Twin Falls Idaho Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Twin Falls Idaho script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Polish Brothers movie about Siamese twins.  This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Twin Falls Idaho. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. You won't hurt my feelings. Honest.

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Twin Falls Idaho Script


  

  

 

                   

Okay, this is a good Cosmo quiz.



 

                   

''You're walking

to your lover's house.



 

                   

Do you take the long road

full of scenic views...



 

                   

or the short one

that gets you there fast?''



 

                   

lt totally depends

on what l'm wearing.



 

                   

- The short road.

- Okay.



 

                   

''You come upon a bed of white

and red roses, and you pick   .



 

                   

How many white and how many red?''



 

                   

All red.



  

                   

Sissy, you have to talk to Manny.



  

                   

He's not gonna kick you out.

He's just pulling that landlord trip.



  

                   

Besides, you're gonna pay him

half the money tonight anyway.



  

                   

Don't worry about it.

You can always stay at my place.



  

                   

Okay. l'll see you later.



  

                   

You can keep the change.



  

                   

l've got a couple of things to do,

but l'll be home later tonight, okay?



  

                   

Okay. Thanks. Bye.



  

                   

Tonight, it's

the ''Tail of Two Cities. ''



  

                   

Hi.



  

                   

Fingers and hands inside.



  

                   

The seventh floor, please?



  

                   

Fifty-two years,

and I have yet...



  

                   

to guess the desired floor.



  

                   

Fifty-two years--



  

                   

You gettin'...



  

                   

married?



  

                   

No, not today.



  

                   

You here to see...



  

                   

Jesus?



  

                   

This is close as we get

to this floor.



  

                   

Dearly beloved, we have come together

in the presence of God to witness...



  

                   

and bless the joining together

of this man and woman in holy matrimony.



  

                   

What's that smell?



  

                   

- lnto this holy union...

- Pee.



  

                   

Julio Juan Garcia

and Libby Margarita Chinchilla...



  

                   

now come to be joined,

hallelujah.



  

                   

Which one's  -B?



  

                   

See those brown ones

on the left?



  

                   

Yeah.



  

                   

lt's one of those.



  

                   

This one?



  

                   

What's it look like?



  

                   

What?



  

                   

Describe the door.



  

                   

Look, it's a brown door.

They all look alike.



  

                   

It's the next one down.



  

                   

Hello?



  

                   

Francis?



  

                   

Francis Falls?



  

                   

Hello. l'm Francis.



  

                   

Please have a seat.

Sit down.



  

                   

ls everything all right?



  

                   

Fine. Just a minute.



  

                   

You know, this hotel

is full of freaks.



  

                   

You look pretty normal

for a place like this though.



  

                   

Hello.



  

                   

This is my brother, Blake.



  

                   

Hello.



  

                   

Would you like a cup of water?



  

                   

Sure.



  

                   

Make your wish.



  

                   

Hello?



  

                   

l left my purse.



  

                   

May l please get it?



  

                   

Can l use your phone?



  

                   

- Hello?

- Jay Harrison's office?



  

                   

Jay, it's Penny.



  

                   

l need to borrow some money.



  

                   

l don't have a dime.



  

                   

l went to Sissy's.

She's not there.



  

                   

Fuck.



  

                   

Then l'm homeless.



  

                   

You're a lawyer. Can't you send

a letter or something?



  

                   

Okay, good, good.

Call me back.



  

                   

l'm at the lmperial Hotel.

lt's on ldaho.



  

                   

lt's room  -B. Okay.



  

                   

As soon as possible,

'cause l'm stranded. Okay?



  

                   

Thanks.



  

                   

Would you like

another piece of cake?



  

                   

Do you mind if l wait

for my call?



  

                   

We don't mind.



  

                   

Oh, my God.

What's wrong?



  

                   

Here.

There you go.



  

                   

ls he all right?



  

                   

He'll be fine.



  

                   

Francis. Here, Francis.



  

                   

How are you feeling?



  

                   

l brought a friend

to check you both out.



  

                   

Don't worry.

Miles is a friend.



  

                   

He's a doctor.

He's outside in the hall.



  

                   

Look, l won't bring him in

if you don't want me to.



  

                   

The doctor can examine you both,

find out what's wrong.



  

                   

Maybe get you guys

some medicine.



  

                   

Look, he won't tell anyone

about you both.



  

                   

Trust me. His wife would not want

a call from a patient like me.



  

                   

Okay?



  

                   

Come on.

What do you say?



  

                   

Yeah? Okay. Good.



  

                   

Can you get both of you

over to the bed?



   

                   

- Yeah.

- Yeah? Okay.



   

                   

l'm gonna go get him, all right?

Okay.



   

                   

What are you doing

in a place like this?



   

                   

l thought you had given up

on this...



   

                   

get-rich-quick profession.



   

                   

- Well, it's funny. l ain't rich yet.

- Well...



   

                   

as long as you don't start

to smoke the pipe.



   

                   

Yeah. Me, the crack whore.



   

                   

A penny for your thoughts.

You all right?



   

                   

l'm fine.



   

                   

lf you ever want to find out

how he's doing...



   

                   

or some information--



   

                   

l don't need a reminder, Miles.



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

Hello, boys.

l'm Miles...



   

                   

Penny's doctor,

when she feels like it.



   

                   

Relax.



   

                   

l'm no surgeon.



   

                   

You're both visiting from Siam?



   

                   

No, sir.



   

                   

l didn't think so.



   

                   

Penny calls me saying she wants me

to examine some sick Siamese.



   

                   

ln Siam...



   

                   

all they would do is...



   

                   

examine your hands...



   

                   

to determine your...



   

                   

illness.



   

                   

But since we're in America...



   

                   

l have to question your heart.



   

                   

l need your help

to lift up your shirt.



   

                   

l want you to take a deep breath,

using your mouth.



   

                   

Hold it.



   

                   

Have you been eating anything

apart from the birthday cake?



   

                   

Some cotton candy, yesterday.



   

                   

Penny's quite the gift, huh?



   

                   

Hey, Captain,

who's steering the ship?



   

                   

lf you can...



   

                   

l want you to hold your breath...



   

                   

and exhale slowly.



   

                   

Well...



   

                   

Penny knows my phone number...



   

                   

if both of you

want to see me again.



   

                   

We thank you, Doctor.



   

                   

Wow!



   

                   

Conjoined twins.



   

                   

Aren't you getting

a bit fancy these days?



   

                   

You examined them, right?



   

                   

You want to know how many--



   

                   

Come on, Miles.

Are they gonna be okay?



   

                   

The one on the left, Francis...



   

                   

has a case of the flu,

which is causing...



   

                   

nausea and vomiting.



   

                   

lt's a little unusual--



   

                   

one having the flu...



   

                   

and the other exhibits no symptoms.



   

                   

l'm positive they share

the same blood.



   

                   

lf his condition deteriorates...



   

                   

bring them to the clinic,

will you?



   

                   

This should ease the nausea

and migraine for a couple of days.



   

                   

Get it as soon as you can.



   

                   

You all right?



   

                   

Yeah, l'm all right.



   

                   

Ah, Miss lndependence.



   

                   

You see two people depend

on each other for survival...



   

                   

it makes you feel

kind of queasy, huh?



   

                   

Quite a marriage.



   

                   

What, are you my shrink now? Can't you

just send the prescription over here?



   

                   

Why not?



   

                   

Why didn't you calI

an ambulance?



   

                   

Get them some proper food.



   

                   

What do they eat?



   

                   

Food, l assume.



   

                   

Thanks, Miles.



   

                   

My wallet's in my jacket.



   

                   

l wasn't stealing.



   

                   

l was just looking for money

for your medicine.



   

                   

My jacket's on the chair.



   

                   

l took    okay?



   

                   

Look, l got the medicine

for Francis.



   

                   

Here. Drink some water.



   

                   

Thank you.



   

                   

Are you hungry?



   

                   

l bought you some food.



   

                   

l bought you

some barbecue chips...



   

                   

and some soda which is supposed to

be really good for an upset stomach.



   

                   

l didn't really know

what you guys ate.



   

                   

ls he gonna be okay?



   

                   

Francis doesn't take

to traveling much anymore.



   

                   

Why are you two here?



   

                   

We came here to visit a relative.



   

                   

But how come you

don't get sick?



   

                   

Who'd take care of Francis?



   

                   

Here.



   

                   

Let me.



   

                   

There you go.



   

                   

Here.



   

                   

Thank you.



   

                   

Here.



   

                   

- Hello?

- Hey, still there?



   

                   

- Jay?

- l have a job for you.



   

                   

- Now?

- Yes, now. Right now.



   

                   

- But who?

- Same price, people and circumstances.



   

                   

You know, Jay, l'm getting tired

of this cheap companion.



   

                   

What are you talking about?

Hold on a second.



   

                   

Okay, okay, okay.



   

                   

We really need to sit down

and reorganize my life.



   

                   

This alternative route to stardom

is such a dead end.



   

                   

How about breakfast

tomorrow morning?



   

                   

- Okay.

- All right?



   

                   

l got my calling.



   

                   

Thank you for watching over us.



   

                   

lt's the least l could do.



   

                   

l need something

to level my karma...



   

                   

which right now

is completely unbalanced.



   

                   

l'm sorry about how l reacted

last night.



   

                   

That's okay.



   

                   

lf you didn't buy a ticket,

we usually send you screaming.



   

                   

Maybe l'll see you two around.



   

                   

Maybe l'll call you...



   

                   

when l'm single.



   

                   

Hello?



   

                   

And three legs. Three.



   

                   

lt was weird.



   

                   

And one of them was sick.



   

                   

But Miles didn't tell me

anything about it.



   

                   

Blake. Blake talked to me.



   

                   

It seems he takes care

of the other one, Francis.



   

                   

So how many arms do they have?



   

                   

They have two.

They had a right and a left.



   

                   

l mean, they had one each.



   

                   

And then Blake, he took

the medicine for Francis...



   

                   

'cause Francis

didn't want to take it.



   

                   

lt seems that Blake has no choice

but to take care of him.



   

                   

So did they have two--



   

                   

l don't know.

l didn't see anything.



   

                   

Well, then, how many feet?



   

                   

Two. No. No, no, no.

They had three.



   

                   

And they shared the middle one.



   

                   

But it looked okay.



   

                   

lt looked okay?



   

                   

Need anything else, dear?

Another slice of pumpkin pie?



   

                   

No, thanks, Dottie.



   

                   

So, yeah...



   

                   

they weren't ugly though.



   

                   

l mean, they didn't look ugly.



   

                   

l don't know.



   

                   

lt was like they were

just any two...



   

                   

brothers.



   

                   

Could you imagine

being their mother?



   

                   

Trick or treat.



   

                   

Trick or treat.



   

                   

Just a moment. l need to get

some candy for you boys.



   

                   

Well--



   

                   

let's see what we have here.



   

                   

You two boys have made

a really great costume.



   

                   

lt kind of frightened me.



   

                   

l thought you two were real.



   

                   

Well, you look real too.



   

                   

Real?



   

                   

Like our mother.



   

                   

l'm sorry.



   

                   

- How much did you get?

- l don't know. How about you?



   

                   

l got some warheads.

Hey, wait up.



   

                   

They're in my section.



   

                   

They're two twins, and they're

the best costume l've ever seen.



   

                   

l've worked here for    years,

and l've never seen anything like this.



   

                   

lt is so real.

Now, you gotta go and check them out.



   

                   

They're dressed like Siamese twins.

l-- They've really got it down.



   

                   

- Which table?

- Two.



   

                   

Blake and Francis.



   

                   

- What are you guys doing?

- Trick or treating.



   

                   

Where?



   

                   

- Main Street.

- Near Second.



   

                   

That's cool.



   

                   

Have a seat and some candy.



   

                   

Nobody knows.



   

                   

Except that woman over there.

She keeps staring at us.



   

                   

Did your mother have to put up with

shit like that when you were kids?



   

                   

- We don't have a mother.

- You have a mother.



   

                   

Well, what he's trying to say is

we don't have a human mother.



   

                   

- Thanks.

- Thank you.



   

                   

What do you mean?

Then how were you born?



   

                   

Promise you won't flip out?



   

                   

- l promise.

- Okay.



   

                   

Right before we were born--



   

                   

We grew too big

for our mother's stomach.



   

                   

So they put us inside a cow.



   

                   

A cow? No way!



   

                   

- Do you want to hear this or not?

- Okay.



   

                   

l'm sorry.



   

                   

For a month and a half...



   

                   

we were inside

the cow's stomach.



   

                   

And the cow delivered you?



   

                   

Well, they let the cow out

to graze.



   

                   

And one morning, they saw us

running around in the pasture.



   

                   

l don't believe you.

Come on.



   

                   

Okay.



   

                   

Francis, say ''mom.''



   

                   

Mom!



   

                   

Hey, you guys wanna go

to a party?



   

                   

lt's a photographer l know.

lt's supposed to be huge.



   

                   

Come on.



   

                   

You can't let that vintage look

go back in the closet.



   

                   

Who knows when chocolate brown

will be back in style?



   

                   

- Do you really want to go?

- Sure.



   

                   

- We'll go.

- We'll go.



   

                   

Good, then l have a date.



   

                   

Actually we can walk.

lt's just by Third Street. Okay?



   

                   

Okay.



   

                   

Wow, it looks great, Tre.



   

                   

Oh, thank you so much for coming.

l'm so glad. You look great.



   

                   

Look at you.



   

                   

Well, hi. Don't be rude.

Who are your friends?



   

                   

Uh, l'm sorry.

Blake, Francis, this is Tre.



   

                   

Oh, my!



   

                   

How tragic is this?



   

                   

l love it!



   

                   

Are they both straight?

You know my mind just wanders.



   

                   

Wouldn't it be tragic if one of them

fancied boys and the other fancied--



   

                   

Oh, my God, l can't bear

the thought. The horror.



   

                   

You know what? We're gonna

go get a drink. We'll see you later.



   

                   

Oh, okay, have fun.

l'll catch up with you later.



   

                   

Don't worry. Tre has no idea.

Are you both okay?



   

                   

- Yeah.

- Fine.



   

                   

- You?

- Yeah, fine.



   

                   

What do you both

want to drink?



   

                   

- Nothing.

- A beer.



   

                   

Okay, l'll be right back.



   

                   

I need another.



   

                   

- What?

- They're here. Those Siamese twins.



   

                   

- Shh.

- Things.



   

                   

l may be really fucked up...



   

                   

but are you two, like, brothers?



   

                   

l'm sorry. You were whispering.

l couldn't hear you.



   

                   

Yes, we are brothers.



   

                   

Twins, then?



   

                   

Yes.



   

                   

Wonderful!



   

                   

Who's older?



   

                   

Caesarian.



   

                   

That's the Greek method?



   

                   

Well, then, who came out first?



   

                   

Caesarian. We were both born

at the same time.



   

                   

How fucking amazing is that?



   

                   

There's another couple here...



   

                   

and they're dressed like Siamese...



   

                   

but they don't look

anything like you two.



   

                   

Look, they're over there.



   

                   

- What?

- Now, l trust you, Sissy.



   

                   

You're not gonna tell anybody

that they're real, are you?



   

                   

Come on, Sissy. Promise me.



   

                   

Sissy, show some compassion.



   

                   

lt is the one night the entire year

that they are normal.



   

                   

One night of the whole entire year.

Don't ruin it.



   

                   

Okay, okay, l promise.



   

                   

Thank you.



   

                   

What's the matter?

ls somebody bothering you?



   

                   

Here, Francis.



   

                   

Thanks.



   

                   

Francis, would you like to dance?



   

                   

Sure.



   

                   

Blake, would you like to dance?



   

                   

Sure.



   

                   

Penny, you've got to be

shitting me.



   

                   

Sissy just told me your two friends

aren't in a costume.



   

                   

You've got to let me

photograph them.



   

                   

- A photo of those two in Prada.

- No, Tre!



   

                   

Okay, no fashion.

How about a super tasteful nude?



   

                   

Just think about it. lt's all about

their plumbing anyway, right?



   

                   

No, they're not freaks,

and l'm leaving, okay?



   

                   

Wait! What, you think l can't

sympathize with them?



   

                   

l'm a weeping freak. l've got women

inside me screaming to get out.



   

                   

- l gotta go.

- Let me--



   

                   

Fine. Bye-bye.



   

                   

This is it.



   

                   

You like my place?



   

                   

lt's Christmas every day.



   

                   

Relax, it's okay.



   

                   

ls that you?



   

                   

You think it looks like me?



   

                   

Well, it's a little hard to tell.



   

                   

You have a lot of makeup on.



   

                   

You don't like it?



   

                   

No. lt's just that

clowns wear a lot of makeup.



   

                   

My mother mailed it to me.



   

                   

She was really happy

to see me in a magazine.



   

                   

But you know what?



   

                   

l don't think that model

looks like me.



   

                   

Anyway, that heavy makeup thing is so

last season. l'd never do that now.



   

                   

Traveling so long



   

                   

Without you



   

                   

Really don't know



   

                   

Much about you



   

                   

I just wish



   

                   

The night



   

                   

Away



   

                   

On a vision



   

                   

Holiday



   

                   

Living my life



   

                   

Around you



   

                   

Really don't know



   

                   

Much about you



   

                   

Oh, wow.



   

                   

That was so cool.



   

                   

You guys should go play

in a bar or something.



   

                   

l mean, l would pay money

to go see you guys.



   

                   

l've always wanted

to play the guitar.



   

                   

Blake-- he's always

looking for a singer.



   

                   

Aren't you, Blake?

Aren't you?



   

                   

What, to start a band?



   

                   

Someone to sing duets with.



   

                   

l can sing.



   

                   

Do you know any, um, duets?



   

                   

Yeah. ''lslands in the Stream.''



   

                   

l don't know that one.



   

                   

Try ''Jackson.''



   

                   

Do you know any country tunes,

like ''Jackson'' by Johnny Cash?



   

                   

No, l don't know that one.



   

                   

lt's pretty easy. lf you sit down,

l can teach it to you.



   

                   

- Really?

- Yeah.



   

                   

Okay, wait. First, l'm gonna

change into my western outfit.



   

                   

lt's gonna be really cool, okay?



   

                   

''Jackson''?



   

                   

Shut up.



   

                   

You don't even sing

that song with me.



   

                   

Do you know an easier song?



   

                   

''l'm in Love.''



   

                   

By who?



   

                   

You-- Blake Falls.



   

                   

Here.



   

                   

l can't play it

and press the chords...



   

                   

so l'll show you

where you put your fingers.



   

                   

Okay. Here.



   

                   

You want me to use--



   

                   

- Put one finger here.

- There?



   

                   

- Yeah. There and there.

- And there.



   

                   

- Okay?

- Yeah.



   

                   

- Wait. There.

- There.



   

                   

There.



   

                   

Here's the poster

of your new band.



   

                   

This is you...



   

                   

and this is you, Penny.



   

                   

ls my butt that big?



   

                   

No, you've got a nice back yard.



   

                   

lt's just that

this drawing's a bit abstract.



   

                   

Abstract?



   

                   

- lt's what l see.

- No, it's not what he sees.



   

                   

lt's what he sees and interprets

and then expresses in a drawing.



   

                   

So, you look at my ass

and then draw a big one?



   

                   

He sees your--

He likes your butt...



   

                   

and draws a big one.



   

                   

So everyone who sees your butt

in this drawing...



   

                   

and then sees your butt

in real life...



   

                   

they, um, say...



   

                   

''Well, Penny's got a pretty

nice butt in real life.''



   

                   

Good one, Blake.



   

                   

So, Francis...



   

                   

where are you in the drawing?



   

                   

There's not enough room

in this picture.



   

                   

Are you guys tired?



   

                   

Do you want some coffee?



   

                   

No, thank you.



   

                   

Are you tired?

Do you want to go? Okay.



   

                   

- You're welcome to stay here.

- That's your choice.



   

                   

l mean, l stayed at your place.



   

                   

Plus, you don't want to go

back to that hole anyway.



   

                   

Okay, fine.



   

                   

l'll get

the marshmallows out, okay?



   

                   

Who is it?



   

                   

What is up with the outfit?



   

                   

They're in there, huh?



   

                   

What are you gonna do with them?



   

                   

Nothing.



   

                   

Holy shit. Are you--

Are you gonna get--



   

                   

Am l gonna what?



   

                   

- No way. Penny, you--

- What? They're just two brothers.



   

                   

They got three legs. They got two arms.

What's the big deal, Sissy?



   

                   

Oh, and how many--



   

                   

That l'll have the answer to

in the morning.



   

                   

Really?



   

                   

l'll see you in the morning.



   

                   

Are you fucking with me?



   

                   

You know, maybe we can all

get married in Utah.



   

                   

They accept that kind

of relationship there, right?



   

                   

Wait. ls it only

two girls and a guy?



   

                   

l don't know.

See you tomorrow.



   

                   

lf you ever want to find out

how he's doing...



   

                   

or some information--



   

                   

''Bruise.''



   

                   

lt's the new color

by Urban Decay.



   

                   

- Can l try it on you?

- Sure.



   

                   

Yeah? Okay.



   

                   

Which piggy's that?



   

                   

That's mine.



   

                   

l control...



   

                   

the right foot

and this right leg.



   

                   

And the middle foot...



   

                   

and, um...



   

                   

this foot here.



   

                   

Which one?



   

                   

This one.



   

                   

That toe and that toe

l have a little control of.



   

                   

l guess we'll start here, then.



   

                   

Do you ever get lonely?



   

                   

When?



   

                   

Well, l was thinking,

you were born with somebody...



   

                   

at your side.



   

                   

So l was wondering

if you ever got lonely.



   

                   

You don't have to answer me

if you don't want to.



   

                   

No, that's okay.



   

                   

l just never get

a question like that.



   

                   

lt's usually if Francis and l

share the same dick.



   

                   

The minute l wake up...



   

                   

and the minute l fall asleep.



   

                   

Two minutes of every day

l feel lonely.



   

                   

l try to grab those two minutes.



   

                   

and toss 'em

before they get ahold of me.



   

                   

Two minutes isn't that long.



   

                   

Long enough...



   

                   

to remind me.



   

                   

Of what?



   

                   

Of who I am.



   

                   

Of who we are.



   

                   

What are you doing?



   

                   

Your nail polish is wet.

l'm blowing on it.



   

                   

Can Francis feel that?



   

                   

Can he feel this?



   

                   

Close your eyes.



   

                   

No, l don't think so.



   

                   

Okay. Good.



   

                   

Good morning.



   

                   

l'm going to meet my lawyer

for breakfast.



   

                   

l should be back around noon.



   

                   

Are you two gonna be okay here?



   

                   

We'll be fine.



   

                   

What's it like

being with someone all the time?



   

                   

l don't know any different.



   

                   

l've nothing to compare it to.



   

                   

Do you ever think about separation?



   

                   

Blake always says...



   

                   

''We checked in together...



   

                   

we'll check out together.''



   

                   

Blake could live a normal life

when l go.



   

                   

He has a very strong heart.



   

                   

He's the reason why my blood pumps

and my heart beats.



   

                   

l'm alive because of Blake.



   

                   

ls there a sad ending?



   

                   

ln time...



   

                   

every sad ending

will become happy.



   

                   

The sad ending is only because...



   

                   

the author stops telling the story.



   

                   

But it still goes on...



   

                   

it's just untold.



   

                   

''lf you picked the short road,

you fall in love quickly.



   

                   

The long road,

you take your time falling in love.''



   

                   

So you fall in love faster.



   

                   

Answer number two.



   

                   

''The number of red roses you choose...



   

                   

is how much you would give

in a relationship.



   

                   

The white roses tell you how much

you want out of a relationship.''



   

                   

l chose all red.



   

                   

lt's okay.

l think it's just Penny.



   

                   

Fuck me.



   

                   

Penny said you two were close,

but--



   

                   

Jesus Christ.



   

                   

Real genuine Siamese.



   

                   

Sit down.



   

                   

You're Blake, right?



   

                   

No? Oh, Francis.

You're Francis, you're Blake.



   

                   

Okay.



   

                   

Penny told me about you guys

at breakfast.



   

                   

lsn't one of you sick?



   

                   

But you play the guitar,

though, right?



   

                   

- Yeah.

- Hey, see? l know.



   

                   

Oh, wait.



   

                   

Forgive me.

I forgot myself.



   

                   

l'm Jay Harrison and Associates.



   

                   

l'm what you call...



   

                   

a legal associate in the entertainment

field, but don't let that throw you.



   

                   

There's no such thing as laws to enforce

in the entertainment field.



   

                   

No, please, wait.



   

                   

Give me a second, please.



   

                   

Before you guys come to any conclusions,

can l have your attention for a minute?



   

                   

Let me just take you through

a little scenario, okay?



   

                   

All right? Okay.



   

                   

What things are

are not always what they seem...



   

                   

and what things seem

are not always what they are.



   

                   

Right now, to me,

you both seem okay...



   

                   

with who you are...



   

                   

and that's not okay.



   

                   

What we need to do...



   

                   

is create a drama,

an illusion.



   

                   

lt's like a yin and yang thing.

lt's like a give and take, you know?



   

                   

You give a little show,

you take a little dough.



   

                   

See?



   

                   

Two brothers...



   

                   

conjoined at birth...



   

                   

who can no longer

live with each other anymore.



   

                   

How epic is that?



   

                   

lt's profound.



   

                   

We leak this into the tabloid--



   

                   

Hello? Excuse me...



   

                   

but the world's greatest

show on earth has just begun.



   

                   

Think about it.



   

                   

This is capable of being the most

famous divorce case of all time.



   

                   

That's right.



   

                   

lt's not about who gets the beachfront

property or who gets the Rolls...



   

                   

or who gets the kids.



   

                   

lt's about who gets the kidneys...



   

                   

which one gets the leg,

who gets the lung.



   

                   

Those guys-- Yang and Dang,

Ding and Bing, whatever their names--



   

                   

those guys from the picture postcard--

they had good quality of life.



   

                   

They both had wives,

they both had homes...



   

                   

they both had children,

and they had a lot of dough too.



   

                   

You see? Look...



   

                   

a disease is not a disease

unless it's marketable.



   

                   

What are you doing here?



   

                   

l'm just sitting here

talking with the guys.



   

                   

l told you to meet me

downstairs in the lobby.



   

                   

- Yeah, okay, well--

- Get out of here!



   

                   

You know, one last thing.

Did l mention sitcoms?



   

                   

They do sitcoms all the time

with physically challenged people.



   

                   

All right.

One last thing, though.



   

                   

lf l take you out in public,

you have got to stop whispering.



   

                   

Because it might be part of your act,

but it's just downright rude.



   

                   

- What the fuck are you doing?

- What do you mean?



   

                   

l had to see for myself.

You think those guys can act?



   

                   

Knock it off, Jay. You're not doing shit

and not with them, okay?



   

                   

You know what you got in there?

You got a million bucks in your room.



   

                   

You wanna just let it go away

like that? All right?



   

                   

l'll tell you something:

l barely got you back in your apartment.



   

                   

Don't be stupid.

This is a lot of money.



   

                   

- What were you saying at breakfast?

- What was l saying at breakfast?



   

                   

Don't get that way with me, okay?

You know what you were saying.



   

                   

You were talking about a country home,

getting out of the city, right?



   

                   

- Yeah.

- Bingo.



   

                   

That's right. Behind door number one.

lt's right there.



   

                   

l don't want to be a part

of your sick fucking schemes.



   

                   

Wait a minute.



   

                   

You can't just fuck me off when you've

got a million bucks sitting in there.



   

                   

When you couldn't get a job, who got you

in bed with the photographers?



   

                   

Who took care of you

every step of the way?



   

                   

Hold on a second.

You can't just dump me like that.



   

                   

Don't get all Mother Teresa on me

just because you had a retard--



   

                   

Okay, all right.

You couldn't take care of it.



   

                   

You were right to get rid of him, but

you can't replace him with those freaks.



   

                   

You're a lousy excuse

for a fucking man, all right?



   

                   

- So how was it?

- How was what?



   

                   

Come on, tell me.

Did they double your pleasure?



   

                   

Fuckin' bitch.



   

                   

Shit.



   

                   

Over there.



   

                   

lt's Penny.



   

                   

Oh, open up.



   

                   

Hello, Blake?



   

                   

Are you gonna let me in?



   

                   

Blake, Francis, it's Jay.

lt's not me.



   

                   

l told you she was gonna come here.



   

                   

What do you wanna do?



   

                   

- l bought you some food.

- Let's just wait a few minutes...



   

                   

then she'll go.



   

                   

Are you gonna let me in?



   

                   

She isn't gonna leave.



   

                   

l think we should talk to her.



   

                   

No.

Not after what she did.



   

                   

lt wasn't her fault.



   

                   

l forgot.



   

                   

You're in love.



   

                   

l'm not in love.



   

                   

Well, that's good.



   

                   

Look, Francis.



   

                   

She's nice.

She took care of us when you were ill.



   

                   

- l still don't like her.

- Why?



   

                   

l just don't.



   

                   

You're jeaIous.



   

                   

Of what?



   

                   

A hooker?



   

                   

Are you gonna answer the phone?



   

                   

Jesus! Shut up!



   

                   

What's wrong?



   

                   

Us...



   

                   

lying here,

back in this bed.



   

                   

You want to leave?



   

                   

l wish l could.



   

                   

l wish l could just get up

and walk out of here...



   

                   

on my own.



   

                   

And separate?



   

                   

You'd only be half a man to her.



   

                   

l'd be free.



   

                   

What are you doing, Blake?



   

                   

- l'm leaving.

- What are you doing?



   

                   

l'm leaving. Let go.



   

                   

lt's not about freedom.



   

                   

Let go!



   

                   

lt's about...



   

                   

cutting us...



   

                   

in half.



   

                   

You'd be a cripple.

You'd be maimed.



   

                   

Somebody who pisses in the bag

and carries it around with them.



   

                   

Well, it may be better...



   

                   

than carrying you around.



   

                   

Come on, Francis.

Let go!



   

                   

You took the short road.



   

                   

You always fall in love

too quickly!



   

                   

Did you ever think...



   

                   

that if l took the long road

you wouId have never lasted?



   

                   

Did you ever think...



   

                   

about me?



   

                   

God Almighty, Marvin is askin'

what's goin' on, y'all?



   

                   

My fellow neighbor,

may l help you?



   

                   

Yes.



   

                   

Could you please...



   

                   

close our door?



   

                   

l assume that the person

next to you is...



   

                   

all right?



   

                   

And who are you?



   

                   

Me? Oh, in Spanish

they call me Jesus.



   

                   

But in plain English...



   

                   

l'm just Jesus.



   

                   

Jesus...



   

                   

my brother Francis is ill.



   

                   

My friend, he ain't lookin' like

no one's brother.



   

                   

lt's okay.

We've been through this.



   

                   

- He'll snap out of it.

- Tell you what.



   

                   

l got a car.

l'm gonna take him to a hospital.



   

                   

- Okay?

- No. lt's okay.



   

                   

My friend,

this child here...



   

                   

is in need of medical help.



   

                   

ln a situation like this, l stand back

and say, ''What would Jesus do?''



   

                   

And you know what? l am Jesus,

and l know what l'm going to do.



   

                   

- l'm takin' this boy to a hospital.

- No, we can't do that.



   

                   

Whoa.

Well, l guess you're going too.



   

                   

You two men.



   

                   

You two are awesome.

You know what l mean?



   

                   

l like what you two represent.



   

                   

Two folks livin' in harmony.

That's right.



   

                   

You two symbolize peace and love.



   

                   

Like you're the biological realization

of togetherness.



   

                   

You know what?

l hold a marriage-counseling seminar...



   

                   

and l'd like for you two

to speak at it, okay?



   

                   

Because divorce is not even an option

in your marriage.



   

                   

Hey, l like that.



   

                   

Miss, l need to check

two brothers in.



   

                   

- Your name, please?

- Jesus.



   

                   

You need some l.D.?



   

                   

No. Please just fill out these forms.

lt doesn't matter who you claim to be.



   

                   

My little sister, these are some

special brothers. They're connected.



   

                   

Even if they're family, they'll

still need to fill out these forms.



   

                   

No, baby girl, this is an emergency,

and these guys can't take the hype, see?



   

                   

- Look.

- Not exactly, l--



   

                   

l'm not sure l understand.



   

                   

Check it out.



   

                   

- l see. Here. Take this.

- Thank you very much, miss.



   

                   

Excuse me, Doctor.



   

                   

Are Blake and Francis

gonna be okay?



   

                   

Are you a relative?



   

                   

No, l'm a friend.



   

                   

Well, they're stable.

We need to run a few more tests.



   

                   

Once we have those results

we can decide what we want to do.



   

                   

You don't know how to reach

any of their relatives, do you?



   

                   

I mean,

this is a very serious matter.



   

                   

l'm sure they would enjoy

all the support that they can get.



   

                   

No, l really don't know.



   

                   

Their birth records indicated that their

mother lived somewhere on Main Street...



   

                   

at the time they were born.



   

                   

We've tried that number

but we've had no luck reaching her.



   

                   

- Excuse me.

- Yeah.



   

                   

Francis is really sick.



   

                   

l know.



   

                   

You rest, okay?



   

                   

lntriguing, isn't it?



   

                   

Yeah.



   

                   

You look at something like this,

and you go, ''Wow...



   

                   

they are connected.''



   

                   

What's important now is

what they don't share.



   

                   

Whether we did this on the day

they were born or ten years from now...



   

                   

this day was gonna present itself.



   

                   

lt's a doctor's career day.



   

                   

lf l could figure out why the fusion

occurred in the first place...



   

                   

that would be a career day.



   

                   

There's not one clue

in the medical books why this happens.



   

                   

Why does the egg

stop splitting in them...



   

                   

and not some other pair of twins?



   

                   

We're just left with whatever

Mother Nature decides to give birth to.



   

                   

Maybe it's not

meant to be figured out.



   

                   

They're not a puzzle.



   

                   

You are fully aware

of their condition?



   

                   

Yes, l am.



   

                   

Blake has a    percent chance

of surviving the surgery.



   

                   

Do you like those chances?



   

                   

We understand those chances.



   

                   

Hi.



   

                   

My name is Penny.



   

                   

Can l help you?



   

                   

l'm a friend of your boys,

Blake and Francis.



   

                   

Wait, please.

They need you. They're in the hospital.



   

                   

l kept telling Blake that...



   

                   

l thought something terrible

was wrong.



   

                   

That morning--



   

                   

And they told us...



   

                   

we had Siamese.



   

                   

l didn't even know

what the doctor meant.



   

                   

All l knew about Siamese...



   

                   

were cats.



   

                   

l was in shock.



   

                   

l thought a two-headed kid, right?



   

                   

And l didn't understand.

l just...



   

                   

cried and cried.



   

                   

Did the doctors give you

any options?



   

                   

l signed on the bottom line.



   

                   

l was just...



   

                   

hoping that my confusion...



   

                   

l was hoping

my confusion would vanish.



   

                   

l thought it would.



   

                   

But it's not so easy.



   

                   

lt's not so simple.



   

                   

lt haunts you.



   

                   

You trick yourself...



   

                   

into believing that...



   

                   

a nice family is gonna adopt them.



   

                   

But they couldn't adopt...



   

                   

my feelings of abandoning...



   

                   

my boys.



   

                   

l know they'd love to see you.



   

                   

lt doesn't matter about the past.



   

                   

- No. l can't.

- Please.



   

                   

Thanks so much.



   

                   

Thanks for coming.



   

                   

You're welcome.



   

                   

How are they?



   

                   

You knew.



   

                   

Why?



   

                   

Did anyone in their lifetime...



   

                   

ever ask Blake and Francis...



   

                   

if they mind who they are?



   

                   

Did anyone in their lifetime ever

consider their view on who they are?



   

                   

Yeah, l knew.



   

                   

The minute l heard

Francis' heart...



   

                   

l knew it wouldn't pump much longer.



   

                   

They knew it, Penny.



   

                   

As far as l know,

they checked in that hotel...



   

                   

to die together...



   

                   

and l wasn't about to interrupt that.



   

                   

You believe in symbols?



   

                   

Two single dollars...



   

                   

put together into one bill...



   

                   

worth twice its value.



   

                   

Tear it in half...



   

                   

and you don't get two single bills.



   

                   

The bill loses all its value.



   

                   

The strength is in the bond of two.



   

                   

They need each other

to live as one.



   

                   

l'm sorry, Penny.



   

                   

Sorry if my diagnosis lets you down.



   

                   

You can't go...



   

                   

without me.



   

                   

l don't know who you are...



   

                   

and l don't care...



   

                   

but you brought us

into this world together...



   

                   

and you should take us together.



   

                   

Oh, God, please.



   

                   

Their degree of fusion is this:



   

                   

They share some internal organs--



   

                   

liver, kidney and maybe one lung.



   

                   

It's hard to tell

until we get inside.



   

                   

Their circulatory system is

interconnected...



   

                   

though their nervous system is not.



   

                   

- Since their spinal cords don't meet...

- l hear the train coming.



   

                   

their senses of touch are

totally separate.



   

                   

Yeah, l'll never get used to

taking orders.



   

                   

Oh, wait.

Did you see the April Harper's?



   

                   

- No, l didn't.

- Yeah.



   

                   

Tryin' the new dish?



   

                   

lt's been long enough.



   

                   

Wait, Miles.



   

                   

Do not expect

a happy ending, Penny.



   

                   

Don't.



   

                   

Hello.



   

                   

Oh, hello! l'm June.



   

                   

Hi. l'm Penny.



   

                   

Would you like a piece

of chocolate cake?



   

                   

- l just baked it.

- No, thank you.



   

                   

Did you have a hard time

finding the ranch?



   

                   

- No, not at all.

- l am so glad.



   

                   

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.



   

                   

Come with me, dear.



   

                   

Most of the performers have left.



   

                   

A few still live on the land,

but...



   

                   

it's not like it used to be.



   

                   

That's Pinky.



   

                   

Hi, Pinky!



   

                   

They were the best in the show.



   

                   

l wish you could have seen them.



   

                   

Hello, honey!



   

                   

He's sleeping.



   

                   

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.



   

                   

Wanna play with me?

Yeah?



   

                   

l'll just do the strumming.



   

                   

l'll play the chords.

Okay.



   

                   

Every dollar was    cents.



   

                   

When we were little...



   

                   

we used to search

for train tracks...



   

                   

in every city we'd visit.



   

                   

And when we found 'em,

we'd lie down.



   

                   

A rail would split between us.



   

                   

We'd wait for a train.



   

                   

Francis used to say...



   

                   

''Blake, do you hear the train?''



   

                   

l'd say, ''No.''



   

                   

A few minutes would pass.



   

                   

l'd say to Francis...



   

                   

''Francis...



   

                   

do you hear the train?''



   

                   

He'd say, ''No.''



   

                   

We thought if a train would come

it would split us apart...



   

                   

and we both would grow

new limbs...



   

                   

kind of like a lizard grows

a new tail.



   

                   

But as we grew older...



   

                   

we realized we didn't have a problem

with who we were...



   

                   

just the audience

that came to see us did.



   

                   

We never wanted to be apart

for any other reason...



   

                   

than being gawked at.



   

                   

Thank you.



   

                   

Where are you going?



   

                   

The story of me...



   

                   

is over.



   

                   

ln time,

every sad ending will become happy.



   

                   

The sad ending is only because

the author stops telling the story.



   

                   

But it still goes on...



   

                   

it's just untold.











  

 
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