thank you, monsieur. Thank you very much. 

Have you got any idea where I can buy a gun? I'll pay good money. 

Get out of here, you little punk. 

- He wants to buy a gun, this bugger. - What? 

I'll tell the cops, you little shit. 

I told you not to drive so fast. Now look what's happened. 

Monsieur, are you hurt? 

People who can't drive should take taxis. 

How dare you? My wife hasn't had an accident in 25 years. 

He's right. The guy walked right under the wheels. I saw it all. 

Let me through, please. Excuse me. Let me through. 

Excuse me, I'm a doctor. 

Murderers! Murderers! 

Believe me, my wife and I are very upset about what's happened. 

Stand back. On the kerb. 

- Officer, this is how it happened... - Your ID, please. Yours too, monsieur. 

You're very lucky. 

Only a few scratches. 

Nothing broken. But you should have an X-ray. 

It's nothing serious. It's a mild case of delirium tremens. 

These people have made a statement and offered to drive him home. 

Or should I call an ambulance? 

If the gentleman can manage, it's fine. 

We'll be glad to give this poor man a lift home, of course. 

We'll take you home, huh? 

That is preposterous. No, please! 

They were trying to kill me. They were playing football with a human head. 

I'll give him a shot to calm him down. 

No injection. I don't want an injection. I don't want... 

They tried... They tried to kill me. 

Mirza, quiet down. 

Good evening, madame. This gentleman has had a slight accident. 

- Nothing serious. - What did he do now? 

We'd better get him up to his apartment. 

How did it happen? 

He sort of jumped out in front of the car. 

Luckily my wife has very good reflexes. 

What's going on here? 

It's him again. 

Oh, you bastard! 

Stay. Stay, Mirza, stay. 

- What's that? - Down in the courtyard. 

We'd better call an ambulance. Go get one, quick. 

You shouldn't move. 

I swear I'm not Simone Choule. 

Quick, get him a blanket. 

- Murderer! - Another suicide! It's unbelievable. 

Look how he's dressed. He must be insane. 

And we just finished repairing the roof. 

I knew there was something wrong with him the first time I saw him. 

Oh, God, Monsieur Trelkovsky. Be reasonable, wait for the ambulance. 

You gang of killers! 

I'll show you some blood. 

You wanted a clean death, didn't you? 

- Be reasonable. - It's going to be dirty. 

Unforgettable. 

It was better last time, wasn't it? Well, I'm not Simone Choule. 

I'm Trelkovsky. 

Trelkovsky. 

- All right, all right. What's goin' on? - A tenant jumped out of the window. 

- Again? You're getting them wholesale. - Where is he now? 

He's gone back up to his apartment. I think he had some kind of a brainstorm. 

- He's gonna jump again! - He's not gonna do it again? 

Take it easy. Don't move. We'll come up and get you. 

Be reasonable now. 

Oh, God, no. 

Monsieur Trelkovsky, don't do anything silly! 

Are you a friend of hers? 

I'm sorry. 

What on earth could have happened? Why would she do a thing like that? 

To tell you the truth, I'm not a friend of hers at all. 

I hardly know her, actually, but... 

Simone... 

Simone... 

You do recognise me, don't you? 

It's me. Stella. 

Your friend Stella. 

Don't you recognise me?