Wallace And Gromit In The Wrong Trousers
Script - Dialogue Transcript
Voila! Finally, the Wallace And Gromit In The Wrong Trousers
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Nick Park movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Wallace And Gromit In The Wrong Trousers. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
(Snores)
(Toot! Toot!)
(Beep! Beep! Beep!)
(Card plays "Happy Birthday")
(Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!)
(Click! Click! Click!)
Oh... It's my turn for breakfast
this morning, Gromit.
I'd like a three-minute egg...
Whoa! Steady on! Oww!
Gromit! Owww!
Ha ha!
(Boing!)
(Splat!)
(Chuckles)
Well...
That went as well as could
be expected, didn't it?
Though I might have to make
a small adjustment to the drop.
A touch painful on re-entry.
Cracking toast, Gromit.
Any post, was there, perchance?
Oh, dear, a bit steep!
Oh, my goodness! Well, I'll be...!
They're all bills.
Oh, dear, oh, dear!
We shall have to economise, Gromit.
I'll have to let that room out.
Oh, dear!
# Bom bom bom-bom... #
(Pop!)
(Clink! Clink! Clink!)
Oh! Just look at that!
I'm down to my last few coppers.
And those presents weren't cheap,
either. Oh!
Well, Gromit, let's see
what's on the . shall we?
(Toot!)
Here she comes now.
(Toot!)
I wonder what this can be.
Happy birthday, chuck!
(Wallace chuckles)
I knew you'd like it.
Here, let me help you.
You look like somebody owns you now.
And that's only the first part!
Come and look in here.
(Whirr! Whirr!)
I think you'll find this present
a valuable addition
to our modern lifestyle!
They're "Techno Trousers".
Ex-NASA. Fantastic for walkies!
All you do
is attach the lead on here...
then programme in.
Walkies, ten minutes,
twenty minutes...
Oops!
Ha ha ha! Have a nice walk, Gromit!
(Whirr! Whirr! Whirr!)
Hmm...
Ohh...
It's no use prevaricating
about the bush.
Yelp!
(Wallace slurps tea)
Nice walkies, hmm?
How were the Techno Trousers?
(Doorbell rings)
Oh. There's someone
at the door, Gromit.
I wonder who that could be.
(Opens door)
(Wallace) Oh,
it's about the room, then.
Well, that's grand.
Er, would you like to come this way
and inspect?
I'm asking twenty a week.
That will include your breakfast.
I suppose you like kippers, do you?
Partial to a nice
black pudding myself.
With bacon, of course.
I'm sure that we could come
to an amicable agreement.
As I say, it's a bit dingy
at present,
but it's surprising what
a lick of paint'll do, isn't it?
(Clunk)
Oh! Er...
But I don't think... Hmm. Oh.
Er, wasn't quite what we had in mind.
Wouldn't you like to see...?
Oh, dear!
(Squeak!)
Look...um... There's something
I've got to tell you.
It's, um...no pets.
Does that suit you?
(# "Tie A Yellow Ribbon" on radio)
Oh... Seems pleasant enough.
Cheer up, Gromit.
It's surprising what
a lick of paint'll do, isn't it?
(Whirr!)
(Beep!)
Oooh! Ohh...
Oh! So that's where my braces went!
(Wallace hums)
Wonderful things,
these Techno Trousers.
Oh! I'm sorry...
(# "Tie A Yellow Ribbon")
(# "Happy Talk")
(# "How Much Is That Doggie
In The Window?")
(Glass smashing)
(Music stops)
(Brushing teeth)
Lovely morning, Gromit!
Ooh!
Oh... Thank you very much.
That's just grand!
(Wallace) Oh, thank you!
What do you think of that,
Gromit, eh? Our paying guest.
(Wallace chuckles)
(# Jazz clarinet)
(Wallace) Ha ha ha!
Nice drop of Bordeaux, this, eh?
Here's to paying guests!
Ahh... More cheese, Penguin?
(Wallace) Good night, Penguin.
Sleep well!
(Clap!)
(Bzzzz!)
(Ringing and rattling)
(Snores)
Oh...!
That was lovely cheese.
(Squeak!)
Oh... Yee-ow!
It's the wrong trousers!
The wrong trousers!
What have you done
with the controls, Gromit?
(Bleep!)
(Whirr!)
Now, that'll do.
Hold on a minute...
Stop it! Gromit!
Stop these confounded things!
This isn't funny, Gromit!
The joke's over!
Get me out of these trousers!
(Boing!)
He-elp! Gromi-it!
Ooohh!
(Crash!)
Sorry!
(Crash!)
Whoa!
It's the wrong trousers, Gromit,
and they've gone wrong!
Stop them, Gromit! Stop them!
Help me!
Gr-Gromit!
The trousers have gone haywire!
Get me out!
HE-E-ELP!
(Beep!)
(Wallace) Oh! Ah! Oooh! Oh! Ow!
Oh, I'm tired!
A good doze. That's what I need,
get me strength back.
What a... What a shocking calam...
calam...calamity...
(Snores loudly)
(Whirr!)
(Wallace snorts)
(Beep beep!)
(Beep!)
(Beep beep beep!)
(Wallace snores)
(Creak)
(Rattling)
(Boing!)
(Clunk!)
(Splat!)
(Beep!)
(Wallace snores)
(Clang!)
(Clang! Clang! Clang!)
(Clang! Clang! Clang!)
(Snores)
(Yawns)
(Ching! Ching!)
(Barp! Barp! Barp! Barp!)
Oh! Ooohh!
What's going on?
Where am I?! What's going on?!
YIIKE!
Gromit! GROM-I-IT!
I... I must be dreaming!
Where the devil am I?!
Oohh!
Oh... Oh! Great heavens above!
Whatever is it? HELP!
Get me down!
HELP!
What's the game, then, eh?
Where am I?
I've had quite enough!
You'll be hearing
from my solicitor about this!
Eee! Ow! Mind how you go!
You can't go taking liberties
like this. I'm a respectable citizen!
It's definitely not legal, this.
Good grief! It's you!
Now, get me out of these trousers
this minute!
Steady on, will you?
This wardrobe's nearly new.
Let me out!
I'll give you what for, you tyke!
(Wallace) Excuse me? Hello?
I should think so, too... Hey!
Well, this is a fine how do you do,
isn't it, Gromit?
Steady on!
Watch where your putting them paws!
- (Fizz!)
- Oh! Careful, lad! Oooh! Ohhhh!
Oh, my goodness,
it'll ruin the woodwork!
(Thud! Thud! Thud!)
There goes me knotted pine!
Where are we going?
I... I can't see a thing!
What's happening?!
(Toot! Toot!)
(Muffled) Catch him, Gromit!
(Pow!)
(Pow!)
(Pee-ow!)
(Toot! Toot!)
(Pee-ow!)
(Pee-ow! Pee-ow!)
(Wallace) Don't worry, Gromit!
I'm...Oooh! Right behind you!
Hang in there, Gromit!
Everything's under control!
I'll have that if you don't mind, eh?
Aaaahhh!
Ohh!
(Wallace) Tally ho!
Leave him to me.
I'll get the bounder!
Aaah!
Get him, Gromit!
Gromit, we're doomed!
Mind the table, Gromit!
Aah! Ooh! Aah! Ooh!
(Toot!)
(Toot!)
Gotcha!
Uh?
All yours, Gromit!
(Crash!)
(Ploop!)
Attaboy, Gromit, lad!
Well done! We did it! Ha ha!
Grrrrr!
Thank you, old friend.
Many thanks indeed.
That reward money
paid off all our debts.
No more lodgers.
More trouble than they're worth.
I could just fancy some cheese,
Gromit. What do you say?
Cheddar?
Don't forget the crackers.
(Bzz! Bzz!)
All's well that ends well,
that's what I say.
(Whirr! Clank! Whirr! Clank!)
Oh, I DO like a bit of Gorgonzola.