Voila! Finally, the W. script is here for all you fans of the George W. Bush movie from Oliver Stone. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. At least you'll have some W. quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?
And swing on back to Drew's
Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.
W. Script
Oh, say, can you see
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we...
Drilled down
the left field line,
it's a base hit into left field...
And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
the 43rd President
of the United States,
George W. Bush.
"Axis of Hatred"?
- I know.
Something about it
just misses.
Any other brilliant ideas?
How about "Axis of Weasels"?
Don't get cute, Karl.
This is serious now.
I think it needs to be stronger.
Just cut through the noise.
Like Reagan with
the Evil Empire speech.
Was it too much then to--?
What about "Axis of Evil"?
Axis of Evil?
Evil? Yeah, I like the ring
of that. That's good.
Mr. President,
"axis" brings up World War II.
You can't link Germany and Japan
with Iraq and North Korea.
No, I-- I disagree, Colin.
Weapons of mass destruction
make these countries dangerous.
We gotta begin educating
the public
about the size of this war
and its implications.
You have an approval rating of
more than 80 percent now, sir.
It's just astounding.
Not since Roosevelt
after Pearl Harbor.
The American people
want revenge.
They liked Afghanistan
and they want more.
Uh, Mr. President, if I may?
Given your strong commitment
to democracy,
do you think that Iran
should be lumped together
with Iraq and North Korea?
After all, Iran has
a democratically-elected
president.
As always, Guru, sharp.
Thank you.
Iran is not Iraq
and Iraq is not Iran.
I know that.
We can get one democracy
going in one of these places,
Iran, Iraq, believe me,
Reagan was right.
It's gonna spread
to all these countries,
because people want freedom.
With this message, we're sending
strong word to reformers in Iran
to turn on these deadbeat,
dead-enders,
these ayatollah cockamamies.
Iran stays in.
When you make threats, sir,
you have to back them up.
Now, you'd be committing us
to planning out three
fully operational wars
with three countries.
No, I'm not saying war.
I'm saying lay down the law.
But the speech, as written,
is taking a preempted posture
against countries,
none of whom declared war on us.
For 60 years now, this--
Ahem, this country
has operated
under a principle
of containment.
No, that-- That--
That's a defense, general,
not an offense.
How are you gonna contain
100,000 lunatics
running around the world
with fake passports
from country to country
looking for nukes, anthrax?
Containment don't hold water
as far as I'm concerned.
We're gonna get hit again.
We all know that.
Unless we go out there
and hit them hard
and we hit them first.
Well, containment
won us the Cold War, sir.
Well, some people
might just say
that Reagan won the Cold War,
general.
And it started with
the "Empire of Evil" speech.
What do you think, Rummy?
Oh, Mr. President,
you know I don't do nuance.
It's just not my thing.
I'll keep to the big picture
if you don't mind.
I do. Brother George?
Think?
- Mm-hm.
Well, actually there's about
80,000 of them, sir. Terrorists.
In about 80 countries.
My point exactly.
And I'm sure you realize,
of course,
what complicates things
is it wasn't Iran or Iraq
who attacked us.
It was Osama bin Laden.
Of course I know
it was bin Laden, George.
You know as well as I do there's
more terrorists out there
than a religious nut
in a cave in Pakistan.
Wolfie, you got that look
on your face.
Well, sir, uh, to get back
to the point,
Iran is the issue here.
It is the mothership
of terrorism.
Vice?
Sir, as you know,
I don't view this issue
as a matter of choice.
Since 9/11,
there's no going back.
Well, then,
we'll go with
"Axis of Evil."
Yes, Mr. President.
Now I'm tired of this sentence.
All right, before we go,
let's all, uh, take a moment.
You too, turdblossom.
Do infants enjoy infancy
as much as adults
enjoy adultery?
To the dear old temple bar
We love so well
Let's go, let's go. Go.
Why do kamikaze pilots
wear seat belts?
Because they're Japs.
They're crazy.
That's wrong.
And you will all suffer.
Buxenhall, you worthless
piece of horseshit.
Sing "The Whiffenpoof Song."
We're poor little lambs
Who have lost our way
Take a drink.
We're little black sheep
Who have gone astray
I can't hear you.
- Louder.
Yeah!
Lovely.
So.
Enjoying ourselves, I see.
Yeah.
Hm.
Good evening, young fellow
Delta Kappsters in waiting.
This is pledge week.
If you make the grade,
you become a brother.
That's right.
Delta Kappa brothers
are men of honor,
decency,
and God-given character.
Yeah.
That, along with
our family fortunes,
is why we rule the world.
Right, Jimmy?
Hear, hear.
Right.
But until you
are Delta Kappsters,
you are all still
pieces of garbage!
Yeah!
You, Buxenhall, quick.
How many of these brothers
do you know?
Name every brother
in this room. Now!
Uh-- Uh--
Dieter, Hotchkiss,
Austin, Hill, Coors.
Sanders--
- No good.
S-s-seven. Seven out of 40.
That's it?
Maybe you'll remember
better with a drink, huh?
Yeah.
And what about you?
You think you can do any better,
Mr. Pussy?
Yes, sir.
Are you ready for your bath?
I-- I think I can do better.
Let's hear it.
"The Great and Cape God"
Cartner,
uh, Scotty "Scotch and Soda"
Sonenberke,
Paul "Putting on the Rich"
Richardson,
Jackie "Jambalaya" Jackson,
Paul "Poodle" Johnson,
uh, Marky "Pit Bull" Cavares...
...Ollie "Octopus" Givens,
John "Cranky" Olinger,
Sammy "Sloppy Seconds" Woods,
Jeremiah "Brusher" Adams,
Howie "Kringle" Gibson...
...Adam "Lazy" Greenwood--
We have got a working
brain here!
Yeah!
He may be from Texas,
but he's gonna be one
great Delta Kappster.
Sir, I'm working for that.
You a legacy?
Oh, yeah.
Father, grandfather,
all the way back
to great, great grandfather.
Yeah, for any ignoramuses
who don't know,
his grandfather, Prescott,
is our esteemed Senator
from Connecticut.
My father's running
for Congress in Texas.
Yeah.
- Planning on following
in their footsteps there,
Bushie?
Hell, no.
No way in the world
I'd wanna do that.
Congressman George Bush.
May I please speak with my son?
Daddy's on the phone,
Bush.
Hey, tell your mom I said, hi.
Wait here.
I'll be right back.
Don't be a wuss out here, Bush.
I'll be right back.
Don't forget about us.
Hello, Pop. Is that you?
What's this about?
What kind of trouble
you in now?
Oh, it's penny ante.
I swear, Poppy.
Hey, we beat Princeton.
Won the darn championship.
We were tearing down
the goal posts.
I was hanging
on the crossbar.
Then they arrested me
on account of me
being head cheerleader
and all I'm sure.
Hill and Dowling
had great games.
I mean, we kicked their butts.
Uh, the only thing better
than beating Princeton:
beating Harvard.
Well, you beat both of them
when you won
the Ivy League Championship.
Went on to the first
College World Series.
The first two championships...
...'47 and '48.
Right after you were born.
Hey, you know there are still
photos of you
and that team up on the walls
of Delta Kappa?
Tell you, things in this life
you wish you could go back,
do over.
I could field, but I--
I couldn't hit.
Went 0 for 3 against
Cal in the finals.
How history goes.
Still, you were on the greatest
Yale baseball team of all time.
My father would have kicked
the living crap out of me
if I ended up where
you are now, Junior.
They're gonna let me go, Poppy.
I just have to get out of Jersey
and promise never to come back,
which is okey-dokey with me.
Um, don't work that way,
Junior.
Not to me
and not to this family.
Now, I'm getting you
out of this... this time.
I don't wanna get any more phone
calls like this again.
Ever.
You hear me?
Yes, sir.
Okay. Coming up!
Where's your grease gun?
It's up there.
Quit messing with me.
There's a yellow
Rose in Texas
That I am gonna see
Manuel!
Get your butt back in here.
I thought you just wanted me
to go up there just now.
She cried so when
I left her
Shit.
It like to broke my heart
And if I ever find her
We never more will part
What happened?
I think the bearing stopped.
Hey, watch this for me, will you?
- Okay.
You watch it.
- Okay.
Hey, Miguel.
Damn.
- Up here too hot?
Yeah.
Damn!
I need some help out here.
Bush, what you doing
off the floor?
Shift's not over till 1800.
I'm having a drink, sir.
Get back out there.
The motor's overheating.
I need every swinging
dick I got.
Yeah, I know that,
but, sir, you see,
I'm about parched.
You know, I just need
a couple of minutes here.
Y'all already had your break.
This ain't some fancy-ass
Ivy League school.
Now, haul that butt of yours
back out to your motor
before something else
happens.
All right, you know, sir.
I think this butt of mine
just quit.
That the way you want it?
- Mm-hm.
Uh-huh. That's fine with me.
Get your ass off my rig.
I'll just get the next
coach out?
Uh-huh.
Thank you.
- Uh-huh.
There ain't no other difference,
I'll tell you that right now.
Look, how many times
do I gotta tell you?
You are my gal.
I mean, I'm as happy as a rabbit
in a carrot patch with you.
But you never say the words.
What words?
The L word.
The L word?
What, "lesbian"?
You're no lesbian.
What kind of future are we gonna
have if you're always joking?
Oh, come on, Fran,
I'm crazy about you.
Okay? We're gonna go
back to Houston.
We're gonna have
a big church wedding.
All the trimmings.
All of it.
What kind of church?
I grew up Episcopalian.
No, I grew up Presbyterian,
then I turned into Epris--
Piss-- Piscopalian.
Well, I'm a Baptist.
Episcopalian, Baptist,
what the hell does it matter?
You're gonna be one of us,
a Bush.
Now, how does that sound,
sweetheart?
You mean it? You swear it?
- Mm-hm.
Look, then we're gonna
move to New York.
You ever been there? Oh.
Bright lights, big city.
It's even bigger than Dallas.
I'm gonna work on Wall Street.
I got an uncle
who's gonna set me up.
Told me, "Just say the word."
You gotta picture
a boatload of money.
We're gonna be on a big boat
with lots of money.
New York?
- Yup.
I never dreamt of that.
Well, start dreaming now.
George.
- Yeah?
Are you proposing to me?
Hm.
Uh...
If I had a rock big enough,
I'd give it to you right now.
Freddie Mac,
here we go,
two more shots.
Oh, I love this song.
Come on, honey.
Come on.
- What are you doing?
Get on up here, girl.
Come on, baby.
- Whoo!
When I see her tonight
I'm gonna squeeze her
To death
Pretty little pet
Claudette
Never make me fret
Claudette
She's the greatest
Little girl
That I ever met
Got the best love
That I'll ever get
From Claudette
Whoa, whoa, Claudette
Yeah, yeah, Claudette
See you later, George.
Tell Barbara hi.
Thanks for coming.
Junior.
W.
- Hey, guys.
Tell him-- Tell him that I won't
be able to do that till 3.
No, that's the soonest
they can do it.
Thank you, and--
And hold my phone calls.
Let's see now. Sit down.
If I remember correctly,
you didn't like
the sporting goods job
or the oil rig job.
Working in the investment firm
wasn't for you either.
- Mm-hm.
That ranch hand thing, Arizona,
that sure didn't last long.
Didn't exactly finish up
with flying colors
in the Air National Guard,
Junior.
We're still not
out of that one.
Now this gal, Suzie.
Shooting off her mouth
about you knocking her up.
Wait a sec.
How did you know about that?
Word gets around, boyo.
Well, that's a danged lie,
Poppy.
I use a condom. I'm not dumb.
What are you cut out for?
Partying, chasing tail,
driving drunk?
Who do you think you are?
A Kennedy?
You're a Bush.
Act like one.
You can't even hold a job.
We always worked for our living.
It's damned time you joined
the rest of us
and decided just what it is
you're gonna do with your life.
I know, Poppy.
I'm-- I'm--
I'm just having
a devil of a time
trying to figure it out.
Well, then figure it out soon,
Junior.
Your brother Jeb
graduates Phi Beta Kappa.
What did you get? Cs?
You only get one bite
at the apple, you know.
Jeb's not me and I don't
wanna be Jeb, Poppy.
Look, what I'd really love--
I mean,
what I'd really love to do
is to find something
in baseball.
What? You can't play.
Coach? You're fishing
for the moon in the water.
Something real.
I started out in the oil fields.
I was hoping that--
No, no, I'll-- I'll try harder,
Poppy, I promise.
No, I can do it.
Can you? Can you really?
- Mm-hm.
You agree to work
for a certain period of time
and you haven't kept
your word once. Not once.
In our family,
the Bush family,
we honor our commitments.
I'll take care of this...
young woman.
You disappoint me, Junior.
Deeply disappoint me.
Is that it?
Yeah.
Almost three minutes behind,
Rafael. Let's pick up the pace.
My running times are better than
ever since the Afghan invasion.
I'm back down from 7-minute
miles to the 6:45s.
I'm probably the fastest
president in history.
I heard your father
was a pretty good runner too.
Yeah, second fastest, maybe.
No, he had endurance,
but not my kind of speed.
What about Clinton?
My mother waddles faster
than that lardass.
And my pulse is only 35/40.
You need to get in shape, Vice.
We need you around.
Three heart attacks
is three too many.
Thank you.
Mr. President,
if there was an E. coli breakout
in a produce farm in Maryland,
would you take the chance
of eating the lettuce
in that sandwich?
Why are you bringing this up?
I mean, you know I got tasters
in the kitchen.
If there was a 1 percent chance
of you dying, sir,
would you eat the lettuce
in that sandwich?
One percent?
No. Probably not.
Most people wouldn't, sir.
And that's the dark side.
The 1 percent chance
of a nuclear attack
or an anthrax epidemic,
or God help us,
a smallpox outbreak.
We'd have 200 million Americans
dead on our hands.
Why are you bringing
this up at lunch, Vice?
I mean, you know I agree
with you on this.
Because I'm more worried now
than I was on 9/11,
and you know how disorganized
we were.
Mm-hm.
I-- I just wanna know
where you're going
with this.
Mr. President,
this is a fulcrum point
in history.
Your presidency.
The Middle East, 9/11,
homeland security.
Everything is coming together
like a perfect storm.
Now, with all due respect, sir,
I don't think this executive
branch is ready for that.
Didn't we get
the Patriot Act through?
Doesn't go far enough, sir.
All right, Vice,
so, what do you want me to do
that I haven't already done?
I mean, look,
we're on top of the banks,
the telecoms, the databases,
these Internet carriers.
We're tracking, what,
a billion phone calls a day?
We got this Guantanemera open.
"Guantanamo."
Right. Nobody's gonna
be hearing from those people
for a long, long time.
Sir, I served your father
and he was an able
and honorable man.
And he won the Iraq war.
But he, myself and Powell,
we let that momentum slip away.
And if we hadn't,
we wouldn't be looking
down the barrel
of another 9/11.
Well, I told my father
the same thing back then:
"Take the sucker out."
So, what do you think the odds
are that Saddam's got nukes?
Well, according
to our sources,
90 percent,
but even if it was 1 percent--
No, look,
you don't have to sell me.
You gotta sell
the American people.
Okay? And Colin.
The Commander in Chief
doesn't have to sell anything.
He has constitutionally
unlimited power in wartime.
And you have the capacity
to do anything you see fit.
Okay.
What's that thing you got there?
This is a sign-off.
It authorizes us to use, uh,
"Interrogation techniques
"against unlawful
enemy combatants
with maximal
effective persuasion."
What, like pulling out
their toenails?
No, sir.
Enhanced interrogation
techniques
means utilizing
fear scenarios
like dogs or,
uh, isolation
or simulated drowning
or sleep deprivation
or enforced stress positions,
but nothing fatal.
Kind of reminds me
of my fraternity days.
Now, just remember, we don't use
torture in this country.
No torture,
but it includes
our citizens too.
If they are aiding and abetting
terrorist organizations.
Mm-hm.
Well, makes sense.
Still, I can see all these
latte-sipping lefties
going nuts again, though.
The Kyoto bullshit
was bad enough.
Now, it'll be all this sobbing
over the Geneva Convention.
Let me take a look at it.
Only three pages? Good.
The Office of Legal Counsel
is with us on this one.
I got it, Vice,
I'll look at it.
And if we sign this week
with the Congress in recess,
then we're gonna have
less nonsense.
I said, I'll look at it.
- Okay.
I'll let you
finish your lunch.
Oh, Vice,
when we're in meetings
with others,
I just want you
to keep a lid on it.
I thought I was, sir.
No, you heard me.
Just keep your ego in check.
You know, because remember,
I'm the president.
I'm the decider.
I totally agree, sir.
Great.
Well, way down yonder
On the Chattahoochee
It gets hotter
Than a hoochie coochie
We laid rubber
On the Georgia asphalt
We got a little crazy
But we never got caught
Down by the river
On a Friday night
A pyramid of cans
In the pale moonlight
Ninety. 45-90 is the plan, sir.
Two hundred
and twenty-five days.
Ninety for prep.
Moving 150,000 troops
into Kuwait,
building the airfields,
moving equipment.
Then air strikes
for 45 days.
And then 90 days
of ground combat.
All right, 150,000 men?
I mean, I'm not looking
to play small ball here, Tommy.
Ha-ha!
We put 500,000 pairs of boots
on the ground in Desert Storm.
We planned
for any possibility.
I think the Pentagon can wrestle
this thing down to 100,000.
Go light.
Like Afghanistan.
Blitz the bejesus out of them
from the air.
Total shock and awe,
Mr. President.
Shock and awe. I like it.
I like that.
So when can we go?
Well, January, February,
March is best.
What about April,
May, June?
No, you can't start a war
in Iraq after March.
They got scorchers out there
burning the hide off a scorpion.
Well, I can run
in that kind of heat.
Not with a biohazard suit on,
you can't, sir.
I like the cut of your jib,
Tommy.
I don't mean to rain
on Tommy's parade here, sir,
but if you go through with this,
you're gonna be the proud owner
of 26 million Iraqi people
standing around looking at us.
You break it, you own it.
And I could tell you something.
Now, you need
to understand this.
It's gonna suck the oxygen
right out of everything you do.
It'll become your first term.
Your father weighed
all of this
when we weighed the merits
in the first Gulf War.
Well, that may be so, Colin,
but my dad's now fishing
at Kennebunkport
and Saddam's still
dicking us around.
I-- I didn't say
we're going yet.
You know, I still think we can
use that 52nd card, you know?
Proof that he's got the WMDs.
You mean the 53rd card, sir,
the joker?
- No.
That'd be you,
Brother George.
Hey-- Whoa, whoa,
whoa, fellas.
Uh, I think we missed
the side road.
Hm.
Sir, I presume
we'll win this war.
Then what?
What is
our exit strategy?
Well, the DOD has already
drawn up initial plans
for a post-Hussein era,
which would include
the exercise of democracy
and a free-market economy.
Well, I'm glad State's
been consulted.
What type of government is DOD
talking about putting in Iraq?
Come on, Spotty.
Make me proud, girl.
Look, fellas,
in the end it's about freedom.
A free country
is a peaceful country.
My dream is to see peace break
out all over the Middle East.
So any kind of government
will do.
As long as it's a democracy.
Indeed.
Yeah, the cars are this way.
Half a mile maybe. Follow me.
Robin Hood
Robin Hood
He came to Sherwood Forest
With a feather in his cap
Skip to the receivers.
Boy, we're not seeing
that guy today.
Well, this is a guy
who got hurt in practice.
Now, he's beating me, so just
a lot of development there.
He wasn't the starter for
the first half of the season,
so he's continuing to evolve.
They need to get to the 25.
Go--
Mandel under pressure,
the ball is loose
and Texas has it.
Yes!
Will go all the way.
Yeah!
Touchdown, Longhorns.
Redding knocked it loose
and Jackson cashes in.
Well, I met a pretty gal
She was tall and thin
Well--
Asked her what she had
Well, I wanna be-- Well--
I looked her up and down
Give me that,
little brother.
Oh, that's enough.
That's enough.
Whoa.
Whoops.
Oh!
Poppy! We're here.
We made it. Yeah.
Come on.
Whoa, whoa.
Marvin, go to your room.
Do what your dad says.
What the hell do you think
you're doing?
What?
He's only 15.
I've had just about enough
of your crap.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You had enough of me.
Hm? Well, I'm mighty glad
to hear that.
You know why? Because I've had
enough of you for a lifetime
and then some.
My advice to you, Junior:
Get yourself
to an AA meeting. Get help.
Thank you, Mr., what, Perfect?
Mr. War Hero, Mr. God Almighty.
Don't you dare
talk to your father that way.
I'll talk to him
however the hell I want to.
When in tarnation is this boy
gonna get out of his own way?
How many chances
does he expect us to give him?
Can't you talk to me?
Well, why do you tell her?
Oh, that's it. Let's go.
Mano a mano.
You and me. Right here.
Right now.
You want ass-whipping?
Yeah.
I'll give it to you.
Jeb, do something.
Both of you, just stop it.
Have you lost your minds?
Try it, old man.
Go ahead. Take a swing.
Hey, hey, hey,
calm down.
Don't you realize
he was out celebrating?
He just got into
Harvard Business.
What?
George, why didn't you
tell us?
Because I ain't going, okay?
I just wanted to show you all
that I could do it. Get in.
Love me now?
Calm down. He'll--
He'll change his mind.
I wouldn't count on it,
Jebbie, old boy.
George.
You scared me half to death.
All right, now, he got
into Harvard.
Will you--? Will you give
him a little credit?
Of course he got in.
Who do you think pulled
the strings?
You did.
Mama, don't let your babies
Grow up to be cowboys
That's 20.
- Stay in.
I'm going out on this one.
Twenty to be in.
Denied!
- Yeah, right here.
Here we go.
- How about that?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Excuse me. Excuse me.
All right. Here we go.
Oh, come on.
My income for the week.
He wasn't bluffing.
Bush, you're just
fleecing us tonight.
You're better at poker
than finding oil.
Hey, hey, is it my fault
the good Lord didn't see fit
to put oil
where I been digging?
Don't ask us to invest
any more in your dry well.
Hey, Corndog.
You remember this:
One way or another,
you invest in me,
you'll get your money back
and plenty more.
Better start shaking
that money tree somehow.
Well, the great peanut farmer
and rabbit hunter,
Jimmy Carter, sure ain't
helping them,
with solar panels
on the roof of the White House.
Big government taxes
are back, boys.
Amen to that.
Hope and pray your daddy
can take him out in 1980.
Well, he's gotta get
past Reagan first.
I say your dad's
a true statesman.
Now, he can take out
that Hollywood actor, right, W?
Hey, Jimmy, what
if I tell you
that I'm ready to get
in the family business myself?
You're not talking
about oil now?
No, I ain't. No, I'm ready
to take a shot.
Because a sign has come unto me.
What has come unto you?
This July 6th,
what notable event
happened right here
in West Texas?
You're birthday,
wasn't it?
We already celebrated.
Yes, oh, and George Mahon
announced his retirement
in Congress after 44 years.
That's right.
- What a coincidence.
This and right on my birthday.
And now that he's gone,
boys, the 19th district
is in play for a Republican.
And that Republican
is going to be...?
Yours truly, Skeeter.
Goddamn.
Just hope you don't forget
us little people
when you're up
at the Capitol, huh?
Well, saddle up
our horses, boys,
and send George W.
to Washington.
Hear, hear.
That's what I like to hear.
Both of them?
That would be Bush City.
Bush City. I like that.
Bushington.
Wasted days
And wasted nights
I have felt
For you behind
Sip it quick then come on back.
Your heart belongs
Thank you.
You gotta meet my husband. This
is Don Evans.
How do you do?
Why should I keep
Loving you?
Hi, George. Oh!
- Whoa.
Hey, Suzie, how are you?
Good to see you.
Skeeter.
Hey, what's up, Bush?
How you doing?
Can I get that beer, Jan?
Thank you, honey.
Mm.
I have to borrow him for one--
- How you doing?
Laura.
Yo, get me a burger,
will you?
You gotta wait.
- Yeah? All right.
Laura, come here.
I'd like for you to meet
George Bush Jr.
Laura Welch.
Call me anything
but Junior.
You know, I-- I remember
seeing you in school.
We were in, uh,
the 7th grade together
at San Jacinto Junior High.
Oh, San Jacinto, yeah, yeah.
Year after I moved to Houston.
Still, I don't know how
I could have missed
seeing someone
as pretty as you are.
Probably because I wasn't
a cheerleader.
I've only been trying to get
you two to meet for years.
Joe, can you put some more
burgers on the barbecue?
Dang, hon.
- Two with cheese.
I'll come get the drinks.
I gotta go give
him a hand, honey.
George, I got your clean laundry
ready for you on the way out.
Thanks, hon.
And-- And thanks for saying it
out loud.
So, what do you do, Laura?
Oh, uh...
I read,
I-- I smoke.
- Uh-huh.
I admire.
When you do admire,
you admire what?
People who write, who read.
I'm a librarian.
Uh-oh.
You know, actually, I'm reading
something right now.
Yeah, a very engaging book.
Barry Goldwater's
Conscience of a Conservative.
Uh-oh, Jan.
No, don't tell me.
I worked on Gene McCarthy's
campaign.
Voted for LBJ.
Oh, no. No.
Well, looks like
we're hitting it off
like grease hits
the skillet, huh?
Well, I don't think politics
should define a human being.
Hm.
- There's more to people
than just how they vote.
I like that.
You're open-minded.
Yeah, much more so than me,
I have to say.
Well, I just think
it's important
to see all sides of a situation.
I read in the paper that you're
running for Congress.
Yes, ma'am, I am.
And I don't believe
in forcing myself on people.
So that's why I'm just gonna ask
for your number, not your vote.
Oh, well, I couldn't vote
for you anyway.
I live in Austin.
Hm.
Not that I wouldn't
consider it.
Well, thank you for that.
But if you win...
Yeah?
...please do something
for education.
Uh-huh.
I was a teacher and I-- I really
believe that's the thing
that can make a difference
in people's lives.
Well, all right,
I'll tell you what.
If I win, you can
be my education advisor.
Yeah, right.
No, no, no, I'm serious.
I like the way you think,
you know?
And look.
You're a devil.
Devil in a white hat.
My daddy and granddaddy
were farmers.
They didn't have anything to do
with this mess we're in now.
Bush's daddy and granddaddy
have been in politics
his whole privileged life.
They don't know what people's
suffering is about.
George Bush here hasn't earned
the living he enjoys.
I stand on my own two feet,
make my own living.
Now, hold on here.
When it comes to the integrity
of my father
what mess are you talking about?
Washington is the way
it is today
because of the Yale and Harvard
fellas running the place.
I went to Texas Tech,
you went to Yale.
I went to UT Law,
you went to Harvard.
And I spent half my life
here in Midland.
I-- I know the problems
of the people here.
Yeah, maybe at the country club.
But you're still an outsider
as far as we're concerned.
And my opponent, Mr. Hance,
will be nothing
but a tax-and-spend errand boy
for the Democrats--
And he's a carpetbagger
from Connecticut.
That's below the belt,
even for you.
It's God's truth.
Carpetbagger. This is my home.
I've been here in Midland
since I was 2.
You're an Easterner
as far as we're concerned.
And East don't mix
with Texas.
My fellow Christians.
My fellow Christians everywhere
from Odessa to Lubbock.
Last week, Mr. Bush here
used some of his
vast sums of money
to throw a beer bash
for underage students
at Texas Tech.
He's trying to get students
to vote for him
by offering free alcohol
to them.
Bribing them with booze.
Well, you've had a beer
or two in your lifetime.
Hell, yeah, but I'm not
drinking with kids.
That maybe the cool thing
to do at Yale,
but not here in good,
Christian country.
He just kept hammering away
at me, you know?
The same lame stuff,
tarring and feathering me
about my father.
My father. What am I supposed
to do?
Run as Sam Smith?
Your family name
has its advantages
and its disadvantages, W.
Now, I'd still be with you
There's gotta be intelligent
people that can see through him.
Well, they should,
but he was so busy
attacking you.
Yeah, well, I got in some licks
before he threw the dirty tricks
at the end. Right, Laura?
Well...
What, you don't agree?
Your mother told me never
to criticize
a politician's speech.
Honey, look, I got a thick hide.
You can tell me the truth.
Come on.
What, it was all bad?
It wasn't good.
Why did you do that?
That was crazy.
I-- I told you I could
take criticism.
You see, I'm--
I'm already over it.
But the car isn't.
Do not ask me for my opinion
on your speeches again.
Honey, look, I'm gonna be asking
you for a long, long time.
Not while we're driving
then, please.
I never dated a woman quite
like you, you know that?
Hey, I think--
I think you are the gal for me.
Look, you're one of the greatest
listeners I've ever met.
And since I'm one
of the biggest talkers,
it seems like we're
a genuine fit.
What do you think, huh?
Huh?
It kind of does.
Only kind of?
Hm? Hm? Hm?
More than kind of.
Yeah.
The polls have now closed
and it looks like Democrat
Kent Hance
has defeated Republican
candidate George W. Bush
in the race for the 19th
congressional district.
And while Bush garnered
a respectable 47,497 votes,
Hance swept into the lead
with 53,97--
Well, you could look at it this
way.
You came closer
than any Republican
ever has in this district.
First is first
and second is nothing.
At least we won
here in Midland.
The people who know you best
voted for you.
I should have stuck it right
back up his butt.
That's what I should have done.
Now, Geo, you wanted
to play fair.
You didn't wanna get down
in that gutter,
and even though you lost
you can hold your head up.
You know what, Laura?
Politics is not a library.
It's a kick-ass, skull-crushing
war and I lost.
Get him next time.
If there is a next time.
George.
- I'll tell you one thing.
There's no way I'll I ever
be out-Texaned
or out-Christianed again.
How's it going, word guys?
You gotta get cracking
on my foreign policy speech
tomorrow.
I need the final draft
by tonight.
You'll get it, sir. We just
have to get our guy
at the NSC
to sign off on it.
All right. You get your guys,
you get Tenet, then I decide.
I'm going to bed right after
Sports Camp,
so I want it in my room
by 8 p.m., latest.
No excuses now.
Yes, Mr. President.
Now, come on, sit down,
get writing.
You think we can
get this stuff in?
If we can't, we can always
leak it to the Times.
All right. Let me get our guy
on the horn.
Just to be safe,
I wouldn't say 500.
I would say up to metric tons. Continue.
Some ask why Iraq is different
from other countries
that also have
terrible weapons.
While there are many dangers
in this world,
the threat from Iraq
stands alone.
Okay, I'll have to have this
approved by the agency.
Let me fax it over
to Langley.
I'll get in touch with Tenet.
I'll get back to you
Okay.
George, it only takes
about 10 tons of yellow cake
to produce enough enriched
uranium
for a single nuclear weapon.
Hank, I have already
gone over this
with the vice president's
office and DOD.
This information comes from
a single foreign source.
It has not been confirmed.
And besides, Hank,
it's not solid enough
for the president
to be out front with.
Take it out.
You're sure?
I just can't go with it.
Mulaka.
Robin Hood, Robin Hood...
Get me Mike again.
Yeah?
Sorry, Mike, you have
take out the red meat
but leave all the spice
as you can.
Okay, thanks.
Slight change of plans.
It's out.
And we got a lot of work
to do before Sports Camp.
So, Karl, how long is this
History Channel thing gonna
take?
Card scheduled it
for 45 minutes.
Come on, Spotty,
this one's for you.
God.
Spotty's getting old.
She needs a seeing-eye dog
for herself.
You know, once she was
a great athlete.
You should've seen
her back then.
She was like
the DiMaggio of dogs.
So you remember your lead?
Yup.
Point one:
Ronald Reagan believed
that everything happened
for a reason
and that we should strive
to know and do the will of God.
Looks like your balls been put
through the wringer, Ari.
What's up?
- Helen Thomas.
Oh, Barney, how many times
do I gotta tell you? Stay back.
And what else did I write down?
Berlin Wall.
Right. Cold War.
Uh, Reagan didn't say,
"Well, Mr. Gorbachev,
"will you please take down
the top three bricks
off the Berlin Wall?"
He said, "Tear it down.
Tear it all down."
And so they did.
Good boy, Barney.
Memory's still
the greatest.
You know, I'm a lot more like
him than my father.
And the world has to know
clearly where America stands.
Yeah.
Okay, so, what's that
old battle-ax, Helen Thomas,
ragging on about now?
Did she say anything about,
you know, Iraq?
Uh, she was talking
about secret plans
for regime change there.
You know the rap, "What makes
Saddam different
"from any other dictator?
What right do we have
to go to war with Iraq?"
Did you tell her
I don't like mud suckers
who gas their own people?
Tell her I don't like assholes
that tried to kill my father?
Did you--? Did you tell her
that I'm gonna kick
his sorry mother-freaking ass
all over the Mideast?
Well, I told her, uh,
about half of that.
Only half?
Here's to turning and looking 30.
Nothing old about you
except a few of your jokes.
I think my jokes are funny.
To the best thing
that ever came out of
a Texas back yard barbecue.
May all yours and Laura's dreams
come true.
Each and every one of them.
It's baseball, you know.
I think Bushie wants to be
a baseball commissioner.
Why not? I love baseball.
After all the times I've gone,
I just never could get into it!
Hey, you know who I grew up
dreaming to be, Spider?
Who?
Willie "The Say Hey Kid" Mays.
The problem is you couldn't hit
the curve ball and you're white.
Ah, that's right,
I am white. I'm white.
Phone call for you, Mr. Bush.
Whoa, Buddy Holly.
Who is it?
The vice president, sir.
Oh.
All right. All right,
I'll get that.
It's time to get serious.
I'll see you in a while.
- Tell him I said hello.
All right, I'll tell
him you said hello.
You guys--
I'll be right back.
Poppy.
Just wanted to wish you
a happy birthday, son.
Oh, thank you.
Hope you're enjoying yourself.
Oh, I am, very much so.
Thank you, sir.
How--? How's Laura?
Mm, sweet as ever.
They're back home in Midland.
You know, we were just hoping
to get some alone time.
A good thing.
Your mother and I, we--
We rarely get that.
You know, I'm, uh--
I'm gearing up to run in '88.
Oh, yes, sir.
Your brother Jeb
can't get away from Florida.
How'd you like to lend a hand?
In what way?
Would you be up willing
to come to Washington?
Help me run my campaign?
Um...
Yes or no?
We'll do the--
We'll do the river.
So, what did he have to say?
Well,
looks like we're moving to D.C.
Oh.
All right.
Hey, all right.
- Yeah.
Great.
- Good news.
All right.
Happy birthday to you
Oh--! Oh!
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear George
Oh, come on now.
Happy birthday to you...
Good morning.
Well, Jan beat me 6 to 1.
I'm never gonna
be any good at that game.
I think it's because I drank
almost as much
as you last night.
You all right there?
No. I can't go on
like this.
I'm through.
Through what?
Drinking.
Well, everyone knows
you're trying.
Why don't you take today off?
Stay in bed.
No, I gotta
do my miles.
My 3 miles.
I'll suck it up.
You know, George,
Washington is gonna be
a big change for us.
For the girls.
Your father is running
for president.
I think it's so nice of him
to show such confidence in you.
You could not have asked
for a better birthday present.
Confidence? He only called me
because Jeb wasn't available.
The point is, he asked you.
He wants you, Bushie.
Why do you do this
to yourself? Why?
You gonna throw up?
Three miles.
You are my God and savior.
I always trust thee.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
We'll see you all next week.
Thank you.
God bless you.
- Thank you.
You hit a dry well,
you keep on drilling.
All right.
Thank you very much, sir.
Bye-bye.
Earle.
There's always
this weight on me.
This heaviness.
And no matter how many times
I come here or go to church,
that weight just won't lift.
W,
the Christian life is not
a constant high.
I got my moments
of deep discontentment.
And I got to go to God,
just like you,
and say, "God, please help me."
Yeah, but all I am is name.
You know, people say that I was
born with a silver spoon,
but they don't know
the burden it carries.
I believe you, W.
And that's all right.
You know, that's okay.
Now, look.
Look what you have achieved.
almost six months that you
haven't touched a drink,
Well, the good Lord sees that
and he's proud of you.
We're all proud of you.
The worst thing you
could ever say
in your life are the words:
"If only I could
live it over again."
No.
Born again, W,
that's what you are.
God has spoken to you.
We've all sinned, Lord knows.
But it's what you've learned
that matters.
You hear me, George?
Yes, sir.
I do, I-- I hear you,
Reverend, I really do.
For God so loved the world
that he gave his
only begotten son
that whosoever believeth
in him shall not perish
but shall have everlasting life.
John 3:16.
Now, take the baton.
Reach out.
And beginning today,
I want you to treat
everybody that you meet,
your friends, your enemies,
everybody,
like they were gonna
be dead at midnight.
Yes, sir.
You give that person
all the love that's in you, son,
and do it without
any thought of reward,
and your life, I promise you,
will never be the same again.
You stay with it, W,
because I can tell you,
straight as A meets up and mates
with B, you are one of us now.
And you will never be alone
now that you're one of us.
Okay? Yeah?
From all walks of life,
we are a country
of wounded sinners.
A nation,
a Christian nation.
There are millions
of us born again.
Can I ask you, Earle,
to pray with me?
It would be my pride and joy
to pray with you, son.
Thank you, sir.
Heavenly Father,
we humbly thank you
for giving our servant, George,
the wisdom, the strength
and the understanding
to know the power of your ways.
And may he always see the light
even in his darkest days.
In Jesus' holy name, Amen.
Amen.
A setup job.
Look, I'm a devout Christian.
Been one all my life.
No need for me to say
I've been reborn.
No, we're not looking
to put words in your mouth sir.
Far from it.
Only to help you be understood
by our community
who do not understand
you at all.
Look, Pop, if you say no
it's gonna cost you votes.
And Karl here knows his stuff,
and these men want you to win.
It's just a matter of coding,
Poppy. I-- I mean--
It's all right. Genius Boy,
sometimes he thinks he's me.
Well, it's rephrasing things
so that you connect to the base.
I-- I can show you this
metric data, if you like.
No, listen. I appreciate
your support.
Obviously need it.
Trying to learn the lingo, but--
Still an old-school Episcopalian
you're looking at.
Junior here, I mean W,
is the real born-again.
All right, gentlemen.
Thank you. Thanks a bunch.
Thank you,
Mr. Vice President.
Thank you.
Thank you, John.
They all act
like businessmen,
but they're screamers
and temple burners.
Come on, Pop.
They're all protégés
of Billy Graham,
and from Texas.
Look, this is a big-time change
going on out there.
People are hungering for faith.
Your mother said
you're really reborn.
Well, as long
as you stop drinking
you can call it
what you want.
I'm not comfortable
with this stuff.
Inauthentic.
Nixon did stuff like that.
I'm trusting you
to vet everything.
I'm just looking
for every edge, Poppy.
Check this spot out.
Bush and Dukakis on crime.
Bush supports the death penalty
for first-degree murderers.
Dukakis not only opposes
the death penalty
he allowed first-degree
murderers
to have weekend passes
from prison.
One was Willie Horton
who murdered a boy
in a robbery,
stabbing him 19 times.
Despite a life sentence,
Horton received 10 weekend
passes from prison.
Horton fled, kidnapped
a young couple,
stabbing the man and repeatedly
raping his girlfriend.
Weekend prison passes,
Dukakis on--
Okay.
Now, this guy Willie Horton's
gonna be a household name.
This and Dukakis
in that silly helmet
sitting in the tank are gonna
put you over this town, Poppy.
I guarantee it.
Strong stuff.
Naughty.
But you can't run
this through the campaign.
You've got to use
another pipeline.
I'm ahead of you, Poppy,
don't you worry.
We outsourced it to the
National Security PAC.
Roger Ailes and his group,
they funded it.
Well, that's
good work, son.
Really good.
Earning your spurs now.
Thank you, sir.
Shh, shh, shh!
Here is Tom Brokaw, NBC News.
Good evening once again.
Vice President George Bush,
who's been living
in government housing
for the past eight years,
will continue to live
in government--
George Bush is President Elect
of the United States.
We should send Willie Horton
a fruit basket.
That's a good idea.
You look down, what is it?
Congratulations.
Well,
I'm just tired.
Just wondering what's gonna
happen now, you know, Karl?
What do you mean?
Well...
...my father's not gonna give
me a position, because he can't.
And I'm not gonna sit around,
become a lobbyist.
That's for sure.
George,
I've been a lifelong student
of political horseflesh
and from what I see,
you've got a natural talent.
Got the people touch.
But you need
to go out in the world
and do something.
I-- I don't know
how else to say it,
but you haven't done
jack-shit yet.
George.
George, come on to bed.
Rove hit me with a 2-by-of truth tonight.
Yeah, what was that?
That I'll never get out
of Poppy's shadow.
They'll all keep saying,
"What's the boy ever done?"
I mean, who ever remembers
the son of a president?
John Quincy Adams.
Yeah, but that was, like,
300 years ago, wasn't it?
You know what?
I wish he'd lost.
What?
How can you say that?
I don't know.
I got crazy,
mixed feelings about it.
What are you talking about?
You helped him win
the presidency.
You gained his respect.
No matter what I do,
it's just never gonna be enough.
Okay? Never.
What's the bottom line, George?
That Baghdad has
chemical and biological weapons.
And currently active,
no question.
Nukes? In some stage or other?
Well, that's still
problematic, sir.
We say not yet, but with
moderate confidence we can say
they will have them
by 2007, 2009.
Hm.
But this guy has got anthrax,
mustard gas, sarin, VX,
as much as 500 tons of CBW.
But given the dual-use
provisions
of the U.N. sanctions,
we can't prove intent.
Until he launches.
Their military is deteriorated.
Infrastructure's shattered--
Why is British Intelligence
telling us now
that this guy
is trying to buy up
a few hundred tons
of yellow cake from Niger?
We have no backup on that.
We don't.
Well, we know this:
that Saddam is talking
to Zarqawi,
who is talking to al Qaeda,
and Atta met Saddam's
Intel chief in Czechoslovakia.
There is no doubt
that they're linked.
No doubt, Dick?
No doubt at all?
No doubt, Colin.
What do you say, Rummy?
Sir, the absence of evidence
is not the evidence of absence.
Just because you do not
have evidence
that something does exist,
does not mean you have--
Can your Intel say
where these WMDs are?
Well, my people think
they've found something
in the area
around Tikrit.
But we also have leads
around Baghdad
and to the areas east,
west, south,
and north somewhat.
Well, let's find them, Rummy.
We know this guy
Saddam's hiding stuff.
We know the U.N.'s
one big international mosh pit.
We got a lot of maybes,
and probablys
and buts from Brother George,
which John Q. Public
ain't gonna buy.
Sir, we can
present better,
but we don't have nukes.
What we have is a slam-dunk
on the others.
Slam-dunk?
What--? What you been drinking,
Brother George?
I think what you need
is to bring in some lawyers
who can argue cases
in front of juries to help you.
Because th-these snapshots
and Iraqi gobbledygook
on tape is just another
bunch of bullshit.
Sir, you know,
whatever we come up with
the United Nations is gonna want
more time
and another resolution.
The old Europe.
Your father went to the U.N.,
Mr. President,
and it took him six months
as I remember,
but he got his resolution.
And he got Congress too.
My gosh, Colin,
you're the finest military man
in this room,
we all know that.
But don't you think the Gulf War
days are long gone?
Do we really need six months
and half a million men
to knock off a tin-pot dictator
with a ragtag army?
You're right, Don,
I am a military man.
And you more than anyone in this
room
learned the lessons of Vietnam.
Now, I think we're all adults
in this room
and we recognize
that 9/11,
no matter
how horrific it was,
and it was,
was also an opportunity this
time for us to get it right.
Drain the swamp.
Sweep up all the bad guys
in one big move.
Things related and not.
Otherwise, sir,
they will be back.
I thought we just did that,
Don, in Afghanistan.
Maybe we keep the focus
on sweeping up bin Laden.
Goodness gracious,
if you want to call
Afghanistan a war, Colin.
You know there were no real
targets to bomb there.
It was an exercise.
In any case,
if we don't act, all of us
will be out of here in 2004.
And that's the bottom line.
So this is all about politics,
Karl?
I'm really confused as to what
you're doing in this room.
Okay, let's stay
on message here.
Look, Genius Boy is just here
to listen, not talk.
You see, sir,
what I'm pressing for here is--
Is why?
Why are we doing this?
Why Iraq? Why now?
We discussed that already,
Colin.
We had America protected
September 11th,
that is, if people had been
doing their jobs right.
But we blew it.
And now instead of taking down
these 10,000 al Qaeda lunatics
in the mountains of Pakistan
with special operations,
we're way outside of the box
on this thing.
Why aren't we trusting
the system?
Why have we veered off
to this place,
where we accept without debate
that a preemptive strike
on Iraq
can defeat terrorism
better than police action
or Intel agencies
that actually share information?
I just don't get it,
Mr. President, I don't,
because I am a soldier.
And I'd be mighty sure
before I put young
American lives at risk.
Here we are--
Okay, Secretary Powell--
Let me finish.
Here we are
changing the whole way
we do business
in response to a small
but dedicated enemy
hiding out in caves and jungles.
Are we losing
our perspective here?
We changed our perspective.
The Trade Center
was bombed in '93.
We had a huge attack
on Oklahoma in '95.
And those who did it
are in jail or dead.
Big difference.
Oklahoma terrorists
didn't have anthrax or nukes.
Colin, I swear,
you're beginning to sound like
Neville Chamberlain.
Don't patronize me,
Mr. Five Deferments.
Save that for speeches to
veterans. Neville Chamberlain.
You think, really--
You think, with all your
diplomatic bullshit
that you can appease
Islamic fascists
who are as nuts as Hitler?
You wanna know what I see,
Mr. President?
I see a world
where in about 25 years,
America's reserves are gone.
Done.
Demand is up 30, 40 percent.
And we have two oceans
blocking us from
the world reserves.
You think we're gonna
have allies then?
We're at 5 percent
of the world's population.
We use 25 percent of its energy.
You think Russia and China
are gonna help us out
when they need
those resources themselves?
Eighty percent of the world's
future energy reserves
are right here in Eurasia,
where the prize ultimately lies.
Oil, gas, water.
Iraq alone, 10 percent
of the world's reserves.
Sixty of 80 oil fields
are still undeveloped.
And probably another 100 billion
gallons in their western desert.
They are floating
in a sea of oil.
We have bases in more than
120 countries
all over the world.
If we include Iraq,
look what happens.
We are at the fertile,
chokepoint of civilization.
The Tigris, Euphrates,
the biblical cradle.
We drain this swamp,
like Don says.
We rebuild it.
We develop its resources
to the maximum.
They own it,
we run it.
Pipelines, sea lanes.
Their resources finance
the reconstruction.
A nexus of power
that won't be broken
in our lifetime.
If we stick
to the plan.
So, what is our real exit
strategy on Iraq, Dick?
There is no exit.
We stay.
Spoken like a true oilman.
You were part of the plan,
Colin, back in the '90s.
You-- You backed our dominance
in weaponry,
space, cyber, electronic.
You agreed
that we would never allow
another military-economic rival
to emerge against us again.
So I don't understand--
Turning these weapons loose
on terrorists is like
trying to hit an ant in the ass
with an elephant gun.
We invoke preemption.
Preventive war, you call it.
The right to use nukes
whenever we see fit.
And I guarantee you, Paul,
we will be
in a forever war everywhere.
Three, four wars at a time.
That's not New World Order,
that's a world gone mad.
There's got to be some
global cooperation here.
No one's against cooperation,
Colin, you know that.
As long as we're calling
the shots.
Which gets us
back to reality.
Lest we forget...
...where do you see
a lack of American presence?
Right in the heart
of it all.
What's missing?
Iran.
The mother lode.
Third-largest oil reserve
in the world.
Forty percent
of the world's oil
goes right through here,
the Strait of Hormuz.
Control Iran, control Eurasia,
control the world.
Empire.
Real empire.
Nobody will fuck with us again.
It's big, Vice.
I know, big thoughts.
But you go out here
and y-you scare people
when you talk
like that.
The working Joe's
not thinking about oil.
We're talking
9/11 terrorists,
WMDs.
We're talking freedom
and democracy.
We're talking
Axis of Evil.
Sir,
you have the touch,
not I.
Hm.
You know,
when I was coming up,
it was a dangerous world.
But we knew exactly
who the "they" were.
We knew it was us versus them
and it was clear who "them" was.
Today,
we're not so sure
who the "they" are,
but we know they're there.
Now, I'm not gonna negotiate
with myself.
I'm a gut player.
Always have been.
And I am just so bone tired
of this Saddam.
He's always
misunderestimated me.
And I don't want our soldiers
invading that desert.
We have got to get this war
going before summer, Rummy.
You say "go now," sir, and Tommy
can start mobilizing normally.
We could have 300,000 troops
in the Gulf
by early January
without creating a stir.
No, I want you to keep
a tight lid on it, Rummy.
For the record, this is against
the spirit of the U.N.
resolution.
We agreed with our allies to let
the inspectors do their jobs.
As Yogi Berra said,
"Déjà vu all over again."
Colin, you know what
a burn card is?
No, sir.
Someday I gotta teach you
how to play some Texas Hold 'Em.
You just keep selling
our friends at the U.N.,
but whatever they say,
in the end,
the final decision is mine.
Yes, sir.
Are you gonna be with us
on this, Colin, right?
I'm with you, sir.
Good.
All right, gentlemen,
it's a great meeting.
Best yet.
Let's close this out.
Well, you've done a heck
of a job, son.
Even though I traded
Sammy Sosa?
We all make mistakes.
Center field.
This is my favorite spot
in the world, Poppy.
You know,
whenever things get rough
and I need to clear
my head,
I just come out here.
It just makes me feel at peace.
Right now,
I wish I had a spot like this.
Mm.
- Not the White House lawn.
This guy Saddam's really put a
burr under your saddle, I guess?
Saddam,
what I call him now.
If you emphasize the first
syllable instead of the second
it means in Arabic, "The little
boy who shines old men's shoes."
Well, he's one shoe-shining
piece of crap, all right.
I mean, he gassed
his own people, the Kurds,
invades Kuwait.
It's time to back him down
and take him out, Poppy.
You know,
like you done Noriega.
Well, you know,
I've always believed
in leaving personal feelings
out of politics, but Saddam?
I just can't stand.
I'm not gonna let
that little dictator
control one-quarter
of the civilized world's oil.
Hm.
I got a feeling about this.
How I handle it,
one way or another
is gonna to determine
my legacy as president.
Mm-hm.
We don't wanna have
another draw. Another Vietnam.
Sloppy ending.
It's critical
I make the right call.
For myself.
For the world.
Well, you will, Poppy.
I'm sure.
You know, just don't think
about it too much
because, you know,
it just screws you all up.
Sorry to hear about Selig
screwing you.
I was a dang fool thinking
he'd ever make me commissioner.
He was just
jerking my chain,
keeping the job warm
for himself.
You own a baseball team.
Spare yourself
the headache.
It may be better
you stay out of the barrel.
What do you mean?
Just better.
So how's Jeb?
I think your brother's actually
gonna be governor of Florida.
I really do.
- You don't say, huh?
He's always had
that ambition.
Oh, who knows
these things.
But that kid could,
well, one day,
he could even
be president.
Gotta be
getting back.
Nice seeing you, son.
You-- You keep it up.
And I'll throw out that first
ball when you need me.
In facing down Saddam Hussein,
President Bush has rewritten
the book on crisis management.
The temporary cease-fire
would become formal in 48 hours
if Iraq releases all POWs
and Kuwaiti detainees.
For all intents and purposes,
Operation Desert Storm
has ended.
A smashing victory
for the Allies.
A crushing and embarrassing
defeat for Iraq.
The Iraqi POWs march
with their hands up,
trudging past
burning oil fields
and abandoned
defensive positions.
Gentlemen,
well done.
Dick, could you
and Colin stay, please?
Congratulations,
general.
Good job.
A hundred hours, my gosh.
I guess we finally kicked
that Vietnam syndrome.
It makes you wanna go all
the way to Baghdad, doesn't it?
Probably get there
in two days.
But to be an occupying power
in an Arab land...
the coalition
would fall apart.
We'd be out there all alone.
Mission creep.
Going after Saddam,
we'd turn him into a hero.
That's not our job.
And how many Americans
is Iraq worth?
You got an election
in November.
No.
Gone far enough.
Nice job fellas.
Cleanest war in history.
Proud of you.
This is the proudest day
of my presidency.
Governor Clinton is now
President Elect Bill Clinton.
He has won
this presidential race,
along with his running mate,
Senator Al Gore.
In spite of his overwhelming
victory in Iraq,
the people did not return
George Bush to the White House.
A stunning reversal of fortune
for an aristocrat of politics,
whose long career was
overshadowed by a bad economy,
a third-party candidate,
Ross Perot,
and a secret war in Nicaragua.
All of which may have combined
to undo--
The best person
didn't win tonight.
The best man did not win,
George.
He's so beneath you.
He doesn't deserve
to be president.
And he wouldn't be
if it wasn't for the damn media.
You were a great president,
Poppy.
Great president.
I gave it all I could.
I--
I thought the war
would have carried us.
Well,
you just would've clobbered
the son of a bitch, you know?
Huh?
What?
- Well, you know, I mean,
gone all the way to Baghdad.
Cleaned his clock.
Has he been imbibing
something I don't--?
Don't start. Don't start that.
I'm talking about decisiveness.
Finishing.
Everything I've been told.
Okay, that's it.
You can stop right now.
Just zip it up,
and I mean it.
I won that war.
Of course you did,
Poppy.
Of course you did.
Can you all leave, please,
for a moment? Thank you.
This is the first indication
of jubilation
in Little Rock, Arkansas.
What the hell was that about?
Damned if I know.
I've never seen him
like this before.
Well, it's hard, you know?
He knows that this is the end.
You know what?
If he would've listened to me,
he'd have pulverized Clinton.
I mean, I wish he had
more of Mom in him
because he's weak in spirit.
That's the difference-maker.
He doesn't believe
like I believe.
That is not
what this is about.
It's his health and all
the medications he's taking.
He's just tired,
and he's old.
I can't watch him
like this.
You know,
it hurts too damn much to lose.
I'd never let this happen to me.
Never.
Governor of Texas?
- Mm-hm.
You must be joking.
No, I'm dead serious.
Well, how are you
gonna beat Ann Richards?
She's way too popular.
Look, Ann Richards
is way too liberal for Texas.
Karl's already done the polls.
He says I can beat her.
And I'm gonna make
Miss Bigmouth-Big-Hair
pay for the things
that she said about Poppy.
Oh, leave it alone.
Besides I won that campaign.
What's an issue--?
This isn't fair to Jeb.
He's already running
for governor of Florida.
One Bush at a time,
son.
Look, I'm not looking
to steal his heat.
How do you expect us to go
campaigning for both of you?
I'm not asking you to.
Laura, how do you feel
about all of this, truthfully?
Look, you don't understand.
I've already made up my mind.
So you're not asking us,
you're telling us.
The fact is, you can't win.
Why do you say that?
Because you're too much like me.
You're loud
and you've got a short fuse.
Now, Jeb is like your father.
He thinks before he speaks.
He's got his feet on the ground.
Barb, don't be so hard on him.
Well, he knows
it's the truth.
I'm not gonna say something
I'm liable to regret here.
Son, just consider holding off
until '98.
You won't have Richards
to contend with.
And we'll be able to give you
our undivided support.
No, no, I get it.
I get it.
You want Jeb to get elected
before me.
Come off it. It's a matter
of practicality,
of timing.
I want you both to have
what you want, what you deserve.
Well, I'm running this time,
Poppy.
You hear me?
I'm running now.
Here they come.
They'll be bringing the heat.
I know, don't swing
at anything I can't hit.
Mr. Bush, you didn't talk much
about education.
What are your plans
for reform?
Well, uh, I'm gonna
deregulate school districts
so that teachers
and administrators
can, uh, develop programs
that best fit their kids.
Sir, are you proposing
to measure students' progress?
Oh, well, we need to make
a-- A wholesale effort
against racial profiling,
you know,
uh, which is illiterate
children.
You need to teach
a child to read
and then he or her will be able
to pass a literacy test.
We're in the very early stages
of developing our program.
How do you plan to change
the school finance formula?
I for one will not stand
for the subsidation of failure.
How do you know
if you don't measure up,
if-- If you have a--
A system that simply suckles
them through?
What about
our failed schools?
Do you think the state
needs to take them over?
More government's
not the answer.
We must have the attitude
that every child in America,
regardless of where they're
raised, can learn.
You know,
rarely is the question asked:
"Is--? Is our children
learning?"
Okay, fellas,
that's it.
We'll see you
at the next campaign stop.
Mr. Bush. Mr. Bush.
Adios. Adios. Adios.
Suckles?
Look, you're the son
of a president.
You graduated Yale.
You-- You went to Harvard,
got a business degree--
If-- If you can't stand in front
of those guys for two minutes
and come up
with one plausible answer,
then-- Then what the hell
are we running for governor for?
Just tell me what to do.
Whatever it takes.
Look, if I need to read
the whole damn Constitution,
I'll learn it.
Okay,
four food groups.
Crime, education,
tort reform, welfare.
Anybody ask you what time
of day it is, what do you say?
We must teach our children
to read.
Okay, what about welfare?
We must hold the fathers and
the unwed mothers accountable.
Because we love the babies.
Because we love the babies.
Okay, crime?
Mm, end early release
and all paroles
for rapists
and child molesters.
Citizens got the right to carry
a handgun for self-protection.
My opponent
disagrees about that.
But Texas got the highest rate
of murders in the country.
And still Miss Richards' hair
is in the clouds.
She doesn't believe the citizens
got to protect themselves.
If you believe that,
vote for my opponent.
Okay, so, what about
that swagger of yours?
In Texas, we call that walking.
Drinking, drugs, your past?
It was a mistake. I was young.
That's all I'm gonna say
about that.
I don't wanna give
your 14-year-old child
the excuse to say, "Well--
Well, if Governor Bush done it,
maybe I can do it too."
Hi, George.
Oh, hey, girls. How are you?
Good luck on your campaign.
Thank you so much.
Good luck. Hope you win.
Vote for me, don't forget.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
What do you say to,
"George W. Bush
"is a rich, spoiled jerk.
"His wealth was produced
by stock swaps
and bailouts arranged
by his daddy"?
Ann Richards can badmouth me
all she wants.
I've created
successful small businesses.
I run a major-league
baseball team.
I'm in touch with real people
in Texas.
I work with them every day
at the ballpark.
Talk to the fans,
hot dog vendors.
Get to know
what they think.
Because truly,
deep down inside,
you know I'm a guy like you,
a guy you can trust.
Fabulous. Fabulous, W.
What it all comes down to
is who Joe Voter wants to sit
down and have a beer with.
And guess who that is.
Just remember
to make mine nonalcoholic.
So anything about the issues,
you come to me first.
I'll tell you
what to say.
Whoa. You're not gonna tell me
what to say, Karl.
I'm gonna tell you what I want.
You're the word man.
This campaign starts and ends
with me and what I think.
You got it, W.
I'm just a little fairy
putting down
a little magic dust for you.
And Karl...
this time I'm gonna
out-Texas Texas.
Your father's here to see you,
governor.
Poppy's here right now?
Mm-hm.
All right, send him in, Evie.
Governor.
Yeah. You like that,
don't you?
Put your pants on.
How are you, son?
Hey, Poppy-- Sir.
Got your speech ready?
Yeah, I was just getting ready
to go over it again.
This is a moment
you'll never forget,
being inaugurated
for the first time.
Try and take a photograph
in your mind
so you can savor it
when the times get tough,
as they always do.
All right, well,
I'll try and do that.
Yeah, I sure am glad
that Jeb's coming.
I'm gonna acknowledge him
in my speech.
It's been hard on him,
the loss.
I wish I could've been
at his inauguration too.
It would've been something.
Why do you just feel bad
about Jeb?
Huh?
Why don't you feel good
about me?
Well, of course I do.
And...
...I brought you these.
They were
your grandfather's.
The only real thing
he ever gave me.
Wear them well.
See you at the inauguration,
son.
Well, what did he have to say?
"These cuff links are my most
treasured possession.
"My father, Prescott,
gave them to me
"right after I came back
from the war.
"They were mine.
Now they are yours.
I'm sure you will make
a fine governor."
It's nice, W.
You think he might ever be able
to say something direct to me
eye to eye
instead of using these notes?
This is his way.
You think he might
ever be happy with me?
Hon, he is.
Let me help you.
Well, Jebby, that's just great.
Keep Florida warm. You say hi
to Columba and the kids for me.
Governor, the Reverend.
Yeah, yeah, talk later.
Earle.
Governor.
Thanks a bunch for coming.
Yeah.
- Hey, go ahead.
Take a seat.
Make yourself comfortable.
Hey, how's the show
coming along?
Oh, couldn't be better.
Over 100 million Americans are
watching the Earle Hudd Hour
right here in North America.
- Fabulous.
You don't say. That's great.
That's dandy, Earle.
So, ahem, listen,
I asked you here today
to discuss something
of great importance.
I've heard the call.
Well, I know.
Don't forget,
I've been the witness
to the growth in your faith.
No, that's not
what I mean.
I mean, I've heard the call.
And I believe that God wants me
to run for president.
Truly?
I-- I can't explain it.
But I think that something's
gonna happen.
And at that time,
my country is gonna need me.
And, you know, I think it's part
of the divine plan.
Well, a man don't hear the call,
governor,
unless the good Lord
wants him to.
Well, the truth is
I don't wanna run.
I mean, it's like Moses.
You know, I mean, he wasn't
a very good speaker.
But finally, he just knew.
My father was president,
the whole family
was affected by it.
I know the price.
I-- I'd be happy just buying
my fishing lures at Wal-Mart.
A-and if I run for president,
I know my life
will never be the same.
But I feel that God wants me
to do this, Earle.
And I must do it.
I must.
Well, then, you must,
son.
I'd like to pray over it.
Yeah, thank you.
Dear Lord,
we pray that you will
watch over
and always shine your light
on our humble servant
George W. Bush.
Mm-hm.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Amen.
Last draft. I promise.
Yellowcake again.
I've read how many of these?
I'm burned out.
I've gotta get some sack time.
Have my guy check it out.
I see them bloom
For me and you
We finally got it in.
Page eight.
Uranium in Africa.
Took long enough.
British Government has learned
that Saddam Hussein
recently sought
significant quantities
of uranium in Africa.
Our intelligence sources
tells us
that he has attempted
to purchase
high-strength aluminum tubes
suitable for nuclear-weapons
production.
Evidence from intelligence
sources
and secret communications
from people now in custody
reveal that Saddam Hussein
aids and protects terrorists.
Including members of al Qaeda.
Imagine those 19 highjackers
with other weapons
and other plans,
this time armed
by Saddam Hussein.
It would take one bomb,
one canister,
one crate
slipped into this country
to bring a day of horror
like none we have ever known.
Facing clear evidence of peril,
we cannot wait
for the final proof.
The smoking gun that could come
in the form
of a mushroom cloud.
The liberty we prize
is not America's gift
to the world.
It is God's gift to humanity.
Every nation and every region
has a decision to make.
Either you're with us
or you're with the terrorists.
May he guide us now.
And may God continue to bless
the United States of America.
Why don't you take
your sleeping pill?
Clouds coming in.
Looks like rain.
Come on.
You're not sitting here
at 3 a.m.
thinking about
the weather.
Remind me to call
the electrician in the morning.
There's a light out
on the path below.
Why don't you
call your son
and tell him
what's on your mind?
What's keeping you
awake all night?
I'm worried about him.
Really worried.
But I can't talk to him.
Well, he's not gonna
listen to me.
He takes criticism
worse than I do.
He's the president now.
His decision to make.
Well...
you better
do something.
This is eating away
at you.
I'll do something.
"An attack on Iraq
at this time
"would seriously jeopardize
"the global
counterterrorist campaign
"we have undertaken.
"And would result
in a serious degradation
"in international
cooperation with us
against terrorism."
Damn Brent Scowcroft.
You know,
he wouldn't be doing this
unless my father
approved it.
You know,
Poppy's good friend.
All these 1980 guys
creeping around
trying to tell me
what to do
when they don't know
what I know.
And just when we want the U.N.
and Democrats in this.
I will call Brent
right now.
He can't even talk to me
directly like a man.
You know,
always writing letters.
I don't want anything
like this from him again.
I will let Brent know
that from here on out,
he's persona non grata.
This is my war, not his.
I will not renegotiate this.
Mr. President,
has your father ever personally
offered you advice on Iraq?
No, I haven't asked.
I don't need to.
Wrong father to appeal to
in terms of strength.
You know, there's a higher
father I appeal to.
Amen.
Protestors came
by the thousand,
filling block after block
around the United Nations
to make a single...
These are the largest
anti-war demonstrations
ever seen in history.
Some of our allies
are very much
against this operation.
Bush, Bush.
Estimates of 10 to 15 million
protestors across the planet
protesting America's
pro-war policies in Iraq.
Tens of thousand's
demonstrating
all over the world--
Fight, fight, fight.
So I suppose the key here,
George,
is to go back to the U.N.
Tony, I'm with you,
but I'm flat out
of wrestling moves
with these U.N. types.
Even Powell doesn't think
we can get it through.
Believe me, George, I am
twisting my own set of arms
at the U.N.
- All right.
But I still think
with France, Germany, Russia,
we can make a deal.
Well, our new thinking
is shaping on that.
Yeah.
- Which is?
Punish France.
Ignore Germany.
Forgive Russia.
Yes, but with time,
just a few months,
much will become clearer.
No, we can't
do that, Tony.
We've run plumb
out of time.
The start date for the war
is penciled in.
March 10.
- March 10th.
George, the inspectors
haven't found anything yet.
Mm-hm.
Well, how can we justify
a preemptive attack?
Well, no--
No WMDs yet, Tony,
but we know
they got them.
Absolutely.
So it might just
come down to us
having to provoke
the son of a bitch.
Well, what do you
have in mind?
Well, you know, we were
thinking about painting
one of our U2 recon
planes in U.N. colors
and fly it
over Iraq.
Now, if Saddam
takes the bait
which, knowing him,
he will--
Well, when he
fires on it,
he'll be in breach
of 14-41.
That would sure
justify retaliation.
Well, it's a novel idea.
Let's hope
it doesn't come to that.
Tony,
look, come the U.N.
second resolution or not,
we're going to war
on this.
Are you?
I do not share your spirit
for why we need war.
War is not inevitable.
There are alternative ways
to reach goals.
I mean, it's a question
of morality, George.
Well, Jacques,
St. Augustine wrote about that.
That said there was such
a thing as just war.
Listen, Jacques, I'm committed
to our relationship.
So am I, George.
I'm responsible
for hugging the families
of those who have
lost lives in war.
And I-- And I view
an armed Saddam
as a direct threat
to the American people.
Well, if there is a war,
we'll work together
on the reconstruction.
We will all contribute.
Okay, Jacques.
Then, uh...
that's it.
Uh, you have
a good night, now.
Good night, George.
God.
I'd love to stuff
some freedom fries
right down
that frog's throat.
Yeah.
Thinks he can
have it both ways.
I mean, ripping off
their oil and then
taking the high horse
and claiming the low road.
Sir, don't lose
any sleep over the French.
He was never onboard.
They got him on
60 Minutes next week
calling for 30 more days
for the inspectors.
Thirty days?
Mm-hm.
Oh, next chance that comes up,
remind me to veto
something French
because I'd be damn glad to.
What about Putin?
Get him on the phone.
All right.
Might as well get stabbed
in the back all at once.
Like that guy in...
Rome.
--teaspoonful of dry anthrax
in an envelope
shut down the United States
Senate in the fall of 2001.
This forced several
hundred people
to undergo emergency
medical treatment,
killed two postal workers,
just from the amount--
Just about this quantity.
Iraq declared
8500 liters of anthrax.
My man, Balloon Foot,
came through
in the end, didn't he?
--even one teaspoonful
of this deadly material.
Sir, you know he's been a nudge
from the beginning
but this is gonna seal the deal.
It's the best speech
he's ever given.
Can you believe that, Vice?
Comrade Pooty-Poot, with all the
problems he's got in Chechnya,
he's got the balls
to feel bad for me?
It's all because
of that damn Kraut, Schroeder.
Used me as a piñata
to get re-elected.
I won't forget that.
Well, at least we got Italy,
Australia,
the Czechs, Spain,
Poland, South Korea
and, you know, the Brits.
Uh, Romania,
Slovenia, Bulgaria...
Yeah.
- ...uh,
Japan is sending
observers.
And let's not forget
the 90 Mongolian troops.
I hear they're damn fine
wrestlers too.
We got more
than 40 countries
in this coalition,
right, guru?
Uh, yeah.
Uh, 49, sir,
but most of them
do not have militaries.
Uh, some are sending
equipment.
Morocco is sending
monkeys.
What? Monkeys?
Monkeys that are
trained to locate
and set off
minefields, yeah.
Now, that's a good idea.
- Mm-hm.
Okay, Tommy's
standing by in Qatar.
Right. Hey, Tommy.
How you doing
over there?
Hot as a goat's asshole, sir.
What's the latest plan, Tom?
Well, we should have 140,000
in the region any day now.
Seventy eight thousand of them
ground forces.
Another 50,000
are on the way.
We'll have a total force level
of 208,000 on the ground.
That's great, Tommy.
So you got all you need to go?
Yes, sir.
Now-- Now, sir,
we have identified
over 24 high-value targets.
But this could result
in civilian deaths.
I'm no target picker, Tommy,
but I'm not Clinton either.
I don't wanna fire
no $2 million missile
at a $10 empty tent
and hit a camel in the ass.
Not gonna happen on my watch,
sir.
Be sure not to hit
any schools or hospitals.
Well, I read you
on the hospitals.
Any schools we'll hit at night.
All right, what about
projected casualties?
Well, I think now,
more in the neighborhood
of several hundred.
All right, just remember,
Americans don't like
to see dead boys on their
television sets, now.
Yes, death tends to give war
a depressing image.
We can issue a blackout
on any coverage
of soldiers in caskets.
The same thing should apply
to military funerals.
Oh, yeah,
that's good, Vice.
Well, it's been a long haul,
gentlemen, ladies.
Now, I don't care
what happens now.
How many damn votes we do
or don't get in the U.N.
Come Monday morning, 10 a.m.,
I'm giving Saddam
and his two sons 48 hours
to get out of Dodge, okay?
Indeed.
All right.
Everybody in agreement then?
Yes, sir.
All right.
May God bless
the troops.
May God bless America.
...Not half as much as me
She cried so
When I left her
It liked have
Broke my heart
And if I ever find her
We never move apart
All right, way to go.
This is like the fall
of the Berlin Wall.
I got goose bumps.
Not one CBW attack.
Not one Scud. No surprises.
Except they're not surrendering.
Thousands are just taking off
their uniforms and going home.
Well, good. I'll bet
Saddam's running from
palace to palace
trying to find his passports.
Don't say I was wrong on this.
We did it, sir. Congratulations.
Sure did, Colin.
Congratulations.
Good to see you smiling, Vice.
What do you mean "we",
Kemosabe?
Hey, good job.
Hey, good job, sir.
Good job.
Funny, Dick, I remember
you once agreeing
that going all the way to
Baghdad would be a mistake.
Well, I think you made
a bigger boo-boo, Colin.
You could've been
president.
Fuck you.
This is for those who doubted
I won the election.
Yes, sir.
And who doubted my judgment.
So dropping a rope
around his neck,
that didn't bring it down.
Uh, they took an axe
to the base of the statue,
that didn't bring it down.
And this is finally what did.
Yeah.
We got the son of a bitch.
How about that?
Maybe he called it
right after all.
Well, they got the statue.
Now they gotta
catch the man.
Live from New York City,
this is Spin Ball
with Jack Hawk
and Candice Black.
What did you think of that?
That was spectacular,
wasn't it?
You know, Jack,
it's really stunning.
I mean, he's landing on a boat
at 150 miles per hour.
I can't think of a Democrat
that would do that.
Exactly. Imagine Kerry.
Kerry would never be able
to pull this off.
This is the guy who threw down
someone else's Vietnam medals.
George Bush, on the other hand,
a man's man.
Women love that.
We're buying into that,
and perception is reality.
George Bush looks
for real, all right.
He didn't fight in the war
but he looks like he did.
And women love President Bush
for this very reason.
And women love this war.
It's simple.
My fellow Americans,
major combat operations
in Iraq has ended.
In the battle of Iraq,
the United States and our allies
have prevailed.
In the images
of celebrating Iraqis,
we have seen
the ageless appeal
of human freedom.
Everywhere that freedom steers,
let tyrants fear.
That is the almighty's
gift to every man
and woman in this world.
May God
bless you all.
And may God continue
to bless America.
Roadside bombs
killed six
U.S. soldiers today
in separate attacks
in Fallujah and Baghdad.
To date, 853 American soldiers
have been killed in Iraq.
The bombing continues
a recent pattern
of insurgency
directed at American troops
but also the Iraqi
civilian population,
which is divided between Shiite
and Sunni religious
affiliations.
A truck bomb killed
at least 17
and wounded over 100
at the U.N. headquarters
in Baghdad.
The blast also killed
U.N. Ambassador
Sérgio de Mello, who appears
to have been the main target.
Back up! Back up!
Get off the side of the road!
Former members
of the Iraqi army
are protesting the dissolution
of the armed forces.
They have guns but no food
to feed their families.
Some have threatened
that they will
resort to suicide attacks
if their grievances
are not addressed.
Then the Pentagon told me
we'd be down
to 25 to 30,000 troops
by August.
Is that anywhere
near possible now?
Well, I'm afraid, Mr. President,
we're in for a longer haul
than we thought.
Then where the hell
are the WMDs at?
Well, we control
the country now, sir,
so I'm sure we're gonna
find them.
All right, tell me this.
Whose job is it
to find these
damn weapons?
Bremer, I mean,
you're running
the whole show here, right?
Well?
That's not within
my purview, sir.
I thought General Franks
was taking the initiative there.
Tom, you're commander
of the whole shebang--
Well, that area was never
part of my command
responsibility, sir.
There was a team assigned
by the Pentagon--
No, no. Who?
Who's in charge?
Well, as per Secretary
Rumsfeld's wishes, sir,
most normal post-op State
Department functions, sir,
were stripped from us
and given to Defense.
Why wasn't I told? Hm?
What's Rummy
say about this?
Uh, Cambone--
Uh, I believe that
it's Stephen Cambone's
jurisdiction, sir.
Cam-- What is that?
Cam who? Cam who?
Well, he's Undersecretary
of Defense
for Intelligence,
Mr. President.
He reports to
Secretary Rumsfeld.
Well, that's great.
I mean, that's just great.
Why the heck didn't anyone
tell me this before, huh?
Mr. President,
I wanna go back to Iraq.
Look, let me make this clear,
since I've had some experience
dealing with these matters.
My son has got the toughest
position in the world.
He's the one who gets
the Intelligence briefings.
And as Americans,
it's our duty to fully
support his efforts
to bring freedom and democracy
to the Middle East.
And as a father,
I'll be damned
if I'll listen to people
who are always trying
to tear the boy down.
And you know what,
they built him
a set of metal legs
made him faster
than what he used to be.
They make them
that good these days.
You and I are gonna run
together, son,
soon as you
get back on your feet.
I give you my promise,
all right?
Okay?
Um, got him this shirt.
Maybe you can give it to him
when he wakes up.
I'd like
to stand up for you, sir.
No, you don't, sergeant.
No, I'm the one
standing up for you.
Laura and I are looking forward
to seeing you again next trip.
All right, now?
That's right.
All right,
you hang in there.
Thank you.
Thank you.
David, good to see you.
Mr. President.
So, what do you got for us?
You used to love pecan pie,
Mr. President.
Well, I've given up sweets
since the start
of the war, Rummy.
My personal sacrifice
to show support for our troops.
The best pie I've ever tasted,
Mr. President.
So, what you're telling me,
David,
comes down to nothing
on nothing?
Frankly, we missed it, sir,
because Saddam
pretended that he
had the weapons.
It-- It doesn't make sense.
I mean, why would he risk
his life and government
by not coming clean?
Because I think
he didn't want
his own people to know
that he didn't have the weapons.
It's part of his Superman image.
And afraid they'd cut his throat
if they found out the truth.
Wait, so you're saying
this guy was running
a full house off a pair?
I mean, come on,
that's just nuts.
He really thought
you were bluffing.
Right up to the end.
Me, bluff?
How could the CIA,
all our Intel people,
completely muff this?
I told Mr. Tenet
from the beginning
that things weren't panning out
the way we thought they existed.
And your National
Security Advisors
should've gotten into this,
gotten the details
and vetted them for you.
Believe me, Dr. Kay,
when I say that we were getting
thousands of reports weekly,
and not just from you
or the CIA--
I don't see--
I don't know that putting
the blame on some--
Mr. President,
I think we're being
overly negative
in a situation
where, indeed,
we lack the metrics
to judge the overall success
of the global war on terror.
Uh, my office, ahem, sent to you
spy satellite photos
that showed that WMDs
could be hidden in caves
that you never responded to.
We, uh, analyzed those photos,
Mr. Vice President,
and they are actually trenches.
Watering holes for cattle.
Not caves.
That's not what
my people told me.
Vice, you grew up
in Wyoming.
You should damn well
know cattle.
I mean, there you go.
You-- You-- You fool me once,
shame on you.
Now, fool me twice and--
And-- And--
You can't--
You can't get fooled again.
I'm sorry, Mr. President.
We thought he had WMDs.
But we were
all wrong about him.
And I include myself.
Our system,
the integrity of it,
has broken down completely.
And I have never traded access
for integrity.
And I am obligated to resign.
Well, that was some shit
sandwich he served us for lunch.
We're still
working on it.
We can find someone
who can deliver.
I don't buy it. You know
he had those weapons.
No doubt. But now
we shift the ground.
Keep the focus
on freedom and democracy.
Rumsfeld is on another planet.
Sometimes I wonder.
I think he's lost it.
What about Iran?
Oh, yeah.
Big-time uranium
enrichment program going on.
We're on it.
- Well, stay on it.
There's something there.
I can feel it.
Kansas State and Ohio State,
a pair of top-ten teams,
squared off
in the Fiesta Bowl.
Of course, that was
for the championship.
Krenzel, your MVP,
four touchdowns passing.
Funny thing...
Hm?
...Poppy once said.
I didn't appreciate it.
What was that, Geo?
Something about:
"Sometimes it's better
to stay out of the barrel."
These lines here...
It seemed like they just
dug in overnight.
You're as handsome
as ever, Geo.
Only makes you look
more distinguished.
Your favorite play
is coming to town.
Why don't we
get tickets?
Hm?
Huh?
Cats.
The Broadway company
is going to be here.
You wanna go?
Cats?
That's something I'd stay up
late for. Definitely.
I thought so.
You know,
I don't get it.
All this psychobabble
in the media.
I mean, all--
All I wanted to do
is make this a better
and safer world.
For everyone.
There's good
and there's evil.
And you and I and--
And the rest of the people
in America know the difference.
That good ultimately
wins out.
But you have to
fight for it.
And you have to
fight for it.
People have no idea
how hard it is on us.
The sacrifices you've made.
Laura, I knew when I married you
what you were made of.
Well, that same bolt
of lightning hit both of us.
Hm.
For better or worse.
Mostly better.
Mwah.
Since the start
of the war, though,
I barely have time
to run my 3 miles anymore.
My knees hurt.
I'm just off my pace.
It's been hard on me, Laura.
On top of everything else.
Well, someday the war
will be over.
And we can have our lives back.
I'll get those tickets
for next week.
Poppy, what are you
doing here?
I used to sit
in this chair.
Opposite Baker.
Huh?
Got him to help
pull your ass out of the fire
in Florida in 2000.
Don't forget that.
Come on. Let's go.
A little mano a mano.
Bet you I can
still whip your ass.
What?
Got to admit,
I scared you back then.
Still scare you, don't I?
I got a lot on my mind.
I don't need this, Poppy.
Not now.
Why you being so ornery?
Because you
disappoint me, junior.
Deeply disappoint me.
After all these years.
Still?
You're still with that?
No, no, no.
Not the girls
or summer jobs anymore.
I dug myself
out of the depths of hell
to stand on my own two feet.
Make something of myself.
And I did it on my own.
Ha! Think you did.
Yeah, well,
you also wrecked it.
Wrecked. Wrecked what?
You've ruined it for us.
What are you talking about?
The Bush name.
Get out of my office.
Two hundred years of work.
For Jeb.
Get out.
With this fiasco.
Get out of my life!
That's what it is.
A goddamn fiasco.
Get out!
George! George.
Are you all right?
Oh, Jesus.
Jesus, George.
There's been tough weeks
in Iraq.
But our central commitment
of the mission
is the transfer of sovereignty
back to the Iraqi people.
Now, we've set a deadline
for this to take place.
Three months from now.
June 30, 2004.
Now, it-- It's important that we
meet that deadline, all right?
The only way we can win, um,
is to leave before
the job is done.
Yeah.
I'll-- I'll now take questions.
Yeah, uh...
Uh, Miss China?
Mr. President, I know this
is a tough question
but, um, my viewers
would really like to know.
What place do you think
you'll have in history?
In history?
Oh, I don't know.
Um, In history,
we'll all be dead.
Mr. President?
Yeah, uh...
Mr. President?
- Yeah, uh, John, there.
Thank you, sir.
Mr. President.
Yeah.
After 9/11,
what would you say
your biggest
mistakes would be
and what lessons
have you learned from them?
Um...
Uh...
Now, I wish you would have given
me this written question
beforehand, John,
so I...
So I could
prepare for it.
Well...
You know, I-- I just, uh...
Uh...
John, I'm sure historians will
say, "Gosh," you know.
"I wish he could have
done better."
You know, this way
or that way, uh...
I...
Yeah.
I'm sure something
will pop into my head here
in the midst of the press
conference with all the pressure
of trying to come up with
an answer but it hasn't yet.
You know, I hope, uh--
I don't wanna sound like, uh,
I haven't made no mistakes.
You know, I'm confident I have.
It's just, I haven't, uh...
You know, you really put me
on the spot here, John.
And maybe I'm not
as quick, uh, on my feet
as I should be
in coming up with one but, uh...
Uh, Mr. President.
Not now, Ari.
Not now. I'm busy.
We're locked into a dandy.
One-one here, bottom
of the eighth, two outs
as Spencer stands in.
He's 3-for-3 on the night.
But this is the first time he's
come up with a man on base.
He hasn't had
a chance to do damage.
He'd certainly
love to do some here.
Monroe off the post.
That was the starting pitcher,
by the way.
Jay Fletcher you just saw down
in the bullpen.
Woodhouse is on deck.
Schwartz will follow
if we get that far.
Chavez now from the stretch.
And the pitch to Monroe.
Swinging, there's a fly ball
into right field.
Moving over.
He dives, he misses the ball.
Monroe runs first.
He heads for second.
And here comes Spencer
around third going for home.
The relay to the plate is...
not in time. And Texas takes
the lead, 2 to 1.