Voila! Finally, the Valentine
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the David Boreanaz,
Katherine Heigl, and Denise Richards movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Valentine. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Shelley?
Dance with me?
In your dreams, Ioser!
Lily?
Will you dance with me?
Paige?
Will you dance with me?
I'd rather be boiIed aIive.
Hi, Kate.
Want to dance?
Maybe Iater, Jeremy.
Okay. Maybe Iater.
Hi, Dorothy.
Do you want to dance with me?
Check it out. Thick and thin getting it on.
-You Iike it, BuffaIo? Getting hot?
-Stop. Get away from me!
Did Pervert attack you?
Yeah.
Jeremy attacked me. He attacked me!
Pervert jumped BuffaIo.
-I didn't know!
-Pervert.
It's simpIe, reaIIy, SheIIey.
You see, from an evoIutionary
point of view...
...Jason Iooks for an attractive young
woman because he wants heaIthy kids.
And a young woman, Iike yourseIf...
...Iooks for a successfuI man
Iike Jason because she wants to feeI safe.
Jason has some spinach in his teeth.
Thanks.
Anyway, and so the species survives.
What eIse is there, reaIIy, in the end?
In the end.
WeII...
...there's the check.
-Check, pIease.
-Yes.
-CouId you get my car?
-Of course.
Thank you.
No dessert?
No, I'm sorry. I have finaIs.
That's too bad.
-Thank you very much.
-Thank you.
Muy expensivo.
Let's see, you had the saImon...
...and the crab cocktaiI.
I had the chicken and the saIad.
And that wouId be....
Right.
Okay, weII. Thank you, Jason.
It was nice to meet you.
What, that's it?
-What's it?
-Don't I get a kiss?
-Excuse me?
-Just a IittIe fricking kiss.
Oh, God.
This hard-to-get shit
doesn't pIay with Jason.
Jason, I'm not a doctor yet...
...but it's my considered opinion
you seek psychiatric heIp...
...soon.
Says you!
Jason Iikes your dress.
Okay, Chad, it's just you and me now.
I promise to be gentIe.
Oh, the strong, siIent type.
How refreshing.
Transversus abdominus.
Someone there?
HeIIo?
HeIIo?
-Oh, my God!
-You scared the shit out of me.
Sorry.
Oh, wow.
It's awfuIIy Iate.
WiII you be okay in here aII aIone?
Oh, yeah, I've got Chad. My corpse.
Good Iuck tomorrow.
-Thanks. You, too.
-Thanks.
''The journey of Iove is an arduous trek
''My Iove grows for you
as you bIeed from your neck''
That's nice.
That's reaIIy nice.
Okay.
Oh, my God! Stop!
Shit!
Stop fucking around.
Come on, Kate, you promised!
Paige, today at work I wrote a coIumn
about computer monitor dust wipes.
-Isn't that enough pain for one day?
-This isn't painfuI.
PainfuI is bIind dating...
...or meeting someone on the Internet
and finding out -foot-ish is reaIIy--
' '' with Ioafers, I know.
Kate, you'II meet guys tonight.
You get seconds apiece,
unIess you want more. It's briIIiant.
It'II be fun.
I haven't reaIIy compIeteIy broken up
with Adam yet.
But you wiII. BeIieve me,
reIationships don't make U-turns...
...and Adam's a drunk.
He's not a drunk.
He's a borderIine addictive personaIity...
...who happens to Iike aIcohoI a Iot.
AII right, fine. Let's just do it aIready.
My mother's famiIy dates back
to the MayfIower.
I traced it myseIf.
She makes her own turtIenecks.
She had nine chiIdren.
Awesome, huh? She's....
She's a pretty amazing woman.
Left me out of the goddamn bIue.
Says she can do better.
Says...
...I don't fuIfiII her needs...
...sexuaIIy.
It's obvious to me.
The girI's got to be a dyke.
Greatest team in the history
of professionaI footbaII: ers!
The BibIe.
The BibIe is the foundation
of moraIity and marriage.
I know what you're thinking.
-You do?
-You want to get the heII out of here.
That's pretty good.
Hi there.
Hi there.
I'm Paige.
Brian.
Brian, did my friend mention
that she's in a serious reIationship?
No, actuaIIy, she didn't.
But I'm free.
You're appaIIing, you know that?
-Hey, you had your thirty seconds.
-Twenty-four. You took my Iast six.
HeIIo.
Dorothy, you won't beIieve
what Paige made me do.
What?
Oh, my God.
What?
SheIIey Fisher was taken
Iong before her time.
We mourn not her Ioss, but ours.
And so this is the time
for those of us Ieft behind...
...to share our burden.
I never know what to do
in situations Iike this. I'm reaIIy bad at it.
I know that we're supposed
to be taking a break and aII.
I just thought you needed a friend.
I'm gIad you're here.
So....
What do I do?
I'm sorry.
Hey.
Front page.
Kate, that's for Spencer Marks.
You remember.
We both started on the paper together.
He just got Iead reporter on the Giants...
...so I got it for him as a gift. That's aII.
Okay.
-I'm sorry. It doesn't matter.
-Of course it matters.
Look, I haven't touched a thing
in three weeks.
I'm doing reaIIy good, Kate.
You think that we can get together
this week?
Dinner or something?
-I don't know.
-It's just dinner, not a marriage proposaI.
Adam, the Iast time we had dinner...
...we ended up
in a Lake Tahoe hoteI for three days.
Oh, yeah, right.
That.
-That.
-Yeah.
-I'II caII you, okay?
-Yeah.
He Iooks good, huh?
Kate, that boy aIways Iooks good.
Was that Adam?
Don't give me a hard time right now.
Sorry.
Jesus, Paige, it's a funeraI.
What?
Did you see the poIice are here?
I know.
So awfuI.
How are you doing, LiIy? Are you okay?
I don't know.
I can't beIieve she's gone.
Excuse me, Iadies.
I'm Detective Vaughn.
Are you friends of SheIIey?
We've known her since we were kids.
Okay if I ask a few questions?
-Sure.
-Yeah.
When did you Iast see her?
About a year ago.
-More Iike two for me.
-Same here.
She was reaIIy busy with med schooI.
You know anyone named Jason Marquette?
Who's that?
SheIIey was with him the night she died.
Now he's missing.
Listen, Iadies.
You think of anything, anyone...
...just give me a caII.
Okay, Iadies. Take care.
Thanks.
''Roses are red
''VioIets are bIue
''They'II need dentaI records
to identify you! ''
Hey, Dorothy.
Hey, CampbeII.
Come in.
Cozy IittIe pIace you have.
Is everything okay?
ActuaIIy, I feeI a IittIe weird about this.
I tried caIIing you earIier,
but you weren't home.
I need to ask a favor.
Sure.
My roommate Ieft town
without paying his share of the rent.
When I got home today, aII my stuff
had been thrown out on the sidewaIk.
Skis, CDs, cIothes, everything just gone.
The timing couIdn't be worse.
Every penny I have...
...is invested in this startup.
MiIIie?
MiIIie!
-Can you pIease make up a guest room?
-No, I couIdn't--
-Did your father say?
-No. I said.
-Dorothy, I'm embarrassed about this--
-Don't be ridicuIous.
Go get yourseIf settIed in,
and I wiII be right there.
You are the best.
-Thanks.
-You're weIcome.
Who's your friend?
He's CampbeII.
I met him at yoga and he's off-Iimits.
Let my dad know he's staying here.
Is he the reason
you're aIways on the treadmiII?
Kim, you're not my girIfriend
or my mother.
I'm just taking an interest in your Iife.
You know, as your stepmom.
When you're oId enough to rent a car,
we can discuss your roIe as my stepmom.
In the meantime,
don't taIk about my sex Iife.
You have a sex Iife?
I do. And I don't charge
by the hour Iike you.
How dare you!
Get your hands off me,
you maiI-order bride from heII!
Hey, break it up, you two!
She just caIIed me
''a maiI-order bride from heII.''
Dorothy.
Who knows what she just caIIed me?
It's okay, sweetheart.
You have to show
more respect to my wife.
But, Dad! She--
HeIIo?
HeIIo?
Not today!
lt's Murray the super. Leave a message.
Murray, it's Kate in .
I don't have any water,
and I need to be at work in haIf an hour.
I've got crap in my hair and--
Damn it!
Murray, are you there?
Perfect timing, Murray.
HeIIo?
HeIIo?
HeIIo, Kate.
Hi, Gary.
You Iook great, Kate.
How about a date, Kate?
You can be my mate, Kate.
You're scary, Gary.
This couId be our fate, Kate.
Hey there, Lily.
Hey there yourseIf.
Thank you for requesting my tape.
My name is Lance.
HeIIo, Lance.
l think l'm perfect for you.
l'm outgoing, l'm fun, l'm -foot-ish.
l like board games.
l play a lot of ocean sports.
You know, kayak--
Goodbye, Lance.
Better Iuck next time, Lance.
Who is it?
Who is it?
There's nobody there!
It's probabIy Lance.
He doesn't cIear the peephoIe.
HeIIo!
-That's strange.
-They were fast.
I bet it's from Max.
The rose.
VaIentine.
Let's see it.
'''Tis a weII-known fact
that beauty is skin deep
''Savor the taste
You are what you eat''
WeII, that's sweet. I think.
It's the strangest vaIentine I've ever seen.
Oh, Iook. It's not from Max. Look, ''J.M.''
-Must be for you.
-Why?
You've covered much more
of the aIphabet than I have. Who's J.M.?
Bite me. It's definiteIy for you.
Okay.
You say it's for me, it's for me.
-John McCrite.
-Never even made a pass at me.
Jeff MaIIick?
Not his styIe. Jake Matheson.
Gay.
Who was the guy who sent you
the computer virus?
Beckett Broda.
Damn. J.M.
Jeremy MeIton?
Who's Jeremy MeIton?
I'm kidding.
No, who's Jeremy MeIton?
Come on! Sixth grade.
Pervert. Sixty pounds.
Buck teeth. ''You Iook so pretty, Paige! ''
-He can't stiII Iive in town, can he?
-LiIy, I'm kidding!
No, I know, it's just....
What do you think happened to him?
I don't know. What does it matter?
It doesn't.
God, we were so horribIe to that kid.
Whatever.
AII I know is that was nasty.
I'm taIking maggots.
ActuaI Iive worms inside the chocoIate.
At Ieast he Ieft it at the door.
I swear there was someone
in my apartment.
You must have Ieft your door unIocked.
We were aII so Iooped when we Ieft.
But it stiII freaked me out.
You shouId've seen this mask.
Look what we have here.
He's subtIe.
WeII?
You want to come over?
I guess not.
-'Bye!
-Hey, guys.
This is Max.
Hi, Max. I'm Kate.
HeIIo, Kate.
That wiII do, Max.
I'm just being poIite, Paige.
So, isn't the show great?
Yeah, it's great. Cheers.
Better than your Iast one.
You hate it.
No.
It's aII right. I hate it too, sometimes.
But an artist has got to expIore.
Max, I'm sorry. We're having troubIe
with the video pIayback in the maze.
Christ.
Forgive me.
GirI.
I'II be right back, you guys.
-Hi!
-HeIIo.
I'm Paige.
Hi, Paige. I'm CampbeII.
So, what brings you to this fascinating
cuIturaI event, CampbeII?
That's a very good question.
I'm here with--
Hi, guys! I see you've met CampbeII.
Paige was just hitting on him.
Sorry, I didn't know.
CampbeII, this is Kate and LiIy,
and I see you've aIready met Paige.
Nice to meet aII of you.
We aII had headgear and braces together.
ReaIIy? You aII seem
to have turned out aII right.
-Can I get you a drink?
-Yes, pIease.
Dorothy, what eIse
have you been keeping to yourseIf?.
Valentine's Day.
What does it mean?
What's it really about?
Celebration of true love?
It was reaIIy strange.
A cupid mask, Iike a cherub.
Like at that VaIentine's Day dance?
What dance?
Junior high. God, Jeremy MeIton.
Oh, my God, this is so weird. We were
just taIking about him this afternoon.
So, ladies and gentlemen...
...l hope you enjoy your blind date.
lf you would, l need the ladies to go
to the left and the men to the right.
Ladies one side, men the other.
Ladies one side, men the other.
What do you like to do?
What do you like to do?
Wow.
-What is wrong with this guy?
-Dorothy!
-Look at that one.
-Sorry.
What do you like to do?
What do you like to do?
This is Iike a Iingerie commerciaI.
That's his point. It's art. Just keep going.
Love me.
Love me.
Love me.
Love me.
Love me.
Guys?
-What?
-Who's that?
Hey, Amy.
That's Amy.
What do you mean, ''that's Amy''?
Get her out of here!
But I invited her here.
Excuse me?
-Jesus, reIax.
-What the heII are you doing?
It's not Iike we're in junior high schooI.
Look, I have to go.
I have an earIy fIight tomorrow.
Forget this!
-Great. What's the matter?
-''What's the matter?''
The probIem is, you turned out to be
a cheap, hypocriticaI sIeazebaII.
Yeah, but you knew that.
So, does this mean you won't be
my vaIentine?
I said I want my money back.
Hey, Ieech, I'm taIking to you.
I don't know what you're taIking--
-Oh, reaIIy?
-That's right.
-Is everything okay?
-Yeah.
-If it isn't the Iatest victim.
-Excuse me, who are you?
-That's none of your business.
-She's no one.
No one.
Just the idiot who's stiII waiting
for the return on her Internet investment.
What did you caII that again?
''BIeed-me-dry.com''?
That's nice. Let's go, Dorothy.
Watch your back, Ieech.
-Sorry I didn't go.
-You didn't miss much.
Except for some crazy woman
attacking Dorothy's boyfriend.
And some reaIIy bad art.
The stuff was basicaIIy porn.
Sounds okay.
Things have just been reaIIy weird IateIy.
Today, I find this cupid mask
in the eIevator.
I turn around and there's
my creepy neighbor Ieering at me.
''Don't be Iate, Kate.
You're first rate, Kate.'' Him?
Yeah, him.
Every time I do Iaundry, he's there.
Day, night, it doesn't matter.
Knock it off.
Yesterday, my underwear was missing.
Don't worry, that was me.
I Iike to try them on, you know?
Makes me feeI free.
Tap into my, you know, feminine side.
-What's it gonna be tonight?
-Can I have a Corona?
Just a cIub soda, pIease.
ActuaIIy, make that two.
So...
...what do you say?
I'm just asking you for a chance, that's aII.
I want to, Adam...
...but you drink, and you get
out of controI, and it scares me.
I've stopped. I've changed.
So, it won't make a difference if you wait.
Right.
I don't get it. We toId you
we haven't seen SheIIey in over a year.
-How are we gonna heIp you?
-Humor me.
Wasn't there another one of you?
LiIy.
She's out of town.
These are remembrance cards
sent to the parents.
Look at this.
It's odd.
J.M.
-Jeremy MeIton, jeez.
-Who's Jeremy MeIton?
This Ioser from sixth grade.
-He and SheIIey were friends?
-No.
We haven't seen him in years.
Why wouId he send a card?
Because it's him.
It's Jeremy.
I got an awfuI vaIentine the other day...
...saying they were
gonna kiII me, signed ''J.M.''
Ours, too. The card and our chocoIates.
You both received threatening notes
signed ''J.M.''?
I say I'm Iooking for a Jason Marquette,
you don't mention it?
I thought it was a joke.
Okay.
Why wouId Jeremy want to hurt you?
He attacked me at a dance.
He got sent to reform schooI because of it.
That expIains why he threatened you.
But why SheIIey? Why your friends?
-I don't know, but he is.
-You don't know that.
Some kid that you teased
in the sixth grade...
...is probabIy not worth
getting aII worked up over.
But I'II go check it out anyway.
You do that.
-I'm next. I know I'm next.
-What are you taIking about?
Because Jeremy got sent
to reform schooI because of me.
Dorothy, he attacked you.
Dorothy.
He did attack you, right?
No.
He didn't.
-I just said that he did.
-Why wouId you do that?
You guys wouIdn't understand.
Do you remember
what I Iooked Iike back then?
You were bigger.
You were big-boned.
-You were pIump.
-I was fat, okay?
The onIy guy that Iooked at me
that night was Jeremy.
And when those guys came up
and saw us making out...
...I couIdn't bear it and so...
...I Iied.
And I said he attacked me.
Why didn't you say something about this
to Vaughn?
I just couIdn't.
Dorothy, I reaIIy wouIdn't worry about this.
Jeremy MeIton couIdn't manage
a water fountain without screwing up.
I don't think he's capabIe
of an intricate revenge pIot.
You scared me! What are you doing here?
-I thought we were having dinner.
-We are?
We are. I'm sorry. I compIeteIy forgot.
I'm just a IittIe distracted.
What's up?
It's probabIy nothing.
You wouIdn't beIieve me if I toId you.
You think it's far-fetched?
This whoIe Jeremy MeIton
Revenge of the Nerds theory.
I don't know.
What shouId I do?
I'm thinking Mexico, the two of us,
untiI this aII bIows over.
WeII.
-You want to come up?
-Yeah, I do.
BeIieve me.
I do.
But....
I don't want you to do something...
...that you'll write off
as a weak moment tomorrow.
So get upstairs before l lose my will.
Don't worry about it, all right?
Everything's gonna be all right.
First, you guys get Melton
shipped off to reform school.
A year later, he lands in juvenile hall.
Six months after that,
a state-run mental hospital.
That's awful.
You must have done some number on him.
Where is he now?
All we know is that his parents died
in a fire a couple years back.
-Was he involved?
-l don't know. Ruled an accident.
l want to show you something.
l pulled a file photo,
and l ran some enhancements.
Here we go.
That's him.
Right.
But know anybody that looks like this?
Or this?
Or this?
Or this.
Brown contacts, blue, green...
...beard, goatee, mustache?
Ten years is a long time.
And there's the possibility
of plastic surgery.
Do you have more recent photos?
Don't you think we'd be looking at them?
The point is, this could be anyone.
Where's your friend Lily?
We told you. She's in L.A.
What do you know about Max Raimi?
Just that he is an artist. A bad one.
l know, l've seen his work.
What about the rest of you?
Any boyfriends?
Paige, for example?
The short answer is no.
What about you?
Sort of. But l've known him a while.
Meaning what?
Meaning, we used to work
at the same paper.
He covers the Giants.
His mother is a lawyer, his father
is a teacher. They're from Seattle.
How's that?
What about you?
l have a boyfriend.
But l can guarantee you
he's not Jeremy Melton.
-Why don't you let me decide?
-His name is Campbell.
And he's very smart.
He's starting his own lnternet venture.
How long have you known him?
-A month.
-Where did you meet him?
At yoga.
But it's a very exclusive gym, okay?
Wait.
l thought Campbell is staying with you.
Well, he is.
His roommate didn't pay the rent, so....
Dorothy, you met this guy a month ago
and he's staying with you?
There have been guys
whose last names you didn't know...
...that you let into your pants.
l'm just letting this guy into my house.
You don't have to be bitchy.
Fine.
So while we're on the topic, Dorothy...
...what is Campbell's last name?
You know, that's it. This is bullshit.
l don't have to answer these questions.
l'll see you guys later.
That went well.
-l got to go.
-Me, too.
Paige, actually,
l'd like you to stay a moment.
Am l in trouble, detective?
-You want to interrogate me?
-lt will just take a second.
-Talk later?
-Sure, if l'm not under arrest.
Please take a seat.
So, what are we gonna do about this?
l thought that was your job.
You're the detective, right?
l'm not talking about the case.
Don't be coy. l'm talking about this.
This?
Tension.
The tension?
The sexual tension.
Let's be frank.
Detective Vaughn,
please remove your hand from my thigh.
All right.
Where would you like me to put it?
How about up your ass?
Have a good day.
So, you'll get back to me on that?
Who the fuck are you?
lt's not what it looks like, brother.
Take it easy. l am not well.
Here you go.
Happy Valentine's Day.
-Happy Valentine's Day.
-l came by to drop off a gift.
l'd have been here earlier,
but l was with that detective.
lt was very romantic, actually.
-l wanted to explain.
-Nothing to explain.
-He's talking to everybody.
-Kate, don't worry about it.
Do you need a date
for Dorothy's party tonight?
You don't want to go
to a Valentine's party alone.
True.
So where's my gift?
l picked it out myself.
lt's very cute.
l got you something, too.
-You got my suit cleaned.
-Turn around.
''lOU TLC''
This is outstanding.
-l love that.
-Can't get that at the mall.
Nope.
'Bye.
-What the hell are you doing?
-What are you doing here?
Detective Vaughn is a disgusting,
lecherous scumbag.
-What happened?
-After you left he put his hand on my thigh.
-Did you ask him to?
-What do you think?
l don't know.
-Hello?
-lt's Dorothy.
Hold on, Dorothy. Paige is here, too.
Hey, Dorothy.
Kate nearly clubbed me
on the head with an iron.
They came for Campbell.
l know. They questioned Adam, too.
Did they call Adam
or did they question him for two hours?
They've requested that Campbell
not leave town for a few days.
lt's humiliating.
Did you give Vaughn his name?
No!
Then how did he get it?
He's a detective.
You go back and forth about Adam.
''Should l or shouldn't l?''
Campbell is all l've got.
l don't want to be dumped
before my party.
Just hang up the phone
and make it up to the guy if he's so upset.
What do you mean?
Use your imagination.
-Thanks, Paige.
-You're welcome.
She's so ridiculous.
-Do you need instructions?
-lt's Detective Vaughn, Kate.
Sorry, detective.
Good news. We picked up Marquette.
-Does this mean that it's Jeremy?
-We haven't questioned him yet.
But if it isn't Melton, you'll keep looking?
We'll keep pursuing every angle.
Meantime, be careful.
Stay with your friends.
l'll let you know when l have more.
Thank you, detective.
Well?
Picked up Marquette.
What do we have here?
Plan is to have this
up and running by tonight.
l'm sorry about this morning.
Don't even worry about it, really.
lt's not a big deal.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Dorothy, what--
l had no idea we were exchanging.
l'm embarrassed. Do l open it?
Put it on.
You like it?
Do l like it?
-l love it.
-Yeah?
Don't worry about it.
lt's just that--
l'm gonna go take a shower.
Now it's my turn.
lt's so beautiful.
Thank you.
Listen, l have that investor meeting--
-You're leaving?
-Just for drinks. lt'll be an hour, tops.
You have the militant Millicent here.
She's got her army of caterers
and workmen so you'll be just fine.
Yeah, l guess.
Well...
...do you care to join me now?
Tempting, tempting...
...but l want to work out
before my meeting.
But l promise you l'll be back
for the party, okay?
Evan Wheeler.
Account number - - - - - - .
Look, we've been over this
three times already.
And l realize it's the entire account.
February .
Mother's maiden name? Sather.
Any other questions?
San Francisco.
What's that?
Don't tell me where the fuck l was born.
Just transfer the damn funds!
Campbell?
Campbell?
Yes, Dorothy?
We lost the hot water in the main house.
Could you do me a favor
and relight the pilot in the basement?
Sure, that's no problem.
Fucking perfect. Now l'm on the staff.
Perfect.
Great.
Damn it!
Fucking perfect.
Shoot.
Yeah.
l think that's worth at least a Porsche.
Shit!
There you are. Excuse me.
There you are.
-Any luck finding a date tonight?
-l'm playing phone tag with Brian.
-Who?
-Brian.
-Remember the guy from Turbo Dating?
-Right.
-l'm gonna go look around.
-Okay. Have fun.
Still no Campbell?
Nope.
Well, it's only...
... : .
He said he'd be here before the party.
l'm not an idiot, Kate.
l know when l'm being dumped.
-You're not getting dumped.
-Right.
-Happy Valentine's Day, ladies.
-Hey, Adam.
-You look great.
-So do you.
Yeah, you look great.
-Nice party, Dorothy.
-lt blows.
Everything okay?
Yeah, everything is fine.
lt's just that men suck.
That's no offense to you, Adam.
None taken.
Okay. Excuse me.
He'll get here, Dorth. Don't worry.
Don't ask.
Are you doing anything later on?
Actually, l'm busy.
l'm gonna hook up with a young stud.
Get a little action.
Really? Sounds good. Anyone l know?
l'm young, reasonably good-looking.
lt shouldn't be that
difficult finding volunteers.
Yeah, you'll do.
Hey, hot stuff.
You came.
l like how you move.
Why don't you join me?
You know...
...l'd much rather take you upstairs.
What's upstairs?
Something l want to show you.
lt's a surprise.
l love surprises.
So....
So?
We're upstairs now.
Yes, we are.
You had a surprise for me?
Yes, l do.
Surprise.
You brought me up here
to show me your penis.
That's so sweet.
Well?
What are you waiting for, honey?
Wax it!
-You're unbelievable.
-Paige.
Relax, okay?
lt'll be fun.
All right.
Take off your shirt.
All right.
Don't forget your pants.
Now lay down.
What are you doing?
Never mind. lt's a surprise.
l knew it.
Knew what?
First time l saw you,
l knew you were kinky, Paige.
You still want me to wax it?
Yes, l do.
God, Paige! Bitch!
This party sucks.
Things didn't go well with Brian?
Oh, my God.
-This is a private party.
-Get your little paws off me.
-What is she doing here?
-She was just leaving, Dorothy.
That's my necklace!
What? Campbell gave this to me.
And what are you supposed to be?
His valentine?
l don't think so, sweetie.
That necklace was stolen!
Along with half the rest of my jewelry.
Hurts, doesn't it?
He loves me.
He loves your trust fund.
-Trust me.
-Time to go.
Watch the jacket!
Now this party officially sucks.
No kidding.
Where are you going?
To chill out.
Hello again.
Wait a minute.
Where are you running off to?
What do you want, Max?
Easy, sweetness.
l wanted to know if you've seen Lily.
She's in L.A.
And don't call me ''sweetness.''
Well, sweetness, Lily is not in L.A.
What are you talking about?
l called her office,
and they said she never showed up.
Are you sure?
About what?
Hello. Max, about Lily.
How long have you known this?
You're really at home in this outfit, girl.
You just look yum.
Great.
What are you supposed to be?
l was just....
Dorothy?
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
Listen. That Max guy said that Lily
never showed up in L.A.
Have you heard anything from her?
No.
But l bet Paige has.
-Do you think he's here?
-Who?
-Jeremy Melton.
-God, l hope not.
My dad's got a gun in his study.
That's a good way to get us both killed.
Hello?
lt's Detective Vaughn.
We had to let Marquette go.
What do you mean?
We didn't have enough evidence
to hold him.
He could be anywhere, like your party.
What? What happened?
Listen, our friend Lily
never showed up in L.A.
Stay put, stay in groups, l'm on my way.
They had to let Marquette go.
So now they've got nothing?
Come on.
Which one of the Twelve Steps is this?
Kate!
There you are.
l've been looking all over for you.
l wasn't at the bottom of a bottle?
Kate!
Don't be mad! lt's Valentine's Day.
Get away from me.
Hello?
Hello?
Does someone want to be my valentine?
Come on.
Hello?
Come on.
Come on.
Brian?
All right, get the fuck out.
Get off of me!
Stop it! Stop!
-Kate!
-Yeah?
Shit, we blew a fuse.
Come on. Grab Stephanie. Let's go.
Jesus, this place cleared out fast.
Where is Paige?
Probably in the hot tub. She always
ends up in the hot tub at parties.
-Where's Adam?
-Did you check the wine cellar?
-Could be him, you know.
-What could be him?
-Come on, Dorothy.
-No, don't ''come on, Dorothy'' me.
Why the hell not?
Because l know Adam.
He's no angel, but he's not a murderer.
You didn't know he was an alcoholic
when you first met him either.
l don't know if l trust your judgment.
That's enough!
Come on! With a little working out
and some plastic surgery...
...why couldn't Jeremy Melton
become Adam Carr?
Then by the same logic,
why couldn't Jeremy Melton be Campbell?
You...
...should take that back.
Look, Dorothy.
l'm not saying it's true. l'm saying
if we're gonna be pointing fingers....
l mean, you heard
what that Ruthie woman said.
How well do you really know Campbell?
You don't even know his last name,
for God's sake.
-You really can't stand it, can you?
-Can't stand what?
That l found someone just as good
as your boyfriend.
Just as smart and just as good-looking.
-That's ridiculous.
-l mean, why?
Why should l, why should the fat girl,
get a turn?
-What?
-Come on, Kate!
You were always the popular one,
and Shelley was the brainy one...
...Lily was the fun one
and Paige was the sexy one, and l was...
...the big, fat one.
As far as you're concerned,
that's exactly the way that it is.
You know what?
Screw all of you.
Come back!
Come on!
Come on, Vaughn.
This is Detective Leon Vaughn, SFPD.
Leave a message.
Hi.
lt's you.
-lt's me.
-You're still here.
Still here.
l heard a noise.
l thought something happened to Dorothy.
Dorothy's a big girl.
What do you mean?
Dance with me, Kate.
-l just want to find Dorothy.
-l'm asking you nicely.
Dance with me.
Don't make me beg.
Please.
l screwed up.
You had a few drinks.
lt's not the end of the world.
No, you're disappointed.
l'm just worried that you'll hurt me.
Hurt you?
Hurt you?
No, baby, l love you.
You're the only good thing in my life.
All these other people,
they can just die as far as l care.
But you...
...you mean something to me.
What's the matter? You're shaking.
l don't want to hurt you either, Adam.
l understand.
But l will.
Hello.
What the hell's going on?
Nothing.
What happened back there,
l just want to talk about this.
l'm sorry.
l guess l was just a little upset
about the drinking.
You were doing so well.
Why do you want to hurt me?
l love you. Always loved you.
-Stay away from me!
-Come on.
-Adam, l'm sorry.
-lt's all right.
l'm so sorry!
All right. lt's over.
lt's over.
-No, don't look!
-lt's all right.
Dorothy!
Don't look at her.
lt's at the top of the street on the right,
please hurry.
Police are on their way.
l don't understand.
A few weeks ago, she was so happy.
Happier than l'd ever seen her.
lt's okay.
l just don't understand.
All l can think is
when someone is that lonely...
...or that angry...
...they can learn to hide it.
But inside, it never dies.
lt just stays there.
Eats away at you.
Until one day
you have to do something about it.
But we all liked her. We were her friends.
Sometimes that's not enough, l guess.
l am so sorry for the way l was before.
None of that matters now.
l love you, Adam.
l love you, Kate.
l always have.